Entwined
by La.Tua.Cantante.83
Summary: Edward left 6 months ago, trying to escape the the brown-eyed girl with tantalizing blood. What he doesn't know is that the Fates have another plan for him and the one whose life is twisted with his. AU Vamp, Rated M. Set 6 mo. after E&B's first meeting.
1. Chapter 1: Misadventures of Missed Calls

**Entwined**

**By La. Tua. Cantante. 83**

**Summary:** Six months ago, Edward Cullen left Forks, trying to escape the bloodlust that was sure to be his downfall. Now he's returned, only to find that he can never truly escape what the Fate's have destined for him. Together with the one whose fate is twisted with his, he must find a way to protect what matters most. Rated Mature. Vamp, AU.

**Disclaimer:** All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

**Authors Note:** To all of you who have followed me from Best Laid Plans, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continued support and devotion. I love you all. Thank you! To all those who are first reading one of my stories, welcome! I am excited to hear what you think!

I really hope you all like this. It is my new baby, and will certainly be a great endeavor. Please let me know.

Also, I don't usually have playlists that I put out there, but this story has been with me for a long time. Therefore, I have a playlist on my ipod called "Entwined." I'll likely give you the songs as we go along for that reason. The song for this chapter is: "Lightning Crashes," by Live.

Finally, my other multi-chapter, Best Laid Plans, was nominated for three (3!!!) Indie Twific Awards! I thank you for all the love! Voting is going on now! Check it out: http://www (DOT) theindietwificawards (DOT) com

Without much further ado… Entwined…

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**Chapter 1: Misadventures of Missed Calls**

The darkened landscape blurred past me as I ghosted over the earth. I was running harder now, pushing faster than I had been to start out. I was getting close, the air turning recognizably. The familiar mossy, earthy smell of the Olympic Peninsula was beginning to replace the cool, thin air that I'd been taking in all these months. I could almost feel it in my chest, this damp heaviness that was both constricting and welcomed at the same time. I instinctively pumped my legs faster in an effort to relieve it and heighten it all at once. It had been too long.

With each movement I felt it growing stronger and stronger. I could feel the weight that seemed to seep into my clothes with the moisture in the air. I recognized the minute way that my feet sunk further into the earth with each step, a thousandth of a centimeter with each stride. I could hear the way the earth stirred with the life of the new set of animals that were inhabitants of this place. I could see the way the air morphed and changed just a shade darker as more and more mossy trees cast denser shadows. I willed myself to move with even more haste.

It was the middle of the night now, just after midnight. Though a few people were awake at this time of the day, it was mostly still. I both loved and loathed this time of the night. It was the quietest, the time that held the most solace for me. Thoughts were stilled into peaceful slumber, and it gave me the opportunity to listen to myself for once, rather than the mulling buzz around me. After decades of hearing the white noise of the world around me, I was accustomed to it, but I still found it relaxing to be given some respite from it. It was a peace that I could not get while the world was awake. Everything calmed into stillness, and only the occasional hum of nearby, frantic dreams was intrusive.

But it was also for that reason that I hated it. Because it was a pointed reminder of exactly what I was. I could not sleep. I could not rest. And for all the peace I gleaned from the night, it was a heart-wrenching reminder that I was not free to walk around in the sunlight. I hid in the shadows to protect myself, not because I feared bodily harm as all the myths said, but to shield myself and those around me from my true identity. I was a monster who did not have the luxury of light and life. I was death, and I deserved it.

I shook my head at my dark musings, smiling sadly to myself. It was thoughts like these that indicated how badly I needed to return. It was the reason why I was running through the night. It was the pull that I was feeling. I had been this way for so long now, that the incessant, bleak ramblings of my brain were becoming too natural for me. Too often, I caught myself falling into the trap that I set up for myself, self-deprecating over the state of my immortality. I knew how counterproductive this was. I couldn't change anything. _That's_ why I was running so hard—I needed to get back to where I knew I would not think these things all of the time. I missed the lightness that I'd occasionally been privy to before. I needed the strength of those around me to right all the weakness that I felt. I needed to return, before I lost myself completely.

I'd never wanted to be in a place so much as I wanted to be now.

It had been over six months since I'd left Forks, Washington—over half a year since I'd last seen my family.

I missed them terribly. I often forgot how fortunate we all were to have each other. Our lifestyle was not like most of our kind. We prided ourselves on our ability to abstain from taking the lives of humans for our own selfish pursuits. Because of that, we bonded so strongly that, despite the fact that none of us were actual blood, we _felt _that way. Occasionally, one of the couples would go off on their own, but they never stayed away for long. None of us considered ourselves separate from the unit as a whole. In fact, it had been years since we were apart. I'd only left Carlisle and Esme once during my entire eighty years as a vampire, when I was trying to find myself in the world. I regretted it immensely, and they'd welcomed me home like the prodigal son, returning after his indiscretions. I'd vowed never again to leave them, and I'd kept that vow. That is, up until six months ago. Six months ago, my world shifted drastically.

I was faced with the most mouthwatering temptation I'd had in one hundred years. It had seemed like a day like all others before it. Nothing drastic was predicted, but when the source of all my agony walked into the biology room that day, engulfing me with her delectable bouquet, it threatened to destroy us all. All I wanted was to destroy, consume, and wallow. It would be the end of our life, and I knew that, yet I still wanted it. With every fiber in being, I wished for it. I tore myself in two for an hour, because I knew that if I even attempted to move to leave I would mercilessly rip her apart, and act which would only be the beginning of the end for all of us. And because I couldn't bear to do that to those who gave me so much, I left. Immediately and abruptly, I left.

Like a coward, I'd run away, tried to escape the source of my undoing. I headed north to Alaska, the only other place I felt like I could belong without the rest of the family. I hoped that by distancing myself from the source of the bloodlust, it would help, give me enough time to come to grips with the memory of her scent. But it _hadn't _helped. I laughed quietly at the knowledge that it hadn't helped one little bit. Despite what I _wanted_, my absence had only intensified my desire. I was consumed. No matter what I did, I couldn't get the image of her out of my head, the smell of her haunting me.

But I'd be a liar if I said it was only her blood that called to me. There was something else entirely that I couldn't quite put into words.

The Denali coven had been welcoming, at the very least. I knew they would be. Tanya _especially _welcomed me back with open arms—literally. The moment I walked through the door, she saw it as her opportunity to make me cave to her will. I often found her methods of… _persuasion_… exhausting. But I allowed it without too much protest because, frankly, I was just grateful that they didn't feel the need to ask many questions. She accepted my return to them without feeling the desire to find out _why_ I had come back. It was enough for her that I was there, and I was happy that I didn't have to voice many of the particulars. I was embarrassed by my lack of control, and I hated thinking about it, let alone talking about it. Tanya only once hinted with curiosity, but I ignored it, and she dropped the conversation immediately and proceeded to attempt to seduce me. I was thankful for the distraction from my real issues.

I would be lying if I said that I didn't find Tanya attractive. She is lovely, even by vampire standards, with long strawberry-blond tendrils that hang down her back and long legs that seemed to go on for miles. Her golden eyes accentuate her deathly pale skin, so that she constantly looks like she is glowing. She is confident and intelligent, and when she walks in the room, she commands attention, which I find highly enticing, as a general rule. Over the years of our friendship, for brief, very fleeting moments, I entertained the idea of her and I as a couple, acting towards each other with the affection that I'd become so accustomed to, living with my mated family members. I tried to imagine us cuddling and laughing and loving the way that the others do. I imagined how she would feel in my arms, and how she would taste against my lips, like apples and lemongrass and rain. I even thought about how it would feel to have her lying beneath me, her smooth skin up against all of mine. Though I didn't have much to go on in a practical sense, I could piece together from my gift and my own experiences what that would feel like to be with her romantically. It may have given me a bit of relief from the blazing loneliness I often felt, but something about it just didn't fit. I _tried_ to imagine the two of us in these situations, but something about it felt wrong. It felt too forced, like I would only be settling for her. She deserved better than that.

There was _that_, and then of course there was the fact that since leaving Forks, I'd been haunted by the girl with swirling chocolate-brown eyes and the tantalizing scent that made my mouth swill with venom. The deficient feelings that I felt for Tanya only heightened when I fled. When I closed my eyes, all I could see was _her_. Her fearful eyes danced across my memories, and the way that she looked at me—really _looked _at me—was constantly teasing me, tempting me, to turn around and head home immediately. I heard her voice over and over in my head as it came through Jessica Stanley's imperfect perception, which was now burned into my psyche. I remembered with perfect clarity the way she furrowed her brow and bit her lip as I struggled to contain the beast who so badly wanted to destroy her, hiding from me behind her hair. I thought about her tiny body and how breakable she looked, and I recalled the way that her scent floated through the air and lapped at my nostrils and coerced my lips to open so that it could dance across my tongue.

Even in Denali, the monster roared and shook its shackles at me, willing me to free him.

I suppose those things were to be expected. If she was truly my singer, as Eleazor had called her, then the fact that I had escaped her without spilling her blood was a miracle. I questioned his assumption initially, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense to me. I had heard stories about blood that called out to vampires like a song, willing them blindly to take greedily—like the Sirens call to sailors—but I'd never witnessed it directly before. I'd assumed they were just lore. I wondered if my brothers had ever felt this way, or Carlisle, though he'd never thought about it in my presence before.

The problem was that I didn't know what the _rest_ of it meant. I didn't know what it meant that I was desperate to see this little girl again, not to taste her blood, but to feel the temperature of her skin. I didn't understand what it meant that when I closed my eyes, I envisioned her in my arms, not being drained of life, but smiling up at me. I didn't understand what in meant for me that I wanted to hear her laugh, or feel the delicate touch of her fingertips against my cheek, or know what my name sounded like on her lips. I wondered what she was thinking or doing at that moment, or what she'd _been_ thinking as her face flushed next to me at that biology table. When Alice told me through one of our various phone calls that they sat next to each other in English class, I didn't anticipate the way it would make me angry and anxious and lonely. And I certainly didn't understand the stirrings in my belly for the way that I remembered her looking, her clothes pulling over her tiny frame, accentuating the delicate slope of her back or the curvature of her hips, or the way her top clung to her breasts. I shuddered at the memory, not from thirst, but from electric anticipation. Worst of all these things was the burning _regret_ that I was not like her. More than anything, I wished our skin was the same temperature, so that I could touch her without her recoiling. Every day I allowed myself to fantasize about being like her—holding her hand, walking her to class, sleeping and dreaming of her—and my heart panged poignantly each time I thought this. I chastised myself over and over for these things which confused me. I didn't understand in the slightest what these unnatural stirrings meant.

This human girl managed to rake me over the coals, even though I was thousands of miles away from her. Daily, I fought with myself, agonizing over being so far from my life, my family, and her. I wanted more than anything to be in Forks, but I didn't know how I could face her knowing how she affected me, even if I was strong enough to restrain the beast that thirsted for her blood. _What if she saw through me? What if she looked at me the way that she had that day, as if all my secrets were lying out before her?_ I couldn't face her. So I stayed away. For six months.

Early spring turned into summer. Summer turned to fall. I began to grow more and more restless each day. I tugged on my hair almost constantly, hoping to glean some relief. The Denali clan watched me intently, unspoken questions about my strange behavior floating around in their heads. I spent more time by myself out in the vast Alaskan wilderness. It made me more depressed. I imagined the way that the summer warmth would linger around in Washington, even despite the cloudy days. I thought about how my meadow would look now, in full bloom and peaceful. This was my favorite time of year, and I was hiding away in the cover of darkness, being sexually harassed by the woman I knew I could never be with. One September day, home called to me so loudly that I decided it was time. I abandoned my mission of staying away from the little brunette with delicious eyes and silent thoughts. I forgot about the way that her blood beckoned to me. All I wanted was to find some sense of normalcy again. It was time to stop hiding and running away from my fears.

I moved swiftly as my feet traversed over the darkened landscape, eager to get "home." _Home. _It felt like so long since that word held any weight. I'd never considered anywhere home before. We moved constantly, trying to avoid perceptions from intelligent humans. Every place we went was both different and the same all at once. The monotony of our lifestyle—always going through the motions, but never truly _living_—was out of necessity, and we never tied ourselves to one place. And the tiny town in Washington should have been no different. But Forks was home to me. That's where my family was. That's where _she _was.

I was getting closer now. With the knowledge that I'd soon be home, I smiled to myself. I'd never considered what it would feel like to be away from everyone for so long. I missed Carlisle's patience and understanding, and Esme's affectionate warmth and protective nature. I missed Emmett's joyful exuberance, and Jasper's stoic acceptance. I missed Alice and her energy and sunlight and unperceivable ferocity. I even missed Rosalie, and her severe loyalty. I missed them, and I couldn't wait to see them. _Nothing_ could justify being away from them all for so long.

I halted, closing my eyes and breathing in the scents that I'd been missing so much. Everything about this journey felt right. I smiled again. The action felt so different, the way that my face moved into the telling expression. I hadn't felt so light in months, and I was sure I hadn't smiled in a long time.

Usually, I'd avoid town all together on my way home from Denali. It was not necessary to go through town, and the mountains provided a more isolated route, away from the humans' eyes. Normally, I'd turn south at Sequim and sweep towards home that way as I curved out the mountains in Olympic National Park. There was more interesting wildlife there, and I enjoyed the view. But today, something pulled me forward, propelling me along the one-oh-one. I followed the road closely, while still remaining hidden in the foliage off to the side of the road. Perhaps it was the evidence of human life that I found so appealing about this particular route—I'd been so secluded in Denali, that it was nice to be near civilization again, even if it was only tiny towns dotting the interstate. Even though the world slept, this was a reminder of my life here.

I headed off along the road, following the tarmac as it wound through the dense trees. My phone began buzzing in my pocket and I sighed. Then I rolled my eyes. Could they _not_ wait another thirty minutes? That was all the time it would take me to get home. I was so near now I could feel the pressure of my absence subsiding from my chest. I quieted my phone quickly.

Within seconds of releasing my fingers of it, it rang again, shaking my pocket. I growled out in frustration, but smiled to myself. I knew that this was a part of the package of going home, but I welcomed it. Rather than slow my pace by taking the call, I chose to ignore it once again and push forward. The sooner that I got home, the sooner I'd find out what they wanted that was so important. The call when to my voicemail again.

I continued along the highway, darting in and out of the thick tree cover. I stayed hidden from sight, occasionally swooping out so that I could see the roadway. Despite my speed, there was always the need to be vigilant. My ability also aided in this. There were no drivers on the road now, so the chances of being seen were minimal at best. It was almost one in the morning. At this time of the night, everyone in the area would be sleeping.

I rounded Lake Crescent, smiling to myself once again. I'd be home in a matter of minutes. The moonlight reflected off the water as the mountains cast shadows of themselves over it. It was so still and serene. I'd spent a half a year in the solitude of Denali, but it had felt so much different than the peace that I could find here. I sighed with the knowledge that my meadow would be waiting for me. Like another of my family members, I had missed it too. It was out there, welcoming me with open arms.

Again, my phone rang loudly, crashing against the silent night. I groaned and immediately shut it off. I knew they were eager to see me, to talk to me again with my being gone so long, but I needed this time to re-acclimate myself. This place was as much like a living breathing person as anyone, and this was me, reintroducing myself. Like an old friend, I was greeting it after a long absence. I was preoccupied so much so, that it took me a moment to see the way that the sky lightened ahead of me. I immediately should have noticed the faint smell of rubber, and the scent that only releases into the air when a tree is broken off at the trunk. I should have noticed the subtle heat that I was heading towards.

These things would have been impossible to discern without my vampire senses, but I was to enthralled with my rediscovery of the area that it was not until I was a mere mile away that I noticed the glow that settled on the first tiny curve south on the way to Forks. It was not until then that I smelled the unmistakable scent of burning fuel and twisted metal. It took me until then to notice the way the earth illuminated against the rising cloud of smoke against the sky. I should have seen it long before, but I didn't and by the time I stumbled upon the accident, it was too late.

I should have called it in, right then and there, but something in me knew that there was nothing that mere humans could do. I heard no thoughts in my head as I neared. I heard no sounds of agony that an injured human would make if there was any hope for them. There were no panicked thoughts, no remorse or regret for a life that ended too soon. No one was thinking about their wife, or their children, or the pain. There were no prayers to deities or well wishes for loved ones. As I hurried to find out what damage had been caused, I knew there was nothing I could do anymore.

I slowed my pace as my phone began to ring again. I finally pulled it out to see it. _Alice._ Her name and number flashed across my phone as it continued to buzz relentless at me. That must have been what all the calling had been about. I could see the flames now, and the tipped over semi truck that sat haphazardly in the low ditch at the edge of the bend. I knew without getting any closer that the driver was gone. My dead heart lurched a little at the loss of another human life. Not all humans deserved to live, but this man had perhaps been providing for a family, and he had died simply doing his job. I wondered what had caused such an accident—perhaps a dear that meandered out onto the roadway. I shook my head and was about to flip open my phone to answer Alice, when I froze.

The monster that I had tried for six months to contain roared and clawed at my throat, fighting to get out with mad, agonizing desperation.

The smell hit me first, and it burned with familiarity in my nostrils, causing my venom to drip steadily. I staggered at the force by which I was affected by it. I had abstained for so long, but it was so delicious, so much so that my vision focused and it took all I had to withstand the lust. I was the predator, and this was my prey, its blood spilled before me like an altar. The rational part of my brain that was still minutely functioning understood that I couldn't stay, that I was not strong enough, but I couldn't leave that intoxicating aroma. I was drowning in it. It was so heady, so luscious that I growled and willed my rational self to quiet. I wanted this more than I'd ever wanted anything before.

Except one thing.

It struck me, then, that I'd smelled this smell before. Sweet like succulent cream and floral on my tongue, it had been what I'd most wanted to forget these last six months. How I'd tried to let it go, wash the memories of it out of my cerebrum! I wanted nothing more than to cleanse myself of it entirely, and now, here I was, faced with it in all its glory! What fates were trying to destroy me, now, finally when I was coming home? The demon in me cried out in exultation at its good fortune. Everything it wanted was laid out for it, like before a king at a banquet table. The scent that I'd banished was back.

It was different, slightly more pungent. It was outside the soft ivory coating it once wore, that helped to mask the true nature of it. But now, open and exposed to me, delicate flesh no longer encasing it, it was the most beautifully terrifying thing. I both cowered and leapt.

And that was when I saw it—really saw it. Among the fire, crumpled in a way that shouldn't have been possible, was the undeniable outline of a red Chevy truck. And beside it was the thing that would be my undoing. Isabella Swan, daughter of the Forks police chief and my singer, lay bleeding on the ground, hair splayed frantically out over the mossy soil, soaking in the sweet drug that made me both tremble and jump for joy.

I neared her slowly, coiling and licking my lips. My body tensed to take my prey, zeroing in on the way the crimson honey spilled around her, mixing with the dirt and the sweat of her temple. I growled with need and the way that my body hummed to life in the presence of this delicacy. It was as if my entire being reverberated at the proximity of her blood. I widened my eyes like a madman at the feeling of completeness that the red liquid caused in me. I purred knowing that just a drop of it would fulfill me in ways that nothing before it ever would, and I pushed aside all thoughts of the human nature that I tried so hard to emulate and the good that Carlisle had tried to instill in all of us. The demon laughed maliciously as the faces of my family members flashed behind my eyes. He held captive the tiny compassionate man that cried at how I was about to take this girl. Because it was going to be disgusting and gruesome and vile. And _magnificent_.

And that was _almost_ the end of my story, right then and there. That was _almost_ all I would have to say about anything in this world. That was _almost _the last moment of my life before I destroyed myself with the guilt that this injustice would have surely caused me. It _would_ have been, had I not heard the gentle fluttering of her still-fighting heart. It _would_ have been, had her delicate eyelids not fluttered open in one last soul-rending attempt to save her own life. This _would_ have been my final act before I ripped my own limbs off and threw them into the fire, had her tiny, perfect mouth not opened in a breathy rasp and uttered the thing that saved her life, the thing had been torturing me since I fled to Denali.

Softly, she opened her eyes weakly and gazed into mine, and stopped the mongrel in its tracks. She opened her lips and whispered weakly her last saving breath, swirling the air around us. The one word was the only thing needed, and somehow she knew.

And it changed the course of our lives forever.

"_Edward_."

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End Notes: Thank you for reading. I hope you are liking Edward's homecoming so far. I'd love a review to let me know what you think of it. Reviews make me write faster…and absolutely make my day. I don't have any plans right now for an update schedule, but I promise I won't make you wait too long. Thanks again!


	2. Chapter 2: The Beast, Without

**Author's Note:** _Thank you_ to everyone who took the time to read and review the first chapter. The response has been overwhelmingly positive, and I am so pleased that you seem to enjoy the story.

I apologize for the shortness of the chapters. If you've read Best Laid Plans, then you know that I can go on and on, but considering these are in Edward's perspective only with little dialogue, they will get longer as we go, once he comes into contact with others.

To all of you who have questions, I assure you they will be answered as we go. And, please remember to be patient with Edward. He's just a lost little boy.

This chapter's song: Peter Gabriel's "I Grieve"

**Disclaimer:** All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 2: The Beast, Without**

I stalked towards her—slowly, soundlessly—my body low to the ground, as I imagined all the delicious drops of blood sliding down my throat. I smiled menacingly to myself, knowing how it would flow hot from her tiny, dying body, filling me and warming me as I took all her life for my own. I remembered all the kills from my time of solitude, every haunted face that I massacred, and I dragged my tongue over my teeth knowing that this would blow all of them out of the water. This would be the greatest kill of my existence. The monster in me reveled at the idea.

I slithered over to her side, breathing in the heady ambrosia of her blood. The air was filled with her scent, sweet and cloying and salty and rich. I could almost taste it around us as I inhaled deeply. It beckoned me, lapping at my nostrils and pulling me forward. My head lolled back and my eyes rolled back into my head. I moaned at the eroticism of the way her blood made me feel, like I was full and charged with an energy that made the earth spin. I'd never known this kind of pleasure, that stirred my body and awakened my soul—and this was just simply from the _smell_ of her blood. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to finally take it in my mouth, letting it flow over my tongue and teeth and down my throat. I pant in expectation.

I looked down at her, lying haphazardly on the ground, and I smiled evilly at how she was about to be possessed. The demon that had consumed me was laughing: at his fortunate timing, at the victory of seeing her tiny frame crushed before him, and at the part of me that was dying for the second time at the sight of her broken. The gentle man that Carlisle had taught and guided so diligently was lost to the demon who now inhabited his body. That was when the world as I knew it changed.

Her eyelids fluttered open as she took in a series of soft, shallow breaths. Though the effort was draining on her, there was a sparkle in her eyes—a recognition—that held me fast.

"Edward." The breath left her nearly-still, tiny lips, in a quiet _woosh_.

I paused in horror as the single word floated between us, shattering the tense air circling us. Inside me, something changed.

If it was not for my super-human hearing, I might have missed it. For months I'd dreamed of hearing the way my name sounded rolling off her tongue, its wet, pink flesh caressing the Ds with sensual staccatos. How I'd longed to know what her voice sounded like when she was speaking only to me. I wondered the way it would make me feel, if I would quiver with intensity. I imagined it, wondering if it would be like Christmas morning, or restful sleep, or heaven. Now hearing it, I was filled with a gripping terror. It was like nothing I'd ever known before—it was _all_ those things—and that alone was enough to frighten me beyond reason. For in all the ways I anticipated hearing her speak my name, I could never have prepared myself for the actual event. The simple word on her lips was enough to stop the earth's rotation. It was enough to make my body tense and shake. It was enough to awaken me from the bloodlust that controlled me. It was enough that I was able to halt my pursuit and calm this desire to end her.

It was _everything. _

My still heart shuddered within me, quieting the rest of the chaos around me like a bolt of lightning. Suddenly, the haze that had been reverberating with buzzing energy around me stilled. Everything was quiet. Everything was calm. And I could see clearly again.

In anger and frantic understanding, the monster in me roared. He sensed the way that I faltered in my purposeful stalking, the way I staggered at the way I had been controlled by him. I took in a horrified gasp at what I was about to do to this girl, at what had almost happened. How I'd almost ruined my entire existence. My desire for her blood quickly turned to concern for her well-being as I hoped to save her life after I'd almost taken it from her. Guilt and sadness washed over me in waves.

Slowly, now more aware of the world around me, outside me, I leaned down to truly look at her. I could now hear her weak heart fluttering in her chest at a constant rhythm. Her breathing was ridiculously shallow, and even without the practical application of my unused medical degrees I could tell that one of her lungs was likely collapsed. Her body lay at an unnatural angle, making her look somewhat like a work of Picasso. I could hear the way her tiny bones rubbed uncomfortably against each other. Her skin was washed out and her lips were almost blue. Dark circles were developing under her eyes, and dark purplish bruises were forming all over her skin—on her arms and neck and over her delicate cheekbones. Her clothes were torn where metal and glass had greedily tried to find purchase in her flesh and succeeded.

I leaned down to her and felt the tremor run through me from the scent of her blood. It was pooling around her head, soaking into her silky hair as it muddied the earth below her. I licked my lips, inhaling the scent. I felt the way that it filled my lungs and how whole I felt, just from smelling it. My eyes closed and my nostrils flared. The smell was healing.

My mind immediately clouded over again with desire for the liquid, despite how badly I wished to tame it. I was an unwilling victim to its hold on me, and again, I smiled dangerously at the possibility of taking the blood from her already-dying body. After all, I reasoned, it was unlikely that I could save her, and to waste all that glorious liquid... I groaned at the thought. All my previous guilt washed away with the fresh new scent of her blood in my nostrils.

The venom dripped from my chin, and I allowed it to flow, unbridled. I opened my eyes and shook with a new sense of purpose, feeling my lips curl over my teeth. I laughed as the remorseful thoughts left me, at my stupidity for thinking with sadness of this inconsequential human lying dying before me. Humans died everyday.

I bent down, deliberately wafting her luscious scent towards me once more, sucking the venom through my teeth, preparing it to silence her before she could speak my name again and make me falter once more. I watched as more of the precious liquid seeped tantalizingly from her little broken body, willing me to lap it up before it was tainted by the flavor of earth and air, and cooling as it touched oxygen. I preferred it warm. Blue.

There were no thoughts of my family members as they were banished from my subconscious as I was possessed—I did not think of Carlisle or Esme, or how they would find out that I was a murderer. I could care less about Alice or Jasper or Emmet, and how they might look at me, knowing that I had been so close to coming home. I didn't care about Rose, and how she would look at me with disgust, or how angry she would be that they would have to move again. It would make them all sad, not just for this little human girl, but because of the schism it would cause in us again. There was nothing that could stop me from taking what was mine at that moment.

Except one.

I scanned her body again, the demon inside me rubbing his hands together in delirious joy, like a black-cloaked villain in anticipation for his most recent plot to be executed. Over her legs and hips and smooth, shallow belly that peaked out through her shredded shirt. I scanned over her breasts, noting with sick disgust the way that they rose and fell with her struggling breath. The demon snorted, mocking me, that my body had ever reacted to the idea of seeing her perfect milky flesh. I took in the long line of her collarbone and neck with indifference, too consumed by the bloodlust to care anymore about the way that I had so longed to place my lips at the hollow there. The only thing that I cared about that spot now was the still strong artery that was trying desperately to keep her alive, pulsing gently with its last attempts at survival.

I hovered over her, placing my body over her like I had imagined so many times before, lowering my body to press against hers and holding her there, ready to sink into her and drain her of her blood. But I looked in her eyes by mistake, and I was once again reminded of the humanity that I desperately craved: _hers_.

Nose to nose, I startled to see her large, molten eyes watching me. They terrified me more than I'd ever anticipated, more than her speaking my name. There was no fear in them where there should have been. I was exposed to her, showing her the monstrous side of me, as the venom dripped down my chin fluidly, but there was no question in them that begged to understand what a teenage boy was doing here with her like _this_. Where the rest of her body was broken and dying before my eyes, _her_ eyes were alive and bright. Unshed tears swirled them like melting chocolate, but they were not from fear but out of gratefulness that I was there. As if I was her resurrection, rather than her burial.

And with that, the demon in me quaked with desperation, and he took his last breath.

Because that look in her eyes, combined with the memory of my name falling desperately off of her lips, is what killed him. In that instant, as her eyes took me in and offered me gratitude rather than repulsion, I remembered the last six months. I remembered all the things that I had secretly longed for, things I still didn't understand. My heart leapt as I recognized that she was finally in front of me, after all those months of wishing she would appear before me. How long had I hoped to see her face in the flesh rather than through my tainted, bitter memories? How long had I wished I could apologize for the horrendous way I had acted when she was near me during that first and last Biology class? How many times had I imagined us being face to face and watching her eyes as they searched mine? Here she was, finally in front of me, and the monster that so wanted her for his own was dead and gone, and she was safe with me. I nearly smiled, until I realized with finality that none of that would ever come to be.

I scanned her body with growing fear that made me cry out a strangled moan. I looked up and down her body, remembering finally the way that I had thought of it while I was gone. I remembered the images that I'd created of her and I together—the way that I wanted to discover her and possess her, but touch her in a way I had never touched another human. Or another being, period. I remembered how badly I wanted to see her smile and hear the gentle timber of her laugh, a laugh that was only Bella's. I remembered how the gentle curves of her body made me ache with a foreign need. I remembered how badly I'd wanted to hear my name falling off her lips in desperation—not because she was dying, but because I was making her feel _alive_.

It was not what the monster had wanted, but what _I_ had wanted. What I wanted was slipping away before my eyes.

I repositioned my marble-like body so that I was no longer putting pressure on her failing body. Her eyes, still so alive watched me carefully, never faltering in her trust for me. If she was aware of the danger she'd been in from me only seconds before, she didn't show it. My hands hovered over her face, gently brushing the damp tendrils away from her where they stuck with matted blood. I no longer felt the need to drain her, and the blood no longer called to me. The idea of taking it from her when she so badly needed it was enough to turn my stomach uncomfortably. She continued to watch me, as the tears that were pooling in her eyes finally managed to spill over her temples, mixing with the dirt and glass shards and blood below.

I began to panic. In this macabre scene, in all of the ways I was being changed by this girl, I'd forgotten that she too was changing, and she did not have time for me to be simply _watching_ her. My eyes pricked with the knowledge that I was simply too late for her, that I was finally home to her and I was not going to get the opportunity to know her. It was as if she were being dangled in front of me like a carrot, only to be ripped away at the last second, just before my fingertips grazed her silken surface.

_What deity could there be that made this girl only to let her be destroyed?!_ She was not made for me, certainly, but she still was a work of art that should be cherished and treasured. I shuddered as I moved away from her, gripping my hair in my fists roughly and letting the dry tremors run through me. I pulled my knees up close to my body and buried my head between them as I rocked violently beside her, completely lost with the agony of it all, sobbing desperately for the things I had no control over.

Beside me, she moaned softly, and I stilled my body and the harsh work I was doing on my hair. I turned to her and looked at her face that held so many questions, ones I would never know. There was no time left. I was losing her.

_I was losing her?_I startled at the thought. Where had that come from, as if I'd ever _had_ her?

She moaned again, and I could tell that her body was finding it increasingly difficult to continue. I began to hyperventilate as much as a vampire is capable of. I had to end this, end her suffering.

I was not prepared for the way that thought affected me. A searing pain shot through my chest, one that I did not understand. I gripped at my chest like an old man whose heart was failing him as my eyes bugged out. I'd never known pain like this in my new life. I couldn't move with the desperation that the thought had caused, and I struggled to push away the darkness that was creeping up over me. I'd only wanted to ease her away, make it quick and painless. I didn't want to take her blood any longer, as the very thought of me taking anything from her greedily repulsed me. But at the idea of her last breath leaving her, I'd become paralyzed. Her death would be mine, because I knew then the very second that her lungs relaxed, I would find a way to lose myself in the darkness.

I fought through the agony of that long-forgotten idea, and began to pay close attention to her physical damages. She was broken everywhere, her tiny bones crushed so much that I was not sure if they could be set. Her heart was weak, but still holding on. She wouldn't survive long with one lung incapacitated completely, and I didn't know how the other fared. That was not to mention the fact that a good amount of her blood was spilled on the ground from a wound that was likely fatal. Her head was hurt, but I could tell from the alertness in her beautiful eyes that her mental capabilities were intact. I cursed under my breath that I could not hear her thoughts and know how badly she hurt. I could fix her if I knew. I ran a hand through my hair, shaking as I tore at the roots in desperation.

She was close to death, so close she could likely taste the dry stagnant flavor of it on her tongue, and I knew that I could not heal her. Not here. Maybe not anywhere, for that matter. But that didn't mean that perhaps my _father_ couldn't.

My cold dead heart leapt in my chest at this possibility, at the idea that she might be saved. If I only prayed to the deity that had wanted her so badly dead, perhaps the one that Carlisle regarded so highly. I'd give up anything at that moment that she'd be spared. I looked to the heavens, throwing my head back and offering my life. He could have it if he'd give her life back to this world—I'd gladly give it.

"Take _me_!" I shouted uselessly to the darkness and the treetops. "Take _me_ instead!"

I looked up at the stars above me, twinkling nonchalantly above as this creature beside me lay dying. They did not weep as they should have. Instead they kept sparkling as if my world was not about to end. I sighed dejectedly. Perhaps one had to have a soul to offer it.

Gently, with the grace that I only possessed because of my soulless nature, I eased my hands beneath her body. My fingers dug into the dirt, mixing with the congealing blood. Her sweet nectar coated my hands and sunk beneath my fingernails as I wrapped them around her shoulder and beneath her knees. She lifted effortlessly into my arms.

The movement made her scream the most heartbreaking sound I'd ever heard, and she began to sob silently from the pain. Air caught in her throat as it collapsed. Her eyes widened from the lack of necessary oxygen, and they sought out mine frantically, silently conveying that I was in fact killing her, but it was not in the merciful way I had considered before. She was drowning in her own blood and body, and my holding her was killing her softly but violently.

I couldn't take her to Carlisle. In the quick moment of my need to save her, I was killing her. Everything I wanted was flipped on me, and I gave up hope. I could not repair her here, in the woods off the one-oh-one. Here, in smoldering fire and amongst twisted metal, she would waste away, and I would never get any more. I fell to my knees again, still holding her in my arms close to my still and dying heart.

I clutched her to me tightly as the agony ripped through my chest again. I sobbed dryly as her body failed her. I had never felt this kind of intensity. I felt like I was letting go a piece of me by letting her go. I'd never spoken to her, and we'd only been in each other's presence for an hour before I couldn't be around her any longer and had left. I'd never had the opportunity to learn what her favorite color was, or what kind of music she enjoyed, or why she looked at me with such sad, knowing eyes the one day I'd known of her existence. Or why she didn't cower at my nature. But I felt like I was giving up a chance at heaven with her last breaths.

And I _couldn't_ do it.

I stifled the moans that were coming out of me at the thoughts of these being my last few moments to know her and placed her down gently. Her eyes continued to watch me, pleading with me to help her. An image of her perfect and cool to the touch, with shiny red eyes flooded my head, and I winced. That was an option, though it was by far the most painful—for both of us. How could I claim to want to save her when the act of changing her was like hell on earth? Wasn't this tiny human creature destined for the peace of heaven, a place of love and joy and rest? _A place without me._

I was consumed. That thought alone was enough to make my decision for me. It was the most selfish thing I'd ever done, more selfish than all my acts put together. I imagined her, full and whole and unbroken, watching me with disgust from her perfect paradise without me, and I couldn't let her go. I wouldn't survive, I knew, within a world that was without her. I would never reach her paradise. I had no soul, the prerequisite for entry to such a place, and I had no way of getting it back after all I'd done. I knew that if she left me here alone, I'd never see her again. And I knew I couldn't survive that.

It was not really a conscious decision, because if my mind had had its way, I'd have allowed her the sanctuary of her afterlife. My need to keep her, even if she'd never really been mine to keep, was so great that I had no choice in the matter. It was my heart that made the decision, that willed my body through the motions, and I didn't even really recognize that fact until much, much later. She was necessary for my very survival, and it was almost instinctual as I moved over her again.

I softly stroked her cheeks, smoothing the wetness from her eyes over them. Despite the fact that she was still struggling with her lungs and heart, she watched me. Somewhere, in the deep recesses of my mind, a tiny smoldered voice was cursing me and begging me to stop this madness, but even he was quiet as I watched the way her head tilted into my cold hand, nestling into it weakly. She closed her eyes and took one last deep breath. The air escaped her lips in a strangled whimper. Her chest didn't rise again.

I leaned over her and kissed her temple, nuzzling her with my nose and surprising myself with the intimacy of the act. I pulled back again to look at her face once more. Her eyelids were stretched translucent over her eyes, and her lips were blue and parted. She was so still, and despite the fact that she was covered in her own blood and dirt and tears, I couldn't help the errant thought that she was shockingly beautiful. I willed the venom to come to my mouth with difficulty, as it no longer flowed freely in her presence. I listened one last time for her heart, hoping that I wasn't too late. It beat slowly and weakly in her chest. There was no more oxygen to pump, and it was nearly done with its job.

I lowered myself over her so that I was pressing up against her. Her body was not as warm as it should have been. I lowered my lips to her ear, praying that she might still be able to hear me. My breath washed over her, and I almost thought I heard her sigh, though I knew it was not possible anymore.

"Please forgive me," I breathed. "I _can't_ let you go."

I winced once more and sunk my teeth into her soft flesh. My mouth moved over her and split it open for me effortlessly. Like a hot knife through butter, her flesh melted around me. Instantly, her blood flowed through her veins to my mouth like it was magnetized. I hummed as the flavor invaded all of my senses, moaning at the way it felt to taste her. She was saccharine and floral and the venom rushed from me into her like a tidal wave. I concentrated on the rush in my mouth and the way it was mixing with hers. It was euphoria, the feeling of her very essence filling me.

And then I remembered quiet poignantly why I was doing this.

I resisted the way that my body hummed with her blood. I resisted the delicate, tantalizing flavor of her on my tongue. I resisted the way that it felt to simply be taking her into myself, combining us. Instead, I paid careful attention to the way her heart skipped and sputtered as the venom seeped through her system, giving it new reason to work.

At first, her body seemed to still and settle, and I thought I was too late. I released her body, moaning into my hands next to her. Her body slumped into the ground, all the life gone from her. She looked like a rag doll, thrown haphazardly on the toy room floor. I quietly wept beside her, my face in my hands.

I'd done so much wrong. I'd failed my family and her, this beautiful girl who I regretted ever running from. If I'd only stayed—or perhaps if I'd come home sooner—maybe this wouldn't have been her fate. Perhaps I'd have been able to save her. I hoped she was looking down on me from her heaven, with forgiveness for everything I'd done to her. Perhaps she was watching me from her paradise. I screamed into the sky, willing my own destruction for all that I'd thought and seen and all that had been and never had the chance to be.

It was not long until I was shaken again, as I'd been so many times in the small span of time. Her body twitched beside me, and she moaned. I looked at her startled, amazed at the sounds of life that were coming from her again. i scurried up next to her and smoothed her skin, willing her back to me. I could feel it, the venom, working within her, flowing through her beneath the delicate sheath of her skin. Her body hummed with it, as it entwined itself in her body, repairing its failings. There was an electricity beneath her skin that reverberated to my fingertips as they moved over her body.

Her breathing was coming out in quick little gasps. Every so often she'd moan, and I imagined the fire that was already traveling through her veins. She'd suffer because of this. At that thought, I was instantly morose. I looked down at her, her eyes clutched tightly together as she moaned softly through the pain. My heart ached, knowing that I had been the one to force this unquenchable flame through her body.

_What had I done?!_ All the haziness of my selfish desire to keep her was washing away for crystal clarity of how badly I'd just hurt her. Not only had I been the one to actually kill her, but I'd banished her pure and beautiful soul to the blackness of my own. I don't know how I knew that her soul was pure, but I did. I just knew. I felt it in my chest and whispering through my body. And now she was lost, just like me.

_No! _Not_ like me! I would not let her be._ The guilt bore down on me like Atlas' world, and I sank into the ground. But I knew, even then, that no matter what, I'd protect her soul. She was a creature like me, but I would go to the ends of the earth to get her soul back. She would have it again.

I pulled her into my arms, gently cradling her to my chest. Her body jerked against me as her humanity fought—uselessly—against the venom. _My_venom. I was about to lose myself in the agony of that admission all over again when she opened her mouth and squeaked out.

"Edward."

I startled, my eyes snapping to hers to watch her face. She continued to suffer, but there was a billowing in my chest from the word on her lips again. I held her tightly as I rose, protecting her half-human, half-vampire body with the steel grip of my arms. I lowered my lips to her ear as I began to travel away from the place of her death, the place where she'd changed _me_ forever.

"Come on," I whispered into her hair. "Let's go... _home_."

I kissed her temple again and held her close to my still heart as I raced home, preparing to face the firing squad.

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**End Notes:** Thank you again for reading. If you are looking for something a little bit longer from me, be sure to check out Best Laid Plans, which has proceeded into the finals for the "Best Love Triangle" in the Indie Twific awards. Yay! It is complete.

I don't have a specific update schedule as of right now for Entwined, but I assure you that I'll never make you wait too long =).

Just a quick note about Edward: _I_ know he loves Bella, _you_ know that he loves Bella, and even subconsciously, _he_ knows that he loves Bella. But he's stubborn, and confused, and even though everything points to her as his mate, he's going to struggle with that. Just keep that in mind as we move along.

I hate to beg, but I'll do it if necessary. Leave me some love in the form of a review! Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3: Dear Father, I Pray for

**Author's Note:** To all my wonderful readers so far, thank you from the bottom of my review-loving heart. I am so grateful for the support.

If you've left me a review for the last chapter, I promise, I'll get back to you. This chapter was incredibly difficult to write, for some reason, and everything in me has gone into the chapter.

This one was supposed to (on paper anyway) be twice as long, but as I was writing, I knew it would have taken that much longer to get to you, and I was afraid the depth of this chapter would be lost in a longer one. So I broke it up. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 3's Song: Nothing Else Matters, by Metallica

**Disclaimer:** All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 3: Dear Father, I Pray for Your Forgiveness**

For as long as my memories will allow, I've been trapped in the body of a young man only a fraction of my real age. I've changed and grown, and learned, my spirit retaining my age in some respects, though my body hasn't changed at all. Every day the sun rises, and I look exactly the same as I did the day before, the same as I have for almost a century. Where I should be ashen and decrepit, I am not. Day after day, my life is unchanging. I've lived my life in the same manner for decades, over and over again repeating my formidable teenage years. But I've never felt like a teenager often does.

As a seventeen year old male, constantly existing in this state of changelessness, I've never been grounded. Where most boys that look my age strive to undermine their parents, to find their place in the world through their base, rebellious nature, I have never stayed out late or stole or gotten bad grades from all my lies. The thrill of disobedience was never my purpose for anything, even when I rejected my father's beliefs. I've never been afraid of how my parents would punish me, because even then I knew Carlisle and Esme wouldn't punish me for my mistakes. It was not their way.

And that terrified me more than any threat of punishment ever could. What I feared most was their disappointment. Carlisle and Esme would never restrict my social life or place me in the solitary confinement of my bedroom. No, they would only look at me with sorrowful eyes and know what I had done. That was the weight that I carried as surely as I carried Isabella. She was both my salvation and the grindstone tied around my neck.

I'd done terrible things before, unspeakable and horrifying, and they'd welcomed me home with open arms, simply thankful that I was returning to them. They had some of the gory details of my nearly four years of solitude, and it didn't matter. I still held the guilt of the things that I had said to Carlisle, and the way that I threw his beliefs in his face before I left. I still felt the clenching in my abdomen at the way I had spat on all the good that he had tried to instill in me after my change with my bloody, vigilante murders. I had disgraced him and Esme, and they had still opened their home and their lives to me again, simply thankful to have me a part of their family again. Their love for someone such as me had always astounded me, for I had never deserved it.

I knew, though, that this particular indiscretion would not be the same. Though this was one act against what was hundreds of others, this particular one hurt more than the rest. I knew without seeing them that they would not receive it the same way. Rather than running from them and murdering, I'd run home, only to misstep on my way back. Had I not learned anything? No, I had learned nothing, especially now, since my crime now was not ridding the world of the scum that walked it, but taking the life of an innocent girl. I was sure that they would finally see how disgusting a creature I truly was.

There was that, and there was the fact that the last time I had left them, it had only been Carlisle and Esme who I'd been forfeiting. Two of the most compassionate, patient beings I'd ever known, I was wholly unworthy. They were overwhelmingly thankful that I was home to them, so much so that they'd overlooked ever murderous act that I took part in while I was gone. But then, I didn't have the evidence of my mistakes curled in agony against my chest. The only repercussions that they'd had to deal with before from me was the heavy guilt and anger that I bore from my actions. They'd never had to look my mistakes in the eyes. And now there were six of them, rather than two.

For the second time in my life, I feared coming home. Their impending disappointment was enough to send me into a fit of despair. Since I'd left the last time, I'd focused all my energy into being their first and most-loved son. I was not arrogant enough to think that they loved me more, but it was always my mission to make them proud. I'd lived the straight and narrow, never causing waves. I never acted out, always performed my role as protector with stoic diligence. I never questioned the decisions that my siblings made, never complained when I was expected to support them. I was careful with the humans, and did everything I could to maintain the carefully constructed façade that we all had, and I'd never so much as stepped out of line to indicate to the world that anything was out of the ordinary. I was always the good son, the one who cleaned up after the others' messes. The reliable one. After the last time, I never wanted to be anything but.

All that they saw in me, all that I'd hoped to prove to them all this time, was about to change. Not more than an hour ago, as I was finally coming home to them again, I'd committed one of the most heinous of offenses, and because of my selfishness, we were all in terrible danger. My actions threatened to destroy us all.

Bella mewed against my chest, and I held her closer instinctually. I'd been so lost in the fear that I held for what was to come that I'd nearly forgotten the crimes that I'd committed against her as well. I looked down at her, noting the way that she suffered. For once in my existence, I wished that I could hear her silent thoughts. I longed to know how her body—her mind—was managing the hell that I'd thrown her into. Her face was twisted in pain, from the fire that burned in her. She barely made noise, but I could tell exactly what she was feeling. I remembered it with crystal clarity. Hotter than ten-thousand fires, it burned out your very soul. There was no hope left in you when it was done, and no amount of promise for the future could give comfort. She suffered so greatly now that nothing could ease her ache. She suffered. Because of _me_. Because of my selfishness.

"I'm sorry," I whispered against her temple. "I'm so, so sorry."

The words could never encompass all that I needed to tell her.

She whimpered and moved herself desperately against my chest. No one had held me this way when I was burning. I hoped that my cool body gave her even an infinitesimal amount of relief—of the recognition that there was an outside world despite the engulfing flames. _That_ would at least be something. Her face remained stoic as she breathed rapidly through the pain, but she moved closer to me despite it. It was as if she couldn't get close enough to me, as if she wanted a hundred arms wrapped around her—as if she wanted to crawl inside of me to escape her torment.

I wished I could take it from her.

The house was unnaturally calm as I approached. I knew they were there, of course. I could hear their thoughts echoing through my skull. The buzz of their own private musings was as prevalent as always, but something in it felt foreign. There was a strange sort of energy that surrounded them all, and I wondered how much Jasper had to do with that. He must have been putting out a great deal of effort to control the mood. I hoped that his resolve on the situation would hold.

Slowly, almost humanly, I walked through the door with the angel in my arms. My steps were carefully measured, for both her sake and mine. I closed the door behind me, letting it latch quietly against the unusual stillness of the house. After all this time away, it still felt like home. It smelled of all my family members—cinnamon and vanilla and pine and moss and leather—and paperbacks and corduroy and furniture polish. I closed my eyes and breathed in the feeling of being home again. By the time I opened my eyes, they were all there, standing before me. For a fleeting fraction of a moment, their minds were as empty as Bella's, all of them too shocked at the enormity of the situation. It was as if they were told the truth of it, but none of them would believe it until they'd seen it with their own eyes. Suddenly, the eerie tranquility was broken, crashing into me like a tsunami. None of them spoke aloud, but I was slammed with the onslaught of their thoughts, too many now to fully comprehend in complete sentences.

_True. Dear God. Visions couldn't have warned. Poor thing. Imbecile. So tiny. Should be interesting. Dispose of her. So much to do. We'll need to leave! Oh, Edward. Fucking moron. Selfish bastard. We'll be such friends. End this now. Fire, limbs. All this time, and she was here. Ramifications. The venom's spreading well. Should have picked up the phone. It's about time we had some new. Charlie. Welcome home. Clean wound. Close call. New daughter. Asshole! Look what you've done!_

"How could you _possibly_ be such a _fucking_ moron, Edward?!" It was Rosalie's voice that first echoed out through the still foyer, reverberating against all of our bodies like the walls of a canyon. All of them turned to look at her and I sighed. I knew it was coming. I could hear the tenure of Rosalie's thoughts most clearly through their quiet inner musings, but none of them had the knowledge like I had.

She launched at me, pushing past Carlisle and Emmett, both of whom reached for her too late. Their hands grasped the air around her swirling it, and Jasper tried to calm her, but she pushed it away with the venomous rage that she was radiating. In a moment, she was standing in front of me, her face a mere foot apart from mine. Her eyes blazed with the hatred that her thoughts held, and she seethed at me.

"How could you be so _god_-damned selfish?! Do you know what you've _done_ to us?! _Jesus_, Edward!" I didn't reply, simply stood there and let her throw as many insults at me as she could. She spat at me in her mind, ready to rip into me. If not for Bella clutched in my arms, she would have. Her body heaved as if it needed the oxygen from her tantrum. It was not until Bella whimpered in my arms that my attention drifted from Rosalie. I held her closer and turned her away from Rosalie, knowing that the rage that she held for me was affecting the tiny girl in my arms.

"Enough, Rosalie," Carlisle commanded behind her. Everyone's attention snapped from us to him. His tone was calm, though I could hear his anger. I'd spent too long listening to Carlisle to ignore it, and I cringed. I'd done that to him, made him lose faith. The good man that was incessantly strong and steady and patient faltered because of me. But Rosalie turned on him, too angry at me to head his warning.

"Damnit, Carlisle. Look what he's _done_. Look what we have to _sacrifice_ now. All because he was leading with his dick, and was too much of a moron to pick up his fucking cell phone."

"_Enough_!" He roared. I watched as every one of my family members stilled, horrified at the way that he spoke. Their thoughts reflected their surprise at my father's tumultuous outburst. He held her gaze for a moment before he relaxed, sighing and shaking his head. "I don't disagree that there were mistakes made, however what is done is done. We have too much to do now—all _eight_ of us—to sit here arguing. There will be plenty of time to speak of this later. Now, however, we must act quickly."

Carlisle turned to me, and I watched him carefully, listening to the words he would speak only to me. Of all my family, it was he whom I feared the most, not because of the punishment but because of the significance of his place in my life. It was my father whose opinion held the most weight for me. His eyes flickered with something sad, though his thoughts did not betray him. He blocked me out skillfully. I bowed my head in shame at whatever it was that he did not want to tell me.

"Edward, bring her to the study. We'll have to go and cover your tracks. I am assuming there will be authorities at the scene soon."

Like a herd, we all traveled into the study to place Bella down on the worn leather couch. This had always been one of my favorite rooms of this house. It was warm and comfortable, full of books and knowledge. I spent a great deal of time there, allowing myself the distraction of learning. Of all of my siblings, I was always the most studios, the most serious and focused. But I was always the loneliest. I felt more alone now than I ever had.

Esme quickly went to go get a blanket to make Isabella more comfortable, though the effort was unnecessary. Soon, she would not be uncomfortable at all, and I knew there was nothing that would ease the agony that she was now in. Esme's motherly thoughts were busy anticipating what her newest family member might need, and despite my somber mood, I smiled slightly. Already, Esme wanted her, and like me, she desperately wanted to protect her. I was grateful for the support that her love provided.

I leaned over to place her on the sofa gently, and the cry that she made as my hold on her slackened nearly ripped my heart out of my chest. I felt a sob tear out of my own throat unexpectedly at her reaction to my releasing her. Her hands clawed at the air where I'd been, her body arching up into nothingness to close the distance I'd put between us. I gasped and reached for her again, turning my attention back to my father.

"I can't leave her, Carlisle," I choked. "I _can't_."

He stared at me for a moment before he nodded slightly. Once again, the cold exterior that he presented to me crushed me, though I felt the hint of pity that he had for me at Bella's reaction. Otherwise, he blocked his thoughts from me. I didn't know if I'd ever regain his trust. Aside from what I did to Bella, it would be my greatest regret. In his head, he recalled the way Alice described her vision, marking the scene with surprising clarity. Only a few small details were lacking from how he understood Alice's vision. He turned to her and spoke gently to her.

"You've seen the spot? Can you get there?" 

Alice snorted and rolled her eyes at him in mock annoyance.

"Of course I can get there Carlisle. I knew it before _he_ did."

She bounced over to the doorway, and Jasper followed quickly behind her. He didn't need to be asked—his place was at her side. His thoughts reflected his worry and trepidation over the state of things—for Alice, mostly—while Alice seemed oddly certain. Even for her, her thoughts were happy, almost smug. Though she rarely doubted herself, this was as natural as the earth's rotation to her. She felt… _at peace_. There was no question that this was the right thing. She hoped that I would understand that soon enough, and she laughed at me for all the doubt she was sure I had, her giggles ringing out clearly in the room, bouncing through the thick tension.

_Everything will be fine, Edward. I've seen it. Perfect, in fact. She'll—you'll—be perfect._

I chose to ignore my tiny sister. My father turned to Emmett.

"Emmett, you and Rosalie go as well. Protect him. Protect _them_," he said, looking with concern between me and the girl lying before us. "Do whatever you have to do."

Emmett nodded and shot me a wide grin, thinking of all the ways that they would cover my tracks. Bears, cougars, a massive explosion—Emmett saw this as an adventure, a melding of the minds and a way to flex his unused muscles, all rolled into one great experience.

_Don't worry, bro. We'll fix it up._

I nodded at him gratefully. Still crouched down next to Bella, it was only then that I realized I held her still in my arms. I could feel the way that her body was reacting to the pain, silent tremors running through her body as it tried in vain to shake off the venom's spread. I was next to the couch, and her little body was wrapped up in mine so that half of her lay on the sofa. She'd struggled so hard to get back against me that I hadn't had to do any work of getting her in my arms.

"NO!" Rosalie roared. "You expect us to go and fix _his_ mistakes? Put us all in danger because he can't deal with it? While he sits beside his little damsel in distress and lets us clean up the mess?" She seethed at me again and sneered at the sight of Bella shivering in my arms. She was so angry at me that nothing else mattered at the moment, not even the pain that the girl next to me was in.

I wanted to lunge at her for the way that she looked at Bella, like a pariah, but Carlisle sensed my anger and stilled me with a raise of his hand and a thought of caution.

"Rosalie, _yes_. We protect each other, and that includes your brother and this girl. She's one of us now. _Go_."

There was no hesitation in his voice, no room for her to question his judgment. Though none of us were his biological children, none of us questioned that role that he had. Even Rosalie loved him like a father, despite the fact that they often fought. Like a father and his headstrong daughter. She stared at him for another moment before sighing angrily and shooting me a look of annoyance. Before she could walk out and follow Emmett and Alice and Jasper, however, Carlisle reached over and grabbed her arm, halting her.

"And while you're out there, consider _another_ time, when we were doing the same for you. We are _family_, Rosalie, and I don't appreciate double standards."

Rosalie's eyes immediately sought the floor as her thoughts clouded with remorse. She thought of Emmett, and how not long after her change we were leaving to cover the mistake she had made. But she didn't really _see_ it as a mistake. She had no regret for that decision. Her memories were nothing like how I was feeling. Because I fully grieved what I had done to someone so close to their heaven.

I looked down at the tiny once-human now clutching desperately at my shirt. Her forehead was creased with the woe, as if she were bearing it on her shoulders like a load. I didn't even realize that everyone had left until my father's thoughts echoed in my brain clearly, without the constant chatter of everyone else.

_She's coming along nicely, Edward._

His tone was not cheerful. It was not like it would have been had she chosen this life, or if he were speaking of one of his patients on the road to their recovery. His comment was meant as a comfort, a way to lessen my burden and worry, but it did neither of those things. Instead, I recognized the disappointment in his inner voice, full of sadness for the lifestyle she would now have. I heard the way that he was pained by another loss of human life to our kind. I recognized that, while he understood she was already dying, that she never had a choice because of my decision.

I'd heard these inner musings from him before, the way he wrestled with the choice changing a dying human. He did it with Emmett, and while I wasn't there for Esme's or Rosalie's initial bite, I had heard how he'd wrestled with those too. He couldn't let the guilt of his actions go at first, and he thought of them constantly. I even heard the regret he had from changing me, in the first few years of my new life, as I adjusted to it. But this time was different. This time, _he_ was not the one that did the changing. I was, and he was confused about how to feel about that. His thoughts were a mix of sadness, pride, and regret. He knew, now _I_ would have to bear the burden as he had.

"You think I made a mistake," I whispered to him. His brow furrowed as he knelt beside me, taking careful inspection of Bella's body. Gently, he turned her little arms so that he could inspect the way that the venom was mending her. He noted the way that the cuts and scrapes that had damaged her human exterior were now melding back together. Already it was beginning. I could hear—_feel_—the quiet workings of the venom as it shifted her body for its purpose. He focused on categorizing in a physicians detail the ways that her body was changing over, musing over the rapid spread of my venom and the differences between her and the family members before her. He wondered if it was the differences in _our_ venom that caused this, and made a mental note to analyze samples of them. He didn't answer me, and I sighed.

"You didn't answer me," I said, this time with more conviction and a little irritation. I was privy to his thoughts. I already knew his regrets. But I needed him to affirm them before I could fully slip into depression. It was his turn to sigh.

"Edward, I think you took a big risk by changing her." His forehead creased in concentration as he ran through what he was going to say out loud to me. All of it was useless. I already knew.

"I regret it," I told him, interrupting his thoughts. I could hear the desperation in my own voice, but the admission hurt me. My chest pinched as the words left my mouth. _I regret it_. My eyes pricked with the tears that I could not shed. Part of me was being truthful, because of all the hope and light that I'd taken from her, and the way that I'd damned her to this life, and the way that I'd ruined my family's lives with it. But another, more selfish part of me regretted _saying_ that I regretted it. Because that part of me could _never_ regret keeping her with me.

"Do you, Edward?" I looked up at him, slightly surprised to see him watching me so carefully. "Do you really regret it? Because I think _that_ is a mistake in and of itself."

Now I was really confused. The words that were coming out of his mouth were not coherent with the way that his mind was working, but it was as if _he_ could see into _my_ mind and he was telling me what he was seeing. Carlisle was sad, and sorry, but this was not what he was telling me—he was saying that I should not feel this way. He continued before I could interrupt, placing a reassuring, fatherly hand on my shoulder.

"When Alice told us what she saw, after she had tried to call you and knew that you would not answer, I worried. But it was not for _her_ that I worried, Edward," he said, brushing Bella's hair away from her face in a parental, loving gesture. "This girl's human body was dying. There was nothing that any of us could do for her—I couldn't have fixed her at that point, as much as I would have liked to. But you? I knew you would take it badly, no matter which way you decided to go. You bringing her here like this is a _gift_. For our family. For _you_."

My father thought of all those months ago, when I had come crashing through his office door after being tempted nearly to the point of breaking. He was the only one that knew of my reason for fleeing, the only one who understood the draw that this girl had for me. I hadn't told anyone, and neither had he. Even Esme. He was the only one who could understand the gravity of this situation that I'd been presented with not an hour ago. Perhaps he had never met his singer, but he still understood the effort that it took for me to calm the monster in me. It was only then that I saw the truth of his thoughts: he was sad, but not for Bella. He was regretful, but not because I did it, but because he couldn't be there to help me the way that he had Rosalie. He was worried, not for the outcome of our family, or the suspicion it might bring on us, but for how I would react to her. Because he _knew—somehow—_that I couldn't have left her, and he didn't know what that meant. That was the first time I recognized the little spark of hope that danced vibrantly beneath the others thoughts. At the sight of her in my arms, Carlisle Cullen had hope for his lost and wandering son.

"She's… _important_ to you?" He questioned carefully. I could tell just from the tone of his voice that he was unsure of what my reaction would be to this. I nodded, not really knowing the words to explain how or why.

"I don't understand. Carlisle, I don't even know her, but I _couldn't_ let her go." I looked over at him. His mind was quiet as he waited for me to continue, but his eyes were patient and understanding. "I _tried_. I _did_, but when I thought about her being somewhere where I couldn't go… I _couldn't_ do it."

Immediately, his thoughts drifted to Esme. He remembered the way he'd fought with himself as she lay stretched out, broken on the hospital gurney after her jump. He'd battled a war within himself then, and I caught the distinct flavor of longing from his memories. I didn't understand the correlation between my admission and his memories.

As if on cue, Esme appeared behind us in the doorway. She didn't enter, but I knew she was there immediately. So did Carlisle.

_She's going to be beautiful, Edward._

I snorted a little, but smiled despite myself. She _would_ be. It was too early to tell, really, what she'd look like. It had only been an hour since I'd sunk my teeth into her delicate flesh and chained her to my blackened soul. The venom was working inwardly, and except for beginning to sew her flesh together again, there was nothing to indicate that she was shedding her human nature. But I knew she would be. Her eyes were still darkened and sunk with death, and her body was still soft, but I knew that she would be radiant. Brilliant. _Gorgeous_. I had no doubt. It was as if I could already see her, and I didn't need Alice's gift to do so. I knew what she would look like, and I couldn't help the peculiar tightening in my chest and the fire in my abdomen at the thought of her. She would be glorious.

Esme placed her hand on my shoulder and looked down at her. Her thoughts were a mix of so many things. They swirled in her mind, creating a tumult of emotions. She was worried about her, and wondered if she was suffering. She was elated at having a new daughter, whom she already loved as much as the others, simply because I'd sired her. She was scared at what this would mean for the rest of the family, if we would be suspected. She had hope, hope that perhaps I wouldn't be alone anymore. I turned to her at the fleeting thought, confusion washing over me at it. She startled at the errant thought and immediately it was replaced with a sarcastic, joking kind of regret that we would, once again, need to relocate… and that she'd have to postpone her recent plans for the renovation of the third guest room.

I couldn't help the smile that flitted across my face at her humor. As if her next renovation plans were something to regret out of all this mess. She returned it as we shared our secret.

"What?" she said innocently. "I was really looking forward to redoing that room. I had the pallet all picked out."

We all turned to look at the writhing young woman beside us. She whimpered in pain, and I immediately reached out to smooth my fingers over her cheek delicately, the response almost second nature at this point. It startled me a bit, both how instinctual it felt and the way her skin hummed beneath my fingertips. Behind me, Esme and Carlisle exchanged looks and their thoughts reflected the moment with awe and flourishing joy. I ignored them and focused my attention on the creature in front of me. My chest swelled as I watched her. I ignored another wave of elation from my parents.

Esme touched my shoulder again.

"Perhaps we should move her to one of the guest rooms, Edward? While it might not help her much, I doubt she's as comfortable here as she would be in one of the beds." _And you wouldn't likely want her in hearing range when your brothers and sisters returned._

I agreed, nodding slightly to the woman who'd become my friend, cohort, and mother. I had no idea what Bella would be able to comprehend through the searing pain of her transformation, but I didn't want her feeling guilty over anything that my family had to say about the choices _I'd_ made. She was an unwilling participant in all of this, and she didn't deserve to take on the guilt of her own change. I lifted her carefully into my arms. She wiggled into my chest, placing her head gently against my collarbone. Her body shook slightly with a tremor of pain.

Both Esme and Carlisle went with me as I took her to one of the spare rooms on the second floor. Despite the fact that we'd never entertained a human in our home, the scene was set for it. Everything was ready, giving the illusion of normalcy, just in case. I laid her down on the soft, lavender comforter and she sunk in. For the first time in my life, I regretted not having my own bed in which to put her in. I wondered how it would look to see her curled in the sheets, snuggling in to something that belonged to _me_.

She winced again as another wave of fire passed through her body, but she didn't cry out. I was amazed at her strength, the quiet resolve that she had to have had to remain so still. I remembered the agony that my change had been. I wasn't sure if this was a good or bad sign. Was she internalizing it because it was just too much? I shuddered, hoping not.

I tucked her body under the covers and smoothed them out over her. The action surprised the other two vampires in the room, but it also terrified me. I didn't fully understand the need I had to protect her. She had been just another human, in the grand scheme of things, but even as I thought that, I knew it was a lie. It was a lie to myself, to my family. She was so much more. And now she was my responsibility.

Carlisle placed a tentative hand on my shoulder. His thoughts reflected my own inner musings.

"I know you understand the ramifications of this decision, Edward," he told me softly. "The rest of the family knows that too. I'm sure you understand everything that they fear better than any of us." He was right. He thought of all the times one of my siblings did something that would cause the humans to question us, or become too observant. Too many times I watched as the world around us dissolved into our own personal chaos because of their innate actions. I understood the doubt of our future despite what Alice's gift could offer us, and the way that this particular decision of mine would uproot us once again.

I'd just never been on this end of it before.

Carlisle knew how many times I'd made allowances for them. He saw how many things I'd left at a moment's notice to protect our secret—to protect _each other_. And I'd done it with quiet resolve. Not that anything had been really worth staying for anyway, but still, I'd left. I'd watched. I'd protected.

Somehow, all their mistakes seemed to pale in comparison to the mistake I'd made. I hated myself for what I'd done to them. I hated what I'd allowed to happen, and I owed them everything for what I'd asked them to do for me and what I would yet have to ask them to do. Even though I'd done it for them time and time again, it didn't seem to right what I'd done in return. But most of all, I hated who I was for what I had done to _her_, to the beautiful creature laying before me, suffering for _my_ sins. I'd damned her. I did not deserve their acceptance. I deserved whatever they would throw at me, and I'd take it all on willingly.

Carlisle surprised me by continuing.

"But that doesn't mean that I am angry with you, or that I am disappointed in you. You are my _son_, Edward. She is now my _daughter_. Regardless of how that came to pass, you are both my family. I love you, and I will do everything I can to protect you both."

I looked up at him. In his eyes, I was bowed reverently over her body. I looked like a man begging for redemption. I looked broken, terrified, worn. His words lifted my spirit just a fraction.

"Despite what you think of yourself, you're not living for just you anymore."

He looked poignantly at the girl before me and walked towards the door. Neither he nor Esme said anything aloud, but I choked out a sob at the workings of their minds.

_You've given me another daughter, _Esme beamed.

_And Edward?_ Carlisle thought to me, as he paused at the door, _I'm proud of you. For having the restraint necessary to turn her rather than simply taking her life. For thinking only of her. And most of all, for following your heart—for once._

With that, they left me gripping the bed next to me with such force that my fingers split the mattress and tore through the lilac silk duvet. I'd experienced their abundant love and compassion my whole existence, but now it felt especially benevolent. My father, who, though he had not provided his DNA for my initial creation, had chosen me, and was now giving his love and blessing for that act which I found to be my most heinous crime. And Esme, whose love and motherly pride shown through even the darkest of storms, was sharing with me her joy over my changing this girl.

I was thankful for the act of grace from my parents, but confused. Because I never would think I deserved it. I believed that this would be the worst thing that I could ever do. The act of changing her was the most vile, selfish thing I could have ever done. No amount of grace or love could redeem me. But they offered it willingly. Just as they always did when one of us made a mistake. Just like our _parents_.

I focused my attention back on the angel before me and bowed my head over her. I knew my siblings would have much to say about my acts. But it was not them whose assistance I required. I folded my hands in front of me like a pious church steward.

"Dear Lord," I whispered, hoping I was doing it right. I'd never really prayed outside of my human life, and even then, it was not reverent and diligent—just a boy going through the motions for the benefit of his mother. But then, bowed over the young woman who had changed me as much as I'd changed her, I closed my eyes tightly. I hoped that my prayers would not be cast down immediately, simply because it was me praying them. I used all of my strength to find the words I begged the angels to take upward.

"If you are able to hear the prayers of someone as lowly as me, I have one request. I deserve the depths of hell, and no amount of penance will give me relief. I _know_ that. But she, Bella, has done _nothing_ wrong. Please think of her, while you are up in your heaven, and remember her. It is _my_ sins that she suffers for now, and if I ever redeem anything, it should be her soul that receives my penance. I will do _everything_ I can to give her back her soul."

I didn't understand the way that she affected me. I couldn't explain the way that she called to me, even as her voice and mind were silent. I didn't understand why, when I was next to her, and when she was in my arms, I suddenly felt whole. Something in me had changed, just being in her presence. When the call of her blood was gone, there was still a need to be with her, guide her, protect her. I felt it deep in my belly, reverberating through me like my own blood used to.

She whimpered and sighed uncomfortably. Another wave of pain flashed over her face like she was inhabited by a demon. I snorted at that. That's exactly what it was. And I _felt_ it—all of it, I felt it too.

I suddenly felt ill at the notion that she would realize that, realize that I was a demon myself. She would wake, and she would look into my eyes, and she would recognize the monster that I was. My throat closed as an involuntary sob ripped out of my body. How could I survive knowing she would hate me? How could I go on when the only one I now lived for wanted nothing to do with me?

The truth of my words shocked me. I shivered with the knowledge that Bella had so quickly shifted my focus. I was no longer a solitary wanderer, lost with no purpose. Now, I could teach and guide. I could help redeem.

I only hoped she'd give me long enough to explain.

"Isabella," I whispered, leaning down close to her head. I ran my hands over her forehead and down her cheek. She whimpered and nuzzled into my hand as if I offered her relief from the torture that she was experiencing. I rubbed my thumb over her cheekbone.

"I'm sorry," I continued, not sure how much she could understand but unwilling to let my words go unsaid. "Bella, I'm sorry, _so_ sorry. It will pass. The fire will pass, and then you will be new and whole. I am so sorry that I did this to you, but I promise, I will never leave you."

It was more evidence of my selfish nature, because more than she would likely need me, I needed her. I needed her forgiveness. I needed _her_. She was a piece of me, as surely as my venom now ran through her veins. I couldn't _be_ without her.

She moaned in painful exhaustion and reached for me. Her hands wrapped up in my shirt as she pulled me close to her, the strength that she managed surprising me. I wrapped my arms around her and she breathed my name in a strained, tiny voice until she was gasping from the toll the change was taking on her. A few solitary tears slid down her cheeks, likely the last ones she'd be able to cry.

I held her for a long time, rocking her gently and murmuring promises of relief into her hair. She never stilled. The fire would not allow her relief. At this point, she'd never have the restfulness of sleep. She'd never know the joy of waking in the morning, or the protective comfort of snuggling into a bed.

Of three things I was sure:

Firstly, that I would never be able to go on, trudging through this world as if she'd never existed. I was foolish so many months ago when I thought I could ignore her presence. Even then, I should have known that it was not possible.

Secondly, that a part of her, and I didn't know how large a part of her it was, _knew_ me. She'd called my name and looked at me as if she could see into the very depths of my being.

And third, and most importantly, I had made a secret promise to myself at some point to never fail her. No matter what, I vowed never to let her down, to give her everything that she would allow me. There was so much that I owed her—so much I had to give to make up for my transgressions. So much I _wanted_ her to have from me. I only hoped she'd accept it.

Beneath us, the door unlatched. Four vampires came in, each of them lost in their own thoughts—of worry, and trepidation, and accomplishment, and delight, and seething hatred. I inhaled deeply the scent of the hybrid before me, sweet and sensuous and delicate—warmth and honey and lily of the valley. Even in her state of suspension, she smelled like salvation. It gave me the courage to face them.

I uncoiled her from my arms and placed a soft kiss to her burning temple, whispering my promise to return. With one final look, I stepped out into the hall and went down the stairs. Every step was for her.

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**End Notes:** Thank you for reading. Leave me some love in the form of a review, if you are so inclined.

And remember, Edward's self-understanding of his feelings for Bella will take time. Obviously, the fact that he knows that she has changed him is the first step—he just doesn't recognize it for what it really is. It's like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. He needs time to process this. Plus, He's stubborn. =)


	4. Chapter 4: No

**Author's Note:** Short one this time. =)

Just wanted to say "Thank you" to my marvelous readers and reviewers, and that I am also on Twilighted (DOT) net, in case you'd rather read and review there. The name's La_Tua_Cantante_83. (Underscores rather than periods)

The song for this chapter is: "White Flag," by Dido.

**Disclaimer:** All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 4: **_**No…**_

They were all waiting for me, positioned around the dining table we never used for anything but this. My feet hit the landing with a soft thud that only our kind would be able to hear. I could feel the emotions rolling off of all of them as clearly as if I possessed Jaspers gift. The mix of trepidations for our impending discussion was nearly overwhelming combined with their thoughts. I took a moment to scan their faces, one by one, as their questions, concerns, and opinions hit me like a tidal wave.

Above me, the little girl whimpered in desperate pain and my heart clenched in my chest to the point of staggering. Before me, six sets of honey-gold eyes watched me very carefully.

Even without my ability, I would have anticipated all that they were experiencing. Their concerns and accusations and fears were warranted. Inside my head, their rapid thoughts swirled in a vicious pool. It was not as intense as when I'd first brought her home, but the fear and excitement of our unpredictable future simmered around me. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply.

They all simply watched me, waiting. As much as I knew I needed to give them answers, or calm their fears, or apologize, I was rooted to the spot. I had no words to offer them, only more apologies, more guilt. And that's not what they needed. It was Emmet who spoke first, breaking the outside silence in the room.

"I think we got you covered, Edward," he said quietly. I'd never heard such somberness come out of him before. My brother was always merry, but his eyes were sorrowful and sympathetic, and at that moment I was truly grateful for more than just the fact that he had gone to cover the evidence of my disastrous homecoming.

To reassure me of the fact that we were in no immediate danger, he let me into the memories of them visiting the sight of Isabella's accident. He thought of the scene, and the image of it again, fresh in my brother's mind as I left it, was enough to send me reeling. They all recalled the way it had looked when they arrived. I choked back a gasp at the sight of Isabella's deathbed and nodded in appreciation for what he and the others were showing me.

They'd done a _meticulous_ job of covering for me.

Upon arriving at the scene, they'd found it almost as I'd left it. Bella's truck was scorched from the fire that burned out nearby, the flames eating away at the rusted metal and flaking paint. By then, the fire had died somewhat, as it grew tired of things to devour. Off to one side, the semi truck was perched precariously, as if suspended in action. The force of its leaving the roadway had been great, leaving a large path of destruction in its wake. The trucker's body was also in the same spot, lodged haphazardly half-in and half-out of his truck cab, hanging loosely from the seatbelt that failed to save his life. It was not gruesome as you might expect, though the truck was turned and tilted unexpectedly, so that the man was leaning forward. The door was flung open from the force of the crash, and he looked peaceful. Restful.

I hadn't taken the scene in fully while I was there, too preoccupied with the mouthwatering scent of her blood and the act of turning her like me, but now seeing it through their eyes anew, I was able to piece together what had happened to bring her to me. The truck looked like it had left the roadside easily, continuing on in a straight path as if the road simply didn't turn toward the east, as if it just kept going and the driver was none the wiser. It crashed through the trees at the curve, taking several down with it until one large oak was able to stop the barreling weight of it.

But not before clipping the red Chevy truck that just happened to be coming towards it down the quiet deserted highway.

I shuddered at the fact that should she have been just a _moment_ later on her route, she'd have been missed. Had she have bent down to tie her shoes quickly before she'd left, or gotten stuck at a red light, she'd never have been dying there for me to find. From the trajectory, it looked as if a mere second or two would have been enough to change the course of our lives. As it was, the front of the rogue semi likely clipped the front of her truck and sent her spinning out of control. Her truck was thrown into the trees as well. But while the truck driver likely was dead upon impact, Bella hadn't been.

Upstairs, I could hear her whimper again with another fresh new wave of pain. Her breathing was rapid, and the air hissed out through her clenched teeth as she tried to ride it out. My eyes pricked at the knowledge that just one moment of delay might have saved her this pain. Right now, she could have been at home, safely sleeping under her comforter, rather than writhing in pain in our bed here_. But then I wouldn't have her with me_. The thought sent a spasm through my body that attracted my family's attention. Their minds quickly questioned my reaction.

I sighed and shook my head, refocusing on the images of the accident, piecing together the physical evidence of the scene. My vivid visualization of what must have occurred made me cringe as it played out with perfect clarity in my mind.

"We think he had a heart attack," Alice said softly of the truck driver. Her mind flitted to an image of her and Jasper looking over his still, lifeless body. His face was serene and empty. They left him be at the scene, not disturbing his body any more than they had too.

But with Bella's wreckage, they'd certainly covered for me.

The old, rusted red vehicle was no match for their vampiric strength. Emmett and Jasper ripped it apart until it was in tiny pieces, only discernible to someone who knew what the metal mass had been previously. I watched each of their memories play out the scene, each from a different angle and viewpoint. Emmett's large hands tore the truck pieces away from the whole like it was nothing more than tissue paper. He piled them into an ever-increasing mound while Jasper blurred by, picking up the pieces of it that were scattered due to the impact of accident.

Alice and Rose went to work at the same time, turning the earth over where her body lay bleeding. With their hands and their impressive speed, they mixed it all, the blood and tears and mud. Where trees were broken from her vehicle's sudden departure from the highway, they uprooted them and tossed them around to look like a they had been torn up by the momentum and mass of the truck's trailer, toppled over merely from the semi's course. They repositioned the massive semi so that its trajectory was altered to fit their work.

Then, together, they'd moved all the parts of the Chevy, scattering pieces of it everywhere within a fifteen mile radius. Each of them took some and they ran opposite directions. To the outside observer, there was no real proof that she'd been there. Perhaps if they tested the soil, or if they'd missed anything that had belonged to her, they might find evidence of her being there. But they wouldn't even try.

There was no one who'd seen her veer off the road. There was no one left alive who'd remember that her truck had lie there burning. Unless my siblings had missed a crucial piece, they'd never know _to_ look for her there. But I knew that they wouldn't have missed anything. Their vampire senses would catch every bit of metal, every drop of blood. They would smell the tiny pieces of rubber that would have come off of her vehicle, each metallic, rusty nut or bolt, and the gasoline that would have leaked from the piece of junk that her father let her drive around in. They'd know exactly the way to reinvent the scene so that it looked like a semi driver had simply run off the road, dying without occurrence to anyone else. They'd justified it all, even though it was all a lie.

And tomorrow, it would rain—as it always did—washing away any evidence that she'd bled, and suffered, and pleaded with her eyes as silent tears fell over her temple. Her blood would melt into the earth, where it had been churned into the ground there, and no one would even know that beneath it was evidence of life that had once been inside Bella, her DNA.

In the end, it looked as if Bella had never been there. The thought alone made me whimper. I'd simply made her disappear.

Again, I heard her moan softly. I wanted to run to her, cradle her in my arms until the burning stopped. Though I was her murderer and deserved to be banished, I wanted to hold her and tell her that I wouldn't let anything else hurt her ever again. I wanted to whisper to her that I would protect her and make her smile. I didn't deserve it for all the pain that I'd already caused, but I so _badly _wanted it. The tragic fact that she seemed to vanish off the face of the earth nearly shattered my resolve to stay and talk to my family—I even took a step to the staircase again—but my father's thoughts interrupted my retreat.

Carlisle cleared his throat, and reached out to me with his mind.

_Let's sit, son. We have much that we need to go over. For her sake as much as ours._

He motioned for us all to sit down, and as if we did this daily for our breakfast or dinner, we all took our places at the table, albeit I, reluctantly. My thoughts were dark and guilty as I continued to muse the fact that in one fell swoop, I'd ruined Bella's life—taken everything away from her—and possibly my family's, and that of her father's as well. Imagine never knowing what happened to your only child, never knowing if you'd ever find her. He never _would_.

And my family? They'd certainly be upturned by this. They'd have to leave, leave the home they'd happily made for the last three years. It was where we were the happiest, and now, before they were really ready to move on, I'd force them to.

"Tell me," Carlisle said, breaking through my thoughts. "Were you able to hide it well?"

They all nodded, each of them reliving the moments again in their heads. I turned away at the scene that played out for me in four different minds. It hurt to watch the way that she was erased so easily from the world.

"Yeah, it's all taken care of. You can't even tell that she was there," Emmett said. "Now all we have to do is hope it rains."

Carlisle nodded as he pondered the impact this would have. He was relieved that they'd managed to get it done before the police or firefighters could arrive, but wondered to himself if it wasn't dishonest. It was a lie. He looked at Alice. Though he didn't speak out loud, she knew what he was asking with his silent thoughts.

"It will be_ fine_," she said reassuringly. "They won't suspect any foul play. There's nothing to indicate that her truck was even there. Unless they randomly go digging. Which they won't."

She saw the authorities there, looking at the accident sight. Without the large old truck or obvious evidence of Bella being involved, they'd never suspect that she was. They'd never try to dig up information where they had no reason to, no proof that she'd ever really been there in the first place. They would walk over the spot where she lay, bleeding out, and they would not know that she had ever been there. They would never know that I had been.

I didn't know how long it would take for them to realize that Bella was not coming home, but it would not be now. Right now, on that curve on the 101, they were there, musing to themselves about the sadness of the accident, of another life lost. They would mourn for the truck driver and his family, but not for Bella and hers. Because they would not ever think to do so. A day, two, maybe even three—that's how long it would take them to search for the girl that had not come home.

"Good," Carlisle said hesitantly, still distracted with all that was to come from my decisions—it was not, in fact _good, _but he didn't have another word to describe it. In his head, he was making plans to pack up and move out as soon as possible. His quick thoughts calculated the necessary things we couldn't leave, the things we'd need to pack away, and the calls he'd need to make to do it. He went through the long list of homes that we possessed, and wondered where the best place to go would be. "We will need to move on this as soon as possible."

I was filled with a sudden sense of dread at the idea of leaving Forks, though even with the same breath I knew how irrational it was. My throat closed off when I considered leaving this place that I'd only just returned to. This was home, not just because it was where the Cullens were, though that had been part of it. This was where I'd seen _her _for the first time. Where we were all happiest, and I didn't want to go yet.

More than that, though, that held me in my spot and caused dread to rip through me, was the idea that if we went, I didn't know if Bella would ever forgive me. Upstairs, she was literally _dying, _and I had caused it. _I_ had caused the agony and the fire, and I did not want to cause any more suffering. If she were to wake, a surprised newborn in an unfamiliar place, would she ever see me as anything other than the terrible creature that brought her there to that dark place? _She would never care to know me_. The pain of that thought coursed through my body like a bolt of lightning, burning and destroying. If I'd killed her, and took her away from her home, could she ever see me as anything other than the devil whose purpose was to rid her of everything she cherished? Would she ever be able to see past that monstrous side of me, to the one who so _badly_ wanted to protect her?

Who so _badly_ wanted to give her _everything_ she wanted.

_What if she left me?_

The errant thoughts made me stagger and sway with nausea, and despite my perfect balance, I gripped forcefully onto the table and held tight, until it began to disintegrate into my palms. The wood fragmented into my hand and I stared at it like it was a holy relic, my link to my salvation. My link to the one writhing above me. The physical, shattered pieces from Esme's antique dining table grounded me as I sat there, too afraid to move, afraid that I'd already lost her.

"_No_," I whispered. Seven sets of eyes focused on me, ceasing all the chattering that had been going on.

I heard the confused thoughts, the questioning ones. I heard the hesitation that Esme had, the wonder in her inner voice that was sad and worried and cautious for us all. I heard the warning that Jasper gave at my interruption, sensing what I was feeling before I voiced it. I heard the smug tenor of Alice's thoughts because she knew why I hesitated, and the way that Carlisle watched me with concern, waiting for explanation. And I heard the angry, violent thoughts that Rosalie was sending at me, her furry attempting to mask how fearful she really was by all of it.

"We can't go," I said quietly, answering all their questioning glances in one breath.

"Are you _insane_?" Rose spat, rising from her chair. "It is not enough that we were in danger with the mere act of changing her? Now, you feel like being masochistic and moronic and sticking around to see if they'll _discover_ us? This isn't a _game_! Edward, I swear, you've really lost it. He's _lost _it! All that mindreading has finally made him go completely fucking crazy!"

"They _won't_," I said simply, trying placate her as much as I could. "No one will suspect a thing. Emmett said himself, it was as if she wasn't even there. Why would they suspect we had anything to do with it?"

She seethed for a moment, and then looked to Carlisle for support, merely pointing at me and showing her frustration clearly on her face.

They continued to watch me, all of them sure that Bella's change had done something to my vampire mind. We'd never stayed after something like this had happened, but I knew I could not take everything away from Bella like this. I'd taken as much as I could, greedily ended her life for the sake of my own. I would not take away her home, the familiarity of the place she knew. As if on cue, she mewed above our heads in her state of suffering. I felt as if I were suffering with her.

I knew the dangers. All of them presented themselves in nice little packages before me, mocking me. I was risking a great deal by choosing to stay with her so close, but I also knew that there was no longer any options for me. If we left, and she decided that I'd done too much to ruin her life—if she_ left_ me because of that one act—I knew that I would never survive it. I was willing to fight for her to stay here. If she decided later that it wasn't what she wanted, then we'd leave. But I couldn't take away another choice from her.

Carlisle was begging me for the answers that he sought. They all needed me to explain.

"I just..." I started, stumbling over my words with an uncharacteristic clumsiness. "I just think that if we left now, we'd draw to much suspicion."

I hazarded a glance at my family, though I could see them all clearly in my mind.

"What the _hell_ are you talking about," Rose said, rolling her eyes.

"Yes, Edward. Please let us know what you are thinking." I looked up to see my father watching me warily. He clearly didn't understand where my thoughts were. I was not about to tell them the truth behind my words: that I needed to stay here for my own sake, that I needed to stay so she might someday forgive me for all that I'd already done to her. I didn't think they'd see the logic in that defense, and the guilt of this additional selfish act was wearing on me. Though I had a multitude of other good reasons for us to stay put, the one that mattered most to me was obviously the most self-centered.

"Well, Alice said that they won't suspect foul play, right? But if we go—suddenly disappear—won't they suspect _that_? Won't they wonder why the strange, quiet Cullens left without any incident? At the exact same time that Isabella Swan just _happened_ to disappear too? Carlisle, we'll be incriminating ourselves just by leaving."

Rose snorted. I could feel the way that their moods shifted to my words. Esme saw the logic in my reasoning, as well as Emmett. It hadn't taken much to sway them, as both of them regretted us having to leave in the first place and hoped upon hope to stay. Neither of them relished the idea of starting over again in a new lie. I found the irony in that.

It surprised me that Jasper was the first one to speak and question my theory.

"Even if they suspected us, they would never be able to track us down."

"Maybe. But we don't _know _that. Don't you think, if they _do _suspect us, they'll have cops on the lookout for us all over the place, just waiting for someone of our odd description to come? We don't exactly blend in. And we'd be traveling with a newborn—with _Bella_, the girl who they are looking for. That alone would be dangerous. It would be hard to guide her well if we are on the run. We might be vampires, but we'd draw unnecessary attention to ourselves. I know we don't want that."

Jasper's mind drifted to his experience with the newborns of the South. He knew how dangerous it could be in dealing with them, and it was always better to do so on familiar ground. He imagined that it would be difficult to travel with this newborn girl. She'd be strong, and volatile—possibly angry. She would possibly draw attention to us just from her instability, not just from humans, but from other, very powerful vampires. He waivered.

"Alice would see anything coming our way," I added, looking at Alice for her help. She met my eyes and nodded emphatically.

"Definitely! I'd be able to give us plenty of time if it was needed. But it _won't_ be," she said surely. I couldn't help the small smile that crept up on me from her support. Never once had I worried about her being on my side.

_You're making the right decision, Edward. She'll be better off here. Keep going._

Alice's inner thought was all the assurance I needed to try and persuade them all to agree with me. I rarely doubted my sister.

"Edward, I don't know," Carlisle said, the hesitation still prevalent in his voice and thoughts. We'd always left in the past. There was never a _reason _for us to stay. Carlisle was concerned for the safety of his _entire_ family—his wife and his children. He wasn't sure the reasoning behind staying, and I'd given nothing to indicate to him anything that we'd be unable to overcome. We could disappear—we were vampires, _after all_—and he wasn't sure that their search would be as far reaching as we could go. He even contemplated our returning to Europe, though that was wrought with new dangers altogether. There was no reason in his mind to really to stay here. But to me, _she_ was the reason. I couldn't take any more _away_ from her, not when I felt this insatiable need to give her the world.

"Edward, I don't know..." he started, and I could tell that he was leaning towards the side of caution, the one that would cause us to leave and deal with the lesser consequences of the later. And it was Carlisle that truly mattered, not only because he was the one whose opinion mattered to _me_, but because his opinion mattered to _all_ of us. All of us knew that if Carlisle wanted us to go, we would, and nothing I could say would matter. It was him that I was _really _trying to convince.

He searched my eyes, and held them for the longest time. I didn't look away as he tried to understand, his eyes swirling with his unvoiced questions, fear, and sadness.

_Why, son? Tell me why. _His beseeching was warm, as he ached to understand why this was so important to me. So that he could give it to me.

"I'm afraid," I whispered. He nodded slightly and sighed, accepting it for face value. He didn't wonder why, or what the stimulus for my fear was. In truth, he could have taken the statement any number of ways. I didn't offer any more of an explanation. For a long while he continued to watch me, trying to justify his family staying in the wake of my decision. He knew that I was right on many counts, but he was worried.

"Carlisle, I know that I've made a mess of things, but I don't think it's the right thing to do to just leave it this way. Is it right to just leave the disaster behind us? You heard them," I said pointing to my siblings. "They basically made it so that Bella disappeared. What about all the questions left unanswered? What about _Charlie Swan_?"

Carlisle's eyes met mine, and instantly he was engulfed by the sadness that he felt for this man. He imagined him, the proverbial bachelor, now suddenly devoid of his most cherished companionship. First his wife, now his daughter. The hurt that Carlisle felt for this man was intense, as he remembered how excited Charlie had been when Isabella was due to move in with him. He beamed out of his pride and excitement at the idea of having his only daughter _finally _in his life. He'd spent weeks talking about her arrival and how beautiful and smart she was, to anyone who would listen. And Carlisle _often_ listened. His heart panged at the knowledge of how he would suffer. Today, tomorrow, for weeks, not knowing where she was or if she'd ever return to him. I shared his regret, as did all my siblings and my mother, with the realization that Charlie Swan had lost _her_, the most important thing in his world. This weighed heavily on my father and mother, as they considered how broken he would be.

"She wouldn't be able to see him anyway," he reasoned with shaking voice, though I saw how much even that statement pained him.

"No," I said, "but _we _would. _We'd_ be able to watch him—Alice, you, me, Esme—make sure that he wouldn't do anything to hurt himself. We could be as supportive as possible, without interfering directly. And _someday_, maybe once she was controlled, she'd be able to see him again. Give him closure and happiness again, even if it's just to know she's alive."

He was looking down at the table warily. All of our focuses were on him, waiting for him to make a decision. The others were already convinced—all but Rosalie, that is. She was still silently seething at me, telling me how stupid and pathetic I was for making this so hard on him. But even she waited for his response. He still fought with himself, even though he could see the merit in what I said. And he so badly hated the idea of leaving poor chief Swan in the wake of our vampire nature, grieving his loss.

To me, however, all those reasons paled in comparison to having Isabella possibly forgive me. I mourned the loss of her by all of her friends and her father, but they would have lost her regardless. My guilt for changing her and taking away her soul would forever be a stain on my life, visible to everyone I met. I would not relent it as long as I walked this earth, but even the mere possibility of her forgiveness gave me hope that it was not all for loss, perhaps it would lessen the agonizing pain over time. Her forgiveness of me was not a given, but it was sure as hell a lot better possibility if I didn't take this away from her too. That was the only reason I needed to stay, even if it was a mere glimmer of hope that I held on to.

"We couldn't give him that if we left, if we were to go and take her with us. Because we _would _be suspected, and we could never come back again with her. Not while Charlie was alive. We'd never be able to return here together."

I caught everyone's attention with that, and I saw the truth that would keep us firmly rooted in Forks, Washington.

"We'd have to split up."

It stood alone as its own argument, of course. It jolted everyone and made them sigh and gasp and shake. Esme's thoughts turned frantic, as she let out a choked sob. Alice bowed her head and Jasper gripped her hand under the table. Emmett sighed in frustration and longing. I listened as Carlisle, too, faltered upon hearing my words, feeling the same desolation that he had imagined for Charlie Swan not moments before. Sadness and regret flooded their thoughts at the idea of being separated again.

_No..._

Rose's quiet, pitiful thought surprised me, though I gave no indication of it outwardly. Her strength broke for only a moment, but I saw how much this idea hurt her. As angry as I'd made her, she suffered at the idea of our family being apart as much as any of them would.

For a brief, fleeting moment, I saw the desolation that she'd felt at my abrupt departure. She saw the way that I'd left an empty spot in our otherwise complete family. She constantly felt the hole that I'd left gaping in my absence, and the way that my impending return had brought life back to everyone: Esme, Carlisle, Alice... _Emmett_. In that moment, I saw how desperately she clung to our little family, our strange group on non-blood relations. She was happiest while we were home, while we were _together_. And as angry as I made her, and as much as I annoyed her with my very presence, she also enjoyed our intellectual tension with each other—I was undoubtedly her brother. Through and through.

Rosalie didn't want us to separate any more than I did. Or Esme did. Or Carlisle.

Carlisle looked at me, the pain of his decision weighing heavily on him for the worry he would feel because of it, but with resignation that it was the way it needed to be. For all of us. He knew that.

"You're right, Edward," he said, bowing his head. "We—_I_—need to be here to watch over Charlie Swan. Bella was his only daughter. I need to make myself available to him, if nothing more than that. Losing your child is something no man should _ever _have to face."

His eyes rose to meet mine, and he held my gaze pointedly as they churned with the emotion that he was holding on to. With what he was telling me with only his eyes.

I nodded, as they all turned to look at Rose. They all knew that she was the most unhappy about what I'd done, and they all expected her to tear me up again for doing this to all of us. But none of them knew what I did: that the thought of losing all of us was enough to halt her arguments. For now.

With apprehension and a resigned sigh, she nodded. It only lasted a second before she raised her eyes to mine again and pointed her finger in my face with mock menace.

"But don't think that I won't be watching you, Edward! You'd _better_ control her! I'm not going to deal with her newborn tendencies, so don't ask! You're on your own with her. You started this mess, now you deal with it."

I noticed the slight smirk that flitted briefly in the corner of her mouth before she stomped away into another part of the house.

Everyone sighed, content with the decision that had apparently been reached. They all seemed relieved.

We would stay in Forks, and we would protect Bella there as long as we could. It was the first step of many to my gaining her forgiveness.

Emmett reached lazily above his head and leaned back in his chair, smiling slightly.

"So, _now _what?"

"Now, we wait," Carlisle said. "It will be a few days before Bella wakes up, and until she does, we don't know what she'll be like. Every newborn is different. Until then, we'll continue on as normal, for the most part. We don't want to act out of turn and draw unnecessary attention for any reason. I'll keep an eye on Charlie. I'm sure it won't be long before he's worrying about what's happened to her. You all go on about your business as usual, too. We'll all need to be watchful."

We all looked at the table, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I couldn't find it in me to feel guilty about persuading them to stay. Not anymore. All the reasons I'd given were valid and just, and I wanted to be there for Charlie, and to stay with my family. There was no untruth in that. It was simply that staying here for_ Bella_ was the most important reason of all.

"If you've covered as well as you say, it will likely be a day or two before the community is concerned about Isabella. We have to be mindful of the fact that they will believe her to be missing. Keep up appearences."

"How are we going to control her?" Jasper asked, concerned about how we would continue on with our lives as though nothing happened when we had a newborn to contain. My father's eyes sought mine out again.

"That will be Edward's job. No one knows he was coming home, so his absence at school won't be missed. You'll be responsible for her, son."

I nodded, suddenly and unexpectedly elated. I'd known all along that I would need to take care of her, but to hear it come out of my father's mouth was like having been given a gift, one that I so badly wanted. I felt the trust that he offered me, his forgiveness and acceptance.

"And I'll be here too," my mother said beside him. Her eyes were warm and sparkling, and she nearly leapt with the joy of being able to assist me in the watch of her newest daughter. I smiled at her offer.

"Don't forget me!" Alice said, unable to be left out of the loop. "Bella and I are going to be best friends!" She sighed wistfully as she remembered all the times she'd wanted to approach her but had held back only because it was the necessary thing to do for our kind. All along, she'd felt a pull towards her too.

For the first time since we'd sat down as a family, Carlisle smiled. He watched Alice and Esme talk happily about Bella and the memories Alice had of her from school, and he felt something akin to happiness. I furrowed my brow as we stood there. He saw this as an opportunity, not only for me, as he'd hinted at earlier in his thoughts, but for all of them.

_She'll complete us..._

Emmett left to go find Rose, hoping to distract her from her sulking with some "alone time." Carlisle excused himself to go to his study, eager to pour over his notes of the transformations in his past. He was hoping that he might be able to get some evidence from his notes that different venoms from different vampires could produce different transformation results. Jasper meandered off on his own, going over his own memories of newborns. He wanted to be able to help me as best as he could if I needed him. I was grateful.

Alice was bouncing in front of me before I even really realized what was going on, her thoughts excited over her new sister and the bond that she saw them sharing. I smiled a little.

"Edward, I'd like to give Bella a bath," Alice asked, almost tentatively, despite her bouncy joy. Her mind flooded with images of Bella, caked in her own dried blood and dirt. She thought of the way the water would rinse away all of the grime from her smooth skin, and she hoped that in doing so, she might be able to distract her from the burning or give her some temporary comfort.

I sighed, and nodded. I knew she'd be careful with her, but I didn't want to leave her. I also knew, though, that I couldn't stay and listen to their thoughts as they bathed her. The idea alone sent a shiver of anticipation running through me body. Alice smiled and nudged me playfully.

"You go. Take Jasper and hunt. Esme and I will take care of her."

I looked up at the ceiling where I knew she lay above me, suffering in her quiet kind of pain. Throughout our discussion, I could hear her up there, her quiet moans permeating my aching heart as I desperately tried to convince them to say. For her. I'd purposefully tried to ignore the way her breathing hitched, and the way that she quietly shuddered through the burning. My chest constricted painfully at the thought of leaving her, even for a short time, even though I knew nothing would hurt her worse than I had.

"Don't worry," she said. "You won't be gone long." An image of me hurrying Jasper along and taking my fill quickly flashed through her mind. She smirked at how ridiculously eager I looked to return.

She had a point, of course. I knew I would not be able to leave her again before she woke, and I needed the distraction for a little while. And of course, I didn't know how safe it was for me to be able to read their thoughts while they washed the dirt and blood off her soft, whimpering body.

I sighed, called for Jasper, and wandered off into the woods, searching for "distractions."

* * *

An hour and a half later, I was seated beside her, watching the quiet, greedy transformation.

Alice and Esme had cleaned her up, gently washing the grime from her tiny body. They'd dressed her in a soft cotton dress that did little to hide the long graceful curves of her body as it draped over her. Her hair was drying fanned across the pillows, natural, soft mahogany waves forming in it. Despite how badly the accident had hurt her, she looked, now, barely scathed—the venom was mending her outside wounds quickly, and was already pulling together the separated pieces of her flesh so that they were dimpled and puckered like long-forgotten scars. Her skin was dewy and warm as I trailed my fingers up and down her arms with the lightest of touches. I marveled at the way that her skin reacted to me, goose bumps spackled all over her arms where my fingers had been.

Without the dried blood on her, she looked flawless. Even before the change transformed her into indestructible beauty, she was lovely, almost sparkling in her brilliance. He forehead crinkled in her quiet toleration of the pain, her soft, full lips turning down occasionally when a wave of it became too much, letting out a muffled, strained whimper. But she never screamed. If it weren't for the fact that she'd whimper or moan, I'd think she was sleeping. My suffering Sleeping Beauty.

I ran my fingers over her forehead where her brow pinched together, only to watch it soften for a moment. I swept my fingers over her cheekbone and her jaw, over across her closed eyelids, and down the bridge of her perfect nose. My fingers stroked over her lips, and she opened them for me, taking in a sharp intake of breath and then letting it go, warm and whisper soft over me. My body reacted to the intimacy of it, as I felt the moist air move out of her lungs and coat my fingertips.

"I'm sorry," I told her again, for what was likely the thousandth time. "I'm sorry that you're hurting right now. You have no idea how much I wish I could take that away from you. I would suffer in your place if I could."

I listened for a while to the quiet, labored breathing beside me. She was reacting so well to it all that I was frightened.

"I want you to know that we're staying in Forks. I hope that will make this a little better, at least. You can't see your father right away, but maybe someday, you'll be able to. I promise, I'll try, okay? I'll do everything I can to make sure that is possible. Please...just..._don't leave me_."

I was begging. I was hoping. I was praying.

I held her hand, feeling the heartbeat that would soon grow silent through her body. I brought my lips to the soft, translucent skin there, feeling the hum that I'd grown to need vibrating through my lips.

"Please don't leave me," I whispered again into her knuckles, hoping that she could hear me through the smoldering heat.

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**End Note:** Thanks for reading. Much love to my hubby, who actually sat down with me to reenact the trajectory of the accident with our toddlers Hotwheels. Gotta love that, right? I think I'll keep him.

If you get the chance, leave me a little note. It's as easy as pie…simply click that little button at the bottom of the page! Hugs and kisses.


	5. Chapter 5: Burning Questions

**Author's Note:** "Forgive me, reader, for I have sinned. It's been three weeks since my last update."

I feel like I need to do penance for the delay of this chapter for you guys. I was... unsure. Even yesterday, I wasn't really fully in love with this chapter, and then today, it clicked. This is how it works for me, which is why I won't commit to an update schedule. Sorry about that. I wish I was one of those amazing writers, like Itzmegan73 or Sebastien Robichaud, who can crank out absolutely AMAZING things, and update every week (BTW, if you aren't reading their stuff... you should be, cause I'm not exaggerating to say they are like clockwork and still blow me away...) Anyway,

I'm TRULY sorry for making you wait so long. I needed this chapter to be perfect, and I wasn't there for a long, long time. I hope it meets everyone's expectations...

For all of you who have been asking where this story is going, first of all, thanks for having the enthusiasm to want to know. That makes me think I'm doing something right.

Second of all... I'm not going to tell you. Where is the fun in that? But I will tell you, their story is just beginning. Laid out right now, I have about 28 chapters... and that's right now. Expect lots of twists and turns, but not nearly as much angst as Best Laid Plans.

A few tidbits for all of you antsy readers: There _will_ be a happily-ever-after. I love me some Bella and Edward. I don't do sad stuff, only HEAs. That's how I roll.

AND, if you donated to MsKathy's Haitian Relief thingy way back when, there was an exclusive prologue in there that gave a glimpse into our dynamic duos future. If you didn't read it, I'm in there. Check it out to get a little sneak peak. If you didn't have a chance to get in on that wonderful event, don't worry. You'll see the same scene, you'll just have to wait for it. =)

And yes... you heard right. They are a dynamic duo. But that's all you'll get out of me. =)

Anyway, thanks again to everyone taking the time to read, review, add to favorites, ect. Your love and support are my rock, my wind beneath my wings, ect.

**This chapter's song** (picked by non-other than my marvelous hubby): **Bring Me to Life**, by Evanescence. It's pretty much perfect.

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 5: Burning Questions**

Two days. Seven hours. Fifty-one minutes. Three seconds.

That is how long Isabella Marie Swan burned. The fire did not destroy her body in the usual sense. It did not melt her flesh and leave it charred, purging it from her bone, but rather turned it into marble. It was a conundrum for me. I sat beside her as it consumed her, hoping that it would finish her so that she no longer suffered, while at the same time, praying that it would save her. That it would save _me, _by making her _like_ me.

Those more-than-two-less-than-three days were some of the most agonizing of my life. Though I barely knew this little girl from Phoenix, I felt every tremor that ran through her body as if it were my own. Each murmur of pain that crept out of her mouth was enough to bring me to my knees. Each strained whisper of my name on her lips, or Alice's name, or even Carlisle's, was like a stab to my heart. I felt her suffering as poignantly as if it was my own transformation again.

I would not understand it until later why this was.

I did all I could to try to help her through it. She'd cry out in the night, when the rest of the world was sleeping, and I'd hum promises to her. I told her that she was beautiful, and that soon she would feel no more pain. It proved to be one of the quickest transformations that Carlisle had ever seen, in the end. Though Alice couldn't get a clear picture as to when she would be complete, we could tell it was sometime midmorning, and it was raining. It wasn't exactly like you could predict the day based on those things alone. It rained nearly every morning in Forks.

My siblings all went to school on Monday, and Carlisle to work. I sat beside her, holding her hand and telling her about our lives. She'd been burning for 30 hours.

"I don't know if you can hear me," I told her, likely for the hundredth time since I'd bitten her. It had been my most pressing question, and one I would not be able to glean answers about from her silent mind. She whimpered in response.

"I'm sorry that I've done this to you, Bella. Alice said you liked to be called Bella. Which is perfect, actually. Appropriate, I mean. You're... you're beautiful," I whispered, feeling ridiculous for telling her that. Absurd, obviously. Of _course _she was beautiful. People had to tell her that all the time, and here I was muttering like a fool about how lovely she was while she lay burning from the inside. As if she'd care what I had to say.

I leaned over and ran my fingers through her long hair, being careful not to let it snag in my fingers and cause her any more discomfort. It was like silk weaving through my hands. She had a natural wave, one that she'd never lose now. I imagined how pretty it would look lying against her back, stroking the soft skin between her shoulder blades with its natural movement. My stomach tightened at the image of her hair lying against the bare skin of her neck and shoulders.

In response to my touch, her body quaked with a wave of fire that ran from her heart down to her toes and I clasped her hand as she breathed through it raggedly.

As Alice had said would happen, I hadn't left her side since returning from my brief hunting distraction. I was useless to her, of course, because I could not quench the burning that she suffered, but I hoped that she would take comfort in someone being beside her, talking to her. I remembered when I lay burning, as the terrible pain flashed over and over again through me in never-ending bursts, recalling how I clung to Carlisle's voice as he sat beside me. It did not ease the pain any, but when he spoke to me, it gave me something to cling to, some tangible thing that indicated that I was still a living person, that there was something outside of the hell that I'd been in. Of course, I'd been wrong, about the _living_ part. But his words not only kept me somewhat grounded, but they gave me hope, despite the tortuous pain. When I woke up, I knew about his life, about him, and despite the fact that I was wild and angry, I felt like I _knew_ him. I hoped that my voice would do the same for her now—not only that she had something to connect to, but that she might connect to me.

All day Monday, I sat at her side, unmoving, as the rest of my family members went about the task of acting normally. I held her hand and brushed the hair away from her forehead after wave after especially difficult wave of pain coursed through her body making her toss and turn. I told her about all of us—about Carlisle's patience, and Esme's loving goodness, Alice's bubbling and unending positivity, and Rosalie's resolve. I told her about our kind and our lifestyle, and about our gifts. I told her that I could hear thoughts, but not hers. Never hers.

All the while, she breathed through her suffering like a woman in labor, squeezing my hand, and breathing desperately through tremors of agony.

"What we _are_," I told her quietly, "is different from what you've heard. We're what humans think of as myths, legends. But our kind? We're real. I'm afraid that once you wake up and see what I've made you into, you'll hate me."

The words stung me, as I spoke them out loud to her. My greatest weakness, my deepest fear, was that she would see me for who I really was. In response, she turned slightly, and grasped my hand tightly in hers. She hadn't opened her eyes, but I thought maybe she could hear me, and that she understood. Maybe if I could explain things, it would not hurt her so badly when she woke up.

"Bella, I'm a _vampire_," I whispered. Even I could hear the way my voice shook with the admission. She did not respond but for the continued labored breathing. I waited for it, for the scream to split the otherwise still air, as my words sunk in to her subconscious, but it did not come. Another conundrum. Relief washed over me that she had not already rejected me, but I felt saddened by that possibility that she might not be able to understand me through the haze of her transformation after all. But she had not reacted, so I continued.

"And now I've made you like me. I hate myself for the fact that I've chained you to this life. To _me_," I whispered more quietly, mostly to myself. "I would give anything to take that back and give you the peace that you deserve. You were dying, but at least you would have had peace now."

Like a mantra, I had been telling her I was sorry since biting her. I knew from experience those little words could do nothing to soothe the anger and betrayal. As much as I loved Carlisle, I'd felt an intense anger at first for his act that took away all my choices. Rose, too, had felt it—so severely, in fact, that it still haunted her. I now understood what it was like to be in his shoes. Though he rarely thought about it anymore, he had been wracked with guilt over his choice, though he could never admit to regretting it. He loved us too much for that. It had been his stumbling block for a long time after our transformations, and even now, he thought of how he had made the choice for us.

I understood now how he could have made that choice to begin with—and the guilt that he would forever carry for it.

I only prayed that Bella would come to forgive me as I had come to forgive Carlisle.

So I continued to apologize, over and over again.

"I'm not sure if you can understand what I'm telling you, but we are different than what you've read or seen in movies. Our kind—those vampires that are out in the world—_do_ drink human blood, but our _family_—Alice, me, Carlisle, Emmett, all of us—we choose not to live our lives that way. We only drink from animals. I mean, we… we don't kill humans just for the sake of killing. Which sounds ridiculous, considering the fact that I killed you."

I averted my eyes away from her and muttered to myself how stupid I sounded. If she had any rational thought at all through this, she must have thought I was a madman for how idiotic I sounded. But she whimpered in response, and it distracted me away from my stupidity.

"I'm sorry," I whispered again, brushing my fingers over her temple. She gasped slightly and turned her face towards me, gently nuzzling my hand until it lay flat against her cheek. Her eyes remained tightly shut, and I wondered if she was dreaming through the fire, and what she saw that would elicit this reaction. I longed to know her mind more than anything I'd ever before wanted. It was that thought that strengthened my resolve.

"Bella, my family, they're good—better than me. I've done terrible things, the greatest of which is turning you into something like me, because you don't deserve this life. But Alice, Esme, my mother, and Carlisle... they're all good. _So_ good. And you will be like them. I'll make _sure_ of it."

I explained everything that I could. I told her about my change, and the way that her body would behave: strong and fluid and quick. I told her about our world, and the secrets that we must keep. I explained the thirst, and she moaned when I spoke of how it would feel like burning in her throat. And I hated that I had to tell her, but she had to know. She needed to know everything, so that when the time came for her to open her eyes and live our life, she would be prepared. I needed her to stay with us, but I knew that she would never do that if I kept anything from her, so I told her.

All the while, she whimpered, and nuzzled, and moaned, and I hoped she understood. And once, I thought she called my name, softly through tight lips.

Occasionally throughout my time beside her, one of the family members would come in to check on her. It was only during these brief interludes that I would turn my attention away from the beautiful creature lying there in torment. Esme was home this whole time, and I could hear her below, flitting through the house, but she gave me the space to talk to Bella. Occasionally, an errant thought of our future or her possible gifts, or what she would be like, coursed through Esme's mind—always laced with the utmost concern—but for the most part, she busied her mind with everyday tasks, giving me privacy with Bella. I was grateful.

At three thirty, Alice came through the door. She sat down beside me. Her thoughts were surprisingly quiet, though I knew she had so many questions. Neither of us spoke for a long while, simply looking down at the girl in front of us. Alice had never witnessed a change before, and she couldn't help the awe that she felt as seeing it firsthand.

I turned to look at her in response to the thought that Bella was extraordinarily calm for what she'd heard of the change.

There was a peculiar feeling rumbling in my stomach.

"I know," I whispered. "I've never seen anything like it. She's... _amazing_. I was a mess during my change."

Alice nodded.

"I don't remember mine, of course," she said lightly. "But from what Jazz tells me, it's pretty rough. Do you think that's part of her gift?"

I returned my attention back to her. She was once again wincing, her eyes clenched shut, but she was otherwise still. I furrowed my brow and shook my head.

"I don't know," I answered, "but whatever it is, she's doing an incredible job. I hope it passes quickly, though. I can't tell you how this is killing me. I don't understand it, but I've never felt anything like this." My voice waivered at the truth of it. Every moment that she suffered, I felt like I was suffering with her. It pained me to watch her work through the pain the way that she did. It was either too terrible to cry out, or she was incredibly brave.

Alice cocked her head to the side and pondered me, carefully keeping her thoughts secret from me. When I looked up, she was smirking.

"Edward," she giggled. "You are so clueless sometimes. If you only could stop being such a blockhead, you'd understand. Time will tell if that's even possible, huh?"

Her cryptic statement left me irritated more than anything, but before I could ask her what she meant or tell her to get lost, she pulled me to my feet and pushed me away towards the door.

My first reaction was to attack her. Bella's hand flopped onto the bed as it left mine and she whimpered at the loss of contact between us. I felt, rather than heard, the snarl that ripped up my throat and through my teeth. My vampire senses kicked in immediately and I found myself stooping slightly as if Alice was a threat, as if she were trying to take my prey.

_Knock_ _it off_, she thought, rolling her eyes. _I'm not going to do anything to her. Or let anything happen to her._

Immediately, I was ashamed. Of course Alice was not going to hurt her. The aggressiveness that I'd just portrayed left me feeling guilty all over again. Why had I acted that way? Bella was no longer my prey, yet I had nearly just attacked my sister because she seemed like a threat. How could I ever expect Bella to forgive me, when I continued to treat her as if she was my meal? Even as she laid turning, I was no good for her. I was dangerous.

"That's _not_ why you were angry with me, you know," she said smugly, as if she could read my thoughts. When I simply stood there stupidly, she rolled her eyes and continued. "It's because I separated you, Edward. Not because you think of her as _food_."

I continued to watch her with apprehension, unsure of what she was getting at. Finally, she huffed again, turned toward Bella, and took her tiny hand in hers, muttering something about "clueless idiot."

"Go downstairs, take a break," she said gently. "I'll sit with her until you get back. We'll talk. Girl talk."

She showed me a vision of her and Bella, as she rambled about nonsensical details of fashion and school and other things I didn't understand while she lay silently suffering. From what I could see, Bella would be fine—at least as fine as she could be in the state of her change. Alice also showed me that the evening paper was downstairs, waiting still-folded for me. That piqued my interest, and while it pained me to leave her, I knew deep down she was safe with Alice. I took one final look at her beautiful form lying motionless on the bed and sighed. With deep regret and longing, I went downstairs, eager to read the paper and get back to her.

In Monday evening's paper, the headline read:

_FATAL CRASH ON 101. DRIVER DEAD._

The article was short, indicating that there had been an accident the morning before. It spoke about the site of the crash, how authorities had arrived to find the driver of the semi truck dead. Though there was no coroner's report yet, they anticipated that there had been no foul play or criminal intent. He seemed to have had a heart attack.

It went on to talk about his family. He was fifty-two. He was from San Diego. He was married, and had three daughters, one of them married, the other engaged, and one still in high school. Her name was Mary. She was a senior.

It spoke of his nearly thirty years of service, and I wondered if his wife and children had been anticipating something like this their whole lives, wondering if one day he would fail to come home to them. I wondered who had told them the news, and if they'd been gentle or callous, simply someone doing their job.

Under the article was a picture of him, a photo of him standing beside his familiar truck, taken what was likely years ago. He had graying hair and tanned skin that was wrinkled at the corners of his mouth from smiling and intense sun, and he was paunchy around the middle from long days on the road and too many snack cakes.

But there was no mention of Bella.

It was as Alice said. There was no indication that there was more left to the crime scene that they had missed, no evidence that they should have kept looking. I should have been relieved and thankful that my family was not suspected, but I was angry, and sad, and I wanted to run and tell them that the story was missing vital information. That a girl had been there too—a beautiful, fascinating girl—and that they needed to look harder.

Because it felt like a great injustice that this man had a whole article on the front page of the _Peninsula Daily News, _but Bella had nothing. Only a scared, lonely man in a house downtown, waiting for the daughter who would not come home.

They'd been searching for her, of course. Her father was, after all, the police chief. But none of her friends remembered seeing the rusty red pick-up truck leave from the party that night in Port Angeles. None of the townspeople remembered seeing her drive through town on her way back home. They didn't know if she'd gone or stayed, or if she was somewhere still. Or gone forever.

Carlisle and Emmett joined the search party Monday night. Carlisle's guilt and remorse for his part in the facade weighed heavily on his thoughts before he left and after he came home. He hated deceiving the people of this town, and especially Chief Swan, but he knew, like all of us, how necessary it was to keep up pretenses. He hated that he had a hand in the suffering that Bella's father was going through, but he knew joining the futile search was a way to show his support, and he hoped that if Charlie needed someone, he'd come to talk to him. Esme made some lasagnas for him.

They did not find her. All the search parties in the world would not find her out there. In the last bedroom on the left, on the second floor of the Cullen house, his daughter lay burning.

Carlisle and Emmett came home with heavy hearts, and memories of a tired and broken looking man that nearly sent me to my knees. I wished that I could give him the much-needed solace that he was seeking. But I knew that, for all our sakes, he was better off not knowing the truth.

All night Monday, I sat vigil beside her, trying to reconcile my hope for her future—_my_ future—with the guilt I felt for her change. My mind did not settle, my heart did not heal, and the solution never came.

Just before eight o'clock on Tuesday morning, Alice had a vision. The day was cloudy and drizzling, and we'd anticipated that it was the day when she would wake up. I was on edge with anticipation and trepidation. I longed to know her—really know her—but I worried that she would hate me for my acts.

I didn't expect anything different, but I still hoped. My mind played out, with perfect clarity, the way that she'd called my name as she lay dying. I prayed that the memory meant that she could find it in her to forgive my selfish acts. It was a long shot, but it was all I had. I clung to it like a dying man to his retreating breath.

I watched Alice's mind race through the future. She showed me Bella waking up in pristine glory, her eyes sparkling crimson. Her skin was pale, but dewy and fresh. Her pretty features were offset by the flash of her eyes and cascading mahogany waves framing her cheekbones. There were only flashes, but Alice could tell me that it wouldn't be long. She could see in her mind's eye the time frame and she knew it would be that morning.

The family stayed home that day, despite the fact that the sun was hidden behind rainclouds. Their minds were all a flurry of emotions and anticipations, and I found myself getting frustrated at the intrusive way that it distracted me.

Alice was bouncing around the house like a toddler on caffeine. I avoided her smug thoughts and chipper demeanor as much as possible.

Jasper was worried, but Alice's positivity helped to even it out so that he was in control. He'd been spending a great deal of the last few days away from the house. He wanted to help, but Bella's change was taking its toll on him. I understood, and let him go without question. His guilt and pain would only compound my own, and I felt better knowing that he was going to be there when she woke up. He'd been struggling with her more than he'd ever remembered doing for another newborn.

Carlisle was supportive, but he continued to wonder about how her change had gone. He'd never known any of us to be so quiet during our transformation. Before, he'd contemplated moving her during the change, so that no one would happen upon her screams, but it had been unnecessary. Now, his mind flooded with all the questions he wanted to ask her.

Though Esme had been able to contain her enthusiasm throughout Bella's change, as the end loomed, she was swept up in everyone else's emotions. She could no longer control her errant happiness and expectations.

Rose was angry, and irritated. She resented that the rest of them seemed so eager, but a tiny part of her was curious, and hoped that her new sister _could_ find it in her heart to forgive me. She knew what it was like to live with that kind of resentment and regret, and hoped that Bella wouldn't. It was that quiet, compassionate side of her that I knew existed, which helped me to accept her thoughts. A small part of her, albeit unvoiced, didn't want Bella to suffer any more than the rest of us. A tiny part of her loved her like a sister as much as Alice already did.

I tried to block all of them out as they bustled beneath us. I sometimes wished that all I needed was a closed door or different floor to stop the intrusiveness of their thoughts, but that kind of separation didn't matter for me. They were always there. And while my new little vampire breathed heavily through the last rushes of fire through her veins, I wished I could slam the door to their thoughts.

All except one, that is. All accept Emmett's.

Emmett was eager, of course. His sense of adventure made him anxious to meet his new little sister, who he truly wanted to know. He recalled that in the times he'd observed her from a distance while at school, she was not like any of the others. She was quiet and reserved, keeping to herself, but she was kind, and intelligent, and sarcastic. She didn't like to cause trouble, from what he'd seen, but she had no problem sticking up for what she believed in. For being simply _Bella_.

I was not surprised by Emmett's reflections. Emmett was naturally intimidating based solely on his size, and I expected he had been as a human too. His height and body build could fool anyone into thinking that what he possessed in muscle, he lacked in intelligence. But this was not Emmett at all. He was warm and gentle, and often came across as simple because of his boisterous personality and outward joy. Even my family members sometimes failed to take him seriously, but he was one of the most interesting for me to listen to. Emmett had a complex mind and was often in deep reflection when everyone else thought he wasn't listening. He was a passionate individual who protected those he loved and fought for the things he held dear.

It was for this reason that I trusted his judgment fully and wished for his thoughts as I held her hand. The fact that Emmett was eager to know Bella made me want to know her for myself all the more.

At 9:25 AM, on Tuesday morning, while the rain trickled in jagged paths down the windowpanes, Bella's heart rate picked up. I felt it before I heard it, the pounding quaking through me as if it was my own, rumbling like hooves upon the earth. Her body rose off the bed slightly as she arched. Her breathing sped in tempo with the raging of her heart. The room seemed to reverberate with the thundering in her chest, like a base that shook the windows.

I stood quickly, gazing down over her. I leaned over her and watched her eyes, waiting. For a full minute, her heart bounced her chest audibly, gaining in speed until it waivered like helicopter blades. My family heard then, and they made their way up the stairs, fully intending to join me in the room for her waking. But Alice stopped them.

I felt like my heart was racing along with hers. In only a moment, she'd either accept me, or send me away. I both longed for the knowledge and cowered from it. Like the Tree of Life, I would know, but the knowledge may condemn me to hell.

Suddenly her heart stopped. Like an old machine, it thundered a last earth-shattering beat, and then stilled, causing a quiet that felt wholly unnatural. I couldn't bear to move, too afraid.

One second. 

Two seconds.

Three agonizing seconds.

A blink of the eye to a human, but to me, my whole world nearly crashed to the ground. _What if my venom had failed? What if she'd suffered, gone to hell and back, only to die anyway? What if I never knew her, or heard her call my name again, or let her go without telling her that she'd changed me?_

In those three seconds, there was no sound, only the hurried, frantic thoughts of six vampires, waiting behind the closed door of the guest room on the second floor, last one on the left. And mine, the end looking like it was so close I could taste it.

And then she opened her eyes.

Just like in Alice's vision, her eyes were large and crimson, swirling with something I couldn't fully put my finger on. But the visions couldn't truly do her justice. I knew she would be beautiful, but my imagination had nothing on what she truly was. For a moment, I felt like perhaps I had truly died then. Perhaps I had missed the moment when my limbs were ripped from my body and my body burned to ash—or more, maybe the last eighty years had been simply a dream—perhaps this was my heaven, and I was only just arriving.

Neither one of us moved as she stared up into my eyes. Both of us waiting.

My hand moved by its own volition. Slowly, I reached out to stroke down the inside of her arm. Her skin was like porcelain, soft and hard and delicate and smooth, all at the same time. My fingertips grazed down her bicep, swirling gently in the crook of her elbow.

I heard her long intake of breath that sounded like a feral hiss, but it didn't register that she was threatening until the bed frame was turned completely and she was crouched in the corner of her room, entwined in the bed sheets. I stooped, and we both held our poses there for almost a minute.

My family's frantic thoughts from the now-open doorway indicated to me that they were there, ready to help me, but my gaze was locked on the dangerous beauty huddled against the far wall. She was in the position, ready to strike, but her lips were not drawn over her teeth, and her eyes showed nothing that indicated that she was going to attack me.

It had been so stupid to touch her, but like a magnet, my fingertips had been drawn to her, and I had had no choice but to feel her.

After a moment, she stood, bit her lip, and looked down at the floor, fidgeting with the hem of her blouse. She no longer looked like the dangerous beast that I'd turned her into, but a nervous little girl. I furrowed my brow and tried to read the emotions that Jasper was getting from her. I fully expected anger, resentment, fear. It would have been normal for her to be confused and excited and thirsty—most of all, _thirsty_. But when my eyes searched out my brother, and I tore my eyes away from her, his expression matched mine.

Jasper was concentrating all his energy on feeling her. Even I could feel the heightened emotions in the room, but as hard as he tried, Jasper could not get a solid lock on her. She continued to stare down at the floor, hiding her eyes from us. I turned my attention back to her, and my eyes widened when Jasper finally got a hold of her. A single startling emotion nearly shook me to the floor.

Chagrin.

I gasped ever so slightly out of my surprise.

Her eyes met mine again. Their brilliant scarlet swirled and I recognized the truth of it. There were no feelings of ravishing thirst, or frenzied uncontrollability. She was _embarrassed_.

She sighed ever so slightly. Her eyes sought out the floor again, but she peeked up at my through her lashes, and my belly twisted with strange, delicious anticipation.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. Immediately, her eyes widened, and her fingertips reached up to touch her lips as she gasped at the sound of her own voice. She took a breath and closed her eyes. And then the words just spilled out of her mouth.

"I mean, I'm sorry that I tried to attack you, and that I flipped the bed over and made a mess. I'll clean it up, I promise, and I don't have a lot of money, but I'll find a way to replace it. I just was so startled when you touched me, because it felt so good, and you smell like lilacs and honey and summer, when the air is dry and hot, and your eyes—god, I didn't know that color existed. And your hands... your hands are like…silky bathwater. And I'm... I'm sorry."

It came out all in one breath, and I thought that it was a good thing she didn't need to breathe. I hazarded a glance at my family, who were all huddled in the doorway, their eyes trained on the enigma of a creature in front of us, all sharing the same perplexed expression. Their thoughts matched, as they all took in the spectacle before us. She was like nothing any of them had ever experienced, and she was perfect. She looked away and furrowed her brow, like she was confused by her own words tumbling from her lips.

I smiled, despite myself. The fact that she could focus on an emotion as human as embarrassment—focus on _anything_, really—and the fact that Jasper was having a difficult time reading her should have made me even more wary. But the way she was hiding and apologizing was so damn endearing that I couldn't help it. _All this time she'd been suffering, she wakes up, and she apologizes for turning over the bed and hissing at me. What kind of newborn was I dealing with?_

My family's wavering thoughts shook me, and the smile on my face faltered. I sighed, realizing that I needed to begin the process of guiding her. I was enjoying her reactions too much. Now was the time, though, that I needed to accept that I had done this to her. This innocent girl-turned-beast was because of me. Her despair, her confusion, her pain, was all on my hands. And they would be there, all these feelings, even if now, all she was feeling was embarrassment for turning over a bed.

I took a small step forward, tentatively reaching out toward her. She noticed the slight movement in her periphery, and her eyes rose up from her spot on the floor to meet mine again. There I saw, that despite her apologies and distractions, the burning she'd just woken from _was_ haunting her. Sorrow and hesitance...and something else, something completely different. Something like relief.

I frowned and took another step towards her and lifted my hand just a little higher. I expected her to flinch or run, because that would be normal for someone of our kind, newly awake. Instead, she raised her chin and took a fraction of a step _towards_ me.

I moved so slowly, it would appear to the naked eye that I wasn't even moving. But then, only a half a minute later, I was three feet away from her, almost close enough to reach out and wrap her in my arms. And, _God_, did I want to do it.

The rest of them stood hovering in the door, allowing me to make my way over to her. Their thoughts were a mixture of suspicion, awe, and fear. Her eyes darted to them twice, but only for a fleeting moment before turning back to me. She seemed perplexed, but not afraid, and I was thankful that their presence was not too intimidating for her, If she panicked, she would likely be too strong for any one of us to control, and the idea of more than one of us pinning her made me cringe. I didn't want to treat her like she was dangerous. Even though she was.

"Bella," I said softly to her, trying hard to be comforting. "My name is—"

"Edward," she said, finishing for me. It took me off guard, but not because she knew my name, but because the sound of my name on her lips again, now spoken with her new sweet, melodic lilt, made me tremble. My dead heart leapt in my chest to the point that I nearly choked from the magnitude of its affect on me. She sighed and played with her fingers. "I know."

She looked briefly at my family members. 

"I remember, I mean. You, Alice—_everyone_—I remember." From the doorway, Alice squealed slightly, emanating her joy over Bella's memory, excited that she'd mentioned her. A vision of Bella and her laughing as sisters—friends— floated through her brain.

For a moment, her eyes met mine once again, and I took in a quick intake of breath. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. As I'd imagined she would be, she was breathtaking. I felt in that moment that I was looking at the sun. Somehow, I knew that when I looked away, all other things would be gone, like I was blind to all but her—the pure white light of her silhouette masking everything else.

Carlisle cleared his throat and stepped into the room, prepared to help where he could. His confusion at her calm demeanor did not dissipate, but he was eager to find out more about her change, and to help her in any way he could.

"Isabella," he began, slowly and cautiously inching towards her with his hands up in surrender.

"Bella," she said softly. "Please, _just_ Bella."

I smiled again to myself, but was not surprised by the way that the family joined me. Something about her was so natural.

"Bella," he amended. He remembered when he had treated her from her twisted ankle a mere two months ago, and how she had preferred that name then too. He knew, but it was Carlisle's natural reaction to slip back into his professional tendencies, calling her by her given name. Now, however, she was not his patient, but his daughter. He smiled warmly at her as he moved in closer. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions. We'll be happy to help answer them."

She smiled softly and looked away.

"Actually, Edward was very thorough...you know, before." She winced at the memory of her transformation. I felt the pain as poignantly as I had when I watched her silently suffering through it, and I winced too.

Carlisle's thoughts were perplexed, contemplative.

_She remembers? So clearly? She was very alert, then. Fascinating. Have you ever seen anything like it?_

I shook my head minutely. She noticed.

"What?"

I rubbed the back of my neck, suddenly feeling self conscious about my ability. I'd never felt that it was wrong to listen into thoughts or converse silently, despite how it annoyed my family at times. But under her careful gaze, I felt guilty for keeping things from her. I wanted, _desperately_, for her to know everything—to have everything I had. To know everything there was to know about _me_.

"Uh, sorry," I muttered before I lifted my eyes to hers again. "Carlisle was just wondering whether or not I've ever seen anyone as lucid as you during their change. That's all."

She snorted lightly and raised her eyebrow.

"Annoying, isn't it?" Emmett pushed his way into her line of sight and smiled at her. To all of her surprise, she smiled affectionately and cocked her head to the side like he was an old friend or already her big brother, biting the side of her lip sweetly.

"Actually, I think it's pretty amazing." She looked back at me and her smile faded into a soft expression.

She wasn't sad—she simply looked serene—but when our eyes locked, her voice became a mere whisper.

"Truly amazing. I could have never imagined." Her breath washed across her lips, swirling the air between us. Instinctively, I took another step towards her. I was drawn to her. It was stronger than the pull of her blood or the need to make penance for my sins. It was aside from the fact that I'd never seen anything such as her before, or the physical appeal about her. It was something so innate that I couldn't even name it.

It scared the _hell_ out of me, and I could tell that it did her too. She seemed just as confused and fearful of this power that held us there. It was the same one that caused to her to remember my name after half a year, the same one that wouldn't allow me to leave her dying by the side of the road. It was strong and undeniable, terrifying in its resolve to bend us. Yet neither of us could turn away. But I would not use it against her either. I wouldn't let it break her in the way I had.

Even despite her familiarity with me, I could tell she was wrestling with it. Like me, she could see how unnatural it was, and while she was new to this life, she seemed to understand that there was something about our connection. Perhaps it was that I was her sire. _Hadn't I had a strong connection to Carlisle, despite my anger?_ I reasoned to myself. Looking at her, I recognized the feelings I was having reflected in her own eyes. The time that I'd sat vigil beside her had not prepared me for this moment of her waking. It was like I was being born anew right along with her.

Each one of my family members was transfixed on our silent battle. Their thoughts washed through my brain, and I recognized the tenor of them, but I did not latch on to any one idea.

_She's remarkable. Truly. Edward's venom is an enigma._

_What are they _doing_? This is so ridiculous._

_  
I wonder if a good beat to the head will make him see?_

_Amazing. After all this time. It's fitting that she's his._

_She is going to fit in perfectly. She's a good match, Edward._

_She's dangerous. I can't... I don't understand._

My father's thoughts broke through the trance that she held me in, dissipating all the other's like smoke.

_Edward, you need to attend to her thirst. It must be agonizing._

When I turned to look at him, he was watching me, a pleading expression on his face. He remembered the way the fire settled in the throat once a newborn awoke, and he feared for Bella. Despite her careful demeanor, she was a newborn, nonetheless.

I turned my attention to the young vampire before me. She was watching me curiously, my attention diverted by Carlisle. I sighed, knowing that while she might surprise me again, the question I was about to ask her might very well cause her pain.

"Bella?" I said gently. "Are you thirsty?"

She gasped almost inaudibly as her hands shot up to her throat, curling there. As if her grip could stop the flames from licking at her esophagus, she squeezed and began to wheeze.

I rushed to her side and wrapped my hands over her wrists. Her newborn strength was too much for me, as I tried in vain to pull her hands from around her neck before she caused herself damage. I tugged for a moment before changing my approach and finally relaxed. My hands were wrapped around her delicate little wrists, and the closeness of her body to mine caused my body to hum, but I pushed the peculiar feelings aside as I concentrated on helping her. My thumbs rubbed gentle circles over the back of her hands where I held her, trying to cause her to loosen her grip through my gentle caresses.

Finally, her hands relaxed and dropped. The separation from her neck caused her to whine as she realized that despite the death grip on her throat, the fire raging there had not lessened. My hands slipped down her wrists, and my fingertips burned where they caressed her skin. Her hands settled lightly in both of mine, and I couldn't help the way that my heart leapt at the fact that I was holding her hand. Like an adolescent boy, I secretly rejoiced that she was allowing me to touch her. She whimpered and choked.

"It burns," she cried quietly, as her eyes sought mine out pleadingly. Her fingers danced with mine, playing between tangling and grazing. I dropped her right hand completely, and it fell limply to her side, but twisted my fingers with hers on the other. She allowed that too, and our palms pressed tightly together.

I squeezed her hand lightly to get her attention, and I pulled her gently along. I would not have had the strength to move her if she resisted, but she took a step toward me as I moved her towards the door. I didn't understand—I'd ended her life, made her to suffer, and ended the world as she knew it—yet she followed without question, seemingly trusting the monster in me.

"Come, on," I whispered, as I led her toward the door. "Let's hunt."

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**End Note:** So? What did you think? Leave me some love. Simply click the little button down there. =)

Oh, and I'll give you a pony if you can work back and tell me exactly what time and day Edward bit Bella… Okay, it probably won't be a pony, but I'll think of something fun to give you. Sorry. I can't send ponies in the review reply.

(Psst! Don't forget the seconds…)


	6. Chapter 6: Falling Slowly

**Author's Note:** I want to thank all of you for the overwhelming response I received from the last chapter. WOW! I appreciate that the majority of you were so cool about my complete lack of a suitable update schedule. I know all those amazing authors get some chapters under their belts before posting, but I just can't do it that way. I get too excited to wait to post a chapter.

Oh, and by the way, Bella was bitten at 1:35 AM, on Sunday morning. And to some of you who asked: Yes! It does happen to fall somewhere around September 13th… Hmmmm… take out of that what you will…

I know it sucked that I asked you to do math last chapter, but those who _did_ it got a teaser for this chapter in their inbox. I'm just saying…

Anyway, on to Chapter 6.

**Chapter 6: Falling Slowly** playlist song…._Falling Slowly_, by The Frames. Funny how that works out, huh?

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 6: Falling Slowly**

The air was damp, though the rain had stopped. It had been days since I'd last run, but even now, it was not the same. The way my body _moved_ was the same, of course, and it was so instinctual that I didn't need to think about it to do so. There was no physical exertion, all of it part of our base abilities.

But running beside Bella was a new level of instinct. It was as if I was meant to run along side of her.

I shook my head at the ridiculous turn my thoughts had taken.

I hazarded a glance in her direction. We'd only been running a short time. We were only a few miles from the house and my—our—family but it felt the distance with each stride. We were alone.

I was terrified.

We'd walked through the threshold, hand in hand. As soon as we hit the outside air, she'd tensed up. Immediately, she'd dropped my hand as she tried to work through the onslaught of sensations that the cool air had brought with it. Everything was heightened outside, where the rain had churned the earth and mixed the air, and she spun slowly trying to take it all in.

At first, I'd been worried. Despite the peculiarity of her first words, she was a newborn, and her mind could easily be overwhelmed by it all to the point that she would panic and run. If that happened, I'd have little chance of stopping her alone. My family joined us on the lawn, and sensing my fears, Jasper had stepped forward to help calm her. He still wasn't getting a steady, clear reading off of her, and this bothered him immensely. It was dangerous. But any effort he'd been about to make had been unnecessary anyway.

She'd turned and stopped in front of me, and I saw that her eyes were closed. She inhaled deeply, and smiled softly.

"It's incredible," she whispered.

I physically staggered. She was not overwhelmed. She was taking it all in and enjoying it. I shook my head, feeling overwhelmed in her stead.

"It _is_," I told her, though I was not referring to the scents in the air. She opened her eyes and gave me a wary look before turning to take a quick peek at the rest of them, standing and staring on the steps.

"Are they coming?" She asked quietly, nodding slightly to them.

I looked over to see the rest of them watching us warily again, not unlike how they had been in the room upstairs. Their thoughts were guarded, though I could feel the undertone of excitement coursing through all of them.

"No, but they can if you'd like." I'd considered asking Jasper to come on the first hunt, while she'd been burning before me. I'd never dealt with a newborn alone, and if she had been especially wild, he would help to calm her. Plus, he had extensive experience with newborns. However, as it stood, Jasper likely wasn't necessary. While she could easily turn on me at any time, I didn't feel the need to have any back-up, and besides, he seemed highly ineffectual.

Plus, I didn't really want him there.

She looked down at the ground for a moment and shook her head vehemently.

"No, I don't think so. I, well… I don't really know if I'll be able to… hunt?" Her voice questioned her choice of words, and I nodded, hoping to convey that she'd been correct.

"Okay, then. Let's go."

I reached out to take her hand again, but she held it away, just out of my reach. For a moment, I was hurt so badly that my vision blurred. I didn't anticipate the feeling of rejection, and I frowned. I second-guessed the feeling I'd had while she suffered.

"You don't have to do that," she whispered. "I mean, you don't have to touch me if you don't want to."

I was confused by this, and I just stood there.

Jasper finally got a lock on her. She was a mix of sadness, and worry, and self-doubt.

"I do," I told her quietly—truthfully—hoping that she could understand me.

Before she could react with her new senses, I reached out to take her hand, ignoring the fear that she would turn away from me again. She let me take it this time, and I grasped it tightly. Part of me didn't ever want to let it go again, in case she wouldn't let me touch her the next time. She peered up into my eyes through bashful lashes, and I smiled.

Her body relaxed and she followed me again.

Now we were running side by side. She was fast. It had taken me a while to convince her to run. Once we had walked at human pace away from the house, I'd urged her to run with me. Again, she looked at her feet and away from me. It was beginning to drive me nuts, the way she hid from me.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea for me to run," she'd said. "I'm not so good on my feet."

I'd chuckled, and she'd appeared hurt at that, but I pulled her along anyway, and after our pace had picked up, she understood. I doubted Bella would ever fall again. The exuberant look on her face, as the wind brushed over her cheeks and through her hair, put the tiniest skip in my step.

She was _fast_. Not quite as fast as me, but she was so close, I hardly had to slow for her—I hardly had to think about it the way I did with everyone else. Her body was fluid, the most beautiful runner I'd ever seen. Each step she took, her body reacted in all the normal ways, but I was mesmerized by it like nothing else I'd ever seen. Her feet hit the ground in a soft cadence with mine. Her legs were graceful and agile, and she looked like she was dancing while we ran, like her body was gliding through water. I couldn't help the way I constantly stole glances at her. Her eyes caught mine, and she abruptly stopped.

"Am I doing it wrong?" she said. I'd failed to stop as quickly as her, and was now a few feet in front of her. Her eyes were wide and sorrowful.

I snorted. How was it possible that she could be like this? Perhaps my venom _was_ tainted. I immediately chastised myself for thinking that. As if something were wrong with her. I shook my head, both to her and at my own thoughts.

"No, Bella. There's nothing wrong with you," I assured us both. "You're… you're perfect."

I looked away and rubbed the back of my neck. It was at that moment that I realized how far we'd actually gotten. I'd been too distracted by her next to me to notice the distance or the speed. I'd failed to calculate our trajectory or our projected path. I'd been so enthralled in _her_ it was as if I'd lost all sense of myself.

This was as good a spot as any. When I turned around again to meet her ruby eyes, she was still looking at me warily. I smiled.

"So? Are you ready to try out that newly-acquired hunting skill?"

Her eyes widened and she took in a sharp intake of breath.

"I, I don't know what to do," she stuttered, backing up slightly. I was afraid this would be enough to send her into the panic I'd been anticipating, so I rushed up behind her and put my hands on her shoulders to keep her in place. Apparently it had taken her off guard, because she gasped at the slight pressure I put there.

If I was being completely honest with myself, I was taken by surprise as well. If I was truthful, I would have admitted to myself that I, too, took in a quick breath at our contact, or recognized the way that my body electrified where her back touched my chest, or the warmth that spread through me at the knowledge that I suddenly felt complete in a way I never had.

But I was not ready for that.

I leaned over and put my lips next to her ear.

"Don't think," I told her gently. "It's instinctual. You'll _feel_ it. Inside you."

She took two, deep and unnecessary breaths. She turned slightly so that she could look over her shoulder until our eyes met.

"Is that the way everything is? Inside you? Instinctual?" Her breathy words swept over me, and made me teeter. I blinked and shook myself.

"Um, well, some things," I said quickly, trying to hide the effect her words had on me. "You'll find there are a lot of things that come naturally to you now. Things that may have seemed impossible before."

She watched me for a beat and then nodded slowly as she took in and processed what I said, before turning back around. As our eye contact broke, I rolled my eyes at how stupid I likely sounded to her. I refocused my attention back on her first hunt, leaning back into her to steady us both.

"So, what are we hunting ?" she said. I smiled and shook my head again.

"Whatever we can find." Slowly, I brought my hands from her shoulders down her arms. Blood no longer flowed through her veins, but there was no denying the life-force that swirled beneath her alabaster skin. My fingertips felt like they were on fire as they hummed their way down her bare arms. She stiffened slightly and I leaned into her again, allowing myself to feel the weight of her body against mine.

"Close your eyes," I whispered. She obeyed and shuddered slightly. As soon as she had her eyes closed, she relaxed into me, her vision now cut off, but her other senses taking their place. I watched her breath in and out evenly, calmly. "What do you hear? What do you smell? What do you _feel_?"

She took in a shaky breath. Her head tilted to the side, lolling back until her hair hit my shoulder softly. I closed my eyes as well, to hear and smell and feel what she did.

But all I could hear and smell and feel was _her_. Lost in her, I forgot where I was until she spoke.

"Something—some_things_—to the left, down the hill. They're… _strong_, but fragile. They smell like sweat and earth and copper. I can feel the pulsing. It's like a drum—but _wet_."

She opened her eyes and our gazes connected again. Her chest moved with her forced breath, and mine moved with hers. I nodded, acquiescing to the fact that this meant I'd have to let her go.

"Good," I whispered, smiling softly. "Go."

It only took her another breath before she raced off towards the source of food. It was a small herd of mule deer, gathered unknowingly beside a small stream that had wound its way around a hill spattered with trees. I knew the place well, could picture it in my mind.

I raced behind her, giving her ample room to attack. In a moment, we were upon them, so close I could taste their musty hide and their metallic tang on my tongue. I expected this to be a massacre, as the intense burning in her throat caused her to pounce viciously, but she skidded to a halt just before we crested over the hill, pausing to look back over her shoulder at me questioningly.

"How do I _do_ it?" she asked tentatively.

"Here," I whispered, running my finger up the side of her throat. The action felt a little scandalous, and I wondered why I had suddenly felt it necessary to show her on her own body when it would have been easier to do it on mine.

She shuddered and nodded, turning her attention back to the herd that she could see clearly. They were still and alert, their ears pricked and eyes wide, their natural instincts telling them that something was unsafe. In a moment they would run from us. I was about to urge her on when she crouched and launched herself gracefully into the air and into the valley.

All I could do was stand back and watch.

I'd spent the last eighty years watching my family members hunt. Each one of them had their own kind of grace, their own fluid movements. Carlisle was careful and tactile. When he hunted, he was clean and precise, while gentle and humane—each bite caused the least amount of damage while being extraordinarily effective. Esme was delicate. Her movements were the slowest and she appeared too cautious on the outside, but her mind worked quickly as she used the time to plan. She'd use her hands to bring it down and only after would she use her teeth on her prey, each hunt a new experience. Alice was quick but severe, and always finished before anyone else, her mind focused on everything _but_ the hunt itself. Emmett was clunky in his approach. He used his arms to take it down, and he liked to taunt it and play with it. Rose wasted no time, and a fire burned in her eyes as she took her sustenance, gulping it down greedily. After, she would sulk for a few moments, before tapping her foot, waiting for her companions—except Alice—to finish. She found no joy in it. Jasper, ever the soldier, laid out the battle in his head incredibly accurately and completely, before he struck. Like a chess match, each move was a tactic.

But watching Bella hunt was like liquid fire.

Her movements were like slow motion, the blur coaxing me like an intoxicating mist that clouded my vision. I was not seeing it as it happened, it seemed, but as I imagined the perfect hunt _would _happen. Despite her inexperience, her body moved with natural grace, and I caught myself simply staring as she took down a deer, hurling it to the ground.

When she landed, she was not in the middle of the herd, but dancing along the edge of their frightened grouping. She took a small fraction of a moment to survey the animals before reaching to her left and grasping at the one closest to her.

Its eyes widen infinitesimally, but it could do nothing more than that, as she pounced on it. She seemed to consider for a moment, before grasping its neck tightly and twisting. I watched as the life left it. Then, so quickly that I barely noticed it, she ran her finger up its jugular, as I had done to her not a moment before, and leaned over it.

All this happened in mere seconds.

But the actual act of her taking it into her mouth, cooling the intense burning that she had to have been feeling, was slow to come. I watched, enraptured, as she hovered over the animal's body, her eyes closed. She was breathing rhythmically—in, out, in, out. Her lips were parted, and I could see where the deer's fur moved from the tiny gusts of air coming out of her.

She was so close, she'd only have to move a fraction of an inch to taste the murky, warm liquid. I couldn't imagine the burning she must have been feeling. I wanted to urge her to take it, and end her suffering, but I feared that my voice would shatter the dream I was witnessing. I felt like I was floating as I watched her, as if I was interrupting something private and sensual. I shuddered, suspended in the gentle, frozen moment.

Her eyes opened and darted to mine, and everything turned back on again. The world sped up, and I realized that the rest of the herd had scattered in fear as I stood there, memorized by her. At the same time, she sunk her teeth into its neck and tasted—greedily, messily. Wildly.

When she finished, she rose up and straightened her clothes clumsily. I raised my eyebrows and smirked at her. Despite the fact that she had been so smooth and natural in her take-down of the animal, she still appeared flustered by it.

Her hair was twisted from the wind through it as we ran, and she'd muddied her pants at the knees where she'd kneeled down on the ground. Her shirt had ripped when the animal's hoof had caught her in its brief battle to survive. When she'd finally broken flesh, the blood had splattered in an arc across the curves of her chest, because she didn't know quite yet how its fluids would react to her sharp teeth.

I had no doubt, however, that it would not take her long to learn every nuisance.

I found myself still staring aimlessly at the tiny red dots smattering her shirt and quickly averted my eyes. When I looked back again, she was worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. I smiled lazily, reveling in her unanticipated reactions.

"Still thirsty?" I questioned gently. Her eyes met mine, and a small smile played on her lips as she nodded. I breathed in the air and caught the scent of a larger animal not far away. Lilting my head towards the North, I reached out my hand toward hers.

"Come on," I whispered. "Let's do _that_ again."

She settled down on the ground under a large aging oak, tucking her legs under herself. I stood watching her, and she carefully scrutinized a blade of grass which she was rolling around in her fingers.

Her movements were gentle, calculated to the point of immense control, and she looked like any of us. She looked almost human. Almost, but not quite.

The blade remained intact. Her fingers controlled their pressure, letting it glide through them unscathed.

I wished I could hear her thoughts—now more than ever. Watching her hunt was a revelation, like seeing light for the first time. I'd expected her to be feral and uninhibited, but I did _not_ expect the precision, grace, and control she had while _still_ being those things _too_. She was as strong as any newborn I'd ever seen, but the amount of control she exhibited was like that of a much older, seasoned vampire. She was almost stoic in the way she existed in this new body, this new life.

I wanted to know what she was feeling. Was this like her burning? Was the tumult of her new existence still raging in her, but was she simply not letting it out? Was this her _gift_? Could she silence the emotions or quiet the inferno of her restless spirit by sheer will? I wasn't sure.

What's more, I wished I could _feel_ what she was feeling. I wanted to experience the way everything smelled, fresh and new, with untapped senses. I wanted to feel the rough, cool blade of grass as it slide between her vampire fingers, or inhale the deep mossy wetness of the earth through her mind. I wanted to see the light shining through the tree cover, through her eyes. All these new experiences, ripe for the taking.

I wanted to be in her, and around her, and through her.

As if she could read _my_ mind, she suddenly looked up. She held my gaze for a long while, searching my face for something unknown, her own twisted in hesitance. I watched a dozen different emotions play out over her face—caution, sadness, excitement, joy, contemplation—but I could only speculate what she was feeling.

She looked like she was about to say something, her lips pulled to one side and her eyes narrowed, but then she sighed, shook her head and looked back down at the ground.

Slowly, I came to sit beside her in the grass. The earth was cool and slightly damp, but it did nothing to stop me from being near her. I watched her, gently twirling the grass between her fingers. Though her eyes were cast towards the movement in her hand, I could tell that she was looking through it, not really seeing it. I burned to know the inner working of her mind, know what it was that she seemed to be wresting with.

Then, I scolded myself for my stupidity. Of course she was wresting with something. She'd just woken up as a vampire. I cleared my throat.

"Do you feel alright?" I whispered.

She nodded, looking up into my eyes again. She smiled softly and it instantly warmed me from a chill I hadn't known I had.

"Yes, I feel full. Sort of…_gushy_."

She tilted her face to the sky and closed her eyes, leaning back on the palms of her hands. The sun peeked out from behind a cloud and danced through the treetops across her face. The breath caught in my throat at the same time that she let out a soft sigh, and I hoped that she had not heard my own breathy gasp. I should have been used to the way the light bounced off our faceted skin, but seeing Bella shine like that in the rays of the sun was breathtaking. I could only sit still, watching the light bounce across her cheekbones and the slope of her nose, and across her full, pink lips.

I suddenly had an unbelievable urge to taste them, to know if they tasted like sugar crystals or snowflakes.

"Like Thanksgiving," she continued, her eyes still closed. It startled me, this strange comment, but before I could question her, she continued. "When I've had too much to eat, and it aches. But in a good way. Only I'm not sleepy. No tryptophan, I guess."

She opened one eye to see my reaction, I assume, and gasped. Quickly she sat up again and looked at me fearfully, her eyes wide and searching. I furrowed my brow, only to realize that I was bathed in sunlight too. The light reflected onto her where it bounced off of me. I put my hands up in surrender to her, fearful that this shock would be the one that would put her over the edge.

Her diamond-crusted lips fell open slightly, and she breathed heavily. Slowly I rose to my knees, ready to grab her if need be.

"So… _beautiful_," she breathed, a tiny hint of a smile playing across her features. She tentatively reached across the distance separating us, but pulled her hand back quickly when a beam of light hit it. She turned her attention to her own flesh and studied it intensely and carefully, as if it was made of glass. She slowly turned it around to watch the beams of light flicker off of her into the grass and over the trees.

I watched her in awe. Again. She was surprising me at every turn. She did not hiss or crouch in fear from this new discovery of herself, but rather treated it like a miracle.

Her eyes sought out mine in question, and I realized how many things she was likely aching to understand. I'd done as much as possible to talk to her and tell her about our kind, but apparently I wasn't doing a very good job with the basics. I was about to apologize when she spoke up again.

"I'm sorry. I'm just having a hard time wrapping my mind around this. I didn't, well, _expect_ this." She held her hand up to indicate what she was referring to.

"I know," I told her softly, feeling the full depth of shame for not preparing her better. "_I'm_ sorry, actually. I should have told you."

She smiled then and her whole body seemed to soften.

"Really? Because I think you were pretty thorough."

In response to her, I relaxed substantially myself, and I found myself joining her it the ease that she already possessed.

"If it makes you feel any better," I told her gently, as we returned to our earlier side-by-side positions, "You've done amazingly well. I've never _seen_ anything like that."

She pondered me for a second before looking away with a bashful look across her face. Her temperament turned abruptly as she began to fidget and worry the hem of her shirt.

"You were right. It was natural—like my body just knew what to do. Like it was leading me. I, uh, made a mess of myself, though. Not like you. You're perfect."

I raised my eyebrows and smirked at her. Her face fell in horror.

"-ly clean," she added. "Perfectly _clean_."

"It will come, you know. This is from a lot of practice. It's your first time out hunting. You should have seen me when I came home from my first hunt. And Emmett? Emmett still makes a mess of himself. It's ridiculous, actually."

She smiled and bit her lip, and I realized that I longed to see her do it. She'd done it that one and only day that I'd watched her, across the cafeteria on her first day, and now she'd brought it with her in this life. I leaned back into the grass and closed my eyes.

For a long while, we stayed that way. I was content—almost happy—and the silence between us was comfortable. Had so many questions for her, and I was sure she had many for me as well, but neither of us seemed eager to ask them. It was as if we were in our own world, and neither wanted to delve any deeper at the moment.

"How long?" she finally asked.

"Hmm?"

"How long have you been…'practicing?'"

And there it was. There was the question that would end our peace. My age. It was abnormal and grotesque, and I was sure that all that would follow would show her the life I had damned her to.

"Eighty-seven years," I whispered, shame clouding the dreamy state I'd been in only moments before.

Her eyebrows rose and she let out a soft gust of breath, but was otherwise silent. I listened to the steady rhythm of her breathing and the air around us, as the air rustled the trees and blew the grass around us.

"I've seen a lot. More than I've cared to. This life," I said slowly, watching her reaction, "It's not easy. It's painful. I'm sorry that I've brought this on you."

She snorted softly, and when our eyes connected, she narrowed hers and tilted her head to the side, as if she were studying me. I was sure that she was going to curse me or run, but she smiled sadly and shook her head.

"Are you always like this? I mean, am I going to have to put up with apologies for the rest of eternity?"

Her smile grew wide, indicating that she was teasing me, and I found myself smiling like a fool right along with her. What was _wrong_ with this little, mesmerizing vampire in front of me? _Absolutely nothing,_ I told myself.

"So I'm told."

We sat in comfortable silence again. She laid down in the grass and closed her eyes. I watched her wiggle against the earth, feeling the blades of grass tickling her new, marble skin, before she settled into stillness. She was so relaxed, looked so content, that I imagined her to be sleeping. A gentle smile played on her lips, as the sun once again broke through the trees to rest on her face. Her eyelids and cheekbones were brilliant, like the sun reflecting off the water's surface.

She sighed again and stretched in a move that was so gentle it looked human, and her eyes opened .She sat up and looked around us, breathing in the air. I continued to watch her unabashedly, marveling at her—everything about her intrigued me, from her silent mind to her peculiar tendencies as a newborn. Even the fact that she seemed so at peace in this moment drew up some unspoken, unnamed pleasure from me. The wind gusted and blew her hair around her face, and drew her scent towards me. I inhaled deeply, and her eyes darted towards me before looking away shyly.

"So, this?" she said softly into the wind. "_Me_. I'm a vampire." It was not a question, so much as it was that it was suddenly dawning on her—sinking in. She was speaking to herself more than anything, and I once again felt the intense wave of guilt for the choices I'd made for her. Though she'd handled it remarkably well so far, what was to say that it would last? Would she _now_—now that she realized _what_ she was—turn into a true newborn. Would the weight of this life cause her to turn away from me the way I'd always imagined? When she realized that I'd turned her into this creature of the night, and took away all her hope for the future, would _that _be when she began hating me?

Because it had not come yet, and I fully expected it. I fully _dreaded_ it.

I was wrestling with apologizing again, when she spoke again.

"What did Dr. Cullen mean when you and he were talking about me being…" She hesitated. "Well, like nothing you'd ever seen before."

She finally turned her eyes on me, and while they were beseeching and cautious, they were not sad as I expected them to be. She was really just curious, it seemed. I nodded.

"Newborns—new vampires like you, that is—aren't normally so… normal?" I told her, turning the word up like a question. It was a poor excuse for an answer to her question, and I knew that, but I did not want to scare her any more than she likely already was. Plus, it was the best way I could describe _her_.

She furrowed her brow. "I don't understand."

"They're…wild."

Her eyes widened, and she took a deep breath. "Wild?"

"Quick and fidgety, and hard to handle. They are untamed, controlled by the thirst and the human blood that hasn't been absorbed yet in their system. They are violent and aggressive, scared and alone. You? You're _nothing _like them. You're able to exhibit restraint, and you feel guilt, and chagrin. You seem to feel the whole range of emotions. We've never seen another newborn _do_ that. I don't know. I can't explain it. You're not what we expected."

She sighed sadly and looked down at her hands.

"Oh," was all she said.

I scooted over to her and tilted her chin up to look at me. I hadn't intended to hurt her—that was furthest from my mind—but my words had touched on something deep that apparently was enough to bring her down. It took a bit of coaxing to have her meet my gaze, but when I finally caught her eyes with my own, they were large rubies, sparkling with the depth of emotion that would surprise me for a long time to come.

"Hey," I whispered gently. "That's not a bad thing. We're intrigued—surprised, of course—and excited. I can't promise that you'll skip _all_ the newborn tendencies—you likely _won't_—but everything I've seen so far is impressive. Even if it's just control. The only one who comes close, even amongst us, is Carlisle, and even _his_ restraint took him time. It's _amazing_, Bella."

She bit her lip as she looked up at me, and it took me a long while to realize that we were so close. My hand still held her chin gingerly, and her nose was a mere inch from mine. If I leaned in just a little…

I wave of unexpected emotions overwhelmed me, and I realized just how dangerously close I was to the edge. I sighed as I pulled away from her, feeling another kind of guilt all together. I moved away from her slowly, and she closed her eyes. I thought I heard her sigh as well, but I wasn't sure.

I ran my hand through my hair as I backed away from her, giving her a crooked grin that, thankfully, caused her to smile back at me.

"But I do have to warn you, Carlisle is eager and intent on questioning you to the nth degree. He thinks that it is my venom that may have something to do with your level of control. I don't agree, but he's a physician. Everything needs to be analyzed."

"That's okay. Wait. So you've never…?"

"Changed anyone?" I guessed, shaking my head. "No."

"Oh." She grew quiet again, retreating into herself. I watched her carefully again, wishing I could glean something—_anything_—from her mind, but was yet again met with a blank wall. After a moment, she spoke softly again. "Can I ask you something?"

Of course she had questions. Likely more than I could ever hope to answer. I'd been both waiting for and reading this moment. She'd woken up in this new life, and even though she seemed to remember my family and myself, she must have felt so lost. Though Alice and Emmett and even Jasper went to school with her, she didn't _know_ any of them. They were not her friends, and only met with her in passing in the halls. She didn't really _know_ any of us, least of all me. And now she was tied to us—to me. For eternity.

"Of course," I choked out. It was strangled and afraid, knowing that I might give her the reason to run from us with any number of responses.

I don't know what I was really expecting of her, what I was thinking she'd ask. A thousand questions ran through my mind, ones that I, myself, had asked when I'd woken up to a distraught Carlisle. I remembered all the questions Esme had asked when she finally gained the reason to do so, and how her tiny body had shook with grief at the answers. I remembered the dry sobs and the tears that would not come. And the racing thoughts of fear and longing and regret.

"Why?"

Her question was simple and tentative. She spoke so softly it was carried, echoing, on a gust of wind that pulled again at her hair and brushed over her face. I knew what she was asking. It was the one I'd been anticipating the most, and it was probably the only one I couldn't answer. Because I didn't know _why_ I'd changed her, only that I never had a choice _not_ to.

"Why," I repeated. "Why did I—"

"Leave," she said abruptly, cutting me off. The single word stilled me completely, and I felt my mouth drop open as I let it sink in what she was _truly_ asking me. "Why did you leave? After…after you saw me? After my first day in school? You saw me, and then you left. Right? I was just wondering…why?"

I couldn't move. I couldn't take in an unnecessary breath, I couldn't even _think_. Had she just asked me why I _left _six months ago? Of all that she could have required of me, she's asked this. I didn't know what to say, so I simply sat there. She mistook my silence, and began to fidget with her hands in her lap again.

"It was because of me, wasn't it?"

Her voice shook with something I didn't completely understand, but that broke my still heart nonetheless. I moved to her again, this time quickly and purposefully. I pulled on her hands and forced her to look at me.

"Of all the things you could ask me," I said shaking my head. "Bella, I wasn't strong enough. Yes, you are the reason I left—"

She shook her head away and averted her eyes, but I would not let her misunderstand. I tilted her chin up so that she could look into my eyes.

"You would have been my _undoing_. Hell, even away, you almost were. You're blood was too much for me. I'd never wanted anything as badly as I had that day. In that Biology lab, Bella, I nearly drained you, taken you. And I was afraid. I was afraid I couldn't resist the temptation that you were for me, the way your blood called to me, so I left. I wanted to take your life, Bella, and I _couldn't _do that to you. I left, because I was afraid what would happen to _you_ if I stayed."

I held her there, hoping that I'd conveyed the reality of why I'd left, and she breathed out shakily.

"But," she said softly, "you _didn't_. When I was dying and bleeding. You _didn't_."

"No," I told her, completely unraveled by her. "I didn't."

I expected her to ask 'why' to that as well, but she didn't say anything. We simply stared at each other, waiting for something from the other. But it was not uncomfortable. I felt at peace with her in a way that I'd never imagined possible. I'd always been a part of a family, and even when I was off on my own, I'd know that they were there waiting for me to return, but I never felt like I'd belonged anywhere until now. I had a new direction, a new set of possibilities, like there was some wild and un-traversed road waiting for me to blaze. She gave me new purpose, this newborn vampire that surprised me every moment of her existence. Was it because I was her mentor? Because she needed me to guide her? I didn't know.

"Are they expecting us back?" she asked, shaking me out of my thoughts. Her eyes twinkled with a strange kind of knowing, and she smiled.

I'd disregarded the time until now, and I was suddenly unsure of how I'd let that happen. Never before had I been so distracted to simply let the minutes tick by unwatched. I nodded at her.

"I'm sure. They probably think that you've ripped me limb from limb and taken off by now."

She giggled, and the noise was like a halleluiah chorus to my ears. In an instant, she was standing above me, offering her hand to help lift me up. I looked between it and her face incredulously before springing up in an instant on my own. She raised her eyebrows at me playfully. We walked at human pace for a while, heading toward home.

"They love you," she said. "Your family, I mean. They missed you while you were gone. I could tell."

I didn't miss the fact that she seemed to know that even as a human. That she _saw_ that, as a human.

"They do, certainly, but my life with them has always been complicated. I've always been with them—I was the first—but I've never really been _one_ of them. I've always been just me, the extra vampire in the coven. Them. And me."

She smiled sadly, a wistful expression on her beautiful face.

"Always?" she whispered, nervously—hesitantly. "_Still_?"

Newborns were dangerous. There was strength and anger and the raw, unbridled power that their change brought. And though she proved to possess an unnatural amount of control, she still had that potential. It was there, simmering underneath her unnerving control. But _that_ was not what I feared most from her. I realized at that moment, even apart from the physical strength she had over me, she was much more dangerous to _me_ than anyone else. Her question was evidence of that.

"I don't know," I told her quietly, as we began to pick up pace. "I really don't know."

And _that_ was the biggest lie I could tell.

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**End Notes:** Thanks for reading, as always. I'd love to know what you thought. My hubby tells me that the hunt was pretty darn hot, and I think he wanted me to leave him alone with this chapter for a while…

Anywho, let me know what _you_ thought of it.

Oh, and I'm polling the audience. I want to find out how many of you would come chat with me on a Twilighted thread, if there was one. Just taking statistics =)

Leave me review-love! Thanks!


	7. Chapter 7: Keeping Secrets Telling Lies

**Author's Note:** Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. It appreciates each and every word. It seems that you are really all liking Bella. I think she's really going to win your heart. You'll get to see more this chapter.

Okay, I'm going to bite the bullet and start a Twilighted (dot) net thread on the forums there. The overall consensus was that you might like to join me, get spoilers, chat about Edward's general "duh-ness" when it comes to his feelings, ect. SOOOOO, I'll do it, but I hope you all WILL join me. I hate being that author that starts a thread for themselves just to be the only one posting. I hope to get to that by the end of the week, so keep an eye out for it. It will be in the "Alternate Universe" section.

**EDIT: **Starla created a thread for me over there! Thanks again, dear! WooHoo! You can find it at http://www (DOT) twilighted (DOT) net/forum/viewtopic (DOT) php?f=33&t=9907. Join us!

Also, and I REALLY should have mentioned this a LONG time ago: squarepancake was brilliantly awesome enough to make me a blinkie! Yay! So if you'd like that, let me know. Thanks, dear, for doing that! It's really great! If you visit the forums, I have it in my signature. That can be found on the Twilighted thread as well, in multiple sizes.

Anyway, on to the words. =)

**Chapter 7: Playlist Song: She's So High, by Tal Bachman. **(LOVE this song, and it's surprisingly fitting)

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 7: Keeping Secrets, Telling Lies**

"I don't understand, Carlisle! Why am I having such a hard time getting a grip on her? It's like she's slipping through my fingers every time!"

Jasper let out a frustrated growl just as we walked through the front door. He clutched at his wavy blond hair in desperation and sighed loudly. Apparently, our absence hadn't given him any resolution or comfort.

I could hear them inside as we approached, all talking about the new vampire with me. When we were inside the door, she paused, and I nearly bumped into her. They'd all stopped talking out loud at the sound of our entrance, all eager to know her.

"Come on," I whispered, leaning down behind her ear. "They don't bite."

She looked behind her and smiled at me knowingly, shaking her head at my bad joke, and I returned it. I gently placed my hand on the small of her back to lead her towards the living room where they were all grouped in a semi-circle around the coffee table in the very center of the room.

Carlisle and Esme were seated on the long white couch, holding hands. Across from them, Alice was settled on the arm of the sofa's twin, while Jasper paced behind the couch. Emmett was in a plush recliner at the end of the sofa's facing our entry point, and Rosalie was perched next to him on the arm of the chair, reclining into his open arm.

I was not surprised to see all of their eyes trained towards us as we entered the room. Their thoughts were tentative—as I expected them to be—and all but Alice has questions for us. My little sister sat bouncing in joy at our return, and I saw the image of Bella hunting flash through her head.

I was not prepared for the way that image would affect me, the reminder of how it looked and felt to watch her, replaying in someone else's mind. Seeing what Alice had seen was like watching it from a whole new perspective, and I was once again captivated by its beauty.

My father clearing his throat shook me out of my Bella-induced haze. I looked up to see him eyeing me suspiciously, and I smiled sheepishly. Everyone else was watching me too, anxious to know how the hunt went. Esme moved to sit on the coffee table in front of him, motioning for us to join the group and sit. Bella halted.

"How did it go?" Carlisle asked.

"Perfectly," I told them all, gently nudging her further into the circle. "She did wonderfully. Took down a buck, first try. I hardly had to tell her how. She followed her instincts effortlessly—_amazingly_."

The family physically relaxed from the words. They were coiled tightly to find out the news, and the positive report was enough to ease their worries. Jasper remained agitated, however, and as the rest of them leaned instinctively toward us in warmth, he remained back, separated from the group.

Carlisle and Esme beamed at the tiny girl in front of me. Alice continued to bounce happily.

_Edward,_ she thought. _She's a natural. It's like she was _born_ to be with us._

I shot her a look of irritation before returning my attention to Bella.

"Wonderful," Carlisle said, his expression igniting. Though it pained him that her life had been taken, he found comfort in the fact that she had thus far adapted to the change so well. While we'd been away, the rest of them had been talking about her remarkable first moments. None of them understood her, but they'd all agreed on one thing: she was amazing.

I wholeheartedly agreed.

I looked down to see Bella watching her feet nervously.

"I, uh. Well, I made a mess of myself." She looked up to Alice and Esme. "Sorry."

Their faces registered the levels of shock that they were feeling, and all of them quickly looked at me for some kind of understanding, some answer as to why she'd be apologizing so early in her newborn life. They hoped I'd managed to gain some sort of understanding during the hunt. I smiled and shrugged, indicating that I was as clueless as the rest of them. Quickly, Esme recovered and approached Bella, taking both her hands.

"Oh, dear, don't worry about that. It's nothing." She didn't hesitate to touch her, or to move quickly, as she might have done with another newborn. There was no reluctance to speak with her and treat her as any one of us. She didn't have the fear of her newborn strength. "You wouldn't _believe_ how good I've gotten at getting blood stains out of clothes. Emmett comes home with them all the time."

Bella smiled and relaxed as she looked back over her shoulder at me.

"Edward said as much."

Esme cocked her eyebrow at me, looking between the two of us. Her mind was relatively silent, but there was a questioning tenor to her thoughts. Almost smug from our exchange.

"Hey!" Emmett said from his place on the sofa, only slightly insulted that his messy eating habits had been a topic of our discussion. His big, goofy grin indicated that he did not take it personally. Rose nudged him playfully, shooting him a look of mock annoyance.

"Well, you _do_," she said. "Emmett, I've never seen anyone who's as big a slob hunting as you." Rose rolled her eyes at her big husband beside her and shook her head. He looked at her shocked, dropping his jaw and bringing his hand up to his chest dramatically. His chest swelled at the inner joy he was getting from this exchange.

Bella giggled, and all eyes snapped to her. My hand still rested on the small of her back, and I felt the reverberations travel through my fingertips straight to my core. Everyone was shocked by the sound of it, but it didn't affect anyone as much as me. She had a way of continually dropping me to my knees.

"Maybe we can learn together, huh?" She told Emmett, who quickly shook his surprise and laughed along with her. Her apparent joy was infectious, and soon, we were all laughing with them. Alice hopped up from her perch once the levity had died down and held out her hand.

"Come on," she said, an excited glint in her eye. "We'll get you something new to wear."

Bella watched her hand cautiously for a moment before tentatively grasping it. Alice squeezed it lightly and tugged her away to get her a fresh change of clothes. I stifled the growl that threatened to rip through my throat at the distance that my little sister was putting between us. My body tensed as Bella looked back at me. I thought that I saw the tiniest hint of worry—or _pain_?—flash across her face. I nodded reassuringly to her, urging her to go with her. Because while I wanted nothing more than to grab her back and hold her close to me, I knew she was safe with Alice. Well, as relatively safe as one could be accompanying Alice into a closet, that is.

I watched her walk up the stairs with Alice, and sighed. I didn't need to turn to know they were all watching me, waiting for the details.

"Edward," Carlisle said, "tell me what happened. I want to know everything." I'd been expecting this, not only from the curious tenor of his thoughts, but because they'd heard about our hunting trip from Alice. And they didn't only want the intricate details of our hunting trip, but also wanted to know why I thought she was behaving in such a way.

"It was the same as when she first woke up. She has control, feels a wide range of emotions, can pull herself out of the instinctual draw. She was in pursuit, but stopped to ask me a question." I shook my head, remembering her hesitance and worry at her lack of knowledge. "I don't understand. I've never seen anything like her."

The tone of my voice became wistful. Even I noticed it.

"It's something we should be careful of," Jasper said. "Newborns are what they are. I don't know how she's doing it, but she must be bottling it up somehow. Keeping it contained. There is the potential that it might break free at the worst time."

I scowled, though I knew that what he said had some merit. Even Carlisle had never seen a newborn that had such tendencies, and he'd seen so much in our world. Knowing jasper's history, I could see where he'd feel that way. Out of hundreds—maybe thousands—of newborn vampires, not even one of them was able to do what Bella had done. And that meant that she was a potential danger to us. But those facts did not make it any easier for me to listen to him. I took a personal grievance with what he said about Bella. Though I knew I had no proof, I _knew_ she would not suddenly burst forth and let the newborn tendencies take over. Something strong inside me told me that this was just who she was.

"Well, I don't care," said Emmett. "I think it's great. So what if you've never seen anything like her before? You'd never seen anything like Edward before, with his talent, right?"

Jasper nodded slowly, and I felt the swelling in my chest from my larger, more boisterous brother's support. Carlisle was analyzing his theory, and seemed to agree, at least in part that Bella's unheard-of control was similarly like my talent. Carlisle knew that talents could range widely, and he was wondering what the possibility was that this was hers. What could she have taken from her human life that translated into such a peculiar gift? Esme was pleased to see Emmett defending his newest sister.

"It's not the same," Jasper said. "She's all over the place—just like a _newborn_—but she's not letting them out. I _think_. It's like I can feel them, spinning around inside her, but she never lets them free so that I can use them. Like they are made of nothing more than air."

"I'm just saying," Emmett continued. "Maybe this _is_ her gift. Maybe she can reign in her abilities, control them—_protect_ them—even the chaotic ones. You never know."

Carlisle was already thinking about the scope of her gifts and what that meant. I wasn't sure that was even what it was, but it was worth analysis. He contemplated placing a call to Eleazar.

"_Obviously_," Rose said from beside Emmett, "we need to watch her, keep an eye on her, but we'd have to do that anyway. There's no point in _worrying_ about it. If she is more controlled, that's all the better for us."

All of us had snapped back to her, and my eyebrows rose at her choice of wording.

"_We_?" I said, smirking at her change in temperament.

Rose's eyes widened when she realized what she'd said.

"You," she replied hastily, "I meant, _you_!" I couldn't help from smiling at the surprising way that she had been thinking about Bella—almost like a family member. I don't know what the change was, or why she'd let her guard slip for that brief moment, but I couldn't help the joy it brought me. She glared at me and narrowed her eyes. "Shut up, Edward! I'm just saying, if I don't have to put up with a psychotic newborn, the better off _I'll_ be."

The old Rosalie was securely in place again, and her thoughts were bitter about the new girl in our lives. Still, I knew that it was a façade, for the most part. She'd made a mistake. She'd let me see.

Bella and Alice chose that moment to return. I'd known they were coming, of course, since Alice had told me as much through her thoughts, but I was surprised nonetheless. I was finding that Bella was always surprising me. Alice had dressed Bella in a simple summer dress of deep blue cotton that hit her at the knees. Something about it was natural, not overly feminine, but pretty on her nonetheless. The breath caught in my throat, and I ran my hands through my disheveled hair. They joined me, and I looked at Alice quickly. I was near panic as Bella sidled up next to me. Alice smirked smugly.

_Well, Edward? What do you _think_?_

I let out a loud gust of air that I'd apparently been holding. Bella's expression was one of curiosity and wariness.

"Alice insists on dressing me like a Barbie doll, apparently," she whispered softly, peering up at me through her lashes. I could tell that she seemed uncomfortable, and I managed to smile down at her.

"You are stronger than her, you know," I told her gently, and her eyes widened."You could take her on with little difficulty. But if it matters, I think you look perfect."

Our gazes locked for what felt like years, until Alice cleared her throat.

_Really, Edward? How can you be _so _unaware? _

She marched past us to rejoin her husband's side, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing him slightly with joy. The sight was not overly affectionate, but I felt a slight twinge of regret course through me at their display of love.

I returned my attention to Bella, who was still waiting cautiously at the foot of the stairs. I didn't attempt to place my hand back on the small of her back, or take her hand. Despite the fact that I couldn't physically have clammy hands, I worried that she'd somehow know how nervous she'd suddenly made me, just from her mere appearance. I ushered her towards the living room.

We all sat down, Bella in the middle of our group where Esme had left us seats on the couch, and me next to her. She looked at all of us, her head darting quickly between us, her eyes alit with slight panic. Though I wasn't worried that she'd exhibit any newborn tendencies—as Jasper was—I reached over and took her hand to help ground her. She noticeably relaxed with the gesture.

I watched, mesmerized, as she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and sighed.

Jasper let out a string of profanities in his mind that could have made a navy man cringe.

"Bella," Carlisle said slowly, "how are you feeling?"

"Strange, I suppose. It's a lot to take in."

"It is," he agreed with a wry smile. "Do you have any questions for us?"

She looked briefly to me and shook her head quickly.

"Not really, though I'm sure things will come up along the way. Edward answered all of my questions, really, though the sparkling was a little bit of a surprise."

"Ah, yes. _That_ is something that the myths don't really cover."

Her face darkened for a moment before she quickly shook her head, and then nodded in agreement. I didn't understand why that comment had made her retreat into herself, but it seemed to pass quickly.

"Yeah, Bram Stoker's _Dracula_ certainly didn't glitter in the sun." The whole family chuckled, and she smiled at the magical sound. "You sound different than I remember. _I_ sound different than I remember."

"It's part of our appeal," Esme told her, suddenly solemn. "To humans. Part of who we are."

"Why I'm so _pretty_," she said, looking down at her lap. Her free hand reached over to the one that I was holding, and she played with her fingernails there. Hot anger bubbled up inside of me so severely, that it took all my concentration to keep myself stationary.

"No," I said through gritted teeth. She looked up at me. Her eyes were sad and apprehensive. Esme reached over and touched her arm, evidence of her motherly nature.

"No, dear," she spoke softly, turning Bella's attention from me, and thus saving me. "The vampirism only helps to highlight our existing features. It can't _create_ beauty, only _amplify_ it."

She smiled slightly and I relaxed.

"Well, then you all must have been amazingly beautiful as humans too." Her eyes darted up to mine briefly before she averted her gaze.

"Yep," Alice said, "and you fit _right_ in."

There was silence for a long time, as we all waited on her. Carlisle was full of questions for her, hoping he'd have an opportunity soon to discuss her transformation. Esme just wanted to wrap her arms around her and show her love, and Alice wondered how long it would be before she felt comfortable amongst all of us. She desperately wanted Bella as the friend that she'd always dreamed of. Emmett still couldn't believe the level of control she exhibited, and continued to run through all of the potential known gifts she could have that would cause that. Rosalie wondered what her angle was, whether she was genuine, and Jasper lingered behind the others, worried about when her control would slip. He was making battle plans for such an occasion.

"So," Bella finally asked, "Are there other myths that _are_ accurate?"

"Sure," Emmett piped in, "a couple of them."

"Occasionally, they get something right," I told her. "Stories tend to change with time, after each generation has passed it down to the next. For most of the myths, they are just very old fables and superstitions. But on occasion, a very perceptive human has seen something the others miss—that they overlook. Stories from these observant humans became legend, but are grounded in truth."

"Like?"

"Well, our speed and strength, for one thing," I told her. She nodded, remembering out hunt with a warm smile.

"And, the temperature of our skin," Alice added.

Bella cocked an eyebrow and snorted.

"You're not cold to the touch," she said to me, and then her eyes searched out everyone else's. I chuckled softly, missing at that moment the fact that she seemed to understand more than was spoken aloud.

"Not to you, Bella. You're the same temperature as we are."

She looked up at me and bit her lip in embarrassment.

"Oh, yeah."

"There's the ageless immortality, though we can be destroyed by certain means. And, of course, we drink blood," Carlisle interjected. "And can turn others to our kind."

I tensed. She contemplated that for a moment and nodded slowly, taking it all in. I thought she might ask more about that, like how our immortality could end, but she didn't.

"And everything that's _wrong_?"

Emmett laughed loudly.

"Garlic, crosses, holy water, stake through the heart?" he laughed. "All bogus." She smiled knowingly, obviously amused by him.

"So if you tick me off, I can't come after you with a wooden stake?" she said playfully.

"Nope," he said, smiling at her with a joyous glint in his eye. "I'd turn that sucker into toothpicks, right off of my pectorals!"

She cocked her head to the side and giggled, likely imagining the sight. Again, the whole family was struck by her, this miraculous little vampire beside me who managed to joke with Emmett the day she woke. Rose tried to hide it, but she too marveled at her for a fleeting moment, and tried desperately to hide the smile.

"You might try his head," she said rolling her eyes at her husband. "Though it's harder than any other part of him, I think he might have a soft spot up there somewhere."

At that, Emmett rose to his feet and swept Rosalie up into his arms, tickling her and muttering obscenely about her 'not saying that his head was the hardest part last night.' I rolled my eyes and groaned at their overly-affectionate display, cringing.

"Emmett!" I growled, silencing their passion. He looked at me in question, and I sighed. "Can you _please_ stop that?"

"Okay, okay," he said, shooting me a goofy grin. He plopped Rose back down beside him and returned to his place in the group.

Bella had been watching their antics carefully. The smile was still plastered on her face in amusement, but for the tiniest moment, I thought I saw something else flash over her face—something like longing—and I wasn't sure what to make of it. She sighed softly and looked away.

"So no coffins then either, huh?" she said.

"Oh, goodness, no!" Esme exclaimed with mock-disgust. "Definitely wouldn't fit in with the design scheme I've got going on, wouldn't you say?"

Bella giggled again, and I felt as if I was warming from it. The idea was ridiculous, of course, that the sound of her voice could raise my temperature. But I enjoyed it, and the way I so suddenly felt like my heart was beating and my body was rushing with blood through my veins once again. It was heady.

"Speaking of which," she whispered to Esme, "I'm so sorry about turning the bed over before. I hope it's not ruined."

Esme smiled warmly. "Don't be silly, Bella. An overturned bed in _nothing_ in this house. No harm done."

She nodded thankfully.

"I suppose I'll need a new one, then."

"New one?" I asked.

"Bed," she clarified.

"Well, I don't think you'll _need _one, but if you'd like one, we can certainly see about that," Carlisle said.

She looked between all of us, a confused look on her face. Her forehead wrinkled as she tried hard to understand what we were telling her, and she bit the side of her lip. Before she could ask, I answered.

"You don't need a bed, Bella. You don't _sleep_."

Her eyes widened. She let that sink in and began to worry her lip back and forth.

"Oh," she said meekly.

"Does that upset you?" I asked her gently. Her hand still rested in mine, and I rubbed soothing circles across her skin, hoping it would ease the discomfort this discovery brought on. It surprised me. Of all things that would upset her, it was the _lack of sleep_ that had thus far caused her the most discomfort of our life. At this point, I should have actually expected it.

"No," she said. "It's just a surprise to me. I'm… okay."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I was suddenly overcome with overwhelming guilt again, in a way that I hadn't been since she woke. All the suffering that she'd gone through had nearly been forgotten. I felt like I was taking more away from her, bit by bit. I wished that this life could give as much as it could take, but I feared that it never would. It certainly never had for _me_ before. I could not be like Emmett, who took his existence in stride, and I had no hopeful outlook on the future, simply _feeling_ that everything would be well, like Alice. Having her near me had caused me to momentarily forget what I'd known for eighty-some years. My life was soulless and desolate—it always had been until she woke up and gave me purpose. Like a shining beacon in the night, she'd made me forget that. It hit me suddenly again, knowing that I couldn't give her anything but my devotion back. I didn't think that began to outweigh the despair my actions had caused by even a _fraction_.

She squeezed my hand gently, and leaned over until she caught my gaze.

"Please don't," she whispered. "You have_ nothing _to say you are sorry for. I can't… I don't want you to feel this guilt for all of this."

We sat, staring at each other. I _wanted_ to obey her—wanted to do everything she asked of me—but the fact that I alone had done this to her was what held me captive. How easy it would be if I could simply let it go, live my life as if I had no remorse for it, no conscience! But I could not shake the devastation that I had done one more thing that would be a mark against me. A war raged in me, the selfish part of me fighting an epic battle against the guilt. I bowed my head, away from her, wallowing in my guilt until my families thoughts became too overwhelming to ignore. They were concerned for me, now, the full knowledge of the guilt I bore for this weighing heavily on them all. But, too, they were thankful, that she'd managed to tell me what they'd been saying for days. The emotions swam around us. Jasper sighed in the corner.

I breathed deeply and pushed it aside for the moment, hiding it for all their sakes as I always did. I would not give her verbal confirmation, but if she wanted me to accept her forgiveness, I would make her believe that I could, and I would hide away my guilt and torment from her. It was the very least I could do. If she wanted me to forgive myself, I would make her believe that I _had_. I nodded curtly and her body relaxed.

"Can I ask another question?" Her eyes did not leave me, and I nodded again. "The night you changed me, I was in an accident. What happened? To my truck, and to the other driver?"

"We covered it up," I told her solemnly, "The driver was already dead, and we made it seem as if he was alone there. No one knows what happened. As far as we know, no one knows you were there at all."

She nodded slowly, absorbing the information and accepting it, not pressing for any more details. I wondered if someday she would want to know more—and if that was the day she would leave me for my crimes.

"And Charlie?" she whispered. "My father?"

Everyone took a sharp, unnecessary intake of breath. We'd know she would ask about her father, and to be truthful, I'd wondered why she didn't ask right away. From what Carlisle had said of him, Charlie and Bella were very close. I couldn't imagine the pain that the knowledge of _his _pain would cause her.

_Be careful__**, **_Jasper warned. _This could be enough to set her off._

He was braced for her to fall apart, and I grasped her hand tightly.

"He's looking for you," I told her simply, gauging her reaction carefully.

She sighed sadly, her lip quivering ever so slightly, but otherwise had no other outward reaction. She still continued to perplex Jasper.

"He must be so afraid. I wish he didn't have to go through this."

The sadness in her voice was agony all my own, and I turned away from her in despair. I hadn't been nauseous in over eighty years, but I felt now as though I would be ill. Wave after wave of guilt surged through me. I was thankful, at that moment, that she could not cry tears. If I had to see her weep for her father, I thought it might break me completely. It was bad enough that I had to watch her suffer for the turns of her own life, but to know she also suffered for her father was like someone was clenching my heart tightly in their fist. The agony of it made me bend over slightly. If tears had rolled down her face, I'd never have survived it.

"I understand that this is how it has to be. I just wish I'd had a chance to say goodbye to him."

"We'll be here for him," Carlisle told her, placing a tender hand on her shoulder. His chest swelled with affection for her, and he silently hoped that someday she would look at him merely _half_ the way that she saw Charlie. He never wanted to replace him, but he hoped that she would accept him as an satisfactory stand-in. I was struck by his thoughts more than anyone else's at that moment. "Maybe someday, you'll be able to do just that."

She nodded and managed at tiny, forced smile.

Esme reached forward and placed a hand on the hand I was _not _holding.

"I'm sorry that you are worried about your father, Bella," she told her, "and that there is sadness so great in your young life, but I promise, there are _good_ things that outweigh the bad. _Amazing_ things. You just have to find them. The rest of us will watch him while you adjust, help him as best as we can. Carlisle is right. Perhaps, with time, you be able to see him."

Esme looked briefly at me while she spoke, with determined eyes. I thought perhaps, that her speech was as much for me as for Bella. Bella's eyes darted to mine with an expression that I couldn't read clearly.

"I'm not sure he would believe it was me, anyway," she whispered. Esme smiled warmly at her.

"Dear, a parent knows their child, whether they been gone long or not. Or whether they look a little different. Someday, you be able to show him how happy you are."

I furrowed my brow, trying to understand. Esme was not lying to Bella, I knew. She was honestly happy in the life that we lived. To her, her life was complete with her change, even despite the pain that she'd gone through in its course. But how could she know that Bella would be happy? I _prayed_ that she'd be happy, but Esme sounded so sure.

The solemn mood was affecting Jasper greatly. Everyone was thinking about their own change, and all those they'd left behind. They'd thought about it many times in their vampire life, but Bella made it that much more poignant. Her pain seemed to transform their own, opening them and bleeding them dry like fresh wounds.

Emmett couldn't take it anymore.

"Alright, that's enough," he said, popping up out of his seat. I smiled at him, knowing what he had planned. "You guys are driving me nuts. Let's go. Let's see what she can do."

Bella's eyes widened at him, obviously wondering what he had planned.

"Alice said you were fast on your little hunt? Well, I want to see _how_ fast." He shot her a mischievous grin. Her eyes softened and she narrowed them at him. He managed to shake her out of her sadness, distracting her as only Emmett could do.

_There you go, brother, _he thought.

She stood up, letting my hand fall softly from hers, and put her hands on her hips.

"Alright, _grandpa_," she said sassily, "Let's go."

Emmett let out an exuberant guffaw at her retort. The rest of the family chuckled at her unexpected gumption, and he came up beside her and threw his arm over her shoulder. She didn't flinch in the slightest, though I made sure he knew that _I_ was slightly unhappy with the effort. I wasn't quite sure why I bristled, but something about it felt intrusive. I felt like taking his arm clear off his body and that fact startled me. He glanced back at me, shook his head and snorted.

"Grandpa, huh? You, be careful, little lady. Edward is older than I am."

She turned to shoot me a small smile, biting her lip. My stomach clenched with something raw and unbridled.

"Yeah," she said coyly, "but I'm not worried about _him_ breaking his hip."

Emmett let out another boisterous laugh and Alice and Rosalie giggled. Esme shot Carlisle a look. Then they looked at me. I rolled my eyes at all of them.

_Oh, Edward. You are _so _in trouble._

I exchanged looks with Rosalie, indicating that I'd heard her.

"You know," Emmett said to her, as they walked with all of us in tow to the back yard, "I'm thinking that I'm pretty glad that Edward was such a dumbass that night. What were you doing out there, by the way? The night of the accident?"

I tensed at the same time her eyes widened, and for a moment she looked like a deer in the headlights.

"Oh, um. I was coming home from a party," she said softly, stumbling through the words and stopping to face us all. "I was supposed to stay, but…well, I really _hate_ parties and I didn't want to stay any longer. So I came home."

She averted her eyes and played with the hem of her dress. Emmett took notice of her quick change in mood, and quickly diverted her attention again with a comment about how her timing matched mine. It earned a small smile from her, and once again, he had her distracted by his excitement.

They all noticed the way she startled from his question, and the way she seemed almost embarrassed by her answer. Concerns rushed through all their heads, and Emmett silently apologized for his question. They wondered how touchy a subject it was. And while I, too, was concerned about this, it is not what caused me the most alarm.

No. It was that, suddenly and without any interference for the first time that day, Jasper had gotten a solid, tangible lock on her.

_She's hiding something, Edward._

Jasper's tone was only slightly smug, overwhelmed by his worry and caution. I nodded, knowing that he was right.

Bella Swan was keeping something from all of us.

* * *

Later, after Bella had successfully kicked Emmett's tail in every event he could think to compete against her in, we had all settled into our normal evening activities. Emmett went off with Rosalie to sulk and lick his wounds—which I was pretty sure would be something that involved something obscene between the two of them. I cringed at the thought.

Alice and jasper had gone to hunt. While jasper was still wary of her, he'd begun to open up to the fact that this might just be part of her gift—she was infectious in her charm. Nonetheless, he'd needed to get away. She'd asked me later if she'd done something wrong, that he didn't like her, but I explained that he was simply unsure around her. Jasper had had the most difficult time adjusting to our lifestyle, and to see her—a _newborn—_already so fluent in some aspects of our life, threw him off guard. I promised her he'd come around, and she nodded. I didn't tell her he was suspicious of her.

Carlisle had decided to fill in a shift at the hospital, confident in the fact that Bella could be handled by just Esme and me. Esme was upstairs drawing. Her likeness of Bella was remarkable as she scribbled furiously, smiling to herself and humming one of the romantic lullabies I'd composed for her and Carlisle.

Bella was still having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that she would not sleep. We'd settled in the living room with a pile of books after learning that it was one of her favorite activities. I hoped that this would make her feel at home. Her eyes lit up when she'd seen the library.

I watched her carefully out of the corner of my eye as she paged through the books quickly. After riffling through a stack, she sighed and plopped it down.

"At this rate," she said, "I'll be through the entire library by the end of the week. I wasn't anticipating sleeplessness."

Though she seemed irritated, she still managed a playful smile. I returned it.

"Alice can always order you books online. Any excuse to shop," I told her.

She giggled and closed her eyes, leaning against the back of the couch.

I watched her, _intrigued_ by her. She was still as stone, except where her chest rose and fell in a gentle rhythm with the unnecessary breaths she took in. To the unknowing observer, she'd _appeared_ to be sleeping.

The moonlight shone through the window and caused her skin to illuminate against the dark night sky outside the large picture windows. Her lips turned up into a tiny smile and she held it there. Like so many times in the span of the last few days, I'd wished that I could know her her—really _know_ her—through the content of her mind. She looked peaceful, almost happy, lying back against the white cushions.

Like a marble statue of Venus, she was like grace and purity, the picture of innocence. But then again, she was perhaps _not_. My mind clouded with the memories of our earlier discovery. And I sighed.

"Can I ask you something?" I whispered into the still room.

"Sure," she replied, keeping her eyes closed as she breathed in and out, in and out.

"Why were you at a party, if you hate them so much?"

Her eyes popped open as she searched mine out. I saw a flash of hesitance, followed by sadness, and then finally replaced with regret.

"It was my dad's Idea." She spoke slowly, sitting up straighter and playing with her now-clutched hands in her lap. "He knew it was going on, and suggested I go. I suppose I hoped that it would make him happy. I was really wrong, huh?"

Her eyes were sad as she thought about this. I couldn't imagine the guilt Charlie Swan must have been feeling, knowing that the party _he'd_ suggest she attend was the thing that took her away from him. No, that wasn't true—I understood that _exactly_—the way that one's actions could end this beautiful creature's life. I made a mental note to tell Carlisle this information as soon as possible. Perhaps Charlie would need to be watched closer than we'd anticipated.

I moved over to her and took her hand. I rubbed small circles over her knuckles and wrist, hoping it would give her relief as it had seemed to before.

"Why would your father suggest that you go?" I asked quietly. Her hand tensed ever so slightly.

"I guess he hoped it would help me," she said wistfully. She didn't go any further with that, and I didn't push her, though I was even more confused. She averted her eyes away from me, but when I looked up, I could see her in the reflection off the glass. She looked…_embarrassed_. Her eyes caught mine and she turned around to face me again. "Can we talk about something else, please?"

I nodded, unhappy at the way the conversation had gone. I had hoped that by asking her this, I'd be able to find out what it was that she was keeping from us—from _me—_but it had only hurt her more.

"I really _am_ sorry you know," I muttered.

She pondered me for a moment, tilting her head to the side.

"I know that, for whatever reason, you feel guilty about changing me into _this_. But I want you to know, Edward, that I don't… hold you responsible, if that's what you think, or have any kind of resentment for it. It's _shocking_—this whole thing—and there are parts of it that are painful, but there's not really a single choice in life that doesn't reap those kinds of things. I understand that, and this life doesn't feel like a sacrifice to me. I suppose, in a way, I always dreamed that this was possible—that something like this, you, _me_—existed. I always imagined that there was another life—another _kind_ of existence—out there. I'm only beginning to understand how true that is."

I watched her carefully for a moment before she continued, squeezing my hand softly.

"Edward, I don't _want _you to regret the fact that I'm like you. _Please_," she begged, her voice breaking at the end.

There was a kind of sadness to the way she spoke, but not about her new life. It was as if she saw me as her redeemer, the one who'd saved her from something else. I didn't understand. What could have possibly caused her so much anguish that she'd see a monster like me as redemption incarnate? I vowed to find out what had caused her to relish this life as if it was her salvation.

It was at that moment that I realized the vast differences between us. Though she was made of the same material as me—shared my venom, even—there was heaven and earth between us. I became more resolved in my quest to understand her, and if it could be done, save her soul, too. Because her gracious nature and forgiving depth made me see how truly separate we were.

As long as I lived, I knew, I would never deserve her.

And _now_, I understood that I _desperately_ wanted to.

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**End Notes:** Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought. I'm excited to hear everyone's theories about our little Bella's deep dark secret. (Hint: It's _not_ that deep and dark.). Bella _is_ hiding something, but it's more because she's ashamed to have them know than her being overtly deceptive. I'll leave you with that! Take care until next time!


	8. Chapter 8: Poison Peaches & Ballerina D

**Author's Note:** _Whew!_ Sorry for the delay kids. I was hoping to have this posted already last weekend, but we were traveling for the holiday, and while I had intention to get it done, I didn't actually get as far as I wanted. Yada, yada, yada.

I also want to apologize from the bottom of my heart for all you wonderful people that left me fabulous reviews and theories. I am almost embarrassed that I never got a chance to get back to you. I've never let that happen, and I don't intend to let it again. Please know that I read every one, and was so grateful for each of them. I do have to say, though, that some of you are _right _on track. It was fun for me to hear all that you had to say about Bella's little secret.

Also, I have a THREAD! Thanks to Starla for setting that up for me. It's on the twilighted forum site. Link's on my profile. Come see. There was even a teaser for this chapter!

I allude to a certain piece of art in this chapter. It holds some weight in the story. The link is up on my profile, along with the playlist so far and some other _Entwined_ goodies. I highly suggest checking that all out as you get closer to it.

This is an important chapter. You'll see.

Anyway, thanks for reading and sticking with me. Welcome to all my new readers. Thanks for joining me. I hope you'll consider leaving a review =)

**Chapter 8: Playlist Song: Over My Head, **by the Fray

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 8: Poisoned Peaches and Ballerina Daydreams**

I'd spent the last eighty-seven years observing people. I knew what their facial expressions meant, what every sigh and gesture alluded to, all their innermost thoughts displayed predictably on their faces. Years and decades of correlating inner feelings and outward reactions, I thought I could truly grasp what anyone was thinking just from the sparkle in their eye or the twitch of their cheek—and what their next actions would be from it. I thought I understood the world, how humans and vampires alike reacted, but as I stood watching the pretty little vampire with molten scarlet eyes, I found myself questioning everything. Since she'd made her presence in my life—all those months ago, and now again—I felt I knew nothing.

On Wednesday, the rest of my family—_our_ family—returned to school. Alice saw that nothing was going to happen with Bella, and since Esme was around, they all felt comfortable returning. The search for what everyone presumed was Bella's body still continued. There were crews that took shifts scouring the area with a fine-tooth comb, looking for any evidence of her—a blood drop, a piece of tattered clothing, _anything_. Last word was that they had gotten the Quileutes involved, since Charlie was good friends with some of them.

Carlisle was eager to rejoin the search, since I'd shared the news that Bella had attended her doomed party at Charlie's request. He wanted to observe him, to see if there was any sign of danger from him. I knew that he wanted me to come along, to read his mind and know what despairing thoughts he was thinking, but I wouldn't leave Bella. Though she seemed to have an infinite amount of control, she was _my_ responsibility to watch, and I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

He settled, instead, by asking Jasper to come. He, Emmett, and Jasper planned to join the search party when he returned from the hospital that evening. My father's thoughts were ever understanding, but I didn't miss the weariness I got out of him, as if he was disappointed in that decision. Or maybe it was that he felt he understood more about my decision not to leave her than he had voiced, as if I were missing something obvious about myself. He hid it from me well, whatever it was.

I felt the guilt from my decision as poignantly as when I turned her, saddened by the fact that my reactions had caused such turmoil in Bella's life and the life of those that loved her. I knew without question that she was mourned and missed and worried over. Her family was distraught, no doubt, and her friends cried for their presumed loss of her. I saw it clearly on Alice's visions.

I wished that I could muster the desire to be _more_ sorry than I was. I wished I could call on even _more_ guilt and sadness over her turning. I deserved it.

But the fact of the matter was that I couldn't regret it entirely. There was a small, selfish part of me that couldn't bear to feel regret for bring her into my life. I _wanted_ to feel the excruciating angst of being the one to change her, but that small part of me that knew how much I needed her, simply _couldn't_. With each passing moment, that realization became clearer.

I could hear her below me now, tinkering in the bedroom in which she lay burning. I had left her for a brief while, while I spent some time researching Carlisle's notes. I'd wanted so badly to understand the reason for her unbelievable control, but all his journals and discoveries had given me nothing. Three hundred years of research and analysis had allowed for no further answers. Plus, I was incredibly distracted. The fact that I could hear her downstairs, and not actually hear her _thoughts_, was driving me mad. I needed to close the distance and check on her, if only to see for myself that she was alright—that she was real and still with me.

Accepting that I had exhausted his notes for the time being, I sighed and left Carlisle's office, closing the door softly behind me. I made my way down the stairs as quickly and quietly as my vampire speed would allow. I didn't want to startle her. When I reached the second floor, I slowed and snuck, coming to peer around the corner of the doorframe of the last guest room on the left.

Bella sat, her legs tucked up underneath her, trying desperately to piece the broken and mangled bed back together. I stood against the doorframe, watching her struggle with her hands as the frame continued to bend with her effort. She handled the metal with ginger touches, but each time she tried to use a tool or adjust the intricate webbed design and filigree of the headboard, it just bent more. She let out an exasperated sigh as a piece broke off in her hand.

Below us, Esme was pouring over a set of blueprints for a home on the east coast that Carlisle had just purchased for her.

_Please, Edward. Tell her that she doesn't need to do that._

"You know," I said, walking in and plopping down beside her, "Esme was serious when she said not to worry about it."

She simply looked up at me and smiled, the air rushing out between her lips and washing over me.

"I know," she sighed, "but it was so beautiful, and I wish that I could just make it better again. I feel, though, that I'm just making it worse."

We sat in silence for a little while, while she played with the broken pieces next to her. I watched her fingers ghost over them lightly. If I didn't know her amazing strength or see that she'd just struggled with it, I'd think she was in control of her actions. But it was obvious that she was still struggling with holding things and interacting with the world around her. I knew the feelings that went along with that quite well. Each new vampire in the family had struggled with it, breaking things as they tried to adjust to their strength. However, the ability to gauge strength came soon enough. I knew it would for Bella too.

She picked up a brushed cast-iron fleur-de-lis and held it up in front of her face. For a sixth of a second, it remained intact, perfectly positioned between her thumb and her forefinger, before it burst into tiny pieces and fell to the floor. She groaned.

"I think you are over-thinking it," I told her gently. She shot me a look of bewilderment, and I moved slowly closer to her. I picked up another iron flourish that lay, tossed aside, on the floor. Gently, I reached over and took her hand and opened it for her. She took in a sharp intake of breath, but allowed me. I kept her hand, but placed the piece in her palm.

"_Feel_ it," I told her. Her arm rested on top of mine with the way that our bodies were angled. "_Feel_ how it rests in your hand, the way that it affects you, or rather, the way that it is affected _by_ you. It's not the same as it perhaps would have felt before, but there is still some weight, isn't there?"

She didn't answer, and I didn't look at her, but I felt the way her hair brushed my shoulder as she nodded.

"It's as if it were a petal, a delicate blossom. You can hold it, you can feel it, but it must be handled as if it would bruise—as if too much pressure would cause it to wither. It exists in the same world you do, but it is _not_ the same. Don't be afraid of it, but be mindful of it. Know, with all those amazing senses you now possess, that it has limits. Never push it past its limits."

Her breathing was deep and even. I released her hand and it stayed suspended in the air, the broken embellishment still lying there in her palm. Slowly she tilted it and held it up again in her fingers. This time, it did not crumble. This time she held it.

I smiled to myself. "See?"

A gleeful sound escaped her lips.

"Edward," she sighed happily, "I did it."

I was once again unprepared for that sound, the way that it touched my heart and made me quiver with expectations, but before I could react, myself, and analyze how that made me feel, she clenched her hands and the piece disintegrated. She realized what she'd done and sighed again.

I rose, pulling her with me.

"Practice, Bella. It will come. You did well." She smiled wearily at me. "Come on, forget this. It will give Esme an excuse to redecorate. Let's put that strength to some good use."

Her eyebrows shot up and her lips dropped open, and I was suddenly unsure of what I had said to elicit that reaction. I furrowed my brow.

"Hunt, Bella?" I offered, hoping to alleviate some of her sudden panic. Her body relaxed and she let out the breath she'd been holding,

"Oh," she said softly, smiling to herself. "Hunt. Of course."

With that, we left, venturing off into the clear morning.

* * *

We lay down in the grass, her staring at the sky much the same way she had the day before. Again, it was another sunshiny day, though Alice had mentioned that it would storm later. Bella closed her eyes and I watched as her body moved rhythmically with her breathing. She sighed, and the noise was somewhat happy. I continued to watch her, enjoying the completeness of the moment. I felt…_whole._

As we sat in silence, I contemplated the way her vampirism was progressing. Though her eyes were the traditional scarlet red, she was nothing like what I had expected. Each moment surprised me, each new interaction was like nothing I'd ever experienced. It should have frightened me. Three days ago, if I'd experienced a newborn like Bella, I would have approached her with the utmost caution. My logical mind would have overridden anything else, and the only emotion would have been protecting those around me. I would put a newborn like her last among my family, unaware of whether or not she could be a danger to those whom I loved. Like Jasper, I would have found her gift almost daunting and something to be considered untrustworthy.

But Bella had thrown all my caution and reason to the wind.

Now, my first—my _only_—concern was for her. Because I _knew_ that she was of no danger to me or my family.

I was still curious of her, though, despite the surety that she would bring us no harm. I couldn't believe the way she reacted to every little thing. Even for a human, her reactions confused me. I listened to humans all day long, every day, and their inner musings never surprised me. They were mundane and self-righteous. On rare occasion, I would catch a wayward thought that would be honest and reflective. But for the most part, everyone was the _same_. I could predict their actions, partly from a long history of seeing the same things, and partly from reading their minds. I had a feeling, however, that even if I could hear Bella's, I would be amazed.

This morning was no exception.

"Can I ask you something?" I said softly. She turned her head my way and opened her eyes. They were worried, but she nodded. "Why was putting the bed back together so important?"

She sighed and sat up, pulling her knees to her chest.

"I don't know. I suppose I feel bad that it was broken because of me. It's my fault so I think I should fix it."

I watched her for a moment, pondering her carefully.

"It was a beautiful bed," she continued, sighing despondently. It made me smile like a fool.

"But useless," I pointed out. She sighed again and looked away into the trees.

"Yes. Useless."

The tone of her voice caused me heartache, and I frowned at that. She was not only constantly surprising me, but the way I reacted to her was also foreign. I felt like I was being torn in two some moments—there was the part of me that existed six months ago, and the one that I'd now fallen into. I was full of guilt. I'd felt that before, so much so that it shaped the actions of my life, but never before had it felt as if my chest was burning the way it did when _she_ hurt.

"That pains you," I commented, remembering the way that she had looked so forlorn at the knowledge that she wouldn't sleep. She looked over at me again, meeting my eyes with a renewed resolve.

"Yes," she said softly. "I _liked_ sleeping. It was when I was really at peace. There's something magical in sleep. Some things"—she hesitated—" you only get when you dream. Otherwise, they are out of reach."

"Like what?" I asked, moving infinitesimally closer. Her eyes darted to mine, and I briefly saw a look of terror flash over her face. But it was gone in an instant, replaced with careful nonchalance. She shrugged.

"I don't know," she said, looking off into the distance. "Like not tripping over my own feet all the time. Sometimes in my dreams I was graceful. Or having my parents together. Or seeing my grandmother again. Those kinds of things."

Her eyes darted to mine again, and I got the impression that she was hiding something obvious from me, but I knew then that it was not dire. I nodded, and smiled sadly.

"Well, I can't make your parents be together, or bring your grandmother back to you, but I can promise you that you'll never trip again."

She bit her lip and smiled sheepishly.

"My dream come true," she giggled. Shivers ran up my spine at the sound.

"So besides your deepest, darkest dreams of being a ballerina, tell me something else I don't know."

She snorted softly, rolled her eyes and looked down at the ground.

"What do you want to know?"

"Well, what's your favorite color, for starters?" Her eyes rose to meet mine again and she smiled warmly. She closed her eyes and sighed. Her head tilted to the side and she bit her lip through her grin. When she opened her eyes again, they were sparkling with mischief.

"Today," she said softly, "it's blue."

"_Today_?" I repeated. I didn't understand the prerequisite 'today,' and I furrowed my brow. She nodded.

"Yes, today. Because of the sky, and the fact that it's so crystal clear. It's like it's wide open, and I feel if I can just spread my arms and close my eyes, I can fly forever." She _had _closed her eyes and lifted her face up towards the sky, a gentle smile playing on her lips.

Listening to her was like my favorite symphony or like tasting the most glorious nectar. The sound of her voice was like tasting her blood. I _may_ have hummed.

She opened her eyes and her eyebrows rose.

"Yours?"

The question confused me and I must have looked lost and perplexed, because she laughed. "Your favorite color, Edward? What is it?"

"Oh," I said stupidly. Her eyes danced with the amused expression on her face and I found myself lost again, this time in the sparkle of the sunlight on her cheekbones and the way the prisms of her skin made stars in her eyes. "Red. _Today_."

Her mood shifted ever so slightly. The grin dropped from her face and she bit her lip. She averted her eyes from mine and played with her fingers. I instantly regretted my answer, though it had come from somewhere unbeknownst to me. Telling her that the color of her eyes was my favorite was almost subconscious, like I had given up the ability of my own speech. It came from deep within me, where I would have normally said it was that extra color of the spectrum that humans couldn't see. Not anymore.

"Why did you come to live here?" I ventured. I hoped that the change in topic would distract her from my inappropriate comment.

She looked at me again. The hesitance was not gone, but she seemed less reluctant to meet my gaze and she shrugged.

"My mom wanted to travel with her husband, and I figured that it would be good for me to come be with Charlie."

Her face fell again, and she sighed at the thought of her father. My method of distraction was apparently terrible, and I regretted that line of questioning.

"I'm so sorry, Bella."

She met my gaze again full on, and smiled.

"More apologies? This is a trend with you, I see." Her voice was soft, full of emotion, but I could tell she was playing with me. The mood around her lightened just a bit, and I let out a held breath.

"I'm good at saying I'm sorry," I told her. "I have a lot to be sorry for."

"_I_ don't think you have as much to apologize for as _you_ do."

"Alright, enough," I said, rising from my place beside her. "Let's go back. Your blue skies are making way for rain."

I pointed off into the distance where tell-tale black clouds were rolling in on the horizon. It was going to storm, a tempest that would likely come upon us fast.

She sighed and I held out my hand to help her up. Her fingers slipped into mine and she rose easily. As she lifted off the ground and misjudged her strength. Before I could brace her and steady her rising, she was pressed up against me. Her hand was still in mine, held tightly at my waist. Her breasts pressed against my chest as she leaned into me, her whole body flush against me. I trembled with the gentle pressure that she was placing on me, the way that I could feel the erratic rhythm of her breathing as if it were my own, and I stopped breathing in and out, if only to suspend the moment for a second longer—to feel her for just a second more.

She gasped and I felt a shudder course through her, but she did not back away. My body hummed at pressure points that her tiny body pressed against. I looked down at her, frozen. She let out a strangled cry and moved away from me in an instant, leaving me feeling empty and alone in a way I did not recognize.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she gasped, backing away from me. I held tight to her hand, and she looked at it apprehensively. When she tugged slightly, I held fast, unwilling to let her run from me, too afraid that this moment might be our last if I let her hand drop. She was too strong for me to resist, and I knew that if she tugged her hand free to run, I might not be able to stop her. If this would be enough to make her leave me—if the touch of my body and the feeling of me against her was the thing that would make her see the monstrosity of me—I was too afraid at that moment to let her go. She continued to watch our joined hands, a forlorn, desperate look crossing her face, but she relaxed and did not fight my hold.

"Bella," I whispered. Her eyes rose to meet mine again, and the look on her face nearly broke me. I squeezed her hand slightly, because where I expected to see disgust and reluctance, I only saw embarrassment and guilt. At least, that is what it _seemed_ to be to me.

"Please," I begged. "Don't."

I don't know if she understood all that I was telling her—pleading for—but she nodded. Hand in hand, silently, we returned to the house. All thoughts of questions and answers were forgotten.

* * *

By early afternoon, the sky was dark. Shadows played across the large windows all over the house as the rain played its hypnotic music over the roof. On the horizon, large black storm clouds prepared their battle field, two fronts advancing. I stood at the glass wall in the living room and watched it for a while, mesmerized by the way it invoked a kind of fear in me. It was my secret, a private awe that I held for such storms. They could never hurt me, but more than any sunrise was the majesty of a truly powerful thunderstorm as it swept across the sky. Like a great war in the heavens, it embodied true, unbridled, _boundless_ power.

I sighed and leaned my forehead against the glass, feeling the coolness of it in a way that would _not_ make me shudder the way _she_ did. I was alone now. Bella had retreated to the library the moment we got home, and I let her have her space, unsure of what to say. I felt closer to her by the moment, as if each minute I spent in her presence allowed me another look at her peculiar mind, but at the same time, I felt as if I was making all the wrong choices, hurting her with each breath and not understanding how to stop it. I banged my fist softly against the window pane, frustrated with my reactions to her. The wall of glass shook, and I heard Esme from somewhere across the house warn that I would be in 'big trouble, mister' if I cracked the glass. I chuckled un-humorously that I couldn't hear the thoughts of the one person who I so badly wanted to.

As if on cue, Bella entered the room behind me. I was turned away from her, but I could sense her, and I looked up to see her reflection staring at me. Her eyes met mine in the window and for a moment our gazes remained intense and unsure. But then she smiled. My body relaxed and I turned around.

"Did you find anything good?" I asked. Her arms were full of books, and she nodded, looking over the titles. I was confused again. This was so _easy_. Why were there moments that were so difficult?

"I've found a few things," she said simply. "But most I've already read."

She shrugged and I moved to join her side, quickly perusing the large stack of titles she was holding. Hemmingway, Forster, _On the Road,_ Pirsig, _A Clockwork Orange_—things that I wouldn't expect a teenage girl to read at all, and then read _again_. My eyebrows rose at her choices. Among them were classics that seemed more appropriate—_Wuthering Heights _and_ Pride and Prejudice, _and a worn copy of _Anne of Green Gables. _ Her eclectic taste in literature astounded me and I chuckled to myself as I pawed through them.

"Heavy," I said, smirking down at her. I took the books from her arms and placed them on the coffee table. "Come, on. I have something to show you."

She eyed me suspiciously and I held my hand out to her. She took it gingerly, cautiously, but interlaced her fingers with mine. I smiled with unpredictable joy. I led her away from her strange collection of books and up the stairs to the third floor. She looked around carefully as we passed by the various art pieces and collections hanging there. I watched her eyes light up as we meandered slowly down the hall. We passed by Rev. Cullen's cross, and her eyes darted towards mine quickly.

"Carlisle's father was a minister," I explained. "He built it." She nodded and smiled to herself and the irony of it.

"Proof of the myth?" she said, smirking at me. I nodded, feeling the warmth that I'd only begun to grow accustomed to spread through me. Her hand trailed up to trace the wood, dipping in its grooves and crevices with gentle pressure. I wondered if she saw the difference in herself from just that morning.

We travelled further down the hallway at a snail's pace, as she paused and admired each of the pieces there. There was an eighteenth century Maltese Louis XV armchair that Esme had diligently reupholstered along the wall. Bella's body bowed as she ran her fingertips over the cushion, dancing over the golden fabric. She admired a tapestry that Carlisle had acquired from his time in Brussels, and paused at an American Impressionist painting from 1887 that featured bright greens and rolling hills, and blue skies like she'd been so fond of before the clouds had moved in. I watched the emotions dance in her eyes, and she slowly tore herself away from it to move on.

"They're exquisite," she whispered.

"Hmm," I hummed. "Some of Esme's favorite pieces."

She looked up at me, slightly startled.

"Only some?"

"It's amazing what you acquire over the years. Most of what they have is in storage across the country."

"Amazing indeed," she said softly. "I feel like I'm in a museum."

"Hey now," I teased, bumping her gently with my shoulder. "As an artifact myself, I resent that."

She giggled. "It's fascinating to me, you know? I feel like it's a gift for me to see all of these things. As if I were there, I can see, in my mind, where they may have sat or hung, when they were new."

I didn't say any more about that, as we made our way further. I led her down the hallway, musing to myself that it had never taken me so long to get to my intended destination. But I didn't mind, not in the slightest. Watching her walk down the hallway that had become so familiar, perusing the items that were commonplace for me after years of seeing them, was like experiencing it all with new eyes. She was inquisitive and thoughtful, and though I couldn't read her mind, I knew that she understood their value—it was not monetary to her, but rather she found them spectacular because of the time that they represented, their ability to withstand time's heavy hand. Would she see _all_ aged things that way, or was this only those things which she dared to hold and touch?

The door to Carlisle's study was closed. This was our intended destination. The walls were lined with books from every era, categorized by topic. It was the place that Carlisle kept some of his most-loved books, ones that had been written by his friends and companions, or ones that he had as a human man. Here was where he kept his research and the texts that held secrets of our kind in the forms of fables and myths. Some of the pages were so delicate that a single touch might disintegrate them and some of the covers so worn they were no longer legible. Bindings were frayed and warped, pages stained with time. I'd hope she'd love it, this silly little creature who read intelligent stories and had managed to flip my world in less than twenty-four hours—I knew now without doubt that she _would_ love them, even if she couldn't read all of them. But before we even reached the door, I realized she had been preoccupied again.

I heard her small gasp and I turned around quickly at the noise, my senses on alert for the danger that had paused her. She stood, her gaze affixed on the wall before his door, her eyes wide with wonder and her mouth slightly open. I could hear the breath moving in and out of her lungs in quick and steady, forced pants. I turned my attention to the painting before her.

Her eyes were glued there, it's scene framed in bronze that suited it so well—it accentuated the women's breasts and hips and curves of their backs with its matching tone, and offsetting the strings of light and dark that danced between their fingertips. Bella bit her lip as she studied it. Like all the things that decorated this hall, I'd seen it so many times it no longer carried any weight for me. I no longer saw the appeal in it, though it was significant for both my father and my mother. Apparently, Bella found it significant as well.

I reacted on impulse when I stepped behind her. My body hummed with my imposed nearness to her, and I sensed her body stiffen. I couldn't bring myself to pull away, despite the way the air buzzed between our bodies almost uncomfortably. She didn't take her eyes off the piece in front of her, almost as if she was as transfixed by it as I was by her. I leaned in gently and bent down.

"This one is Carlisle's," I whispered to her.

"It's beautiful," she breathed. I turned my head to watch her for a moment and then turned my attention back to the piece of art in front of me. The move was self-preservation embodied.

"He was very fond of the painter—Elihu Vedder," I told her softly. "They met briefly in Italy in the mid-1800's, and then again in New York a few years later, during the Civil War. He was drawn to him, his philosophies, his style, though he was a very young painter at the time. Carlisle didn't discover this particular piece until much later, but it intrigued him. Even if he _hadn't_ known him personally, he would have loved this piece, just because of what it represents."

She turned to me and looked up into my eyes. The move made it so that her back pressed against my shoulder and my arm, as if I were cradling her. I suppressed the desperate shudder that threatened to course through me.

"The Fates?" she asked. "Is that what it is that speaks to him?"

I shook my head and smiled. I shouldn't have been surprised that she knew that, though most high school students likely wouldn't take that much interest in mythology, or be able to understand that's what it was they were looking at. Perhaps I was misunderstanding the content of their minds… or maybe I was simply underestimating _Bella's_.

"Yes," I told her softly. "Or more specifically, the idea of being fated _for_ something. The piece is called _The Fates Gathering in the Stars_. Though Carlisle is more prone to theological musings than one of a secular nature, the concept that _one_ thing could be destined for a person is something that he feels passionate about. He'd always believed in God and his presence, but after he found Esme, he was sure that Fate was something that existed as surely as God himself."

She looked up at me again, though this time she didn't speak right away. Something flashed in her eyes then, something deep and intense. She lowered her voice to the point that I couldn't stop the shuddering this time.

"And what do _you_ believe?"

"In which part?" I asked, through trembling lips, unsure of how this creature could affect me so. "God? Or Fate?

"Both," she whispered. I tore my eyes away from her and focused my attention back on the painting.

"I don't know. About either."

She sighed and returned her attention to it as well. We stood there for a long time, like two terrified animals, backed into a corner. Despite the energy that raced between us, it was strangely comfortable—almost eerily relaxed. I wanted to lean into her, and coax her back onto my chest. I _wanted _to do that, but I hesitated.

"I agree with Carlisle," she said suddenly.

"With which part?"

"Both, I think," she said, cocking her head to the side in contemplation. "I don't know anything specific about God, but I do believe that there is something or _someone_ out there, watching out for us. Guardian angels, maybe. And Fate? I _know_."

There was so much passion in her voice, the way her whole body shook with the certainty in it. I was mesmerized by the cadence of it, the way it wrapped around her words. She was honest, and intelligent, and I began to realize at that moment that I had changed more with her entry into my life, more than I originally anticipated. I knew that there was more to her than I could have seen, even if I could read every thought she'd ever had.

"And what makes you so sure?" I coaxed, leaning in again and whispering in her ear.

"If it _didn't_ exist," she said quietly, "you wouldn't have showed up when you did."

Her eyes sought out mine again, and we watched each other for a long time. The intensity of her molten eyes caught and stilled me and made me ache in the most foreign and despondent of ways. _Nothing could be more painful_, I thought, _than the idea of having her near me_. This was agonizing, the way she was so close, yet so far away. But at the same time, I welcomed it, begged for it, _craved_ it. _She would break me_, I told myself. She would crush me, and not from the strength of her newly-sculpted muscles. Her touch would be like a poisoned peach, succulent and ripe, I was sure—like Eden's fruit—surely I would be damned when it was all taken away. Yet I coveted it, I'd lie and steal for it.

I _lusted_ after it.

I shook myself from this line of thought, afraid of the direction it was taking me, this darkness that threatened to consume me. Like a drug, her nearness was possessing me, distorting all sense of propriety. I took a small step away from her, noticing the way her body relaxed and drooped.

"You call that Fate? I call that bad timing," I joked. I cringed, even as the words left my mouth, knowing that it was a terrible thing for me to say—knowing that it could _hurt_ her—because it was the _exact_ opposite of how I felt. Yes, I believed that she would have been better off in her heaven, far away from a monster like me, but I didn't want her to think I regretted her being there beside me, filing me with warmth I was only beginning to understand. As dangerous as she could be for me, as much as I wanted her happiness and joy, I wouldn't give her away for anything. How selfish I'd suddenly become.

Thankfully, she smiled up at me and nudged me.

"Sick of me already?" she played.

"No," I told her truthfully, almost solemnly. "Not in the _slightest_."

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**End Notes:** The piece of art that Bella falls in love with here is Elihu Vedder's "The Fate's Gathering in the Stars." If you didn't check it out on my profile before, I encourage you to do so now, simply because it is a breathtaking piece of art. I chose it because it not only represents star-crossed fate, but because of the throwback to ancient mythology and style. I imagined that Carlisle would love both those things about it. It is the background to my banner, in case you didn't catch that. Hints of what's to come? _May-_be!

It currently hangs at the Art Institute of Chicago. I'm planning on making a little trip to see it later this summer. I'm SUPER excited. I'm a geek.

Quick factoid: Vedder was _indeed_ in Italy in the mid-1800's and then returned to New York a few years later. He was even in Volterra! He was a fairly young artist at that time, but I could have imagined Carlisle sitting and talking with him, taking in his "aura." Sorry all, I am a research freak, time-line and all. See? Told you I was a geek.

Anyway, thanks for reading! Love you all. Leave me some review-love…I'm going to actually try to get back to you all this time! _**And**_ check out the forum. Come chat and _share_ the love! Thanks!


	9. Chapter 9: Snapshots

**Author's Note:** I was so overwhelmed by the response from this last chapter. Thank you everyone who read and reviewed and favorited. If someone recommended the story, please let me know. I'd love to thank them. So many new faces. Thanks! Awesome! Now… I'd love to hear from you guys. =)

A little surprise at the end for all of you. =)

RECAP: When we last left these two, they had spent the day together. Unresolved sexual tension ensues, along with thunderstorms, booby brushing, and art perusing. Bella learned how NOT to crush things. Edward is confused, though he learns a little about her. Oh, and they _may_ have had a little chat about Fate and God.

**Chapter 9: Playlist Song: **_**Hanging by a Moment**__, ____by_Lifehouse_AND~_ _**Crazier**_, by Taylor Swift.

Two for the price of one this time.

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 9: Snapshots**

That second evening, after our journey down the hall to his study, Carlisle came home, almost weary. Though he couldn't tire, at least in the physical sense, I could see the way that he'd been affected by Bella's change. His day at the hospital had been difficult at best, as he felt with deep regret all the whispers and theories and sadness all around him. His super-human hearing allowed him a further vantage point to the community's pain, and Carlisle being himself, he was distraught. He put on a brave face the moment he stepped through the door, but his thoughts betrayed the sadness in his heart.

Bella was helping Esme with the laundry. They'd been bonding for almost an hour as Bella helped her do some of the domestic chores that Esme enjoyed. She had always taken on the role of our mother effortlessly, finding fulfillment by showing her love for all of us through her actions. Though each of us were old enough to be grandparents, or great-grandparents for that matter, we allowed her to take care of us like we were the teens we appeared to be. It was not out of disrespect, as if she were our slave. Esme had long ago let each of us know it was her greatest joy—she did it to love us as her own children, to see the way that her actions affected each of us, and to fill the void in her heart that was ripped open when she was still human.

Apparently, Bella found joy in some of those same things. She was eager to help Esme, and though dusting and sweeping usually took Esme a fraction of the time, I think she was enjoying Bella's company as much as Bella was enjoying hers. Content that she would be fine with Esme for the time being, I greeted Carlisle—and his weary thoughts—in the entryway.

"I'm sorry," I told him softly in response to his inner musings. He looked up and met my eyes, smiling sadly.

"Son, you apologize too much. Always taking blame." He discarded his jacket next to the door, a prop that was wholly unnecessary.

I snorted. "Bella said as much just this afternoon."

His smile widened, and he chuckled softly.

_She's quick. I'm not surprised she's called you out on that already. Watch yourself with her._

I rolled my eyes. "I think it's too late for that."

"_Tell_ me about it," he said slyly. Before I could comment, Alice pranced through the doors, skipping happily with Jasper in tow. They were the first of our siblings home from school, a fairly normal occurrence. For some reason, Emmett and Rosalie tended to get sidetracked on their way home.

"Edward," she said, stopping precisely in time so that she didn't bounce right into me. "Where's Bella?"

I laughed at her enthusiasm and the proper tone of her voice. She stood peering up at me, waiting expectantly for my answer. Her incessant shifting from foot to foot was comical, and I chuckled a little at the way she resembled a normal teenager more than any of us. At first glance, her peppy spirit and love for all things fashion made her appear flighty, but Alice was anything but. She was intelligent beyond reason, deeply grounded, and ferociously loyal. There wasn't a fickle bone in her body. Every move was calculated and precise—_exactly_ the way that she was blocking my thoughts at that moment.

I sighed and threw my arm around her tiny shoulders as we all made our way into the kitchen where Esme and Bella were discussing a good, home-made scrub for granite countertops. They both looked up and smiled when we entered. I leaned down and whispered in her ear.

"Now, Alice, we both know that you didn't need _me _to answer that." I tapped her forehead. She smirked up at me and removed herself from my hold.

_No, but I thought you would know better than me. After all, I'm sure you know where Bella is at all times._

"Hi, Bella!" Alice bounced from my side over to Bella and enveloped her in a hug. Despite her little frame, she was able to wrap up Bella completely. For a moment Bella's eyes widened in panic, this unsolicited affection taking her completely by surprise. Alice could, after all, be terrifying at times. But then, after a moment, she closed her eyes, smiled, and wrapped her arms around my sister. Jasper relaxed significantly, now that he saw no threat to his tiny wife.

"Hi, Alice," she whispered. Alice squealed at the returning affection, and released her, only to tuck her into her side.

"How was your day? Did Edward _behave_ himself?" She turned and smiled at me, winking. _Well, Edward? _Did_ you behave yourself?_

I shot her a nasty look just as Bella answered her.

"It was good. Edward showed me Carlisle's study, and the hallway." Her eyes shot over in panic to Carlisle, who had joined us. He stood quietly with his arms around Esme. She bit her lip. "I hope that's alright."

"Of course, Bella. This is your home, now. You're welcome to whatever you'd like. We have no secrets in this house, I'm afraid." He looked poignantly at me, but smiled warmly, his earlier tension dissipating with the presence of all of us with him. Emmett and Rosalie had joined us during Alice's squealing, and were now watching in the doorway.

_My family_, he thought proudly. There was a sense of completeness, one that I'd never felt from him before. He'd always known us as his children, his life fulfilled with all of us in it and Esme beside him, but in the back of his mind, there was always still something missing, another one to complete our family. It didn't feel like that to him anymore. I couldn't deny that I agreed.

"_So_," Alice said happily, "what are we doing tonight? We need to get to know our new sister. And since Edward has been monopolizing her since she woke up…" She trailed off and smirked at me.

"As if you don't know what we'll be doing," I told her again. She laughed heartily.

"We're needed elsewhere," Carlisle said, sighing in regret.

"Yeah," Emmett boomed, entering our circle. "We're hunting for a _Bella_ tonight."

I groaned and rolled my eyes, cursing his lack of tact. I hadn't exactly shared any information with Bella about the search party. The pain of her leaving behind Chief Swan was obvious, and I didn't want her to suffer with the knowledge that _he_ suffered so fervently, though she likely still had to know. I hadn't told her the way that they were searching for her body, combing the woods for any sign of her—blood, clothing, whatever they could find. I couldn't share those gruesome details with her. How could I expect her to stay with me when we'd gone to such great lengths to hide her presence? How much more would she suffer, having the gory details of her life as a missing person?

"What?" Bella said softly. I shot him a look of annoyance as he and the rest of my family began to understand the delicate nature of this conversation. "What do you _mean_?"

Emmett stiffened upon realizing his mistake and looked aptly uncomfortable at what he'd said.

"Uh, sorry, Bella. Um, I thought maybe Edward would have told you. They're… looking for you. We're helping. To show moral support, you know?"

"Oh." Her spirit sank with the one tiny word.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't think you'd want to know," I told her softly, holding my arms out to her beseechingly. I took a step towards her, just an inch. She watched my hand, held out to her pathetically, sighing and giving me a sad smile that caused my heart to burn.

"No, it's okay. It's just hard to think of them looking for me, searching for my body, you know? I'm…I'm fine. Don't apologize for trying to protect me from it."

Her chest rose and fell with her heavy sighs and I dropped my hand back to my side.

"Bella," Esme said, coming up beside her and Alice, and wrapping them both up. "We know how hard this must be for you, hearing about all this. We're so sorry, dear." Bella looked up at her in quiet gratitude.

"Yes," Carlisle interjected. "If you'd rather we weren't involved—if you'd like us to just leave Charlie alone, we can."

"No," she said softly. "No, I don't want that. Thank you for watching him, making sure that he's okay. I just… I'm trying to wrap my brain around the fact that he's out there looking for me, and I'm sitting here, doing nothing to let him know that I'm okay."

It was at that moment that I was hit again with another wave of realization. _I'd_ done this. I'd taken her from her father. Because of me, she was not only dead and gone, but she would forever know the heartache of being cruelly separated from him. How could I think that she could exist in the same realm as me? How could I expect her to see me as her equal when I was so far from it. I'd gone over this in my head so many times since biting her—I was a coward, and a demon, and so unworthy of her friendship. The emotion of that bubbled up in me and I turned away from them all.

In the span of only a few days, I felt the world as I knew it coming down around me, and I was powerless to stop it. What was replacing it was a new world that I was completely unprepared for.

_Edward,_ I heard Jasper say. _Don't do this to yourself. She'd be gone regardless of your decisions._

They all watched me, and through their eyes, I could see Bella, too, watching me sadly. My intense sudden despair took them all by surprise, though Jasper could feel the emotions rolling off me. It was the look Bella was giving me, the broken, worried expression, that hurt me the most. I needed to get away.

I snorted and chuckled darkly, turning to Jasper.

"_No_," I told him harshly, "but she would have been _better_ _off_ that way."

The words burned in my mouth like fire as I stalked out of the room. Worse than the hurtful, venomous sentence, was the fact that it was truth. As soon as my heels hit the earth, I ran.

* * *

Finding no comfort in running alone, I'd returned home quickly. I hated running from her, running away from the repercussions of what I'd done. It was weak, but I didn't know how to look her in the eyes and _not _tell her I was sorry. And I didn't know how to see the heartbreak on her face and not sink deeper into despair. Of all the things I could have done, at the time, running away seemed like the best option. When I got far enough away, however, the agony of being gone from her was that much worse. How could I exist when both being near her and being apart from her nearly killed me?

By the time I got back they had dispersed. I quickly ran through my families thoughts, trying to locate them all. I was still in no mood to talk, and though they could all hear the second I walked through the door, I hoped they'd grant me space for a while longer.

Mostly, I just wanted to know where Bella was.

Even though I knew that I had no right to, I needed to know where she was. When I found her bonding with Alice over some school stories, I relaxed.

_You worried her, Edward._

_Son, I'm here if you need me._

_Sorry, bro._

_Oh, Edward._

_Moron._

Their thoughts did nothing to comfort me, and I made my way to the ballroom to find solace the only other way I'd ever known. Somehow, just like the speed of running, I expected it to have lost all its flavor. It seemed, the only way I could find any kind of peace anymore was in the form of a petite brunette with fire-engine red eyes.

The ballroom was dark, lit only by the moonlight settling outside. It was bare, save for the shiny black piece in the corner. I made my way over to it.

I sat down on the bench, my fingers finding their homes over the keys immediately. I didn't have to think about how the music would flow together. There was no memorization of notes and pieces any longer. Everything, anything, was available to me with just a thought, all the harmonies and melodies coming to me in an instant. I never had to practice, and the music always managed to heal me in ways that nothing else could.

But as I expected, it was no longer the same. The last time I'd sat at a piano, I was soothed by it, but now, I knew the only thing that could do that, I'd hurt. Badly. I'd been foolish, too consumed by my own guilt and pain to consider hers—to consider what my walking out on her had likely done to her. It seemed that every move I made lately had been the wrong one.

The notes no longer danced across my eyelids. The music no longer quieted my spirit. The melodies seemed flat and meaningless, no life in them any longer.

I heard my father and my brothers leave—as well as Rose who wanted nothing to do with my 'idiocy'—knowing that I should have been joining them, helping them smooth over my mistakes and lend comfort to the man that meant the most to Bella. But still I sat. One more mistake couldn't damn me any more than I already was.

When she entered the ballroom behind me, I felt her. My hands stilled over the keys but I didn't turn.

"Are you angry with me?" she whispered. Her voice echoed through the barren room and for the first time since I'd sat down at the piano, my heart shuddered with the music she alone created within the room.

"No," I told her as my voice quaked. "I'm not angry with you. I'm angry with _myself_."

"Because of _me_, though." I felt her grow closer to me as she stepped further into the darkened room. Her footfalls were light as air, but the static that constantly hung between us intensified. I could hear the raw pain in her voice, and I clenched my eyes shut, still unable to face her. "I _know_ it is, Edward. I can tell."

"You've done nothing wrong." I slumped forward and I ached with the pain I was feeling.

"But I'm not doing anything _right_ either," she whimpered. "I feel like I've done nothing but interfere."

"_No_," I whispered. That thought alone made me irrationally angry.

"Do you… do you want me to… _go_?" Her voice was so soft, trembling with the fear and desperation of it, it would have fallen deaf on a human's ears. I'd never heard words more heartbreaking than these—I knew that she was talking about more than simply leaving the room. She was giving me an out, a way to shirk on my responsibilities to her. She was asking if I wanted her to leave, and never come back to me. My body spasmed with agony, ripping apart at the seams. For a moment, I felt as if I'd fallen into a void.

"No. _Please_ no," I begged, finally turning to look at her. Her eyes were lowered and sad, and I stood, reaching out my hand to pull her close to me. When my hands touched hers, she looked up into my eyes. "I don't... I _can't_ have you go. That's not a choice I could ever make."

She pondered me for a long time and slowly nodded. We stood like that, hand in hand for a long time. Finally, she looked over my shoulder, and nodded towards the piano.

"What are you doing?"

I smiled sadly, sighing to myself.

"Um, _retreating_. Apparently, it's what I do." The corner of her mouth turned up slightly in agreement. Already, she knew my MO. I rubbed a small circle on the back of her hand and tugged slightly, lowering my voice as softly and gently as possible. "Join me?"

She looked up at me apprehensively and shrugged.

"Are you sure?" she said in a tiny voice, biting her lip demurely. I shivered at the innocence of it. "I mean, I can go—"

"I'm sure," I interrupted, leading her over to the bench. This time, she was asking just for the moment, but a tiny frightening spark lit at the words anyway. "Positive."

Having Bella sit beside me at the piano suddenly made it all come alive again. The rift was momentarily forgotten as my fingertips danced over the notes, and I let the feelings waft through me out onto the keys. Her presence was like a muse for me, the music coming effortlessly now.

"You play beautifully. _More_ than beautifully. I've never heard _anything_ like it."

I smiled as she sighed, a strange sensation of pleasure filling me at her words.

"What would you like to hear?"

"Anything," she whispered. "_Everything_."

"Everything? Well, we've got a lot of time for that." I smiled down at her and she returned it. I was amazed again, at how easy this seemed. Not five minutes ago, she'd been prepared to leave. Now we were like two carefree teenagers. I was… _confused_. I'd never been so confused in my whole life.

I never wanted her to leave, and the fact that she thought that was like a knife to my chest. I couldn't have her think that I regretted that she was sitting beside me, inspiring me—not just through the music, but in everything.

"Bella?" I whispered tentatively. Her eyes were closed as she listened. Our shoulders pressed against each other lightly. I grounded myself with the knowledge that she was still with me.

"Hmm?" she hummed. I shifted at the uncomfortable but pleasurable stirrings in my belly and focused on letting her know that I wasn't _ever_ going to want to give her up. When I didn't answer, she opened her eyes. "What is it?"

"I don't want you to ever think that I don't want you here. I don't want you to doubt that we want you as part of our family. I'm…_sad_, because I feel like my changing you was a mistake." Her expression fell, and she averted her eyes. I reached for her face, trailing my fingers over her cheekbones gently, before tilting her chin up so I could look in her eyes once again. "Not for _me_. _Never_ for me. But for _you_. Because I think that there was probably a heaven waiting for you somewhere that I took away from you."

She didn't say anything, but she softened and a hint of a smile played on her lips.

"Please don't worry about _that_, please? I don't really see it that way."

Though I didn't really understand, I nodded slightly. She inched closer and the breath caught in my throat. I stiffened at how near she was, the way she made all my senses come alive. I turned back to the piano and began playing a gentle lullaby.

"Hmmm. I love _Ava Maria_. It's so haunting, but peaceful at the same time."

"You _know_ that?" I asked, surprised that she'd be able to pick out a song like this. Certainly, I expected her to know songs that were hits on the radio, but to know her classical pieces was refreshing. I smiled and hazarded a glance beside me.

"That surprises you? Doesn't everyone know Schubert's _Ava Maria_?"

I chuckled and shook my head. Didn't she _understand_? Didn't she see how incredible she was? The fact that she could cite the composer—_any_ composer— was evidence enough of that. She was a teenager, and one who didn't even play piano. I could have understood, if she's been musically inclined, but to have her know so much about the world and be so young was incredible. I heard thousands of minds, young like her, old like myself, and most of them barely came close to what I imagined her capable of. How her mind would be when she had a few decades to fill it! If only I could have a peek. I sighed and chuckled again.

"No," I told her. "No, Bella, they don't."

She regarded me for a moment with her eyes narrowed. I was about to ask her what she was thinking, but she beat me to it.

"Does it bother you?"

"What?"

"Being able to read people's thoughts?" she said. "Knowing what everyone says and thinks and believes, _all_ the time?"

"Yes," I told her. "And no."

I sighed running my fingers through my hair. How was it possible that she knew all the right questions to ask? How was it that I felt like she could see into _my_ mind? Why did I _want_ her to?

"I wish I could shut it off sometimes," I told her honestly, "but at the same time, I like knowing that I can control a situation if need be, and help my family. As far as I can remember, this is how it's been. But it's also nice that I can go away, and not have to hear anything—but myself."

She was watching me carefully.

"And with _you_," I continued, looking away from her. "I can have the best of both worlds."

She didn't speak. I could hear the little breaths whooshing in and out of her. I could feel her next to me, at the spot where our arms touched. I was frozen in place, unsure of how she'd react to my confession.

"Thank you," she whispered finally. I let her words settle over me before reaching out to take her hand. For a moment, our joined hands rested between us as we sat in the quiet of the room. I was struck by the way that she was able to say the smallest of things and make them mean the most. Finally, I rose, pulling her with me off the bench.

"Come with me," I told her. "I think you'll like this. Plus, I'm just a _little_ bit curious."

I led her out of the ballroom and up the stairs to the third floor. Straight to my room.

* * *

Bella had a daunting taste in music. She's been delighted when I'd shown her my vast collection of it.

For a moment, she'd been entranced by the sheer volume of my collection, but after a moment, she got an excited look in her eyes and began perusing. She picked out things that surprised me: The Clash, The Sex Pistols, and Sublime, as well as some Debussy and The Beatles and Bruce Springsteen. Her tastes were wide and varied, and I loved that her favorites gravitated away from some of the ridiculous music that was all over the radio now.

She was _shocking_.

When Carlisle and the others came home, I left her sitting on the floor looking through some old vinyls.

"How did it go?" I said as Carlisle was entering his study. He turned to me and smiled sadly.

"He's focused now, which is good. He wants nothing more than to find her, and he hasn't given himself much of an opportunity to process it. But I'm afraid what will happen as we go on. There will come a point that he will begin to realize she's not out there. I'm afraid we'll watch him crumble before our eyes, unable to do anything about it."

I nodded solemnly as I considered this.

"Is there _anything_ that we can do?" I hated that Bella's father would have to go through such agonizing grief because of me. If I'd let her die at the accident, at least he'd know she was gone. Now, he didn't even have the ability to grieve. But, I couldn't deny that I preferred the fact that she was sitting above me shifting through old records, to the idea that she'd be gone.

He sighed.

"Nothing I can see. We've never stayed like this. For now, we'll watch him. There isn't much more we can do. Jasper was getting heavy waves of guilt from him, palpable as yours sometimes. I won't lie and say I'm not worried about his mental state."

If only there was a way that Bella might be able to give him some sign, some tangible peace—A note, a piece of evidence, anything that might give him some closure. Maybe we could place it for her, and he might see it as some kind of assurance—or a sign from above. I would give anything to be able to give her that kind of gift, the assurance that her father would be all right. I wished it was possible.

"Thank you for doing this," I told him. "I've asked so much of everyone lately."

"Edward," he sighed, "when will you see? We are here to protect each other, you and Bella included. It's worth it. For both of you."

My father had a way of making it all seem alright—all my decisions, all that I'd asked them to do for me, all that I'd asked them to _give up _for me. Even when none of it really was.

* * *

The next day, after another early morning hunt, Bella and I spent the rest of the day inside. It was raining again. Poor Alice was so upset that she couldn't stay home with us.

We took up residence in the library, piling ourselves in with various books, like two children forced inside on a rainy day. Stacks lay all over the room, all in varying heights, towers of literature that looked like forts built for our amusement. Though I couldn't recall those memories, the wisps of my human life gone and never to be remembered, the feeling of it was fond. I felt at home there, with Bella, lying around sequestered from the rest of the world. I watched as the trails of water made tributaries down the glass as the rain plinked against it with an unsteady rhythm.

Bella was concentrated on the book in her lap, curled up on the worn leather couch. She was propped up against the armrest, her legs tucked in with a soft green blanket that Esme had knitted many years ago as a way to keep busy. I'd chuckled in disbelief when she'd asked for a blanket, but I'd retrieved it for her nonetheless. She took it gingerly from my hands, as if it were a priceless heirloom and I watched in wonder as she got comfortable and tucked it snuggly around her curled lap. She'd bit her lip and smiled at me, telling me that it made her feel better, even if it was unnecessary. It was charming.

I built a fire in the hearth and sat down beside her. While she read, I took in the subtleties in the room—the way the fire crackled and danced, the patterns on the glass made by the gentle thrumming of the rain, and the gentle rustle of pages as she poured over her stacks of books from the day before and ones she'd since discovered.

I felt almost _lazy_. I imagined I could stay like this, with her, for a long time. Despite the fact that things were sometimes so intense between us, it was also comfortable. Each interaction never turned out how I would expect, and the mystery of it kept me entertained. Where one minute, my body would be ignited with electricity at her nearness, the next, I was filled with a happy, peaceful sense of belonging. At that moment, I felt more human than I had in so long.

She sighed and dropped her book on to the floor, throwing her head back and closing her eyes.

"This is ridiculous," she said suddenly. "I mean, I was a fast reader before, but I almost don't enjoy it now."

"Why is that?" I asked raising my eyebrows in question. Certainly it was much faster to read as a vampire, but the content was all there, and with a vampire's mind, there was no struggle to understand the words or the context, or the depth and character of the texts. With such a vast mind, she'd be able to pick up on the subtle nuances of the words and the inflection of the author's imagination. Her admission surprised me. "It's still the same book."

She regarded me thoughtfully before nodding.

"True," she said slowly, "but before, it was like an adventure, like an uphill climb. I loved taking my time, slowly curving out my way to the finish, exploring and experiencing and tasting it. I liked that it was an effort, because I felt like I was really working for it. Like I was accomplishing something incredible. It's almost too easy now, too quick. Sure I get the story, but there is something _delicious_ about delayed gratification, don't you think?"

I was lost on her words, fully absorbed by the sensual way she spoke about reading. My mouth had dropped open a little and I had stopped breathing. I had never had a problem before, reading with my vampire speed, but there was truly something enticing about the way she made it sound. I'd never, not _once_, disliked my vampire speed. But having Bella speak about meandering through a book seemed tantalizing.

"I never thought of it like that," I mumbled, having regained my ability for thought. The moment I shook myself from my stupor, I felt suddenly dejected, knowing that I'd taken the joy of reading from her too.

"Edward?" she whispered. I looked up from my lap to find her looking at her hands, fidgeting nervously in a way that I'd never seen another vampire do. She peeked up at me through her lashes. "Maybe you could read _to _me?"

It took me a moment, but when I allowed her words to wash over me, I smiled brilliantly. The thought of reading to her, giving her back that joy that I'd taken away, was enough to swallow up my sadness. I could control the speed at which I delivered the text in a way that it would be possible for her to enjoy it in those ways again. Plus, the idea of having her listen to _my_ voice painting that picture for her, and lulling her into the story, was exciting. I quivered a little at the way it made me feel.

She stood from the couch, holding on to the blanket, and motioned for me to move to the corner. I hesitated, only because I was so unsure. Bella and I had touched. I'd held her dying body cradled against my chest. I put my lips to her and drew blood from her, and then I gave her back my own venom. Her clothes had been torn and ripped away from her delicate flesh, and still I'd held her. And just the day before, she'd been in my arms as the currents raced excitedly between our touching bodies. But this? This seemed almost _intimate_.

She waited on me to slide over, biting her lip with my stalling. The look of apprehension on her face was enough to force my hand. Once I was seated in the corner, she sat down next to me, tucking her body close against mine and wrapping the blanket around both of us. I tried desperately to remember how to speak as she snuggled in closer to my body.

"Is this alright?" she asked as she tilted her chin up to look up into my eyes.

"Yes," I breathed, unable to form more coherent words. She wiggled her body against me, and I grit my teeth at the friction she caused on my skin—intense, electrifying, pleasurable friction. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe evenly. Finally I gave up breathing all together.

With much resolve, I cracked open the book, a worn copy of the Canterbury Tales in its original Middle English. We'd made a return trip to Carlisle's study before settling in the library, and she'd decided it was worth it to try to decipher it. She'd found so many more things that interested her, as I knew she would. Seeing how intrigued she'd been to get a peek at his vast collection of books had been stirring.

As I read the words to her, pulling them off the page with my voice at a human regularity, interpreting them for her with no effort at all and making them intelligible, she closed her eyes and relaxed into me. Her warmth traveled through me, and I found myself transported to a place where only she and I existed, a place completely free of rainstorms and read-thoughts, but still eternal. When I reached the end of the first Fragment, I looked down at her. She looked like she was sleeping.

She opened her eyes at the quiet of the room. I hiccupped a little at the brilliance of her crimson eyes.

"You're right," I whispered. "This is much better."

"Much," she agreed, smiling slyly.

"Would you like me to keep going? Or shall I switch to something else."

"I don't mind Chaucer. I like listening to the way you read it, the sound of your voice. It's like another language in print, but when you read it to me, its fluid."

She leaned back against me and closed her eyes again.

"Chaucer _is_ another language, Bella," I chuckled. She smiled but didn't open her eyes.

"It is," she sighed and then opened one eye. "Speaking of which, I was wondering if you knew how to read some of the older texts up there."

"Most of them," I told her. Of course, she was speaking of the ones written in other languages, some of which were even dead. Only a few of Carlisle's books were beyond me, and a few were even beyond him, languages that died long before either of us. Those, he only kept for what they represented.

"So, maybe you could teach me?" She sat up and looked imploringly at me. I chuckled at the sweet look on her face.

"I can. What would you like to learn first?"

"French. Or Italian, maybe. Something romantic."

"Latin?" I offered. Her face lit up with excitement and she sat up.

"Really, Edward? _Latin_!" Her excitement buzzed around us, and I interpreted that Latin would be the first thing I would teach her. Her childlike enthusiasm made me laugh. The idea of having something to look forward to with her excited me too, that _I_ would be the one to help her grow and discover. "To think, I didn't even graduate high school, and I'm going to know _Latin_."

"Well, we can work on that, too," I told her. She wrinkled her nose and shook her head.

"Yeah," she said, "I'm not looking forward to an eternity of high school. Once was enough."

"Sometimes," I told her, "it's worth it. Sometimes you find something you'd never expect."

I reached up and brushed her cheek with my fingertips. Her face softened and she sighed.

"Tell me about it," she whispered. Then, she pulled the blanket back down around her and snuggled back into the crook of my arm.

Something I didn't expect, indeed.

* * *

That evening, Bella played video games with Emmett. He'd been feeling neglected, and was itching to try his hand at beating her again. While Jasper—who'd relaxed substantially over the previous few days—goaded him into trying his luck again with Bella in the backyard, he was wary about that scenario. Emmett could handle being beat by Bella once, but his pride was worried about there being a second time. Instead, he opted to try her out in one of his favorite, modern pastimes.

Once again, his pride didn't stand a chance.

* * *

"This movie isn't very accurate. That's not what it was like."

Bella and I were in the living room, watching the move _Flyboys._ Bella had picked it out, eager to watch something that highlighted the same era as I was from. The movie had just been released to the box office—Emmett had managed to get an illegal copy of it, somehow. I wasn't going to tell him that we were watching it without the rest of them. Maybe I would make Bella break the news to him. He wasn't planning on crossing her path any time soon.

It was a decent movie, sure—relatively interesting storyline, anyway—but the historical accuracy wasn't spot on. There were plenty of things that were off. For one, "The Red Baron" didn't command an-all red unit of planes, though he did charge a few. The film had too many red Fokker Triplanes, an aircraft that wasn't mainstream at that time. Too, the technology was incorrect, with anti-aircraft weaponry that was never used by either side. That, and the fact that there was never a zeppelin aircraft on a mission to Paris. I scoffed and told her as much.

She pondered me with an amused smirk, and chuckled.

"I wished I could have seen you back then. I bet you were so dashing."

"Dashing, huh?" I laughed. "No, I was pompous and awkward."

"Edward, I don't think you could have ever been considered _awkward_." She averted her eyes. I reached over and stopped her from looking away from me, an action that drove me crazy. I just wanted to _see_ her. When our eyes met again, my breathing hitched.

"Come on," I whispered, pausing the movie and pulling her up with me. I took her to the back of the house to the sunroom, where Esme was perusing some magazines. The room was light and airy, filtered light shining in from the open windows. The morning was bright, despite the constant overcast clouds. Esme was seated at the armchair, contemplating the design scheme for the New England Queen Anne Victorian. She looked up when we entered and smiled.

"Hello, you two. How's the movie?" She averted her attention to our joined hands and beamed. _Oh, Edward! Look at the two of you_.

I shook my head and dismissed her ecstatic thoughts, though they filled me with an unexplainable joy.

"I want to show Bella the albums."

Esme shot up from her seat and practically ran to the bookshelves in the corner. She pulled out the meticulously kept albums from all our years together, handed them to me and left the room with a wink.

_Have fun!_ she sung. And then we were alone again.

We sat down on the window seat with the picture album resting on our legs. I opened it to the first picture of the three of us—Esme, Carlisle, and me—posed like a family.

"I don't really have any pictures from when I was human—one tattered one of my mother—but this isn't long after I was turned. Esme too."

She ran her fingers over the sepia colored photograph, touching each of our faces in turn. I leaned into her more, peering over her shoulder and supporting myself behind her. Her shoulder blade brushed against my deltoid, and I didn't back away.

"Like a family photograph," she sighed.

"Something like that." Esme had so badly wanted that photograph done, when she'd found out it was possible. Carlisle had agreed, eager to please her, and happy with the thought of having a family when he'd been alone so long. I was the only one with the discontent look on my face. She continued to slowly page through the album.

"It's incredible. And here I thought vampires couldn't be in pictures, that they'd just disappear."

"Just one more myth," I chuckled.

"What were you like?" she asked, tilting her head and looking up at me. "Were you the same as you are now? I mean, when you were human."

"No, I don't think I am, though we don't change much when we are turned," I said. "I don't see the world the same way any longer, the way I did what I was a human. When I was human, all I wanted was to join the war. I was so interested in glory and honor… and _leaving_. If I knew then what I know now, I would have cherished what little time I had left with those that I loved."

"Who?" There was a hint of hesitance in her voice. She did not relax as I watched her.

"My mother, mostly. And to some extent, my father. Though he was a big reason for my wanting to go to war so badly. We didn't always see eye to eye." I chuckled un-humorously, as I remembered in brief, murky flashes the way that we'd fight about my future. He wanted, more than anything, for me to be a lawyer and follow in his footsteps. Even then, I knew that was not for me.

"Oh," she said softly. She paused for a moment, sighed deeply, and then continued in the tiniest voice I'd ever heard. "Anyone special that you left behind? A …_girl_?"

Her question shocked me. She seemed almost worried about my answer. She refused to meet my eyes, playing with the corner of the page instead.

"No," I told her. There was something in me that _needed _her to know that I'd never had anyone like that, no one who would have caused my heart to ache because I had left them behind.

"Hmm," she hummed and nodded nonchalantly, but I felt as she let out a held breath. She flipped to the next page. She gasped.

"Who are _they_?"

I averted my attention from the curious girl next to me to the pictures she was holding. She'd paused on a group of photos, all of them clustered with a large number of vampires.

"Ah, that is the Denali coven. Old friends of Carlisle's that have become as close to extended family as you can get. They are like us, they don't hunt humans. I imagine you'll meet them soon—Carlisle is hoping that Eleazar will be better able to pinpoint your gift for us." I pointed him out. "That's where I went, when I left."

"They are beautiful. All of them," she sighed.

"They're vampires."

She continued to stare at the picture. We were all there, the seven of us, as well as all of their coven. Bella seemed to be memorizing it. She lingered there, studying everything about the picture.

"She's pretty," she whispered, her fingers tracing over the picture where I stood next to a tall blond. I furrowed my brow, desperate to know what she was thinking. "What's her name?"

"Um, that's… Tanya. And these are her sisters."

She just nodded. And continued to flip through the pages slowly.

"She can't be more than seventeen, though. I mean, when she was changed," She was looking at a picture of one of the old homes that we had resided in. Tanya was nowhere on the page, but somehow I knew that she still occupied Bella's mind.

"No, she's our age, in that respect," I told her carefully. She nodded minutely again.

"She looks like one of those girls who every other girl wants to be—beautiful, smart, strong… blonde." Her voice was so small, and like being hit by a train, because I finally realized the reason for her strange line of questioning. I sighed and buried my head in my hands. She wasn't looking at me. I slid off the bench and positioned myself before her until I was crouching on the ground, so that she couldn't help but look at me.

"Bella," I whispered, as I tilted her chin up, "Tanya has _nothing_ that you, of _all_ people, should be envious of. You have _all_ those things. Except for being blonde, of course."

She smiled wearily down at me, her lips tight together, as if she didn't quite believe me. I'd have to remedy her opinion of herself if I could. I squeezed her hand and sat back beside her.

"Please don't ever think that you are lacking, in any respect, Bella. I've never met _anyone_ like you." Her smile turned genuine and she averted her eyes. "I think you'll like them."

"And they'll come here?"

"Yes."

"Okay." She continued to flip through the album. Suddenly, her eyes lit up. "Oh, my, is that Emmett and Rosalie?"

"Yes," I said, taking a look at the picture that I hadn't seen in so long, "at their first wedding."

"First, huh?" We laughed together as she flipped through the pages, one after the other with Rosalie and Emmett dressed to the nines.

"So vampires get married, huh?"

"Some do, ones like us. When you find your mate, it is just one more promise to make. After that point, there is no one else anyway. Having them belong to you in one more way is just another sign of forever."

"Forever, huh? Marriage doesn't mean forever."

"No, not in all cases. but for vampires, its less about being wed than it is about being mated. Once you you've found your mate, nothing—_no_ one—else will ever be good enough. Mating goes so much further beyond a marriage bind, that there's no reason _not_ to. For vampires, forever _literally_ means forever. Marriages can dissolve, certainly, but your mate is always your mate."

"Have…?" she trailed off and looked back at the album, swallowing her question.

"What, Bella?" I urged gently, nudging her with my shoulder.

"Well, I was just wondering if you've…well if you've ever been close before." She continued to stare at her hands as they moved over the pictures on the pages. "To getting married, I mean. Maybe to someone like her."

She pointed to another picture of Tanya, but this one included me—a candid shot of the two of us, likely taken by Esme with a motherly hand. It was more recent, one taken in the 1970s. We were sitting side by side, talking. I remembered the exact moment as crystal clear as if it had been just yesterday. But I knew that so much had happened since then.

To someone who didn't know any better, the photo of us looked so carefree, so light. Tanya was smiling at me brilliantly, her eyes alit with laughter. I, too, wore a grin, but it was not the same as hers. I was not looking at her but away, at my feet, and I could recognize the sadness in my stare. The man in that picture was _not_ with his mate—he was merely existing.

"No," I whispered, "I haven't. Not yet."

We continued to page through the albums, as I told her stories that went with all the pictures. Each time I saw a picture of myself, it was the same. I recognized the shell of a man—no, a _boy_—that was incomplete. He lived for everyone else, taking only the bare necessities out of each interaction. There was no light, no hope, only a resigned acceptance.

I didn't want to be that man.

And I didn't think I was…

Anymore.

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**End Notes:** See, Edward's getting so close to saying the words. So close.

And here is my exciting news: Chapter 10 will be posted… tomorrow! (For all my readers, that is—if you are on Twilighted, I'll post it as soon as it gets validated) Yay! I made you guys wait so long for this chapter, and I was so excited to write Chapter 10 (It's a BIG, IMPORTANT one), so as a thank you, I'm not going to make you wait for an update AT ALL!

Plus, my son's 3rd birthday party is coming up, among other things, so there might be a bit of a delay on another update (not TOO long, I promise). This is where the ball starts rolling. The action will pick up a little bit from here on out.

Thank for reading and reviewing. Love you all for that. Just click the little button below =) If I get to 300 reviews, I might consider posting an outtake of Emmett and Bella's videogame match. Just saying ;)


	10. Chapter 10: SpaceTime Continuum

**Author's Note:** I've got nothing this time… besides a THANKS A BUNCH. Shocking, right?

**Chapter 10: Playlist Song: **_**She's Like the Wind**__,_ byPatrick Swayze

(I know, I know, it belongs to _Dirty Dancing_, but it's pretty darn perfect.)

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 10: Space-Time Continuum**

There are moments in one's life where time stops. Suddenly the room slows and there is an instant of clarity. One realization, one synapse firing in awareness. Your breathing focuses and your eyes sharpen. There is no other noise but the sound of your own breathing. It's when your body realizes that your brain has come to some great understanding about the secrets of the earth, ancient secrets that you long thought were buried.

These are rare. Some never have these moments at all.

It is much like waking up a new vampire. There is no heartbeat to keep time, but all your senses awaken, and the room stills. For a split second, everything around you stops. Like a rupture in the fabric of time itself, you are alone. And then everything shifts into overdrive to catch up with you.

I never thought I'd experience it again after awakening in my new state. That feeling of elation, and weightlessness, and understanding of something so powerful it could move mountains. The knowledge of something _real_.

It only lasts a moment, and with the reintroduction of time, the reality that one must function with this new knowledge in a world that may not have it too crashes down on you. I turned and I saw the world for what it was. I saw all the colors and heard every sound. I understood what it meant to hold the world in my hand and have the power to crush it. And then I realized what I _was_.

That was the last time I had a moment like that. After, I fell into the monotony of my life, the true grit of it showing through. I lived day after day the same. With the new knowledge of the power, was the companion understanding of the darkness. What was left of my soul was black—as black as coal.

I was just surviving, living each day the way I had to—for Carlisle, for Esme, and Alice and all of them. They never seemed to feel it as deeply as I had. They could live each day with blinders on, seeing only the light—the goodness in themselves and others. Meanwhile the dark danced around them seductively, as they lived oblivious to its dangerous swirling in their periphery.

I lived for _them_. I kept my darkness hidden from them, knowing that it is what they needed. I pretended and went through the motions, all the while wishing I had died almost nine decades ago. My life was cloudy and pitch, like a starless, moonless night. I had nothing to live for, nothing to grasp on to, nothing to reach for with outstretched limbs. I couldn't see. I never anticipated that I would _see_ again.

It took a shooting star.

* * *

It had been two weeks. Fifteen days, to be exact. In that tiny expanse, half a month—a blink of an eye, a breath, for an immortal—she'd become one of us. It was as if she'd always been a member of our family, as if there hadn't really been a time when she wasn't with us. I could barely remember what it was like to _not_ have Bella around, her presence felt so natural.

While the world around us continued to function, we were in our own universe. Each day, the sun would rise, and I would feel joy for a new day. Each one was unique. They were devoid of the lack-luster that I'd always known. And Bella fit in that space so well.

What had I done before? I couldn't remember. What had I done, when the sun would rise over my own universe? What had I thought and done and felt? I wondered if I'd ever actually existed before her, as if everything that had come before was a dream—a waking dream.

And everyone else seemed to agree. She was already so comfortable with us. She seemed to look past us as vampires and see us as the people we once were. She looked to Carlisle for wisdom and guidance, and allowed Esme the joy of having another child to love. She saw Alice as her new sister and confidant. She teased and played with Emmett, while Rose snickered under her breath at their antics. Even Jasper had softened to her, as he embraced her unnerving gift. Bella had only been a vampire for a short time, and she was already perfectly attuned to her body and abilities—to being one of us.

Well, not entirely. We still couldn't risk her around the smell of human blood. That part was not in check yet.

One failed experiment caused that discovery.

She astounded everyone. With so much control, there was no telling what amazing things she could accomplish. It raised her hopes, and even without her deliberate thoughts, I knew that she hoped to be able to get back to some semblance of normalcy. But we had never had a chance to test _all_ aspects of her vampirism, and we knew that in order to integrate more completely, there was one fundamental struggle that she'd need to overcome.

In preparation, Carlisle had brought home some bags of blood from the hospital. It had been Jasper's idea. Though the cold, lifeless blood would pale in comparison to the warm pulsing of a living human, he reasoned that it would be a good place to start. If her ability extended to her thirst as well, this inane level of control that still confused us, we'd go from there. We all agreed that this was a viable solution.

Which is where we found ourselves, one sunny Tuesday afternoon.

I held Bella close to me on the living room sofa, where she worried her fingers in anticipation. We were alone in the vast room, but I could hear them together, working in the kitchen.

From each of their vantage points I watched as they all stood around and waited, as Carlisle cut open the bag of O-Negative and poured it carefully in a metal mixing bowl. Bella bit her lip at my side, and I rubbed soothing circles on the small of her back.

"Don't worry," I whispered to her. Her eyes darted up to mine and she smiled softly, though I could tell it was to placate me—it didn't light up her face the way I had come to expect. Her features were still clouded with worry.

I knew this experiment meant a great deal to her. She was resting a lot on it. She wanted to see Charlie, her friends. She hoped that if she could resist the smell of blood she could see them all again very soon. She hoped she could be like my family, blending in with the humans that she so badly missed. It was as if this test would define her as a vampire, in _her_ eyes. I wasn't so expectant, so hopeful. But I _couldn't_ be disappointed in her if it wasn't a success.

I knew she was worried about disappointing us, especially me. As her sire, it was my responsibility to look out for her, but at the same time, she seemed to crave that attention from me too. Every victory for her, every experience that she found exciting, was a victory for me as well. She seemed to know that, and on more than one occasion, I believed she was looking for my approval over any one else's. Little did she know that it didn't matter what she did.

There was _that_, and the fact that I wasn't sure I _wanted_ this victory.

It was selfish, but I'd grown to love our days alone, the way we sat so comfortably reading, or talking, or listening to music. I looked forward to the moment where Carlisle left for the hospital, and my siblings took their leave for school. As much as I loved my family, the time that we spent alone was time cherished for me. And as she charmed everyone—including Jasper—the time was becoming less and less.

In the past few weeks, I'd watched them all open their hearts to her and take her under their wing. Emmett had a new little sister to play with, and she took his jovial humor in stride. Alice enjoyed the aspects of having someone she consider her friend, and while Rose _was_ her friend, her aloof nature to our life sometimes collided with Alice's easy acceptance. Esme and Carlisle found another daughter, one with a caring heart and a bright mind. And Jasper came to accept her place as the days went on, studying her talent and absorbing the ease at which she adapted. It was at the point that he could see past her as a mere newborn, and appreciate the fact that she was an individual.

The only one who showed any outward animosity was Rose, whose distaste for our life often clouded everything around her. But even she couldn't hide the fact that she laughed when Bella beat Emmett at arm-wresting, or when she seemed to outsmart me and make me stumble over my words like an absolute fool. Somewhere, beneath her frosty exterior, Rose welcomed Bella, too.

So when Bella began to ask if she was like us already in _all_ aspects, Jasper had suggested this test. Success would ultimately mean that she was, and that she didn't need to stay at home with me all day long—that she could make up some easy excuse for having disappeared for some weeks—and she could live her life again.

If she could return to her life before, what would keep her with _me_? The thought was stifling.

She could return to her life before—her life without _me_. So like the disgusting creature I was, I inwardly hoped that I'd have an excuse to keep her locked up with me. But I'd never tell her that.

Carlisle picked up the bowl gently, being careful not to slosh its contents too much. The metallic tang of the bowl mixed with the pungent flavor of the liquid inside it, preserving it. The others gave him room to maneuver, while staying close in order to help if need be.

_Hold her, Edward. This may not go as well as she hopes._

Carlisle would never tell her out loud, but he was not so sure she was ready.

He walked carefully towards the living room, the rest of the family in tow. I snaked my arm more tightly around her, and clasped her hands in mine. They fit nicely, tucked there.

"Ready?" I asked quietly, hoping that I sounded reassuring. She nodded quickly and held her breath, ready to inhale as soon as we gave her the word.

Bella squeezed my hand tightly. I could see the worry that etched her face, mixing with the excitement. Carlisle walked slowly into the room, being careful not to slosh the blood so that she would not be overwhelmed before we even began. He was watching her tentatively. I interlaced our fingers.

"Bella, when I tell you, I want you to take an intake of breath."

She nodded at his words as Emmett came to stand beside us, ready to help contain her if need be. There was no guarantee as to what her reaction would be if she did succumb to the bloodlust. She might be crazed by it. Carlisle stayed his distance and held perfectly still, as to not entice her over her breaking point.

My family's thoughts were a mix of trepidation and exhilaration for this moment. Even Rose was interested. The idea that one of us could be born and already be integrated into our domesticated coven was of intrigue.

"Bella," Carlisle began. "_Now_."

Our eyes were all turned to her, the miraculous little vampire. She closed her eyes and took a long, drawn breath. Her body moved with it, chest heaving as it took in the delicious air. It only took a fraction of an instant for all hell to break loose.

Bella growled low in her chest. I felt it reverberate up and out of her, through her back and fingertips. Her grip on me was nearly crushing and her body seized forward toward the blood. Fortunately, Emmett was fast enough to react. Her body lurched at the scent of the blood in the air.

"I know it is enticing, Bella," Carlisle told her steadily and she whimpered at his words, "but think of what this represents. Think of the fact that this belongs to a person—living, breathing—maybe someone you love, and that the moment of gratification will never live up to what that person can bring to your life."

I narrowed my eyes as I listened to everyone's thoughts but hers. Carlisle was apologetic for his sentiment, knowing that if she failed, the memory of it would hurt her more. Emmett was pondering Carlisle's words, remembering a time that he had said something similar to him. Jasper was trying to hold his own, sending useless waves out to help Bella, though he couldn't help the way the blood called to him, even from his position in the corner of the room. Esme was praying and Alice was blocking my thoughts. Rose was leery, positive this was a ridiculous test, and that it would end with broken furniture and stains on the floor. Though her mental words indicated that she expected Bella's failure, there was a tenor of pity for her. Rose, of all people, knew what it was like to want normalcy again.

The only one I couldn't read was Bella, the one who needed me the most.

Her muscles remained flexed as she breathed erratically, trying hard to withstand. She closed her eyes tightly, the air wheezing out of her as she fought the bloodlust. Suddenly, she relaxed, her whole body unclenching and her breathing slowing. Emmett slackened his hold on her slightly.

Alice's vision came just a moment too late for me to alter it. I watched it play out in her head as Bella lost complete control and charged towards Carlisle, spilling the blood all over the hardwood. Like an echo through my brain, it happened before my eyes. She freed herself from both our grips, taking advantage of our lessened hold on her and her newborn strength. Her eyes widened and focused, and a wicked grin played momentarily on her lips. She launched herself forward at my father, who could see it coming.

Bella growled, Esme gasped, Rosalie fled, and Carlisle caught her, wrapping his arms around her middle as she clawed at the bowl lying turned over on the floor, spilling its contents everywhere.

I sped to Carlisle's side and helped him hold Bella as she thrashed against us.

"Alice!" I yelled, taking note of the new occurrence happening apart from us. "Emmett! Get Jasper out of here!"

They reacted immediately. I was suddenly thankful that we hadn't tried to test Bella with someone whose blood still flowed. As it was, the only casualty was Esme's hardwood, and Carlisle's shirt. It could have been much worse, even for us.

Rose returned a second later with a rag soaked in bleach. She and Esme sopped up the blood, as the rag turned a tarnished pink and mixed the liquids, successfully masking the delicious flavor of the blood. The blood was quickly collected in the bowl again, and because of their handiwork, it was no longer appetizing. Bella's body slowed, coming down gradually from her haze. Her frenzied spasms stilled to shaking, and by the time Rose and Esme left the room with the sodden towels, she was not longer controlled by her lust for it.

We continued to hold her until she had been still for some time. Finally, I whispered in her ear.

"Bella, are you alright?"

Her body stiffened and she stood up straight. We released her, and I searched her face, though she refused to meet my gaze. Jasper and Alice and Emmett returned, Jasper's thoughts reflecting his shame. But my concern was not for him.

Rose and Esme, too, came back down to us. The entire family watched her with concern, for they knew that she would not be pleased with the turn of events.

One word echoed through all their minds: _failure_.

_We_—not Bella—had failed. We had failed _her_.

I placed my hand on her back, and she flinched. Like I was burning, I quickly removed my hand, hurt more than I could have been had I truly engulfed my hand in flames. She still avoided my gaze.

"I'm so sorry, everyone," she whispered. Her voice broke as we stood motionless in the middle of the room. She turned to Esme and Carlisle, who were watching her warily. She bowed her head and grimaced. "I really am _so_ sorry."

She looked at everyone but me.

"Bella," Esme whispered, "Honey, you have nothing to say you are sorry for. No one thinks any less of you. You have done so well at everything."

Bella's eyes darted to mine, but that was all I got. She looked away quickly. She nodded at Esme's words.

"Thank you for letting me try," she whispered, shielding her face with a veil of hair. At that, she walked slowly up the stairs. I was about to go after her, knowing the disappointment she must have felt, but Alice's small hand on my bicep stopped me.

"Let her go, Edward," she whispered. "Just… let her go for now."

A vision of Bella, sitting alone on the new four-poster bed, flashed through Alice's mind. Her body was hunched over, and if I didn't know better, I would have thought she was sick. She was curled around herself, rocking gently, tiny, dry sobs coming from her throat.

I nearly fell to the floor and joined her, for the pain I experienced through her was enough to put me in my own fetal position. Again, I made a move to the stairs. This time, Jasper stopped me.

"Give her time," he whispered. "She needs a little time."

* * *

At midnight, I couldn't take it anymore. For hours, I'd been stalking the house like a crazy person, tugging viciously at my hair, and muttering expletives under my breath. Countless times, my foot had been on the bottom step, ready to go to her, but warning tones from Alice, or Esme, or even Rose echoed in my mind. I was to leave her alone. _Not yet. Wait, Edward._ I was going slowly insane.

Finally, unable to last another moment, I launched myself toward the staircase leading to the second floor, fully expecting another warning. But none came.

I climbed the stairs slowly, unsure of what I'd find. Alice had given brief glimpses into what she was dealing with up there all alone but since I couldn't read her mind, I felt an unfamiliar worry seeping through. I reached the door, and knocked softly.

At first, she didn't speak, didn't invite me in. I stood there, listening to the door like a nosy child for what felt like an eternity. Just as I was about to burst through the door with my impatience, I heard a soft, "_Come in_."

She was lying, curled up in a ball, on the center of the bed, just as I'd seen in Alice's mind. I rushed over to her, fearing what this meant, that she had been this way the entire evening.

"_Bella_," I said, my voice full of panic, "Bella, _please_!"

She sat up at the sound of my voice and practically threw herself into my lap. I wrapped her up tightly and smoothed her hair with my palm, breathing in her scent deeply. I was consumed by the moment, grateful to feel the weight of her in my arms.

"I _failed,_ Edward," she cried, quiet sobs escaping her throat dryly. I'd never seen her so sad before—not at the news of her own death by my hand, not at the knowledge that she was a vampire, not even when she thought of her father. I tightened my hold on her, murmuring in her ear.

"Bella, shh," I whispered. "Listen to me. You've done so well with everything. It will come, I promise."

"Are you _disappointed_ with me?" She asked quietly, her breathing shuddering. I felt a wave of guilt surface, knowing I'd never wanted her to succeed in this particular task.

"No," I told her. "I could never be disappointed at anything you've done."

She nuzzled my shoulder, as if she were trying to wipe away tears that would never come. Her body shook slightly as her sadness seemed to settle. Then she moved away from me, sliding back down to her own seat on the bed. The action made me feel cold and empty.

"I just wish I understood," she said, sitting up and sighing, sniffing with no real purpose. "I know it's not supposed to come so fast. I _know _that, but I couldn't help but hope. I just want to know _why_ I can do some things, and not others."

"There's an easy solution to that, you know. Carlisle's already talked to Eleazar. He's more than willing to come. If anyone can tell you what your gift is, it's him." I reached up and smoothed the hair off her face, making small circles on her cheeks. She closed her eyes and bit her lip. She'd been deflecting the offers of the Denali coven visiting since I'd first mentioned it. She finally nodded.

"Okay." She sighed. We sat there for a long while before she snorted softly. "Here I thought I'd get a chance to get out of here for a while. To get away."

Immediately, I felt a pang of rejection, sadness washing over me. _She _did_ want to leave me,_ I thought to myself_. _But then she smiled forlornly and sighed again.

"I wanted you to take me to the _movies_, Edward, or even just on an errand. I know we don't eat, and this is going to sound _so_ stupid, but I just want to go to the _grocery_ store, or even the gas station. I want you to take me out. _Anything. Anywhere_. I feel like a caged animal, always needing to be babysat. I just hoped I'd be able to get out to somewhere that didn't involved animal carcasses."

All I could concentrate on was the fact that Bella wanted me to take her to the movies. I relished in feeling joy that had before fallen dormant for so long. I tilted her chin up so she'd meet my eyes.

"Well, obviously, I can't take you to the _movies_ yet, but I _can_ take you _out_." Her eyebrows rose in interest and I chuckled. I leaned in to her, inching a bit closer. "I have an idea. How about today, once everyone is gone, we go for a car ride. I'll take you to one of my favorite places. No blood-draining or deer bodies involved."

She regarded me carefully, her eyes darting back and forth between mine. For a moment, I felt as if she was scrutinizing my intentions, the truth of my words—as if she doubted the peace and freedom that I was offering. Then, she smiled softly and nodded.

"Okay," she agreed. "I think that will be just what I need."

* * *

I love to drive. There are few technologies, few human inventions that I find as exhilarating, as worthy of my interest. My siblings find joy in television, or video games, or the internet. To me, those things are all very handy, but surely I could live without them. But driving? You would find me hard-pressed to live without that.

Eight hours later, after consoling Bella about her disastrous attempt to contain her bloodlust and promising her an adventure, we were driving down the 101. The morning was quite clear, but overcast and dull, so my siblings opted to attend school that day, despite their hesitance. Both Bella and I convinced them—_I_, because I didn't want their distractions and their interference, and _Bella_ because she didn't want to cause them any burden. That's what she _said_, at least, though I hoped it was because she was just as excited to go as I was. I knew if they stayed home, my plans for the day would be forfeit.

As soon as they made their way out the door, so did we.

After I finished comforting Bella, I had returned to Carlisle's study. I needed to tell him that Bella had agreed to allow Eleazar to examine her gift. I hoped this decision would give her some peace of mind. Plus, I was curious. Perhaps in meeting them, I would find out the reason for her hesitance to do so.

I'd tapped lightly on the door, and he beckoned me in with his silent voice. He sat at his desk looking over a case from the hospital, anything to distract him from the desperation of his newest daughter.

"How is she?" he asked warily. His thoughts were clouded with concern for her. He, too, had more than once tried to intercede and offer her comfort during her grieving, but the girls would not allow it. Instead, he tried to busy himself with work. It hadn't worked well. I sighed.

"Upset. With _herself_, mostly. For whatever reason, I think she's convinced that she's a disappointment to us. I wish I could make her understand."

"It's in her personality, Edward," he said, leaning back in his chair. He chuckled sadly. "She's like someone _else_ I know."

"She's agreed," I told him, ignoring his pointed look. "She's open to meeting them, and she'll accept their coming here. She's seeing her talent as a burden now, I think."

He nodded. "I'll make the call, then. They've been expecting it. I imagine they will be ready to come tonight even. It's been a long while since they've traveled. Carmen is very much looking forward to the outing."

I ran my hands roughly through my hair, and paced.

"She's hesitant, Carlisle. _Why_?" This time, he laughed heartily.

"I never thought _you_, of all people, would be asking me for insight into why someone feels what they do. That, my son, is usually your repertoire. However, I think she must be overwhelmed. It is one thing to be born into a coven of peaceful vampires—a secret, a culture—but to know that that amazing thing is not contained? That there is _more_ out there? Well, that is something even more difficult to grasp."

I nodded my agreement, contemplating his words. Is that _all_ it was? _Is that where her hesitance to meet our extended family came from? A shock, that we were not the only vampires out there?_ I wasn't so sure.

"Thank you," I told him, not willing to further address my concerns. I turned to leave and then remembered. "Oh, and Bella and I will be out tomorrow."

His eyebrows shot up and his thoughts radiated surprise, but he didn't think anything out of the ordinary. He didn't even question it.

"Have fun," he said lightly. I shut the door behind me, confused, elated, and wary for so many reasons.

Those emotions continued, even later, with Bella beside me. Enclosed inside the car, I was hyper-aware of her presence. As a human, I'd been tantalized by her blood, the way it pulsed hypnotically through her veins, and her scent, cloying and delicious. But as a vampire, I took notice of some of her other traits. I saw the way that the light played off her bare shoulders, even through the darkened windows on the passenger side. I saw the way she sunk into the bucket seats of the car, her body just a little too tiny, so that it hugged her curves and swallowed her frame. I noticed how her hair brushed over her collarbone when she turned to watch the world fly by outside the car windows. I breathed in her scent, this heady mixture of sweet and floral and young woman. I was surrounded by it in the confines of the vehicle, and I would have been lying if I said it wasn't affecting me.

"You're going to get pulled over," she said, her voice lazy, though I didn't miss the hint of stress laced within.

I laughed, and watched as her eyes took in my apparent joy, absorbing it. They danced and sparkled with mischief and playfulness. At moments like these, I nearly forgot all the pain that I had caused.

I chuckled. "I'm not too worried."

She snorted in mock irritation and rolled her eyes.

"Well, I am. You forget that I am the daughter of the Police Chief. I'm ingrained with a no-speeding moral."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I won't let anyone get hurt while I'm driving, and I won't get stopped. So, you have absolutely nothing to worry about."

"I'm sure your mind-reading has flaws. You can't be right _all_ the time."

"Oh, I _know_ I'm not right all the time, Bella. And _believe_ me, my gift certainly has flaws."I turned my gaze to her, speaking volumes with my stare. Her smile faltered a little, and I felt an immediate sense of regret. I hoped that she would see it for what it was: a truth that it was _my_ fault that made it so I couldn't read her mind. But if I was learning anything about Bella Swan, I figured she wouldn't.

"No, I don't think that it's your fault," she whispered dejectedly. I had been right. She'd taken it all on herself again, thinking herself flawed for my not being able to read her mind. I sighed, reaching over for her hand.

"Listen, Bella. I know that you are hesitant about meeting the Denali coven, but soon, they'll be able to tell you _why_ I can't read your mind."

She nodded. We sat quietly for a few miles, my hand engulfing hers with her other one wrapped around them both.

"Can I ask you something?" she whispered. I hazarded a glance at her, unsure what train of thought her silent mind had wandered down. I nodded.

"I suppose."

"How is it that someone as fast as you thinks it's exciting to drive a car?"

I laughed, pleased that our conversation had turned light again. "Well, I suppose it's the fact that, even though it can't go as fast as me, I can push it, force it, manipulate it. But even when I'm doing that, I can't _fully_ control it. Certainly I'm much faster, and even stronger, on my feet. But as I'm driving, I feel that power apart from myself. It can be exciting. It makes me feel less of a vampire, and more of the human that I'm masquerading as."

"You sound like such a guy, you know. Power and control, and all."

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, I _am_ a guy."

"Oh," Bella chuckled uncomfortably, "I've noticed."

The mood shifted considerably. Her eyes widened and she turned away from me, her lips pressing into the palm she had raised to them. As the landscape blurred past us like watercolors melting into cotton, she sat stone still. I could see the tension in her shoulders. I couldn't interpret the deep feelings simmering under the surface, though, with her eyes turned away from mine. I let out a loud sigh in frustration. It was both for the fact that I couldn't read her, and also for the fact that I reacted so strongly to her. I had a palpable urge to slam the car in park and take her in my arms.

She startled at the sound—an action I'd never imagined before possible for a vampire—and turned back to face me.

I could see her eyes again, but they did nothing to make me understand her more. Her gaze was careful, as If she were protecting herself, but still tender, as if she wanted to protect _me_. She cleared her throat unnecessarily, pushing back her own boundaries for my benefit.

"I can't wait to see where you are taking me," she stated quietly as she once again effectively changed the topic. "Won't you give me a hint?"

"Nope," I told her, unable to hide the smile that was creeping up on my lips. "You'll just have to be patient. But I can't wait for you to see it."

Not an hour after we'd left, we arrived. The sun was glistening, though as I pulled the car to the gravel on the side of the road, it was masked behind a long, low cloud. Not that it mattered much. There was no one around for miles to see us sparkling.

"Where are we?" She was peering out the window in curiosity, oblivious to the place I wanted her to see, mere miles away. There was nothing to mark our place, only my unfathomable vampire mind that had memorized this route with my first visit. I could find my way here in a haze, and I was sure that she would be able to as well. Once she saw it, I doubted she'd forget it.

"We're here," I told her, moving quickly out of the car and to her side to open the door for her. Though she didn't need my assistance, she offered her fingers into my open, waiting palm. The simple gesture made my chest swell, a mixture of tumultuous anticipation and gentlemanly reserve. She rose gracefully, like light and air, at the same time that her lips curled and her eyebrows shot up. The action and her movement combined for the most peculiar effect.

"'_Here_,' as in, the middle of _nowhere_?" I smiled stupidly at her sarcasm, and nodded. To anyone else, our destination would have been redundant, perhaps the exact opposite of what she'd asked of me. Like all our hunting trips, this place was similar. But somehow I knew that she would not feel that way when she saw it. I knew she would see it for what it was. Somehow, I knew the place would affect her as much as it did me.

"Basically," I told her. "Come on. You'll see."

She followed me into the tree line, our hands joined together as I led her. There, there was no sunlight, only traces of the muted sunshine above the canopy. Green and slick, like the inside of a neglected fish tank, the trees protected us, bathing us in filtered light and cold. We could have run, pushing our way to the place that I so desperately wanted to share with her, out of this place that felt more prison than expedition, but still we meandered, going almost as slowly as humans. We took our time, exploring and searching and experiencing and talking. I'd done this before, this slow and careful trek, but with her it felt all new. As if each new step was like walking into the light.

It didn't take us long to get to the spot. The moment she stepped out of the tree cover, her eyes lit up.

For a moment, neither of us spoke. I held an unneeded breath, waiting for something, anything, to pass over her lips. I was waiting in fear and joy and anticipation. Her body was coiled tightly as her eyes darted around the open area, bathed in gloriously clear sunlight. Still in the shadow of the trees, it had not touched her yet and I waited for her to turn back around.

Then, she took a tentative step forward. Her body moved sensually, her hand still in mine. I had not remembered it until she moved, and it jarred me to know I could forget such basic things when I was around her. She pulled me with her and we stepped out into the rays, her body relaxing the moment the light hit her, sending prisms off of her in every direction.

A mewling sound escaped her lips and I shuddered. She turned to me, the most joyous, content expression on her face.

"Edward, this is _beautiful_," she breathed. She let my hand drop and spun slightly, letting her arms levitate from her side. In that moment, dancing amongst the wildflowers in the one place that I loved more than any other, I felt at home.

"It's my favorite place. In the _world_, I think." Her eyes found mine and her returning smile was more dazzling than the light playing off her skin.

"It's the most amazing place I've ever seen." Her eyes darted around again as she took in the sight. The area was open and bright, a near-perfect circle surrounded by shrouding trees. A brook ran along its edge, bubbling and rushing with clean clear water. The tall, unkempt grasses were spattered with wildflowers, deep azure and goldenrod and blush. The meadow was holding on to the last trace of warmth and Summer. Soon, the Fall would let go to Winter. There was peace here that existed nowhere else on earth for me.

"I come here—_alone_—just to feel what it's like to just be _me_," I told her, moving behind her. "With no one else in my head. This is like… my own part of paradise. No one else knows about it. Just you. I've never told anyone else."

Her eyes shot up to mine flashing with something intense. Her lips quivered for a moment and she sighed with something that sounded like desperation.

"Oh, Edward. Why _me_?"

I chuckled, not understanding the joy and sadness and fear that seemed to mix in me all at once.

"Because," I told her. "When I'm with _you_? I don't feel like I need to be alone so much."

She gasped softly and sank down to her knees. Her fingers danced over the long blades of rustling grass and through the lingering wildflowers that hadn't been touched by frost yet. I sat beside her.

"It's perfect," she murmured. "Thank you. For everything. The drive, the walk, this place. For sharing it with me."

My chest swelled knowing I had placed that look of contentment on her face. I moved in closer to her. I could feel the hum of energy that her skin held for me.

"In the Summer, at dusk, is my favorite time to visit. And in Spring," I told her. "In _Spring_, it blooms full, with the most beautiful _tulips_. Thousands of them, everywhere."

"Tulips?" she whispered longingly. "They're my _favorite_. There's something so hopeful about them, so innocent. They remind me of promises and… new beginnings."

She sighed, closed her eyes, and leaned back into my shoulder slightly. I hummed at the contact.

'I'll bring you back," I murmured into her hair. "In Spring, we'll come back. Just you and I."

In all my life, time had never gone so fast. The years seem, sometimes, like a day, an hour, the blink of an eye. My kind does not weigh the world in the same way as humans and animals, our span so infinite that it is not worthy of our consideration. But _that_ day, I had never felt so at ease with the lapse of time. It was not lazy—far from it. It seemed to go by in a flash, though all the memories of the day were ingrained in my skull, evidence that they indeed happened. I watched the sun move across the sky, as if time was speeding by, but still her words were with me, her giggles and admissions. We talked and we laughed and we closed our eyes and were silent. We sat, and we walked, and we lay side by side, and she laid her head in my lap while I brushed the hair off her shoulders, simply watching her.

Before long, I realized that the sun was dipping lower, almost touching the tips of the trees. Bella's skin continued to sparkle, but her glow was less dazzling, shocking, more luminous. I sighed knowing that before long, the Denali coven would be there. It was not fair to them to make them wait for what they'd wanted to see since I'd turned her. I sighed, rolling to my side, where she lay next to me, pushing aside the hunger that flared in me at the fact that she was lying with her eyes closed and a content smile on her face.

I was about to tell her that it was time to return, to face the strange trepidation she'd had since finding out about our extended family, knowing that when I did, and when we left this place, the bubble that we'd been in all day would burst. I wanted to stay here with her forever. I opened my eyes and was hit with an unexpected drop of water, right between my eyes.

It was the first of many, light raindrops that began to fall on and around us. A gentle shower started, one that I'd been too preoccupied to notice. The tiny drops were sporadic. The sun still shone brightly, though I could see the darker, denser clouds moving in, ready to block our sun. It was the physical reminder that we needed to leave, that our day was just that: a _day_.

I sighed noticing that she was looking up at me. I smiled in response, feeling so _normal_. I was not excited to return to the real normalcy of my life, the one where I was an old vampire who could read minds. I rose, and held out my hand to her, letting her take it. She rose next to me.

"I don't want to go home," she whispered.

"I know," I told her, feeling the full force of our return weighing on me.

Despite the fact that the rain didn't affect us the way that it did humans, I still hated the way the rain-soaked clothes clung to us. I hated the way the material would hold on to us, like suctions holding on for dear life. The rain continued to escalate but still we hadn't moved.

I may not have left had I not looked down at her then. Had I not taken in her slight form, I might have thrown all cares away, and remained out there with her until someone happened to come and find us.

But I did look down, and what I saw both terrified and excited me in a way I had never known before. It was both pleasure and pain, both ecstasy and hell, all rolled into one. I licked my lips at the same time that I shied away in embarrassment. I quivered and shook in the same breath that I felt as If I was burning alive. I wanted to cover her and expose her all at once.

The rain was light but it did not stop the way that Bella's white top began to claw at her body. The spots where the water landed soaked the fabric that clung to her soft, pale flesh, making it nearly useless. I could see each thread, slowly and tortuously swelling and soaking, becoming stretched and nearly translucent. It attached itself for her form, delicate and tiny, but at the same time round and womanly. Fire burned in me, a primal need making itself known when it had long been so dormant. I trembled and licked my lips.

The rain began to come down in sheets. Bella noticed my gaze, the way that my eyes raked over her body, too afraid and exhilarated to move. She gasped softly and moved to cover herself, her arms wrapping around her torso, shielding herself from me. I turned away quickly and muttered incoherent apologies.

I had managed to ruin the moment with her, our whole day ending in this shameful display of weakness. I tugged on her hand, guiding her back to the car without word, my unbeating heart sinking in sadness and regret. Even after all that we'd shared, I'd managed to ruin this one perfect thing between us. Now, forever, she would equate this place with the monster that lives in me.

We ran, _fast_—faster than my car could go, faster than a train, or lightning. The rain was drenching us, and I kept my eyes forward, away from her, knowing that if I looked back, her shirt would be even more soaked through. I could not do that to her, so I refused to look at her. The feeling of her hand in mine was the only reminder that she was still there with me. And the only thing I would take from her.

Even when I heard her name fall from my lips in a plea, I did not turn around. I continued on, my sole goal to return her to the car, where I could allow her to cover with a shirt from the backseat. I could not focus on anything but that task, and I ignored her when she begged.

"Edward," she whimpered softly. "_Please_."

Again, her words fell on deaf ears. It was not until she halted abruptly that I took any notice.

Because her strength was the only thing that could have stopped me.

Our hands did not release from each other, and I got the feeling that she wasn't going to allow it. One moment I was flying through the trees with her trailing me, the next I was lying on the forest floor, bathed in dark emerald light. The suddenness of her action had caused us to jumble, falling over one another on the mossy ground. We propelled twenty feet from just her stopping, and I was above her, hovering over her.

The rain was coming down hard, so hard that had I been human, I would not have seen through it. It fell around us loudly, bouncing of tree stumps and rocks and splashing in puddles. It covered us like a blanket. I propped myself above her, our bodies close in a position akin to intimacy, as it coated us.

We were drenched now. No amount of effort on my part had helped. Her white blouse clung to her like a second skin. We were so painfully, perfectly, sensually aligned, and I growled low in my chest. Everything was wet. My pants clung to my legs, saturating them. My shirt flattened itself over my back, pressed against every muscle and dip. Bella's white shirt was obliterated. It no longer hid anything from me. It draped over her body like liquid itself, accentuating her body in a way that I failed to see before. Over her collarbones and her shoulders and around her ribcage as if her shirt itself was made of nothing more than water. I could see everything that I'd seen so many times in the thoughts of others—but Bella was so much more beautiful than what mere men's minds could fantasize about.

The fabric pulled over her breasts, soft and full where they lay against her ribcage. Though she was not affected by the temperature, her nipples were taut and pointed. I growled again as she watched me, her eyes fearful and waiting, but excited and wanting. Her breathing was fast and deep, like panting, and it caused her to brush up against my chest over and over again. She bit her lip, her body heaving against me. I held her stationary with my hips, knowing that if she moved, I might come undone.

Her heat made me sway, and I opened my mouth to taste her scent on my tongue as it swirled in the air around me, relishing the way that her flavor was that much more tantalizing with the stirrings of the rain. Stirrings of so much _more_ than rain.

So long this side of me had been forgotten, as I'd long ago resigned to live this way. My body stirred and clenched with sudden need to unleash it from its prison in my heart. I trembled at the feelings of control that I was letting slip. I wanted it. I needed it. I needed _her_.

She whimpered, and I looked down at her again, _seeing_ her there. The water had soaked into her hair, which like her clothes, now clung at her. A tendril lay across her forehead, glued there. Tentatively, I reached up and brushed it away. My fingers caressed her forehead, over her brow and pushed it away from her. But I did not stop my traitorous hands. They meandered down her temple, and down her nose. She closed her eyes, the water droplets soaking her eyelashes, and opened her lips. The rain water washed over her, drips falling down the corner of her eyes as if she were crying, and over her eyelids and her full, parted lips. I trailed my fingertips over them, feeling the soft plumpness of them as they gave a little to my touch. Her breath whooshed out though my fingers and over my face.

"_God_, Bella," I moaned, though it was strangled and tortured. "_Painfully_ beautiful."

She gasped. Her eyes opened, and I felt as if I could see into her soul. I knew she had one. At that moment, there was no doubt. Somehow, she had managed to beat the system, this perfect, gorgeous creature, who had been turned by a beast. She had a soul, despite what we all were. Despite what _I _was. Her soul rested safely in her, my monstrous venom having failed to rob her of it.

She moaned softly as I leaned in, her breathy pants falling from her lips. All I wanted was to _feel_ her, to know she was here with me and not some figment of my sadistic imagination. I had to hold her, and feel her, and taste her, and… and…

And _love_ her.

The realization struck me so forcefully that time stopped. I felt the world crashing in on me, halting my understanding of the natural order of things. Somewhere, life outside this moment existed. But _not_ for _me_, not now. There was humming, delicious and dangerous. My body quaked with the need that I'd suppressed. Never before had I felt my instincts so powerfully. If I thought I'd been a vampire before, I'd been wrong. Not until this moment. Now I knew.

I leaned in, unable to stop myself. I no longer had control. She was everything. She was the _only_ thing.

She moaned and arched into me. The action caused a sensuous ripple through me. I held her tight to me and angled her so that all I needed was an inch. In less than the blink of an eye I could have tasted her on my tongue and began to satisfy all my needs. Raw and unbridled and selfish, things that I'd always lacked until she wandered into my life.

My body burned. My abdomen clenched. My chest tightened. I felt the tingling that I'd suppressed my whole life. My body came _alive_ for her, only her. So dangerous she was, this little creature. My thighs itched, my hips flexed, my pelvis trembled, and I nearly saw stars at the way I pressed into her hip, such unnerving pleasure. I quaked and vibrated and moaned and leaned in to make her mine. I had never felt so primal, so urged by my own carnal desires.

And more than anything, I wanted to protect her, and love her, and worship her. I wanted my name to fall from her lips. I wanted to feel her against all of me, and curl into my side as I whispered my love for her into her hair.

At that moment, I realized that my phone buzzed annoyingly in my pocket. I'd been oblivious to it, too consumed by the vibrations that Bella caused in me—they were so similar. The sound jolted me out of my haze, and I gasped at what had almost just transpired between us. Bella had an agonizing look on her face—whether it was because of the interruption or the forwardness of my actions, I couldn't be sure. In that moment, the air seemed to break around us, shattering into a million tiny pieces.

I flipped open my phone, sighing dejectedly. It was Alice.

"Alice, what is it?" The words came out snarled and I forced the bursting white light of anger behind my eyes to calm.

"I'm _so_ sorry, Edward. God, _really_ bad timing, I know." She was genuinely apologetic, but I still growled a little.

"Is everything alright?" I asked through gritted teeth. I knew my first priority should be to my family, but I was having a hard time remembering that. Suddenly, all else had become less important. There was a pause, and I knew she was hesitant to tell me why she'd called.

"They're… _here_," she whispered through the phone. I closed it, knowing that no more needed to be said. In those two words, she'd told me tomes. Tanya, Eleazar, Carmen were waiting, all of them, and they wanted to meet Bella. Now.

For a moment, the world was still. Our bodies still vibrated with the intensity of our moment, but something had changed. I was no longer consumed, controlled by my lust and need.

But still, I was _changed_.

"I'm sorry," I told her dejectedly, quietly, averting my eyes. I didn't want to see the look of disgust on her face from the way I had forced myself on her. She snorted lightly, but didn't otherwise say anything. I peeked at her, and she too was looking away from me, a sad, sardonic smile on her face. "We should go back. They are waiting for us."

She nodded weakly, and I thought I saw her lip quiver a little.

The rain had eased. It was as if it was sent to torment me, to tease and tantalize me, only to withdrawal and take her with it. We returned to the car, both of us silent, lost in our own thoughts. I handed her the abandoned shirt that I had thought I wanted her to wear so badly, and she slipped it on wordlessly, avoiding my gaze. The entire ride back was heavy with the same unspoken tension.

I played over the scenario in my head. I understood what had just transpired likely better than anyone, yet I had not seen it coming. I couldn't have imagined that this was how it was to be. I deserved this, like my own Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, she was there tempting me, begging me, seducing me, but I could not touch her. For all my sins, I'd been given the most delectable of fruit, but I would never have the right to it.

_All this time?_ I thought. Why had I not noticed it? Thinking back, there had been so many signs, the way I could not leave her, or the way that I wanted to protect her, even from myself. I needed her, more than I'd ever needed anything, and the idea of letting her exist somewhere where I couldn't be had been like raking my body with hot coals. The fierce protectiveness. Mostly, the way my body stirred with lust and anticipation, and a primal hunger that paled my bloodlust in comparison.

One moment. One bolt of lightning-fast heat. One second that seemed to stand still. That was all it took.

I pulled into the drive, immediately sensing the extra thoughts that were in such a close proximity. A whole extra coven to wade through. Neither of us spoke as the car slowed and came to a stop. I hadn't had the courage to look at her, or speak, knowing that I now possessed a dangerous knowledge. We exited the car and Bella braced herself for the onslaught, casting me a regretful look and squaring her shoulders. Despite the fact that I was afraid, I knew she was too, so I reached over and took her hand as we walked up the porch. Only, I didn't know if she was more terrified of the new vampires within, or me.

Her hand fit so perfectly with mine, I felt like I had found my anchor to the world. But just as quickly as my elation spread, it also deflated.

I _loved_ Isabella Swan. My love, my reason for living, who I'd brutally sired. My singer. My _mate_.

…and I couldn't _have_ her. Because I'd never _deserve_ her.

For what souled, perfect beauty could ever love a monster like me?

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**End Notes:** There it is: HE KNOWS! … AND, he's still Edward. (Denseward, so aptly named by one of my wonderful readers) _So_, there's lots of doubt, and fear, and hesitation. Sorry. He's melodramatic and blind as a bat as far as Bella goes. But please keep in mind this is only two weeks out. They're vampires, so things move that much faster for them. Next up: the Denali Clan… wonder what THAT will be like ;)

So, I stumbled on a little fic this past weekend called **Falling Beyond Redemption**, by Aleeab4u. I am sure most of you are reading it, and if you aren't you absolutely should be. At the risk of sounding trite, it is hands down, one of the most beautiful, heart-breaking, frightening, and amazing things I have ever read. Literally, and not just in the fanfic world. It takes what Stephenie Meyer gave us, and elevates it to a whole new realm. I am only rec'ing it because it is so unbelievable, though I am humbled as a writer just from reading it. WARNING, though, it is not for the faint of heart, or for Jacob-lovers. He is there, but it is _not_ the Jacob that you have known. If you are a Bella/Edward lover, though, you must read it. Their love is breathtaking in this story, and I only hope my B/E love will be a fraction of what this fic has.

I have made it my goal to read it to the hubs once he's finished the saga. Yep, it's the only way he'll read it. And yes, it's that good.

Anywho, thank you for reading. I hope Edward's realization satisfy's everyone. He's only just getting it, and over the next chapters, the depth of his understanding will grow. Please let me know what you think. Click that little button below! ;) Love to all!


	11. Chapter 11: Crossed Wires Shorted Needs

**Author's Note:** *Peeks out from refuge* Hi…um, hi all… First of all, I want to apologize to all of you who left me wonderful reviews, and who I never got responses to. I read every one, sometimes over and over if they make me squeal, and I want you to know that I love them. And appreciate them like mad. Secondly, I want to sincerely apologize for the delay. I never anticipated when I posted the last chapter that I would have so much happen in my RL that would take me away. I won't bore you with too many details, and I want **no** sympathy (got it!), but my husband was badly injured at his job. Plus, we've moved, I've added another job, and we are potentially facing some major life changes as we go into the new year. Needless to say, I've neglected my own needs for a while.

(Before all of you wonderful people start typing your concerns for the hubs, he's fine. He's in pretty great shape now, and he's getting better every day. Still reading my writing and being the wonderful supportive person he is. So no need to fret, cause he's great!)

Anyway, enough with the excuses. I'm just happy to be back. Hopefully you are all still with me. I want to thank you for all the support, and still reading the story if you are.

Here's a recap: Bella was changed after a deadly accident. Edward is drawn to her for some unknown reason. He vows never to leave her, though he knows he'll never be good enough for her. Over the first few weeks of her change, they've been getting closer and closer—we can just feel the good ol' loving vibes. After one fateful outing, they get caught in the rain. UST ensues and they get THISCLOSE, but alas, the Denali coven shows up, and Alice feels the need to let them know…

Okay, kids. If your still with me, here it is: Chapter 11! (Finally! _Whew_…)

**Chapter 11: Playlist Song: **_**When You Come Back Down**__,_ byNickel Creek

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 11: Crossed Wires, Shorted-out Needs**

The door swung open, almost soundlessly, the air rushing in behind us. Inside the large foyer, it was still, no natural sounds pressing themselves upon us as we walked in. But we could both hear them, feel their presence around us, despite the fact that they were speaking no louder than a hum. Upstairs, they waited together—all of them, both those that knew her already and those that had not yet met her—waited to see the newest member of our family. Waited to meet the miracle that was my mate.

_My mate_. My body trembled with the knowledge that this was the truth. I hazarded a glance down at her, this woman who had turned me upside down. I hadn't understood this feeling of change in me, even as it was happening before my very eyes, but I should have known all along. The need that I always felt to be near her, the sense of completeness, it had been there from the moment she'd called my name. Hell, it had probably been there from the moment I saw her, so many months ago—this pull that I couldn't resist.

My thoughts immediately turned dark again when I remembered those moments. The way that I had wanted to taste her, to drain her, to leave her lifeless. How could I have wanted that? And then again, when she had been dying and I'd been the one to kill her. So badly I'd wanted to sink my teeth into her and pull her life from her body violently. My hand tightened at the memories. It was only when I felt Bella's hand squeeze me back that I remembered her hand laced with mine, the way that our fingers wove together. The tender feeling of our wrists wrapped together and our palms pressed against one another. She sighed beside me.

I shook myself of the cloying memories and refocused my attention to the meeting at hand. She was tense, her whole body wound so tightly from the strain that I thought she would burst. But at the same time, her eyes danced with anticipation. Her fear of meeting the Denali coven was evident, but we both knew that it would mean answers to her most dire questions. And mine too. This suddenly meant even more than before, more than just learning the reasons for her silent mind: It meant learning the power of my other half.

"Are you ready?" I asked leaning in and whispering in her ear. She stilled and shivered. With my newfound understanding of our bond, it was difficult to pull away from her. How close I would be to lean down and press my lips at her throat, to pull her to me and murmur my devotion to her. I restrained myself with the knowledge that my family was waiting. Sighing, I settled for tugging her close and feeling her tucked against me.

"No." She shook her head and sighed. "Let's go."

I chuckled at her resigned tone and led her up the stairs, step by step. She allowed it, using me for support.

Every eye was on us when we finally made our way to the landing. Their thoughts radiated the joy for our return, expectance, reluctance. A flash of incredulity passed through someone's mind and through my brain at the sight of Bella against me. It caused me to jerk my head up and search out the familiar tenor of her thoughts; my eyes caught the tall blonde's next to Eleazar momentarily before I turned my attention to the dark, stately man and the warm, Spanish vampire beside him.

"Eleazar," I greeted. "Thank you so much for coming to help us." I took a step forward, pulling Bella with me, and offered him my hand. He took it, and I turned my attention to Carmen. "And you, Carmen, thank you so much for bringing everyone."

Carmen smiled warmly and reached up to pat my arm. I glanced over and noticed the way Bella's eyes were darting around to each of the newcomers. To the naked eye, she seemed cautious and reserved, but still open to her situation. But I saw that the fear still settled low inside her. The urge to lift her up into my arms and rush her away to some secluded place was staggering. For just a moment I considered doing just that, my more carnal instincts rearing up, but the feel of her flush against me and the steady rhythm of her breathing grounded me. I smiled at all our guests. "_This_ is Bella."

"We've been waiting, Edward," Eleazar said, with steady eyes. Though he was a mask of calm and control, his tone was not unfriendly, and he turned to Bella immediately and took her free hand in both of his. "Bella," he said warmly. "It is very nice to finally have the opportunity to meet you."

"Yes, Bella," Carmen said, removing herself from her husband and pulling Bella into her arms. "We couldn't wait to meet you."

Bella was a bit startled at the sudden, friendly contact, but she embraced her back. I had to let her go in order to allow Carmen's arms to wrap her up, and I bristled a little as we lost contact. Carmen shot me a questioning look over Bella's shoulder, her eyebrows lifting and her smile widening. I avoided her gaze and her curious thoughts.

"Ah, thanks," Bella said softly, returning a genuine smile. "I really appreciate that you all came to see me. To, ah, help me."

She looked around the room at each of the remaining sisters. Kate and Irina had risen from their places on the sofa and had come up beside Carmen and Eleazar.

"Hello, Bella," Kate said. "I'm Kate, and this is Irina." They each took her hand in turn, and she greeted them politely. "When we'd heard that Edward had brought you home, we couldn't _wait_ to meet you."

_We all nearly had heart attacks at that news! Never thought I'd see the day where _you _would change someone_, Kate thought.

Irina, too, remembered how surprised that they had been to hear that _I_ had been someone's sire. Eleazar had gotten off the phone with Carlisle that very evening, ready to come help if necessary.

Kate continued to speak to me in silence.

_We wondered about that—_she_ had been especially worried about you, Edward._

Kate nodded minutely to the edge of our circle to the normally-fierce blonde waiting patiently. She was watching us carefully. At that moment I realized that this was likely the hardest introduction I'd have to make.

I'd never tried to lead Tanya on. For all the times she'd offered herself to me and I'd refused, she'd never allowed that to change her opinion of me. There had never been any awkwardness on her end, even if I'd felt stifled at times. I'd hoped over the years her fervor for my attention would wane. But that was simply not who she was. Despite how many times I refused her, she did not let it bring her down or inhibit her for future propositions. It was both exhausting and endearing.

She was sure of herself despite the fact that I never gave her what she wanted. She laughed as I smiled and shook my head dismissively at her suggestions. I teased her for her advances and she teased back, hoping I'd someday feel as lonely as she secretly did and give in to her desperate want—even if it was just physical. And though I never did, she'd always bounced back. She retained the sparkle in her eyes and the coy, flirtatious smile—the swagger in her hips—despite how I rejected her. But that smile was gone as she stood and looked on at Bella.

Tanya stood watching us warily and guarding her thoughts from me carefully. After so long trying to earn my love, and my six months spending my time with the Denali coven, she'd become quite skilled at blocking me out. A small sad smile turned up on her lips when she saw me watching her, and she sighed. For a moment, she regarded me, and only me, our eyes locked. There, in the depths of her, I saw the light fade slightly from her eyes.

It only lasted a moment before she fixed her carefully-constructed façade. She smiled a brilliant smile, squared her shoulders, and sauntered forward. Bella was watching her movements apprehensively, this girl that looked more like a strong woman than the frightened child she actually was.

Tanya reached out and gently took Bella's hand at the same moment that I wrapped mine closer around her waist. She smiled down at her, tilting her head to the side at the beauty beside me.

"Bella," she said smoothly, almost seductively, "it's so good to finally get a chance to put a face to the name. For the last few weeks we've been dying to meet you. I suppose it's about time." She looked at me and her eyebrows rose.

_It was only a matter of time, I suppose. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, Edward. But I must say, I _am _a little surprised. Never pegged you for someone who'd take on a brunette. I was so sure that you'd be the kind of man who'd like it a little more… _wild_. _ Her thoughts were as snarky as she always came across—confident, sensual, sure. But then she sighed, and at that moment, seemed to give something up entirely. Here inner tone turned serious. _She's beautiful._

She smiled secretly at me, but I didn't miss the undercurrents of sadness that weaved in and out of her thoughts. For the first time since I'd known her, Tanya seemed defeated.

Did she know? How was it that she could understand the hold that Bella had for me after mere minutes in our presence? How had I missed it when I'd been living it? Did everyone know the truth, that this beautiful creature was the gravity that held me to the earth, my purpose for existing, the soul that I didn't possess? Suddenly, like someone had switched stations, all their thoughts flooded my mind with remarkable clarity.

_He knows!_

_Finally!_

_Clueless and self absorbed. God, how can someone so smart be so stupid some time._

_Edward, your mate. I'm so happy._

_Son, I'm very proud._

_Edward, I'm so sorry. Please don't be mad._

…_Poor Tanya…_

I turned to each one of my family members, hoping to calm their excitement for my apparently-very-late discovery. Though they all knew, I willed them to keep it quiet. Eventually, she would figure it all out, and then I'd have to deal with whatever that meant for us, but I couldn't do that to her tonight. This was about her figuring out what her talent was. This is what she'd been waiting for, what she'd been worried about and needing. I would tell her and confront this aspect of out lives when the time was right, but not then. Not today.

_She is interesting, this one. Very interesting._

Eleazar's thought refocused my attention back to the reason for our being summoned back. He was musing about how interesting he found Bella, but nothing in his thoughts was clear enough to pinpoint his discovery. I willed myself patient, knowing that he was still formulating his opinions about Bella's gift. It was a struggle that took nearly all my focus.

"What do you see?" I asked him softly, noting the quietness in his own mind.

He looked at me, his eyes clear, but his mind bare to me. He was good at blocking me out—he always had been. Since I'd met Eleazar, I'd never met anyone that could block me out as well as he could. That is, until Bella. Eleazar didn't fill his head with uselessness to distract me, or force his mind to halt its train. Instead, he simply cleared it. I'd never experienced anything like it. I attributed his ability to keep me out to his time in Volterra.

A confused look passed over his features and he shook his head to rid himself of his thoughts, before they had even seemingly passed through his mind.

"Now is not the time," he told me calmly. I wanted to jump forward, grab him by the lapels and scream at him to tell us what it was about her. My body vibrated with it. I wanted to shake him, and demand he explain her quiet mind to me. She was my mate! Had her hand not been on my arm I might have.

_Edward, calm down. _Jasper's voice echoed through my head just before I felt the waves of calm hit me. Eleazar smiled and shook his head.

"I thought, perhaps, you might both like to change out of your wet clothes before we sat down to discuss Bella's gift."

I'd forgotten our sodden clothes from being caught in the rain—Bella's wet, white shirt that clung to her, and her muddy, darkened jeans. I felt suddenly foolish, letting my emotions get the better of me, when I should have been the one to offer that to her. I hazarded a glance at the woman beside me. She was looking up at me, her bottom lip pressed under her teeth, and she nodded.

"Of course," I admitted, ashamed that I had failed to think of such a thing. She had to have been uncomfortable. Despite the fact that she was mostly dry now, and covered with one of my shirts from the car, our sloppy appearance was a likely reminder of what had almost transpired. I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck.

Bella was watching me expectantly. Her eyes were round as saucers, the terror behind them clear. Her hand was firmly gripped in mine, and even though I'd assaulted her not thirty minutes before, she was pressed tightly against me, unwilling to let go. I couldn't wait to know how that was possible.

"Would you like to change, or take a shower?" I asked her gently. "We can start this after you get out."

She released a held breath, and I could see her face soften. As much as she wanted to know, I was sure that she didn't, all at the same time. She began nodding.

"Yes. That would be…good." She shot me a pained look that I couldn't quite place. The air between us had been shifting, back and forth, between the peaceful comfort and charged emotion. I hoped her hesitation was not caused by me.

"Go," I told her, nudging her gently towards the stairs. "We'll all be waiting when you're ready."

She'll gave me a parting glance and a grateful nod to everyone. Our hands hung between us until the last second until our arms would not extend any further and our fingers were forced to unwind. When finally she ascended the stairs and I heard the shower start, I let out a held breath of my own.

My family's thoughts bombarded me, radiating curiosity and joy and aggravation and understanding at the newest development between us. Bella was my mate, and they all knew it, even those that had just joined us. My eyes shot up to Alice immediately. Without a word, I left the room to find at least a little bit of solace in the kitchen, my mind reeling with everyone's intrusive thoughts. I leaned against the counter, feeling the smooth marble beneath my fingertips.

How could I have been so foolish? How could I deny what had been there all along? Bella was my mate, and she was right in front of me. I'd been waiting a century for her. Even as a human I had been waiting for her. I could have never known that I would find her like this. But then, the others had had similar experiences, hadn't they? Hadn't Carlisle found Esme as she lay dying, and changed her as his mate? And Rosalie, when Emmett had been mauled by a bear? She, too, knew that changing him was her only option, that she couldn't live without him.

But I had missed it, though all the signs were there. They knew. So why hadn't I? The only thing I could think of was that I was alone in my need. Perhaps she did not feel the same way for me as I felt for her. I was not alone long enough to continue this train of thought before I could feel the apologetic tenor of someone's thoughts.

"Alice," I sighed.

"Edward," she said softly, still lingering in the doorway. It was unlike Alice to be so unsure, though I hadn't decided yet if I was willing to forgive her for her interruption. I turned and watched her as she hopped from foot to foot. "I'm so, _so_ sorry."

"Why was it so important that we come home?" I asked, stepping close to her. Not a few seconds longer and my lips would have been pressed against Bella's. Had she refrained for a moment to make that call, I would have had her pressed into me, melting into me. I would have known what it was like to taste her breath and feel the soft roundness of her lips. I gritted my teeth at the knowledge that I'd been so close to the edge and so willing to fall.

"I know, Edward. I do," she pleaded with me, "but I couldn't let you kiss her. _Look_."

As clearly as it were happening in front of me just then, I saw Alice's vision.

We were lying on the forest floor, our bodies aligned in the most intimate of ways. The rain was pelting us, drenching my back and shoulders and her hair where my face was not covering it. Our lips were so close, a mere centimeter away. I remembered it so well, the sensual feeling of her body, her womanly warmth right where I needed her. It was all as perfectly as I remembered.

But then the vision changed. Where Alice should have called then, there was nothing, no shattering of the natural earth sounds by the shrill ringing of my phone, no vibrating in my pocket. Instead of an interruption, there was completion. I lowered myself and nuzzled her with my nose, and she watched me, her eyes hooded and wanting. She parted her lips and we were connected and perfect.

Even simply watching it play out, I _experienced _ the way her hands trailed up into my hair. I could _feel_ her little fingers as they twisted and tugged and pulled. I could _taste_ her sweet breath on my tongue, the gingered flavor of sweetness and lotus flowers. I could feel the warmth of her breasts pressed against me again, the rain water seeping between the miniscule space between us. Like everything I'd ever imagined, it was like stepping through the gates of Oblivion, and I was only seeing it in Alice's head.

But then, the Bella of Alice's vision gasped. Her lips fell away from mine and she rose, scrambling back and covering her swollen bottom lip with one hand, and her soaking breasts with the other. We were both breathing heavily, simply watching each other through the pouring rain. I could feel the weight of her action as it heaved in my chest and broke through my ribcage. And as her face fell and twisted painfully, she shook her head, choked on a sob, and _ran_.

Alice's vision disintegrated in front of me. We both remained silent as I processed the fact that had I kissed her, Bella would have retreated from me. I couldn't understand the forlorn expression on her face, or the way that her body trembled—not with desire or anticipation, but defeat. Something about that kiss would have broken her. I didn't understand. All I knew was that the knowledge of it was threatening to break _me._

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I knew the second I saw it that I had to stop you."

I nodded, acknowledging that I had heard her.

"Kissing me did that to her," I said softly.

"No," she said, reaching over and touching my arm. "Not in the way you're thinking… I _think_." She scrunched her nose up at the convoluted sentence. "Edward, I think you need to tell her. These feelings are strange to any of us, but she's only just become a vampire. She's still trying to process all of this. And I think whatever her gift is, it's making it harder for her in some ways. You need to tell her what is going on between the two of you, and let her go with that. It shouldn't be so confusing that way."

"And what am I to think of your vision? Alice, what if she wants nothing to _do_ with me?" My voice rose in near panic, as my mind rushed with the possibility that she didn't want me, or need me, or love me the same way I did her. I looked away from my sister. My voice shook. "What if she _is_ my mate, but _I_ am not _hers_."

"Oh, Edward," she said, wrapping her little arms around me. Her touch did nothing to give me comfort. It wasn't Alice's arms I wanted wrapped around me. It would never be another's, besides the little vampire's who had managed to give me hope and tear me apart, all in one moment. "I don't know if that's even possible. But you'll never know until _she_ does."

I sighed again, knowing she was right. I needed to tell her. But not now.

I heard the bathroom door click open, the sound of Bella's quiet padding on the floor upstairs. Alice and I looked up at the noise. Silently, we returned to the room just as she was coming down the steps. Her hair hung wet and loose around her shoulders, darkened and slick from the water clinging to it. It was dark as mahogany, with tendrils of red hanging around her face. She paused before her feet hit the bottom step, and I instinctively closed the distance that was still between us, taking her hand in mine and leading her down slowly. She smiled sweetly at me.

"You didn't change," she said. Her eyes caught mine, and for a moment, I saw her as she'd been before—before I'd changed her. Her skin held the warmth from the shower, radiating with it. Her lips were pink and plump. For a moment, I thought I saw her eyes swirl like melted chocolate before they gleamed red again.

In all my existence, I'd never wanted anything besides my humanity back. Even when I'd been drowning my fate with vigilante justice, I'd secretly only prayed for it to end, to bring on some sort of afterlife that would remove me from this state of Limbo. I'd never had hopes or dreams, after I was turned. I never looked forward to the next day. I never found any real joy in anything.

Until a few weeks ago, I'd had nothing to live for. And until a few hours ago, I'd never hoped that she'd live for me.

Unfortunately, I already knew I wasn't _worth_ living for.

I sighed and squeezed her hand.

"No. I'm fine. Come on," I whispered, "let's go see what makes you tick."

She nodded and tucked herself into my side. Despite my better judgment, I relished the feeling of her next to me. Under my arm, she just fit. Her little waist molded into my hip. Her arm snaked around my back and fit perfectly between my shoulder blades, where her hand fisted my shirt. Her head fit in the crook of my shoulder. It was like she was made for me. What a cruel joke it was that she was physically my match, yet her soul was so out of my reach!

I led her to the living room where the rest of them were sitting, waiting. Carlisle and Esme were sitting on the loveseat. Alice had perched herself in Jaspers lap on the matching chair. Emmett and Rosalie stood behind them, their arms wrapped around each other. Across from my parents, Eleazar sat, alone on the long white sofa. Carmen stood behind the couch, her hands on her husband's shoulders, and the sisters sat on the floor next to the long mahogany coffee table that resided in the center. We'd interrupted their light conversation with our entrance, but it was forgotten the moment we'd come. They were all eager to find out what Eleazar had seen. And he _had _seen enough to know what Bella's vampire talent was. I was certain of that much. It was unfortunate that he was highly skilled at keeping me out.

"Bella," Eleazar said warmly, holding his hands out to her in invitation to sit beside him. She gave me a quick glance, and I nodded to her, encouraging her to go on. I had no intention of leaving her side. Eleazar's thick accent was both frightening and calming.

"Are you feeling better now?" He asked her, once we had settled into the cushions. She nodded. "That's good. I know you are eager to find out your very special gift, but it is important that you are comfortable."

She smiled genuinely as he warmed her up to the task at hand. Though I'd never noticed before, he had a fatherly feel about him. He was much different than Carlisle; Carlisle radiated pride and love where Eleazar was cool and quiet. Where my father was affectionate, Eleazar was distanced and gruff. But he was no less a father. He was somewhat militant, and was often hard, but his thoughts radiated nothing but protective instincts for my little mate. I'd been able to read his thoughts for as long as I'd known him, but I'd never seen him in this light. I recognized it, now, immediately. His circle had moved from simply fathering the sisters, to now being a father figure to Bella. I was appreciative.

"You are very unique," he whispered, leaning in conspiratorially. "Carlisle, and Edward, have told me about your remarkable progress. I must say, I was speculating about what your gift was before we arrived. I don't think it has prepared me for what I have found."

Bella was watching him, both eager and afraid. I watched the emotions play over her face, all of them intense and pure. She didn't speak a word—no one did. We were all holding breathes waiting for it to come out. It was like wobbling on the edge of a cliff. We were only waiting to let go.

"You, are a truly amazing little creature."

It all happened in a moment, all at the same time. He smiled warmly again and his body shifted. Bella wiggled into my side, ever so slightly, and I squeezed her shoulder. Emmett leaned forward and growled with frustration, so quietly it would have been lost on us if we weren't immortal. Rosalie elbowed him. His eyes met mine for a moment, and he let me in.

Like a rush, I was consumed by her all over again. I gasped slightly.

"She's a _shield_," I whispered.

My family's thoughts were instantly frantic, hitting me in rapid-fire succession. They had so many questions—_I_ had so many questions—which meant that Bella likely did too. I looked down at her, and she was watching me, her brow furrowed. I reached down and brushed the hair back behind her ear and the creases in her forehead softened. I beamed down at her, hoping to ease some of the fear I saw on her face. This was nothing but a good thing, and I wanted her to know it. She smiled back at me, her lips turning up. I squeezed her shoulders and kissed her forehead. Her body relaxed.

By the time we were done with our private exchange, everyone was shaken out of their stupor and ready to ask questions. Eleazar was grinning ear to ear. It was my father, our leader, who started.

"A shield! My goodness, Bella. So, she's like Renata, then?" Carlisle asked, his voice rising with excitement. I knew my father too well to think that his elation over such news could be anything like how the Volturi would react—he didn't want her gift for his own selfish gain, as they would. Carlisle radiated his pride for his newest daughter's talent. It was rare and something to be treasured, in the same way that he treasured each of us. I couldn't help but agree. It set my heart at ease to think that her gift would offer her some sort of protection. Eleazar grunted and shook his head.

"No, at least not completely," he said, his eyes narrowing at Bella. She shifted a little under his intense gaze, snuggling deeper into my side. "The basis of her powers are _essentially_ the same. She creates a barrier, which in turn protects her. The difference is that her ability is her own right now, and it is second-nature. She's not trying—it simply _exists_. And for that reason, I am unable to truly see what her gift is—she's not letting me in. It's raw and unpracticed, of course, but she is very strong. The only reason I know what she is, is because I cannot get around her to see it."

I heard Rosalie snort from her perch in the corner.

"So, let me get this straight. You can't see anything in her, so you _think_ she's a shield. How do you know she just doesn't have a gift at all?" I shot her a nasty glare from where I sat, and Emmett looked apologetic. Eleazar chuckled.

"Oh, she _has_ a gift. To be sure."

I smiled smuggly, having the ability to see what he sees. Eleazar was unique in his own right. His own talent allowed him to see a glimpse into another immortal's brain, to piece it together and see how it operated, like the tiny cogs of an intricate timepiece. Though he couldn't read their thoughts, he could see and feel and know exactly the mechanisms that drove them. Their talent stemmed from all of that.

But with Bella, there was nothing. He could not see her synapses firing. He could not hear the quiet whisperings or echoes in her brain. He couldn't feel the pulses as they wrapped around her power and whisked it away. He simply saw nothing. Like me, he was at a loss. And that is where his surety came from.

"But _I_ can see parts of her future," Alice argued. I was instantly awarded a vision of Bella and I, laughing, playfully hunting in a nearby woods. The vision, evidence that she could indeed see Bella's future, made me smile like a giddy fool. She, too, understood the way that Eleazar's gift worked—and her own. "Why can _I_ see her future, if you can't get a good read on her? When Jasper can't, or Edward can't?"

"I can't be sure," Eleazar hummed. "It's peculiar. But you may have hit the nail on the head you're your own words. '_Parts of her future.' _Perhaps there are holes, places where she is unable to grasp her own gift—where she allows it to lapse because of how new her talent is, or because it tires her. Or, perhaps you are simply getting lucky." His eyebrows rose in his playful chide to my sister.

"I do not get 'lucky,'" she said. Her hand rose up instantly and stopped Emmett before he had the opportunity to add his own comment. She didn't even look his way. "And before you decided to utter something highly inappropriate about my sex life, Emmett Cullen, I'd like to remind you that I am the one who warns you when you are about to put your foot in your mouth with your wife. You'd be groveling a whole hell of a lot more without me, _dear brother_."

"Or, perhaps," Carlisle interjected, trying to steer them in another direction, "her innate gift is a defense mechanism. Perhaps it is triggered by another vampire's gift, one that she feels is intrusive or aggressive. In Alice's case, she is not trying to control. Maybe if the talent is not an offensive attack, like Edward's mind-reading, or Jasper's emotional control, she does not block it. Maybe she is protecting herself."

We all sat silently, pondering our father's words. They had merit, however all of us knew that it could be argued that all of our gifts could be seen that way—Alice's could be used as an offensive attach just as easily as Jasper's and my gifts could be seen as defensive.

"I don't think we will know more until _Bella_ does," Eleazar said warmly, refocusing on her. We'd been talking around her, as if she wasn't even there. I felt chagrined at the fact that not a single one of us had spoken to her. But she'd been listening, focused on what was being tossed around.

"Bella," I said softly. She looked at me, and I could easily see all the hesitation and questions circling in her head, even without being able to read her mind. "Do you understand all that's been said?"

Her head lilted to the side as she nodded. "I think so. I'm a shield. I can… _protect_ myself. Right?"

"Yes, exactly. It seems that you have a strong ability to protect yourself from our gifts."

"Perhaps physical one's too," Eleazar said, "though likely not until you understand how to manipulate it."

"_Manipulate_ it?"

I took her hand in mine and her attention turned back toward me.

"We can all manipulate our gifts, at least a little. Jasper can send emotions as well as receive them; Alice can search certain people's futures, mostly at will; I can sometimes block out specific thoughts if I concentrate on the larger din around me. It's possible that you'll be able to do something similar, like block physical attacks."

Jasper's thoughts instantly turned toward the practical testing of that and I growled. His eyes locked on to mine, but he didn't back down.

_Edward, we'll never know what she can do unless we test it. Better us than anyone else._

The white heat flashed behind my eyes and I snarled low and menacingly.

"No," I hissed. "She's not ready for that. You will _not_ touch her. Or you'll have to go through _me_ first."

My family picked up on our near-silent conversation and their thoughts conveyed a wide range of emotions. For the most part, they didn't need to hear Jasper's end to grasp the argument. They were mixed, some of them agreeing that having us test her was the only way to know how far her gift extended, while others saw the potential threat in it. None of their opinions mattered to me at the moment. My only thought was to protect my mate, even if it was from my own family.

Even if it was from _me_.

"There's no need to be hasty," Carlisle interjected. "As Bella grows and learns about her talent, we'll see how things progress. For now, we'll be thankful that she is so gifted. Who knows what she'll be capable of doing as she gets a steady handle on her new life with us. Jasper, Edward's right—now is not the time to test theories."

"Bella," Alice said cheerfully, "you have such an awesome gift! It's going to be incredible. I know you'll be able to control it soon!"

"You might be able to turn it off or on," Esme said proudly, reaching across the table to pat Bella's hand in mine. "Think of that, Carlisle! Our daughter is a _shield_." Bella smiled and leaned into me. Everyone relaxed, though their opinions still circulated. Then, one thought was enough to make the world crash around us like lightning.

"Or _project_," said Kate coyly, raising her eyebrows. The sisters had been quiet until then, allowing our family to speak of their own, but the excitement was still there, simmering quietly. "Think about _that_!"

The room was quiet as all of us considered the great power that sat amongst us. The air was heavy as we were struck with the magnitude of what her gift could potentially be. The air shifted around us, and though I was sure Bella had questions about Kate's speculation, she seemed to know that she potentially held a great weight on her shoulders. She sighed and leaned into my side.

We all remained silent for a while, lost in our own thoughts.

"Well, hell, Carlisle! Your clan sure knows how to pick them," Tanya said, rising. She straightened out and stretched as if her muscles could tire from being unused. She smiled warmly at Bella and me, and winked. "Bella, welcome to the family. I don't know about you guys, but I am thirsty."

"Okay, I'm up for a little hunt," Irena said, bouncing up beside Tanya. "I'll come along."

"I'll go as well," Kate said as she gracefully took her place beside her sisters. When no one else stood to join them, they made their goodbyes and disappeared into the surrounding trees. Rose and Emmett dispersed, their hands grasping at each other and their minds clouded. Carlisle and Eleazar went up to my father's study to pour over some more documents pertaining to gifts like Bella's, always eager to learn more. Carmen joined Esme to look over some plans that she had for one of the homes out east. Alice and Jasper lingered for a moment.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Alice sat down next to us and placed her hand on her back. The gesture was small, but it felt so significant. In such a short span of time, they had accepted her so willingly. Even Rose was less antagonistic than I'd expected at this point. In all of their minds, Bella was a member of this family as surely as any of us. And she _was_. There was no doubt that she belonged with us. But I didn't know in what capacity she belonged with _me_. Her eyes rose from their place in her lap, and she smiled at my sister.

"I _am_," she said unconvincingly. Though she'd plastered a smile on her face for all of us, she still held on to something secret, something that lingered beneath the surface. Her eyes were not shimmering like sparkling wine, and her lips were pinched between her teeth. I watched her as she sighed. "It's been a long day, I suppose. A lot to absorb."

I squeezed her hand and leaned down to catch her eyes so that they were no longer turned away from me. I hate it that she hid from me. Now, knowing that I existed only for her, it hurt me even more.

"That's alright, you know," I told her gently. "You don't have to pretend to be strong for us. It is okay for you to feel like you don't understand, to be angry or upset or sad. To be upset with _me_," I whispered.

"I'm _not_, Edward," she whispered sadly. It felt like it was only for me, as she leaned into me, her face full of worry.

Quietly, Jasper left the room. Alice rose to join him, but paused and turned to catch my eye at the door.

_Tell her, Edward, _she thought. _She needs you now, more than ever._

_

* * *

_

Bella requested some time to think, and while it hurt that moment to agree to leave her side, I granted that reprieve. Frankly, I was surprised she hadn't asked sooner. Even with her gift, I could tell that her head was swimming and that she felt the weight of her new life poignantly.

I locked myself in my room, trying unsuccessfully to drown out everything around me: the sound of Carlisle and Eleazar's hushed and excited murmurings; Esme and Carmen looking over blueprints for our next family home; the sounds of Emmett and Rosalie's passion, and Jasper and Alice's quiet understanding of each other as they found peace from the world in each other. I tried to ignore the smell of her, the way I knew she was In the house, the vibrations that I felt in my ribcage from that knowledge alone. I tried to busy myself with reading or listening to music or strumming my guitar, but all it did was remind me of the way she loved to read, or the bands that she seemed to gravitate towards, or the song that she inspired to drift through my mind.

I could hear everything but her; I couldn't _feel_ anything _but _her.

After about an hour of trying in vain to distract myself, I sought her out.

I found her, finally, sitting alone in the library. Her back was to the door, her knees tucked up into her chest and her arms wrapped around them. The rain, which was still falling, trickled down the windowpane like a root system, finding its path despite the obstacles. I watched her for awhile, entranced by her. She was the most magnificent creature. Being in the same room with her made the ache I'd felt over the last hour dissipate.

She turned after a while, her eyes dancing when she saw me standing there. I suddenly felt so foolish for standing there gaping. But her smile was brilliant, some of the weight and hesitation she'd been carrying lifting from my shoulders.

"Hi," she said softly, biting her lip. I joined her, sitting beside her. Her hand reached out, and I took it in between mine. We both watched the rain trickle down the glass.

"Big day," I whispered, acutely aware of her hand in mine and the soft in and out breaths she made beside me. "Are you feeling better?"

"I am," she sighed. "Though, even though I have answers now, my mind just keeps coming up with more and more questions."

"We'll answer those too. Just give it time," I vowed. I turned in time to see her nod. I could see that she'd accepted her gift, but that her mind was, in fact, reeling with it all. Some of us had their gift thrust upon them immediately upon waking, like Alice or I. Other's had time to acclimate themselves. Either way, it was a difficult adjustment. I hoped she would thrive—I _knew_ she would. She had to. My life depended on it. "It's a pretty important gift."

Our serious discussion was broken up by the presence of our family. Only a split second before they came barreling past, I had an inside eye of the game that was being played throughout the house. Emmett laughed loudly and ran past, holding a football, with Kate and Irena on his heels. Apparently, they'd returned; I hadn't even noticed. It was a blur of colors as their movement rustled some books on the library table. Their footfalls were noisy on the stairs. Esme called out a warning about them messing up the house. I snorted, wondering why it hadn't happened sooner. Whenever the Denali coven joined us, there was always sure to be mischief. Irena and Kate both played into Emmett's juvenile side, giggling at his antics and encouraging his playfulness. Bella laughed happily as we looked into the now-empty hallway.

"And I thought it was chaos _before_," Bella snorted sweetly.

"Having all of us together is a bit much at times," I admitted. She turned to me, eyeing me up. The laughter still sat on her face, lighting her up from within.

"But _good _still. I've never had a big family. It's hectic, sure, but at least you know there will always be someone there for you."

"Bella," I said, tilting her eyes up to mine, "I promise, there will _always_ be someone there for you. _I_ will always be there for you."

Her eyes were instantly sad, so deep and scarlet and almost frightening, reminding me that she was the vampire I had made. She breathed deeply, her lips forming a thin line.

"Don't make promises you might not be able to keep. Someday, you might have better things to do than babysit me."

"_Bella_," I chided gently, "I do _not_ think of it that way. You are not a nuisance to me. _Far_ from it. God, _so _far from it. I've never been happier than the days we've spent together. And I certainly don't think of you as a '_baby_.' I hope you know that."

She softened a bit and her shoulders relaxed. She nodded, but it wasn't convincing. She looked back out the window, sighing regretfully.

"I really enjoy it too. Everyone's been so wonderful over these last few weeks, but I don't know what I'd do without _you_." Her tone was wistful and distant, her mind even further—far too far away for me to ever grasp.

Even though Alice encouraged me to do so, I hadn't known whether or not I would talk to Bella about our afternoon. I played with the idea, back and forth, and thought it best to keep it secret from her for now—until she had accepted her gift. Until _I_ finally could grasp the great mercy that she was my mate. There were things holding me back from opening up to her, things that I knew could break me. She was wholly meant for me, apparently a fact that everyone had known the whole time, but that I had only just seen. If it was so easy for my family to see, could she see it too? Was I the last to understand that I existed only for her?

And then, of course, there was Alice's vision, the vision that hurt so much more than the burning of venom.

What if, after it all, she didn't want me? What would I do, if the only thing I'd ever wanted in my life—the only thing that could hold me to this earth now—wanted nothing to do with me?

I knew it was by some grace of an almighty, benevolent being that I could call her my mate. Perhaps the world would right itself, and she would turn back into something that I could never touch. Perhaps she already had.

Looking at her, though, at that moment—so sure that someday I would tire of her or find something else to occupy my days with than the only thing worth doing so—I knew I had to try and tell her. Living without her knowing would only allow me so much peace. Her never knowing might hurt me as much as her rejection.

I cleared my throat and caught her eyes.

"Bella, there are some things that I'd…" I trailed off, stumbling over my words. "Well, I'd like to discuss it with you. I didn't want to do it with everyone else around."

Her eyes watched me with a mix of curiosity, fear, and sadness. She turned her body towards me, nodded and touched my arm. The gesture was innocent, but it sent bolts of electricity through me at the site. It solidified my desire, encouraged my tongue to keep speaking the only truth that could destroy me.

"It's about our return from the meadow." I said quietly, meeting her gaze.

Her eyes widened at the memories and then she averted her eyes.

"Oh," she whispered, her lips pulling into a tiny circle. I watched her, entranced by her. She gasped softly and took in a few raged breaths. Her chest filled with bouts of unneeded air, and she bit her lip and looked away. I followed her and watched as she closed her eyes tightly, wincing just a little. Her body turned away from me, and like I was stepping out into the cold, I felt as if I was losing a layer of protection, my heat and joy and sun falling away from me. I was about to speak—continue on and tell her that I needed her that excruciating way—but she held up her little hand.

"Edward, stop. You don't _have_ to explain. I completely understand. I get it, I do. Heat of the moment, and the exhilaration of running. I _understand_." Her words tumbled out of her lips as if she, too, were stumbling, racing for the sake of racing, unable to stop herself. Her hands quivered in her lap.

I wanted to speak, tell her that she had it all wrong, but she turned to me abruptly, her eyes blazing in their intensity, and stilled my lips with her fingertips.

"_Please_," she begged desperately, closing her eyes and sighing. "_Please_, I don't need any explanations. I just don't want this to change _anything_. You are my _friend_—my _best_ friend—and I _can't_ lose you. I _can't_. So, let's just… _not_. Okay? Can we just forget that moment?"

I was silent, stunned by the beseeching tone of her voice, the way the words seemed to fall so effortlessly off her trembling lips, asking me to ignore the pulling of my belly and the breaking of my dead heart. She tightened her eyes and bit her lip one more time before they popped open and met mine, shining with intensity.

"_Please_, Edward," she begged one more time, soft and breathy and altogether painful. "Please, let's never speak of it again."

I didn't trust myself. I nodded, giving her a regretful "okay" to appease her. Outwardly, I tried to calm the tempest within me, the churning that I'd never felt before, the perfect storm of remorse and grief and shame. And the terrifying feeling that I was dying all over again. Her lips fell open, and she sighed sadly.

I'd been so foolish to hope; to think that there was ever a chance for my love to be reciprocated; to believe that something like me might appeal to someone like her. It had always been a last-ditch effort, before it had ever begun. I'd leapt like a man of faith, deceiving myself into thinking that the angels would be sent to guard my heels, but had found while I was falling that there was no way that they could save me. And the sad part was that I'd known it all along.

Though my mind was all encompassing and vast, I didn't fully grasp what the rest of our few moments together were like. We exchanged some more distracted pleasantries, both of us lost in our own thoughts. At some point, she excused herself and disappeared to another part of the house, hiding from me, I guessed. And the ache that developed in my chest when she was away from me was as huge and gaping as it always was—even if she was not meant to love me as I was meant to love her.

I sat still and silent in the library, cloaked in darkness in a way that I had not been in weeks. I felt myself slipping back into the black hole that I'd been in for so many months, so many miles away for the gravity that kept me to the earth. It would have been so easy to drown in it, let go and fall into the depths.

But even in my despair, I knew I could not.

Throughout the house, my family went about their business. They laughed, and theorized, and became one with their mates. They were wholly unaware of what had transpired, and what I had lost. But still, I knew that though I was still the odd one out, I couldn't give up on her. All of them would do the same: as long as their mate existed, they would live for them, even if their love was not enough to hold them.

When I was with her, everything was light. There was a need, a want, a sense of utter wholeness. When she'd come into my life, it had destroyed everything I'd known like a planet colliding—heavy, massive, unrelenting. And truly, it had been there all along, from the desperate look in her eyes and the dying breath on her lips. From the moment her silent mind blocked mine across the school cafeteria.

And despite what I wanted and couldn't have, I'd made a promise to her—it was one I'd never break.

I would never leave her, not ever. Even if I wasn't what she wanted. In that way.

Now, all I had to do was figure out how to survive each day with the knowledge that I'd never be truly whole.

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**End Notes:** Two biggest comments on last chapters reviews: "Tanya is a bitch, and I hope she isn't a bitch in this one"… and speculations about Bella's gift. I hope I didn't disappoint on either count.

Hang is with our Edward. He'll learn, in time, that things are so much easier when you open up.

Thanks so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it after the long wait. I am really sorry about that, again. If you are still with me, leave me a review…

And that includes all of you lurkers. ;) I did the math. I should have WAY more reviews for all of you that Story-alerted or Favorited this story… I'm just saying… ;) Just kidding, of course. I appreciate each and every one of you that is taking the time out of YOUR real lives to read. If you are so inclined to let me know how you are feeling, let me know.

Anyway, thanks for sticking with me. Look for a new update MUCH sooner than I had this one out to all of you! Love you guys!


	12. Chapter 12: As Always, Unexpected

**Author's Note:** Nope, you are not having a hallucination. I am in fact _updating_! YAY! Thank you to everyone for your understanding in my long delay from the previous chapter. And this one too. It means a lot that you are still willing to read after such a long hiatus. I'm finding my time exceedingly limited as we move into the Fall, but I DO promise I will keep going until the end. =) Thank you to each and every one of you that left me a review for the last few chapters. Please know that I read each and every one, and I do apologize if I didn't get back to you. I'm not trying to pull a diva card by not replying, because each one of you really means a lot, but I'm finding myself shorter and shorter on time as we go here. If you have specific questions, I'll try as hard as I can to get back to you from now on. Thanks to everyone, though. I really appreciate it!

**RECAP of CHAPTER 11:** Bella found out what her gift is (YAY!). Tanya and the gang are hanging out, and Alice's vision is unveiled. BUT she and Edward try to attack that giant, pink almost-kiss-elephant in the room and they have serious miscommunication about the other's intentions. Edward is self-deprecating and Bella doesn't feel worthy—same-ol', same-ol'.

The overwhelming consensus is that you guys were relieved about Tanya. I'm glad. I never wanted her to be the villain. The Twilight universe has plenty of them, as will this story. ;) I hope this chapter helps add to that.

A few people were concerned that Alice's vision from the previous chapters may have been out of character for this Bella. This is true…from what _Edward_ sees. But Bella has many secrets at this point, one's which Edward and Alice and the rest of the Cullens don't really understand. They're all a little unprepared for her and her very special gifts. Stick with me… you'll find out why she "ran" in the vision. Eventually.

Anyway, on to the chapter. Love to you for your patience with the epic notes! ;)

**Chapter 12: Playlist Song: **_**Do What You Have To Do**_**, by Sarah McLachlan**

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 12: As Always, Unexpected**

In a century, I'd had plenty of moments that I regretted, ones that I've replayed in my head and wished I could take back, do over again. I'm sure that everyone has them, these things that you obsess over and scrutinize, all the while feeling like you'd let the world crumble out from underneath you. Every day, someone, somewhere has a moment like this, these moments of regret. Little things mostly—an angry, biting remark that you wish hadn't fallen from your lips or a lie that you'd told—though the big ones, while fewer in number, are the ones you hold on to, that eat away at you until you feel like you might fall in on yourself.

I regret letting Bella leave the library that day. I wonder how things would have been different if I'd only had the courage to let her know how I really felt.

Time seemed to stand still all around me. In the week that followed our almost-kiss and the revelation of her gift, everything I'd hoped for seemed to be falling away from me. I tried my best to not let her confession change me. She'd begged for that, and I wanted to give it to her, but piece by piece, my cold and dead heart was crumbling away. No one had the power to hurt me the way she had.

The Denali coven was more than willing to stay and get more acquainted with Bella. I think before they'd even arrived, they hadn't planned on leaving. Though I'd spent a great deal of time with them due to my absence, it had been so long since we'd all been together. Having them there with us was like one large family reunion.

The constant din in my head was almost welcome. It gave me some distraction from my thoughts of Bella.

For the most part, Bella avoided me—at least as much as one could with the nature of our family. It was both agonizing and a relief, all at the same time. On one hand, it was easier that way, not having to see her or hear her voice and know that she didn't want me in the way that I wanted her; on the other hand, separation from Bella was a painful reminder of the fact that she wasn't mine. If she was in the same room, at least I could be around her. The physical separation was almost unbearable.

Despite all the distractions around me, I could barely concentrate on anything that didn't involve Bella. I knew where she was at all times, who she was with, the sounds that she was making. Still, I couldn't hear her mind though. I couldn't know what it was that she most desired. Perhaps that was best.

In that week of separation from me, she further cemented her place in our family. Alice found a deep friendship in her, a bond that even surprised me. Though they were polar opposites, they were as close as any human friends I'd ever known. Alice spent the days dressing her in high fashion and sharing secrets like giggling pre-teens, and while Bella was nothing like her, she seemed to delight in Alice's light spirit and radiating joy. I watched in fascination as she became her sister in every respect of the word. Together, they balanced each other out.

In Emmett, she found a big brother. Already, he was fiercely protective, and more than once he warned me to keep my distance. Though he didn't fully understand the nature of the distance between her and me, he noticed a change in her since that night and immediately sought to protect her with careful thoughts and apologetic glances. He battled with himself silently, wondering how right it was to keep her from me when he knew she was my mate, but often his instincts to defend her won out over his understanding of my love for her. But, still, it was not without sympathy on my behalf.

With my father and my mother, her bond deepened as well. Her impressive mind held my father captive almost as strongly as it did mine. Without me to answer her every question, as the patriarch, she looked to him for guidance in her new life. She busied herself with understanding our ways and learning about his past. When she assaulted him with questions about his work at the hospital, he was lost to her. I shouldn't have snooped, but I knew immediately, she had wrapped him around her finger as truly as any darling daughter.

This alone could have endeared her to Esme, but Bella also regaled her with the same sort of intrigue that she did Carlisle. She spent hours with her, looking over photos and understanding her family. She asked her about all our decades together, the way our family had changed as the world changed around us. Esme was all too happy to indulge her. Though she worried for the state of my heart, my mother grew to know just how big Bella's was.

Even Jasper grew closer to her. Though he was still innately wary of her, his new understanding of her and her gift allowed him to embrace her more comfortably and overlook the unsettling nature of it. In doing so, he found her just as endearing as we all did. It seemed that Bella's mind was like a sponge, ready to absorb all kinds of information. She was fascinated by how we have endured through the ages, and Jasper was able to give her insight into things she thought she knew all about. His experience in the war was unlike anything her history books could teach her, and with her newfound vampire mind, she drank up his knowledge—question after question.

The girls bonded as they sat together. They opened their group to her, and she easily fit in—not the same as them, but complimentary to their group. Our northern family grew closer to her, easily accepting her as another member of the family. It was almost effortless for her.

Again, I almost felt like an outsider.

But still, I loved her, and would not leave her.

As disconnected as I was, it did not escape my notice that she was watching me. Every now and then, I'd feel her eyes on me. Though I could not hear her mind, there were moments where I could sense her. I reveled in the feeling of her gaze, the electricity that stiffened and stilled me, her body angled toward me as if I didn't know it. Even after I knew she was watching me, I didn't turn. I fought against my unbearable urge to _see_ it, to see the evidence of her gaze on me, because I knew the second I did, I would lose it. When I caught her, she'd look away, and the rush that swam in my belly instantly fell away. It was replaced with doubt and anguish and regret. Every time.

* * *

Each of the Denali vampires settled back into our lives with ease. Throughout the decades, we'd lived with them on and off, and it always felt right. We all got along with one another, and having them all around was comforting. They each brought something to their little family.

Eleazar was eager to delve into Bella's unusual talent, and he desperately wanted to see how it developed in her. He wanted nothing more than to _be _there when it did.

Carmen was content to reconnect with Carlisle and Esme, and she easily fell into the role of our surrogate mother. It pleased all of us to see the way she and Esme interacted, a close companion for Esme that she was lacking due to their nature.

Tanya, Kate, and Irina were happy to have some more female companionship than their life in Alaska normally allowed. Rosalie and Alice enjoyed their company, and found sisters in them as well. Though Bella seemed to hang on the outside of their conversations, the newcomer in the group, they eagerly invited her in over and over again, pulling her back into their close-knit circle. I watched from a distance as she blossomed from afraid newborn to confident young woman, surrounded by friends and family. I watched as she stood taller and smiled more often. It warmed my heart to see it, this welcome acceptance that they gave her—this growth that she gained.

Her smiles both comforted me and broke my heart, all in one breath.

But every so often, I thought I saw a shadow of pain flash over her features, one so poignant and raw that I felt it in my own flesh.

And then our eyes would connect, and she'd look away.

* * *

It was raining again. For nearly a week, the rain had been coming down, sheets of it falling like music against the roof and glass and earth. Though it did nothing to hinder us in the way it did humans, we still craved the sunlight like any creature. Though we could never be seen in it, we all preferred it to damp and darkness. The world seemed more alive when it was bright out. And also more out of our grasp.

We'd all been clustered inside for much of the week. Certainly we didn't _need_ to stay out of the rain—it was safer if we went out now as opposed to when it was mild out—but the storms had been intense for this time of year, and none of us liked the feeling of being constantly soaked. We'd all hunted, as was needed, but our natural tendency was to cloister ourselves indoors, hunkering down for the weather. That was the result of being around humans all the time.

This dismal Sunday afternoon, I was feeling particularly sullen. The house was eerily still, even for all of us, but each noise grated on my nerves and caused me to grit my teeth. We were all home, each of us in our own activities. Esme was researching the origin of a Vietnamese vase that she'd recently acquired from an auction. Carlisle was looking over patient notes, trying to decipher the best course of action for one of his terminal patients. Jasper was reading through a psychiatric journal, a new interest of his. Emmett was playing video games, getting more and more animated with each level gained. Alice had Irina trapped in her closet, while Rose tinkered in the garage. Eleazar was meditating and Carmen was reading. Kate and Tanya were debating the most recent development in the war overseas. Apparently, they didn't agree with one another. Bella was sitting quietly watching them, a book open in her lap. I was alone on the other side of the room, pouring over a stack of eighteenth-century sheet music that Alice had purchased for me on Ebay.

At least, that's what I was _trying_ to do. Really, all I could was just watch _her_.

I didn't want to be alone, but the one person I wanted beside me didn't want that. I could live in her presence, just taking in every action, ever expression. It felt almost dreamlike, seeing her so absorbed by the conversation going on in front of her. I couldn't concentrate on anything else—I didn't _want_ to—and each noise that brought me into the present was another reminder of my reality—She was across the room, and I could not touch her.

The girls' conversation suddenly became heated. Tanya rose up from her seat, nearly tipping it over.

"Katrina!" she huffed, throwing her arms in the air, spouting off a dying Russian dialect in fast, harsh whispers. Kate watched her patiently, awaiting the end of her tirade with a ghost of a smile on her lips. After a moment, Tanya slowed her verbal assault over their disagreement, and stopped. She sighed and shook her head. I would have chuckled, normally. Tanya was intelligent and confident, and she liked to get her way and have everyone see her side of things. The fact that Kate was arguing with her—and she with Kate—didn't surprise me. But that anger would not last long, and we all knew it. In an instant, she'd let it go. Soon, as predicted, they were giggling together again over Tanya's outburst. If I hadn't been in such a terrible mood, I'd have found amusement in the whole scene. Instead, I scowled.

I tried to focus on the sheets in front of me, as their music played in my head without hesitation. But still, it did nothing to stir me the way the little brunette across the room could.

The girls dispersed, a coy smile playing on Kate's lips as she watched her sister rearrange the furniture that she'd knocked over in the heat of the moment. Bella—who had been trying to sink into the chair ever since Tanya's voice began to rise—rose from her seat, closing her book and making her way toward the staircase. The air stole out of my lungs as I watched her retreat, her head down in what I could only assume was embarrassment at their unusual display. Or perhaps she found it amusing too. Before her foot hit the bottom step, she glanced my way, the most peculiar look on her face. Then she was gone.

Kate rose, too, kissing her sister on the cheek and giggling at the memory of her outburst. She shook her head and wandered away, muttering to Tanya about what a hothead she could be, and followed Bella's path on her way to check on Alice and Irina. And Bella. Tanya's eyes caught mine across the room, and her eyebrows rose in pursuit.

She sauntered over to me, all the tension gone from her. By the time she reached me, a sly smile was creeping up on her face, smooth and playful. I sighed just as she gracefully plopped down next to me, shifting my papers with the fluttering of her movement. I rolled my eyes.

"You know," she said, softly nudging my shoulder with her small one, "some people might think that you do this whole sullen-brooding-guy- thing just to pick up little vampire chicks." I looked over to see her smirking at me knowingly. I snorted.

"Well, it doesn't really seem to work," I told her dryly. She laughed at that, the air sounding with a thousand tiny bells.

"No? Funny."

We sat in easy silence for a while before she sighed loudly.

"Edward, you can be so obtuse sometimes," she snorted. She then laughed loudly, her whole body shaking out of control, and her thoughts eluded me. She continued to giggle until her breathing evened. She sighed, and eyed me up. "So _very_ obtuse. For someone so intelligent and perceptive, you are shockingly dense."

I shot her an annoyed look, not sure where her mind had meandered to, and with no interest to find out. In all my years of knowing her, sometimes I found it so much easier to simply let it be.

For a long time, we just sat there, her mind flashing with images from before my time—landscapes of rolling green hills and meadows, and frosted tundras and ice blue waters—and mine filled with and distracted by her words and their meanings. I continued to peruse my music selections, all the while paying more careful attention to what the little vampire upstairs was doing as I watched her through the eyes of my sister. She sat on the bed, surrounded by clouds of tulle and taffeta, a faraway look on her face. She'd smile and laugh at the appropriate times, but her heart was not in it. Tanya continued to fill the silence with the color of her thoughts—between Tanya's riddles and Bella's countenance, I could barely see the notes on the page. After a while, she sighed and turned to me, her earlier elation gone completely. I hazarded a glance to see sad eyes.

"Did I ever tell you there was a time I thought I was mated?" Her voice was soft and gentle, full of emotion.

I shook my head in shock, unable to form words. Dread filled me at her admission—heavy and guilty and full of regret. _Was she telling me that I was her mate in the same way that Bella was _mine_? Never to be reciprocated?_ I did not want to hurt her.

"Um, Tanya—," I started uneasily, but she rolled her eyes and put up her hand to stop my hesitant babbling.

"Not to _you_, you egotistical, frustrating male," she said. My eyebrows rose, and she gave me a pointed look. I gestured for her to continue, relief washing over me with the movement of my hand.

"It was a long time ago, when we were all fairly young." She paused. "I was so new at everything, it all was so fresh and exciting, and I wasn't jaded. We all embraced this life. I wished I'd known then what I know now."

She paused, and for a moment, I thought she might not tell me any more. But I knew she wanted too, her thoughts full of images I couldn't quite place, and unspoken need resonating.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked as gently as I could. I'd never known Tanya to be this sad, this quiet. I'd never thought of her as _jaded_, but as I watched her mind play, I thought perhaps I'd been wrong for so long.

"I lost him, Edward," she whispered. Her voice did not waver, but there was an emptiness in it. "I lost him because I didn't realize what I had until it was too late for me to save him."

In all the years I'd known Tanya, I hadn't known this. I briefly wondered if Carlisle did, or even her sisters. How long had she kept this to herself? Her thoughts reflected shame and intense grief, as the image of her mate flashed through her mind. Tall, strong and thick, with sandy blond hair and blue eyes—_human_. Even after this long, her memories of him were so clear.

"How?"

"I killed him. He was human," she almost whimpered, "and I was the one that killed him. In the heat of the moment, I took too much from him—I broke him with my loving him."

She was breaking herself, all over again beside me. In her body, she was here with me. But in her mind, she was there with him, watching the life leave the only thing she had ever needed. I had nothing to give her—no peace, no apology, nothing that would ease the ache.

"For the longest time, after I killed him, it hurt so bad that I didn't think I'd make it through each day. Right away, as I was watching him die painfully like it was slow motion, I came to the conclusion that he was my mate, but I couldn't turn him, because it scared me. I thought about him dying, and I didn't think I could live with it, and then I thought about him living like _me_, and I didn't know if I could live with that either. And in a moment of hesitation—just that second that I deliberated too long—he was gone."

She let the breath leave her in a whoosh.

"Tanya, I'm so sorry. I never knew."

She looked up at me and smiled sadly. It was sweet and innocent, and for that brief moment, she let the truth of her age shine through—because Tanya, to some extent, was as much a child as I.

"When you came along, Edward, I saw something of myself in you—alone, the odd man out, desperately searching for what you are sure you're never going to find. I wanted to be with you, because in my own deluded mind, I thought maybe you would be a good match for me. Not perfect, but good enough. I just forgot that you were just starting out."

She sighed and ran a hand through her long blonde hair.

"I'd hoped I'd been wrong, all those years ago—that I'd dreamed up what a mate was supposed to feel like and had only imagined that it was what he was. But seeing you with her, I know I didn't. It might be too late for me, but it's not for you."

She was watching me carefully. I didn't dare look into her eyes and hope. I didn't want to be fooled into thinking she was right.

"I wanted you to know that I think she's pretty amazing. She fits in well. She's smart, and sassy, and lovely. Beautiful." She nudged me again, putting up her carefully-crafted mask, and she smirked. "She's not blonde, of course, but I suppose can look past that."

I sighed, trying to ignore the aching of my heart.

"It doesn't do me much good if she doesn't want me," I told her.

At that, Tanya laughed softly.

"I don't know how she _couldn't_ want you, Edward. Especially knowing how you feel about her—what she _is_ to you."

"I really don't know that we have a choice in that matter," I told her. If Bella was not in love with me, because I was _not_ her mate, there was nothing that anyone could do to make it so. No amount of reason, or attraction, or loneliness could change what fate had destined for us. Tanya hopped up from her place beside me and patted my knee.

"You know what," she said surly, "I'm pretty sure you're _right_ about that. No choice _whatsoever_."

She leaned me and placed her hands on both my knees. Slowly, she brushed her lips across my cheek. She was warm and soft and smelled nice, but it was not the _right_ kind of warmth, or the _right_ sweet smell of flowers and honey.

"Do me a favor?" she whispered. I hesitated, her face so close to mine, but nodded. "Don't make _my_ mistakes. I only want you to be happy."

With that, she sauntered away with a sensual swing of her hips, leaving me confused and broken all over again.

* * *

Perhaps, if the next morning had not turned out so gloriously sunny—if the clouds had not shifted and drenched the Olympic Peninsula in warmth and sparkling clarity—everything would have stayed the same. Perhaps, then I would not have had my own kind of light. One that broke through the darkness.

A sense of peace overcame me, as I sat, letting the warmth flood me from the outside. Prisms reflected off the library walls from my skin, casting my room in sparkling squares of light. Despite the mood that I'd been in over the weeks, I suddenly felt optimistic.

The rest of the family was hunting. When the sunshine had forced my siblings to stay home from school, and Carlisle from the hospital, they opted to hunt instead. There was a sort of freedom that came with the sunlight, where we could disappear into the wilderness and embrace our natural instincts. I decided that I'd rather bask in the solitude.

And bask in Bella.

She was there. The rest of them had gone, but she didn't go with them. I listened to their thoughts—they wanted her to go, to stay, to find some reason to corner me. They all could sense the distance between us, and they all, for their own reasons, wanted us to close the gap.

She hadn't done so yet.

I could not hear her mind, but I could _feel_ her. I knew exactly where she was at every moment, and though I closed my eyes and basked in the sunlight streaming through the window, my body aligned to her movements downstairs. The kitchen, her fingertips running over the cool granite. The library, her arms piling full of forgotten tomes. The sundrenched chair in the parlor, her knees curled over the arm of the chair. I wondered if she had her eyes closed, her face lifted up to the warm sunlight, too.

An hour I sat, contemplating going to her, my body alive with tiny sparks of nervous energy. I made it to the door five times, but each time I neared the doorframe, I hesitated, and returned to my place at the window. I was full of doubt, not knowing how she would see me, now that I had been rejected. We'd avoided each other so much since our day together. I had no idea what any of it meant.

My ears perked up at the sound of soft footfalls on the stairs. They were steady, but stopped just at the landing. One step, then another. Two closer, one back. Then a pause. I heard her sigh as she neared the door. It took all my strength not to run to the door and sweep her up in my arms. My fingers coiled around the arms of the chair, puckering the fabric, until I her softly clear her throat.

I spun around at the delicate sound. She stood meekly in the frame, her hands clasped in front of her. Her eyes were trained at her feet, and though she was angled away from me, I could see her full bottom lip tucked under her perfect white top teeth. She looked… broken.

She peeked up at me through her eyelashes, her chest filling with air and she sighed again.

"Hi," she breathed. For a moment, I forgot how to speak. I forgot how to breathe and move and think. My mouth dropped open with the visual proof that she was here with me. Her face fell when I failed to respond. "I'm bothering you."

"No!" I said, standing abruptly and closing the distance between us, my hand stretched out to her. My shadow danced across the walls on my way to her, mixing with the reflected light, and by the time I was next to her, she was hidden from the sun. When I reached her, her eyes were wide and wondering, and she looked up at me. Suddenly, everything was real again. She was next to me, her body so close to me I could feel the heat from her that seemed to swelter. Both of us panted at the desperation of the moment, uneasy but completely at ease, all at once. "Please, Bella," I begged. "Please don't go."

She nodded, the only indication that she had heard my plea. I tentatively reached out my fingers. Achingly slowly, they searched the air for her. I touched her, over the smooth silk that was her upper arm. When our bodies connected again after so long apart, it was like lightning, like tinder igniting. We both breathed out, expelling held air in a puff. I slid my fingertips down slowly, until her palm was pressed hotly in mine. Her eyes softened and she sighed contently. The noise made me smile.

"Hi," I whispered.

"Hi." Another sigh. Though she was cautious, a smile ghosted over her lips. We were so close that I could feel her breathing against my body, her tiny frame brushing against me with each movement. Our hands curled against each other.

She looked down as if to ground herself and when her eyes met mine again, there was clarity there. Her lips parted. I wanted to lean over and taste her.

"I can't do this," she whispered, closing her eyes tightly. Immediately, my heart sunk and my train of thoughts—her sweet lips that looked like dewy strawberries, the haunting crimson of her eyes, the rhythmic pulsing of her body—halted. I quivered, the brunt of my emotions threatening me. _Such hope to lose, all over again, so suddenly and all at once_.

"Oh," was all I could say. I went to move away from her, respecting her wishes, but she stopped me with a hand to my bicep.

"I can't keep living like were on separate planets," she whispered. "I can't keep pretending that I don't need you. Because I _do_."

Had my heart been beating, it would have stopped. Had I been living, needing breath, I might have been holding onto it so tightly, and passed out. But instead, I stood there, my heart still and my lungs empty, mesmerized by the words coming out of her perfect lips.

Instead of words, I pulled her into me, wrapping my arms around her waist and lifting her up into me. It was effortless, gentle, and entirely earth-shattering. Her arms wrapped around my neck, and all I could do, with her body pressed comfortingly against mine, was breathe her in—this intoxicating scent of flowers and fruit and air.

"I'm so sorry," I murmured into her shoulder. I didn't fully understand what this meant for us. But regardless, I knew that she needed my words, some token of my regret, to make it right between us. I'd failed her, by retreating from her in my fear. Even if what she needed was not my love, I'd taken every other piece of myself away from her too.

"Please don't apologize." Her breath tickled my collarbone and then she pulled back. "I've just… Edward, I've missed you. I love Alice, and Esme, of course, and the rest of the family, but you're the only person who I feel like _me_ with."

I sucked in a breath at her confession.

"I know the feeling."

Her lips turned up sweetly. "I don't want to pressure you, or make you feel uncomfortable, but I've been going _crazy_. I haven't been able to think, worrying so much about the uneasy air that's been hanging between us. I never wanted this. I can't function like this. Of all the things that have hurt me, not being able to talk to you and be by you—that's hurt me the most. I felt so…lost. _Again_. I need you. It's probably the most selfish thing ever, but I do."

She had turned somber, her eyes drifting away from me to some unknown memory. I reached up and ran my finger down her jaw. The touch was too intimate, too sensual, but she didn't shy away. I tilted her chin so that I could see her swirling ruby eyes once more. Fear and doubt and sadness danced in her eyes as I traced soft circles on her cheekbones. The feeling of her face in my hands was so intense, I felt I might come undone right there with her.

Slowly, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to her forehead. She was warm and soft and perfect against my lips. Everything I'd been missing.

"Never again," I vowed against her skin.

When I pulled back, she had her eyes closed. Her breathing was steady and collected; she looked serene. She opened her eyes slowly and mingled our fingers together between us. Her shoulders visibly relaxed, the tension she was holding leaving her. When her eyes met mine, they were at peace, calm and almost happy. She breathed out and leaned into me.

"Can we just… _be_? Even if this is the only thing it is, _this," _she said, lifting our hands slightly, "can't we just…not do it alone? I can't _do_ this without you. I've been trying. And I can't."

"I can't do this without you either," I admitted. It was the only truth I knew anymore. Months ago, I'd thought I was okay, but now I knew that I never could be without her in my life. Whatever she was willing to give me, I knew it was better for me than what we'd been doing. I realized that I might never have her in the way that I truly craved her. There was a large chance that, while she missed my presence in her life, I would never feel the way that her lips felt, moving against mine. I didn't think that I would ever hear "I love yous" falling from her lips. I might never feel her skin, smooth and warm, pressed against mine, or see the way her face contorted in pleasure when I made her come undone, my name falling breathlessly from her.

But I could have _this_. I could have her tiny hand, resting in mine. I could have her joy and her infectious smile. Perhaps I would never felt complete, but I could be less _empty_. I could be with her and know her, even if it wasn't in the most intimate of ways. And in the end, I knew there would be a piece of her that needed me, even if it wasn't a fraction of the way I needed her. I knew now she would never run from me simply for the fact that she was terrified of my feelings for her.

She lifted up again, and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Oh, thank God!" she sighed.

I held her in my arms, my chin rested on her little shoulder, savoring the feeling of her near me again. It had been the worst kind of hell, not knowing.

I heard the sound of their thoughts as they neared the house, eleven voices wondering.

I sighed, and she pulled away. It was like severing a limb. I reached out and took her hand in mine.

"Come on," I told her. "Let's see how the hunting was."

* * *

Her hand in mine as we walked down the stairs was like Christmas morning. To see my family's faces and hear their thoughts, all centered around the vision of us together, I felt like I was walking in the clouds. Their eyes were on us, some discreetly, some blatantly. My mother beamed and murmured words of joy and relief. I shot her a look of indignation.

Secretly, I was quite pleased.

I was too absorbed, too gleeful, to notice the riling that simmered in the middle of the circle. I was too delayed to stop it.

"Well, well, well," Rose snapped. "Looks like all is right with the world again!"

Sarcasm dripped from her lips, the venom that she hated seething out of her. It startled everyone out of their happy bubble for me, and left them gaping.

"Rose!" Esme scolded, her mind worried, ashamed, and saddened by the disjoint in her children. She knew what this course might do to me. And to Bella. I only wished I had foreseen it before it was too late. I heard the tenor of her thoughts only a second too late.

Bella's brow furrowed and her hand tightened in mine. I didn't need to read her mind to know she didn't really understand. She could have never foreseen this type of reaction, this outburst that seemed to attack her.

Though she'd bonded with all the others in our separation, Rosalie had still remained aloof. She remained cool to her, upset with the fact that Bella's introduction into our coven had caused so much disruption and unease. But there was no outward hostility that Bella had seen. While Rose kept her distance, it seemed only that—she'd never attacked her outright. This was how Rosalie was. But there was more to it than that—something that Bella couldn't see.

"Rose, please," I begged, knowing that it was falling on deaf ears.

"What? It's true, isn't it?" She threw her hands up in the air and huffed. Emmett was immediately at her side, trying to both hold her still and comfort her.

"Babe," he whispered, trying to still the tremors in her body—she was already quaking—but she shrugged him off and stepped away from him, placing a hand firmly against his chest to keep him away. His face fell.

"Emmett, don't '_babe'_ me! Little Miss _Amazing_ makes googly eyes at Edward again—the _Good_ Son—and the family is right again. Everyone acts like we're the perfect family, and that bringing her in with us was the fucking _Second Coming_! Well, guess what! It was a _mistake_!" She turned to me, her eyes filled with pain and sadness and guilt. On the outside, she was vile and angry, but on the inside, she was broken and full of regret. For almost everything that her life was.

"Don't," I begged her again, this time not for the rest of us—the damage was already done there, Bella already trembling—but for her.

"Edward made a mistake," she said slowly, almost serenely. "I just wish you all wouldn't act like this was the perfect solution for what was already broken. Because it's _not_."

She hurt herself in her own rant. Her body shook with silent sobs, her cheeks dry from the tears that would never come. She turned on her heels and walked away. Emmett shot me an apologetic look and followed her. She'd need him.

The room was still, the air swirling with uncertainly. No one moved. No one knew what to say. Their minds were running franticly, questions and sadness and pity dancing through their heads at an alarming rate. My heart was heavy, the hurtful things Rose had said weighing painfully in my chest. It stilled me. She was right. Bringing Bella into our coven was dangerous, selfish, and not the way to fix my life. I'd damned her to this fate and taken her choice away all in one instant. And the façade of our happy existence didn't change it.

It wasn't until I heard tiny hiccups beside me that I reacted. Instinctively, I pulled her into my arms and held her close, her body shaking softly against me. In that instant, nothing else mattered.

Not Rose, not our nature, not the mistakes I made.

Only Bella.

"I'm sorry," she whispered against my collarbone, the sound of her voice gripping in my chest.

"Shhh, love," I murmured in her hair. "This is not about you. It's not you."

I pulled her with me toward the door, knowing that I needed to get her out of there. As fast as I could, I lifted her with me, rushing away from the moment. I left my family, their worries echoing in my head, all of them fearful of what this might do to her. To us.

I pulled her away, bringing her home to the only place I could think of. She clung to me with desperation.

* * *

The meadow was peaceful, serene.

Sunlight danced off her skin, flickering off the lingering fall grasses. She was lying on her back, our bodies facing opposite directions, her legs tucked against my left hip. Her eyes were closed, and for a moment I was happy. This felt right. This felt familiar. Like all our scenes led here, to this place—like I'd been there before. A happy dream that I always returned to.

But she was still hurting. And my happy dream dissipated.

She sighed, the movement drawing my attention back to her lips. I watched them form the questions that wouldn't come. Instead, she asked a simpler question.

"Why does she hate me so much?" Her voice was calm. She'd recovered, at least on the outside.

"She doesn't hate you."

She sat up and stared at me incredulously. Our bodies were so close this way.

"Of course she does! Edward, god, I feel like I've ruined everything, and I don't even know what I've done." Her voice wavered again and she bit her lip. Her body slumped and she stared at her knees. I sat up and inched towards her, brushing her hair off her cheek.

"You've done nothing," I told her gently, tilting her head up so that her sorrowful eyes were aligned with mine. "She's angry, and bitter, but not with _you_. I'm sorry that you heard her say all those things, but it's me that they were directed at."

"I don't understand," she said. "All those things—"

"Were for my benefit—for my ears. All those things she said were meant to be for me to hear, a reflection of her disappointment in me."

She faltered. "I don't understand."

"You think Rose doesn't like you? Quite the opposite, actually." I said, offering her a small smile and leaning in. "You're pretty irresistible," I whispered.

"Apparently not entirely," she sighed sadly. I only recognized the longing—for more than just Rose's approval— in her voice later, in my memories.

"Rose is pretty fond of you, Bella, even if she has a terrible way of showing it." She laughed with no humor, but I continued anyway, needing her to know the truth. "She likes that you give Emmett a hard time, and that you've made such an impact on the family—on Esme, and Alice. On me. She can see how strong you are, but she hate's that you became like us. She hates _me_ for it."

"Why?"

"Because I changed you. Because I took away your choice. Because she had _her_ choice taken away."

She snorted and rolled her eyes. "I don't really see the '_choice_.' It was either death or this. That's no choice to me."

"She would have preferred death," I told her sadly. "She _does_ prefer death. Every day."

"That's pretty macabre." She watched me carefully, gauging me with her perceptive eyes. I had to look away.

"I agree with her more often than not," I whispered. She didn't respond, so I looked away from the distant mountains, the trees, speckling the landscape, the sunlight dancing through the boughs. I was met with eyes as deep as a black hole, and soft pink lips crumpled between her teeth.

"Edward," she breathed, her face falling even further. The sight broke my cold heart. "_Why_? I mean, sure, there's things about our lives that are less than pleasant, but human life is that way too. And _death_? I'd rather have this. These moments with you, than anything else."

"Our _lives_? When we live the way we do, it's too easy to forget that we are what we truly are. It's easy to lose ourselves in this lifestyle, pretending that we are something entirely different. But when it comes right down to it, we _aren't_ human. We're _monsters_."

She studied me for a moment so intensely that I thought I might ignite. It was hard, and pained, and worried. And then she smiled, averting her eyes playfully before peeking back up at me through her lashes.

"Are you calling me a monster, Edward Cullen?" She nudged my shoulder with her own.

I wished I could match her attempts at moving forward—putting Rose's raging behind us, pretending we were something different—but the fact that she'd been to right was daunting. And I could not forget that while I could never see Bella as the monster I was, she was always at the precipice of falling into the abyss just like the rest of us. And I'd been the one to push her, teetering towards the edge.

"No, Bella, you're not a monster. But I _am_. And Rosalie is. And Emmet and Jasper. Even Esme. What we've done? Sometimes death is preferable to living with this kind of regret. There is no other name for someone like me. I just hope I can protect you from becoming one too.

She snorted lightly, averting her eyes. For a while, we sat silently, living at humans-pace, lost in our own thoughts.

"I'm sorry," she whispered finally.

Her words startled me, and I looked up to find her watching me carefully.

"What could you have to be sorry for?"

"This last week. I've been trying my hardest to avoid you. I'm sorry for it." I nodded, knowing that. She leaned forward, touching my cheek with tiny meandering fingers. Her hand glided down until it rested on my arm. She pulled her fingers down with the lightest of touches until they were threaded in mine.

"But what I'm even more sorry for," she whispered, "is that we'll always disagree."

I looked at her, my mouth open, my mind quiet in awe of her.

"Edward, you can tell me every evil thing you think you've ever done—that you've killed, and hurt, and tortured—but it will never make me think that you are a monster. I've seen a lot of terrible things in this world, and no one who believes himself to be so terrible can truly be. Edward, I've _seen_ your soul—in the way that you love and protect and _live_—and you are _no_ monster."

Her voice was strong and sure and determined. She rose abruptly and dusted off her jeans. She watched me with anticipation, her eyebrows high on her forehead with a look that warned me about crossing her. I couldn't help but smile. Though she was right: apparently we'd have to disagree.

She offered her hand, though I didn't need it, and I took it as I rose to stand beside her. Even though I could never truly stand beside her. For a while, we walked hand in hand, languidly. It was good.

As we were about to run, ready to face whatever was left going on at home, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out to see that I ha an incoming text message.

From Esme.

In an instant, the screen was open and was overcome with a sense of dread.

**DON'T COME HOME. **

**UNINVITED GUESTS.**

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**End Notes:**

Uh, oh! Now what? ;)

Can't wait to see what you all think of THAT!

Just a few things about the pacing. I KNOW it's been slow, and you REALLY want to smack both E & B upside of the heads to get them to figure it out, but Edward has lived his whole life seeing mated/romantic love but never feeling it—only looking at it from a clinical aspect. It's exceedingly important to this story that you understand his hesitance and self-doubt, that all the things we felt as teenagers (insecurity and fear) are just as prevalent in these two as any regular teenager… Hopefully that helps those who just want them to KISS already! They will. Give them time to come into their own. Their growing together as friends is what I feel the saga was missing in books 2 through 4. This is me, getting my say in as far as that goes. ;)

**OPEN POSITION ANNOUNCEMENT!** I am going to be in need of a pre-reader pretty soon. The job currently belongs to my marvelous and amazing hubby, but he will not be able to do it anymore starting in November, since the Army's taking him away from me for a while. =( I hope to have one more chapter out by then, just for the fact that I want him to do it as long as possible, but I wanted to put it out there to see if anyone would be interested starting with chapter 14. I pretty much "beta" everything myself, but I need a careful reader to look over my chapter and tell me if something is dumb, or you don't get it, or if it just plain sucks… If this is something you might be interested in, **PM me through my profile page**!

Anyway, thanks for reading my chapter-long ANs, and for tuning into this chapter too! See you next time!


	13. Chapter 13: The Wind Carries Our Ashes

**Author's Note:** WooHoo! Finally, right? I am so thankful to all of you who have stuck by me through my super (duper!) long hiatus. Thanks to all the well-wishers about my husband's military service and the words of encouragement. I appreciate each and every one of you who still open up the alert to see this update. Your support has meant the world to me, even though RL has pulled me away and made me silent for so long. Please enjoy.

**RECAP of Entwined:** Edward leaves after getting a whiff of tasty-smelling Bella, only to return 6-months later to find her in a life threatening car wreck. Knowing he'd rather burn at the stake than let her die, he changes her. Guilt ensues. Now Bella is a vampire that is making his head turn in surprising ways. He's realized he's her mate, but his hard, sparkly granite-head is too hard for him to realize that she might be feeling the same way about him. Big mess of miscommunication. The Denali's have come for a visit, we figure out how Bella's gift works (maybe?) and hear the story of Tanya's past. Last chapter, Bella and Edward came to some sort of understanding, that they truly needed one another. Rose let loose on Bella—again—and they went off on their own to discuss the great truths of vampirism. On their way back they got a cryptic message not to return home…

**Chapter 13: Playlist Song: **_**Falls On Me**_**, by Fuel**

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 13: How Easily The Wind Carries Our Ashes Away**

The smell that surrounded the house was horrendous. It was acidic and rank of earth and wet and sweat. Like a visible cloud it covered the area, and for a moment I was thankful that we didn't need to breathe. It burned in my nostrils and bludgeoned my senses. I shook off the odor and refocused on the soft little hand clenched tightly in mine.

Since we'd received the second text from Esme, telling us it was safe to return home, we'd both been eager to do so. Still, there was something to be said for caution. Her message had been beyond vague, simply telling us to return, but to watch our path on the way. No hint as to whom we were watching out _for_. My biggest concern was for Bella, so we laid low in the shadows and basically snuck home. Her body was tight against me for most of the way, and while I was using most of my senses to stay on the lookout for anything unusual, I couldn't help the distraction that having Bella's hand clasped in mine and her body against my side provided.

We were close enough now that I could hear our families' thoughts, and it eased my mind. From everything that I could hear, we were certainly not in any immediate danger. I relaxed, and Bella's body did the same beside me. She looked up at me with questioning eyes.

"Come," I told her gently, offering a gentle smile of reassurance. "Let's see what all the fuss is about."

We walked into the living room, our hands still joined tightly. All eyes turned towards us.

For just a moment, there was silence, both inside and out. Then, all at once, I was bombarded by white noise, flashes of russet skin and worry, of blank and blurry visions, and deception and untruths. Esme rushed Bella, wrapping her in her arms and saying quiet prayers.

"Oh, thank God you're home safe," Esme murmured, pulling us both close. Had it not been for the fact that I knew there was no real danger any longer, I would have taken her actions as warning. Rather, she was simply a concerned mother, worried about the welfare of her family. "We were so worried that you might cross paths."

I sighed. "Will someone please let us know what is going on?" The flashes from their memories were not enough for me. I needed someone to focus and explain what had them so worried about our return.

"We had some visitors today," Carlisle said, stepping forward. His memory played out perfectly. The sound of leaves crunching beneath careful steps, the quiet breathing, the smell of encroaching stench. Finally, the steady knock at the front door that brought all of them to attention. And Alice to her knees.

"I smell that," I told him dryly. One by one, I watched their memories.

**000000000000000**

_Two young boys, no older than nineteen, stood behind the door that Carlisle himself opened. Their bodies were calm and showed no sign of fear, but their eyes darted around, searching out the area, taking in their surroundings. Taking in my family. Their hair was cut short, in a way that I had never seen from their kind before, and their bodies were stronger than I might have ever imagined possible. In the minds of my family, there was something off, something about the way their hearts beat and their bodies aligned. As if they were waiting for something. As if they expected something. As if they were not what they seemed._

_Alice murmured, shaking her head and quivering, her normally-confident self desperate. There was no vision to accompany the feelings of hopelessness that Jasper read from her, no clear picture of intent. They watched her, all of them together in their concern over her actions, but none of them understanding the true nature of her paralysis. Jasper held her, whispering quick and quiet words of calm in her ear as she backed herself into the farthest corner from the door, her eyes wide and fearful._

"_Stay with me, darling," he repeated, over and over into her hair, too quiet for the visitors. "Stay with me."_

_Only a moment had gone by, and their movements were so subtle that it could not be seen by the humans' eyes. Though, one of them cocked their head to the side slightly._

"_Hello," my father said politely almost cheerfully, pausing and waiting for their introductions. "What can I help you with?"_

_The boys watched him for a moment their eyes quick and vigilant, hunched and waiting. Alice still hovered in the corner, away from them, her body curling in on itself, while the rest of my family looked on. Then, the older of the two stood tall, raised his chin and puffed his chest, and spoke with a calm but menacing tone._

"_We're looking for information on the disappearance—and murder— of Isabella Swan."_

_**000000000000000**_

"Quiluetes," I said, breaking the outer silence in the room. Carlisle nodded, his jaw set. I heard Bella gasp behind me.

"Quiluetes?" she repeated, her brow furrowing with shock and confusion. "They were here? Now? What did they want?"

"You," I told her gently. "They were looking for you, of course. Canvassing the area for more information on your disappearance." It was an easy lie. I didn't need to read their minds to know that is the excuse that the boys would give for coming to our home. I wanted to protect her from the accusations on their lips, from the suspicions that they barely tried to hide from my family. Form their very demeanor, one could see that they suspected more, that perhaps they were more intuitive than I would have expected. I wanted to hide the word from her—_murder—_both to protect her from the dirtiness of it, and me from her hate.

But I should have known that my Bella was too intelligent, too understanding than I could ever expect.

"'_Canvassing the area?_' Out _here_? If you mean canvassing this _house_, I believe it, but ours is the only house for miles. What did they _really_ want?" she demanded, her hands resting in the curve of her hip.

I sighed, letting go of all pretenses, and directed my attention back to my father. "_Murder_, huh?"

"That is what they said, yes." Carlisle stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Bella—a gesture so fatherly, it nearly took me off guard—and lead her into the living room to sit.

"You let them in," I said, not really a question. I already knew from all of their memories that he did, but the action was dangerous, considering their near accusations and obvious lack of Alice's ability.

"I thought it was prudent to maintain the guise of helpfulness and hospitality. With all the effort we've been putting in with Chief Swan, I didn't think it was wise for us to simply throw them out and implicate ourselves," he said. "Though, I didn't understand the full extent of what Alice was experiencing at the time. Perhaps it was not so wise, not having the foresight."

I turned my attention to my tiniest sister, who had been strangely quiet this whole time. Her thoughts were full of shame and confusion.

"Alice," said gently, getting her attention. She looked up, and I didn't need Jasper's gift to feel the despair flowing through her. I wanted to be angry, to be upset that she'd not been able to foresee the outcome, that we all could have been exposed at any given moment, but I couldn't. It was not her fault—not a lack of focus or effort—and she was so upset, Jasper was having almost as hard a time with her now as he always did with Bella. I made her look me in the eyes. "Tell me."

"There's nothing, Edward. _Nothing_," she sighed. "I didn't see them coming. I didn't see them at all. It was blurry and black and…_nothing_. And there's nothing I can do about it. It was just static, like our whole futures just _disappeared_."

"_What_?" Bella said softly beside me. "Alice couldn't see?"

I shook my head at her.

"No. And _now_, Alice?"

"Back again. I can see all of us clearly. But I can't see them."

Bella looked around at all of us, her face nearly frantic. "What does this mean?"

"I don't know," I said, and I truly didn't. I didn't know what this meant, what the strange visit would bring us. But I wrapped my arms around her shoulder, rubbing gentle circles into the skin there to try to ease her obvious worry. "But we'll be on the lookout. Don't worry, love. We're together."

This seemed to ease her like a salve, and her shoulders relaxed just slightly.

"Edward," Carlisle said grabbing my attention again. "There's more to this, I think. There was something about them. Something familiar. Considering, I'm very thankful Tanya and her family were away as well."

I noticed only then that we were all alone, just my brothers and sisters and parents and Bella and I—no Denali clan. They'd been warned as well. I nodded my assent at his deductions, already knowing what he was referring to. I felt it too, even through their memories.

"Something we've seen before," I whispered. "Something to watch. Something that may know more than we hoped."

**000000000000000**

"Murder_?" my father said, his voice showing the proper amount of fear and regret. For as good as Carlisle was, he was able to lie as easily as any of us—convincingly. The boys watched him, their expressions unreadable. "Such a terrible thing to hear. My heart goes out to Chief Swan. What can we do to help?"_

_He stepped aside, motioning for them to come in. For a moment they looked startled. They exchanged looks, as if they were communicating. The older gave a slight nod, and walked through the doorframe. When the door closed behind them, however, they flinched. Before them stood the Cullens._

"_Please, come have a seat, let us know what we can do to help you." Carlisle motioned for them to sit, but they stood still, their stances wide and unrelenting._

"_No, we're just looking for…_information_," the older one said._

"_Of course."_

_Esme breezed up to them, for a moment taking them by surprise again. _

"_What can we do? That poor man must be such a state. She was such a sweet girl."_

"_You _knew_ her?" The younger asked, not even attempting to conceal the bile in his tone._

"_She and my daughter Alice are—_were_—in the same class," Esme said, sadly. Her shoulders slumped, and she shot Alice a mournful look. _

_Their eyes searched out each of my siblings, scrutinizing them. Alice, first, then Jasper and Rose, and finally Emmett. They exchanged a look between them._

"_Don't you have another…son?" The older's voice seemed to darken for just a moment, and I didn't miss the hesitance to use this particular word for me._

"_Yes. Our son Edward, however, is away at boarding school right now. He hasn't been home in over six months."_

_**000000000000000**_

Jasper's memories overwhelmed me, their suspicions, their doubt, their pain. And then, the intense bite of fury and vengeance. I shook my head to try and relieve the pressure that I felt from Jasper's mind.

"They didn't believe you," I said, without question. Jasper leaned forward.

"No, they didn't. Not one little tiny bit." His eyes glanced towards Alice. "What the hell _are_ they? I feel that we need to be very careful. It was ominous."

"Great! Just great!" Rose burst out suddenly. "I _knew_ we should have left when we had the chance. Jesus, Edward! This is all your fault."

"Rose," my father warned, exasperated at her outburst. "This will not help now. What's done is done. Let's focus on the task at hand."

Bella shifted beside me, leaning into my side. I looked down to find her watching me, her eyes wide and questioning.

"I feel like I'm missing some very important piece of the puzzle," she whispered, begging me to answer all her questions.

"Bella," Carlisle said, "your father is friends with Billy Black, from the Quileutes, correct?" Her brow furrowed and she nodded, trying to see where he was going with his questioning.

"Yes," she began slowly. "They've been friends since before I was born. We used to hang out there all the time. They are like…family." Her voice broke at the end, and my heart broke right in turn with it. She was only just realizing she'd lost their friendship too. Though, in this case, I counted that as a blessing that she didn't quite understand.

"Have you ever noticed anything… odd about any of them?" I asked. She shook her head, her nose crinkling up adorably in her confusion.

"_Odd_? What do you mean?"

"As in, that they turn into giant drooling slobbering wolves," Emmett said, before either my father or I could answer her question with grace. Bella let out a noise that was half giggle, half shock.

"What? _No_!" She looked around at all of us, gauging our reaction to Emmett. When she'd made the pass three times, and still we were watching her with expectation, waiting for her response, she threw her hands up. "You can't be serious, can you?" her attention turned to me. "I've known Billy my whole life, and Jake is one of my best friends!"

I was thrown, the mention of this boy who I'd heard vaguely of in the muddled thoughts of Charlie Swan. The way her voice laced his name with affection set me off, bristled me like nothing I'd ever known before. A moment of rage set through me at the very sound of his name, and I didn't understand why. Jasper sent me a wave of ease that refocused me.

"Jake?" I asked, unable to hide the distain. She nodded.

"Billy's son."

I didn't like this, this closeness that she seemed to have with him. A familiarity, of family…or more. She'd said herself she'd known them her whole life, that they were family. But she'd called him her friend—her best friend—not her brother, this boy from the reservation. And the way she seemed to want to protect them—protect _him_—had me seething. Her hand on my wrist broke my thoughts.

"Edward," she pleaded, only to me, "they _can't_ be."

My only concern at that moment was ridding her of her fear.

"They might not be," I said, trailing my finger down her cheek. "But they felt so strangely familiar. This isn't the first time we've encountered this tribe. This isn't the first time we've _been_ here. Long ago, we had a run-in with their tribe. The Quiluetes were worried about what our kind would do to their people, their knowledge so much greater than what we could have ever imagined. So they protected the tribe, in a way that none of us ever imagined possible, Bella. Like Emmett said, they turned into wolves, the form of their ancestors. We made a pact with them—to stay of their land and protect humans—but it was shaky at best."

"But that doesn't mean that they are _still _wolves, Edward. That's absolutely ridiculous."

"More ridiculous than the idea of _vampires,_ Bella?" I asked. "A few months ago, you would have questioned that, wouldn't you?"

She stared back at me, broken, fearful, and distraught, but not because of the fact that she was this monstrous creature that she shouldn't have understood. It was only later that I fully realized how far into our world she already was, even at that moment. She looked like she wanted to cry. But she didn't answer my question. She turned her eyes to the floor, looking ashamed. And nodded distractedly.

"Right," she murmured. I tilted her face up again, searching it for the answers I needed from her. Her reaction surprised me, and I didn't understand. How could she fear the existence of these creatures—not accept it as a possibility—when she was the epitome of fantasy and legend? When_ I_ was, and my family was? How was it that she woke up and accepted it so easily, but this idea of wolves was too much for her? I couldn't understand. She pulled away from me slightly, her eyes looking everywhere and finally into mine again, and my chest grew heavy with her sadness.

"We can't be sure, of course, but it all feels so familiar," I explained gently. "Their smell, their radiating temperature, their strange suspicions. There's something to it. And I need to protect you. Even if you thought you knew them before, you are not the same as you were."

She nodded sadly, her eyes leaving mine and watching the air outside curl and shift. I sighed, knowing she'd lost another piece of herself today, as all she knew floated away as if on the breeze. There was so much of her humanity left to waste, so much more that I would shatter. This girl, barely a woman, who had seen too much, had not even begun to understand the ways of our world, the nightmares that hid out in the dark. She stepped away from me quietly and approached the window. I tried to reach out for her, but my father stopped me with a steady hand on my shoulder.

She approached the window, wide and open and looked out, placing her hands and forehead against the cool glass. How many times would I fail her, I wondered.

"We need to be careful," I said to my family. "I have a feeling, if they found Bella with us, it would be immediate and all-out war."

Before I left the room, I caught the reflection of piercing, red—suffering—eyes.

* * *

I let Bella be, knowing she needed some time to digest all the info I'd given her. She'd not tried to stop me from leaving, but still, her gaze had not been accusatory. On the contrary, actually. She was not pushing me away, I could feel it. We'd made a promise to each other, and we both intended to keep it, I knew. But still, she needed space—she needed to do some of this on her own, but still needed me near. It was how I needed her at the moment. I couldn't imagine what she could be thinking, knowing that those she loved were giant beasts who likely were looking for our blood. And maybe, now hers.

I listened as she quietly padded through the house, alone and unspeaking. She paced. I paced with her, my steps falling in with hers, two floors above her. I was so focused on listening to her and following her that I almost missed Rose's thoughts as they entered the room.

"You should probably thank me, you know. If you would have been here, there might have been a bloodbath." She was joking, trying to clear the air with me over her earlier outburst that sent Bella and I away in the first place. Her thoughts were troubled with guilt over it, so ashamed at the way that she acted, though she'd never say as much out loud. She tried to hide it, this remorse, too afraid to show weakness or frailty.

"You were cruel, Rose," I told her, finally turning my attention to her. I couldn't keep the anger out of my tone. Despite what Rose felt, how much it hurt her every time a woman's choice was taken away, it was no reason to overlook the fact that Bella deserved her respect. "You are angry with me, for what I did, the way I took her choice away. You see yourself in her."

She was about to protest, tell me I was wrong, but I cut her off.

"But you had no right to take your frustration out on her. Whatever pain her transformation brings up for you, I'm sorry. I feel the guilt for my decision like a weight tied around my neck—heavy and unrelenting. Every moment. _Believe me_. I hate myself more than you ever could. But none of that is her fault. And you have no right to make her feel as if it is. Don't treat her like she's less than you—because she's better than any of us. I won't allow that ever again. I never should have let you speak, and if you speak to her like that again, you will have _me_ to answer to."

For a moment, my words frightened her. She was a mix of emotions, and I felt it in her thoughts and Jasper's too as it swirled and crackled in the air. She wanted to attack me, she wanted to scream at me. She hated her own actions as much as she hated mine. She wanted to run, and not look back. And she wanted to be enclosed in strong arms and cradled like a small child, cocooned from the realities of the world.

Slowly, she walked herself through each of these things. After a long moment, she sighed, knowing that I was right. She was already formulating a plan to apologize to Bella, sincerely. She opened her eyes and asked me with her thoughts what she should do.

I motioned her downstairs. Close on her heels, I needed to see it for myself. There was too much at stake for me in this apology, even though it wasn't for me. I didn't know how Bella would take it, with all that already rested on her tiny shoulders. I didn't know if she'd need me, though I was already so desperate to be beside her again that it likely didn't matter if she did or not.

Bella was alone in the dining room. I'd known that's where she would be. Her fingers trailed over the mahogany of the formal hearth that never was lit. She traced over the ornate decorations on the mantle, pausing when we were both in the room, her back to us. Behind us, the rest of the family gathered. Alice, knowing what Rose was about to do, but not what Bella would do with it; Jasper, feeling the tension in the air and needing to control it before it controlled him; Emmett, out of support for his wife; Carlisle and Esme, hoping for no further confrontation between their beloved children. I, out of devotion for the only thing worth continuing on for and the need to protect her.

"Bella, I—" Rose started, but Bella halted her, raising her hand and sighing. She turned slowly, unsurprised by all of us there.

"Don't," she whispered, gently and full of sympathy. She took a step forward and cleared her throat, in a way that was entirely too human. "Listen, Rosalie. Edward told me what you why you feel the way you feel—that this is because of the choices he made for me. And I'm sorry, that you feel that this life's downfalls outweigh the good. I really am—I wish there was a way to make it right for _you_."

Rose's jaw dropped slightly. Bella's voice was gentle, and kind, and through her words, I saw what a truly good person she was.

Even though she _was_ a vampire.

Our family stood in awe of her, their minds grateful for her genuine nature, and pleased that she could accept Rose even through her unkind displays. She paused for a moment there, letting the truth of her words sink in.

And then, she squared her shoulders, took a slight step forward, and raised her chin.

"But _don't_, for one second, think that I have to feel the way you do. I'm sorry—_so sorry_—that you cannot find solace in any of it, that you wish that you'd found death over the dark sides of this life. I _know_ what I've given up. _Believe_ me. Every day, I grieve the fact that I'll never be able to see my father again and tell him how much he's truly made me who I am, or stand in the sunlight with my crazy mother eating popsicles and laughing at nothing. I _know_ what I'm living. And every missing moment that I'm _not_."

It was my turn to stand in shock. Her words were not unkind, but they were powerful. I staggered at the way they worked me to the core, the way I stirred, knowing that I was born for this creature. Despite the fact that she might never be mine, there was power in the fact that I belonged solely to her.

"But I'm not _you_," she said softly. "I'm _not_ regretful. I never had a choice as to whether or not I would die or live like you all, but I _do_ choose to live for the choice that fate made _for_ me. I may have not woken up that morning and decided to be a vampire, but I do greet the sun every morning and say a thank you that I have all of you—this family that is so much more than just a coven to me—that I know more than I ever have before, that I feel more right in my own self than I ever have before. Our choices aren't always our own, but what we do with the consequences _are_—and I've never been more grateful for one made for me as I am of _this_."

No one spoke, all of us so moved with her words for our own reasons. She was strong—stronger than I ever gave her credit for. I watched her as she looked from each of us to the next. Her eyes fell on me and she sighed.

She walked forward, her eyes never leaving mine. She reached out her hand to me and I took it, and she pulled me through all of them, out the door and away from the house. Neither one of us spoke, simply flying through the trees, hand in hand. I did not need to ask where we were going. She led me there easily, even though we had not come back to this place where I changed her.

There, in the shade of the broken trees, in the place where she stepped out of her old life and into her new—where her eyes opened and she begged me to save her—I held her. She sobbed into my shirt, desiccated, waterless tears, and I rocked her in my arms.

The empty place in my chest where my heart once beat ached. I could not stop it, though I knew that her sadness was not for what I had done to her—though she should hate me for all that I had forced on her, she did not. She had not lied to Rosalie back there. She was truly at peace with the life she had inherited—she embraced it, fell into step with it, and even loved it at times. She had no regrets. Perhaps, it was the knowledge that she was so at ease with my actions, with what I was, that unsettled me.

How could someone as truly good as her ever truly love me?

She let me rock her as she came to grips with the knowledge that she now had. She left behind all of it. She gave up her friends and her father, her sunshine and her mother, sleeping and breathing and eating, and the safety of all that she knew. She let it wash out of her in cleansing hiccupping sobs, as she released it into the trees there. At the place where she died.

And when she was done, and she had let that part of herself go for what would be forever, she rose confidently, took my hand, and we ran back home—_our_ home—trailing the remains of her humanity behind us.

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**End Notes: **So thanks to everyone that is still reading. I really can't believe that you are all still with me. If something speaks to you, let me know. I hope to return to a more regular schedule of updating now that I've got a little mojo back. ;)

Thanks again! Happy New Year!


	14. Chapter 14: Importance of a Timely Exit

**Author's Note:** See Author's Note at the end.

**RECAP of Entwined:** In case you COMPLETELY forgot what this story was about…

Our little Eddie gets a whiff of Bella as per the saga, and takes off. BUT instead of coming right back, he returns 6 months later to find a car wreck and Bella, dying. He turns her, realizing (with a whole lot of denial and a ton of pigheadedness) he's in love with her. Bella loves him too? May-beee… And Bella's pretty cool—strange power they don't quite get yet, a whole lot of stubbornness of her own, and secrets she's keeping. Plus, she just told Rose where to shove it. But since Bella and Edward never get it easy, they are being watched…closely.

If you are so inclined, I HIGHLY recommend that you go back and read previous chapters if you can't remember. Even I had to do it for continuity purposes. I know… bad. I know. You don't have to say it.

**Chapter 14: Playlist Song: Nothing But You, by Kim Ferron**

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 14: The Importance of a Timely Exit**

The sunlight glittered and bounced off her skin as if she were covered in droplets of water. She lay on her stomach, her head lolled slightly to the side, and her fingers holding open a small paperback. Her brow was furrowed in the most adorable way, and her sharp teeth were pressed into her bottom lip, as she read her story as slowly as she could have possibly managed. Even though she was trying to savor it, her fingers flipped the pages too fast. Still, she reminded me so much of a human, the way her legs, straight up in the air behind her and crossed at the ankle, continued to kick in cadence with her reading. Occasionally, she'd sigh, her lips pursing from her story. She was reading so intently, I didn't know if she'd noticed the way my own book was thrown haphazardly to the side.

It had been a mere week and three days since Bella's revelation. Though we'd tried desperately to continue on as though nothing had happened in our world, there was no denying the fact that something loomed on the horizon—for us and for our world. Outside our home, the humans continued their lives as if nothing new had changed, as if they were not on the precipice of something, blissfully unaware of the world in which we existed. The shops continued to open, the schools continued to teach, the hospitals still ran. Charlie Swan still searched for his little girl. So we continued to humor them, each of us playing our part.

But all was not the same as it had been, before Bella found out about the interference of the Quileutes, or before she dissolved the link to her human life.

We could all feel it, and we were preparing for it.

We didn't have any more visits from the Quileutes, but it was quite apparent that there were some kind of stirrings down at the reservation. In school, my siblings heard murmurings of fights and wild parties that involved reservation boys. In the hospital, Carlisle heard of and saw more injuries come in from the Quileutes that they refused to explain the origins of. It was as if the entire tribe was alit, a tumult readying itself on the horizon above their land. It made us cautious—it made us ready. We knew that it was no coincidence.

Inside our home, there was unrest. We were divided, each of us with our own opinions about the situation at hand. Whispered, heated conversations took place in corners of our home, or in locked bedrooms amongst lovers. It was obvious that something needed to happen though, and soon.

The Denali coven left right away, erring on the side of caution. There was disagreement among them as well, though, whether or not they _should_ distance themselves from us. As our family, Tanya and Kate felt it was important to stay should we need them, but secretly, Carmen and Irina worried about their own group. It was only upon Carlisle's request that they made the decision go—we'd been so lucky that they were not at the house when the Quileute boys had visited, because it would not have been amiable had they been there. Plus, Carlisle hated to engage them in a fight, should it come to that. The risk to his own family was already too much to bear.

I tried to keep as much of it from Bella as possible. As strong as she was, I did not want her to be afraid—at least that is what I told _myself_. Really, I did not want her to regret what had become of her. All of this was another test, another weight bearing down on her vampire life. I feared that all of it would finally tip the scale, and she would not even have the stomach to look at me. Though she said she did not regret her life now, there was always that fear that she might change her mind and come to hate me in the way that she should have all along.

The air surrounding all of us was full of tension, as we pretended that we didn't need to make these difficult decisions. Jasper was constantly on edge, his thoughts near-frantic, as he fed off of each of our insecurities. In an effort to leave some of the tension behind if only for a short time, Bella and I had disappeared to my meadow, a bag full of books between us. It was the least I could do for her. She felt such guilt for our obvious upheaval.

Not that I was complaining, of course. Hearing everyone's disgruntled thoughts was enough to drive me crazy, and I'd take any opportunity to spend time with Bella alone. Alone in this place with her, I could pretend that the world wasn't the nightmare I'd bore her into.

I was thankful that she had fallen into her life now with such grace, or so it seemed. It made things simpler in that she didn't have this period of intense hatred and regret. There were other things, however that tempted me. I found myself forgetting that she was a newborn. I felt more human than I had my whole life, and I found myself lost in her. All of her.

The way she moved and spoke and laughed. The timber of her sighs, the musicality of her voice. I watched her with such intensity and desire sometimes that Jasper had to clear his throat out of embarrassment for the feelings coming off of me. And for the first time in my whole existence as a vampire, I found myself, locked in a room alone with only my thoughts of Bella, and the pleasure of my own hand. I was ashamed about the way I had let my discipline slip. I'd had such constraint my whole existence, but now, with her, I could barely check myself. I was mortified about the way I fantasized about her, the things I wanted to do to her. Like a bullet train, I felt that I was speeding out of control, heading in a dangerous, dark destination. And, more so, the fact that I didn't want to try and regain it.

And she was oblivious to it all, the way I obsessed over her—the way that I was mesmerized by the curve of her shoulder and the dip of her lower back. I didn't know how she _couldn't_ feel it sometimes, though I was immensely grateful for it. I didn't want to frighten her away, with my desperation. The desperation that I always felt.

The intense desperation that I was feeling now.

I shifted to hide the evidence of my thoughts of her, angling my body away from her. She noticed the movement out of her peripheral, and took that moment to look up. She smiled sweetly, as if we weren't hanging in the precarious position we were in. She sighed and closed her book, stretching onto her back.

"What time are we supposed to be back?"

As if she didn't know—as if she wasn't always aware that tonight we would decide all of our futures. I imagined that she was always ticking away the seconds in her head. The meeting we had planned that evening would be the vote to determine what our next course of action was going to be. We were going to leave, I was sure, but I wanted that to be _her_ choice. They all knew this. And that was the cause of most of the unrest.

Rose wanted to be gone the moment the Quileute boys left the house. Jasper agreed that we needed to pack up and go immediately. Carlisle hesitated because of me, and because of the guilt that he'd feel at leaving the hospital so abruptly. Emmett wanted a fight. Esme wished only for our safety, while Alice wanted to get as far away from the disturbance in her visions as possible. And I wanted Bella to make the decision. Because _we_ weren't the ones leaving behind all that we'd ever known.

Rose had called me every name in the book, of course, inferring with her curses and slanders that all this was my fault in the first place.

Of course, she was right. But I wasn't going to tell her that, and I wasn't going to back down.

"Soon," I told Bella gently. She only nodded and sat up. She tucked her knees up under her chin and looked out across the meadow at the hills beyond.

"When do you think we'll leave?" she whispered.

"We haven't decided that yet."

She looked over at me, her eyebrows rising in response. She was good at hiding things from me, but I knew the small smile that played on her lips was somewhat false.

"Edward, _really_. I know that with all that is going on, with me being a vampire and now with all the upset, we'd have to leave at some point. Of course we would. And I guess I always understood that, but…" she hesitated, stealing a moment to collect her thoughts. "I just thought I'd have a chance to make it right for him, to make him more at peace. I hate leaving him this way."

"I'm sorry," I told her again. She moved beside me, quietly. Her hand touched mine, and the warmth of her made me look up into her eyes. She didn't say anything, but I could tell by the warm look on her face what her lips were not saying: _"Please, no more apologies. Please, not more 'I'm sorry's.'"_ I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. She was right, of course. No words could change anything now, and they would not ease any of the ache. I would know—Carlisle's had never taken away the consequences of this life for me, or for Rose.

"Does it ever get easier?" she asked. "Leaving, I mean." She was only curious now.

"It's different for everyone," I told her. That was true, I supposed. I could hear it in everyone's thoughts. Esme and Carlisle always made the deepest ties to the places we lived. Carlisle usually worked in the hospitals or the clinic's where he was most needed, and Esme played the part of his dutiful wife. When we left, they missed the connections they'd made. Sometimes, when we returned to places we'd lived before, it struck chords in us. But I'd never truly cared before. Places were only places, people only humans who I would never see again, their lifetimes over in the blink of an eye. By the time we returned, they would be dead. It wasn't until I'd left Forks so many months ago that I felt the first ache of leaving somewhere. "This will be the most difficult. For you. And for me."

She snorted softly in that way that made me think there was more going on in her head than I understood.

"Was it hard to leave _your_ home? I mean, after you were changed? Was it hard to leave where you had grown up?"

"No," I told her. "There was nothing left for me there, not really, anyway. My parents were gone, passed away before me. Carlisle had taken me away for my transformation, so I wasn't living in my house. It's still there and I still own it. I maintain it, in case we would need to stay there at some point, and I inherit it all again every generation, but as far as I was concerned, that life was gone the moment I woke up like this. My life wasn't something I cared too much to hold on to then."

For a moment, I was not there with her. I had few memories of my life that I'd left—they'd begun to fade and wash into soft tones when I turned—but for just a second, I was almost remembering them as they once were. I was a boy again, a child with a quieter mind and thoughts that consisted of only his own. I was stubborn, warring with the father that I would soon lose. I was the boy on the precipice of manhood, who only wanted to show the world how much unlike his father he was, and the little boy who's heart broke when he listened to his mother's sobs in the dark of the night. I was dying when Carlisle changed me, but before that, I hadn't been living the life I should have been. I was a young man, lost. My change had pulled me from one kind of turmoil, and thrust me into one even more frightening. When I woke from the burning, I'd wished for death. I knew what it was like to regret. But I'd never been sad to leave the place where I'd died. In fact, I practically ran from everything I'd ever been, if for nothing more than to forget.

Bella's hand, soft and gentle on my arm again, brought me back to the moment. To this girl-woman who was so unlike me, but who made me want to be like her. I _wanted_ to be like her—good and beautiful and warm, despite her thirst for blood. I wanted to feel human again, and I wanted to feel that way with her.

I only hoped that I would have that chance someday.

I stood, and dropped my hand to her. She took a deep breath, knowing that what awaited us was our departure from Forks. But after a moment, she placed her palm in mine. The feeling of her made everything seem so much more important. So much more real. It was as if I were on fire, electrocuted from the inside out. Burning, but whole.

Together, we went home to face our fate.

* * *

"This is ridiculous," snorted Rose, slamming her palm on the table so that the walls trembled and Esme's curio cabinet cowered. "We're going around in circles, when we all know the next course of action. We just have to do it!"

We'd been talking for over an hour, tossing back our feeling on the matter of leaving Forks. There had been no argument, though the air had been wound tight with the unsteady feelings. Jasper was sitting, his head in his palms from the emotions filtering through him. It was especially difficult with Bella, who was throwing him all off balance. It was almost as if he were weary.

Emmett shot me a sorrowful gaze. He'd been especially sensitive to my feelings on the matter of leaving. He knew the delicate nature of our move, and how tentatively I considered Bella's reaction to it. Above all, it had to be _her_ decision, _her_ words, that moved us. I wanted her to understand the consequences of our move—and perhaps the more devastating consequences of our staying. Because, while we all had to uproot the life that we'd been living over the past few years, she was the one who was leaving the most behind. Thankfully, Emmett was on my side.

"Eh, I really don't think we _have _to go yet, babe." Emmett said, coming over and throwing his arm over her shoulder. "I mean, sure, the res boys are sniffing around"—he paused and snorted at his own bad joke—"but that doesn't mean they are going to make a move. And even if they did, bring it on! As long as we don't cross over to their side—as long as we stick to what we've always done—they'll be the initiators. And we'll be on our turf."

He shot Bella a sympathetic look.

_I'm trying to help, Edward, but even I can see the holes in this argument._

I nodded my thanks, but he was right. Carlisle sighed and Rose opened her mouth.

"We _are_ the initiators, Emmett. At least Edward was. What difference does that all make now—lines and treaties—when we've already broken the biggest, most sensitive part of the treaty in the first place. You know, 'thou shall not bite another human?'"

"Rosalie is right, Emmett, I'm afraid," Carlisle interjected. "While we've not crossed their treaty lines, and have no intention of doing so, I'm afraid that they would view Bella's transformation as the most heinous of crimes. Their focus would likely no longer be protection, but retaliation. While we would not change it for anything in the world"—he reached over and grabbed Bella's hand while meeting my eyes and casting me a silent plea of understanding—"Bella's addition to our family has broken the treaty."

I watched Bella, wondering what was going on in her mind, once again. She'd been so quiet as we'd talked, simply listening and absorbing. She knew the theories, the stories, the past. Now, she was faced with the future. I wondered if she was sad, if she was angry, if she was afraid. I wished again that I had never changed her, but then in the same instant, my eyesight went black, my body felt like it would rip apart from the inside, and I thought I might die. No! I could never wish that.

"Well, I don't care about any of that," Esme said, sliding in beside Bella and wrapping her arms around her. "Damn the treaty. If it hadn't have been broken, we wouldn't have her. Whatever we do, it will be together." Bella looked up at her, almost overwhelmed, her returning smile not meeting her eyes. "And if it means we need to stay here to do it, so be it."

"Hell, yes!" Emmett boomed. Bella snorted, looking around to each of us. Her eyes fell on me. She looked away quickly.

"Is your vision still clouded, Alice?" Carlisle asked, already knowing the answer. She nodded.

"Yes. And no," she sighed. "There are holes, places that I can't see. I can't even try to search for them, of course. It's unusual, though I've never tried before now. I never had a reason too. But still, I don't know what it means."

"Do you think it is because of what they are?" I asked. She'd been wondering that herself over the last week, tossing about the idea that she couldn't see them because they existed on another realm entirely. I didn't necessarily believe that—Jasper and Carlisle didn't either. There had to be more to it than that.

"I think it must be," she said, "though we don't really know _what _they are, do we?" She growled in frustration. Alice without her gift was like…there was no Alice.

"Exactly," Emmett said, leaning his strong hands against the wooden table in front of him. "We don't know that we're dealing with the same things we did before. Hell, maybe these kids are just that—kids. Kids who want to get to the bottom of this, and think it's a good idea to threaten vampires with vigilante justice. There's no guarantee they even shift like their ancestors. They maybe aren't even capable after all this time."

"But we don't know that they are _not!" _Rose growled. "So they might not be shape-shifting dogs. They could still out us. Not that we'd know any of that, since Alice still can't _see_ anything. We are wasting time here, when we could be leaving. We are _blind_ here. And we're throwing all that we've worked so hard to protect right down the drain."

For a moment, there was silence as they each considered her words. She was right, and they all knew it. _I_ knew it. Regardless of who the Quileutes were—whether they were simply fearless, foolhardy boys or shape-shifting wolves that would bring on a battle that would threaten us and our way of life—they were a danger to us. We needed to leave, so that that danger didn't seep into other areas of Forks. Who knew how far they would go if they learned of my deceit. Suddenly, the guilt hit me again, the full force of my actions bearing heavily on me. And it wasn't just about Bella, now.

A tiny cough, a clearing of a quiet throat caused all of us to look up.

"Can I say something?" Bella asked. When she accepted our questioning looks and quiet nods as invitation enough she stood. "I wanted to say I was sorry, first of all."

Before any of us could interject, her little hand rose with determination.

"No, please. Let me say this. I'm sorry that my introduction into the family has caused this. I really am. I never wanted to cause problems. But I really am glad that it ended up this way." She paused for a moment and looked at each of us. When her eyes met mine this time, she did not look away. "I know that you think that this is no life worth living"—she looked at Rose and then back at me, before returning to her speech and meeting all of our gazes—"but I see myself as a member of this family, at least, it feels that way to me. I know what you are all doing here, arguing about whether or not to stay or go. Even if you don't necessarily agree with what you're arguing."

She shot Emmett a poignant look, which he returned with a sheepish one.

"But," she continued, "you don't have to do that. I will hate to leave my father, but I can't be with him anymore, and I know that. Whether it's directly because of me, or because of something in our world, he's not safe. And I have to think of all of you. Because you are my family now. He will always be my father, but you are whom I need to stay with. And I know we can't stay here forever. If it is safer for us to go, to leave now, then we have to go. Please don't put all of yourselves—all of _us_—in danger because you think that I can't handle it. Because I can. I will."

I had no time to be in awe of her, my beautiful girl. Immediately, I was hit with a vision, a promise of what was to come. So intense in its nature, so vivid, I was almost transported by the clarity of it. I saw in Alice's mind the wave of the evening breeze through the trees outside the terrace, the gentle wind through Bella's mahogany hair, wafting the scent of baguettes and fresh water through her floral-sweet fragrance. I could almost feel the weight of her against me as I wrapped my arms around her and the uncommon pressure of my lips against her temple. In Alice's mind, I leaned into Bella, both of us sighing a contented breath, and looked out over the teeming city streets below, the towering structure of the Eiffel tower casting its hazy yellow glow onto the Seine. Her fingers entwined with mine, and for a moment, it was all so real when I closed my eyes it felt like I was there.

Alice's eyes met mine, wide and knowing. A smile lit her face.

"They are _back_!" She shrieked. Immediately, the room began teeming with life, all of us making our own plans, mapping out all that had to be done, how long it would take to complete it all. Where we would go. How much we each had to wrap up, and what could be left with loose ends.

_Two days,_ Carlisle thought, the timeframe flashing absently through his mind. The more he pondered, the more it became certain. That was all that stood between myself and Alice's vision. Suddenly, nothing was more important than leaving Forks.

* * *

It was decided upon. Officially.

It was Thursday. By the break of dawn on Sunday morning, we would be somewhere else completely.

Two days would allow for all of us to organize proper paperwork that would change our identities for the next place. It would allow Jasper time to acquire new IDs, passports, pasts. In two days, the house could be more than organized for our departure. By that time, all could be moved and inventoried, stored away until we needed it or we could come back, whenever that may be. Two days would give Esme time to pack our most valuable paintings and pieces, and have them donated, anonymously, of course. Two days would take us to the weekend, to give us a head start, before Monday came and the world that we were leaving would begin again, bustling and full of life.

Two days would give Bella time to write a letter, and for me to slip it in her room, perhaps in a book or under a stack of paperwork. Hopefully someday, Charlie would find it, when his heart had healed, just a little, and when he least expected it. It was the least we could do.

Two days would be enough for Carlisle to put in his notice, though abrupt. It would allow him a chance to pass off his cases, and for him to say goodbye to one in particular that he'd been working on for far too long—one that even he couldn't change the outcome of. It had weighed so heavily on his mind of late, that I even hated to drag him away from the little, bright-eyed girl whose hand he'd held long after his shift had ended, in the quietness of the hospital. He'd thought of her often in the endless hours of our lifestyle, a tiny frail thing with long brown hair and long eyelashes over resilient brown eyes. As ever, Carlisle was affected more deeply by a child illness than any other, but he was powerless to stop it. I noticed, though, that he thought of her more since Bella had come into our lives. It was not a cognitive connection, but I was suddenly unable to stand the way his mind seemed to correlate the two girls, so different now, yet the same.

Her name was Lily, I'd come to find out. She was ten, and though she was unlikely to see eleven, one wouldn't know it by speaking to her. She was intelligent, well-spoken, had a quick wit that outshined most of the adults that surrounded her. Her little bald head was wrapped in scarves of all colors of the rainbow, and she drew pictures of sunbeams and clouds and bluebirds. She hated broccoli and loved pepperoni pizza, and had a cat named Mouse. And when someone cried, she told a joke so compelling that they began to forget the reason for their tears, even if just for a moment. When Carlisle came to visit she wrapped her arms around him and told him that she had missed him. She didn't mind the cold touch of his skin as he checked her vitals, though she told him he needed better circulation. And then she'd laugh. And she talked with him about heaven in the middle of the night when her parents were gone and all that could be heard was the beeping of the machines around her.

And she never cried or shuddered in fear of what was to come, her heart as strong as her body wasn't.

Carlisle wished he could take her with us. It was a fleeting thought from time to time. But he couldn't, and he knew that. He couldn't save her, despite the power of his venom, because there were rules. And he needed to protect his family. If he couldn't save Lily, at least he could save Bella.

Two days would give him enough time to tell her to be strong, to tell her how proud of her he was, and to deposit a hefty sum into her parents bank account that might help her get to the Seattle Children's Hospital—despite the fact that her parents could never afford that. Anonymously, of course.

In two days, we planned to leave this world that we'd all wanted to be a part of, behind.

* * *

She was so good at faking it, but I noticed. There was so much to do that the others may have been fooled because of their distractions, but I saw it so clearly. I _felt _it.

As we tried to make everything ready for our departure, she went along with it, but deep beneath the smiles and laughs and excitement of going somewhere new, I could tell that she was suffering from it.

Bella poured over her letter to the point that I began missing her. For hours, she wrote, jotting and scratching out things over and over again and rewriting until she was mentally exhausted. She kept it all to herself, though I'd never ask her to read it anyway. It was not for me, and truthfully, I didn't want to know what she told her father. I was better off not knowing.

Two days passed too quickly for her, though I was crawling the walls to leave. When Saturday afternoon finally came, she finished.

In preparation for our move, the rest of the family had gone to hunt, leaving Bella and I alone in the near-empty house. This final, satiating hunt was a necessity when we traveled. Moving on was always tricky. We prepared as much as we could, and having Alice was beneficial, but there were always potential unknowns, decisions that were out of even our hands. I encouraged Bella to go as well, knowing how important it was for her especially. As a newborn who had a tentative hold on her control, it would be vital to fill herself up as much as possible. I also hoped the hunt would alleviate some of her longing, at least for a little while, but she refused. Naturally, I stayed with her, promising my family we would go just before we left. The time might be good for us both.

Though we were alone in the house, I was trying to give her as much space as possible.

I was packing up the last of my books, when she appeared in the doorway, completed letter in hand. She passed it to me, and no words were necessary. I would go that night for her, and put it away for Charlie Swan to find.

"Where?" I asked her. She sighed deeply and bit her lip.

"There's a notebook. On my desk in my room. A purple one, with stars on the cover. Please put it there. Inside are some other old school assignments. Just in that stack is fine."

I could hear the sorrow in her voice. Though she'd left that life behind a little over a week and a half ago, it still hurt her deeply to do this. This was the final step in leaving her father behind. Someday, he'd find her letter. Someday, when he'd finally be able to go through her things without earth-shattering guilt and pain, he'd find it. And then he'd know everything she'd always meant to tell him but had never had the chance to say face-to-face.

And that was the most important thing to Bella—that her father knew how much she truly loved him.

I wondered about this—_have_ wondered about it in all the time since—the deeply profound, unspoken love that Bella shared with her father. Neither one was overly emotional with the other, spouting 'daddy's and 'little princess's and 'I love you's, but I could tell just from what I witnessed that their bond was monumental. Bella spent most of her childhood with her mother, and while she loved her deeply, her sudden separation from her father was the one that hurt her the most. Perhaps she knew that her mother would heal with less guilt, that she wouldn't forever blame herself like Charlie would. Or perhaps, Bella was so much like him that she fully understood him, making his pain more poignant. Whatever it was, she felt the need fix him, if only a little bit.

It was Bella's idea to write this letter in the form of an old homework assignment. She hoped he wouldn't think anything of it until later. She hoped, when the timing was right, he'd look through her things and find it, when he was trying to make a connection to her again. Now was not the right time, but maybe later, when he was looking through what was left of her possessions for the memories they evoked rather than the answers they lacked. Maybe at that point, she reasoned, he would be ready to read it and _not_ try to find the hidden meaning in it, as if she were trying to leave him a secret message. Even though that's exactly what she was trying to do.

"Anything else?" I asked, searching her eyes for my own secret message.

"No. Just the letter," she sighed. She was still for a moment, lost in her own thoughts. Her eyes searched out the window into the cool, grey day. "He sleeps pretty soundly. At least he _did_. Maybe not so much now. But he snores. When he's snoring, he's really asleep."

A soft, loving smile was playing on her lips as she rambled. She finally looked at me and frowned.

"Just be careful," she whispered.

"I will," I promised. "You father will never know I'm there."

"I know," she sighed. "I really know."

* * *

By the time Esme and Carlisle had returned, it was night, and Bella had retreated again. I knew where she was at all times. My body tracked her as if she was part of it, but I could not see into her mind like the others, and I had no way to know where her insecurities lay. I wished I knew what she was up to in this big empty house, all alone and quiet. More than that though, I wished I could help. For now, all I could do was set the letter in place and hope it would give her some solace.

I left her there with my parents, knowing they would watch out for her, and that when I returned, I could give her some much-needed succor.

_We will watch her, son_, Carlisle thought. _Go do this for her so she has some closure._

He was thinking of me, too, and how I never had that kind of opportunity. His guilt so mirrored mine, I wish I had understood it sooner.

I made my way over to her house quickly, dashing through the darkness on foot. The world was at rest, that near-perfect quiet of the night. In houses throughout Forks, people were dreaming. I could see the pictures in their heads, flashes of their memories, fears, desires—like a kaleidoscope of their sleeping lives. Dreams were not complete or cognitive like a person's direct thoughts. As I passed the homes of those resting, I only saw glimpses of their minds. None of them mattered. It wasn't until I reached Charlie Swan's home that any of them weighed heavily on me.

Up in the bedroom, Charlie was asleep. Bella was right—he snored. But his sleep was not restful, only what his body needed to maintain the constant assault that it had been going through. Since Bella's disappearance, he barely ate; he got no real rest, even when his eyes managed to close. Carlisle had not been honest with Bella, at least by not telling her everything. Charlie was a wreck, his mind beating the hell out of his body. In his fitful brief rest, I saw how terrifying his mind had been since Bella had gone. He was dying right along with her. Only, he wasn't actually going to die from it. He only wished for it.

I allowed myself just a moment of his mind despite the fact that I knew it was a bad idea. He was dreaming of her, of a day from her childhood—one of the few times he had her with him. It was so shockingly clear like nothing I'd ever noticed before. She couldn't have been more than eight, young and awkward, but still completely my beautiful Bella. My still heart clenched at the sight of her childhood, something I would never see again. Bella was laughing, Charlie's mind playing out the moment in slow motion as she skipped and giggled. Her child-like exuberance was that of pure light and joy radiating from her in a way that I had no idea humans could actually see. In that second of his thoughts, I saw how much he always loved her and how he always thought of her, even when she was away with her mother. And then she tripped and fell the way children do. Suddenly, she was no longer a little girl, but a young woman—_my_ young woman—and she was falling to the point that Chief Swan could not ever catch her.

His mind went hazy after that, and I couldn't even make out a moment of it any longer. He tossed and turned, but wouldn't wake. His body would not give up the few precious hours of sleep.

For a long while, I was shock still, knowing I'd caused this. I shared the grief with this man of all that Bella would never be, ever again. Charlie Swan would never see her again, never see her bright and sparkling smile, never hear her laugh. And I knew he worried that he might forget what it sounded like to hear her call him "Dad," because _I _would have worried about missing the sound of her voice, even despite my vampire memory, if I were ever faced with losing her. I understood then why Bella was so sad.

I was reminded of my task. I looked up at her window. It was a place I never expected to be, but I couldn't deny the fact that I was excited by the prospect of being there, surrounded by pieces of her. I leapt up to her window and pried open the pane.

Bella's room was an assault, the air whooshing out and nearly paralyzing me. I instantly regretted the decision not to hunt with the rest of my family. I was unprepared for how badly I began to crave Bella's blood, despite the fact that I could never have her in that way. I had not felt this way since returning to find her crashed on the side of the road. I gripped the window frame, and heard it groan beneath my fingers. I saw in brilliant shades of scarlet, and it reminded me of the way her body, all broken and ready for me, begged to my demon nature. My mouth watered with the thought of her blood flowing through me and making me stronger than I'd ever been. I could taste her and I felt the memory of her decadent heartbeat drumming in my ears. And I wanted to rip her apart and drink her down and laugh with the freedom of it. I wanted her blood to fill me to my tongue and teeth. And how easy it would be to go next door and drink down the man that had spawned her, who smelled close enough to her that it might begin to satisfy me…

It was Bella who stopped me. The memory of her in the meadow, brows furrowed as she flew through the pages of her book. Bella, who was home right now, ready to walk away from all of it—for us, for me. Bella, who had the most adorable tendency to bite down on her lip and an infectious laugh when she was a little girl. Bella, who would never forgive me if I drained the most important man of her life. Bella, whom I _loved._

It was not without extraordinary effort that I beat this beast away. He was terrifying and strong, but the idea that I might lose _her _was enough to make me lose my appetite for her blood. I thanked whomever would listen that her blood could no longer directly tempt me. My vision focused again.

With new clarity, I looked around her room. It was understated and feminine without being pretentiously girly. Lavenders and violets and delicate blues were spattered throughout the room, and I could see her in it, almost as if she were there with me. The room _was_ Bella, not the blood donor, but Bella the young woman, who should have been in that room breathing at that moment. She was everywhere where she'd never be again.

I removed the letter from my pocket and quickly found the notebook. It was exactly where she said it would be. Inside were a collection of returned papers: a calculus test that she'd scored fairly well on; a practice sheet from the Biology class I'd left her in so many months before; a paper she'd written on the duality of Hamlet's character. I flipped through, noting her attention to detail, the way she spoke so authoritatively, her obvious love and hate of certain characters. My beautiful girl was intelligent and eloquent. I had no right, but I swelled with emotion and pride.

Leaving the letter felt like a weight was lifted off of me. I hoped, miles away, Bella was feeling relief that the task was being accomplished. I breathed in heavily, allowing the scent of Bella's past life to fill me, steady me, make me whole.

I was reeling from Bella's presence there. And to be honest, despite the fact that I don't think I could ever hurt Charlie Swan for Bella's sake, it was a dangerous game I was playing just by continuing to stand there. But I couldn't help it.

This room contained all that was ultimately left of Bella's old life. I had things all over the world, stored away for whenever I might return to them, accounts scattered in every country with a variety of names as their holders. But this tiny little room was all that Bella had—it was everything that Bella had been. It felt important for me to be there.

I slowly walked around the room, taking in everything more acutely. It was neat and tidy, her clothes put away, her books stacked or shelved, of which there were many. I wasn't surprised. An ancient computer sat on the desk. I was almost tempted to turn it on and look at everything that it contained—I wondered if it would give me more insights into Bella's mind—but I worried about how long it would take, and I didn't have the luxury of too much time.

Over her desk was a bulletin board. There were pictures, trinkets, notes to herself. In the middle was a picture of Bella on a pier in the sunlight, her arm around a petite, older woman. I assumed this was her mother. Bella got her frame and her smile from her—her deep, warm eyes came from Charlie. In the picture, they were smiling and I could see the affection that seemed to radiate between them. But even still, despite that Bella was obviously younger, she looked like the one supporting her mother. She looked like the rock that kept it all together. I wondered if she missed that kind of life.

There were pictures of some of the students at the school, another of Bella's mother and her new husband, and one of Bella and a younger Quileute boy with long hair and round features. I assumed this was the Jacob that she was so fond of. I snorted in disgust, wondering what she really saw in him. There was a pair of concert tickets attached with a pushpin, a ribbon award for excellent academic achievement, and a variety of trinkets. I pulled a few of the items off and put them in my pocket, including pictures of her father and an elderly woman who shared her features, and filled it all in again so that it looked like nothing had been disturbed.

My fingertips trailed over her lavender bedspread, all neatly made. Two soft pillows lay abandoned at the head of the bed, an intricate dream catcher hanging above. I traced my fingers over the strings, felt the feathers slip through my fingers. There was no doubt where she'd gotten this, and I regretted that she even needed it in the first place. Little had she known that she would become the monster that haunted her dreams. But then, Bella wasn't a monster.

She'd never lay her head here again, but I wondered what it would have been like to see her there, her mahogany hair fanned out over the pillow. I wondered if she was restless, if she snored like her father, if she kicked her blankets off and tossed and turned. I wonder if she spoke in her sleep. I wonder if she ever dreamed of me. I wondered what she slept in.

I chided myself instantly, the way my thought's had wandered so quickly into red-hot impropriety. That was nothing but a fleeting fantasy—she never even knew me. How could she dream of me, want me, the way I wanted her? The way I wanted her, I realized later, even when I wanted her blood. I wondered if she ever dreamed of this _Jaco_b. My chest burned where my heart once beat.

I picked up the open book on her bedside table. _Wuthering Heights_. It was well-worn, the pages dog-eared and stained, as if she'd read it over and over. It was open to chapter fifteen, where Catherine begs Heathcliff for his forgiveness before she dies—she could not leave this world without his love. As much as I hated the story, how despicable the characters were, I could understand that sentiment. I would beg for the rest of eternity if it meant her forgiveness for my crimes. Her love, someday. Could she ever grant me that where Heathcliff could not?

I grabbed a few more classics and set them aside to take back to her. I retrieved a few pairs of her sweatpants and a few shirts. She seemed to favor these types of clothing, despite how much of a fight Alice put up. If Alice had it her way, Bella would be her walking doll, to dress as she pleased. It hardly mattered as far as comfort went what we wore, since fabric was in no way constricting, but Bella still preferred what most would consider lounging clothes. I hoped it would make her happy to have them.

On the top shelf of her closet, tucked in the back, was a small cigar box. I don't know why I reached for it, or why I was drawn to it, but I pulled it down. When I opened it, I knew I had to take it back to her.

Like the rest of her room, it contained pieces of her, but somehow it was more intimate. There was an aged photo of her mother and father, young and in love. It was something she kept hidden, tucked away but treasured. There was a delicate lace handkerchief, folded into a small square, a tiny "M" embroidered in the corner. A locket, the chain all twisted and knotted, lay at the bottom of the box, inscribed "_To my Helen, Love Geoffrey_." There was a vial of sand, the bottle scribbled in marker _Riverside, CA._ Another small vial contained rough red pebbles, and said _Phoenix. _ There was an old, weathered badge—"Deputy Swan." There was a postcard from Florida written in messy hand. There were a few antique rings, a playbill for _Midsummer Nights Dream_, and a baby picture of the most beautiful child I'd ever seen with warm chocolate eyes. I removed the pictures and mementos I'd taken off the board and placed them inside.

I found an empty bag in her closet and piled all the items in. On her dresser was a small glass jar of pins, which I emptied into the bottom of her drawer. It would make the perfect container for a little bit of Forks. With bag in hand, I looked around the room one final time. It was as if I were saying goodbye to Bella's life as much as she, a life I'd never been part of. With a final deep inhale of Bella's flavor, I jumped out the window, landing in the dirt below. Beneath Bella's window, I reached down and dug out some of the soft earth, placing it in the jar and sealing it tightly. I knew it wasn't much, but I hoped it would be somewhat of a relief to her, that she had a little bit of her home with her.

Time was running out to give her more.

* * *

When I returned home, I put the items I'd brought home for Bella in my car. I paused at the door on my way back in, breathing in deeply and taking a moment to ground myself. I reveled in the feeling of being almost whole again.

The house was so still, despite the fact that everyone was in it. Jasper's thoughts were carefully monitoring Bella's whereabouts, as he tried to steady himself against her ability. It was still so difficult for him at times, this feeling of push and pull a constant assault. It was especially straining for him now, our leaving looming. It would only be a few more hours now, as Alice saw.

Each member of my family was readying themselves for our departure. In general, we took very little with us—only the most important things that could fit in our vehicles. So there was not too much left to do. Our documents were in order, our cars already switched to new registration. In some cases, we simply left, our bodies and a few bags all we took with us. Many times we traveled on foot, since it was fastest. This time, however, since we had Bella with us, we planned on driving all the way to Northern Canada, to the place we'd chosen as our next location. It wasn't the most inconspicuous way to travel with all of us in expensive cars, but more often than not, we weren't running from anything. Usually, no one would be looking for us when we left. Now, I wasn't so sure that was the case this time.

At first, Bella had a hard time wrapping her mind around this strange way of moving. For the past two days, she'd been busying herself with real packing. The truth of the matter for us was that when we moved on, we began all new lives. There were some things we couldn't bear to part with of course—I had some sheet music and a few mementos from my own human life—but it wasn't much. We only took what was easy to carry. They were reminders of who we'd been—who we were.

The rest of our things were either donated or left. There was a chance we would come back to a place someday, so from a distance, Esme hired someone to pick it up and store it away for us. Other things that could be easily replaced, like our clothes, were dropped off to charity before we left town. Anonymously, of course.

Now, as I returned with news of the task that I completed for her, Bella was busying herself with packing up what was left of the clothing. Emmett was waiting to take the last few boxes to the Goodwill in town.

Bella stood at the dryer, pulling pieces out as slowly as her reflexes would allow. Her hair was piled on her head haphazardly, pinned up and away from her shoulders with bobby pins, music playing from an ipod attached to her. If I didn't know better, she would look like any young woman doing daily chores. But despite the fact that I knew better, something was off. She was distracted. Her movements were uneven, as she paused now and then to contemplate everything that was happening, gripping the warm clothes in her hands and inhaling their scent. I leaned against the doorframe, just watching her. Part of me was deeply saddened by everything that we'd—I'd—had to put on her shoulders. I had done her a disservice, despite how fervently she'd argue with me about it. I had made her like me, and forever doomed her to my life. But still, I couldn't imagine living without her now, and that's what I would be doing had I not turned her. It was a war within me, constantly.

I could have stood there watching her forever, as she absentmindedly folded laundry into the large box at her feet. Her hips swayed softly to the music coming out of the earbuds stuck in her ear. It was a false sense of peace, her body moving to the pulsing beat. It was as if she were trying to fool herself, but I knew that the joy was false. She was suffering silently—resigned to everything, but despondant. The more I watched her, the more I was pulled in by her spell.

I vowed never to let her down in this way again. _Never_ again.

Something stirred in me while I watched her sway, something that was far from protective and innocent. She still had not noticed me, and she began to lose herself in the music. The fluidity in which she moved was haunting, her little body so graceful where I know she had not been before. This action, the dance she was doing, was so out of her normal comfort zone, so unlike her in so many ways, yet still perfect and right. She was stunning, mesmerizing, and as I watched her, I wished more and more that Alice's vision of us—the one I had no right to want—would come true. I could only imagine what it would like to feel her dance with me like that in my arms, our bodies pressed against each other with nothing between us to hinder the warmth of our bodies. I wanted that so badly, I ached for it. Never before had I wanted one of Alice's visions to be so true.

She noticed me out of the corner of her eye then and halted. She pulled the earbuds out, obviously embarrassed by my watching her.

"Edward," she breathed, spinning quickly. The sound reverberated through me like a quake. She covered herself, as if she were naked, her hands crossing over herself. It was only then that I really noticed what she was wearing. Her legs were sheathed in a pair of black, clingy leggings that showed of her strong calves and powerful thighs. And she wore my shirt, a white cotton button-down that I'd discarded earlier.

It was far too big on her, too loose for me to have inappropriate thoughts about her clothing choice. But there was something overtly sexy about her wearing my clothes. Knowing that her bare skin was touching where mine had been made me growl deep in my throat.

"You're wearing my shirt," I said, and for a moment her eyes widened in what could have been fear. I stalked toward her, and she backed herself up against the dryer. She watched me, and the way that she was looking at me made me feel like the animal that I was.

"Sorry," she whispered, but the fear I had imagined was not in her voice and it wasn't entirely sincere sounding. She pressed herself against the machine so that she was leaning away from me, but her hips pressed into mine . I couldn't help my hand, as I reached out and touched the collar of the shirt. Had she been alive, perhaps I would have enjoyed the rampant way her heart should have been beating in her chest. For just a second, she was my prey again. My eyes followed the route of my hand down her collarbone around to the dip in her throat. She was so still. When I looked into her eyes, she was looking at me so intently it made my knees weak, my breathing hitch.

We stayed like that for a moment, stuck in the suspense. I wanted to take her in my arms, kiss her, love her. She was beautiful, perfect, and soon we'd be on our way to a new life, leaving behind everything that was tying us down. Soon, there would be nothing but the future for us. I closed my eyes and envisioned that potential with her again. It was everything to me. I hadn't wanted anything more since I'd craved Bella's blood.

And because of that, I stopped myself. I was on the edge, a feeling I was not comfortable with. Why was she always making me feel so out of control? How was it that this little creature could disarm me like no one ever could before? My desire for her was raging, too far gone.

And that wasn't fair. There was too much going on, too much I was asking of her this day. There was no way I wanted to complicate things more with all that needed to be accomplished. This would be too much, and I had no right to ask her for it, no matter how much I wanted it. Even if there was a chance that she wanted it too someday, today was not the day for it.

My vision cleared and I stepped back from her. For a second, I thought perhaps I saw a hint of disappointment on her face, but then it was gone in a flash, and she was smiling back at me as if none of it had happened. She quirked her eyebrow at me.

"I'm sorry," she said in a saccharine tone. "Did you want it back?" She was teasing me, playing with me, a sweet smile on her lips. But her tone was laced slightly with anger. She turned away from me, and continued to fold clothes. I couldn't move. I was ashamed of the way I had acted. She sighed, and turned around. "Help me with these, please?"

I didn't say anything, but moved to help her fill the last of the boxes. We worked side by side, both of us quiet, until Jasper came to get us.

_Edward, Edward, Edward, _he chided in my head. Of course he would know the feelings going on inside of me.

"Carlisle suggests it's time for you two to go," he said from the doorway, referring to the hunt that Bella and I still needed to go on. Time was running out. As the minutes when by, we were closer than I think she ever imagined we'd be to leaving. Bella turned and breathed deeply. I could see the emotions warring on her face.

"Let's go get this over with," she said, taking my hand and leading me out and away into the woods.

* * *

Bella had been relentless in the hunt. It had been obvious to me that she was taking out her sadness, aggression, and fear on our kills. After draining two elk and a deer, she was spent. We hardly spoke the entire time, and it frightened me.

When we returned, the family gave her space again. There was nothing left to do, but they could all tell how precious the moments were to her. Even though they were few.

Everything that could be done was done. Everyone was waiting, ready to leave Forks.

I found Bella alone, looking out the large picture windows. The bright moonlight was shining through the window, casting light into the nearly-empty room that was more like a shell than a home. Soon, it would be morning. Everywhere, the world would be waking. We would be gone, far away. She didn't turn when I came in, and I came up close behind her. I allowed her a moment to look out over the last and first home she'd ever have.

She leaned back against me. I could feel the deep breath she took, and I closed my eyes and breathed her in too. I hated what I was asking of her, that I had caused the melancholy in her. But I couldn't shake the image of her in my arms, the Parisian wind blowing around us, melding us together. It felt so right to be pressed against her now, like a little taste of that dream.

"It's time," I whispered. Bella turned and looked up at me with wide, frightened eyes. It was only there for a moment, before she accepted it. There was strength in her answering stare, despite how much she was suffering, an understanding that this was what lay in our future—over and over again. Perhaps, there might have even been a hint of excitement.

"I'm ready," she said, and looped her fingers through mine. I found my own strength in the touch of her palm against my own. With a gentle smile, she gave my hand a soft squeeze.

Just as we were turning to go, I was bombarded.

Alice's clear vision of our future turned abruptly. I'd been watching, and all the while, we'd been arriving in Canada safely. But now, I was met with a mixture of images, flashing through her mind like a slipped reel, all of them uncertain. I dropped Bella's hand and ran out to the yard, her close on my tail.

"Edward!" Jasper was screaming for me, his body alit with the emotions coming off of his wife, who was lying on the ground, her hands over her head. It was too much, and her mind was caving in on itself with unrecognizable images. The other members of the family, and Bella, who had been trying to understand what had suddenly happened when Alice collapsed to the ground, sprung into action a moment later.

"Alice," Carlisle said, kneeling down beside her, "what is it?" He was frightened from this. Even when she had been debilitated by the Quileutes presence, it had not hurt her in this way. He had never seen this, and even his vast mind had no way to know how to help her. Carlisle was not sure what to do. _That _frightened me.

Jasper was trying to hold on to her with his ability, but Alice was all over the place. She was panicky and in pain. He was chanting to himself like a mantra, but he could feel her slipping from him, her burden too much. It was throwing us all off, and we were suffering right along with them as Jaspers emotions bounced through all of us.

Bella grabbed my arm, trying to steady herself as I held on to her just as tightly.

But then the images suddenly stopped. Like a still lake, all was quiet in her mind. Alice looked up at me with wide, frightened eyes.

"Gone," she choked.

In that instant, I heard them. A multitude of voices filled my head—ones I had never heard before. They were something otherworldly, neither vampire nor human, as if they were echoing amongst themselves like a hive. I had no time to explain to the others, because in that moment, they knew too that our timing had been just a little off, that we were just too late.

The smell of earth and wet animal drifted through the trees like a haze. It was pungent, and I knew there was no way we could go without detection now. They would follow us, be too close, and the only way for us would be to separate. And that would be too dangerous.

"We are too late," Alice said, though this was not because she could see it. Her vision was as blank as the day the Quileutes had visited. It was terrifying to experience it firsthand. "I'm so sorry."

Questions bombarded me from all directions—_How many? How far? Where? What can we do?—_but my only concern was Bella. I pulled her close, needing her. My family had not fought for a long time, but we could manage ourselves so it be necessary. Bella had never seen anything like what might come to pass there, and one wrong move might mean I could lose her. They would not be lenient on her, despite the resemblance to Charlie Swan.

"What's going on, Edward?' she begged, searching my eyes for answers I couldn't give.

"We have company," I told her. "Stay close to me. No matter what, don't leave my side." I only hoped she listened.

Just as quickly as we'd been thrown off in chaos, we gathered together and readied ourselves for whatever was upon us.

"They are close," I whispered. "Seven, maybe eight of them. One mile to the northwest."

"Only eight? No big deal," Emmett whispered, but I heard the doubt in his voice. We were blind without Alice, and we had no idea what we were dealing with. Despite his jovial surety on the outside, he feared for us all. We knew only that these creatures were born to protect their land from us. Even though we were undoubtedly stronger, there was danger in dealing with them. We could be taken by surprise—we could be harmed. It was a potential threat that none of us, especially Emmett, wanted to take on. There was too much at stake.

"We should run, leave everything," Rose said. In her mind, she saw us fleeing, but then in the same moment, she wondered if we could truly outrun them. And what would happen if we couldn't.

"No," Carlisle said. "We can't now. Perhaps they are not looking for a fight. We are only assuming." Behind his spoken words he was saying a prayer. _Please, Lord, let no harm come to my family, whom I love…_

Everyone looked at me. I was listening to these intruders. Their collective thoughts were organized, as if they were a precision unit, born to battle.

"No. They are definitely not here on a social call this time."

The trees shifted and groaned agonizingly as they passed them. Their scent increased. It was like a weight on my chest. I could hear them now, one by one. They were focused, and they were coming for one thing.

I looked down at Bella, whose large, crimson eyes were watching me intently, as if _she_ could see inside _my_ mind. They were coming for her. This group of little more than children had every intention of finding her. Their thoughts were mixed about what the outcome would be in that—as a collective, they thought of nothing but death. But one or two were praying that Bella would not be here, that this visit would be futile.

"They are coming for you," I told her. "_Whatever_ you do, stay close. Don't leave me," I begged. I meant more than for her not to leave my side in that moment.

"We will not let them hurt you, dear. No matter what happens, we are together." Esme kissed Bella's head and squeezed into Carlisle's side, their fingers lacing together in silent love.

The wolves emerged from the trees, all spread out. They were large, so much so that they dwarfed the wolves from my families' memories. These wolves were not like their ancestors. They were giant like Clydesdales, looming over the earth like dangerous beasts. I could hear the surprise in all of our minds at these creatures.

"Well, damn," Emmett whistled.

It was as if the world slowed. They stood for a moment, taking in the eight of us. As a collective, they roared in anger, each one of them finding Bella, standing close behind me. There was seething anger, desperate angst, real physical pain in their minds. It was a blow to their long-standing ancestry, a failure on their part. Some of them howled and pounded the ground with their giant paws, the trees shaking from the force of it. They mewled and whined and begged their leader for retribution. They saw nothing but our destruction, and they imagined our bodies strewn across the lawn, pyres of smoke blackening the skies with our ashes. Bella's too.

But then, one lone boy emerged from behind them, coming to a stop just outside the line of the trees. This one was not a wolf. His face was young, no older than sixteen, I guessed, but his body was that of a man. It took me a moment to recognize him, as he looked so much different than what I'd seen in Bella's picture.

"Jacob," Bella whispered behind me, her voice not hiding her surprise and fear and regret. She recognized the fact that we were standing on very different ground from her once-friend. She recognized that she didn't share all his secrets as she had perhaps once thought.

Even from so far away, he heard her. It took him just a second to recognize the difference in her melody, the way her voice sounded like the sweetest music now. I saw images of her in his head, alive, warm, heart beating. And he imagined that it was beating for him. He imagined that when she touched his arm in his memory, she was showing quiet love for him. He saw her, soft and glowing in the sunlight, as they talked and laughed and he fell in love with her. And I felt the agony of seeing her like this, standing with us, cold and pale and lifeless. Dead.

The pain that radiated from him staggered me—not only from the fact that it had already affected Jasper so, but because his pain was so acute. This boy thought that he knew what it was like to lose the only thing his heart beat for. I couldn't believe we feared the same thing.

"No," he choked, his voice strangled. There was no hope in him now.

It happened quickly then. His pain morphed him, his body exploding with the red-hot anger that he felt for us, limbs and fur and claws shifting. He steadied himself for a second, and then his voice rang strong with blinding fury. The transformation surprised us all, but I was not surprised by their minds.

_That's it then, _he told them_._

_Kill them_, the collective echoed. _Destroy them all._

They rushed forward together, their bodies moving in tandem towards us. We braced ourselves.

Even without Alice's vision, I foresaw our end, and I only prayed that there was a heaven waiting for us.

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**End Notes: **First of all, I'd like to give all of my readers a sincere apology for taking so long. This past year has seen my life completely flip and turn upside-down (I think I just had a Fresh Prince moment…) and I am so grateful that there are those of you who are still willing to read this story. I won't bore you with the details, but I hope that you will continue with me despite my hiatus.

I also want to thank you. To the old readers who have found the story again and have been an inspiration, and to the new ones, whose recent, wonderful comments managed to wake my butt up and remind me that there are those of you out there who would still like to know where I planned to take these guys all along. So thanks. More than you could ever imagine.

I can't promise that I will update every single week on the nose, but I have been working on the story these last few weeks, and I have a buffer set up. The next few chapters are well on their way to being done, allowing me some leeway. I can't tell you I have a schedule set up, but I will promise I won't abandon this story.

So, thanks, sorry, and there's more to come—be on the lookout! Leave me a message/review if you are so inclined. All my love to you guys!


	15. Chapter 15: One Last Breathless Moment

**Author's Note:** Wow… just… WOW! Thank you guys so much for the warm, encouraging welcome back. I am honored and so grateful to you guys for still wanting to read even after all this time. Thanks a bunch.

I had to laugh, because everyone has been so worried about the cliffie, and this impending chapter. Like you guys have to worry! Didn't I promise you a HEA? Well, if not, I'm promising it now. It's not necessarily going to be pretty the whole time—in fact, they are going to have some difficult, adult things to face—but it will come. Don't worry, though, we still have LOTS more left of this. From my calculations right now, it looks like we're a little over half way there. Good? Good.

I do want to clarify something from the last chapter. At the end, it was NOT Jake that was saying "KILL them! Kill them all!" It was the collective of wolves, the large group of them that Edward heard. Jake was the one that resigned himself to their fate, and then the group (not all, just the hum of the angrier ones) said that. Jake is…well, you'll see. I know there were some out there that were confused. Sorry about that.

So, without further ado…

**Chapter 15: Playlist Song: Possibility, by Lykke Li**

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 15: One Last Breathless Moment of Waiting**

Sometimes, there is a single, solitary moment, before one dies, of absolute clarity. It lasts less than a breath, but it feels like it stretches for an eon. In it, time seems to stand still, and the world around you ceases to have any meaning. For humans, they refer to it as "seeing your life flash before your eyes." Pictures of what you have and are and would have become invade your senses, and it is as if you are living it in that moment, despite the fact that you never will.

In vampires, that moment can happen more than once. The first time it happens is the fraction of a second before your body rescinds itself to your vampire nature, when the last remaining bit of your human blood has been devoured by your new self. And then, your eyes open and everything becomes chaos again. _Controlled chaos_, but chaos, nonetheless.

I found out this night that it can happen again. All my hopes and fears and agony and joy nearly fell apart in front of me, just as it had at my transformation. But it wasn't the threat to my _own_ life that caused this singular flash, but the threat to the beautiful girl whose life I had ended.

When I later asked Carlisle about this, he told me that he believed it was the mated bond that caused it—that he had also felt it in moments where Esme had been in grave danger. It was the desperation of the moment that spurred it, the very real possibility that the only thing that held you to the earth may no longer exist on it.

I felt this shift in my psyche on this day. It slipped through my fingers, too fast for me to stop. _She_ was too much for me. It only took a few seconds, but it was almost enough to bring me to my knees.

The wolves' paws on the ground shook us, even from where we were almost two hundred yards away. They started forward in a slow trot, but as their collective minds buzzed with more and more anger, their pace increased until they were sprinting. No one needed translation from me as to what was going on in the minds of the giant wolves. We reacted in the blink of an eye, bracing ourselves for what was to come, so quickly that the human eye wouldn't have been able to see it. The moonlight shown down on the area where we would fight them, and I saw all too clearly where we might fall. Any one of us could make a mistake.

Jasper quickly rallied us, and we fell in line on either side of him, readying ourselves for the assault. I braced Bella behind me, preparing to do all I could to protect her. Though they were there to see her, it was not her fight. She was a casualty in this as much as anyone, and I would have done whatever I needed to do to make sure they didn't put a scratch on her. And they would not. Her presence behind my back grounded me, focused me.

But then she was gone.

I didn't understand the movement until she was in front of me, running with abandon at the line of galloping wolves. That moment, where heaven and earth and all around me were falling to pieces, caused me just enough pause that I couldn't react fast enough. Before I could stop her, she'd broken away and darted out of my reach, her newborn strength and speed giving her the advantage where I'd hesitated. I lunged for her, but she evaded me and I was left with nothing in my hands but air. Time ceased to have any meaning as she threw herself at the oncoming line of wolves.

"No!" she screamed with terror, her arms in front of her waving with recklessness. "Stop! No, no, no, NO!"

One wolf, a smaller grey one, was faster than the others, and took off far ahead of them. I could tell from the cadence of his mind that he was young and eager to show his prowess, and I knew he would reach Bella before I could. The greatest fear I had ever known threatened to overtake me, but I pushed forward.

"Bella!" I cried, the desperation in my voice so prevalent. I was watching the world crumble around me as she seemed to sacrifice herself. We rushed to her, my family members flanking me, but I knew I would not get to her in time. In only a few seconds, we would connect.

The wolves behind this young one were startled by her forwardness. Bella's movement, blurred to even their eyes, surprised the others, and they faltered just a fraction. But the young one was not thrown off his course. In that moment, she slammed into the small wolf with her tiny shoulder, and sent him reeling through the air. The combination of his ignorance and her newborn strength was enough to throw him back to his brothers—he'd been fully unprepared for her vampire nature. He tumbled toward the side and landed with a thud on the earth. One of the wolves halted and went to his side.

"Stop!" she screamed again, and planted her feet into the ground. They were all nearly upon her, only a handful of meters at this point, but their distraction of her so easily moving one of them slowed them more. Where they had been running full speed before, they began to slow as a few of them realized the sudden danger. They were unprepared for it, and I heard the fear and confusion in their heads for their thrown brother. She stood, her arms spread out between us, as if she were able to stop both sides with just her palms.

"Please, Jacob!" she bellowed once again. "Please, don't!"

I felt more than heard the way Jacob begged his pack to stop. He was still connected to her, still loved her despite the fact that his body and his pack were charging forward to kill her. And just that moment of pain and hesitation caused them to pause. They could feel it in him, the way their collective mind could hear and feel everything in all of them. They reared back, both out of obligation to Jacob Black, and out of fear for their own lives. This is not what they expected. Their anger had not subsided, but they now wondered if they were going about this the right way. Jacob's begging only intensified that.

Despite this development, I highly doubt they could have taken her down had they not stopped themselves.

It was as if everyone hit a forcefield. Bella continued to stay that way even after they hesitated, her arms extended as if she were pushing away from both sides, her eyes closed tightly and braced for impact. We continued to rush towards her, our momentum too much. I would not stop for anything until I had her safely with me again. We had full intent and expectation to collide with the wolves, as now, we were so close our movement and theirs was enough to propel us into the other.

But as we reached Bella, my family was thrown off course, stopped completely by some unknown force. It was as if they had simply hit a brick wall, like their will and bodies could push them forward no more. They stumbled back from her, faltering in ways I had never seen, almost tumbling. They were shocked, amazed confused. But it didn't affect me, and had I not seen it for myself, I'd have not believed it. I slammed into her, taking her down with me to the ground.

She stared up at me with wide, worried eyes. I was just relieved to feel her in my arms again. All in one piece.

_Jesus Christ, Edward_, Jasper growled in my mind. _What the _hell_ was _that_? _

I had no idea, but I was suddenly thankful that whatever it was, it existed. At least for now, I'd have a chance to figure all that out later.

The wolves stopped fully, amazed and fearful of what they'd just witnessed. Dazed and bewildered, my family members picked themselves up off the ground and the wolves danced in front of us. The two sides continued to growl and snarl at one another, but did not move towards one another. It was as if an invisible fault line existed between the two groups—a chasm that developed between them—causing them to stay their ground. Only Bella and I hovered between the two.

Despite the fact that the battle had been stalled, we still stood on the precipice. The wolves were still here out of their responsibility to their tribe, still eager for our deaths. They only hesitated out of fear and confusion. It would not last more than a moment before they regained their footing and figured out a new plan of action. They were already stirring, a few meters away. We didn't have long to try to reason with them, if it could be done at all. I pulled Bella up quickly to her feet as my family joined us.

Jacob jumped in front of his fellow wolves. It was he who had wanted to stop them, his desire to know what she was. A fleeting moment in his mind thought that perhaps she was still human of some kind, that maybe she wasn't one of us, despite the fact that he had recognized her red eyes and defined features. He would know soon enough that his hesitation was wrong. Bella took the opportunity to speak to him again.

"Jacob," she whispered again. "Please, don't do this. Please, just wait."

The wolves howled and bellowed their anger at us, but they did not come forward. Their minds were so confused. They'd all known her in their human lives, all had met this awkward girl whom one of their pack members loved. She was standing before them, and they were struggling with that fact, despite the fact that she was dead to them. They understood it all in theory, but seeing Bella before them, talking and pleading as she was, was too much for them. This was not some unknown vampire, but one who, at one time, they considered one of their own. They hardly knew how to proceed, especially now that the grandson of Ephraim Black was begging them with his mind to wait. Just wait, until he could tell for certain that she was everything he feared. The young one limped to join the rest of the pack.

They were no more than fifty feet from us now. My family was behind Bella and I. They all were watching us, taking us in. Some of them had only heard stories. This was more than they ever thought was possible in this world despite their own existence. This was their nightmare.

Bella pushed herself out of my arms and went closer to the wolf. I cursed and went with her. The wolf stood taller than her by a few feet, his fur a ruddy red. His coat was long and shaggy, where the others' was close to their skin. His eyes watched her closely, wary of her every movement. He took in her pale skin that shimmered in the moonlight, the red flush of her lips from the blood she'd had a mere hour or so ago, and the frightening crimson of her eyes. He noted how beautiful she looked, how toned and strong she was now. And he wished she still smelled like strawberries fresh on the vine and thunderstorms, rather than the nauseatingly sweet smell that he associated with our kind. Despite all this, he wanted to believe it a hoax, that she was still alive in this body.

It was hurting him that with each second, he was realizing the truth.

"Please, Jacob. It's me," Bella whispered. "Please don't do what you have come here to do." She took another step toward them, reaching her hand up to him. Though she was being tentative, I panicked.

"Bella," I begged, but she gave me a look of pleading, asking me to allow her this. I stepped forward with her, inch for inch. The position we were in was a precarious one at best. The giant wolf growled at me and warned with his mind for me to stay back. He would allow this creature who looked like Bella Swan a bit of freedom, but not me.

"I will not step back. I won't leave her for you to destroy right in front of me."

All of their minds registered surprise, and Jacob pondered not only the fact that I seemed to answer him, but the way that I was protecting her, the way my voice shook with emotion. The fact that I had seemed to answer him was not the point that he chose to focus on, but his brothers were honed in on it. This was not what he—or any of them—had expected. They had heard stories from their ancestors of our powers, but none of them believed them to be more than mere legends.

His eyes darted between us. Bella took another step towards him, her hand in front of her as if she were approaching a wounded animal. He bristled, warring with himself between his memories of Bella and this new creature in front of him.

_No, _his mind shouted.

"Bella," I said, stilling her, "wait. He's not ready for that."

His dog brow furrowed and he turned his attention to me.

_You can hear me. My thoughts. _It was not a question.

"I can."

The rest of the wolves growled, their anger splintering the air. They roared up, pawing the ground again out of fear and anger.

_Don't let them play with your mind, Jake. We need to take care of the problem. Now!_

Jacob was confused. The old legends circled in his mind, over and over. Their ancestors had been part of something like this too, but then, they hadn't witnessed evidence of our deceit. Were we like these vampires that his grandfather negotiated with? Or were we the _same_? He'd never known for sure—or wanted to believe it. And then there was Bella. What could they do but kill us for our crimes, but then, she was standing with us. In particular, me. That made him especially angry—blindingly furious, the way she seemed to protect me the way I protected her. He was lost.

The other members of the pack were not nearly as conflicted, despite all the things they'd already seen. They begged for him to end this, to do the job that they'd come to do. They were beginning to grow weary, even those that were fearful and unsure. He held them back on the false pretense of wanting to know more about us before making further plans to attack. In reality, however, he was still trying to stall. For her, or at least, the memory of her.

"Jake," Bella whispered fondly. "It's still me. I'm here."

My family had been watching the entire exchange with baited breath. They had never seen this before. I had to admit, it was one of the strangest things I'd ever been part of. The air was crackling with the emotions of all of us. Jasper could feel it, even in the wolves. He noted that fact, wondering how it was that Alice's visions didn't work, but he could still feel their emotions. It threw the theory that they weren't affected by our gifts right out the window.

They could tell we were all on the verge of something, though none of us knew what that might be.

_Edward_, Carlisle thought, _we need to do something._ _We are playing a dangerous game._

A slight, nearly-unperceivable nod to him indicated how right he was. I had no idea what that _something_ could be.

"You can speak to me," I told him, trying to open the lines of communication.

He wrinkled his nose in disgust, a very human-like expression that still seemed to translate to his animal self. He tossed it over in his mind while the rest of the wolves argued amongst themselves. I tried to relay the going-ons to my family who were bombarding me with their own thoughts.

_Edward, please tell them we mean them no harm. We can negotiate as we have before—this is a long-standing history of peace._

_Just ten minutes earlier._

_Damn it. _

_Careful Edward._

_Please, get Bella back._

Everyone was on edge. This exchange was taking too long. It was as if we were suspended in a moment, teetering on a very thin tightrope. Too far one way or the other, and there would be chaos. And of course, this moment could not last.

Jasper had never seen these types of beasts before, and his military background had him thinking tactically. He saw the holes in all of this so clearly, and it was difficult to ignore the reality of the situation. Jasper even hoped for some sort of peaceful resolution. If it came to a fight, there was too much at stake. One way or another, there would be loss. It didn't help any of us that Alice could see nothing, and the wolves were not indestructible.

The wolves spoke together, arguing silently.

_This is against everything we stand for! _

_Let's finish this._

_It's Bella! We have to listen, if nothing else than for Chief Swan._

_I want to rip into these bloodsuckers! _

_What she did to Seth, with just her shoulder—_

Jacob paced before them, ultimately creating a barrier between us and them. He was not ready to trust or understand us, but he did not want to fight us yet either. We were in a strange situation, both sides feeling vulnerable and edgy. To begin a fight now, where they had lost their momentum and element of surprise, was not wise for the wolves. They had seemingly underestimated our speed and, according to what they had seen from Bella, our strength. He wondered if we could all do what she had done to the little one whom he called Seth. _I_, apparently, had underestimated this boy.

The wolves argued amongst themselves, and he listened to their complaints.

Carlisle moved slowly, coming up beside me to place his hand on my shoulder.

"Son, what is going on?"

"They are debating," I told him. "Deciding what our fate will be, apparently." Jacob had been patient with my mind-reading, but now he roared at me.

_Get out of my head, you filthy bloodsucker! Don't mistake the fact that we are torn on this one as leniency for you. You are _nothing _but a corpse to me._

"I know it's not _me_ that gives you pause," I said. Both of us looked over at Bella. She had been so quiet for so long, but she had been listening and watching intently. Her eyes darted between us.

His and my thoughts were so parallel it frightened me. This little woman beside me held the key to my existence, and I hadn't even known it until a few weeks ago. He, too, felt that she was the reason for his life, but at the same time, there was no way for that anymore. Not that I could ever allow that. It was as if, at the moment in time where Bella became like me, our worlds collided, flipping in upon each other.

"If you are not comfortable with my speaking for you," I told him, "then change back as you were before."

He eyed me with a hateful glare and his gaze flickered back to Bella. I had believed he would not face us as a man because he did not want to make himself vulnerable, but as I saw it now in his mind, it was out of embarrassment that he did not want to shift. I saw what it was like for them to turn back into human, their clothing ripped off them during the change. He worried about that now.

Despite the fact that he and his wolf pack were trying to kill me and my family, I felt some sort of strange kinship with him. He thought he loved my Bella. He was wrong, of course, but it is all he knew.

"Emmett," I called. He rushed to my side so quickly that the wolves were startled and reared back a bit. Emmett was not concerned about appearances now. "Could you please go get a pair of your pants?" He didn't ask questions out loud, though he was a little confused.

_Didn't know we were doing a girly little clothes swap. Should I bring back some purses? _He laughed as he went. I was glad _someone_ was finding this amusing.

He returned in just a few seconds with a pair of his jeans that we had been planning to drop off at the donation center on the way out of town. I caught them easily when he threw them to me, and I tossed them to the ground in front of the giant, russet wolf. He bowed his head, met our eyes for a moment, and picked them up in his large mouth. He ordered the wolves—whom I was beginning to understand followed him completely—to stand their ground, and trotted off into the cover of the nearby trees.

Jacob Black returned, fur-free and sporting an angry scowl.

"You smell like death," he quipped. "Were these the pants you kicked the bucket in, Dracula?"

I couldn't help the brief smile that played on my face. Emmett laughed, his booming voice echoing off the trees. The other wolves were on high alert, especially now, and this put them even more on edge. It did not, however, seem to phase Jacob.

"You should smell yourself, dog," Emmett said from his place with Rose. "By the way, I _don't_ want those back."

I took a good look at the boy that I'd seen in Bella's picture, the one who had given her that dream catcher above her bed. He was not as he had once been when the picture was taken. Then, he looked younger, scrawnier, and awkward. He'd had little muscle and a fair amount of baby fat. Now, with his defined muscles and angry scowl, he looked like the epitome of vigilante justice. Fitting, I supposed. But how, in such a small amount of time that could be possible, even for this hybrid-human, was beyond me.

"Jacob," Bella said, and took a step towards him. I held firmly to her hand. His mind warred with all that he knew should have been happening. He wanted to sweep her of in his arms and swing her around in joy that they'd found her, but he knew that would not be possible. There was an immense amount of pain in his eyes as he shook his head _no._

"This impasse," he said to me, trying desperately to ignore Bella and the way we continued to cling to each other. "You are aware it's temporary, right?"

"We are aware," I told him. His face was set in a hard line, and he tried to keep his eyes on me. Every now and then, however, his gaze would flicker to Bella. That is when I saw how much he wished for things to be different, that he could stop what he was sure was about to happen.

Carlisle held out his hands in front of him, hoping the action would sooth their anger, and stepped out in front.

"There is no need for a fight," he said. "We mean you no harm."

Jacob snorted in disbelief. The wolves reacted, growling. They thought of Bella, saw her standing there before them as one of us—an abomination that needed to be destroyed, and the images of us rushing forward against them.

"Yeah," Jacob said. "'cause you haven't already done the worst thing you could possibly do?" His anger was growing with each passing second. "Enough of these bullshit games. You know why we are here. You had an agreement with our people at one time, but you've ruined it. As far as we're concerned you need to die. We will do what we have to do to protect our people. Even if it was too late for one." His voice wavered and cracked at the end.

"No!" Bella said, breaking away from me. Her eyes caught mine for a second as I reached out to her, and she shook her head. I would not let go of her though, and her hand found mine again. "No, please, Jake. You don't understand."

The wolves behind Jacob bristled at how close she got to him, but he wasn't afraid of her. He crossed his arms over his bare, muscled chest and he scowled at her. He was more focused on the lingering touch of her and my palms.

"You say that they broke this treaty, right?" She looked back at me quickly before she turned to her once friend again. "But they _didn't_. You're wrong. I don't see it that way. I mean, that's not what happened."

She steeled herself for a moment, closing her eyes tightly. She bit down on her lip and shook her head. Jacob watched her with rapt attention. He had always loved the way she bit her lip, the passion in her eyes when she spoke about something she loved. It dawned on him that she was doing that now, and his eyes found mine. The look of pain and regret and loathing hatred I saw there staggered me. Jacob's patience had worn thin. There was no more room for negotiations, and our time of stalling had come to an end. He no longer saw her as someone that he could save, and she was no longer the Bella he knew. No matter what ground they had lost, Jacob intended to finish this, even if doing so ended his own life.

But, then, Bella continued.

"_They_ didn't do this to me," she blurted quickly. This staggered Jacob, and he froze. "It wasn't them. That did this to me," she lied. "It was someone _else_—someone I didn't know. Edward found me this way, but…they saved me."

Everyone was confused for a moment, unable to process. _Bella lied_. And by doing so, she might have saved us all.

"You can't seriously expect me to believe that?" he said, but some part of him wanted to believe it, to believe that she would not willingly stay with something that had ended her life.

"I do. Because…" She looked back at me, down at our hands that were still joined, and squeezed. "Because, it's true. Edward _saved_ me."

Jacob laughed loudly, though there was no humor in it. Behind him, the wolves absorbed what they had heard, and a flash of someone—vampire—that I didn't know, coursed through their collaborative mind. The image was hazy, blurred as if in the midst of a sprint, and there was nothing discernible that I could tell, but it was no doubt vampire. They couldn't quite keep up with our speed, but their wolf eyes saw us differently than the humans. They could tell us from a distance, and even in shade and dark, our skin held a sort of prismatic quality. To them, we looked like opaque crystal, regardless of whether or not the sun was shining on us.

This was no doubt a vampire that one of them had seen, but I couldn't pinpoint the time. Or the person.

"Look," she said, becoming more bold. "you can believe what you want, and if that means that you will fight me—_me_, Jacob Black—then I guess that means that you will have to do that. You will have to fight me, because I will stand by them. No matter what. But the fact of the matter is, If Edward wouldn't have come along and found me, I'd be too far gone to help now." She wasn't _exactly_ lying—a fact, I'm sure she knew and planned to utilize.

He watched her closely, trying desperately to understand it all. There was still hatred there, directed mainly at me because of the way that I wouldn't let her go, but I saw now that there was no way he could have ever been the one to kill her. The rest of the pack members knew her, and would have hesitated, but Jacob Black could never destroy Bella Swan.

He turned to his pack. They already knew that they'd come for naught. There would be no battle. He turned back to me, knowing that I already knew that too.

"This isn't over, leech," he seethed. "I'll be back. And I _better_ get some answers. Remember our line, because if it's crossed again, there will be no hesitation."

With one final, longing glance toward Bella, he burst out, fur flying. The command was given, and the eight of us were standing alone in the moonlight.

* * *

"We should get the hell out of here," Rose said. "Right now."

We were back inside now. Our impending leave had been stalled for the moment, I feared. It wasn't that I didn't want to leave—the image of Alice's vision of Bella and me kept dancing in my mind. But I thought that as much as the tribe needed to know, so did we.

"I agree," said Jasper. Alice was still without visions, even now that the pack was gone. We still didn't know the cause of their disappearance, but I wondered if she might ever get them back. There were more and more instances now where she was without sight, and that didn't feel right.

"No," I said. "It was an act of good faith on their part to let tonight rest. They want answers, and unfortunately, I think they deserve them."

"Yeah, okay," Emmett laugh. "Let's play ball with the dogs for a while."

"Edward," Esme said, "What happened out there?"

"Jacob seems to be their leader," I told them. "There was no way he was going to be able to kill Bella, especially with her little web that she's now weaved."

We all looked at her, and she smiled sheepishly.

"It wasn't _all_ a lie," she said in her defense. "Besides, it seemed to have helped stop whatever that was out there."

Rose snorted, and Emmett laughed. He came over and picked her up.

"That's our little Bella. Peace-maker and wolf-trainer extraordinaire!"

"Edward," Carlisle said, "What is it they want answers about exactly? As of now, I must agree with Rose and Jasper. Perhaps it is best if we just sever ties. It's what we'd intended." He had been unusually quiet, thinking only of his family and how close he had been to the possibility of losing us. We had no idea what the wolves were capable of, but they were born to protect their people from vampires. We couldn't afford to underestimate them as they'd seemed to do with us. Carlisle looked over at Bella and sighed. "I regret what has happened here tonight."

"I do too," I told him. I wished I could take Bella far away from this half-human man-child who was still too fond of her. "But I think, from what I saw, we might want to know what's going on too."

I told them about the image I saw in the wolves minds. No one had been aware of any vampires around the area lately, even Alice. Like me, a few family members wondered if there was more to it.

"Maybe you couldn't see them," Esme said to Alice, "because they were on the wolves land. Maybe it has all to do with them. We've had a lot of run-ins with them lately." She rubbed her back. Alice was still distraught.

"I don't know. I saw Emmett and Edward that time that _they_ got close to the line. That had to do with them, but my vision was crystal clear."

"Just a nomad, I'm sure," Rose said. "Why would Alice see that?"

"Their presence would have been a disruption, a danger to the humans and us, alike," Carlisle said. His mind was beginning to go the direction mine had already gone.

"It doesn't add up," I said. "There were no deaths, no one missing, besides Bella. To the Quileutes, perhaps it makes sense now from hearing Bella's fabricated version of things—they likely think it could be this vampire that they have memories of that killed Bella—but I am not entirely positive that there isn't more to this than we are seeing. We know better about Bella's transformation, so what could be the reason for this vampire to be here, besides to kill? Unfortunately, with Alice's visions all scrambled, we are going in blind here."

"Maybe they weren't thirsty." Esme was trying to ease Alice, but even she saw the holes in her own argument. Vampires who fed off of humans also killed for sport, thirst or no thirst.

"Carlisle," Jasper interjected, "who else knows about the treaty line? Maybe it was a matter of playing with them."

"Tanya and the rest of her family, of course," he said. "But for the very fact that the treaty line was crossed without seeming knowledge, it could very well be a nomad. That doesn't explain why they were here, though, if not to hunt."

"I wouldn't, personally, hunt on their land," Emmett said. "Did you _smell_ them? It's not appetizing."

"Or maybe," I said, "they weren't here to hunt. Maybe whoever it was knew _exactly_ what to do to make sure no one knew they were there."

"So what are you thinking then?"

"It could be a coincidence. It _could_ be. But what if it's not? This vampire –whoever it was—didn't hunt. Esme's right—there were no disappearances besides Bella. They didn't hunt and they crossed the treaty line, which alerted the wolves. But what if they weren't here for that? What if he knew how to make it so Alice couldn't see him?"

"Excellent," Rose said flatly. "Now we are working on conspiracy theories."

I ignored her, as did the rest of the family.

Everyone was thinking about what this could mean and they all had their own theories. A nomad would have been unaware of any kind of agreement, of course, but Alice should have seen a nomad. Carlisle had never told anyone directly about the Quileutes unique ability, besides the Denali coven—to do so would have been a death sentence for them—so this vampire shouldn't have known about a treaty line. Not that it made any sense anyway.

Thoughts were circling, back and forth about what this could mean, but I tuned most of it out. It was Carlisle whom I was watching and listening to with rapt attention. He was already thinking of the one person that would have certainly known how to dodge Alice's gift. It terrified me more than I cared for.

_Aro._

Carlisle's eyes locked with mine, wide and worried. If Aro had been here, trying to avoid Alice's sight, there was a very real possibility that we were in more trouble than we'd bargained for. We needed more information…and fast.

I'd never met him in person, as Carlisle had always tried to protect his family from him and the rest of the Volturi, but I knew from Carlisle's mind how dangerous he could be for us. What Carlisle feared most was that Aro might want what he saw as a prize—me for my abilities, and Alice for hers.

I looked over at Bella, the strange and beautiful creature that had just somehow stopped a line of oncoming vampires with the palm of her hand and whose mind I could not read.

_He'd want her, too. Whatever she was, he'd want her._

It was evident that as much as the Quileutes wanted answers, we needed some for ourselves. Though they added another level of complication to our lives, it was possible that they had inadvertently helped us. And we didn't even know we'd needed it.

There was much to consider. It seemed, right now, we had only to wait until Jacob's return. I was sure he wouldn't be able to wait too long to see Bella again. I wasn't sure how I felt about _that_.

My family was fearful. Carlisle and I didn't hide our speculations from them. They deserved to know too, but there was real fear in them now. Alice's visions were so uncertain at this point, and there was no way for us to know what to be prepared for. For the first time since we'd all been together, we could do nothing but wait and see.

I, too, was afraid, but not for myself. If the Volturi had gotten wind of Bella's existence, I didn't know if I could protect her. And if this day had been any indication, I didn't know if I could do that regardless. Truthfully, I was angry—at myself, at the world…and at Bella.

With no regard for herself, she'd thrown herself into the line of fire. The fact that everything had worked out fine wasn't the issue. She had no idea what it would have done to me to see her fall at the hands of those beasts. I would not have survived.

As we broke apart, waiting for the wolves to come back, I stepped away to what had been my room, needing the space. I was feeling lost, frightened, broken. I loved her, but I hated what she'd done. I missed her as I sat alone, pondering. But still, I needed the few moments away from her. I was confused by the conflicting emotions inside me.

I knew the moment before she entered the room—I always knew where she was at all times. But I didn't turn to look at her, even when she came up beside me and put her hand on my crossed arms. She sighed.

"You're angry with me," she whispered. When I didn't respond, she sighed again. "I'm sorry, but what did you expect me to do?"

"I _expect_ you to have a little more consideration for your own life. For _me_," I spat. I looked down at her, amazed how I could be so angry, but love her so much, all at the same time. Did she not understand that if she died, I would have gladly offered myself next?

"I lied, because I thought it was the best choice. It worked," she said.

I could only look at her incredulously. _That's_ what she thought I was mad about? Her mind was like a labyrinth I would never escape. If I could find a way in, that is. I couldn't help the answering laugh that was in no way funny.

"_That's_ what you think this is about?" I said, finally turning to her. I put my hand under her chin and made her look in my eyes. "That you _lied?_"

Apparently so, because she seemed shocked that I might be on another realm of thought entirely. I was trying so hard to contain my anger.

"Do you _not_ know what it would have done to me to see you torn apart by them? Do you _not_ know that, after _that_, I would have allowed them to tear _me_ apart right along with you? How could you think that it was okay for you to just leave me like that? Bella," I said, losing all my momentum. "How could you ask me to watch that?"

Her eyes softened and she looked down, though her face was still softly in my hands. The thought of it all was enough to back my anger off of her. I was exhausted from all of this.

"Oh."

We stood there for a long time, just _being_. My anger was gone, replaced with dread over the way things could have gone differently. I may have never seen her face again, felt her touch if even the wind had shifted. I closed my eyes, trying to block it all out.

"You can't ever do that to me again, Bella," I whispered. "I know that you are the type of person that wants to support everyone, it seems to be in your nature, but if anything ever happened to you…" I couldn't even finish the sentence. I couldn't even face that thought again, knowing that I'd come so close to it just a short time ago. "You just _can't_."

She placed her hand on my cheek, forcing me to look at her.

"Never again," she vowed. "I swear it."

I don't know how long we stayed that way. I allowed myself that short while of respite, before we went back to face the world again. Together. One conspiracy theory at a time.

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**End Notes: **So there you go! The plot thickens… I told you I wouldn't make you wait too long. I'm getting so excited about this next portion of the story. SO excited!

I know there were a lot of theories and speculations and questions brought up in this chapter, so if you have any questions for me, or need some clarification, I'll be happy to try and answer your questions. Many will be answered in the following chapters, though.

Thanks so much for reading, guys! Love you all! See you next time!


	16. Chapter 16: Too Many Questions

**Author's Note:** Hello all! Thank you so much for the warm response to the last chapter! Most of you were very pleased that the Cullens made it out of that tense moment unscathed! Thanks Bella! The almost-fight had me worried.

Expect updates about every week and a half to two weeks as we progress. Should that change, I'll let you know, but I'll try to maintain that for a while.

Not much else to say. Just a great big thank you! On to chapter 16.

**Chapter 16 Playlist Song: Always Midnight, by Pat Monahan**

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 16: Too Many Questions, Not Enough Time**

Jacob returned, true to his word. This time, however, he was human, and fully clothed—a fact I was thankful for. It was not without great effort on his part that he managed to be civil.

We were still enemy number one, after all.

He arrived at the house later that day—early Sunday afternoon; the day was dull like so many of them in Forks. He came up to the house, rang the doorbell awkwardly, and waited until we answered the door. It was almost as if he was our guest, but he wouldn't have been there if it wasn't a necessity, and neither would we.

We'd put our leaving on hiatus, but once we all got the answers we sought, we'd be gone.

We knew that he was coming—not from Alice, of course, but for the fact that the wolves were once again upon us. They stayed away, gave him his distance to speak with us face to face as he'd commanded, but they were there, hidden in the woods, waiting for him to return. Even from so far away, I knew that they were hesitant to allow him so much space. They were right, of course, because if we wanted him dead now, they would not make it to him in time. The fact that he kept them away showed us an act of good faith. Or immense stupidity.

Bella was anxious, the moment we knew he was coming back. She paced, worrying a track into the floor. I stilled her, grasping her hand as she walked by and pulling her into my side.

"It will be alright," I whispered. She looked up at me, a frightened look on her face. As always, I wondered what she could possibly be worried about. Of course, she wasn't _nearly_ this terrified when she was running head-first into a line of shapeshifters! The thought of her keeping secrets from me drove me mad.

Esme let Jacob in, the perfect host to him. She offered him a seat, which he declined. His mind was wary but focused, and while he had a few snide comments that drifted through his thoughts, he managed to concentrate on the task at hand. It didn't take him long, however, to notice the state of our house.

"You were planning on leaving?" Jacob said, eyeing the boxes and near-empty house. He was angry about this, saw it as some sort of deceit on our part—like we were stealing Bella away, and the evidence of her murder, in the darkness of the night. It wasn't necessary to tell my family about his escalating annoyance, because it was obvious. "Guess that didn't work out for you, huh?"

I was about to take the blame, but Bella beat me to it.

"It was me who decided it," Bella said, jumping in. "It's not fair to stay. For Charlie. Since I can't see him again. There's nothing left for me here."

His pain flashed clearly over his face. He thought about that fact—the fact that she was no longer connected to him, or felt the need to stay for him—but refused to dwell on it. In a moment, the hard edge was back in place over him, and he nodded. Outwardly he accepted it as the natural course, but he was still thinking about having our heads.

There was a sort of stillness that lingered in the air, like the moment between dreaming and waking, while no one spoke. Each one of us was watching him intently, ready for the moment when it all came crashing down upon us, and in turn, he was watching all of us. His eyes darted from each of us and back again, moving more quickly than I ever imagined a non-vampire could. He was aware of each of us, taking in each movement that we made and calculating what his response would be to it. His mind was on alert, ready for whatever we could throw at him. At least, he imagined that he was.

When his eyes landed on Bella, he faltered and lingered there. He tried to hide it, but I saw the desperation in his eyes at the same instant that I heard it in his head. He was warring with himself over the fact that Bella still looked like herself for the most part, but was something very different now. For all intents and purposes, she was his enemy. But when he looked at her, all he could see was the young woman she'd been. His heart was conflicted, so many emotions in his mind at once. He wanted to talk to her, see if she was the same girl he'd grown to love. He'd fully intended on that, planning to speak to her and find out her newest secrets. He'd come to get answers—for both himself and his tribe.

"I'm here," he said finally, his eyes landing on me, "so let's get this over with." There was strength in his stare, and his body gave no impression that he was frightened by us. I took a moment to look at him—_really_ look at him. His skin was deep and ruddy, a shade of copper that I could have never achieved even as a human. Long, straight black hair hung down just past his shoulders, though half of it was parted away from his face and secured at the nape of his neck. He was strong and tall, a few inches taller than even me. His body mass rivaled that of Emmett. He looked like a fighter, but his eyes were soft, like a boy's still. I could see the emotion of being here in the same place as Bella well in them. I imagined that most girls would fancy him, find him appealing in the way that woman were drawn to Emmett.

Fleetingly, I worried that Bella felt that while she'd been alive. If she could _still_ feel that.

I hazarded a glance over at her. She too was watching him closely. Her stance was cautious, though she looked like she wanted to run up and throw her arms around him. The sooner he was gone, the better I'd feel.

"Right," I said, stepping in between them and directing his attention to the task at hand. "We need to know more about that vampire that crossed onto your people's land."

This confused him. And angered him all at the same time.

"I'm not here for _you_. I have my own questions." He was so angry, in fact, that it was taking all his effort to stop his transformation. "Like, how about someone tells me—_in detail_—how you "came across" Bella."

"I told you," she said. "I was bitten by another vampire. I have no Idea who. When I was lying there, Edward came and found me. Brought me back here. I woke up, and they cared for me."

Bella was a terrible liar. Jacob Black wasn't buying it either.

"So you remember that you were bitten, but not by whom?" he said incredulously. She didn't speak, and his anger seemed to multiply as he became more and more confused by the words coming out of her mouth. As the silence stretched, he got more and more frustrated. "But then, you remember him coming to your aid, like some sick and twisted white knight?"

She only nodded. There were no words that she could have offered as more of a way of explanation. Jacob growled and threw his hands up into the air.

"Can't he speak for himself? _Any_ of them? I'm supposed to believe this, when you are the one filling in the blanks for me all the time?"

She sighed, and he was immediately regretful of the way he spoke to her. A memory of her, tired-looking and frail flitted through his mind, another time when he was trying to make her see sense. Had I not known from his mind that it was her, I might not have recognized her. My Bella was beautiful, sassy, full of life. This Bella from his memory was broken. At that time, in his memory, she was not the strong, capable young woman who I'd fallen in love with. I would have to remember to ask her about that later—or try to get him to bring it up somehow. He looked at the floor, like a little boy.

"Sorry," he grumbled apologetically.

She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation, stepping around me, and coming up to him.

"Stop it, Jacob Black!"

When he didn't look at her, she put her hand on his shoulder. To his credit, he only recoiled slightly in his mind, though the temperature of her skin frightened him. Bella, too, seemed taken aback by his incredible warmth, but managed to keep her hand there. Outside, the wolves began to howl softly and growl their protests, but he did not react to their angry, worrisome thoughts. He stared at her fingers, where they were touching him, and pondered the immense differences between them now. Anguish rushed through his mind over and over, but he fought it down and finally met her eyes. That, too, startled him all over again, but he managed to hold her gaze. Her eyes softened.

"Stop it, Jake," she whispered again.

This time, there was nothing angry about her tone, and it was meant only for him. I felt a moment of jaded jealousy spike through me. Jasper intervened.

_Let it go, Edward._

"This is ridiculous," Bella said, refocusing me. "It doesn't matter. _None_ of this"—she pointed to herself and to the rest of us—"or what you think we are? None of it matters."

"It matters to me," he said. His voice cracked, and he looked down at her, finally seeing—_feeling_—what she was. Her hand was now tight on his arm, her strength pressing into his flesh just a little too hard, and I was about to move in to help him. In a moment, she might have broken his arm. But he didn't need me. She recalculated the pressure and released him.

"I'm sorry," she said, finally taking her hand off him. "I'm sorry that you are in this position. I never wanted you to have to deal with this. But there are more important things. You need to listen."

"I can't ignore this, Bella!" He screamed, running his hands through his hair and yanking strands free of the tie at the back of his head. "I can't! God! This isn't just about the fact that you're like _them_"—his nose turned up at the idea—"it's more than that. How can I ignore the fact that you are _dead_? How can I ignore the fact that you are _with_ them? That you're not _alive _anymore? How do I look away, and just _accept_ that?

"They are my _family_, Jacob. Please." She was begging now. His body shook with his anger and regret, and I could tell from his disjointed thoughts that he was close to losing control. But he held the rest of the wolves at bay, commanding them to wait. We could all see the strength it was taking him to contain his emotions. Carlisle was about to step in.

_Edward_, Jasper warned. _I cannot keep this any longer. He's too volatile_. I nodded that I had heard him and recognized the threat. I wouldn't let him lose control, especially not so close to Bella. He had a lot going on inside of him.

"Bella, they are not your family! _I'm_ your family, _Charlie_ is your family. They are _not_ your family."

The effort to be angry with her, and then control his nature was taking its toll on him he was weary despite the adrenaline that was coursing through him.

"Knock it off," she whispered, stricken. He backed down, seeing how his words had hurt her, and while he didn't understand any of this, he was remorseful of the fact that he'd wounded her. He'd seen her look that way too many times. More memories of a wrecked and ruined girl filtered through his mind. They were only flashes, but I felt their weight poignantly.

I was immediately at her side. She looked up at me, an apologetic frown on her face, and I wondered how it was possible for her to feel sadness for _me_ at the words that were said. Our hands met and she laced her fingers through mine. Jacob was watching so closely, I feared this might be his last straw. He physically staggered seeing how she leaned into my shoulder. He hated me in that moment, not only for the fact that I was a vampire and so was Bella. He hated me now because I was a man.

He laughed unconvincingly, no humor in it, scoffing at the fact that he was stuck in his own personal hell. At that moment, he believed she was gone. This was not his Bella, soft and innocent, and warm. The Bella that he knew was gone. He was beginning to reconsider his being here for negotiations. He wanted nothing more than to take us all out, right here and now. Mostly, he wanted me gone. He envisioned taking me apart quite vividly.

"What, so do you have that thing where you start to like your captors, or something?" he spat.

"Stockholm syndrome," Emmett said abruptly. I shot him a look and muttered and expletive under my breath.

"Emmett!" Esme scolded, her motherly tendencies in full effect at Emmett's inappropriate intrusion.

"What? I was just trying to help." He rolled his eyes at me. "That what it's _called_."

Rose snorted. Alice snickered. As absurd as it was, however, it managed to defuse Jacob just a little. He was distracted by Emmett, and this was enough to turn down his anger just a bit. His murderous thoughts were just a little less violent, his anger ebbed just slightly. Bella shook her head and we all turned our attention back to Jacob.

"Oh…_kay_," Jacob said slowly. "Whatever it's called, it's fucked-up. This was a waste of time." Jacob turned, ready to leave. The wolves outside were already preparing for his return, formulating plans. Carlisle, who had been quiet for Bella's sake was unhappy with the way that everything had come to pass and was wondering if there was a way to salvage this ruined negotiation. Esme wished Bella and I were not faced with so much turmoil, and Jasper was trying to control both the situation and his wife, who was desperately still trying to see the future.

I wondered at that moment if it might ever be possible to come to some understanding, find out what was going on, and move on. I wasn't so sure.

"Jake, calm down." Bella stomped her foot and put her hands on her hips like a child. Her brow furrowed and she looked angry. I was constantly amazed by her exceptional control, but she looked agitated, and I didn't think it was a good idea.

He spun on her.

"Jesus, Bella! What the _hell_! What do you want me to _do_? You expect me to just look past what you are now? I'm _trying_! I _really_ am," he said, losing his steam. This whole thing was exhausting him. Between the back and forth with Bella, and the back and forth with himself, he was losing his fight. He just wanted all of it to be over.

Even if that meant her extinction.

"I am trying to see past the fact that you are now my enemy. I am trying to get over the fact that your skin is sparkly and your eyes are the color of blood. I am trying to figure out what to do about this, about the fact that I am never going to look at you the same way again," he said. He sighed and ran his hands over his face. "This wasn't supposed to be how it was. _You_ weren't supposed to be this way."

He imagined her then, older. It was not a perfect representation. In my vampire mind, I could calculate what she might have actually looked like as she aged, but his mind was seeing her as he'd imagined so many times: warm, breathing, glowing, round with pregnancy. With _his_ child. I'd never wanted for someone else's fantasy as much as I did in that moment—only, I wished it was me who could do that for her. But all that was an impossibility. After a long beat, Bella answered softly.

"Maybe, this is _exactly_ how it was meant to be," she whispered. He was taken aback, mortified. He couldn't look at her that way, couldn't see what she really was. He saw that she was not what he remembered, that she was all the things his nature fought against. But he didn't really see _her_. I think she recognized that. Bella sighed and squared her shoulders.

"I can't _make_ you accept me, Jacob Black. I can't _make_ you see past it all and know that deep down, I'm still that person that you think you knew. And I want to be good. Every moment I fight against what you think I am now. I can't make you understand that, but I hope—_pray_—that you can. You were my best friend, Jake. I want your friendship still, and I can hope that you will still want that too, but," she paused and looked at everyone until her eyes met mine, "this is where I need to—_want to_—be. If you can't get over that, if you can't see what we really are and how good they are, then you'll have to fight me."

Jacob wanted to believe everything she said, wanted to go back to the way things had been between them, but his genetics were standing in his way. His body was begging him to get this started. His heart was aching. His mind was confused. _You are not what they are,_ he thought. _Filth. Death._

"Their kind," he said, focusing only on Bella, "you are not like them."

_Monsters._

Now I was angry. While I agreed that Bella was too good to be like me—that she _wasn't_ what I was—he had no right to insult my family. I pushed forward and was halted by both my brothers' hands on my shoulders as they recognized my aggression. They were strong enough to hold me, but it was Bella's hand placed delicately on my abdomen that quieted my advance. I looked down at her. Jacob noticed.

"Well, hold on now, Bells. Looks like pansy-ass, pretty boy here wants to fight." He raised his eyebrows at me mockingly. "What are you going to do? Show me your loafer collection? _That_ will terrify me."

I laughed menacingly at his misjudgment. The wolves were cocky and arrogant, despite the fact that they had no idea what we could be capable of. They had all the physical qualifications, but when it came to practical application, the truth of the matter was that they had no idea what we could do. Their elders had taught them the lore, but not even the fundamentals of our kind. They were ill-equipped and uninformed. This was a dangerous kind of pride to have, and I wholeheartedly wanted to show him that.

"Do you want me to show you how terrifying I can be, mongrel?" I hissed darkly. For a moment he had the sense to look startled, but then he shook his head and smiled, mocking me once again. In his head, I saw how this whole exchange was driving him crazy. Between Bella and me and the rest of this, he could care less about what happened to him now. As long as he went down swinging. The wolves outside howled their rage.

"Bring it on. I'd like to see you tangle with me." He moved forward and I snarled. Then I heard Carlisle's voice in my head.

_Edward! Stop this. Be better than them!_

His tone was firm but understanding, a warning more than a command. I knew I should listen to him, but the red that I saw from this arrogant little pup's comments made me continue to growl and twist in my brother's arms. I was tired of this dance.

"Edward!" His voice was more forceful, more commanding this time. The sound of my name reverberating through the air halted me enough to listen as he silently continued.

_Do you want Bella to see this from you?_

Immediately, I calmed and looked down into her blazing red eyes. She was watching me intently. I softened and shook off Emmett and Jasper.

"Enough of this!" I hollered. "Time to make your decision, Black. You will either trust us enough to refrain from your attack, or you won't. We are tired of this. Your pack is tired of his. You don't have to believe us, but the fact of the matter is that you had a vampire on your land that was not one of us. Either you are with us or not, but the real danger to you and the humans here is out there. Not in here."

He watched me for a moment, weighing his options. He, too, was tired of this back and forth, the way he felt like he was torn in two. He looked at Bella, still not believing her side of things. But then, he could either live with what was already done, or he could destroy her. He knew there was only the one or the other, and as I'd already ascertained, he was not capable of the latter.

"Fine," he said, relenting. He was still hard and angry about everything, but even he could see the potential threat if there was something out there that he didn't completely understand.

"You don't have to like us," I told him. "Or me, to be more precise. Believe me, the feeling is reciprocated."

"Well that's reassuring, because I don't."

We seemed to be at an impasse…again. Jacob Black hated me, with all that was in him. His nature spoke to the fact that I was the enemy, and his feelings for Bella only helped to amplify it. But still, he loved Bella, despite what she'd become and as much as he wished against it, he knew that a fight with me and my family would mean a fight with her. She seemed hell-bent on supporting us, and she could very easily become collateral damage. He would listen to us for now, but even if Alice had her visions, there would be no telling whether or not that would last.

* * *

We set to work immediately, convening in our sparse dining room. It was impertinent if we wanted to maintain this temporary truce. Carlisle once again became the head of our home, taking back the reigns of our conversation with the Quileutes. We all agreed that it was a better idea—they could all see the tenuous line we were holding because of my "negotiations."

Jacob brought in two more of the wolves, the one named Sam, and a young one whose name I came to learn was Collin. Sam had been there the day that they visited the house to check on Bella's whereabouts, and I'd only assumed from all of my families memories that he was their leader. Perhaps he was hoping for the title before Jacob began his change. I couldn't be positive, though from his thoughts, it seemed he didn't always agree with Jacob's methods. Today had been a case in point for him.

Collin, however, was young, barely experienced as even a wolf, let alone a vampire hunter. His was the mind from whom the memory of the strange vampire came. Jacob brought him to see if he could help clarify the image. He was terrified. The only other time he'd been this close to a vampire had been the one from his memories.

"We appreciate your open mind," Carlisle said, watching the boys warily. We were all surrounding the large, unused dining table. My father sat at the head of the table, his usual place for family discussions. Not three days ago, it was where he was seated to discuss our leaving Forks. How quickly things shifted. "We understand how difficult it must be for you, and we are grateful for even the temporary reprieve. We have been discussing what my son saw in your minds, of this vampire who crossed the treaty line. We are worried about what this might mean."

Collin immediately began to relive that day, a time he would not soon forget. At first, the memory was just what I'd seen from the minds of the rest of the pack. It was hazy, to the point that it was difficult to determine who this might be—no one I knew personally. Male, I supposed. It was fast, only a flash but I knew there had to be more to it than that.

"Collin," I whispered slowly, trying not to frighten him even more, "you're doing very well. Can you try to remember the exact details? Think about how you were feeling, what you were seeing, how you knew this was a vampire on your land."

He'd obviously been prepared for the fact that I could read his mind, but the fact that he was experiencing it for himself startled him immensely. I could almost see the way he shook. To his credit, though, he pushed down the fear and tried his hardest to recall exactly what had happened that day.

_On patrol. Just started school. Hurried home to meet the rest of the pack. Really excited. Training exercise. Teamed up with Paul. Was goofing off. Teaching me the line. Paul heard a noise, told me to stay. Crystal. Black. Red eyes. Afraid._

Collin's mind was racing at the memories, and at first his ramblings were just that—words in his head that had no pictures. But then, the image seemed to take shape. It was as if he were playing it in slow motion for me.

The wolves had been on patrol, a training exercise for the newest members, Collin and Brady. They had divided themselves, trying to teach the young pack members exactly where the line was, so that should a vampire cross it, they would know. But they hadn't anticipated putting the knowledge to practical use yet, and in a moment of arrogance, the one called Paul left Collin. At just the wrong time, it seemed.

I saw it through the young wolf's eyes, just as he was seeing it that day. The breeze through the trees where he was felt cool against his fur, and rustled it, despite the way that the air still held the warmth of summer. Sunlight filtered through the canopy of the trees, and he watched the patterns dance on the trunks. He was bored. _When was Paul coming back?_

Out of the corner of his eye was the slightest movement. His senses that he'd only just received were instantly on alert, and the hair on the back of his neck bristled. He hunched, waiting. That's when he saw the blur, felt the presence of something sinister, smelled the thick sweetness as it floated through the air. He hunched down in absolute fear, pushing himself into the cover of the forest as quietly as he could.

The way the vampire moved certainly looked male. He was clothed in black, his hair covered with a hood—I couldn't see any real discernible features. A quick glance to the left revealed what appeared to be a youthful face, that of a younger boy, perhaps. Even younger than the wolf that had seen him. I saw the distinct flash of red eyes.

Collin had been petrified, he held his breath so that he wouldn't be detected. His mind was to afraid to even call out to the rest of the pack, though they already knew what was happening and were on their way. As he hid, leaves from the bush which he hid under obstructed part of his view. He saw the vampire and hunkered so low to the ground that his belly dragged through the earth and leaves there. The rest of the pack had not been close enough. They had not expected anything to come of this routine patrol through their land, which indicated to me that the vampire was moving with purpose. By the time the rest of the pack had come to the young wolf's location, they couldn't find the vampire he'd seen. Had his reaction time been a bit better—had he not been frozen solid with fear of his first glimpse of a vampire—he might have given them enough warning to catch him. I could feel the shame and disappointment in the recollection. The wolves had tried to find him, to pick up a trail, but couldn't. It was as if he simply disappeared.

From the memory, it didn't appear that the vampire knew he was even there. He was not too far to be detected by one of our kind, and I did not know how it was possible to ignore the stench that the young wolf gave off, but perhaps he didn't understand what it was. Perhaps it was because the wolf was so young that he didn't recognize the threat. Or perhaps, there were more important things about his visit that were distracting him. The vampire moved so quickly that he was a blur, but he paused a fraction of a second within sight to look around. Despite, there was no indication that he felt threatened. Obviously not a mind reader.

One thing was certain, he was not there to hunt.

"I suspect he was one of Aro's," I told Carlisle, who was watching me intently. I couldn't be positive. It was what we feared most.

"What did he look like?"

"Young," I told him. "A boy, for all intents and purposes. I couldn't get a good enough look at him to know for certain. He couldn't have been more than thirteen. But definitely not like us."

My father had not thought of the Volturi in a long time. He'd always tried to spare me those memories, despite the fact that his ones of Aro, and Caius, and Marcus, had crept in time to time. He never wanted me to know that life, never wanted me to fall prey to it. But he couldn't keep it from me always, and sometimes he'd had to let me see. He regretted having to do it now. It took him less than a moment to access the long-buried memories that he wished he didn't have. Immediately, I recognized the face from his thoughts.

_Alec_

"That's him," I said.

"Why Alec?" Carlisle whispered. "Why now?"

"Hi," Jacob said, waving his hand in the air and interrupting our quiet conversation. "You want to let us in? What the hell is going on? What do you know?"

My family was waiting to hear again what I'd seen as well. Though, they were used to the way that I conversed with Carlisle. My father sighed, coming around the table.

"The vampire that Collin saw was named Alec. He is a member of the Volturi guard, a dangerous group. Far more dangerous, in fact, than anything you could ever imagine. They are the rulers of our kind, and Aro, their master, is the most frightening of all. The fact that they were here at all—_any_ of them—is serious."

"Wait a minute," Jacob said. "So let me get this straight: You have rulers? And here I thought it was every bloodsucker for himself. Who would have known," he said sarcastically.

I ignored the deliberate put-down.

"Aro sees himself as the most supreme being," Carlisle told them. "This makes him incredibly dangerous, to both humans and vampires alike. When there is something that he wants, he won't stop until he has it. Nothing is above him as far as he's concerned. He wants something here."

My eyes drifted to Bella for a moment and the most poignant fear shot through me.

"Okay, so, why wouldn't Alice have seen that?" Rose asked. "There's something here he wants. They had to have decided at some point to send this Alec here to get it."

"I case you haven't noticed," Alice huffed, "I haven't been very reliable lately." Though she squared her shoulders, and held her head up high, there was real pain there. Alice didn't know how to _be _without her sight. I wished I could help her, but none of us knew what to do. There had to be something keeping Alice from seeing, and I was beginning to wonder if we'd been wrong about the wolves' involvement in it. What it could be, though, I didn't know for certain.

"Maybe, because it was on the wolves land, Alice couldn't," Esme offered. "Maybe what they want is there."

"But their being here would have affected us too," Emmett said.

"In Alice's defense," I said. "It didn't. We didn't even know until today."

"Was there anyone else with him?" Jasper asked. He knew of the Volturi from what Carlisle had told him, and from his experiences with Maria. Unfortunately, Alec likely didn't need escorts. He was…formidable.

"No, not that we are aware of," Jacob said. "though he wasn't the first we've seen. There was a group of them—four, maybe five months ago—that came through. A redhead, grungy blond. French guy. We didn't wait to ask questions. They were on our land, fought back. We took care of the problem. This one seemed different."

"Maybe he was here for the wolves," Emmett said. "Aro knows about them, huh?"

Carlisle shook his head.

"Aro knows loosely about my alliance with the Quileutes _people_—writes it off as our eccentric, unorthodox way of life—the fact _alone_ that we agreed not to hunt on your land. He didn't know specifics. I've never allowed that—never let him touch me to know for sure. If Caius were to find out even a rumor about wolves such as your kind, it would be very bad."

"No offense or anything," Jacob snorted. "but what do I care whether or not they know about us? Not _my_ ruler."

Carlisle smiled sadly.

"If the Volturi know about your existence," he said, "it's very dangerous. A death sentence, if you will. Caius wouldn't look too favorably on a large pack of wolves. He has a history with werewolves that make him anxious."

We all stewed on this, thinking to ourselves about what the presence of the Volturi guard member could mean. There were lots of theories. Perhaps they were here for the wolves. If that was the case, we'd stay to protect them. I'd send Bella away, and we'd honor our treaty. But then, what if they _weren't_. The notion that I was missing something was overwhelming.

"How long ago was this?" I asked Jacob and his pack members, my anxiety mounting by the moment. They exchanged looks.

"About four weeks ago," Sam said. "Just before Bella went missing."

Dread shot through me again. This revelation had me on edge. Bella had _lied_. _I_ had been the one to take her life. But the fact that one of the most dangerous members of the Volturi guard had been here at the same time that Bella had been changed was too coincidental for me to ignore. A sick feeling settled in my stomach. I instinctively pulled her to me.

"Carlisle," I whispered. His thoughts mirrored mine.

"Don't worry, Edward," he assured, though he himself was worried. "We'll protect her."

I looked down at the woman beside me. For all of this, she'd just sat back and watched, allowed it all to absorb. I was beginning to understand that it was her way of things. But as I looked at her, her eyes meeting mine in question, I worried that I'd been even more right about the danger that I'd put her in. Perhaps she had more to fear than just me.

There was something about Bella that was staggering, aside from the way I felt about her. In the field, when she'd set all of the family back and stopped the wolves, I imagined that there was more to her than just her shield. What if Eleazar had misread her? What if there was more to her than even we understood?

_And what if Aro knew it?_

I couldn't risk that, the idea that he might want her for his own personal collection staggered me. I prayed that Carlisle and I were dead wrong.

* * *

Jacob was relentless in his desire to speak with Bella. Alone. He wanted to see if he could determine on his own if she was lying, or if she might tell him something she would not say in front of me.

I had to laugh when he wondered if she was being coerced, forced against her will to say what we wanted her to say. As if I could make her do anything against her will!

I was hesitant to leave her—I would be lying to say I was gracious. In spite of our newest theories, it nearly broke me to let her be away from me. But she manipulated me, in the way that only she could.

"_Please_, Edward," she whispered. Her hands were in mine, and we were close together. Jacob was watching us, growing more impatient by the second. I was struggling with the fact that she even wanted to do this. She caught my eyes.

"_Please_. You let me give Charlie his closure. I think I need to do the same for Jake. We may need him, and if we want him to cooperate with us, I think _I'm_ the only one that can do it." I tried to look away but she wouldn't let me. I was acting like a sullen child, and I knew it. But I couldn't care less. She was _mine_—a feeling I had no right to. I pouted, sticking out my bottom lip. It made her giggle. The air around us crackled and relaxed all at the same time. She was my own personal enigma.

"I won't be far," I promised. I had every intention of staying close enough to be there in a moment if she needed me. I didn't think that he would hurt her, but I wouldn't risk anything.

"I'd be upset if you _were_ far," she told me. "I won't take too long."

I left her then, with him, who was scowling as I kissed her forehead and walked away. It angered him that I touched her like that, that he couldn't. I smiled with satisfaction as I walked away, giving them a shred of privacy. I would not be close enough to hear, but I would be close. I would never leave her.

* * *

"Jesus, Edward," Emmett complained. "You're going to give yourself a heart attack."

I was pacing in the woods, far enough that I couldn't make sense what they were saying. I was antsy, and Jasper and Emmett were keeping me company. I'd already broken off two trees at the trunk.

"You think they are done yet? I bet they are done. Do you think I should go back? I think I should go back." I wanted to return to her so badly. I was nearly crawling out of my skin in an effort to get back to her. It felt unnatural to leave her with the dog.

Emmett laughed at me and Jasper shook his head.

"Brother, you've got it so bad."

Emmett continued to tease me as we made our way back. When we reached the house I could tell that they were still talking. I was about to turn around, but their conversation caught my attention.

"So that's it? That Is all you can say?" He was angry, the tone of his voice giving no indication that he had any patience for this. I wondered how the conversation had led to this. "God damn it, Bella! He's a fucking monster! I don't believe what you've told me. Sorry. He's _dead_! Like, no heartbeat, like a door nail, should-be-six-feet-under kind of dead! And I think he killed _you_, no matter what you say."

"Stop it! He is not a monster! He did not kill me! That's not how it was. What do you _want_ from me? Would you rather I was gone?"

"Yes."

"You don't mean that," she whispered. I leaned in, though it wouldn't help me to hear anything more. I just wanted to be near her, my arms wrapped around her.

"Sometimes," he said, "I wonder if it wouldn't be easier. At least I would know you were somewhere better."

"You don't know _anything_, Jake. You can think whatever you want." Bella's voice was so hurt, so full of grief that I wanted to kill him, just for speaking that way to her. I was so close. But then, her mood changed. She was suddenly strong again, so sure of herself. "In fact, I'm done here. I'm done talking about this. You don't have to like what I'm telling you, but Edward—the rest of them—saved me."

"Bella, this is not salvation." I heard the resentment in his voice.

"It _is_ for me."

"I don't get you anymore."

"Maybe you never did," she whispered, so quietly, I wasn't sure if he even heard her.

* * *

I felt her in the doorway. The night air blew her scent past my nostrils, and I felt it fill my chest. My body cried out to rush to her, to use its power to pull her into me, to take comfort in her presence, and to bury myself in her and lose myself. But I could not do that, because Jacob was right. I was everything that he accused me of being. I bowed my head.

After Jacob had left with his brothers, unhappy but still willing to listen for the sake of his people, I hadn't gone to her. I should have—I already knew all the things Jacob accused me of—but the wind had left me at hearing someone else say them. It made them even more true.

Her touch surprised me. It was the most gentle touch I'd ever felt, and though our bodies were the same temperature, it burned on me. Her tiny fingers touched my forearm tenderly, making the hair on my arm stand like it was shocked. We had touched before, each one of them profound. But this was a different kind of touch. This was comforting and supportive, and it felt… different somehow.

I looked up at her, and her eyes were clouded with worry.

"He's right."

"He's not," she whispered. "I'm sorry you heard it, but he's not."

"Bella, I am everything that he said. I am a monster. I am a murderer—regardless of what you told him, I am what he says. And I don't deserve to even have the thought that you and I are anything similar. You have not seen what I've seen. You have not done what I've done, and for me to have condemned you to this life is the most vile of sins."

Her eyes shifted for a moment. I thought I saw a white-hot flash of anger in her eyes, but then it softened into the worry again. For me. Why was she always doing this for me?

"Please stop," she begged. With her newborn strength she turned me towards her. She was strong, but gentle. She was still touching me, and I watched her as she turned her attention to her hand, resting softly on my arm. Slowly, her hand snaked up, until her fingertips caressed the crook of my arm. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. Her fingernails raked the skin there as her fingers danced to some unheard melody. Then up further, until her fingertips were wrapped delicately around my bicep. She squeezed just faintly. We were both watching her hand intently.

"Please, Edward." It was a request. It was a promise. I looked her in the eyes, and I crumpled into her. Her hand dragged over my shoulder as her other hand found my empty one, and before I knew what was happening, her body was against mine. She tilted herself up gently so that her hand wrapped up from my shoulder behind my neck. I felt her little fingers wrap around my hair at the base of my neck.

Her other hand left mine, and traced over my chest, around my torso, until it was resting on my lower back. Her small frame was pushed tightly up against me—all of me—and instinctually, I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her up into me further, lifting her. I could feel her warm, soft lips near my collarbone as she tilted her head up to bury in the crook of my neck. She nuzzled her nose against my throat, and I felt a pull in the pit of my stomach.

"Please don't think that way," she continued to beg, murmuring under my chin. "Please know that you are _not_ a monster to me. That I have _never_ thought of you that way. That I _could _never. Please, Edward, I need you. I couldn't do any of this without you."

I just held her then, both loving the fact that she was here with me, and hating the fact that I had been the cause of most of her grief. Surely she saw that.

_Edward! _Alice screamed out in my mind, causing me to release Bella and pay attention. It seemed that Alice's visions were back in full force.

"Carlisle!"

She appeared in the doorway then, in the same spot that Bella had just been. Her eyes were wild from what she'd just seen. We all assembled in the living room, waiting on her. Though I'd already seen what frightened her. I held Bella close, willing Alice to be wrong.

"Alice, what did you see?" Carlisle urged.

"Edward was right," she said softly. "They are coming. Here. _Now_."

We didn't even have time to move before I heard them, their voices echoing in my own head. Out of the woods, three figures—two massive, expansive, and one small and strangely frightening—emerged. The muted light of day was fading to twilight, and the woods were still. Fog was settling in on the wooded lawn so that it felt ominous and eerie. Fireflies danced before them, but gave them berth as they passed. Their feet were covered with the black of their cloaks, so that they seemed to float across the earth.

We went out to meet them, but I tucked Bella behind me. There was no need for courtesies, no sense in sugar-coating the visit. We would not pretend their intentions for visiting were anything besides malevolent.

They stopped before us and stood still for a moment, before they reached up and pulled down there hoods. I stared straight onto the eyes from Carlisle's memories. The small one smiled maliciously.

"Hello, _Carlisle_," Alec hissed. "Aro has missed you."

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**End Notes:**

Dun-dun-DUN! Enter the Volturi! You guys didn't think I was going to let this story go by without bringing in some of the key bad-guys, did you? =0

Thank you everyone for reading. Hope you enjoyed!

Don't be too mad about the sorta-cliffie again. I will have the update coming your way within the next week and a half… and it's a GOOD one! =)

Thanks again!


	17. Chapter 17: A Vision Is Worth 1000

**Author's Note:** Hi, wonderful readers! Thank you so much for the very kind reviews from the last chapter. I apologize that I didn't get back to many of you. Epic failure on my part/my computer's part. My internet has been on the fritz for the last few weeks, and to save my life, I can't type well on my phone. So sorry. I'm hoping we won't have anymore trouble with it from here on out. =(

Some of you were excited for what is to come, some of you were scared.

A few quick things:

Many of you were angry about Jake. I agree that he came off quite abrasively. I always thought the Saga Jake was a bit selfish and naïve, and that he always failed to take Bella into consideration—he hurt her more than he should have. He's just a pup. Don't be hard on him, especially because he's more angry with himself for not "protecting" Bella. This is a Bella/ Edward story…and in MY story, she doesn't even think twice about Jake. I HATED that in the original.

Also, one reader was a little concerned about Bella's past and the secrets that she keeps. I want to assure you that Bella was NOT raped, nor will there be any of that. There will be immense heart-ache in this story—we are getting to the big girl pain soon—but Bella is a virgin, as she was in the Saga at this point. I hope that if you were uneasy about that, I have laid those worries to rest.

Finally, I am telling you right now: the Volturi are in this story. They suck (pardon the pun). And I think my Volturi are going to come across a bit more evil than they did in the Saga. Sorry. I know a lot of people didn't want all the added drama. All I can tell you is that their experiences with the Volturi are necessary to my story—to Edward and Bella's bond. It is the story I've always meant to tell, and I'm not trying to create more drama just for the sake of it. This is where my story began, actually, and I can't wait to get into it.

So, I am done now with that ridiculously long AN. I hope you enjoy this chapter… I think I promised a GOOD one? =)

**Chapter 17 Playlist Songs: **_**Black Sabbath**_, by Black Sabbath (first portion of the story) AND _**Full of Grace**_, by Sarah McLachlan (last portion of the story)

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 17: A Vision Is Worth A Thousand Bad Decisions **

"_Hello, _Carlisle_," Alec hissed. "Aro has missed you."_

The young vampire, whom I now recognized from the tribes memories, stood before us, a sly smile on his face. I saw in his head how smug he was, how he had us in an impossible situation from which we could not escape. He could see all the ways in which we were unprepared for it and he relished the fear and pain and confusion it caused. Beside him, his two goons looked equally as smug, smiling deviously at the way they had surprised us. Our backs were against the wall.

"Alec," my father said curtly, nodding towards him. The air around us was tenuous, each of us on high alert. We were ready, all of us hunched and coiled, for another impending fight. Jasper was trying to corral the emotions in the room, a mix of fear and excitement, hatred and sadness. Alice was picking up now on all the things she'd not had access to, all the decisions that were weighing out our futures. Emmett and Rose were bent low, growls ready in their throats. Everyone knew that this visit was a dangerous one. There was no such thing as a social visit for any member of the Volturi. I stood in front of Bella, my arms extended slightly to my side, ready for her should she choose to dart again. I wasn't going to let that happen.

"I can see that the rumors are true then," Alec said, rocking back on his heals and motioning toward Bella. "You've added another to your coven. Aro will be _very_ interested in this." There was as much surprise in his mind as there was in the rest of the family's—his was from the fact that it was true, while ours was from the knowledge that the Volturi already knew about Bella's transformation.

My father was doing an excellent job of masking his surprise and fear. He seemed stoic, a trait that I'd seen many times in my life from him. He was amazing at masking his true emotions, of which there were many. Especially now. I watched Carlisle as he watched Alec, this man-child who was thinking of nothing more than showing my Bella to Aro himself. I wanted to kill him right then and there. I knew exactly what would happen if Aro met her. He'd want her in a way that rivaled my own want for her, but in a very, very different way.

"I didn't know that my little family was the topic of conversation," Carlisle said calmly, almost warmly. He was trying his best to be amiable by treading lightly, trying to be hospitable despite the fact that he wanted to throw Alec out. Anything he said could be used against him in Alec's memory. He knew that. "I'm honored that Aro still thinks of me, but I'm afraid that there's not that much of interest about it."

Alec snorted his disgust at the use of the word family. I saw so clearly in his mind the way he despised it. Family meant nothing to him, not when his own had done nothing for him in his life. Despite his soft features and his youthful appearance, he was purely evil, his mind calculating and devilish. He hated simply being in our presence,_ us_, who spat upon the vampire way of life. We acted human, looked human, lived among the human when we could have been so much more. We were beneath him. Still, he was only following orders.

"I'm sure Aro will be pleased to know your… _family_ has grown then. He's extended an invitation for you and your family to come visit. At your earliest convenience, of course."

If it would have been possible for my father to blanch, he would have. This was his—_our_—worst fear realized. It was already too late to hope that they were just here to check up on us, to pray that this was simply a scouting party. An invitation was a command.

"I am honored, as I said, but I'm afraid that won't be possible. Please give him my thanks for his warm welcome, but I think it's prudent to remain here, for now. As my daughter is just learning how to control herself, I'm sure Aro would understand if we thought it best to stay."

At this, Alec lost his cool control. He seemed to rise then, his anger making him taller and more frightening. He would not attack—that would be against what Aro had ordered of him—but it was taking all of his effort to remain cordial to Carlisle. He was not used to being told no.

"And I think it would be _prudent_ of you to accept my master's offer! After all, it would be a pity for him to have to make the long trip here. Don't you agree?"

There was no doubt that should Aro have to travel to Forks, there would be hell to pay. Alec steadied himself and controlled his anger again, thinking how wonderful it would actually be for that to happen. But it wouldn't do him well to fail in this—not now. He'd have to return home with that news, and that was not the message he wanted to give.

"In any event, it seems as though you weren't planning on staying here anyway. It looks as though you were leaving soon. Surely you could make a small side trip. Aro has invited everyone, after all." He looked around the room at each of us, pausing on Alice and me. He was thinking how very much Aro would like to meet us, especially. He sneered with the knowledge that I could read his mind.

_You know that you have no choice, _he said, only to me.

He looked at Bella then, studied her with curiosity. She was standing at my side now, watching everything, her hand tightly grasping mine. In Alec's head, he was wondering what was so special about her, why his master cared at all about the fact that Carlisle had added another member to the coven that had all of the Volturi talking.

It was true that we were a large coven, the largest besides Aro and Marcus and Caius' coven. It was unusual for vampires to form together. More vampires meant more competition for kills. It wasn't necessary for us to group up—our speed and strength made it so that any foe was easily suppressed. The only reason that the Volturi could remain together was through the fake bonds that Aro's pet Chelsea created, and out of fear of retribution. Vampires like Aro and Marcus and Caius brought vampires together out of their thirst for power.

We represented a major threat to him, despite the fact that we had no interest in power. We had a great deal of what he wanted.

But Aro sent Alec on this "mission," and the boy himself had no real idea why. He only assumed it was because of the fact that our coven was growing, but he wasn't so sure. She didn't _look_ like anything special. His sister Jane, him, Renata even—_they_ were special. This girl before him, he thought, looked like nothing but a nuisance, another one of Carlisle Cullen's dregs of the vampire world, less than what was natural for our kind. She looked like nothing to him. Still, Aro had made it seem like it was the most important thing in the world, to bring Bella back to him so that he could see her for himself.

I didn't know how Aro knew about her—this alone frightened me—but the fact that Alec didn't know about any kind of gift was a bit of a comfort. At least there was a small chance that Aro didn't either. Perhaps it was true, then, that he only worried about our growing numbers.

"Why is it so important to him that we visit now?" Alice asked. She could clearly see him, awaiting Alec's return on bated breath. With Alice, Bella, and myself of course. She glanced at me quickly, and I nodded that I saw it.

Alec turned his attention to Alice, clearly annoyed at the flippant tone of her question. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"It is not anyone's business to ask _why_ of our master. Only to obey. I highly recommend it."

"We understand Aro's request," Carlisle said, trying desperately to calm the rest of the family, who were growing more tense by the moment. It was taking everything out of Jasper. "But, my daughter is in no condition to travel so far right now. She's only just begun to get control of her thirst. It is not an option to travel with her."

"Of course," one of the guards beside Alec mocked. "Wouldn't want her to slaughter a plane of humans. That would be such a _pity_." Alec and the other brute beside him chuckled, amused by our lifestyle.

"Don't be obtuse, Carlisle," Alec said, getting quickly back to the business at hand. "You know that Aro has extended a private flight for your visit. We do, after all, need to be discrete. The plane awaits us close to here. Santiago can fly as soon as you are ready."

There was nothing left to say, no more excuses. All the groundwork had been laid down ahead of time. They all knew that Carlisle would say no, that he would deny the request. Aro knew that well. And we did too, through all of this. The only inconspicuous way for Alec and the two guards to get here would have been on the Volturi's private jet, as it was the only way to guard against the light and the presence of humans. But we had tried—Carlisle had tried. We had played the game, and our hand had proven to be weaker than Aro's.

"Fine," Carlisle said, stepping forward to Alec and motioning toward the way they had come. I saw his plan, what he intended to do, and all the flaws in it. It was dangerous, fatal even. Esme reached to him, and he looked at her lovingly. With his eyes, he told her everything would be fine. Even though he didn't know that. "_I'll_ go to Aro."

_Edward, _he told me. _Don't you _dare _try to stop me. Please son._

"You know that wasn't the offer," Alec warned. "As pleased as Aro would be to see you again, Carlisle, he's especially interested in meeting the _rest_ of your family." His eyes focused on me. Then on Bella.

"I will be happy to visit with him first," Carlisle said, "as a show of my good will. Then, when Bella is ready to be amongst humans without fear of losing control, I will send for them. "

This was not Carlisle's real plan of course. Carlisle fully intended to go through with this, even though it might very well mean his life.

Alice's vision was horrific, beyond words. Carlisle would go to Aro. He would have no intention of lying to him once he got there. After all, there was nothing he could hide from Aro once he touched him. By then, we'd be far away, somewhere that Carlisle himself didn't know—he would count on me and Esme to lead us somewhere that he didn't know. He would never send for us. We would never go to him. Our lives would change immensely, never resting for too long, never being part of the world of humans again. But we would not be with _Aro_. We would not be forced as part of his guard.

_And Carlisle would be no more._

Because Aro's mercy would not extend so far as to let this rest. Even for Carlisle.

"_No!_" I yelled, the image of Carlisle on his knees before Aro too much to bear. The sound seemed so far away as it echoed through the evening air, bouncing off of trees. I had commanded the attention of the entire group, and now, besides Alice and Carlisle himself, their eyes were all trained on me. Alice was weeping with dry tears, the vision making her stagger as much as for me. Jasper pulled her to him, as confused as the rest of them. Only Esme could imagine what Alice and I had just seen—what Carlisle intended. My reaction just solidified the thought in her mind, and she choked back a sob.

_Edward, don't let him make me a widow._

"You _won't_ do this," I hissed at him. I let go of Bella, gently shifting her to Emmett and Rose, and approached my father, forcing him to look at me. "You _won't_ let this happen, just because you _think_ you should."

We were being carefully watched, but I didn't care.

"Edward—" Carlisle started.

"No," I spat. "You don't get to make that decision for us. For _Esme_. That isn't your choice to make. You may be my creator—my father—but it isn't you who gets to make that choice for the whole family. I won't let you."

The family began to understand the depth of Carlisle's plan. Esme was thankful for the intervention. Rose was beyond angry. Jasper seemed defeated. Alice had regained control. I looked at Bella, whose mind was still so quiet. Her eyes caught mine, and I could see that she too understood.

Carlisle sagged, his sadness evident on his face. He had hoped so badly that this would be a viable solution. Our whole existence as vampires, he had tried to shield us from Aro. He's succeeded until now. With his plan, he'd hoped it would end, that Aro would give up.

What he didn't understand that I could see so clearly was that he was not the key. While he and Aro always had a rivalry, Aro had never seen Carlisle as a threat. Carlisle was not Aro's catalyst. _I_ was—I was sure of it. I'd never met him, but I knew that the moment Carlisle added me, Aro took notice and had never let go of the possibility that Carlisle intended to overthrow him. Carlisle had been a friend of sorts to him, but now, as he seemed to acquire the talents that Aro coveted, he was more and more dangerous to him. It didn't matter to him that the reason for changing me had nothing to do with power. Aro knew nothing of love.

I didn't need to meet aro to know that he was a liar and a fake. I didn't need to read his mind to know what likely hovered in it. With each new vampire that Carlisle added to his "family," Aro wanted to understand more and more. But he never would. As Esme came and then Rose and then Emmett, Aro took notice more and more. He watched, sent someone to check every now and then. And then there was Alice and Jasper. Now with Bella, Aro began to wonder all over again. I knew that, without even hearing it for myself. It was the real reason that he had sent Alec and the two thugs. It was not until later that I found out how deeply Aro had succumbed to this infatuation.

Carlisle, with full regret, looked at each of the members of his family. He looked at Alice, who was more angry that she had to _see_ that vision, and Jasper, who'd come to respect him in a way that he never thought possible. There was Emmett, who fully embraced everything about the life he'd given him, never looking back. He saw Rose, who was seething with the knowledge that he'd made yet another decision for her. His eyes wandered to Bella, who he loved as much as any of us, and the regret that he might not have seen her grow, and her grow with _me_. He'd always wanted her for me. Now that I had her, he felt the pain that with his decision, he might have never seen me truly complete.

Then he looked at Esme, and lost complete control. If I'd never understood the bond between them before, I did now. A sob left his throat as he imagined leaving her, of her being left to deal with his passing. He imagined being in a place, any place, without her and how he would only feel like a shell, even if it was heaven. He thought about their separation and his mind turned blank, a complete void. Even simply seeing it, it was too much. I could only imagine what it would be like to leave Bella that way. I wobbled from it, right along with my father.

"You see, now," I told him. "That just doesn't work."

Alec, and his brutes beside him, were growing impatient, despite the fact that it all took just a few seconds.

"So then, it's _obviously_ settled. Carlisle, you and the rest of your family should plan on leaving as soon as possible." Alec would not be put down again, and he would not accept no. Aro wanted to see me, Alice, Bella. He would not take Carlisle alone. We were running out of options. But then, maybe not. I had a plan that was a bad one. I knew that as I planned it. It would put me—and Bella—in the way of Aro's hatred, bring us to the Volturi, but it would perhaps allow us our lives. He would not kill us, I could see that from the vision that was circling like wisps in Alice's mind. And perhaps, he would let us leave. I only hoped it all worked out the way I was thinking.

As I processed, the vision was clear.

"Edward!" Alice hissed. "How is _that_ any better?" I held up my hand to stop her, knowing that even as she said it, she saw that it _was_ better. Carlisle would not lose his life. We would live, and the rest of the family would be safe. There were still so many uncertains, but at least there would not be death.

But it was for the beautiful brunette that had shifted the whole axis of my world for whom I grieved.

I was about to give up so much—_everything_. I was about to forfeit any chance I ever had for Bella's love. I was about to send her to the lion's den—an act that would solidify the fact that I was not worthy of it in the first place. It seemed so stupid, when all I wanted was to protect her. My whole body cried out against my brain that this was not the way to protect the only thing that I lived for. My heart ached, because it was the _only_ way. To protect her, and protect all that we all held so dear, we had to do this. And even Alice couldn't argue.

I prayed that Bella's mind was as blank to Aro as it was to me. We needed to see, even though there were inherent risks. It was very possible it would all crumble in on me.

But I would sacrifice myself for her. That was a sacrifice I was willing to make. And Aro would take it. Because I wouldn't give him a chance to say no.

I looked over at Bella. She was watching me with wide eyes. Though I could not hear her inner thoughts as I could the rest of the family, there was understanding in her eyes. In the short time we'd had together, she'd begun to teach me so much. I thought I knew everything there was to know about the world, but I was beginning to understand that I knew nothing. I watched as she nodded her head. I wondered if she really understood what I was about to do.

"No," I said, turning toward Alec. "No more games. I know why you are here. I'll go."

I heard Bella's complaint, felt it in my whole body. She moved as if to come to me, but Emmett held her back. I could hear the tremor in her voice as she whispered my name, and it nearly broke me to be so far away from her. I wanted to go to her, hold her, tell her it would be okay and that I'd do everything to make it so. But I held my ground. Little did she know that I was even more of a monster now.

Alec smiled at me again. It sickened me. He chuckled.

"That's very presumptuous of you. What makes your offer any different?"

"You forget that I know exactly what Aro wants. You came here for her," I said, pointing to Bella. "Let's cut to the chase. Aro wants to see her for himself. Fine, he'll _see_ her. But I go with. Only me."

There were audible gasps throughout the room. Rose gripped Bella tightly, pulled her behind herself and growled while Emmett held his wife back from attacking me and shredding me to pieces at the suggestion. Esme whispered to herself for me and her newest daughter and Carlisle sighed with resignation. But they all knew, and they all understood, and despite the fact that they were angry about it, they knew that it may be the only way to appease him.

I looked over at Bella. She didn't look surprised, maybe even relieved. I didn't understand that. She was nodding, allowing this. It was as if she understood. As if, she willed it. Where she had been frightened before —distraught—at the thought of my going alone, now she seemed almost glad. I would never understand her, I thought.

Alec pondered this offer for a while. This was not what his master had commanded, of course. His gaze flickered to Alice. He'd hoped Alice would come too. Aro wanted her.

"No," I told him. "Just the two of us."

It only took him a moment to agree, reasoning that it would certainly be enough to appease his master. After all, Aro requested _Bella_. That had been the real mission. If he brought me too, the famed mind reader, Alec wouldn't have to _fear_ Aro.

_We_ would.

"Fine," he sighed. "I suppose if Aro wishes for more of an audience with them, he'll have means to…persuade them." His mind thought about the viciousness that his sister could command, and how news of Bella's and my torture would summon Carlisle and the rest of them. I had no intention of letting that happen though. I'd rip out her evil little throat before she did that to Bella.

"I require some time."

"No."

"Fine, then go home and tell Aro you failed."

"How much?"

I looked at Bella. _A millennium._

"Two hours," I said.

That was all that stood between us and the Volturi.

* * *

The moment Alec, Santiago, and Felix were out of earshot, the family descended on me. There were protests, angry words, and sadness, but there was no time for it. There was much that needed to be done before Bella and I left.

"Edward," my father whispered. "How could you do this? I would have taken your place."

"I know," I said, well aware of just how willing he'd been. "But this is how it had to be. Aro wants to see Bella for some reason. If Bella didn't go, Carlisle, he'd come here. That's not safe, especially with the wolves growing in numbers as it is. If you went without us," I paused, remembering the vision and shuttering from it. "Well, I couldn't let that happen. Besides, you know I wouldn't let her go alone. Hopefully this will be enough."

I glanced over at Bella. She'd been watching me carefully, not speaking. I hated myself all over again for what I'd done, but there was no accusation in her eyes. She nodded slightly—knowingly.

"Edward," Esme said taking me in her arms. "You don't have to do this alone. Please. We can help you. We can all go with you and Bella—help keep her safe."

"Esme's right," Rose chimed in. "Don't be such an idiot. There's power in numbers."

My family agreed, of course. Emmett wanted to help wherever he could, and was willing to be Bella's protector as surely as Santiago and Felix had been Alec's. Alice knew her visions could aid us. Carlisle knew Aro, and he wanted to be there to give me as much insight as he could—he hoped he could calm Aro enough to let us all go. Only Jasper agreed with me, seeing the tactical advantage of there being two of us, and wanting to protect Alice from Aro. At any cost.

"Not in this case," I told Rose. "Aro might see numbers as a huge threat. In this case, we're better off if it's only a few. And I can't let Alice go."

"That's foolish," Alice snapped. "You need me."

"I do—_we_ do," I told her, "but Aro covets you too, and the more of us there are, the more he has to use against each other. Bella and I will be enough to have to worry about."

She swore at me.

"So you want us to just sit back here and wait. I'll still _see_ it, you know, still have to _watch_ it! I'll be thousands of miles away, and I'll still have to see it play out when I can do nothing to help you!"

"I think they still have cell phone reception, Alice," I said gently.

"Jerk," she said sadly. "You'll actually have to answer your phone then."

She was thinking of my return home from Denali. But then, if I'd answered my phone, I wouldn't have Bella.

"Edward, I'm concerned," Carlisle said, his thoughts alit. "You know Aro only from my mind. I don't think I've ever explained what he's capable of. You and Bella—"

"I know, Carlisle. But that is, I think, where we'll have the advantage. I don't think he'll be able to read Bella. And I have no intention of letting him touch me. As far as I know, he doesn't know about her shield."

"He'll see that as a threat probably, you not letting him touch you." My father was thinking of all the way's he'd seen Aro react to that in the time he'd been in his presence. Vampires knew what Aro could do, and there had been times they had tried to keep him from touching them. Aro had reacted to their hesitance. It had never been with kindness and understanding.

"Don't worry, Carlisle," Jasper drawled. "I'd put money on the fact that even Aro will be able to feel just how pissed off Edward is."

"That is why I'm concerned," Carlisle whispered.

I looked around at my family, the ones I truly loved. Despite the fact that we fought, and that I'd always felt so apart from them at times, they really were my family. I prayed I'd see them again soon.

Finally, my gaze landed on Bella, who'd just been listening the whole time. They'd kept her close in the circle, but she had yet to pipe in—and it was _her_ life that we were discussing. She was watching me. Our eyes locked and I knew I needed to steal a few minutes with her, if for nothing more than to apologize. The kindness she'd given me in the short time she'd been with me—even if that was all it would ever be—was so much. I knew that whatever we did from this moment on, I wouldn't let her do it alone. It was likely a lot of suffering might come from this.

"I can't promise anything," I told them all, "but this is our best chance of this all passing us over. Just as a precaution, though, you might want to alert the wolves that this is happening."

* * *

We arrived at the meadow quickly, Bella on my tail the whole way. We hadn't spoken the whole run—there was no need. Both of us were lost in our own thoughts. When we arrived, we sat down and remembered all the times before, when we had so many less worries.

"I made this decision without you," I whispered to her. "Another one."

She sighed, like I was a small child who she had to keep admonishing.

"I know, but like the other decisions, there's no other way." She looked up at me and smiled sadly. "I don't know what you and Alice saw, but I know it was bad. It wasn't the right choice. I know that. This _is_. They would have come here, right? I wouldn't want that, not with Charlie in the woods looking for me. Besides, you know I wasn't going to let you go without me, right?"

We sat in silence for a few minutes, simply being. I'd failed her over and over again, and still she seemed to trust me. There was no end to her mercy. I feared that once she saw it all for her own eyes, however, she'd rethink her loyalty. We were about to enter into the belly of the beast. Into hell itself.

All this time, she'd only seen what I wanted her to see—only seen the façade of our lives that we created. It was all an act, a game. Our _real_ world—vampires and demons and our undead life—was so much darker. There would be no protecting her now, from death and blood and mayhem.

I wanted to remember this moment, savor it. Because I knew that even if we returned, neither of us would be the same.

Perhaps, if we returned at all, she would not be my Bella anymore.

I heard her soft sigh beside me, and not for the first or the last time, I wondered what occupied her mind. She seemed so accepting of all of this, even though she should have been angry. She seemed to be so in tune with my own thoughts, even though we hadn't said anything out loud.

"I had so hoped to see this place. Thriving and full of life," she whispered. Her voice carried on the wind of the night. Her eyes were trained across the expanse of the ground, looking out over the remains of our meadow. The flowers were gone for now, sleeping in the earth until the spring, but come May, the whole field would be full of wildflowers and tulips. When I'd told her, she'd been so excited to see them, so hopeful about what our future would bring. I had wanted nothing more than to lie in the tulips with her.

Even with our moving away, I'd wanted to bring her back here again someday. But there was an unspoken acknowledgement now that that may never be. There was a very real possibility that I would never bring her back to this place, that she would never see the way the meadow exploded with yellows and reds and purples. There was a chance that this would be the last time we were here, like this.

We might change.

The world might change.

But I was willing to lie to her.

"I promise," I told her, leaning over and placing my lips at her temple. "I will bring you back here soon. You will see them all."

I stood, and she looked up at me with soft, wide eyes. Time was running out. It was almost time for us to go, to meet Alec as I had promised. There was no turning back. I held out my hand to her, and she placed hers in it without question. I pulled her up, and she fell against me easily.

My whole life, I felt as if I was running away from what I was, and I did it alone. I _felt_ alone, even when I wasn't. But now, I was about to run towards this life, headfirst. This time, however, I wouldn't be doing it alone. The little woman in my arms, who'd given me so much to live for, was going to be at my side.

And even if she had no idea, I loved her so much for it. It was worth everything that she even existed. In that moment, I hoped she knew just how much I needed her.

I wanted her to remember it all, as it was. As it always should have been, had I not been the monster that Carlisle made me—and she the creature I'd made her.

For a moment, I imagined we were in our own little world where these things did not exist. For a moment, she was just a girl and I was just a guy, two teenagers who'd been dancing around each other, a slow burn that left me breathless. I wanted to remember her this way, innocent and sweet, who had not seen what she'd see soon enough. Who did not know what this world hid in the dark of the night.

The fall wind was whipping through the grasses, dull with the impending winter. Soon, they would be dead, brown and decaying, but now, they still held some life. They were practically _fighting_ for it.

If she was unhappy in my arms, in the way that I was holding her, she gave no indication.

I reached up, brushing the hair that ghosted over her face behind her ear. Delicately, I ran the back of my fingers up her cheek, loving the way her skin was so soft against my fingertips. She gasped slightly as I watched my hand, desperate for the memory of this. _This_, which may never happen again.

Her lips, the most perfect shade of blush parted, and I could feel nothing, see nothing, _taste_ nothing but her in the air between us. To hell with what was right, I reasoned, because in that moment, with her there in my arms in the only place that was just ours, I wanted to kiss her. Even if it was wrong.

I pulled her against me closer, weaving one hand through her hair, and wrapping her up with the other around her back so that she was nearly off the ground. Her eyes widened for just a moment, but there was no fear in them. Her little tongue darted out, wetting her lips with her own venom, and I knew she'd be so sweet. Just to taste her. _Just once_. Her eyes darted from my own eyes to my lips. She breathed in short, shallow breaths that pushed her breasts further and further up against me. I'd never seen her so beautiful.

It was wrong of me to want her, but still I held her. She sighed softly, and ran her own hands up and around me—one on the back of my neck and her fingers through my hair there, the other so that her hand was fisted in my shirt against my shoulder blade. She closed her eyes tightly and whimpered as I leaned in and ran my nose down hers.

I'd thought about this moment a million times, imagined what it would be like to touch my lips to hers. I wondered what she'd taste like and how she'd feel. No fantasy could compare the reality of kissing my Bella.

When I touched her soft lips with mine, I saw fireworks. My whole body trembled. I felt as if my heart began to beat again.

I was _alive_.

There was no fumbling or awkwardness, as I'd seen in the memories of so many first kisses. There was no inadequacy or hands trying to find purchase. It was as if she were made to kiss me, and I her—like we'd been doing it forever, but still for the first time. I didn't dream about ripping her clothes off as I was kissing her, because this was all I needed in that moment. It was all I _ever_ needed. She pulled herself up against me as her lips melded with mine, opening and closing together like the rhythm of the most beautiful dance. It was tender and gentle, sweet and fairly chaste, but not impassionate. Neither of us pushed it to be more. It was perfect just the way it was.

I moaned gently at the flavor of her. She was sweet like strawberries, warm and sugary like honey. I couldn't get enough of her lips, how soft and full they were against my own. She let me lead her, but pushed herself up against me so that I would pull her closer, keep her lips to mine. Her returning sigh was innocent, but needy and sexy all at once.

I could have kissed her there, in our meadow, the light breeze of autumn running over us, forever. I would have. But there were things that had to be done. The world around us continued on, though If this was to be my last moment ever, I would have been fine with it. Our lives would change in an instant—had already. We both knew it.

She broke the kiss first, our lips separating with a soft staccato. I felt her breath leave her shakily as her body softened against mine. I kept my eyes closed, savoring the way she felt in my arms, loving the way she let me kiss her without question. I rested my forehead against hers, and she ran her nose down mine, and her hand over my cheek. We sighed in unison. When I finally opened my eyes, she was looking up at me.

"We have to go," I whispered. Her forehead was still resting against mine.

"I know," she sighed. "Together?"

"Always," I promised.

"Always."

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**End Notes: **There you go… They kissed! Just before they head into hell. I really hope it was the kind of kiss you were hoping their first one would be. Not a complete declaration of love, YET, but at least Bella knows that Edward wants to kiss her. And she seemed to enjoy it too, right? =D

I just want to take the opportunity to thank each and everyone who has been reading the story. Even if you are just a reader who never reviews, I want you to know that you are very much appreciated too. I DO like when I get reviews, I'm not going to lie, because it really lets me know where you guys are coming from—what you see, how you feel about certain aspects of the story, your worries and fears about it, ect. It gives me a fresh perspective on something that I've had planned out in my own head for a long time. But even if you aren't reviewing, I still really appreciate it. Thank you to all!

Anyway, SUPER long notes from ME today! Take care, and I'll see you guys in about a week and a half!


	18. Chapter 18:When All Else Fails

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone! Hope you enjoyed that last chapters ending! Yay! Kissing!

Do you think Edward will take that to mean that they are officially a couple, or will he over-think it?

Largely, a transitional chapter here. Enjoy!

**Chapter 18 Playlist Song: **_No Sound But the Wind_, by Editors (I cringe at using _Twilight _songs from the movies, because I want to try and find my own song without the influence of the soundtracks, but the truth is, the lyrics are so, _so_ good for this chapter. So I'll suck it up and use it.)

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 18: When All Else Fails, Hold Your Breath**

The eleven hour flight from the grass landing strip just south of Forks to Volterra was strenuous at best. Bella sat beside me, her hands wringing in her lap like a nervous human. We didn't communicate—it was best that way in the presence of the guard—as much as I wanted to do nothing but touch her. Hold her. Kiss her. Love her.

The small vampire beside me worried her fingers some more, the sound of it making the lightest _brush, brush_ against her denim-clad legs. I wanted to reach out and take her hand in mine, offering her relief where there was no real comfort, but we were being closely watched. Alec's eyes were careful and calculating, and he did not turn away from us since we arrived to see their plane waiting. Bella and I had managed to keep a careful distance, to show nonchalance in front of the Volturi. We'd discussed it before we left the house to go to the meadow, and I think she understood the reasons. At least, she seemed to be playing her part well. That is, if she even wanted my comfort in the first place.

We hadn't said much after that kiss, and I didn't know if she'd allowed it because she had those same feelings stirring in her, or if she'd only done it in the fear of the coming events. My mind was working to take it all in—remembering, cherishing, breaking it all down. Each touch, each sigh, I was analyzing and obsessing over. I didn't know when the next time Bella would be in my arms. Hell, I didn't even know when the next time we would be alone was. I didn't know if it would ever happen again. Maybe we'd never get the chance. But I needed to ask her about it. We needed to talk about what had occurred. Unfortunately, now was not the time, locked thirty-five thousand feet in the air with those that might very well be our greatest enemy.

The inside of the plane was luxurious, ostentatious. The seats—deep, plush bucket seats and long sofa's that ran down the cabin—were crème and the paneling was a rich mahogany that accented them. Despite the fact that vampires required no sort of comforts, the plane had been designed to offer them. There were throw pillows and a wet bar, crystal goblets. All the finer things that mattered to the wealthy. The Volturi's low profile, apparently, only existed on their terms.

Alec watched her with confusion, disgust, and what appeared to be cool indifference. His mind was calculating, cruel, but careful, too. He was hiding his thoughts from me as much as possible, in a way that made me both respect and fear him. He was very skilled at it. There were moments, though, where I caught the true tenor of his thoughts. He didn't understand the purpose of this mission.

Alec was sitting directly across from us, his back straight. He barely moved, his eyes the only thing that seemed to have any life, blood-drenched and alert. But his mind was also racing, trying—still—to figure out the appeal of us. Why his master would care so much about our presence, he had no idea. I hazarded a glance at Bella. She met my eyes and smiled slightly, though I could see the real trepidation in them. Now that we were on our way there was no turning back.

She'd been so strong—_still_ was—but the closer we got to Italy, the more I worried. The air in the cabin was tense, and the eyes upon us felt like a cage that held us. I knew immediately: we were not free.

Santiago was flying the plane, his mind clear and unassuming. He thought little of us, only concentrating on the task at hand. It had been the same back at the house, and I listened closely to him to see if he had any more insight to Aro's mission. I guessed not. Santiago was nothing to the Volturi—no powers, no real appeal aside from his large presence and unwavering loyalty. His only connection to them was because of Chelsea. Without her gift of tying him to the Volturi rulers, he might not have been part of the guard. His tie to them was _loyal_, but mostly because of her. It seemed that he didn't do this kind of task very often. Perhaps that is why he was chosen. Alec was keep out of the loop. Surely that meant Aro didn't want me to know something. I realized that we were playing into his hand perfectly.

Felix was at the front of the plane near the cockpit, reclining in a seat that was facing us, reading the days edition of the _New York Times_. Like Santiago, he seemed to have little insight into our situation, only that he was told to come with Alec, and provide brute strength should he require it as back-up. There was not much more to it than that. He was strong, big, but not nearly as mentally focused as Santiago, or as calculating as Alec. "_Meathead"_ came to mind. Though his mental capacities were more attuned than that of the average human, it was clear from his thoughts that Aro did not keep him around for his mental prowess. He was strong, angry, vicious, and willing to do whatever it took to complete his tasks—even if that meant brutality and sadism. He was Volturi, after all. He would follow orders to a T, without question, and with haste.

Alec smiled evilly as I turned my attention back to him. His eyes gleamed like rubies.

"You are in for a real treat, I think," he said. "Aro will be pleased you've decided to join us."

I ignored him. I wouldn't give him the pleasure of a response. Carlisle and I had both agreed that we'd be better off if we played as nicely as we could.

* * *

"_I am worried for you, Edward," Carlisle said softly. "Aro does not call upon people lightly. I fear this is a trap of some kind."_

_We were in the garage, out of hearing range from Bella and the rest of my family. We kept our voices hushed. He paced in front of me while I packed a small bag of necessary items from the ones already in my car: Bella's and my passport, a change of clothing for the both of us. We traveled lightly, but it was an excuse to get a moment with Carlisle while Bella said what there was to say to Esme and Alice, Rose and Emmett._

"_I know," I told him solemnly. _

_There was nothing I could do, regardless of the trap that I knew we were walking into. If we refused to go, Aro would see that and he'd come to us, angry and ready for retribution. It would endanger the people of Forks, certainly the wolves and their people. If we all went, how much more easily would it be for Aro to pick at us, tear at us, read us. There was more of a chance that he'd touch one of us and learn the secrets we so desperately wanted to keep from him, more of us for Jane to torture. And sending Bella alone was _not_ an option. There was no way that the two of us weren't going._

_The truth of the matter was, we were stuck. Aro wanted to "meet" Bella. I knew what that could mean for us, but there was nothing I could do but go and protect her with everything I could._

_I sighed loudly._

"_It's a dangerous game we are playing, but I can't let him get to her. He already knows too much—the fact that they already know about her frightens me. Let alone the fact that we know she's got, at the very _least_, a very powerful shield. Even with Renata, he'll want her, won't he?"_

"_I'm afraid so, son," Carlisle whispered._

_I pondered it before he came beside me and put his hand on my shoulder. _

"_Edward, I know Aro. He is conceited, selfish, cruel. He will stop at nothing to get what he wants. I feel like I am sending you and Bella into the lion's den with nothing."_

"_And _I_ will stop at nothing to protect her. Besides, you've given me everything I could have asked of you," I said, tapping my temple. "It will be like you are there with me."_

_He smiled at that, a sad, defeated smile. But Carlisle had let me see it, all the things that he'd kept hidden from me over the years. He'd given me knowledge that would be invaluable. He was right—Aro was vile, while on the surface, he acted with the utmost decency. _

_He was a dangerous chameleon, and the power that he had was ultimate._

"_What do you intend to do about Aro's gift? He will see right away everything that you know."_

"_I hope that I can keep that from happening. I hope that when he sees Bella—when he see's that we've actually come—he'll be placated. If not, I can only hope that Bella will be as quiet to him as she is to me. That's the best we can do."_

_Carlisle nodded to himself, lost in his desperate thoughts. Ones where he might never see either of us again._

"_You will call me," he said, pulling me to him with enough force that I really felt it. "If you need me—anything—you will call and I will come."_

"_I will not hesitate," I promised. "I've got you on speed dial. I always have."_

_He pulled back and looked at me. I could see the worry in his eyes, even if he was trying to hide it from me with his mind. My father wondered if _he _was the reason for all of this._

"_I can't wait for you and Bella to return. Hurry home to us son," he whispered._

"_There's nowhere else I want to be," I told him. I just hoped we got the chance._

* * *

I knew what we were walking into. There was a great potential that I wouldn't be able to control anything. I knew that. But I hoped—_prayed_—that Aro would see her, and then let us go on our way.

It was a terrible long-shot. I hadn't been totally honest with her in that regard.

I looked over at Bella, hazarding the glance while at the same time, taking her in as much as I was able in that moment. Her eyes were closed at the moment, her head tilted away from me. I could tell from the stillness in her that she was lost in herself, in the thoughts that threatened to overwhelm her. There was no precedence for what we were about to step into. Since waking up, I imagined that this was the most afraid she had been, yet still, I could offer her no comfort with the eyes of Alec and his thugs on us.

Her lips were drawn tight, a small crease on her forehead between her eyebrows. Despite my better judgment, I reached over and squeezed her hand. Her eyes popped open at the contact, and immediately sought mine. Surprisingly, what I saw in them calmed me.

She was thinking about what was to come, and what had already happened, perhaps, but there was an immeasurable strength in them still. She squeezed back slightly before we separated our hands. They rested next to each other on the long, plush bench, our pinkies touching just slightly. It was not enough, but it was all we had at the moment.

We'd arrived to the old, overgrown landing strip within our two-hour allotted time, dropping our hands just before we got to the clearing. The entire way, which was incidentally only a few minutes run, I'd held on to her as tightly as I'd held my tongue. I wanted to tell her how I was feeling. I was nearly bursting with the urge to tell her how much I loved her, to tell her that no matter what happened, she was the center of my whole entire world, but we'd run in silence, simply moving from one unknown to the next.

I don't know what held me back. Perhaps it was the fact that we'd only just kissed, that we'd only just begun to show our feelings. Perhaps it was because it wasn't needed, because I'd shown her exactly what she meant to me in that kiss. Or perhaps it was because we were about to do something very dangerous, something that would be more of a risk than I'd let on to even Carlisle. Though, as I'd seen from his thoughts, he already knew what we were about to face, and he was terrified.

We'd not had much time before we left, Bella and I, to our meadow. I can't say that I knew the pull I had to bring her there, but I knew that we both had to see it before we left, went away with Alec and the Volturi guard. I feared it might be my last chance to take her there, and I wanted to remember it the way that it was, our own place—us, just as we were then. Before we were tainted with something darker. Few words were necessary, as it turned out; Bella wanted the same thing.

I saw the full strength of her in the previous two days. She'd faced the prospect of leaving the only home she'd known as a vampire and her father, met a pack of wolves whom she'd been so sure she'd known, saw her vampire and human life collide, and was summoned to face something that could end both our lives. I was beginning, only now, to realize she was stronger than me in so many ways.

"How sweet," Alec sneered, breaking my inner musings about the woman beside me. His thoughts replayed the display, and I could see from his mind how tender the whole thing looked despite how innocent I'd tried to make it. He thought about how much he would enjoy seeing us at the hands of his sister, Jane. I prayed once again that Bella and I would manage to make it out unscathed.

"I was surprised," I told him, trying to distract him away from Bella and my connection, "that Aro had sent you to fetch us. I was under the impression that he usually sent Jane on his missions."

I watched the anger flicker over his face for just a moment before his calm façade slid back in place. He smiled as if I'd just told him a sneaky little plot.

"Yes, well, Aro does like Janey to go out on these…_adventures_, normally." He leaned forward. He looked more like the small demon I knew him to be than the boy he portrayed. "This time, however, Aro thought my particular gift would be useful, should you decide not to cooperate. Jane tends to be…_impatient_."

There was threat in his voice.

"Of course, we _did_ cooperate."

"Yes," he whispered menacingly, "you did. Fortunate for you."

There was silence in the air for a while. Santiago paid no mind to the conversation going on behind him, but Felix was thinking with pleasure of all the ways in which we would have paid by Alec's—and his—hands should we have resisted. Alec was thinking of nothing but Jane, and his longing to be back with his sister.

His thoughts disturbed me, not only because he seemed to obsess over her in his mind, but also because I'd never seen anything like it. It was not sensual in nature—not inappropriate or sexual, _that_ way—but still, it's intensity made me uneasy. The connection that he had was more than that of siblings, it was as if he were drawn to her. The bond seemed to be that of mates, without the lust and desire for her bodily. I wondered briefly if, because of his youthfulness when he was turned, he would not be able to find a mate of his own, and that is why Jane held such a strong place for him.

Or maybe he was just that much of a sick bastard.

My own thoughts drifted to my sisters, women who were not of my own blood but about whom I would challenge anyone to say that they were not my own kin.

Rose had been angry about the fact that we were leaving, threatening me with bodily harm should I not return to them safely and quickly, with Bella in tow. I'd heard all of her fury, all her sadness, and all of her love in the one threat, and then she'd thrown her arms around me and squeezed me so tightly. Her eyes wouldn't meet mine after, but I didn't need to see them to know how much she was suffering from our leaving. Rosalie hated not being in control, and she was feeling very helpless.

Esme gave me her love next, promising to be there the moment they needed me, and begging me to return to her and Carlisle.

"_Edward," she'd whispered. "You are my son and she is my daughter in every sense of the word. Please don't break my heart."_

She didn't need to say it—didn't need to even think about it—for me to know that I'd already done that on more than one occasion. She took my face between her palms, kissed my cheeks and then left me to Emmett and Jasper, who in turn said their goodbyes, both of them reiterating their anger and frustration, and vowing to help in any way they could. Esme had gone to Bella and whispered her love as she tried to hide the lines of sadness around her eyes. They all promised that whatever we needed they would do, and I know they all regretted that Bella and I were going alone. There was guilt, anger, fear, and sadness.

Besides my goodbye to Carlisle, however, was my goodbye to Alice was the most difficult.

* * *

_Carlisle left me, going to console Esme and say his goodbyes to his nearest daughter, when Alice found me. I knew she was there, not only because her thoughts were bouncing around in my head, but because her body was bouncing right along with them._

_She and Jasper had come to us last of my siblings, their entry into our family so much different than that of Esme or Rose or even Emmett. But still, they fit in almost seamlessly. I had a connection to Alice that was more than just that of coven-members or even family. Alice was my sister, confidant, and friend in a world where I never thought it entirely possible. Each of my family members held a dear place in my heart, but Alice was something else entirely._

_It was not only our talents that set us apart and connected us. From the moment that Alice waltzed into our family, surprising all of us with her tenacity and sureness, I knew that we were kindred spirits. She was not my mother, like Esme, and I did not feel the pressure to keep from disappointing her the way I did with my mother. She was not meant for me, a failed experiment of mating like Rose. She too held a gift that no one besides us would ever understand—I could finally feel at ease about my gift and she could take solace in the fact that she was not alone in her head. The others, even Carlisle, regretted my gift at times. But Alice welcomed the camaraderie of my knowledge that she was no longer the only one who saw what the future would hold._

_Alice never judged me. She never expected more out of me than I was, and her astounding faith in the future managed to give me hope where there never had been before._

_She did not despise what we were. She did not wish to change back into her old self. She was simply… my friend._

_She stood before me, leaning against the door frame, her small body stilled for the brief moment we were alone. Her mind flipped through the images in her head, not all of them pleasant. There was one missing now, which I grieved._

"_It's gone," she whispered. "Not entirely, but it's fuzzy."_

"_I know."_

_The image that had been so clear earlier, that of Bella and I in quiet embrace on the balcony, was not the same as it had been before. Before, the image had been so sharp, so tactile that I could feel her in my arms, could smell the distinct fragrance of Paris in the moonlight. I was to have that, but my decision to take Bella and go to Volterra had made it hazy at best. It was still there though, hovering in her periphery, just out of reach._

"_But, you'll get it back, I think."_

_I went over to her and hugged her. She wrapped her arms around my waist. _

"_I see a lot of things," she whispered into my shirt. "It's not all good, but you and Bella need to stick together. That's the most important thing. Protect her, Edward. She'll need you so much."_

_I looked down at her then, my little sister who had always been so much stronger and more sure than me. I nodded, knowing there was nothing I could do besides what she asked. She wrinkled her nose at me, and suddenly the despondency was gone from her, and only fierceness remained._

"_I still think you're an _idiot_ not to take me along," she huffed. "You not as good without me."_

"_I know," I told her fondly. Immediately, I thought of Bella, searched her out where she was saying her goodbyes to Carlisle and again to Esme and Emmett. I sighed._

"_Well, maybe that's not true." Immediately, she showed me an image of Bella and I, surrounded by the browning grasses of our meadow. She was in my arms, and I was kissing her. "She makes you stronger. She'll need your strength for some things. You'll need hers for others."_

_Alice did not elaborate, and I wondered if she was not seeing an image that told her that, but just knew it inside her. Even when there was no vision to accompany her feelings, she was usually right. _

_I said my last goodbye to my favorite sister, both of us knowing that the next time I saw her, the world as we knew it would be a very different place. No vision necessary._

* * *

Large, misty clouds swirled by us outside the aircraft's windows, signaling that we were getting closer to our decent. The plane dipped slightly, not uneasily, as we lowered closer to the ground. It would not be long now that we were upon Volterra.

I was aware that our captors were becoming more and more restless, and despite the fact that we were vampires who could stay resolved for endless lengths of time, the mood in the cabin was tense. Perhaps they, too, were wondering what would transpire once we touched down. I looked over at Bella. When our eyes met again, I saw so much emotion in them.

My kiss with Bella had been so much more than Alice's vision had allowed. I saw it before it happened, of course, but the foresight to it happening had done nothing to prepare me for the actual act. Even having Alice give me a glimpse had not made me really believe it. It had been my first kiss—perfect, wondrous…devastating. I hoped it would not be our last.

I loved this woman beside me, so much that I almost regretted it. Had I not, perhaps we wouldn't be in this position. I had not said the words, but I prayed that she saw how much I needed her. I hoped I would get the opportunity to tell her soon—not when we were being coerced into cooperation, or when we feared for the future, but when we were happy again, safe and in our meadow. I vowed that when the words left my lips for the first time—when I _finally_ told her how much she _was_ to me—it would not be because I feared there was no more chance for me to say them.

But even as I promised myself that, I didn't know if it would happen.

The plane lowered again, and this time the plane shuddered a bit. Bella reached over and gripped my hand quickly, more out of reaction than actually fear. The movement was not lost on Alec, however, and he smiled.

"Don't worry, newborn," he hissed. "It is not a plane crash you need to fear."

His mind flooded with Jane, and he chuckled darkly at the image of Bella writhing in pain at the hand of his sister. I growled low in my throat. The only thing that kept me grounded was the feeling of Bella's hand in mine as she rubbed small circles with her thumb on my palm.

_She_ was comforting _me_. I would never deserve her. I pulled her near me, hoping to offer her some peace. I was with her. I would never leave her. Screw whatever Alec thought.

By the time the Volturi's Global Express touched the ground, the sun was dipping past the horizon. The plane jerked and shimmied as we made our landing. By the time we stopped, Bella was all but in my arms, and I allowed it. I _relished_ it, needing her as much as she did me.

We stepped off the plane onto the private airfield. It was surrounded by the Tuscan landscape, beautiful and unassuming to the human eye. I could see its appeal, and it would surely hide any sort of maliciousness from humans. Nestled behind an ancient church, it appeared almost innocent. Only I knew the horrors that the little church kept hidden.

Rising beside the church, like a lord over his serf, was Volterra—looming, ominous, beautiful. Alec and his guards escorted us out onto the grassy lawn beneath the plane, their minds more smug than I'd have liked.

With Bella's hand in mine, and her body close, we followed Alec to the small church, hidden partially in the mountains and trees outside the city's walls. We walked through a tall unkempt archway into the courtyard of the quaint church, a lush green landscape that reminded me so much of the meadow. The building was dilapidated, its walls succumbing to the great green vines crawling up its height. The steps to its front were cracked and covered in moss. An ancient fountain lay chipped and overgrown in the courtyard, its pipes long run dry. I held tightly to Bella's hand as she gazed at the ruined building. Felix pushed the rusted, gated door open and held it there, as Alec and then Santiago stepped in before us, slamming it behind us to the point that Bella startled. He chuckled behind us, his mind amused at Bella's reaction to the fear inside her.

The inside of the chapel was small, with crumbling exposed bricks and stucco patches throughout. The altar was long unused, candles unlit and covered with a thick layer of grey dust. There were no pews, any longer—no one attended mass here.

It was vacant, almost ghostly, as though I could still feel the pain of it being ripped from the hands of the faithful. It had been a long time since there had been and worship or penance there.

Alec directed us through a flaking, wooden door to the sacristy. There, he led us down to a lower area. When he opened the gate to what looked like a cellar, I felt the cold draft of a dark tunnel whoosh out at us. I paused, holding Bella close to me.

"Come, now," Alec sneered. "Nothing too frightening."

Alec's smile was as cool as the drafty underground, and without more word, he went down into the tunnels. Felix nudged my shoulder and pushed me forward, grunting. I gave Bella's hand an encouraging squeeze and moved down into the cellar, leading her closely behind me.

The tunnels were not well-lit, though a bit of artificial lighting did exist. Our captors traversed this system so many times, the act was mundane, but from their thoughts, I gleaned that this was a way for them to get their victims into the city without their knowledge. This was what the sparse lighting was for, I was sure, but its design was set up to confuse humans. As we moved, I could tell exactly the direction we were going, but with all the twists and turns, I knew it would confuse even the most alert human victim.

The caverns were cold, dripping with the condensation beneath the earth. The air felt heavy, and I caught the lingering scent of death, as if the stone walls were dripping with blood. I pulled Bella closer to me, as if to shield her from the drafty, menacing air. Of course, that was wholly unnecessary. She wedged closer to me anyway.

Night had fallen in the city. I knew the moment we entered below it, the streets still teeming with the life of the day. This was hunting hour for vampires, the time when humans still roamed freely, their bellies full and their spirits soaring from a little wine. This is when, in the shadows of the night that mixed with the diminishing rays of the day, a missing person wouldn't quite be missed. It is when tourists disappeared, their group unaware they were missing quite yet.

I followed their voices in my head. There was life, there was freedom, and every now and then there was a hint of fear. They didn't quite know what it was about this ancient city, but their hearts told them, if only at singular moments, that demons walked among them. Or in our case, below them. Too bad they didn't listen to that little voice that said, _fear me._

As we neared the great turret that housed the Volturi rulers and their guard, we passed beneath large iron grates leading up to the city streets. The light from the evening filtered down, casting its muted glow on each of us as we passed. There was little light left now, but still, it was lighter in even the darkest part of the city than here below. Gone was the fake lighting meant to ease the fears of human sacrifices. Now, their fate was sealed—no way out now. Here, below the cobblestone, is where the tributaries merged into one great tunnel. It led straight to the Volturi—_only_ to the Volturi—as I was sure all things truly did here. This was their city. We were their honored guests.

Or so they said.

The closer we got to the castle, the more the stench seemed to infiltrate my nose. It was as if here, the earth was steeped in human sacrifice. Only Bella's hand in mine steadied me through. I could feel her next to me, her body brushing up against mine every now and then as we walked, and I let her ground me, focusing me. Though I was well-practiced in the art of restraint—God knows _she'd_ tested that resolve in so many ways—even I was having difficulty with the _idea_ of my thirst. It was just a memory, like it was wafting through me, the way human blood tasted on my tongue, the way that it made me feel so powerful and fulfilled. I was not _really_ thirsty. I'd only just hours before filled myself, but the scent of human blood in the air was so cloying that it piqued my interest, marginally. We passed under another iron grate, and I hazarded a peak at Bella in the citiy's light. She was controlling herself, but only just. Her eyes were large and dark, and I saw in the tiny smile she offered me that her throat itched and her body vibrated with it. She was strong, but not immune. I pulled her into my side to help ease her discomfort.

"Don't think about it," I whispered against her hair. She whimpered, and I understood the power such a thing would take for her, a newborn. "Imagine we are in the meadow, the smell of spring tulips in the air. Don't breath; just think about the memories of those smells instead. The clean crispness of the grass and trees. The way the water smells running over the rocks. Or a thunderstorm just before it happens. The way those wolves smelled. Anything besides what you are feeling now. Clear your mind of it. We are close."

She held her breath and pinched closed her eyes, burying her nose against me. She let me lead her. Alec had not missed the exchange, and his lackeys were amused by it all.

"I see she did not _inherit_ Carlisle's extreme control," Alec sneered. I ignored him, as did Bella, who was now taking long pulls in through the fabric of my shirt.

I knew the moment we were inside the Volturi's great fortress. It was still too cold, still eerily dark and ancient, but the smell subsided some. As we got higher, the scent of blood in the air dissipated slightly. Alec led us through a large cobblestone archway, closing an iron grate behind us. He motioned us forward, and quickly, dirt and unfinished stone turned to castle walls and echoing hallways.

"Just this way," he sung. "Not long now."

He led us a little further, until we reached a large, floor-to-ceiling door. Upon it, the mark of the Volturi was etched and accented in iron. From inside, more than a dozen voices echoed in my head. Their thoughts were disjointed. They knew we were here, having been told. They could sense us as easily as we could sense them. Bella tensed, knowing the same, though she could not hear them the same way as I could. Inside the large turret, the Volturi and all their guard waited in discernible silence. There were no external sounds, nothing that bounced around the high expanse of the tower. But even she could feel the stagnant air of hatred, greed, malice—_death_.

Santiago and Felix each took a handle and opened the doors wide. The air rushed out and fluttered my shirt, Bella's blouse, her hair.

Alec entered and walked across the expanse of the room. Bella and I stepped inside.

The room was as dimly lit as the rest of the castle so far. Massive marble and stone, the tower was large and circular and pitted in the center. Along the wall, torch light danced, casting shadows that spirited their way over the curvature of the turret. High above us, the meager light disappeared into blackness, only broken up near the tower's ceiling, by the moonlight that came in through the arrow slats.

Like the underground caverns, the room held the lingering scent of decay and massacre, but unlike the tunnels, this stench seemed fresher, more poignant. It was below us, though, deep under where we now stood. Blood was on their hands here, and had been recently. I hazarded a glance at Bella, to see how she was faring. Her eyes were dark, but not frenzied. She was fine for now. She amazed me. She was putting on a very good show already.

Around the circumference of the massive stone room were vampires, some of whom I recognized, some who I'd never seen. From the color of their cloaks, I could tell who held higher places, and from my father's memories, I recognized a few.

To our left was Heidi, Chelsea, Afton. To our right, Alec had joined his sister Jane and the one I knew of as Demetri. He sneered at me, and his eyes and mind shot to Bella, who was still hiding behind me. There was recognition there, and I did not need him to think it to know that Demetri had knowledge of Bella. I would have to watch him, I decided in that split second.

I took in all the others, one's whose thoughts I heard through the doors, but whose faces I'd never had a chance to tie with names. The wives stood to the left of the massive pit, shadowed and protected from our sight by their guard Corin and Aro's guard, Renata.

Santiago and Felix stepped through the doorway behind us, and the massive doors slammed shut with a muffed _bang._ Bella did not shake this time and she stepped from behind me to my right side. I squeezed her hand.

There was little furniture, only three occupied thrones that sat on a semi-circular rise farthest from us past the pit. I looked straight ahead to the center one and glared into crimson eyes that glittered with excitement. His mind raced with pleasure at our entrance, the sight of me, _the Edward_ that he'd wanted for so long, there in his sanctuary. Of _Bella_ there with me.

His face was animated, as if we truly were guests whom he had been anxiously expecting. He raised one hand and shooed away those whose names I did not know, those that were not in cloaks like the guard. They left without word, exiting out a well-hidden door to the left of us.

Aro made a big show of relaxing himself into his throne, propping himself comfortably like the king he imagined himself to be. When we had waited for nearly a minute he spoke:

"_Welcome," _he said, his voice saccharine and laced with deceit."So _good _of you to come."

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**End Notes: **Sorry for the semi-cliffhanger again. I've been holding you in anticipation lately, haven't I? I'll try to get the next chapter to you sooner this time. So we can get to more Volturi fun.

Thank you for reading. If you'd like to see pictures of the Global Express Business Jet, you can find the pictures here: http:/www (DOT) flickr (DOT) com/photos/77591492N07/

I still can't link in my profile here at FF. Sucky.

Anyway, have a great week! Thanks again!


	19. Chapter 19: Welcome Wagon or Meat Wagon

**Author's Note:**

Hello all! Thank you so much for reading. Lots of new readers this time around! Welcome! Hope you are all doing well. Thanks again for taking the time out of your busy lives to read my little story.

Sorry for the slight delay this time around. It's been a crazy two weeks. I didn't get a chance to reply to everyone's reviews, either, which sucks, and I'm sorry. So many of you had such insights into the story, and I can't tell you how much that means to me.

I wanted to take this opportunity to remind you all of the rating of this story. It is rated M for a reason, just so you are aware. I know I have yet to be graphic—and I never do so if it isn't in the best interest of the story I'm telling—but this chapter touches on some more-adult themes. We will get into sex, violence, and suffering in this story, so if you are sensitive to that or underage, please remember that it is intended for a mature audience. I'll be sure I give you a little heads up before things get too sad or too graphic.

As I've said before, the story does NOT contain rape or incest for those who are concerned.

I've taken some liberties with some of the Volturi characters, who I find immensely interesting. I think that we never got really fleshed out characters in the Saga, even though she had all of it in her head, and I am excited to play with that. They are a little bit darker for me than for SM, I think. They are, after all, the BAD kind of vampires, right?

So, just as a precaution, if you are not 18, you shouldn't be reading this. I appreciate all my readers, regardless of age, but I have a responsibility to tell you that.

FYI, we're backtracking a little from the last chapter. Wanted to give you a little more detail about what Edward is seeing/hearing—it's a very internal chapter. Onward…I think I said Volturi "_good_"ness?

**Chapter 19 Playlist Song: **_All Around Me_, by Flyleaf

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 19: A Fine Distinction Between the Welcome Wagon and the Meat Wagon**

_Here. Aro's acquisitions. _

_What Aro has been waiting for._

_The rumors are true. Carlisle Cullen has another? _

_Who are they? What does he want with them?_

_Will there be sacrifice tonight? _

_Wish I could stay to watch . Aro's trials are always interesting._

The room hummed with the voices as they echoed through my mind, each of them focused on the entrance of me and my Bella.

To our left, Heidi was watching me carefully. Her attention was fully focused on me, though Bella was the one to whom most were drawn—curious about, even Aro. Despite the fact that I knew she was thinking of beguiling me, her talents had no affect. Heidi was not used to being ignored, with her attractive traits and her innate draw that no human or vampire was supposed to be able to resist. But to me, she held no interest, not when _Bella_ was beside me.

Next to Heidi were Chelsea and her mate Afton. He was not impressive, his mind as clueless as to what Aro wanted of us as the rest of them. Like Bella seemed to be, he was a shield, but he was not impressive in his abilities. His gift was somewhat like a parlor trick, one that he wasn't using at the moment. But Chelsea was trying very hard to contain her gift. She was itching to use her power to tie us to Aro, nearly crawling out of her skin in anticipation of it. I knew then that tying us to him had been our true reason for coming here. Aro had given her at least some insight into our arrival, and I knew that she was waiting for his command to try to tie us to him, to the Volturi guard. She was biding her time, wanting it so badly. Aro would not be happy should she use her gift without his command.

Alec's footsteps echoed off the cold, blood-stained granite. He went to join his sister across the room, his mind full of pride for his successful retrieval, and relief that he was back again with Jane. Jane watched him, both amused by our arrival, and surprised. Her brother was a force to be reckoned with, and she knew that, but a tiny part of her had hoped he would not succeed. This was _her_ mission to go on, and it had been given to her brother. The idea angered her. She didn't like competition, even with her kin.

Alec stood between Jane, who turned her focus on us, and Demetri, who watched Bella warily, his mind shielding his thoughts. My eyes caught his, a moment of recognition causing me startling pause.

_Evades me. Again._

Again? There was no image to go with the thought, nothing that could indicate that he had ever been near her, but somehow I knew that he had _some_ sort of knowledge of Bella, even if it was miniscule. This frightened me, and I pulled her closer to me, as if my arms would protect her from him. He was angry, but he'd already been told that I would be able to read his thoughts. As quickly as the errant thought had come up, it was hidden by trivial thoughts. A memory of Aro, warning him to control, set me further on edge.

The only thing that made me feel better was the fact that as hard as Demetri tried, he could not get a read on her. His gift allowed him to track anyone, but apparently Bella was immune to him as much as she was to me. I smiled slightly. It made me proud. t gave me hope.

She seemed to sense the shift in my mood, or perhaps I wasn't doing a good enough job of masking my concern as I thought. I looked down at her to see her big, round red eyes watching me with her own concern. I squeezed her hand to reassure her and regained my composure.

I vowed to keep a watchful eye on that son-of-a-bitch.

The Volturi's wives stood to the left side as well, protected by their guard Corin and with Aro's guard Renata. Their thoughts held nothing of interest, really. Corin was focusing on the wives contentment in the face of our arrival and their well-being and Renata, on shielding Aro. The wives were comatose.

We were barely in the room when the doors closed loudly behind us, virtually sealing us in with the dank, oppressive air. Santiago and Felix stayed behind us, blocking the exit that we'd only just entered.

_Signed, sealed, delivered._

Bella jumped, but only slightly. The movement was not missed by the guard and the Volturi rulers, and they each registered surprise at the way she moved, so much like a little human girl. Wary, frightened, but still with un-newbornlike control.

_Like lambs…_ someone thought.

_Too easy._

Before us, Aro sat smugly. He was pleased with our arrival, remembering all the things that he'd heard about _me_, and all the things that he wanted to know about _Bella_. I could tell from his mind that he didn't know what Bella's gift was, though he knew she had one. Strange. He was incredibly adept at keeping me out, and I knew that he had tried to train his guards at the practice of it as well. Demetri was evidence of that. And Chelsea.

The other vampires whose names and faces Carlisle had not given me filed out of the small, concealed doorway to our left, one by one, upon Aro's silent command. The remaining thoughts still buzzed in my head like a hive.

_Torture them for their insubordination. Hope the master lets me try it out. Fucking ridiculous. So young. Stand no chance. Amazing. I wonder if he can hear me now. Prize. What I could do to him. So pretty. They will not be able to resist the draw—who wouldn't want to be one of us. Protect him, not to be trusted. What is so special? Fresh meat._

_Strange. I've never seen anything like it. It's as if she does not exist._

My eyes shot to Marcus who, while apathetic and seemingly uninterested, was watching Bella more closely than he let on. His eyes were clouded and unfocused, but his brain was not, paying very close attention to the bright ties all around the room. His gift to see the bonds between individuals was something I'd never seen before. His mind manifested these bonds like strands of cord that stretched all over the vast room like a massive webbing—ones that roped together Aro and the rest of the guard, the vampires and their mates. Some of the strings were shaky, weathered and frayed at best, some shown with a bright light that wouldn't relent. And each had their own line that ran like a track to the vampire in question, two cords for each couple.

Aro to each vampire, and each vampire to Aro; mate one to mate two, and mate two to mate one.

But between Bella and I, there was only one, tightly bound line.

Marcus scrutinized us, amazed and confused but unable to offer any understanding to me. His eyes turned themselves slowly to me, and he sighed.

_Only one binding. So peculiar. Perhaps…_

But there was nothing to finish the sentence, and I felt a sharp pang in my stomach and chest that seemed to radiate out of me. I would be a liar to say I didn't feel my heart constricting in my chest, or begin to doubt everything I knew. I _loved_ Bella, my line so easily seen in Marcus' mind—strong, larger and tighter than any other in the room, even those that existed between the mates—but there was nothing from Bella to me, as if she had no tie to me at all.

Not even as friends.

Or perhaps, even Marcus couldn't read my Bella.

Aro's words echoed off the barren walls, making his voice seem as if it were coming from all directions. I shook the feeling of desperation in me and focused on the demon in front of us. Despite what was in Marcus' head, I was here to protect Bella. I would do it with the very last essence of my life.

"_Welcome," _Aro said."So _good _of you to come."

He stood again, as if he couldn't contain his energy to stay seated. His hands stretched out before him, motioning to the room and all its remaining inhabitants.

"How do you like our home? It's magnificent, isn't it?"

I stepped forward, knowing that he wanted us closer, pulling Bella with me by her tightly clasped hand. Aro had thought about nothing so strongly as getting us as close to him as possible since we'd arrived. I hoped that by complying with his desires for this meeting, it might go more my way.

We moved into the center of the room, down the concentric levels around the large, rusted iron grate that covered the pitted center. Bella held my hand the whole time, still tight in my side. I stopped us in the center, our toes just to the grate. Downward, far into the earth below, the scent of decay wafted. I could smell it here. It was revolting. Mixed with the acidic vapors, the metallic tang was more than just from rust. I hazarded a glance at Bella, who offered me a returning, tight-lipped smile. She was holding on. Sort of. I could feel how tightly she was wound, just from the muscles in her hands and arms.

Aro, Marcus, and Caius were above us now, their thrones rising above the lowered center. This is as it was meant to be, I realized, and by stepping forward, I'd put Bella and myself exactly where many had waited as Aro held court. I'd seen these trials in Carlisle's mind. There was a bit of vulnerability here, in this dipped portion of the floor that sat high above their dumping grounds.

If the floor were to give out now, we would fall down, down where the Volturi disposed of their victims' remains. We could be nothing more than fodder. So easily.

Marcus focused on a point far in the distance somewhere, a cheerless and apathetic look on his face. He _seemed_ thoroughly bored with our visit, though his mind was still intrigued by Bella's lack of tether. Hiding beneath the intrigue, there was a flicker of regret that we were there, and it felt almost as if he was disappointed that it had come to that. Outwardly, he couldn't care less, but I thought there was a hint of a warning there. Perhaps I was only imagining the trace of compassion.

Likely, I was.

Caius was on Aro's other side, his posture and thoughts indicating what a waste of time this felt like to him. It was not the same as Marcus' indifference, but rather, he was angry. Repulsed. Annoyed. Ready for action rather than flowery words with no sincerity behind them. He hated Aro's way of things sometimes.

Aro seemed to bounce from foot to foot, a strange and delighted smile on his face. He was doing an excellent job of keeping me out of his own head, in the same way that he'd seemingly coached his minions. He was thinking of Carlisle, and the fact that he wasn't here, and me, and all the things he'd heard of me through the years. I saw in his head the people who had spoke with him about me, vampires whom we'd come across through the years—the magnitude of memories that drifted through his head at a lightning pace that were effectively keeping his thoughts from the thing that was truly the reason for our visit: Bella. The sadistic thrill still weaved its way in and out of each memory, however, and he seemed to erupt with the anticipation of our being here. Had I not understood what he was capable of, I wouldn't have worried too much about this bizarre, translucent vampire who almost acted like a child in a candy shop. Only more fearsome and malevolent.

He let out a strange, high-pitched cackling kind of laugh that echoed off the tall stone walls. I cringed at the underlying tone of malice.

"Master," Alec interrupted, dipping low to the floor with flourish. "I hope I have done you justice." He seemed to offer us to his master with his deep bow, like spoils of war, a tribute to his king.

Aro said nothing, too excited with our visit to even notice he was talking, much to Alec's disappointment. He stayed lowered for a moment, but then shrunk and cowered again next to the thrones, his bitter and chagrined thoughts evident to no one but me.

Jane watched us closely, her eyes narrowing at me and then Bella. Her lips twisted up into a wicked smile as she thought only for me.

_Do you enjoy pain? I will bring you _pain_._

I turned away from her, suppressing my cringe. Carlisle had told me of her talents, of the pain that she inflicted. He'd never felt it personally, but he'd witnessed its effects, how it could lower a strong vampire to his knees in half a moment. She was a sick and terrifying little vampire. Especially because of the pleasure that she took from it. She felt their pain and terror when it happened, got a surge of immense joy from it. She wanted to watch me suffer. And Bella.

The room was quiet, but in my head, I was bombarded with their arrant thoughts. It was overwhelming. The room buzzed with wild energy. My head almost hurt, so much wickedness in one small space.

_Aro will play his games with them._

_Such a disappointment. _

_I can't wait to see what he'll do with these infidels._

_They will succumb._

_I hope the master will let me play first. He's too delicious to behead. Yet._

I tried to shut the noises out, focusing on Aro and his "brothers." There was a mixture of indifference, strange fascination, and jealous anger in the guard. It was as I expected, and it was easy to pinpoint the voices though I didn't know any of these vampires. I dismissed them, keeping all the information for later. All that mattered was the voice of the three that would hold each moment from here on out in their hands.

_Devour. Maim. Hurt. _Fuck_._

I turned toward the thought quickly, my focus all lost for the moment. White hot vengeance coursed through me in a way that I'd never felt before, and I almost forgot where we were and the precarious situation we were in.

_Pulling long brunette hair, leather, pain. Pleasure. Suck, taste, burn. Cock. Lips. Flee and find. I _will _find her. Somehow._

Had my stomach had the ability to turn over, I would have retched. My eyes snapped to the voice that I'd heard before, the one that disturbed and perplexed me already. In the corner, in the dark shadows, Demetri was watching Bella like a predator, his thoughts having shifted from anger and pettiness at not being able to catch a trace of her, to something so much darker and more primal. I may have growled low in my throat.

_Angry. Raw. _Hard_._

Bella's hand in the crook of my arm focused me again. Her fingers traced from my palm up the skin on the inside of my wrist, softly, slowly. She was watching me curiously. I straightened and turned back to the task at hand. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice. Except Bella. I would have to be on my guard now more than I ever thought was necessary. Bella tugged my elbow a little to bring me back to the present situation, just as Aro was coming gracefully down the stone steps. It was as if he floated, his body so smooth, like he no longer had to touch the ground to make it yield to him. He paused a mere three feet from us.

Aro smiled down at Bella, his lips pulling over his teeth. Though he wasn't, at the moment, trying to be menacing, his presence alone was unsettling.

"I am so pleased that you decided to join me," he hissed to her. He watched her as if she were a little bird in a cage, his head tilting back and forth. To her credit, she did not shrink under his gaze, and even stepped a little bit away from me, raising her chin. This surprised him. He was expecting her to cower. His eyes shot to mine in question. His hand twitched beside him, and I heard in his mind how badly he wanted to touch Bella. And then me.

"I do wish my old friend Carlisle had decided to join us, though. I've missed his… pursuits. How is that life going for him? I do hope he is well."

Various members of the guard chuckled to themselves.

"He sends his apologies," I said, pulling Bella into my side again. I needed to feel her against me, her arm lined up with mine, at least, her presence grounding me. The movement didn't escape Aro.

"Well, regardless. A visit from his _family_ is still such a treat."

There was silence again as he assessed us. His eyes were wild, jumping from Bella to me and back again. There were so many things that he was thinking, I could barely keep up. I wondered briefly if that was also a talent of his, his massive mind so limitless that it moved that much faster.

"We are grateful for the kind invitation," I lied. Instantly was gone the rapid, swirling thoughts and frantic searching of his eyes. His gaze solidified on me, and he smiled a creepy, vicious sort of grin. He knew right away that I had lied to him. I was good at it, but we all knew so much more than the words that we spoke.

He licked his lips.

"Well, I will admit that I am dismayed and disappointed that there are not more of you. And of course, there is the lovely Alice, whom I've only had the privilege of hearing about. I was so hoping to meet her too."

He pouted a little, sullenly, like he was a small boy. Briefly, his mind flitted to a dirty blond vampire with wild eyes and a piss-poor attitude. I recognized him from the thoughts of the wolves. He was one of those that the pack had taken out months before, while I was still gone. I wondered if this was how he'd known about Bella, but if the timeline was correct, it couldn't have been possible—it was long before Bella was even a vampire. No, this memory included Alice, but I couldn't put the two and two together—not from his images. This blond vampire had seen Alice before, long ago, but had not known all there was to know. Only because Aro could read each and ever thought he'd ever had was there a connection. It was too much for me to know now. And Aro wasn't giving me any more. I refocused on Aro, rather than his cryptic thoughts.

He was watching me for a reaction to the useless image I'd seen. I kept my gaze on him, but controlled myself. Beside me, Bella flinched at the uncomfortable silence after the mention of Alice. She couldn't see what I could, of course, but his comment about her sister back home had her on edge as much as me. She knew just as well as I did that he was searching my eyes for something, telling me that he wanted Alice's talent. This game he was playing, pretending that he was interested in only our company, was exhausting.

When I didn't react to his disjointed images he was feeding me, he wondered briefly if all the stories he'd heard about me had been wrong. Just for a moment, he wondered if he'd been mistaken about Carlisle's coven.

"They send their apologies,' I told him dryly.

He snorted and smiled stealthily.

"Of _course_ they do."

"Aro," Caius said impatiently behind him. "Surly this is a sign of Carlisle's disrespect. It is not prudent to ignore such an invitation from your master. Perhaps we should pay him and his _family _a visit. Show them how far our hand can reach."

The threat was obvious, but Aro laughed jovially, his hand on his belly.

"Now, Caius. I don't think it's necessary to impose upon our old friend Carlisle. I'm sure he has good reason not to have come, but to send his son and newest daughter to us instead." He narrowed his eyes at me and spoke more softly. "After all, we already have two of his family right here with us. What more could I ask?"

Caius snorted and sunk back into his seat, angry for being spurned by Aro…again. He was hoping for the opportunity to make a trip, if for nothing more than a little bloodshed, a little amusement. Jane had hoped for the same.

"Welcome to Volterra," Marcus said wistfully, sardonically. He sighed, looking away in the distance again and his thoughts because foggy and serene.

"Yes, indeed. Again, welcome!" Aro said completely ignoring Marcus' sarcastic tone. He clapped his hands together again and rocked on the balls of his feet like an overtly enthusiastic child. It was becoming difficult for him to keep his hands to himself. "I've heard a great deal about you Edward, and I am pleased that we have the pleasure of meeting."

"Likewise."

With the ridiculous show and formalities out of the way, it was time, it seemed, to get to the point of our being here.

"I was surprised to hear that you had another join your…family. Isabella, is it?"

"Just Bella, please" she said, almost sweetly. I was amazed at the clarity of her tone, the way she stood so strongly and confidently. I imagined she was truly terrified of this monster she had only heard horror stories of. But still, she was playing her part well. Despite the tempting, tantalizing smells, despite the venom that was tangible in the room, despite that we knew nothing of what our future held, she was magnificent.

"Thank you again for inviting us to your lovely home," she said. "I've never been abroad before."

It was almost as if this were a real conversation.

Aro smiled triumphantly at her, delighted by the way she spoke, this little vampire who he'd been anticipating. He recognized that despite the fact she was a chaotic newborn, she carried herself like a diplomat. She was pretty, seemingly intelligent, obviously more controlled than he'd imagined she'd be. There, at the cusp of his mind, was the clear and real desire for having here.

_Mine._

Suddenly, the thought dissipated like a droplet of blood in water.

"Oh, you are most welcome," he trilled. "I am always interested in meeting new friends. Tell me, dear Bella, how did you find yourself with Carlisle's _family_?"

She sighed and her hand tightened around mine, where she'd returned it again. She seemed to stiffen at his question, but then relaxed again.

"I was in a car accident. Fortunately, Edward happened to come by and save me."

"Yes, how fortunate that is," he said. "Otherwise we wouldn't have you standing here with us. Tell me dear, how are you finding your new existence?"

I cringed slightly at the question, worrying over her answer to him. Would she tell him the truth if she really hated it? Had she been masking her true feelings about her transformation for me?

"Well. Thank you."

"Ah, wonderful," Aro purred, inching just a little closer. He saw himself reaching out to her. At the same time, the guard anticipated it, imagining their own scenarios of how the moment might go. A few imagined, with the way I was clutching on to her, I might snarl and pull her away. I considered it, before I blocked out all that was not Aro for the moment.

"It seems to suit you," he told her honestly. Aro saw the way her vampirism agreed with her—she was controlled and attentive, obviously intelligent. Beautiful. "Though, I do fear your youth and… spirit may be wasted all the way over there in Washington. Do you find your current lifestyle lacking?"

The wicked smile on his face made me seethe.

"No," she said immediately. "I am very happy with the life the Cullens have offered me. I'm thankful for their kindness. I wouldn't change _anything_."

Aro snorted slightly, momentarily taken aback with her wordage. _Kindness_ and _happiness_ were not words he often heard, and _never used, _especially in regards to the nature of us. She was mesmerizing him, beguiling him in the way that Heidi was wishing she could beguile me. He was even more intrigued than he'd been before. His eyes narrowed at her.

"Of course, though I do think that you have not fully _tasted_ all that this life has to offer yet. Not a very educated opinion yet. What about your _thirst_?" he hissed.

Her hand lifted, as if on its own accord, to her throat. With the lightest of touches, as if to verify that it was still intact, her fingers trailed over the long, delicate expanse of her neck. I saw the clunky swallow she took and the way her eyes closed ever so slightly. So did Aro. He smiled deviously with triumphant glee.

"It can't be… _satisfying_," he pushed.

"It's worth the sacrifice," she whispered, her eyes popping open. He smiled condescendingly at her. The other Volturi laughed at her presumed naiveté.

"I _very_ much doubt that."

A brief, hopeful vision of Bella in a long dark cape with blood at her lips flitted through his mind. He shook it quickly.

Despite how intrigued he was by her, Aro was growing tired of the pleasantries. He was itching to get to the real meat of the conversation. He wanted to read our minds and glean information from her. He wanted to know if she was special like he thought she might be. She _had_ to be—she was with Carlisle, and he doubted that it was only because she was now "family." He turned to me, wishing to know more about my gift.

"Edward, I hear you have quite a talent."

_Do you hear me boy?_

"I do," I said simply.

He laughed robustly, light dancing in his dead eyes. He enjoyed this, the mirth of playing with his perceived victims. He knew that I answered not only his internal question, but the one he asked out loud. It was only he that knew it, and even that small power over the rest of the vampires present was enough to send him reeling. The knowledge—the edge over everyone and everything—was intoxicating for him.

"Then you know of my own gifts?"

"I do,' I said again, nodding.

"A man of many words!" he laughed again. "So much potential you have. Perhaps it is not just Bella whose life is being…_forfeited_."

I did not miss the threat in his words, nor did Bella. She shifted on her feet, from one to the other and back again. The tiny movement caught his eye.

"So tell me Edward, Bella. What other secrets do you hold? What secrets does _our Bella_ hold?" he made a show of moving around us. "It cannot be by chance that you happened upon her that fateful night. You heard her perhaps? Heard her with your exceptional mind?"

"No," I whispered.

"No?" Aro smiled in a way that made me wonder how much he really knew. But then, his mind did not let on that already knew that Bella had a gift—as spot on and direct as his question to me had been. I couldn't determine when he was lying and when he was not, his mind to deep and expansive. He was clever and cunning. I anticipated the need to watch everything around him, but I suddenly worried that I was nowhere nearly strong enough to protect Bella.

He came up to her, scrutinizing her as if she were something wholly unnatural. His eyes were wild. His mind was alit with the possibilities.

"Amazing," he whispered sickly. He got so close, I feared that he might touch her without her consent. He had not wanted to do that—had sworn before we even arrived that he would wait for her permission—too proud to drop his act of amiability and hospitability. But he wanted to now, his hands dancing up in front of her face, like he wanted to take her cheeks in his palms and squeeze to extract all her secrets. I would not allow that—she would be too easy to break in his grasp. If his hands held her, he could twist and end both our lives in a flash.

He licked his lips. She was watching him closely, though to her credit, she did not _seem_ afraid. It was only in the tight grip of her hand that I recognized how tentatively she was holding on to control. I began to rub soft circles on her flesh there, if for nothing more than to ease her.

_I am here. I am with you. Do not be afraid._

I hoped she understood.

She was astounding Aro more and more as each second passed by. He continued to struggle with his own desires of seeing into her mind. I continued to chant my mantra, praying that her power—whatever the hell it was—held out against his. He leaned into her so that his thin, translucent cheek was near to her, so much so that he could feel her natural warmth coming off of her and dancing over his own.

"You do not fear me as others do, little one?" he whispered in her ear. How easily it would be for him to grab her and read all of her mind now. For just a fraction of a moment, I wished for it, even though it was selfish and would put everyone I loved in danger. If Aro knew the deepest thoughts that she harbored, so would I.

She watched him as he struggled to control his urge and pull away, and when he was far enough away that she could no longer feel his own warmth, she raised her chin.

"What have I got to be _afraid_ of? _Unless_, of course, we are here under _duress_, and you are _not_ the welcoming host that you say you are," she sassed.

I almost staggered at the way she spoke, so commanding, so impertinent, so tough. She was dazzling. But her words were dangerous. Aro saw red, his nostrils flaring with his anger toward her words. Outwardly, he maintained his composure, but inwardly, I knew we had just crossed a tenuous line. There was no blaming her, of course. We'd had to cross it eventually. He suddenly lost interest in playing this game with us. Bella had knocked him down a peg, and he was not pleased.

Despite his interest in our talents, he hated us both then.

"Do you not have many secrets that you wish to keep hidden? I find that my ability incurs fear. Most do not wish me to know their deepest desires and regrets."

She did not answer him, but I didn't miss the furtive glance toward me. She swallowed thickly, but other than that continued to hold her strength inside of her. My chest constricted uncomfortably. I already knew she had secrets. What they were, however, I couldn't know. Not unless Aro could find out for me.

Aro's desire to grab her hand in his and see what she could do was making him nearly catatonic, and her defiance was pushing him closer to the edge. He pursed his lips and frowned.

"I would ask that you allow me to touch you, Isabella." The mirth was gone from him, his tone direct and even.

She nodded, offering her hand instantly. Fear peaked in my belly. There were two ways this could go, of course. Bella could be immune to Aro. He would see this as a threat, and her easy offering to him would seem as though she knew how powerful she was all along. He would want her for his collection, likely more so than me or even Alice, simply for her bravery.

Or, he would be able to read her as easily as one reads a book, cover to cover. He would know her deepest, most desperate secrets, as would I. But then, he would see all that she was and could be, and would see of our alliance with the wolves.

Either way, I saw now, there would be no easy way out.

Rather than delight at her offer of her hand, he narrowed his eyes at her and stepped forward. His fingers seemed to dance in the air between them. I held my breath at the way he was savoring this, the power that he was gaining from it. I held an unneeded breath and clenched my eyes shut, as he gripped her other hand that I wasn't holding with both of his.

My eyes were closed, my mind attuned to what was going on. I _felt _through her the moment her hand slid into his, the way she tensed at the gruesome, near-transparent fingers as they encircled her own. Her other hand gripped mine nearly as tightly as I was grasping hers, as tightly as Aro was gripping her, keeping her from pulling away. She gasped slightly, and his mind rushed with all the aggressive joy of finally getting what he wanted.

And then there was nothing.

I saw what he saw, through his eyes, the way Bella's eyes were closed like mine and her deep breaths she was taking in to her useless lungs. I saw how confused he was, his mind folding in on itself in a way that it had never ever before. He was angry and confused, and perhaps just a little bit fearful. I saw the way her tiny hand rested in his, the evidence that he was in fact touching her.

But there was nothing of Bella's mind. Like a dark mist swirling through his brain, hazy gray against an absolute black void, he could not see her. He could not read her thoughts—the ones now or those that happened in the past. It was as if she were not there, in the room with him, at all.

My chest puffed up with pride and I smiled a wide, satisfactory grin. I would have loved to know what was in her mind. I would have given anything to know what her deepest-seeded wants and secrets were. But I didn't want _Aro_ to know them.

He growled low in his throat. I opened my eyes to see him throw her hand away. He stared at her, the fear and irritation in him allowing us to see the true nature of him, as he dropped to façade of welcoming host. He hated her, and me, and Carlisle for playing his game and having the upper hand, and he wanted us to suffer for it. For a second, he flashed to a picture of our deaths, all of us still on our knees before him, our heads in the hands of his guard. He wanted that, so much so that the vision of it was clouded with swirling red and black and amber tones.

"What did you see, Aro?" Marcus asked, already anticipating the answer. It was almost with glee that he asked it, as if the sight of Aro failing at anything had been so long in coming, he relished in it.

With the question came a sense of resolved peace in Aro. Marcus knew this, could tell how tentatively he held control. How many years had he seen this from Aro? How many times had he seen him fly off the handle and end the life of an unsuspecting vampire? Too many, I supposed.

Aro backed away from Bella, whispering to himself about talents and pieces and collections. I heard the way his thoughts had turned, from livid restitution to the desire to collect. He saw Bella beside him, her eyes blazing, her little body hidden in long black.

He shifted from red hot anger to cool resolve. He _would _have her.

And me, too, if I decided I had to stay. And eventually, Alice. He would find a way.

He saw it all, everything that I'd tried to keep hidden from her since her change: the way that I _needed_ to stay by her. Even without touching me, he saw it all. He knew she was the method for getting me to stay—the only way.

"Nothing," he said, his voice clear and focused. The demeanor slipped back in place. He was in control again. "I see nothing from her. Her gift astounds and surpasses even me."

He returned to his throne, sitting gracefully again. It was a big show, this act of being the ultimate ruler. He was again the one in control and he knew it. He had his sights set, and he would not be deterred. His mind worked quickly. A sickly smile crossed his face.

"Leave us," he hissed. Bella tensed beside me at Aro's tone. The charade was over, no going back.

Immediately, the group of vampires around us thinned, though not totally. It was obvious the hierarchy that existed here. Only a handful stayed, their bodies not even recognizing the command. They all knew where they stood in their master's eyes. Jane and Alec stayed, as well as Renata, and Felix. Chelsea waited for a moment, thinking of how useful she could be to him, but Aro waved her off. And then there was Demetri, who smiled at me in a way that made me understood he, too, knew my dedication to Bella. He thought of how he could please her in the way I couldn't. I cringed at the way his beady little eyes followed each one of Bella's moves. Now that he knew Aro could not read her—something _none_ of them thought they'd ever witness—he wanted her in a way that rivaled Aro's.

I wanted to rip his eye balls right out of their sockets.

Aro and Caius watched us. A smile crept up on Caius' face.

"I wonder, Aro, if her power is only mental?" Caius sneered. His thoughts imagined Jane, leveling both of us to the ground. It was unusual for him to become involved in Aro's amusements, but in this case, his despicable personality and taste for suffering won out. "We could test it."

"No!" I yelled, letting Bella's hand fall to her side and stepping between her and the Volturi rulers. My reaction had been hasty, they all knew it. The guard smiled menacingly, all of them hoping that Aro would allow Bella's obvious talent to be tested, if for nothing more than sport. Though the levels of their resentment for our lifestyle varied, each of them still believed theirs was superior. To some, we were spitting on the natural order of things. To others, we showed no respect for their rules and laws—interacting with humans for more than sustenance was deplorable. And still some, like Jane and Alec, only craved the pain and anguish that their sadistic nature could bring. Regardless of their reasons, they hoped that Aro would allow it. They wanted to see a show.

Especially now that I was obviously protecting Bella from Jane's gift.

Aro pondered this, flip flopping between allowing Jane to play with us, and waiting to see what our answer would be to his proposition. Jane sensed his hesitance, and pouted.

"Master," she purred, "Let me show you how well I can do. Let me play with her."

That was enough for him, enough cause to shoot her down. He'd already been played too much today, he didn't want to be _told what to do_ anymore. He alone would decide how the rest of this played out—on _his_ terms.

"Enough!" Aro hissed. Jane was taken aback, startled by the way that he snapped at her. Apparently, as she was his little pet, he didn't do it often. The entire guard, in fact, was surprised at the way he hushed her. Aro realized this and smiled down at her lovingly. "Not now, Jane. Our guests have had a long evening. There will be time for that later."

In truth, even Jane was of no concern to him at this moment. He was single-mindedly planning his next move. I didn't doubt his word that Jane would have a chance to play with us later. I hoped we'd be gone by then.

He looked at me, the way that I was standing between her and him, the way my hands were out to my side to shield her. He contemplated reading my mind then, but the truth was that he would do it eventually. There was time, as he'd said. As far as Aro was concerned, he had already won, because in his mind, he would not only learn all of our secrets, one way or another, but he would also add us to his collectables. He would have us, now, it was just a matter of _how_.

There was no time, however, for further banter. He'd fully exhausted it. He smiled at me.

_I suppose there's no use for pleasantries anymore. Is there, Edward?_

"I know why we are here, what you want. You have no need to try and placate us." It was a partial lie. I knew what it was that Aro craved most of course, and I knew that he would stop at nothing to get it. I was still lost, however, as to how he knew that he _needed_ to draw us here in the first place. How had he known that Bella would potentially make a valuable asset to his guard, enough to summon us to Volterra? How did he know that _now_? All he'd seen was a shield, which he had to some extent already. Granted, she was a stronger shield than he'd ever felt before. But what would cause his interest now, when he only knew that she could _mentally_ shield? There was no proof yet that she could do more, even though I knew better. _Why would he stop at nothing?_

I knew how remarkable she was, but how did _he_?

Or perhaps, was he only utilizing her to get to the rest of us? To Alice and me? Did he simply get _lucky, _with the fact that she was special too? Had he lured us here under the guise of meeting the newest member of our family only to be surprised that she too was special?

I couldn't answer any of these questions, and he wasn't feeding them to me through his mind. He was continuing to block me.

"Wonderful!" Aro exclaimed, clapping his hands again like a spoiled toddler. "I do so hate the charade. I grow tired of it. So then, you already know what I am going to ask. And not only from your remarkable ability."

_Join me, _he hissed in my head.

"And you know our answer," I told him. "Respectfully, of course."

Aro became angry, but only for a moment. He had already anticipated that I would answer him "no." He hadn't even needed to ask the question aloud, or I, answer aloud. The plays were already ascertained, all the moves determined before the game even began. He smiled, seeing the match set out before him, like it really was a game.

"That's a _pity_," he said through his teeth. "Knowing what I can offer you, the power I can allow you. I can show you the full extent of our world, you know. Show you what you _could_ have. What you, as superior creatures, were designed to have."

"Once again, we respectfully decline."

Aro made a big show of sighing, showing his fake concession to my answer. If it were only so easy to say no to the leader of the vampire world.

"Well, then. I suppose there is nothing more to _say_ on the matter."

Had I not been able to read his mind, I might have believed the easy way he seemed to allow us our leave. I might have believed that his words were the truth, they were so utterly convincing. But I _could_ read his mind, and even though he did not allow me to see his plan or the details involving it, he knew that this was not the end. It would not be easy—in fact, I knew then that it would nearly be impossible to escape Aro's fearsome hand.

_Do? Another story, of course, _he hissed.

"So we can leave then?" I asked, already knowing the truth. Bella sucked in a breath beside me and held it.

"Oh, dear boy! You have only just arrived," he hummed. "I have so many plans for your visit. Am sure you can understand my hesitance to let you leave so suddenly. We are only just getting to know one another! And the sightseeing, of course. Surely you'd like to show our Bella around our fair city. Very romantic, or so I'm told."

"We are expected back home," I told him, grasping for anything that would veer us away from where his mind was already headed. Aro frowned for a moment.

"I'm sure you are," he said, "but I couldn't in good conscience send you away without offering you the full extent of our hospitality."

He was not going to allow us to leave that night. Aro was worried about our quick return to Carlisle, about whether or not it was tactile advantage. Now that we knew as surely as he that Bella could not be read by him, he knew he could not let us return to Carlisle that night. He still saw Carlisle's coven as a small, talented army, not the family that we were. He planned to keep us there, in any way he could. For as long as he could. His eyes drifted over to his right—to Jane, and Alec. And Demetri.

"Demetri," he called. "Show Bella and Edward to their room. Where they can freshen up after their long flight. Traveling is so pedestrian, don't you agree?"

Demetri languidly moved from his stance next to Jane and Alec, sliding in close to Bella. He circled us, his mind ripe with images of Bella against him, moaning his name. That bastard smiled so sickeningly at Bella—_that bastard!_—thinking how very much he'd love to show her all that the room would have to offer. He was imagining her, naked, exposed, possibly wet from the modern shower there. I wanted to rip his throat out and listen to him wheeze ineffectually, and I vowed not to leave Bella alone.

Aro smiled, a saccharine sneer that made me sick to my stomach.

"Interesting thing about Demetri, you know," he said. "Amazingly talented, he is."

Carlisle had already warned me just how talented Demetri was. If we tried to go, he would know, and bring us both back. By whatever means necessary. Though, from what I could see, Demetri wouldn't be able to track Bella. Her unique signature was missing to him, and only by the fact that she was standing in front of him was he able to see her. _Thank God_. The fact that he'd never met anyone who could evade his talent had seemed to shift his obsession toward her, in a way that made him want to find her, take her, possess her in every way. I hated to think what he would do if he could track her on a whim. Me? He easily had me in his sights and could find me no matter where I was. If Bella and I were together… well, then he could find her too. I regretfully resigned that there might be a time when I sent her away from me. My chest ached painfully at the idea of even physical separation.

"I guess we have no choice to accept your offer for this evening," I said, my teeth clenched in frustration over the situation we were now in. How had I let that happen?

"I tend to get what I want," he said menacingly. He'd let his cool exterior slip. Gone was the genteel host that he'd been playing. Now, the warning echoed through the room. Raw and open for all to see.

Bella looked up at me with worried eyes, searching me. Her hand tightened on my arm, her small fingers digging in. She knew what we were up against, what Aro really threatened even though he didn't use the words. She knew enough about the dark side of our lives that she knew what he was after. But still, she didn't know what the full extent of it was, what evil could be found, even in the light. I smiled down at her, a pathetic attempt at soothing her.

Demetri led us out of the grand turret, his mind consumed with desire for the little brunette who I held close to my side.

And all I could think about was how I was going to get her out of there.

With or without me, I would.

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**End Notes: ** Hi all! Thanks again for reading. I apologize again that we're at the two-week mark again. Between crazy family stuff and my being sick within these last few weeks, my writing has been slow.

That being said, I'd like to let you know that over the next few weeks, I will not necessarily posting regularly. Expect the next chapter at regular time, but after that, there might be some down time. I AM NOT LEAVING YOU GUYS HANGING! I PROMISE! These upcoming chapters are best received together, I think, so I want to get them all ready for you and post in pretty close succession. Plus, I've decided to rework my chapter plan a bit and combine some chapters that were going to be separate. This makes for a longer process, unfortunately. Don't worry too much if you don't see an update for a few weeks. I WILL be back. With your HEA…_eventually_. (Mwahahaha!)

A few have asked me about the length. There will be 30 chapters and a potential Epilogue. All the chapters and their content are laid out—I know exactly what I'm going to do—but the epilogue may work itself into the last chapter, so we'll see. Hopefully that answers some questions. We are getting to the meat of the story now, and answers (and action? *=)*) will be coming soon.

Whew! I'm talkative today! Thanks for reading. Love you guys and your wonderful feedback! Thanks for your patience and understanding.


	20. Chapter 20:Rolling Burn, Eat Me

**Author's Note:**

Hi everyone! Thank you so much for the kind words from the last chapter. I really appreciate the warm response to this story—all the affirmation and patience from you means the world to me. I was also told that the story got rec'd a few times out there in fanfiction land, so thank you for that as well.

A note about the next few chapters in the end notes, FYI.

**Chapter 20 Playlist Song: **_**Slow Dancing in a Burning Room**_, by John Mayer.

If you guys don't listen to the music for the chapters, I highly recommend, especially for the subsequent chapters. I've been told that, at times, it plays like a movie soundtrack. Groovy, since that is exactly how I see it too. =)

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 20: Rolling Burn, Eat Me Like A Forest Fire**

The door closed softly. I let my fingertips linger on the door jamb, and sighed deeply at the state of things. How had I gone from loving and living, _finally, _to facing our demise at Aro's hand.

By the time I had turned fully around, Bella was in my arms. She'd been so strong while we stood in front of Aro—where it really counted—but here, alone with me, she was clearly shaken.

I noted her small frame, the way she fit so easily under my chin, how my arms fit around her, so that I could encompass her and protect her, how her fingers could splay against my shoulder blades.

Now, she was shaking, but it was not with passion.

I held her and rocked her, shushing her when I felt her little body quake. She wasn't crying. She was too strong for that, even in the face of adversity. But her body trembled against me and I could tell how deeply she had been affected by the proceedings in the turret. She had been such a solid rock in front of the one person who could destroy us, and now, she was aware of his power and the dark side that drove him. My poor, strong girl had looked the devil in the eye and practically laughed at him. I was very proud. And terrified.

We stood there with my arms wrapped around her tightly, her face buried against my right peck. We were just inside the doorway, barely far enough into the room to give the door clearance. It had been more important to be close and together and unified than it had been to look around the room or assess our situation further. And that was fine with me. For just a moment, I wanted this. For less time than we should have had, I wanted her in my arms. I wanted to feel the heat from her body again, the presence of her grounding me and giving me a tiny hint of hope.

I had pushed our earlier encounter in the meadow out of my mind the entire time that we'd been here in this place, promising myself I wouldn't dwell on it—if I did, I worried I might lose my focus for what was sure to be something that required all my aptitude—but now, in the cold quiet of this ancient tomb, I could _feel_ her again. She _was_ warm, brushing against me softly, seeking my comfort for the ordeal that we'd only just begun. She was amazing and powerful and so sure when she needed to be.

I allowed myself this moment, this collection of seconds, to embrace her, like she was my lover. I held on as she sought my comfort. I imagined her arms on my shoulders, pulling, griping, needing. I imagined her lips on my neck and her nose as it ran along my Adam's apple. I dreamed up the way her breath tickled my ear and the way that her cheek pressed softly against mine.

But then, I wasn't imagining it anymore.

I almost didn't understand when she pulled away from me and rose up on her tiptoes. Her lips pressed against mine, gently and fearful at first—warm and full-soft and tender. It surprised me, and I kept my eyes open to watch her for a moment, making sure I understood the movements for myself. _Her_ eyes were closed, her brow furrowed. I thought she might stop because of the look on her face, but then she sighed and fell into me further.

If I thought kissing Bella the first time had been life-altering, kissing Bella again made me feel as if I'd been granted eternity.

_Soul_-altering.

A soft, breathy noise came out of her throat—or was it mine?—and she lifted herself up a little bit more, pulling on me to gain the leverage she needed. I succumbed to it, embracing and diving into it, and my hands tightened on her lower back to help her. She opened her mouth just a little bit, and her lips played a game with mine. We were gentle, but as I kissed her and she kissed me, and as we both poured our frustration and need and worry into the kiss, the more I wanted the world to end right here, so that this was the last thing I had and so that we couldn't lose anymore ground. Her tongue peeked out and licked my lower lip, and this time I _did_ groan, the sweet wetness that I'd never known I'd needed so much. She allowed me to hold her tightly, pull her harder, lift her higher, so much so that I thought if she wasn't a newborn, I might break her.

Her hands fisted in my hair, tugging and tangling, and her thigh brushed against mine. I felt like we were falling.

But then she pulled away quickly, leaving me feeling cold like I'd not felt in a lifetime.

"I'm sorry," she said, all out of unnecessary breath and stumbling. Her fingers lifted to her lips and she held them there, as if she were making sure they were still there. My heart sank as my brain began to process the words she had just spoken, ones of regret and sorrow. I wanted to tell her it didn't matter to me that she had just kissed me that way—just the opposite—or that she used me for an outlet to her anxiety. I wanted to tell her that she didn't have to be sorry because even if she didn't want me for anything more, I would never ask anyway.

_This is all I'll ever want. Use me. Take me. Whatever, whenever._

"Sorry?" I said instead. I sounded far away to my own ears, a little lost.

She nodded quickly and licked her lips, and just when I thought she'd step away from me, she sighed and wrapped her arms around my waist tightly. The way she was holding me was like she was trying to soak up my strength—not that I had any to begin with. Her head fit so nicely against where my heart should have beat. _Was it beating now?_ It felt that way.

"I was too forward, wasn't I?" she said against my chest. I inhaled sharply and held the air there, as if it might save me from answering her. She leaned back and looked up at me. And all I could do was look down at her sadly.

"I've ruined everything," she continued. "He looked so mad out there, Edward. I'm so sorry that I was too outspoken. I just… I couldn't help it."

Like the gears of a clock that had frozen and rusted, I simply stopped.

"Wait... _what_?"

"Aro," she said again, sighing and pointing to the closed door. "Out there. I'm sorry for being so forward, for testing his patience. I can't believe I stood up to him. I should have let you do the talking, played my part."

"You're talking about Aro?" I repeated.

"Of course," she said, her lips at my chin, "What did you think I meant?"

"_That's_ what you're sorry about," I said again, dumbly, really speaking to myself. I was having a hard time wrapping my head around her words, though I'd made her repeat them for me so many times. I wanted to believe she didn't resent that kiss that we'd just shared, but as much as my mind could hold and as intelligent as I could be at times, I could hardly understand what she was saying to me in this moment. Her lips running over my jaw line didn't really help much.

"Yes," she said again, sighing. She stepped away from me and I saw that she was worrying her lip under her teeth. "I shouldn't have stood up to him the way I did. He thinks that we're fighting him. Already. Doesn't he?"

I was secretly jumping for joy, happy that she'd not just said to me, _I'm sorry that I kissed you, _butI could see the worry in her eyes, thinking that she'd escalated things with her nonchalant demeanor. So, I tried to focus on her and what she perceived was a terrible move. Unfortunately, what she didn't know was that we'd never had a chance. Aro had not invited us here to _meet_ us, or to gain intel against Carlisle's newest addition. Aro wanted us here to acquire us.

"Yes," I told her hesitantly, "he does think that."

I saw the panic in her eye and immediately rushed to where she now stood in the center of the room, taking her hands in mine.

"But, Bella, I'm proud of you—_so_ proud of you—for what you did out there. There's no telling what Aro would have done, even if you'd have remained quiet. He's too unpredictable. Even Carlisle and all his thoughts and memories couldn't have prepared me, I'm afraid. But you? You did so well. I'm very proud. And surprised. And impressed, to tell you the truth."

"You are?" she whispered, and I nodded. She offered me the sweetest smile. Then her brow furrowed again. "What do we do now?"

I sighed. I finally took a moment to look around the room. It was not all together uncomfortable, laid out like we were staying in an Etruscan bed and breakfast. The room appeared normal, lavish even from the time period in which it was from. It didn't see a lot of use, but I knew that it had been recently seen to, in anticipation for our arrival.

It wasn't an overtly large room, but there was enough room for a small sitting area to the left of the door that consisted of a long, metal-slatted and plush red sofa and matching chair, with a low granite table in the center. Toward the far wall there was a long stone chaise, and a few vases throughout the room, each of them holding big bunches of blood-red and black roses.

A modern bathroom had been built into the existing structure, making the room smaller than it had originally been. We wouldn't need the facilities, but perhaps Bella would be thankful for use of a shower.

On the wall to our right was a large pedestal bed, piled high with pillows of all sizes, in reds and blacks and golds. Hanging from the ceiling were soft gauzy pieces of fabric, creating a canopy around the bed on two sides. Red velvet that matched the sofa hung from the ceiling to the floor at the head and foot of the bed, fully encompassing it. I tried to avoid looking at the bed. A large, comfortable bed…we didn't sleep. My mouth went dry for a moment.

But there were no windows through which we could climb out, not that that would have been a good idea anyway. There were two, small lancet windows higher up on the walls, but they wouldn't open, neither would Bella nor I be able to squeeze through them. The room was lit only by a few ancient oil lamps that were placed throughout the room.

Outside the door, two of the Volturi stood watch. I could hear their thoughts clearly. One of them was Santiago, his mission apparently not done yet after retrieving us from the States. He was irritated about the task, but only just a little. It would do no good for him to harbor feelings of anger and bitterness for the task his master set him on. Aro could see that should he choose to take his hand, and resentment of any kind would only irritate Aro against him.

The other guard was none other than Demetri. Venom pooled around my teeth with hatred. Had he not had a vested interest in Bella, he would have, too, felt this job below him. Instead, he was monitoring us _very_ closely. Each movement from our side of the door caused him to perk up and take note. I was once again thankful for the fact that he couldn't see Bella with his talent.

It was cold in the little room—too cold for a human—the only warmth coming from the burning lamps. It _looked_ like hotel, but it felt as cloying as any cell they could have put us in. And had a feeling that was exactly what it was. At least they hadn't tried to separate us.

Yet.

"We wait, unfortunately," I answered her finally. "He's got something planned. He's got guards outside the door."

Her eyes widened in realization that they were likely listening to us and she nodded. I leaned into her, pulling her close to me. The contact calmed me slightly.

"I need you to promise me something. I will do everything I can to stay with you, but if we get separated—" I hesitated, just as another vision of my Bella flashed through the mind of that vermin outside our door. He was becoming obsessed with her in every way possible, and I was now having a difficult time blocking him out. He saw himself in here with her, laying her down on the bed and covering her with his body, as she begged and pleaded for him. My stomach rolled at the absurd image, and I squinted, wishing away the thought of her hot and needy for him.

"What is it?" she whispered, her fingers running over my jaw with her concern.

"If we get separated," I said softly, only for her ears. "I want you to make sure you are _never_ alone with Demetri. He's…_interested_ in you."

"Eww," she said, making a disgusted face. "He's the slimy one who was watching me like I was a steak, wasn't he? Don't worry, Edward. I'm not only a vampire now, but was trained by my father how to bring a man to his knees should he deserve it. I am assuming the plumbing works the same way, vampire or human."

I snorted. She didn't fear him. I was thankful for that, regardless of the fact that he was deplorable in every way. But I imagined—as did he—that he would have ways of beguiling her. He was already thinking of them, planning them for a time when Aro grew tired of me and allowed him to have her.

"Still—" I started, unable to finish my train of thought when she reached up and put her lips against my jaw again. It was _extremely_ distracting.

"As if he had anything I could want," she whispered. "But just don't leave me, and we'll be fine."

She stepped away from me and went to sit on the bed. I watched her, completely frozen as she tested out the bounciness of the mattress and fingered the soft gauzy curtains. I physically had to shake myself in order to look away.

"I should call Carlisle," I said quickly.

I pulled out the phone from my pocket, thankful that they hadn't absconded with it. I was expecting it, but I supposed they wouldn't expect me to get much use out of it, in the thick stone walls of the castle.

"Will you be able to?" she asked.

"Jasper put in a high-tech, boosting receiver. He'd expected we'd all need it when we moved, depending on where we were going to be. We tend to stick to more remote areas. I'm hoping it will do, even here."

I saw that, if I stood closer to the slatted windows, I could get enough reception to make a decent call. I quickly pressed the number to dial Carlisle. He answered almost immediately.

"Edward," he breathed. "Thank God! Are you safe? Is Bella?"

"We're safe," I told him, "though I have no idea how long that will last. He's ruthless."

"Quite. What's happened?"

I told him the events that lead up to this moment, including the way that Bella had seemed so strong in front of Aro. And how that had angered him, sending him into a tailspin.

"I don't know what to make of all of it, son. I know that Aro is conniving and will stop at nothing to get what he wants, but he had never been so forward before. There has always been a choice before. I don't know what is coming your way."

"I know," I sighed, knowing that Carlisle couldn't help me anymore. I'd known that before I even called him. This was simply me, telling him that we were still alive. For now. I sighed, tried to distract him from what I knew were his own guilty thoughts about sending us alone here. "What is going on at home?"

"Jacob is here. And some of the pack," he said. "They are aware of the situation, doing patrols and sitting vigil with us. It's been…interesting."

I chuckled sadly at his tone.

"I take it that is stressful?"

"The bond we've formed now is tenuous at best," he sighed. "We are trying to teach them. Emmett and Jasper are leading training sessions to further equip them, and Esme and Alice are doing their best to help ease them, but this is an odd sort of treaty. I feel we've evolved in some ways. Though, without Bella here, some of them are more helpful—some of them less."

I imagined I knew exactly who was less helpful without Bella around.

"And I'm sure Rose is being obliging as always," I said sarcastically.

"Be kind, Edward," my father admonished, but then laughed uncomfortably. "She's trying."

There was silence for a moment.

"You think that they are going to come to Forks regardless," I said, trying to keep my voice as low as I could to avoid Bella's hearing—and the guards' outside—but of course she perked up and was at my side in an instant.

'Yes," he said sadly. "From what you've said, I believe more than ever that Aro will use whatever he can to keep you there. But if you don't stay with him, he will see to getting Bella another way. And you too. We're being prepared. For our sakes, for yours, and for the humans here."

I let this seep in. Carlisle had faith that Bella and I would escape Aro's grasp at some point, but then what? He wouldn't simply _let Bella go_. Not when he'd gone to so much trouble to get her here, especially seeing only the very surface of what she could do. To what lengths would he go if he knew she could potentially do so much more than blocking out his thoughts?

"Have you and Jasper figured out anymore about Bella's talent?" I whispered.

"We've been going over the tomes that I have, but admittedly, there isn't much to go off of. All we really know is what we've seen from her."

It was true, and I worried there wasn't much precedent to compare Bella to. Sometimes, that is how our talents worked.

Eleazar had said she was a shield. I had no doubt about that, but what if the part of her that was a "shield" was blocking out the _rest_ of her gift too?

She could block me, and could even as a human, a latent tendency that was strong enough to best our kind. But Alice could see her future, it seemed. She could also keep Aro out of her head, and consequently out of her past and memories. Marcus couldn't see a bond to me and Demetri couldn't track her. A totally mental shield wouldn't allow Alice in, would it? I wasn't sure.

And then there was that whole thing with the wolves and the seemingly powerful wall she had erected to protect herself. Was that a physical manifestation of her shield, or something more?

One that didn't seem to keep me out, as I'd easily brought her to the ground where the rest of my family bounced back like rubber balls.

I shared all of the new facts about her abilities with Carlisle, what effect each of the Volturi _didn't _have on her, as quietly as I could.

"I agree, Edward. It's perplexing. I believe her gift is extensive, more than we really even could fathom, but we can't possibly know in full what she's doing until we see more. Or until she grasps it. Keep an eye on it. It might be valuable."

"It already has been," I told him. Had Aro been able to read her, our situation might have been very different.

There was another long pause. I knew what was coming.

"Do you want me to come, Edward? I will," he said softly into the phone. "This very moment."

"No," I told him, knowing that Aro would only be angrier should Carlisle choose to come now when he could have come with us before. And then not bringing Alice along? I couldn't protect both him and Bella. "Stay with them and help them. I will call you again when I can."

He sighed. The both of us knew that the phone call might be long in coming, or not at all.

"Alright, son. Protect each other."

"You too," I whispered, and the line went dead.

I closed the phone and ran my hands through my hair. Bella was watching me carefully.

"They think he'd go there," she said. It was not a question, but I could hear the hope in her voice that I thought differently. I didn't need to be able to read her mind to know she was thinking of Charlie Swan, and Alice, and Esme, Carlisle, and likely Jacob Black too. She already knew some of what the Volturi were capable of, and she'd yet to see the great extent of their powers.

I wanted to offer her something, but there was no telling what they would do if Aro didn't get his way.

"It's important that they are prepared," I told her simply.

She turned to me, biting her bottom lip again.

"And what should _we_ be prepared for?" she said.

"Anything," I whispered. "Everything."

I took her hands in mine and played with her fingertips. She was so delicate, her fingers so small. But she _wasn't_ small, or fragile, or weak. She was strong. She'd need to be for all of this.

"Aro wants us as part of his guard. Me, because of what he _knows_ I can do, and you, because he has only seen a tiny glimpse of what you can do. He will stop at nothing to get us to join. And I don't know what _that_ even means. He is not above anything. He's very carefully keeping me out, but I know now that I knew nothing before of what he is capable of."

She only nodded, and I wondered if I'd said too much. I didn't want to frighten her, but there was no way I could lie to her about what we might face. I now knew that this would not be a quick visit like I'd hoped, and telling her less than the truth could be dangerous for both of us. If she was unprepared, I might lose her.

"I wish I knew what it was that I was really doing," she said. "I don't understand how it is that I can block you out, or how I did that when Jacob and the rest of them were running towards us."

I had the ability to read the thoughts that were going through everyone's heads, so I knew a little bit about how some gifts worked. For Alice, her gift relied completely upon the outside world, of the choices that others made. She could bring up visions she'd already seen, or try to focus on a specific event or individual to try to tunnel her visions, but it was not a guarantee, and she was at the hands of the world.

For others, like Eleazar or Jasper, or even me, it was an innate experience. If we concentrated, we could focus it and manipulate it or block out the ability, to some extent, but it never really went away. Even without trying, our gifts were there, and there was no relief. They were as much a part of us as a tick or a physical trait.

And still others, Like Aro's guard Renata, or Jane, could fully control their gifts. Those that had a handle on it could manipulate it to the greatest extent of the power. Like a separate entity entirely, those vampires could wield it like a weapon…or like a shield.

But even then, I could only know how it worked if they themselves had a decent grasp on the way it was able to be manipulated. Most vampires learned early on how to utilize it. Their minds taught them to give them the greatest opportunity for domination—for survival. Of the fittest, in the vampire's case. But that didn't seem to work for Bella. She wasn't yet able to grasp or control or even understand. Perhaps her gift was even more vast than I imagined. Perhaps it was even too vast for her.

The truth was that each kind of gift _felt_ different in their minds. Even if they couldn't understand it, each type of gift evoked a unique feeling, produced a unique mood on response. Emotions swirled around each talent like it was an entirely different being. I'd learned that, both from hearing their thoughts while utilizing their gifts and by knowing Jasper. He knew better than anyone what a gift _felt_ like inside a person.

"What does it feel like?"

She cocked her head to the side, closed her eyes, and thought for a long while.

"It's the weirdest thing—even more so than just being a vampire. At least that I can wrap my head around. It's like a pushing and pulling deep inside of me, and I'm trying to keep it balance on just one spot. I don't know _what_ I did, but I wanted it to happen. I wanted the ability to stop all of you. That is what I was thinking the whole time. _Stop, just stop_, I kept thinking. I just wanted to keep all of you away from each other. Protect you all."

Interesting. But not me?

"Are you always thinking about keeping me out," I asked her playfully, trying to dispel the lost look in her eyes. She smiled a strange kind of smile. I swear, had she had the ability, she might have blushed.

"No," she said softly, "though there have been times that it's come in very handy."

She played with the hem of her shirt for just a moment, averting her eyes while I watched her carefully. She hadn't dressed up for the occasion of meeting with the Volturi. Her hair was loose around her shoulders, long waves of dark hair curtaining her cheeks, the way her head was bent. She was wearing jeans, dark ones that accented her long, strong legs without being indecent. Her deep purple long-sleeve top hugged her curves, but still allowed her modesty. She was not like Alice, who wore the most cutting-edge designs, right off the runway—sometimes pushing the boundaries for what was acceptable in a sleepy little town like Forks. She was not like Rose, who dressed to impress to keep people away. She wasn't flashy, or explicit, or extroverted. She was simple, comfortable. And she was the most radiant creature…just the way she was.

I went and sat down on the bed, taking her hand and pulling her with me. I surprised her, I think, because her eyes shot to mine and then to our hand where I was tracing little patterns on it.

"I want to help, and I want to understand," she whispered. "But I don't know how. I feel like just as I'm starting to grasp something, there is one-hundred times more things that I don't understand."

"I know," I told her softly. "That is normal. You're _supposed_ to be figuring this out slowly, taking _years _to find your vampire self. A newborn isn't supposed to be making trips across the world, or trying to force their gift, or fighting with giant wolves that used to be their family friends. You shouldn't be worrying about losing your life or joining the Volturi. I wish that it was as it is supposed to be. I wish that I had done better for you."

"Again with this, Edward?" she said softly. There was no accusation in her voice, no teasing and rebuking as there had been in the past. I was met with worried eyes and a melancholy expression. "Again with the self-flagellation and regret? I know you are sorry—I _get _that—but as much as I hate that we are here, I don't blame you for it. You know that, right?"

"I blame myself," I told her.

"Why? Because you changed me? That's ridiculous. I could say the same thing about myself, choosing to drive home that night when I should have known better. Or for the person that threw the party that I was at. Or how about the fact that I didn't actually want to go, but my dad made me go? Should I blame it on him? Then there is my mom. If she wouldn't have decided to travel with my step-dad, I might not have ever been in Forks at all."

Bella paused, and a lump formed in my throat. How many countless decisions had brought her to me, ones that spanned her entire life? Or _my_ life. Would, if only one tiny choice had been different, she never have come to me in the first place? Would I still be the man that I was before her: desolate, empty, a shell of who I truly was when she was with me?

One small decision could change the entire order of things. _What if I'd not come home then, at that precise moment? What if I'd only been a moment earlier, or a moment later? Would she have died that night by the side of the road?_ I leaned forward to expel the immense pain that shot from my heart to my belly at that thought.

_What if I'd returned that first week?_ How would everything be different if I'd chosen to come back to Forks right away, when I was sitting up in Denali, itching to investigate the pretty little human girl with the quiet mind and tantalizing scent? Would I still love her the way I did now? Would I have _murdered_ her? _Would she be a vampire?_

Or was all of this meant to be, just as it was?

Certainly, I felt guilt, for this meeting with Aro and his idiots, for the fact that she'd had to die in the first place, for the pain of her leaving her father. I likely always would, but sitting with her there and hearing her words gave me new clarity I'd not had before. She was here, not just from my one decision, but the collective of many, and I couldn't take responsibility for them all. Not when having her with me was nothing short of everything.

Bella sighed.

"You are egotistical and melodramatic, Edward Cullen," she said, smiling softly. "But not everything is your fault. And I've never blamed you. For anything. Even this."

Bella got up and began to walk around the room. Already, her vampire senses had attuned her to the small space that enclosed us. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply as she kept walking, and I could tell that she was lost in her own head, in a place I might never be.

Beyond these doors were things I couldn't control. They were not good—decidedly the opposite—and I knew that, but I couldn't take all the blame for it. Our talk had made me surprisingly more aware of things. She turned me on my heels again.

I was not of the mindset to just let things go. It wasn't in my nature to let whatever will be, be—I wasn't a que sera, sera kind of guy. I couldn't. Wouldn't. But I knew that the world didn't play into my hand entirely either.

Perhaps, Bella's gift was more than the fact that she could manipulate the world around her.

Perhaps Bella's gift was more about manipulating me.

* * *

The sun was rising over the horizon now, its light mixing with the deep, cool tones of the nighttime. I could see little of the sky from where I sat watching Bella, but the morning pinks and oranges began to creep their way across the sky casting their hues on the room. Bella had been pacing for three hours, her soft footfalls making scuffing noises across the stone floor.

Outside the door, we were still being monitored. Bella continued to unknowingly block out Demetri, and I was privy to the thoughts he harbored for my lovely girl. Had I not been in the room with her and known that she was safe, I might have killed him already. I listened especially closely to him—his desire for Bella's body made him my nemesis.

I'd never felt such rage—such jealousy, if I was being honest. I hated those men whose lives I had taken during my rebellion—they made me sick, their minds diseased with their vile natures, and it was the way that I'd justified taking their human lives. But the things I felt from their thoughts about those women that I didn't know was _nothing_ compared to the hatred that I had for Demetri because of _his_ thoughts towards Bella.

I vowed that I would kill him for it. One way or another.

I'd watched Bella the whole while as she moved about our small enclosure. She'd not said much, barely looked at me. Her forehead was creased, her mind full of all sorts of things that I was not privy to. Clearly, in her opinion, that was a good thing.

The air crackled and peaked with the energy in it. The mood had shifted after we'd had our talk in which she told me, once again, that she didn't blame me for this life. It was nothing I hadn't heard before, but her tone had been new. She'd told me countless times not to apologize to her anymore, or that she was happily embracing vampirism, but the conversation we'd had earlier seemed to truly upset her.

Before, when we'd first come to the room, she'd leaned on me, embraced me. _Kissed_ _me_. Now, she was quiet, solitary, seemingly sad. Every now and then, she'd tilt her head, and her lips would move as if she were speaking to herself. Then, she'd shake her head, or mutter something so softly I couldn't hear, or stop. Her hands were nervous, she was fidgeting. I think the conversation had done that to her, and I couldn't help but feel some responsibility for it.

I didn't dare apologize to her though.

A man was supposed to feel sorrow for the pain that he brought a woman, wasn't he? Wasn't a man meant to shoulder the burden, protect her? Hadn't I failed to protect her in every way so far? I was so conflicted, the words of apology on the tip of my tongue. _Shouldn't_ I feel regret at making her feel this way?

And why was it I was even more confused than before, when not a few hours ago, she'd seemed to clarify things for me with her words?

Truthfully, I _did_ see her point of view. How angry would I have been if Carlisle had kept saying out loud how sorry he was for changing me? Granted, he _did_ think it often enough in the first few years that he'd changed me. But even in that, he'd had the accompanying thoughts to go along with it: _I'm sorry_ you're hurting; _I'm sorry_ that you are unhappy; _I'm sorry_ that there wasn't another way for me to save you.

Had I not been privy to the rest of the sentences, and he'd just said, "_I'm sorry_," would I have thought he meant, _"I'm sorry my decisions brought you here to me?"_

I was about to ask her if she misinterpreted my apologies to mean that's how _I_ felt, when she spoke.

"This isn't what I want," she said. I was taken aback by her words, stunned and stricken. She was speaking again, but what was she _saying?_

"What?" I hazarded. She pointed between us.

"This," she repeated. "This… _distance_."

Faster than any human could follow, she was next to me, over me, around me. She stood in front of me, her thumbs and fingertips on my jaw and cheeks and eyelids and lips. I just watched her, a little dazed and disoriented, but fully cognizant of her. I looked into her eyes and realized that no matter the cause, I never wanted distance from her again either.

"We're stronger together," she whispered, her lips close to mine. I could feel the warm moisture from her mouth, and I licked my lips, if only get a taste of it for myself. "And no matter what you think—no matter the regrets you have from all of this—this is where I want to be. I need you Edward. I'm not going to be able to do anything without you."

She pressed her lips to mine, tenderly tentative at first, and then with growing hunger. She was gentle, but needy. Her lips were wet and delicious, ripe and plump like berries from my human life but so much sweeter. She tasted like girl and strength and fear and desire all rolled into one. And I kissed her back, wrapping my hands around her and pulling her onto my lap. It was agony like I'd never known in all my years as a human and then a vampire. It was torture. It was the most exquisite thing.

I was burning, here in this room, under her fingers and thighs and tiny woman body, I was on fire. Around me, the world could have been falling apart. Outside the door, the earth could have been splintering and degrading, and all that would matter is the woman here in my arms. I was alit. She was the fuel. This slow burn, the way that she was in my arms—close, nearly in me, through me, breathing me—was what she wanted.

What I wanted.

What we both _needed_.

It might kill us.

It might _save_ us.

_We're stronger together_, she'd said.

Truly? Then why did I feel so out of control, so at her mercy? Was this what real strength was meant to feel like, this agonized, dangerous all-consuming fire?

_Yes._ Whether that was what each little decision had meant to lead to or not, it was there and so, _so _powerful. I _felt _stronger. With her in my arms, I realized then, I'd always felt more real, more myself, just…_more_. I felt complete when she teased me, when she laughed like pure light, when she touched me and admonished me and let me read to her. Being with Bella was just right.

We kissed. I _kissed_ her, something I was still amazed at doing. In all my deepest, darkest fantasies, I never imagined it would be like this. This little creature let me _kiss_ her. That fact alone made me feel as if nothing else mattered.

Her hands were in my hair. Her thighs tightened around me, where they rested at my hips, and she seemed to rise up above me, pulling me to her with every caress of her tongue and bite of my bottom lip. She moaned softly, the sound shooting directly to my belly. To my groin. I wanted her.

The splintering earth groaned and creaked and then smashed into the wall.

Bella and I both startled at the sound of the large, barred door swinging open. She had me so distracted I wasn't paying enough attention to the minds that were around us. We both looked over, where Felix and Demetri were waiting, eyeing up our display. Felix was bored; Demetri was livid. Though there was nothing outwardly scandalous about the way Bella was perched on my lap—inwardly, I was dying—the fact that it could have easily led to more angered him.

Demetri contemplated us with a mix of fascination, lust, and fury. In that moment, he'd have done anything to have been on this side of the door. He lusted for her in a way that rivaled me.

I gently lifted Bella off of me and placed her feet on the floor next to me. She swayed just a little, as unsteady on her feet as I imagined she was as a human. She stayed close, her hand wrapping around my bicep.

"Aro's waitng," Felix said impatiently. In his head I could see that they'd all assembled. We would be the last to arrive. He was annoyed that we were either too comfortable here or too desirous to care that Aro waited. _Like teenagers, _he thought.

We followed Felix down the corridor, back to the great turret where Aro held court. Demetri followed behind, his thoughts on Bella's long brown hair, and the shape of her hips, and the way her long legs rose up together to her delicious…

"Enough" I growled at him, turning on my heel and stopping our procession. "I will rip your eyes out of your skull if you don't control your thoughts."

Both Bella and Felix were watching us with concern. Demetri laughed.

"You don't like the way I'm looking at your pretty little toy? When Aro's done with her, she'll want nothing to do with you," he said menacingly. "And then, you'll have to listen to her screaming my name while I _fuck_ her."

"I'll rip your head from your neck and send you up in flames before I let you lay a single finger on her," I hissed.

He laughed again. Felix stepped between us, placing his hand on my chest and pushing back with enough force to move me just a bit.

"Enough of this!" he said. "Aro will rip you _both_ apart if you don't knock it off. Let's go!" He pushed me again, this time pulling Demetri along too.

Felix was thinking how dangerous this was, that he was angry that he'd been called on to accompany Demetri to retrieve us, how stupid Demetri was being. Though, of course, Aro already knew of Demetri's growing obsession with Bella. He'd not said it to anyone out loud, but Felix silently wondered if Aro might, at some point, use Demetri as a method of coercion.

Depending on what he might do, I thought it could potentially be a very good method. There wasn't much I _wouldn't_ agree to, to keep Bella away from that filth.

Demetri wouldn't easily be spurned. Not when he hoped Aro would reward him with Bella as his prize.

Felix opened the wide doors once we reached them, allowing us access once again to the chamber. Aro and Caius were atop their thrones as before. Marcus was absent this time, as were some of the others who had been there when we first arrived. The rabble was gone, the faces of those that had no bearing on our visit at all.

"Oh, good," Aro said pleasantly. "Bella and Edward are back! Were you able to freshen up a bit from your long visit?"

"Yes, Thank you," I said. It seemed the guise of hospitable host was back. I didn't doubt that nothing had changed.

"Wonderful," he said with glee. "Now, down to business."

He rose from his seat, coming down to the round, grated circle, but not entering into it.

"You know that I want you to join me here," he said tenting his fingers in front of him as he walked around us. I followed his movements, him circling us like a vulture over carrion.

He paused waiting for my reaction, Bella's reaction. When neither of us offered, he continued his walk, coming to stand in front of us again.

"I can offer you so much: a prominent place in my guard, prestige, strength. And freedom. I only ask for your allegiance… and the occasional use of your talents."

I knew what that meant.

"No," I said, "We're flattered, of course, but no."

He narrowed his eyes at me, angry that I'd said no more often than he'd have liked.

"And they say chivalry is dead," he laughed. "You answer for our Bella, then?"

"He does," she said, stepping only slightly away from me. "I appreciate the offer, but I would like to go home to the rest of our family. That is the life I want."

"You're _family_?" he scoffed. "Who sent you here, to me, all _alone_? You want to return to that? Where is their loyalty, hmm?"

"I'm not alone," she said, her chin darting out petulantly. "I'm with Edward. Right where I am supposed to be."

Aro's eyes lit up, his brain swimming with strange elation. He looked over to Chelsea and signaled to her. His face was dangerous, excited and wild. He watched as she focused her energy into the bond that ran from me to Bella, the one bond that only I could see. And the bonds with our family far away.

There was absolute quiet as Aro, Caius, and the rest of the guard watched as Chelsea tried to wield her talent. Try as hard as she might, however, there was no wavering. I didn't feel any pull toward Aro, or feel my bonds to my father lessen any. Just the opposite in fact—I missed him and Esme and Alice and even Rose so much in that moment that I nearly staggered. _Home_—that's what I wanted, and Bella at my side. As my partner.

No matter what she did, Bella and I stayed strong next to one another. Bella didn't move either, her hand in mine, her face coolly calculating, as she watched Chelsea try to divide us. There was a smug satisfaction on Bella's face as she watched the ancient vampire try to outdo and undo her.

Bella knew a little about each of the guard. I'd told her stories in our time together, rumors of what they could do and the little that I knew, and Carlisle had given her a rundown before we left. But I could tell that, while she didn't know exactly how Chelsea's gift worked or what she was exactly trying to do, Bella was angry at her and Aro's audacity.

She knew that they were trying to divide us. And she had absolute faith that it was a pointless endeavor.

It wasn't working. Not one little bit. I didn't know if it was because Chelsea's gift didn't extend that far—if it was because we truly cared for each other as a family would or not—or if it was because Bella was fending her off with her own gift, but it was as ineffectual as if I were trying to do the same. Chelsea's face fell and she stood up straight. Aro held out his hand to her.

He closed his eyes once her hand slipped into his, and he saw instantly that she had been useless. He threw her hand away from him with disgust.

Okay, so that was plan number one. It hadn't worked. Perhaps Bella had been right after all.

_Moving on. Plan B._

Aro's voice rang out through the room. He laughed again, but there was no mirth in it this time, only anger.

"Well, It seems that you are right, my dear. You _are_ where you are meant to be. I see now that I will have to have the both of you—the whole lot of you—if I'm to persuade you at all."

"There is nothing that you can do to convince me," she whispered.

Aro smiled, his face no longer hiding his cruelty. In that one look, we could easily see what an animal he was—dangerous, feral, ravenous. If I thought I harbored a monster, then Aro was Beelzebub himself.

"Jane," he called. The little blond terror with blood-red eyes bounced forward. Had I not already heard her malicious thoughts, I would think she was just a child, an innocent with mary janes and pigtails. But Jane was not any of those things. And she delighted in the opportunity to use her powers. For pain, for torture…for fun.

Bella's eyes were wide as she looked between Jane and Aro. Jane stopped right in front of us.

"You will _not _enjoy this," she said, leaning up to whisper in Bella's ear. Bella looked at me, terror in her eyes as Jane pulled back.

"You should have done this yesterday," Caius said offhandedly to Aro.

"It's not going to work," I said, ignoring Caius' remarks and looking over Jane's head. "Even you cannot read her. There is no way she'll be able to get her."

"You are right," Aro said, seemingly considering my words. He rubbed his chin as if in thought. "Good thing, then, that Jane's power is not meant for _Bella._"

Instantly, my body became slack with white, hot pain. It coursed through me, over and over, unrelenting. Vaguely, I registered the thought that I was no longer on my feet, my knees hitting the marble below me with a resounding _crack_. Far away, as if she were underwater—or was it _me _that was drowning?—I could hear Bella calling my name, begging someone? I don't know. I knew she was close, I could still feel her, but it was like I was falling, dreaming again. But then it couldn't be a dream, because I could feel nothing but burning agony, as if my brain were melting and sputtering and bursting.

_Stop_. From somewhere far away, so far I knew I would never reach it.

_Stop._ Closer. Not too close, but closer. Maybe I am dead.

"STOP!" Bella's voice rang clearly in my mind, the pain subsiding with the echoing around the still room. I felt her hands on me at the ground, and the amused and evil thoughts in Aro's head. He took as much delight from this as Jane herself.

"Are you okay," she said softly, taking my jaw in her little hands. I nodded and rose. There was no more pain, but the memory of it was haunting.

"So you didn't like that?" Aro scoffed. "So you'll change your mind?"

"No," Bella said. Aro rolled his eyes.

"Jane."

"No!" she shouted, stepping between Jane and I and crouching as if she were a predator. I heard her growl low in her throat.

"You even think about doing that again to him, you little bitch, and I will rip your pretty little head off!" she spat at Jane.

Jane's eyes widened and Aro laughed.

"My, god! _Yes_!" he cheered, consumed. "You_ do_ have some viciousness in you! Wonderful! So much potential in you, my sweet Bella! Jane, go back to your place."

Bella was still crouched, a soft and rumbling warning growl rolling through her throat. Aro was excited about this side of Bella. In truth, I was pretty impressed myself. I'd seen her hunt, of course, and I knew she had those capabilities in her as a vampire, but I'd never seen her like this: Untamed, carnal, intense.

"You have so much power, little one. You wanted to tear her apart, _destroy her. _Magnificently! Which means, deep down inside of you, you are as dark as the rest of us."

Aro came and circled us again, thinking to himself. He _really_ didn't understand.

"Is this because of the blood, the animal thing? Because really, it's a shame to decide before you even know. Join me," he said again, leveling his gaze at her.

"No. Thank. You," she spat, annunciating each word. She was growing angrier by the second, her body coiled. I was almost afraid. And, if I was being totally honest, a little turned on.

"Hmmm," he hummed. "I _was_ afraid you'd say that."

Aro stepped back and waited. Just waited.

In only a few seconds, nearly a dozen minds echoed in my own, ones that were foreign and different, and alive. They were excited, confused, and their hearts beat with the adrenaline that spiked through them—at not knowing what lay ahead of them, of the cool dampness of this ancient place, of the excitement of experiencing something new. Not a single one of them imagined that just a little further down the corridor was fatality and destruction.

Fire ripped through my throat. It was a feeling that I'd grown accustomed to. It had only ever tempted me since I'd gained control when Bella was human, but I didn't enjoy the burning in my larynx. And I remembered what it was like when I was a newborn. I looked over at Bella in horror.

Bella tensed and seized beside me as she recognized what was meant to be the greatest desire to her. I reached over and pulled her tightly to me, so tightly that had she not been a newborn I would have been hurting her. I knew what it was like, that first, tentative scent of a human group, mulling with unease. With their pulses pounding in collective harmony, it would have been more than difficult for her—it would have been agony, this burning desire in her. She shook just a little as, step by step in human fashion, they reached us, where we couldn't escape from. Closer and closer. _One-Mississippi, two Mississippi…_

The hidden door to our left opened, banging loudly against the stone. Heidi, dressed in a tight red dress, and high, high heels stepped through, trailing a group of ten wide-eyed, camera-toting humans.

"Welcome, honored guests!" Aro said loudly to the wondering humans, men and women, young and old. His hands rose up to the ceiling like an evangelist.

Their minds buzzed at the display, and they murmured slightly at the engrossing play-acting that seemed to end their tour through the majestic city. Of course, this was not in the brochure, they thought—would ruin the excitement and surprise—but they had obviously gotten their monies worth. _Authentic, _this ancient court. This was immersive theater at its finest, a real treat, and their hearts lub-dubbed in their chest at alarming rates, each of them with their own rhythm.

It sang the most dangerous of songs. I could smell the heady stench of peril in the air.

Bella's knees gave out just a little, the movement accentuated by a soft and steady whimpering. Like ocean waves, back and forth, Bella's body was being called to.

"Aro," I said, pulling at Bella and trying to steady her in any way I could. "What the hell is going on?"

"Why, dear Edward," Aro chuckled maliciously, "it's our Isabella's coming out party!"

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**End Notes: **

1. Thanks for reading, as always. I appreciate that you guys take time out of your life to read my story. *Sigh* I just love you guys.

2. As I mentioned in the last chapter, there will be a teenie-tiny break now before I post again. I wouldn't expect _too_ long, since the following chapters are not too far of their marks. BUT, I want to be able to post chapter 21, 22, and 23 in really close succession. Say, like only as much as a few days apart. Yay for chapter updates bunched together!

I know there has been some "rollercoastering" of emotion here, and I've kept the angst at a high level. Sorry about that. It is my firm belief that if your heart doesn't hurt while you are reading that I'm not doing my job correctly. SO… it will be ouchy for a LITTLE bit longer.

That being said, I will tell you right now that you only have to worry about that for 2 more chapters. That's right, folks: no more ouchy after that, at least not between these two. This story is ultimately about the strength of their union, and you'll get the healing soon. Leading up to, of course, my promised HEA.

I hope you will all stick with me. I've got a 5-year-old ultra, mega birthday party to host in the next few days, and a 550-mile roadtrip to make, too. I will be writing during all of it. I won't give you an exact timeframe for the next update, but I don't think it will be too long (Think in terms of an extra week or so.) Keep an eye out. I promise I'm not leaving you guys hanging.

Thanks again, and I'll see you guys back here soon!


	21. Chapter 21: Piece by Piece, Pieces ofYou

**Author's Note:**

Hello everyone! Thank you for the kind reaction to the last chapter-for your patience during this brief hiatus, for your speculations, and for your trust. It is very much appreciated. _You _are very much appreciated.

I'm earning the M rating in this one. It's very dark. This chapter contains some very adult, non-sexy things. I try not to be over the top in my writing, but I believe this chapter is graphic and requires me to tell you that. This is an important chapter to the plot, but I will warn you it may be a rough one. This is the one I warned you about before, extremely painful for our protagonists.

SO, I understand that some of you might have an urge to skip some of it, just from me telling you it will be rough. But, I'm going to ask you NOT to. If you can help it,** resist the urge**. There are two parts to it. The second portion of the chapter is not violent, but skipping the first part would cause you to miss ALOT that is important to the whole story. I REALLY encourage you not to skip. That being said, I get it, if that is what you choose to do. I've BOLDED the first sentence in part two for you so you know where it begins. Following the chapter in the end notes, I will also put a short review of the chapter in case you just can't help it. Otherwise, please keep in mind, this story IS a HEA-neither Bella nor Edward die, and it **does** get better.

Bear with me. Bear with the story.

**Chapter 21 Playlist Song: Cold Water, by Damien Rice**

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 21: Piece By Piece, Pieces of You**

Slow and steady. Breath in, breath out. One moment, and then two. Like a wave, lulling over pebbles and sand and silt-_wish, wash. Ebb, flow._

Deep. Cleansing. Breaths.

Only, breathing is _not_ advised in instances such as these.

It only took a few moments for the excitement churning in the humans' bellies to turn from anticipation to fear. As time slipped away from them, their instincts began to kick in. _We_ do that to them, cause humans' heart-rates to spike and their bodies to tingle. It is what anyone would feel if they were in the presence of someone who wished their existence to end.

They could feel it now, like hot, moist air around them, weighty on their chests. The voices in their heads turned from strange amusement at their predicament to stunningly accurate terror until they were mulling and bumping one another in an effort to find some way out.

But there was no way out. Only rest.

I clenched my eyes shut to try to block out the looks in their eyes, though that did nothing to hide the tenor of their thoughts.

_I want out. Flee. Please, God, no. Get me out. Don't come near_.

Their thoughts turned to loved ones, friends, broken promises and unfulfilled wishes. When I'd found the wreck that had ultimately brought Bella to me, these are the exact thoughts that I'd anticipated hearing from her and the semi-truck driver, but never did. These humans were aware of the danger that lay in this ancient room. Perhaps they didn't know exactly why, but they knew this could be their end.

The tour guide shook himself, his eyes widening as if he too suddenly realized they were not in a safe place-at least not the place he'd intended to take them. How had he allowed it to get to this? _What had gone wrong?_ he wondered. It was fuzzy, somehow. He'd been ready to take these people on his assigned tour, end them in a quiet bistro, serve some of them too much good, heady wine, and make his profit another way. There was a few that would have worked today-not the elderly couple, but maybe the brunette with the rude husband, or the kid with his camera and his eyes always on the old ladies purse. But then _she _had appeared and then...

Heidi had charmed him, and she was only now just letting him go from her talent, the hazy, dream-like state that caused humans and vampires alike to fall at her feet. She was letting them all go, as the Volterra vampires slowly let the facade slip. Like a private dancer, taking off clothing piece by piece, they were revealing it all, inch by excruciating inch. The humans fear was growing more and more intolerable.

Everything in the room was palpable: The coursing fear, the desperate bloodlust, the anger and hate, and the trembling of the young woman in my arms.

I was grasping on to what was left of Bella's sanity. She was slipping from me.

My arms were wrapped around her, bear-hugging her to the point of my own pain. My fingernails dug into my own flesh, my corded muscles bunched and strained, but the pain I was causing myself was grounding me. It was all I could do to hold her, Bella was trembling so hard. I dug my feet into the marble on which we stood, cracking it so that I could find more purchase. It wouldn't help much, but it was something.

She'd not ever been this close to humans where she could simply rush over and take all that her body was begging her to. And she was strong, so much stronger than me. I'd never let her be in this position, where we could see just how much her body could handle, and it was something I now regretted. Perhaps, if I'd not been so careful with her, if I'd allowed her just a sniff when I'd had the support of our family around us. I'd never tested her to see what her limits were. I never made it possible for her to acquaint herself with the smell of a live human, pulsing and vibrating with life, and she'd only had a whiff from a distance, cloaked by the other, more-benign smells. She'd smelled the remnants of human on Carlisle's clothes, but it was tainted with ammonia and lemon-covered bleach. She'd smelled what my brothers and sisters smelled like after a day in the midst of teenagers, but only after they'd gone for long runs in the wet Washington wilderness. She'd smelled human in the air, washed out by rain and cool breeze and earth and sewer.

But she'd never smelled them up close, sweaty and desperate and afraid, reeking of useless survival.

Her hands were fisted at her side, her forehead creased with concentration, and she was pulsing to a steady rhythm as if she were chanting a mantra and dancing to it's beat. She was not breathing, not looking. But still, I knew that inside she was imagining the flavor of wet blood that rested just below their papery skin, and her throat burned and ripped like she was swallowing razor blades.

She'd only been a vampire for a little over a month, for Christ sakes!

I tried to steady her.

"Bella," I whispered. "Stay with me, love. Don't give in. Don't give up."

Her mind wanted to lean into me and listen to me and obey, but her body fought my embrace and the way I spoke the words on the shell of her ear, knowing that I was trying to stand in the way of it's food. Bella's heart was suffering and giving up, but her body was alive. It was taking advantage of her heart's weakness.

"_Surprise_!" Aro said, clapping his hands. The humans who were alert to their surroundings still and paying attention jumped at the sound of his voice and whimpered. Some of them were already comatose from their desperate fear. A small, brunette woman was clutching her husband close to her, grasping him so tightly it seemed that she was trying to crawl up him. A younger man with a camera had wet himself. Others were screaming, both through their throats and in their minds. A woman was begging, offering money and other unsavory propositions.

The guard encircled the small tour group, keeping their distance while still instilling ultimate fear. They were not trying to hide themselves now. There was no point. The vampires' eyes had turned black, and their faces had slipped from the guise that they wore outside the castle walls. Even a human could see that they were _not. _I knew as well as they did that there would be not witnesses leaving this room. There would be no one to tell the vampire secret to-no more reason to hide the truth.

I spun, turning Bella and pushing her against the far wall, holding her there with my body and keeping her as far from them as I could. She fought me, her hands trying to find purchase on me anywhere. She wrestled against me, levying her strength, and I knew I would not be able to hold her for very long. Her own blood from her change still gave her physical superiority, but I hoped I could appeal to the strength she possessed in her soul.

"Bella," I whispered desperately into her hair. She growled at me softly, but I saw her frantic eyes flash to mine with fear and recognition. "I'm right here. Listen to me. Don't breathe. Don't think. Focus on me, focus on the feeling of being in my arms. The sound of my voice, my hands, my arms, my hips. Don't breathe."

She snorted and tugged, but whimpered as if she were trying. She was trying! But this was even more than I could have imagined possible.

_One_. I'd thought, it was _possible_, that Aro would put one victim in front of Bella. He'd done it to Carlisle, surprising him with a bruised and bloodied victim on occasion, just to see if his resolve held. It had, of course. But that was not to convince him to join him, but rather to see the full extent of his control. Just out of curiosity.

I had not imagined that Aro would be so cruel, so calculating, as to do this to Bella. I could see it all now, in Aro's head. He would let her witness this sacrifice—force her hand to take part in it—and he knew she would see that there was no pleasure in animals blood, that the taste of it was nothing compared to the warm, wet flavor of human blood—that humans were made for this purpose, and she was made for the purpose of killing them.

I should have told her that I'd anticipated he'd try to lure her this way, but I didn't want her to burn with the thought of it, or fear it more than she already was fearing it. I didn't want her to anticipate what it would look and feel like to see a bleeding human in front of her.

But _this_? This I could have never anticipated. This I could never prepare her for. She struggled and whimpered and sunk to the floor.

She buried her head in her hands and cried. I continued to shield her from the sights in front of her, my body creating a cage around her little, trembling one.

And they hadn't even broke skin yet.

"Oh, Bella, dear!" Aro called from his throne. He was enjoying every moment of her suffering, hoping, very nearly praying for her to falter. "Come and join us! You are the guest of honor, and you are missing your _treat!_" His teeth clenched together at the end, and clearly he was not pleased that she was huddled behind me on the far wall.

The rest of the guard were amused by her reaction. And a bit annoyed. The humans were getting out of control-messy, dirty, like filthy animals-and it was ruining the experience for them.

Alec stepped forward.

"Master," he said. "Perhaps I can—"

"No!" Aro bellowed, interrupting Alec's offer to quiet the rabble with his gift. Aro did not want that. He did not want to offer them any solace. He did not want it to be quiet and easy, or anything like a buffet. He wanted blood to spatter, for them to fight, for their fear to seep from their pores. He was not only being cruel to the humans, but to Bella. He didn't want her to miss the raw savagery of the kill, the way the blood spurt so much more pleasantly-in quick, uneven jets-when it was not given freely. He didn't want their endings to be easy.

Aro wanted a bloodbath, and he wanted Bella to be the one to start it.

"Stop it!" I yelled at him over my shoulder, trying as hard as I could to still hold her. She was shaking even more violently now, little sounds coming from her throat that sounded like another language entirely. "Let her go! Can't you see what you are doing to her? This is no way to begin her life!"

Aro laughed, a low deep belly laugh that turned into a sinister growl.

"This is _exactly_ the way to start her life! You've denied her! This is the way you should have allowed it in the first place. You think I am cruel for doing this to her? You are cruel for never allowing her to!"

He looked at me and smiled.

"Even you, Edward, have had the freedom to choose. So let her choose."

From across the room, I could see the depth of his insanity, the way his hate and power and thirst swirled in his eyes. There was not a thread of decency left in Aro at this moment. Once, Aro had been a human. There had been good in him. He'd been power-hungry, greedy, afraid, but there had still been good in him. He'd smiled once with real sincerity, and he'd loved-his family, his sister, his friends. Long ago, Aro had housed humanity.

Now, there wasn't a shred of it left, all of it burned away. And Bella was having a hell of a time holding on to hers. I would kill him for doing this to her.

She continued to back herself away from the humans, so much so that the wall behind her back began to lose tiny pieces of itself onto the floor. Her body wobbled and she kept chanting her strange, foreign mantra, her hands now fisted in her hair to the point that I was afraid she might begin to pull some of it out.

Aro looked at his guard, who were watching him, waiting expectantly. They were thirsty, not just for the blood, but for the vengeance. Only one word from him, and they would be on their victims' throats.

_Let us get to it, already. Fuck the girl. Sweet, sweet fear. Burning. Mayhem. Mutilation. _

Aro sighed, seeing the way that Bella was not moving toward her kill, he rolled his eyes and waved his hand dismissively into the air. Immediately, the other members of the Volturi descended on the tour group.

The room erupted with the essence of their lives. Ending.

"Edward," Bella choked, trembling in my arms. She shook with such force that my hands began to fail me-I couldn't really hold her. "."

She kept repeating it to me, over and over, through her choking sobs. I didn't know at first what she was begging for, whether it was to get her out of there or to let her go, or to end it all. There were no tears, that was not possible, but her heart was breaking in her chest, and I thought I might be able to hear it. Maybe that was mine, right along with hers.

I looked behind me at the carnage, blood coating the floor where yesterday we had stood before Aro. Arcs splattered the white walls where the vampires had been careless. The red liquid slid slowly toward the middle of the room, down each step, coating it in crimson copper until it began to _drip, drapple, drip _into the massive pit. It steadily trickled down the great cavern where it's sound bounced of the walls and meshed with the sound of their screams and gurgles and begging.

They were playing with them, keeping them alive but making them bleed as much as possible.

All for Bella's sake, I supposed.

Felix and Afton were guarding the main entrance to the turret, both of them watching me and Bella from their places. They were ignoring the massacre to their lefts, focusing all their attention on the two of us, even pushing down their own thirst. This was their given mission, to make sure that we would not try to leave. I thought about it for a moment, the idea of trying to drag Bella out. Of course, though her voice was still begging with me, her _pleases_ starting to muddle together and become meaningless again, her body was still trying to fight me, trying to get through me to the blood. I was losing the battle.

I could take out Afton, no question. He was not one of the enforcers. But Felix? I wouldn't stand a chance, not with his immense strength, and a flailing Bella trying to fight at me to the bodies. I would never be able to get either of them. The two of us would be too slow, and the rest of the Volturi would be too quick.

The other exits were the same. The one behind the thrones was protected by Aro and Renata, and the other on the far wall that Heidi had come through was directly through the bloodbath. There was a chance that I could get to the hidden door closest to us, but in glancing at it, Felix seemed to notice. He indicated with his mind that that door was also guarded: from the other side. Behind it was another group of vampires. I could now hear them too, all of them milling and wishing they were amongst the chaos. Aro had commanded they stay, lest we try to leave, and they resented it, and us, and all the blood that was now dripping freely down the iron grate into the earth below, uselessly.

My own throat burned, my venom nearly dripping from my lips, but I ignored the usual feeling of need and want and hatred.

I looked down at Bella. Her eyes were black and shiny, so round that there was no more white in them. She looked possessed, which in fact she was. Her lips were wet with her own venom, venom like she'd never had before, greedy and wanting. No sound was coming out of her lips anymore, but she continued to mouth her pleading chant. She was looking up into my eyes with such sadness, such pain, and I saw her soul there.

Deep within her, where I didn't even think to look, was the piece of humanity that Bella still had. It was like it was buried in the recesses of where I'd never imagined it could be, this small piece of the good in us I thought didn't exist once we were changed. Bella had it, I'd known that all along—that it was in there somewhere. Of _course_ Bella still had her soul. Me? Not so much, I thought.

I don't know how I saw it, this visible representation of Bella's soul—or _if _I actually even saw it at all—but I can't deny that I knew what this vision or hallucination or actual moment meant.

I was supposed to know that she was worth protecting. Unquestionably. Her soul existed in her vampire body, and I needed to make sure it stayed there.

Inside her, Bella could never want what Aro was offering. How many times had she said no to him? She would continue to say no to him, too. I knew that. If Aro kept asking, Bella would keep answering him the same way she had been.

But that was not the part of her that was in control now. That part of Bella was locked away at the moment. The demon that I'd put into her held the reins.

"Please," she hissed. Her voice sounded too far away, too unlike herself. It was another thing altogether.

Bella was not begging me to take her _away_ from the blood.

Because in a moment, she _would_ take it. She would take it all. Her body was the one that was taking control, and her mind had already relinquished. Anything to end it, this white hot carnal need that burned her throat and clouded her mind to the point of crazy.

She was begging me to give it to her. Allow her. She wanted my permission for this one transgression, this one sin. And if I didn't give it to her, she'd take it anyway.

I hesitated for a moment, and she took the opportunity to overthrow me.

I landed on the ground with a thud, my body nearly five meters from where I had been holding her captive. Bella stood, her body so much more in control than her mind could fathom. I got up immediately, running to her and blocking her path. She growled at me, the sound low in her throat. But then, her brow furrowed and her lips turned down in a frown. She looked like she was hiccuping from the guilt the growl had caused in her. I took the moment to lunge at her, but she sidestepped me. She was just out of my reach, floundering between the need in her body and the will of her heart. She was with me there for one second, _my_ Bella, and then next, she was easily overpowered by the monster in her, the one I'd refused to believe had existed.

Back and forth, bob and weave, tit for tat and pull and tug. I didn't know which part of her would win. Because both _were _indeed part of her.

I had been so foolish in the last month and a half. To think that Bella didn't possess the same potential that we all had. Esme had slipped in her first few months, and Rose, and Emmett. I had killed out of desire just to defy my father-because I was tired of being something I didn't think I was. Jasper had spent a century killing. There was always the fight in us all, the desire to take what nature told us was rightfully ours-even now, I knew from all my family members' thoughts that it was something they had to try to control every day. Why had I expected Bella to be any different? Maybe in a different time, in another life, she could be like Carlisle. But in this one, the blood burned in her throat just as badly as the rest of us. Why had I expected her to possess so much more than any of us?

I knew the answer the moment the question formed: Because Bella _was_ so much more than us. Because Bella wasn't _supposed_ to be a monster.

I grasped her wrist, and her eyes flashed to my hand and then to my eyes. My Bella, the one that was wholly good, was still fighting in there. It was like looking at two persons in one body, her face morphing back and forth between the two. I pulled her and she pulled back.

"Please, Bella," I begged her, sinking to my knees. "Please come back to me."

The mass of victims around us electrified the room. By now, there were those that had died. I felt the way the air around us changed with each life ending. One man had succumbed to the pain, a woman had died of pure fright. The young man that had soiled himself was on the ground, his nothing eyes watching me, completely void and lifeless, but still wide open and staring as if he couldn't help but watch all of this. His brain was quiet, and I prayed for him. Me, the man that had never accepted my father's God.

I prayed.

I prayed for the rest of these humans, that they would die soon and their pain would end. I prayed that the Volturi would not win, and in the end, get my Bella. I prayed that Aro's schemes would not affect Bella, make her doubt who she was. I prayed that she would be safe and secure again, that we would see the meadow. And I prayed that she would not do what her body wanted her so badly to do. I prayed that I might be able to stop her.

Or do it _for_ her.

I never considered my soul when I was human. I was too arrogant, too young, too unconcerned about anything that I couldn't see, to even think about the presence of my soul. Out of sight, out of mind. I'd heard the word in the church services my mother had made me attend as a boy, but I'd never thought about it. I thought I'd never die then. When I woke up to Carlisle's eyes and his thoughts and his prayers, I resented the fact that my soul was already gone. Something I'd never thought of, I now regretted. And I killed, and even though I felt the guilt, I knew it wasn't a mark on my soul. _Obviously. _I didn't _have _a soul. So I'd _never_ had it. Not really. What was one more sin-one more death on my hands-when it meant saving my only salvation?

It was not what Carlisle would have ever wanted for me—for _her_. It was not what his God, or Esme, or my Bella would have wanted.

At that moment, the tour guide, who had managed to seemingly make it out alive so far came crawling away from the feast. His leg had been badly bloodied, to the point that he could no longer walk. But his fingernails tried to dig into the stone floor to pull him along, breaking and splintering and tearing at him as he pulled his full weight on the unyielding floor. The movement caught Bella's attention, and, like a bird of prey, her head shot to his figure crawling there pathetically. She cocked her head from side to side, and I knew then that my Bella was so far buried, clawing her way to the top of the monster inside her but gaining no footing. her movements were so inhuman it frightened me.

"Did you ever do anything to deserve this," I said to him, remembering the strange tone of his earlier thoughts. He looked up at me with beyond terrified eyes. There was no cohesive images or words, just pain and fear and madness. This had made him mad.

"Come on!" I yelled at him, holding and shaking him by his stained lapels. "Think!"

I wanted anything, anything that would lead me to believe that this man deserved this, what I was about to do. I needed the solace, not just for myself, but later, for Bella.

_Why. What. Why. Pain. Hate. Die. End._

I was about to give up on him, but then, in a moment of clarity, he began begging. Not to me, but to a god of some kind, any of them that he thought might forgive him.

_Ohpleaseohplease, ohplease. Just stop it make it end. I'm sorry that I led those people to that room. I'm sorry that I did it. I'llneverdoitagain. Pleaseohpleaseohplease. I didn't mean it I don't want to die I don't want to die. Just kill me now._

I saw the image of this in my mind, in _his_ mind. He'd used his job—his job as a tour guide—to do another job, one where he sold unsuspecting tourists. Though he'd no real grasp as to how far the organization had gone, he'd willing played the part, oblivious to the full understanding of it, but he'd gotten to the point where the money had made it so he didn't really care. He'd led girls, boys, children, young women, even young men when he could gain the upper hand, all kinds all ages, to be taken and trafficked all over. And there had never been any kind of remorse-not really, anyway. He turned around and walked out the door, and blocked it out with booze and drugs. He'd happily lined his pockets, happy enough to push to the back of his mind that these were daughters, sisters, some-day wives, family, friends.

It was not much, but it was enough for me. He'd said his penance.

I would say mine later. Anything to save my Bella from what would certainly haunt her for the rest of eternity. What would break her. What would maybe never bring her back to me.

Before she could move at him, I took his head between my hands, clasping his ears so that he couldn't hear his last breath, and twisted, just enough that I didn't rip him apart. And then I dipped my head down, put my lips to his jugular, and ripped it like a paper lantern. His blood poured out of him, fresh, hot, powerful. It tasted of copper and life and desperation, and it coated his cooling skin and my hand and my chin and the front of my shirt.

I held him out to Bella. For a moment, she didn't take him. She stood there, her hair framing her face, watching with wild, wide eyes. There was a torch behind her, the glow all around her. She was otherworldly, radiant, menacing. The fire that burned in her throat seemed to radiate out of her like life itself. She looked like pure power. She stared at me for a moment, and I had the sense to almost be afraid of her. She was terrifying. She licked her lips and trembled.

But then, she stilled. She sank down to the ground, and her eyes softened and her lip quaked out of thirst and fear of this strange unknown. A piece of her gave up. But she knelt down and crawled on her hands and knees beside me anyway, lowered her body, and placed her lips at the man's wet throat. I held him for her.

The moment the blood hit her tongue, her eyes widened. She hummed and closed her eyes. Her lips were soft on the man's lifeless neck, sensual in a way I hadn't expected. She was almost gentle, and I knew at that moment that my Bella was back.

What had I done? What if I had only resisted a little while, would she have been able to fight it too?

She finished, slowly, almost serenely. She closed her eyes and used her tattered sleeve to wipe her mouth. The rest of the room was in chaos still, though the human's minds were faded to the point that I could not longer hear them. A few hearts still beat, hanging on to each precious palpitation, but their lives were void. Madness was the only thing that seemed to make sense anymore.

When she was done, I shifted back onto the heels of my hands, watching her. Surely, there was enough blood around to still tempt her. But instead of rushing around trying to find her next victim, she crawled over to me and climbed up into my lap.

Her body shook with sobs, her face buried in my shoulder. She audibly wept, her lips trembling and her voice hiccuping. I felt, rather than saw the desolation that wracked her body, because I was feeling in inside me too-in me, through me, out of me. I held her close, wishing I could absorb the pain right through her skin. She wrapped her fingers around my neck and curled into my body until there was no end to her and no beginning to me.

I had my own guilt, not only for the life that I'd taken, but for the fact that I'd allowed it in front of Bella. This was not about saving face, since I was bound to show her the monster that I was while I was here. I just wished I'd had another way, a way to save her from all of it. I didn't want any of this for her. Ever. I'd deluded myself into thinking I could keep her unchanged.

So to save her soul, to save her the guilt of taking a human life, I did it myself. Sure, she drank. But he was already dead, because of me.

Because if I hadn't, she would have. And then his blood would have been on her hands. Well, it was already, physically caked underneath her fingernails and drying down her arms. But that could be washed away.

I rose with her, carrying her easily she was like nothing in my arms, like a husk of who I expected her to be.

Aro was watching us. He had been the entire time, and I could tell from his thoughts and from the disapproving look on his face that this was not what he had envisioned. Certainly, Bella tasted human blood, but I knew already that this was not a victory for him. I didn't doubt that she would now crave it more than anything else—there was no comparison to the taste of warm blood, perfectly tempered to a healthy 98.6, or just a little hotter from fear. I didn't doubt that there would be moments where Bella craved it and obsessed over it and clawed at her own throat because she wanted to taste it again. But I also didn't doubt that she would never do it again.

I knew my Bella, and she would never put herself in the position she was currently in again. Monster or no.

Aro watched us as I carried her to the door leading out toward our "chamber." Felix and Afton stepped in front of me. Bella was still now, cradled against me like a little child. From Aro's thoughts I could see her eyes, wide, longing, empty.

"Let me through," I snarled at them. They did not move an inch. Afton ignored my request, choosing to focus instead on his mate who was now helping to dispose of the bodies down into the large pit. The heavy, grate was being moved and they were throwing cooling bodies down into the darkness. He was a coward.

Felix shook his head and sneered.

Behind me, his eyes sought out Aro's.

"Let me through!" I screamed at Aro. He heard me, of course, his eyes narrowed at me, angry and petulant because of what had happened. This is not what he wanted. He'd had hoped she would give into the carnal, raw nature and realize that this was the life she was meant to lead. He wanted it to make her powerful-not this, this shell of the creature he thought she was. He'd wanted her to see what _he_ could offer her, show her that this is what their life was like, and she might realize that this was not at all what she'd been experiencing. He had wanted _her_ to be the one to tear flesh and spill blood all over the ground. He'd _expected_ it.

But that is not how it had played out. Aro knew that he could have ruined it all with this, even with the draw of human blood.

He also knew I couldn't take her far. Not like this.

She was nearly comatose in my arms, though she continued to sob softly. Deep inside her, she was spiraling out of control. I didn't need to read her mind to know it—I'd been there myself.

The blood tasted so good—rich and warm and savory. There was so much more in a human's blood that an animals didn't have, as if their very life essence was in it, their very soul. You could taste so much more: their hopes, their dreams, their fears. And you were it's master, taking it all into yourself and wielding it with a power unmatched on this earth. One life to another, a stronger being.

But there was also the insufferable grief. Deep and dark and haunting, the idea that you had caused another to die, to end without cause. Certainly it was delectable, but was it worth the pain and anguish, the endless, black vortex that threatened to consume you? There were two choices, only two: embrace the darkness with the belief that you were a supreme being, or reject the idea that there was anyone truly beneath you when _you_ were the epitome of depravity. Carlisle had taught me that. And I had taught Bella.

Because there _was_ another way where you didn't have to feel this guilt.

I had to get her out of there, away from the scent and the scene and the memories.

"God damn it, Aro!" I yelled again. "Let me out!"

He rolled his eyes, irritatedly with the fact that this phase of his plan had failed to bring the intended results, and waved his hand dismissively at the two grunts blocking our way. This was not over—he knew that and in his mind moved on to the next part of his plan—but he would let us go for now, while he contemplated his next move. In the meantime, he would make sure we were here to see it.

They stepped aside and I pushed through the doorway. I walked down the hall way to the prison that had held us the night before. Felix followed me, surprised at her reaction to the massacre-enthralled and disappointed. He'd never seen it before. She was daunting, both in the extreme control she'd managed to hold on to for so long and her reaction to the blood.

Instead of becoming ravenous and tearing the rest of the room apart in search for more, she broke down and collapsed upon herself.

Briefly, he wondered if this was her gift.

I kicked the door open with my foot, letting it swing back and slam shut, and carried her over to the bed, laying her down as tenderly as if she was a human infant. She immediately curled in on herself when she felt the blankets beneath her, her hands covering her head and her knees clenched up into her chest. A tiny gasping cry left her lips.

I didn't take my hands away from her. She needed the contact, as did I. I laid down next to her, my body alined with her and mirroring hers so that I could watch her and I placed my hands all over her body—in her hair, over her hip, up and down her arms, over her cheek. She trembled with the dry sobs that left her, so quiet now. They were more frightening than if she had been wailing, because I knew that the pain was buried deep in her, threatening to break her apart from the inside out.

Like ink in a shallow pool of water, it was spreading through her, dancing, reaching, trying to blacken everything, slowly. She was fighting it. I moved closer and wrapped my arms and legs around her, cocooning her. She fell into me, melting as if she were begging to crawl inside of me instead of being inside herself.

I knew that feeling all too well. The first time I'd killed, not out of revenge, but because I could not contain the beast, I'd wanted to crawl inside the empty body and stay there.

"_Shhh," _I whispered into her hair, murmuring words that likely held no meaning for her now. She was so small, I wondered if she'd not shrunk in physical size, collapsing like sinking sand. She was falling into herself now, and slipping through my fingers, each tiny grain of her.

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**It was hours. I could tell by the way the light through the windows shifted.** I knew exactly how many minutes, seconds ticking by. I knew how many soft, needless breaths she took, how many times I said_ "shh"_ into her temple, or her hair, or her neck. I knew the exact number of times I pressed my lips to her-_261_-not knowing if she actually felt the pressure. I knew how many times she trembled and how many times I tightened my fingers around her, pulling her closer.

And I knew exactly how many times she'd blinked.

Not once.

Her eyes were glassed over, empty, hollow, unfocused. She shook and whimpered and sighed every so often, but her eyes did not move from somewhere far off in the distance, somewhere I could not follow her. Like a shell, she was not with me then, but somewhere deep in a cavernous portion of herself.

At seven twelve, when the sun was just beginning to dip in the Tuscan landscape, she seemed to come back to me. She blinked a few times, and looked at me, her eyes searching mine for something, although, I didn't understand what. She bit her lip and a single sob broke through her lips. She reached up and stroked her fingertips down the side of my face. I sat up, pulling her with me into my lap and held her close, almost rocking her.

"Please don't leave me," she said softly, her lips pressed against my neck. She climbed me, holding herself up with a strength that I didn't know she possessed.

"I'll never leave you," I whispered against the curve of her ear, relieved to have her simply speaking to me. She'd seemed to go on some kind of pilgrimage inside herself, and was only just surfacing.

"Please, _please _don't leave me," she begged again. It was as if she didn't hear me. Her tone was the same, and I wondered if she even knew I'd said it. "Please don't leave me again."

"I will never leave you," I promised.

"I'm sorry," Bella said softly. Her dry tears had not subsided completely, but she raised her head off my shoulder and placed her forehead on mine. Her voice caught in her throat, where it mixed with a breathy sob. "I'm so, _so_ sorry."

I shifted her in my lap. There was nothing I could say to make this better for her. There was no taking away the pain or the regret or the images in her head. But perhaps I could clarify it for her in the way that she had for me.

I tilted her face up to meet me. Her eyes were no longer flooded black, but a deep crimson and liquid, as if the blood she'd just consumed was swirling in them. Had she had the ability to shed real tears, they would have overflowed down her cheeks.

My thumbs found their phantom path anyway, and I held her close and kissed her cheeks. She whimpered under my touch.

"Every decision, remember? There were many choices that brought us here. I made some for you, you made them for me too. I will _never_ leave you. You will _never_ leave me. You can't apologize for one moment that controlled you. Not _that_, anyway."

Bella leaned into me. She pushed me back on the bed, and curled into me, seeming to shrink again. There were no words exchanged between us, her little body offering enough warmth from the blood that was also offering her strength. But I knew from experience that she didn't feel strong. She felt weak and broken and used. She felt empty.

And even if she was not the same girl I'd loved before, I wouldn't stop until I found a way to put her back together, piece by lovely, broken piece.

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**End Notes: **

*Peeks out of hiding.*

Um, hi guys…. I _did_ promise you a HEA…remember? Try to remember that, even when it's really, really hard. You've got to fall before you can fly.

Recap: Aro arranges this "coming out party" for Bella, in which he tries to get her to drink human blood-more so, to have her be the one to end a life, so she can feel the power of it. Bella struggles for a long time, but in the end, she's up against too much, too soon. In an effort to take the guilt of ending a human life, Edward does the deed himself. Sadness ensues. =(

I am sure I am going to get questions about this, so I am just going to say it outright:

_No_, there was no other way. _Yes_, Edward had to do it. _Why_? Because Bella was going to do it _anyway_, and he didn't want her to live with the guilt of the act of murder…so he did it _for_ her. Sometimes you do stuff like that for the people you love.

This chapter, this moment of regret and sin and giving-in and utter heartbreak was where this story was born. Seriously, the very thing that made me begin this story. I never understood WHY Bella had so much control right out the gate in the original, and then I wondered, "What if she _didn't_?" Because, I think that in a different world, maybe she wouldn't have had such control over something they all struggled with so badly. Well, knowing Edward, he would never let her take on the pain and suffering of being the opposite of the "good" he saw in her-cause' he's pigheaded and sweet like that. So he'd do it for her.

I know this was a difficult chapter to read. It was WORSE to write, trust. This is the lowest that Bella (and Edward, in turn) are going to get. Now is the aftermath, the growth that one has to have when they experience something so devastating. And yes, eventually, then the HEA.

It's all about the growth, people. Just trust. It's going to be lighthearted and good and sexy again, and yes, a happy-ever-after kind of thing.

So thank you for sticking by me in this. Thank you for supporting me and the characters, even at their lowest point. I look forward moving on from this with you.

**I'll be posting chapter 22 TOMORROW. To happier times. Love to you all!**


	22. Chapter 22: You've Had A Taste,

**Author's Note:**

Wow... Just wow. I know a lot of you probably didn't get a chance to read before I posted again, so you lucky ducks get two chapters to read. But from those of you who got a break in between, wow.

I appreciate the feedback that I got from the previous chapter for those of you that had a chance. I am humbled and floored and excited all at the same time. I should apologize for the fact that I gave you that giant disclaimer, when it seems that it was pretty unnecessary. I think my readers are some of the most intelligent and understanding readers in the fandom. You guys rock.

More on Bella's dealing in this chapter...and Edward's. Just a little longer...

**Chapter 22 Playlist Song: I Know, Jude (Part 1); Heavy In Your Arms, Florence + the Machine (Part 2). **I'm seriously recommending these two for the chappie. Really encompass the feel.

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 22: You've Had A Taste, So Now Spit It Out**

"Your eyes," Bella whispered softly, stroking underneath my eyes with her still-bloody fingertip. We were still lying side by side in the canopy bed, still surrounded by the red velvet draping, the Volturi, and danger. Still dirty from the acts that had brought us here. Still falling into the hopelessness that had come by my decision to take on Bella's suffering. It was morning again.

She'd been quiet, and very lost. After her heartbreaking apology to me as I held her there, she stilled again. She was no longer completely apart from me-she focused and blinked and changed position-but she was still far away from me in a place I couldn't quite touch her or locate her. I wasn't sure if she was floundering still, whether she was still wandering the bleak despair of the situation we found ourselves in. We'd not spoken any more-this was the first-but she'd not cried either any more, and I thought that it might be a good sign.

At least, that she was dealing. One tiny step at a time.

It frightened me to see her so despondent. That was _not_ Bella, at least the one that I knew—the strong, fierce, sure and hopeful Bella. This Bella now before me was almost like a shadow of herself, or even, like someone completely different.

But then, didn't I already _know_ that? Hadn't I already seen that-two starkly different young women. She had split herself, inside out. And, as we'd stood in meadow, finally kissing for the first time, didn't I almost anticipate it?

No, I could have never foreseen this.

"They won't stay this way," I told her, referring to my eyes. "Soon, they will go back to their normal color."

"Are you sure?" she whispered, so quietly that I was not sure that I truly heard those words leave her lips. Her face fell again, and for a moment, she was gone again, into a bleak and unfathomable place that I couldn't travel to with her. She stared past me at some unknown horror, her eyes wide and fearful. Despite the fact that her body was there with me, she was not near me at all. She was remembering or searching or trying to forget.

She would forever be haunted by the events that took place the previous morning. For the rest of her existence, she would remember with perfect clarity what it felt like to see the lives being ripped from the humans, or the smell of the warm, sweet blood as it spattered the marble, or the way the throat felt as if it was on fire from the scent as it invaded her system and held on to her. She'd keep the memory of the way she wanted it, the sounds of the slaughtered as air gurgled through the holes in their throats, the rush of adrenaline as she drank. The want that is so much a part of our lives.

And a part of her would always know what it felt like after, when there was so much guilt it could weigh you down and drown you.

I knew, of course, because I had my own memories.

Perhaps that is why vampires couldn't sleep—too much to keep us up at night? She asked that question—whether or not my eyes would return to their normal, topaz color—not because she didn't understand the physical side of our biology, but because she wondered if we would ever be able to leave this place, intact, if we would ever be able to go back to what we were. Would we ever make it out of here? _Maybe not_, I thought to myself. Or would we lose ourselves in this place, like a constant circling. _Like purgatory_. Maybe we would never be what we were—or, rather, what _she _was—because it is hard to go back to innocence when you've already been polluted. But I knew without a doubt that my eyes would not be red forever. Neither would hers.

I would not allow what we'd started to end like this. Not now, when we were so, _so _close to something more.

I leaned over to her and kissed her forehead, the act of which shook her out of her daze. Her fuzzy gaze sought mine again, and I saw a spark of my Bella in her eyes. She was less of a ghost for just that moment, more the young woman I loved. _Was it in my imagination—in my hope for it—that I saw my Bella back again?_

"I know, without a doubt," I told her gently. "I've done too many crimes that caused my eyes to be this color before. I know that they will fade again. And so will yours. I promise."

"And if they don't?" she whispered.

"They will."

"What if I can't?"

Her voice shattered a little at the end, her heart breaking all over again. She was spinning, this way, then that-flip-flopping in a tight circle. She was agonizing and jittery, like of the feeling of someone watching her, but when she turned, it was not a stranger but herself-the dark half of herself that she now knew too well, staring at her with wild eyes and a sickly smile. This way, then that.

Like a dream set on repeat. Only, she couldn't wake up.

I knew, from experience, she was thinking of our family back in Forks, of her friends that she'd left behind, of Esme, and Carlisle, and Alice and even Rose. I knew she was thinking of her father, and the fact that he'd always taught her to be a good person with quiet example, but now she felt like as much of a monster as I'd always told her I was. She was likely thinking about me, and what I thought of her. What she didn't understand, however, in all her grief, was that I knew how good she was, and that was the reason I'd done what was necessary to protect her.

Because it had not been _her_ that killed that man, or had spilled his blood. He was dead when she took from him. I was _me_, because _like hell_ if I was going to forfeit her soul because of that bastard Aro.

"You didn't kill that man, Bella," I whispered. She startled, her eyes wide for a moment in pure shock. Had she not known that? That he was already dead? Of course she did, her vampire senses would have told her as much—the way that his blood was minutely cooling and the way his heart was no longer pumping, his body already turning ashen and unused.

"_I wanted to,_" she said, clenching her eyes shut. "I wanted to _so_ badly, with all of them. Each person. I still do."

Her pain was tactile, nearly, like thick sap that stuck to you and you couldn't get off, and I reached out and pulled her to me, tucking her head under my chin and murmuring to her to hush. She shook.

"But you didn't," I said. "You refrained, for so, so long. I can barely believe how long you abstained, Bella. It was nearly miraculous. You were so good, and in the end, it wasn't you. It was me."

"I didn't want to refrain," she said into my chest. "I couldn't see anything but the blood, and how much it called to me. I wanted it so badly. I would have done _anything_ to get it."

She pulled away and looked up at me.

"I wanted to tear _you_ apart to get to it. I wanted to hurt you," she whispered. Her face fell and she looked empty again, terrified of the memory of what she would have done to quench her thirst.

"You _didn't_," I told her again, willing her to understand how good she still was. She didn't understand. Everyday, I heard thousands of thoughts, ones where people wanted things they couldn't have, hated things they shouldn't hate, craved things that they couldn't crave by societies standards. People wanted money and drugs and sex and pain, and that was a very real part of them, from deep inside them.

All of them.

We all—vampires and humans, werewolves or other—want things we can't have. We are innately needly, selfish. All of us.

But no one outside ourselves knows this, until we act on the evil that permeates us.

I wanted _her_, in so many ways that I had no right to. Just one example of how selfish _I_ was.

But there is also good, black and white, the yin to the yang. In the end, all that matters is that the good is greater than the bad and the gross and the heinous, tipping the scale so that the better part of you wins out. Bella's good was so much greater than any I'd ever seen before.

"You didn't," I repeated.

"I can't stop thinking about it, Edward. I can't stop fantasizing about the way that it tasted and felt and just _was._ It's like it's consuming me. I want more."

"But will you _take_ more?" I asked, suddenly worried about the answer. She could say to me, suddenly, that at the life I'd brought her into and ultimately chosen for her was not what she wanted. She could choose the bloodlust, the feeling of pure power, over me and the lifestyle Carlisle had brought me into. She could toss away all that she mourned now. If she did…

Well, _so would I_, of course.

For a long time, she just looked at me, pondered my question. Her eyes glassed over, her breathing grew harsh. She tumbled in on herself so many times. In her eyes, I saw her thirst, her despair, her joy and sadness. I shared them with her, remembering for myself. I'd had to make that choice once. I'd been on the edge. And I'd run back to Carlisle and Esmeralda faster than I'd ever run before.

She was stuck, completely torn, between all the things she wanted—good verses evil, strength verses desperation, familial warmth verses an embracing of her body's true nature. Her face changed as she circled around and around herself, all the emotions she was working out clear on her pretty features. She wanted the blood, of course. I watched this internal struggle with herself, this war that she battled on the inside. The monster that I had always denied fought with the soul that I knew she still housed, and she hosted it, like her mind on body were it's summit. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

"I don't want it, ever again," she choked. "I don't want to drink that way, to feel what I feel now. But I wish I could forget what it felt like to _have_ it. Because it's almost all I can think about."

"I know," I told her gently, knowing but still not really knowing at all. It was the same, but still different for us all. I knew because, most of the time, I could hear it. But I couldn't hear Bella.

I wish I could tell then how deeply she suffered. As ever, Bella was too strong for me, too forgiving of me. At that moment, I couldn't have fathomed the way she was suffering, little pieces of herself being chipped away from the inside out. Even with my own experiences, Bella was so much different than anyone that I'd ever known, so different than me. I could have never known, because even I had never felt that kind of guilt. My Bella was a creature the likes of which I'd never known, with depths like I'd never seen. Deep in her, in a place I could never get to on my own, she was holding on to it all. Her own monster was nearly as strong as she.

"I wish I could take those memories from you," I told her. "I wish that you never had them in the first place, and I wish I didn't have my own. You will always feel it, this guilt that you feel for wanting it so badly. But you're stronger than I've ever known possible, Bella. And I won't let you do this to yourself."

The sunlight was coming through the high, slated windows again. It hit her, where she was lying, sparkling off her cheekbones and the ridge of her nose, and over her closed eyelids. She was something of an enigma, sparkling there on the bed, her radiance partially covered from dried blood and grime.

I pulled her up and held her to me as I rose off the bed. For just a second, so little time that a human eye couldn't have even caught it, her eyes widened in intense fear. But then she relaxed, my now-skittish love relaxing into me.

"Come," I told her. "Let's clean you up."

I carried her to the attached bathroom, pushing the door open with my shoulder. Despite our few days here, I'd not had a reason to come into the bath. It was surprisingly large and spacious, despite the fact that it was a remodel into the existing structure of the castle. The floor and walls were the same marble tile, floor to ceiling white and grey and hues of lavender all swirled together. There was a long vanity with three oblong, gilded mirrors hanging above it, and a large, sunken oval tub. It was stark and clean, it's only décor the few bottles of potions and perfumes that were set in there and a small pile of towels on the marble. I placed her on the sink in front of me, letting her legs dangle off the side of the vanity. I looked down at her, broken and dirty from the previous day. I couldn't help my hand, that I reached up and stroked my fingers underneath the swell of her eyes, nearly in the same way she'd done to me earlier. They were bright and bloody, swirling like magma still hot, red and liquid and wild, and beneath my fingertips, almost bruised.

"How bad is it?" she whispered, and I lost the contact with her eyes as she looked down at her twisting and twirling fingers in her lap.

"Not," I told her, tilting her head up to meet me again. The weary, desolate look in her eyes nearly leveled me right there on the tile. I wanted to melt at her feet, if only I could turn back time.

I had to turn away. I brushed my hands down her legs, letting them fall off of her when they got to her knees, as I turned around to fill the bath. It spurted a little from unuse, dark, rusty water coming out, until it ran clear. I plugged the drain, and the water slowly rose in the basin. I reached over and grabbed one of the glass bottles on the side of the bath, opening it and smelling.

Roses. Not what my Bella normally smelled like, but it would help remove the stench of death that hung on to her. I poured some under the running water, and it immediately began to foam throughout the tub, swirling incandescent streaks in the clear, warm water.

I grabbed a towel off the corner of the tub and unfurled it in the air. I dipped it into the water, which was steaming the bathroom now, long curls floating up through the air over the water. The towel pulled the water up itself, becoming heavy and rose-smelling. I turned back to Bella. She was watching me carefully, almost like an abused animal.

I stood near her, and she spread her knees apart so I could stand between them. I slowly stroked the towel down her cheek, leaving a pale, satin path in its wake, where before it had been muddied.

She sighed softly and closed her eyes, and I continued to dip the cloth in the water and clean off her face until it was clear again, all the physical traces of my indiscretions gone.

The bath was full, fragrant and hot and ready. Slowly, I brushed the front of her shirt, my fingers trailing up the buttons that rested on her belly. Her eyes went wide.

"You should take a bath," I told her cautiously, and suddenly, I was hesitant to be in the room with her. I had no intention of staying—I didn't want to make her uncomfortable—but I didn't know if she was able to do it by herself. She'd been so empty, so broken, that I wanted to do this for her, to wash all of this away for her. Like a manifestation of _all_ the things I wished to sweep down the drain.

She continued to watch me with wide, frightened eyes. But when I removed my hands from the buttons of her shirt, she stilled me and brought them back, where she began to open her own buttons through my fingers. Her hands shook, trembling to the point that she couldn't continue. I didn't know if it was because she was unsure, or if it was because she was remembering the reason why her shirt was so dirty in the first place.

I gently brushed her fingers aside and continued for her. She placed her hands on either side to brace herself and closed her eyes tightly, holding a breath in the chest. I moved up, popping the buttons slowly from their confines, being careful to pull the fabric away from her body. I could feel the heat of her against the backs of my hands as I moved. She was not breathing, and neither was I.

I pushed the shirt off her shoulders, revealing pearly white flesh covered with a demure white satin and lace bra. She was exquisite, creamy skin and delicate features. But I tried to look away, to give her a shred of modesty where I was invading her privacy. I lifted her off the counter, avoiding the sight of her. She felt so good in my hands, bare skin in my palm where there had only ever been fabric between. My hands prickled where they touched her, burning with more than heat.

She popped the button at her waist and slipped her pants down her thighs, revealing the same pretty skin she had on the rest of her, and a matching pair of panties. She moved around me toward the tub, and still wearing her under garments, stepped into the warm water covered in bubbles.

Immediately, the bubbles diminished, just a little, where her body made them part. The water turned dingy with the rusty residue on her skin, revealing slowly the pure whiteness beneath.

She sank low in the basin, so that her chin touched the water and the back of her head rested on the edge of it. Her eyes didn't leave mine. I wasn't sure if it was in confidence that she lay there, wet and almost exposed to me, or if it was that she was afraid to look away from me because she was nervous, but her eyes didn't waver. They were not what I was used to, still very nearly empty, and wide and wondering, totally focused on the part of her that I couldn't see—as if she were turned inside out, looking at herself and only leaving me with a hollow doppelgänger.

I picked up a new cloth that lay next to the tub and dipped it into the water. I was careful to avoid her body, to not touch her under the water where she was just too close to naked. The washcloth came up, heavy and sopping, spattered in little bubble colonies.

I washed her skin and she let me. She raised her arms up out of the water, and I stroked down them, over and over again, wiping away the traces of my sin, and hers. I washed her back, as she leaned forward, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on them. I washed her knees, dirty like a small child's, and her palms and her feet, because it looked like she had been running outside in the sunlight, barefoot and laughing and full of life.

She had _not been, _of course.

I could wash her skin, taking all the dirty grime and deep red bloodstains off with a swipe of the washcloth, and eventually, the water would go down the drain, sweeping it's remnants with it. I knew how to do _that, _though washing a woman was not something I'd ever done before.

But I didn't know how to wash her soul.

Deep inside herself, she was searching for something, something I could not provide. As my fingers traced over her from behind the safety of the washcloth, it knew that I would not be able to take away the shadows of her memories as easily as I could remove dried blood and residue.

In fact, I couldn't wash any of it away for her.

I was at that moment that I realized two earth-shattering things: One, that my Bella was changed. As I'd feared, we could never go back to what we were before. Bella was not the young woman that I had kissed in the meadow. Gone was the young girl that had chased through my fantasies, the silent-minded vixen who had caused me so much angst and turmoil. Bella was not who she had been when I'd turned her. She was a new woman, hardened, unsure, and maybe a little untrusting. But none of that mattered, because she was still all I ever wanted.

And two, that she was somewhere I couldn't touch, and I couldn't go in after her and pull her out.

Somehow, we'd have to meet in the middle if I was ever going to get her back.

* * *

"Well, good day sweet Bella," Aro said happily. He was smiling, his strange, thin lips pulled up over his teeth, but he was still seething on the inside. Of course, he knew that I knew that, that I saw him for what he was. I knew the way he was planning on playing this game, and that he was willing to do anything to keep Bella. I knew now that he was sure that there was more to her, and he planned on making her show him in every way he could possibly think of. He was ruthless.

It was evening again. I was surprised at the amount of time and privacy that Aro and his minions had allowed Bella and I before summoning us back before him. After her bath, Bella dried herself, re-dressed in some new clothes that had been brought for her, and laid on the bed, curling in on herself. I washed myself, then, closing the door between us and mourning the fact that I'd let go of the girl I'd fallen in love with, let her stumble up the rockslide on her own, and that I had failed her in my promise. I sunk into the water and cried myself, tearlessly and quietly, that she'd had to endure what I promised to keep her from. I wondered how she could ever forgive _me_, now that I had left her in a way I never imagined possible.

I wanted to be the one that saved her now, but I knew that only she could do that.

The turret was cleaned. There were no more red droplets arcing over the marble walls, no more crimson coating on the floor that spread like shining, savory ink. The room smelled of bleach, so that the porous stone would not be stained. But over to our right, the floor was still cracked and crumbled where I'd dug in, and the wall held evidence that I'd held Bella there, as she thrashed and trembled and tried to get away. And from somewhere, deep and dark and down low, the stench of fresh death rose up and burned my nostrils.

It had not, in fact, been a figment of our imaginations.

"I trust you've had time to digest all that happened here—" Aro snickered to himself at his own sick joke—"So, you've had a taste. It wasn't quite the way I'd hoped, of course…"

Aro leveled his stare at Bella. Then he looked at me, and looked back at her again.

_She won't be able to resist, you know. She _will _be mine._

It took all my control to keep my feet in place. I wanted my fingers, wrapped tightly around his, filmy, white neck. _Tightly._

"Join me," Aro hissed. "I can give you all that again and more. You can't tell me that you'd rather drink filthy animal blood, not after having pure, frightened human blood. We don't drink animal blood here."

"No," Bella said, clearly and full of strength I didn't know she still possessed. The fact that he had even asked her made her angry, though she had to know he would ask again—_continue_ to ask again, over and over. Her hands were clenched at her sides, tight, so tightly that her little fingernails were digging in. Her body radiated with her anger, a palpable energy that I could feel in my own body. She was fighting so hard to contain herself, to remain civil, despite the fact that she was ready to burst.

I saw it in his head before the rest of the room knew it. A white, hot fury bubbled through him more quickly than a thought, more wild and powerful than his desire to have her. He rose from his made-up throne, his small stature seemingly massive in comparison to the rest of his guard, who sat so much lower than him in the court. Rage burst out of him.

"You will not defy me!" he screamed at her. She flinched, but only slightly. Stalking down the stairs, he took long strides until he was towering over her, puffing with unneeded breath. He pointed his finger at her and lowered his voice.

"Perhaps, little one, you've forgotten what you've left behind." He glanced at me and smiled slyly. "And what you've brought along with you."

Her eyes widened, and shot to me. I could see the desperation in her, how she wondered what she could do now, what she could possibly say. I saw how fearful she was for me, for the rest of the Cullens, for her friends and the Quiluetes and her father. It was all there in her eyes. She knew what she was up against, and what they were capable of. She even knew that it was _very_ likely that they could find all of the people she loved. Even her mom. She knew what Aro was saying, what he was threatening. But then, I saw in his mind, he would only go to the others if all else failed—too messy. He had what he thought he needed right here, in front of him and at his mercy.

She looked back at him, less sure of her stance, but still stronger than me.

"Stay," he coaxed, softly. His tongue caressed the words, speaking to her as if she were a small, frightened child. If I didn't know the malice behind his words, I would have said he might have been trying to comfort her after his outburst. But I knew that he was, as ever, simply manipulating her.

"That's all you need to do. Stay here, serve me and my brothers, join my guard. You will live in the lap of luxury, all the blood you could want. I'll let you have freedom, and I'll let you keep him. You will be revered and respected throughout the world. I only ask for your allegiance."

He paused and gauged her reaction, to which there was none. When she didn't say anything, he continued.

"And in return, I will leave them all alone: Carlisle, his lovely wife, your father, your mother and step-father—in their quaint little home in Florida," he said. I could feel her tense beside me, his words bringing her fears to life. "_And Edward_. Stay with me, and they will not be touched. But continue to defy me, and you will force my hand, Bella, _dear. _And I have a_ long and devastating _reach."

She looked at me again. Inside herself, like a mini battle, she was fighting again. Her heart and fears and desires and anger were warring. I shook my head. I would not see her as Aro's pawn. He'd literally have to destroy me first.

"No," she whispered.

Quiet and gentle, I saw the small flicker of hope as it began to bud after a long hibernation. It was just a tiny part, but there was a glimmer of my Bella—the old Bella who I'd already mourned the loss of. Deep inside her, my Bella was fighting. Bella, frustrated and sitting cross-legged with a tiny, iron flower in her palm. Bella, whose laughter turned my cold, dead heart beating again. Bella, whose fierce loyalty and determination caused her to go nose to nose with Rose, for me, for this life, for herself.

Bella, who kissed me back, even when she should have blamed me for ruining everything.

Between the bath and now, when I'd been mourning and crying and soaking myself to try and wash the grief away, Bella had won some ground.

She was there, and she was stronger. She was as lovely and warm as she'd ever been to me- the same perfect half to my own imperfection. But still different, changed-hardened, knowing, and less innocent, like her heart had taught her the raw truths of the world...and unwilling to be _anyone's _pawn.

There was a grain of peace in her then even through the anger that radiated out from her, as if she felt some sort of relief from all of this. Despite the fact that her body craved the blood, as it always would, she'd covered ground knowing that the pain and suffering of it after was not worth the taste of it. She was still sad, still a little lost, fumbling just a bit, still fearful and concerned and guilty for what she'd allowed and wanted and done, but at least now she was sure that she never wanted those feelings again. It's a staggering moment, to realize that the guilt outweighs pleasure of human blood, and to never want to be lost in it again. I wish it had happened so quickly for me.

Sometimes, the anger was a driving force.

I was so proud of her in that moment, my chest so swelled with emotion for her. She was proving, at every turn, that she was stronger than Aro and his games. He could threaten her, and she knew what he could be capable of.

But still, she stood her ground.

Despite the fact that he threatened me.

Aro's eyes popped, and he breathed heavily through his nose like a raging steed.

"You _are_ a foolish child," he told her. "Do you know what I can do to keep you here? Do you know what I _will_ do? I gave you an excellent offer that you refused."

Aro stomped away from us, circling around nothing, like he was thinking of something so deeply. And he _was_, of how he wanted her to the point of insanity, how he would do whatever it took to keep her, perhaps even breaking his own laws. He held nothing back from me, almost as if he forgot that I was in the room. He would go after us, all of us, eventually. He would keep her here, against her will and mine, even though he knew that she did not want it. He would offer her victims, as many as he needed to until she craved the blood more than her pure spirit. He would have Demetri follow us, wherever we went for as long as he needed him to. He would bring her down, and he would use me as her leverage—he thought that I would be the only thing that got her there. He would use them all against me in any way he could—Jane with her blinding pain, or Heidi with her body, or even Felix if need be—and he would watch as he broke _her_ because of his actions against me, until she was just as much a part of the guard as the rest of them. Until she was too weak and battered to resist him any longer.

But then, Aro didn't know my Bella. The old _or _the new one.

"Jane," Aro commanded, summoning her with a flick of his finger. "Let us give Bella a taste of what the force of my hand feels like."

The pain rippled through me instantly, numbing me to everything that wasn't red and hot and like death and tearing limbs and beautiful torture. I could taste the flavor of pain on my tongue, like metal and blackness and dust of the earth. I forgot what I was, where I was, what I was supposed to be doing, the reason I was living in the first place…

…_No_, I could almost see it, a hazy outline of someone, small and soft and like a dim and luring light. A girl—no, a woman. Pretty, chestnut-haired, delicate but strong like a tulip…

_Tulips_. And sunshine, and sparkling skin. The smell of grasses all around, and wet, green moss, and rain and elk. I could almost hear it, the way my name sounded on her soft, sweet lips. Like a dream—the _best_ dream…

_Edward_. A crack in the blinding pain that held me fast.

_Edward. _Another shred of sanity.

"Edward! Edward, please! _Enough_!"

The pain subsided, quickly and forcefully, like smoke pulled out through a vacuum. My vision was back, my mind clear again. I was on the floor, and Bella was beside me, saying my name over and over like a mantra.

"Do you see, little one?" Aro said. "Do you see what I can do to him? Why do you defy me?"

"Because you're wrong," she whispered, "and because I want _nothing_ to do with you or your guard. Because I _know_ Edward—and my family, and my father— wouldn't want me to join you, no matter what."

He laughed then, a loud, long belly laugh that caused him to bend at the waist. He grasped his side as if it helped him breathe easier.

"You are so sure about that? That _he_ wouldn't want you to join me? Jane could do this all day long. Are you so _sure_ that Edward would not want you to give in to me?"

She looked at me then, knowing in that instant what I had known all along: Aro would use me as his greatest weapon against her will. He would use my love for her against her. Her eyes were wide, full of sadness and regret. She was remembering the fire that I pulled her out of, the times we spent learning about one another, our kiss, the first night we were here, and the man that she watched die at my hands. It hurt like nothing I'd experienced to see the regret in her eyes.

Regret for all of this. I could almost see it, these memories in her eyes, like I was reliving them with her too.

_You are bound to her, but is it enough to hold you together? I know there is only one bond. My brother showed me. How do you know she won't leave you?_

He smiled at her, a knowing and placating smile. After all her insults, all the things that she said to him, the way that she defied him, he still believed that there was a chance that she'd willingly follow him. This was the persona that he wanted her to see, but she was not aware of the fact that he was afraid of her too. A piece of him feared Bella and what she might be able to do.

Aro was afraid of this little girl. I very nearly laughed at him.

It was a revelation for me, this moment that I realized this deep seeded fear that gripped at Aro. It was what drove him to bring her here in the first place. He wanted power, and he didn't want anyone else to have it, but it was out of fear that he kept tabs on Carlisle and his family. It was the reason he destroyed vampires who he thought would impose upon his monarchy. It was why he kept things so clean and tied with a tidy bow, holding his hand over the world and cleaning up messes before they were realized.

Aro feared, and he feared deeply. I saw memories he didn't want me to see, but that he couldn't help, all those that he'd taken in and taken out and thrown away in a fearful effort to protect himself and all that he'd work towards. So many faces I'd never seen, so many names I'd never heard.

And of all things, he was beginning to fear Bella and her inexplicable powers the most of all the things that haunted him, especially with the way that she would not succumb to his will.

"Are you _thirsty_? Does your throat _burn_?" he hissed.

I saw the agony in her, the way she was remembering what it felt like to drink, and drink deeply.

"I won't let you do this to her. Do what you will to me, but don't tease her," I said.

Aro laughed loudly.

"What is in it for you? You would take all this on, but for what?"

_You _love_ her, _he taunted me in his mind. _But you have not said the words. I don't need to read your mind to know you are insecure, so unsure. She doesn't love you back, right? So why do you do it, young Edward?_

"Because I have no other choice," I told him honestly, despite the doubt and regret I was feeling. "My body, my mind—nothing—would allow me any other option."

"You are both fools!" he hissed, turning to his guard—Jane, Alec, _and_ Demetri. "Take her out to hunt. Watch her. And don't allow my rules to be broken."

_No animal blood, _his mind spoke. Bella's eyes widened at the word _hunt_, the knowledge of what he was saying akin to striking her. She didn't need to read his mind to know that he was telling her that she would drink on his terms, or not at all. She desired that, she needed that, but she couldn't have it, and she really didn't want it. It cost too much, and she was not willing to be so frivolous anymore. In just a fraction of a moment, she battled with herself—two sides, the one her old self, young and innocent and trusting, the other hardened and cynical and angry.

"I will catch you if you fall," I whispered in her ear, giving her what was left of my promise. I couldn't tell her anymore that I would protect her soul, or that I would take the bullet for her. That ship had sailed. But I could tell her that I would be there for her anyway.

"And then I'll drag you down with me," she whispered, her voice low and heavy and lost again. My heart hurt at her barely-there words.

* * *

The night air was cloying, full of the diminishing scent of humans, the warmth of them still lingering in the air. It was quite now, though, the streets deserted.

Jane led us. She directed us out of the castle, through the long system of sewer tunnels, out into a less populated area. Here, the streets were wider than the center of the city, the apartments and houses and buildings further spread. There were more trees, less cobblestones and clay. And no humans remained in the night, all of them tucked away.

All that lingered now was skittering of vermin and the quiet lull of sleep. The sky was a clear dark blue. Stars glittered far above us and the wide moon cast a serene glow over the streets, causing shadows to grow in front of us.

My girl had done so well so far, going along with Aro's most recent manipulation. We all knew how dangerous this was, her going out and hunting in the city. It was against Aro's own laws, but still he suggested and encouraged it. There was no one on the street here, but any moment, there could be. We were playing with fire, and Bella and I would be the ones scarred by it-and Bella more than me. But then, if she was devastated, I would be more so. Her pain was mine.

Her body was on alert, and I knew she was already struggling. I followed Bella closely, making certain that she was not more than a step or two in front of me, my hand still just barely touching her arm. If I tightened my hand, my fingers would be grasping her. I was ready to stop her if need be. Alec and Jane and Demetri were close as well, though they allowed her a little berth. They knew she was unstable. Despite the fact that she had until this point shown extreme control as a newborn, there was always the potential that she might snap. They were ready for it, as much as they could be, anyway.

They were at a disadvantage, as far as Bella was concerned. As a newborn vampire, she was stronger than them, likely faster with her own human blood still lingering in her muscles. And now, having had human blood, she was even more at an advantage. Jane could not bring her down, and Demetri could not find her. Alec had not tested his gift on her, but I knew that he would not be able to affect her either.

But they could do all that to me.

That was the crux of the problem. Aro knew, without a doubt, that Bella would not leave me. She would not run, even though she could. She would not leave me alone, even though should she escape, they would likely not be able to find her. He didn't understand it, of course, but without a doubt, he knew that wherever I was—wherever I could be held—that is where Bella would be.

So it had seemed I'd made a mistake in all of this. Aro had asked to meet Bella. If Bella had come to Volterra without me, perhaps we wouldn't be stuck in this predicament.

Perhaps it was out of selfishness that I couldn't be without her. Perhaps, if I had used my head, if I had explored her gift before now, I would have known that she would be just fine without me.

Even if _I_ wasn't fine without _her_.

Suddenly, from the shadows a hundred feet in front of us, a man stumbled out into the street. I closed my fingers around her arm, though Bella had already stopped, her body shock-still and frozen in her spot. The wind whipped around the man, just the gentlest of breezes, and carried his scent toward our little misfit group. He smelled of earth and red grapes, sweat and cheaper wine than he helped to make. Still, beneath the fragrance of his profession and his extracurricular evening activities, the wet scent of his blood raged, pounding in his inebriation. His mind was hazy from the fermentation in his drink, but he recognized our figures in the dark and raised his hands, both in drunken greeting and strange happiness at the discovery of comrades.

His speech was slurred, his greeting sloppy, sounding nothing like the crisp Italian he was aiming for.

_"Ciao! Amico! Come va?" _he shouted at us, waving with his hands and tripping over himself towards us.

Bella turned, falling into my arms and tucking herself roughly against me. Her nose nestled into my collarbone and her hands clawing on my shirt.

"Edward," she whimpered, burying her face in my shoulder. She was gripping me so tightly, the pain shooting through my arm where her fingers dug into me. Like a small child, she was hanging on, begging me to take the need away.

Despite how wrong it was, how much it darkened my already blackened soul, I wanted to just give her what she thirsted for. She wanted the blood—not her mind, but her body—and it would ease her physical pain. Especially now, after all that she had endured, I wanted to give her what she desired most.

She was like an addict now, frantic and fidgety, and almost unable to hold on to reality. Her body burned for the blood, craved it and almost needed it, very nearly to the point that if she didn't relent, it would hurt her back. _Tit for tat, you hurt me, I'll hurt you_, her body was saying. _You deny me, _it taunted, _and I will deny you..._

And I was her facilitator-her enabler-the person that would look the other way from her addiction, the one who would allow it and lie for her, because I was too afraid to lose her. Because _she _was _my _addiction that I wasn't willing to break.

She made a small, frightened noise from her throat, and I felt as she clenched tighter as he neared. This was too much, when she was already battling the guilt enough. She would regret it if she drank again. But still, her body craved it.

"Please, no," she whispered into my shoulder. "I can't Edward. I can't."

I lifted her up into my arms and cradled her against my chest like a baby.

"We're going back," I told the guard.

"She hasn't had anything," Jane said fake-sweetly. "I thought she was _thirsty_."

Bella whimpered again.

"It's too much, Edward," she hissed, gripping me tighter still. "_Please_."

And I thought she was asking for herself, begging me to take her away from here, or even take her guilt on again and allow her to give into the bloodlust. But then she spoke again.

"I'm too _heavy_," she whispered. "I'm _too_ much. Please, I don't want you to fall with me. Just let me _go_."

"I can't do that," I told her. "And I _won't_."

Bella fell very nearly limp in my arms.

"Back!" I yelled. Demetri smiled at Bella, the way she rested in my arms, so vulnerable and small. I ignored the turn of his thoughts.

_So pretty, all broken. So prone…_

"Now," I growled. Jane pouted and rolled her eyes. Alec turned without hesitance. And Demetri continued to watch Bella, mesmerized by her fingers in my hair and her face against my neck. She was holding on for dear life, and trying her best to hold on.

Jane and Alec began to walk back to the turret, the moon shining behind it like a beacon. I held Bella close, holding her steady as I walked with purpose. Demetri stayed behind, and I heard him dispose of the man. I cringed at the sound that seemed to echoed off the bricks and stones of the ancient city. Breaking, blistering, bleeding.

I felt so conflicted, taking her back there into the belly of hell. But with Aro's minions following us, there was no way that we could go anywhere else. Demetri was right. We were prone.

Bella was even more vulnerable than me. _Because_ of me.

Because I'd brought her into this life. Because I'd allowed her to get caught up in this lifestyle. Because I hadn't been able to protect her in the way that I promised all along.

There had to be a way, something other than this. We were pushing and pulling and nothing was going to give. Aro would not give up, and neither would we, until all that was left was completely broken and unsalvageable.

We needed help. We needed support. I could not do this alone. It was a humbling realization that I could not protect her in the way I had promised to do since the moment she woke from her burning. I was powerless at the hands of the Volturi, at a total loss. And she…_she _was magnificent against them. And there _was more_ to her that even I didn't understand, but we were powerless to them, too, if we couldn't pinpoint what it was.

I held her close, tuning out everything that wasn't her—the feel of her in my arms, the way she grounded herself in me. Funny, since that is exactly what I did in her in every single moment.

One way or another, we had to break this hold.

I just didn't quite know how.

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**End Notes: **

As always, thank you so much for reading. Thank you for keeping up with me and following and reviewing if you are inclined. Even if you don't review, the fact that you are still reading is, like, the best thing in the world to me.

As you can see we are taking baby steps towards healing. The scar will always be there, but it won't always be raw.

The next chapter is almost ready. I'll have it up in a few days (less than 4, promise). I have to read through at least one more time... It's a REALLY important chapter :D

**Thanks again, wonderful readers!**


	23. Chapter 23: On Our Own Deserted Island,

**Author's Note:**

Long, _long_ one. But a good, _GOOD_ one. You know all that angst I've been making all of you suffer through? Yep... Say buh-bye. Well...you'll see. Hold on to your seats!

Oh, and I think a bunch of you have been holding on to some really big questions since chapter 1 or so... This is for you.

Thank you again for your willingness to look past the angst and for staying with me. Enjoy.

**Chapter 23 Playlist Song: All We Are, by OneRepublic (Part 1) **and **Your Love is a Song, by Switchfoot. **So right, for both.

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 23: On Our Own Deserted Island, Let Us Be**

One step forward, two back.

I watched Bella, _my Bella_-strong and sure and warm-and the Bella that Volterra had created-quiet and broken and guilty-come and go, trading places and taking turns. Her body was the same, but I knew that her mind was so much more laden than it had ever been before. And her heart. And by extension, mine.

We were in an endless cycle. Every day, Aro would call us out of our prison, have us escorted down to him via one of his guards, and ask Bella to join his ranks. And everyday, she would decline his offer, answering with no more than a simple, unimpassioned "_no_." The first day after Bella's bath and her failed hunt, he tried to threaten her again with my pain and torture and with hunting down those she loved, but her voice remained stoic and empty, her eyes hollow and unseeing. She didn't respond to his goading, so he motioned her away. The guard brought us back to the red velvet room, locked the door from the outside, and stood there as if on sentinel watch, waiting for Aro to call for us again.

Had it only been a week since we'd been in Forks, surrounded by our family and our meadow and sanity? It felt like it was more like months...years...lifetimes ago.

The second day, he tried to coax her, using sweet words and empty promises. She didn't even respond, and after and hour of her staring past him, he roared and sent us away again.

But by the third and fourth day, he wasn't trying anymore. He brought us both in and just asked her.

"Join me," he hissed, in a voice that was more serpentine than man, and just as she had before, she rejected him.

"No," she said. She didn't blink. There was no life in her voice. Aro was hurt now, and pouted, but then, like before, he sent us away.

Aro wasn't trying very hard, in my opinion. Which was very unlike him. But then, he was also keeping me out as much as he could. Actively. Still, I had wonder why he hadn't used me again, with Alec or Jane or even Felix. He'd not leveraged me yet. He had to be biding his time, planning something dark. Though I didn't know how anything could be darker than what he'd already done.

I was waiting for the shoe to drop, for the world to fall out from under our feet. _Again._ The moments seemed to stretch for us, in this timeless world where we seemed to be awaiting an execution of sorts, and I waited for Aro to do something-_anything-_or say something or think something that would put an end to the monotony. But there was nothing that I could glean from his mind or those in his service, as if he too were suspended in this moment. There were no mo grand attempts, or lavish plans.

There were times I wondered if Bella and I hadn't perished at his hand and just hadn't realized it yet.

I couldn't reach Bella, as much as I tried, not really. She was there, somewhere, and I'd seen her, but then she was gone again, dealing with the hand she'd been given, taking it all in and on herself. There were moments-where the sunlight through the tiny, tall windows would hit me, and she would look at me in the way that she used to in the meadow-but then they would slip away so quickly I wondered if I hadn't imagined them, simply willed them into existence for my own sake.

I wished for the return of that simple time, when we would sit and do nothing while I taught her about my life-where I would sit and watch her and want her.

We spoke little. What could one say? There was no room for small talk, no point in formal pleasantries. It was too late for that, too late for sweet talk and laughter and memories, because the memories were like a chasm, the laughter like a facade. Outside, the world continued on without us, but here in this place it was halted.

Sometimes, the light returned to her eyes and it made me remember. When the rays from the open window were sparkling off my horrible skin, casting tiny beams of light on the masonry, she looked like a girl again, wistful and young and full of life. For tiny, fleeting moments, I wondered if it wasn't because she felt what I felt-if when she and I had been alone in the house or away in our own special place, she was feeling the same way about me as I was about her.

Maybe, she even had feelings for me.

_Maybe._

But that wasn't the most important thing anymore. That long-ago longing felt selfish and wasteful and too-tender, like something frivolous. I wished we had the luxury, that there weren't darker more demanding things. I wished I could focus on the way her eyes had sparkled when I called her _love, _or the way she let me touch her and hold her as if she was already mine, or the way her face fell when I stepped away from her. All I wanted was to have her back, to know for certain she was still willing to fight, to be the young woman that I saw emerge from her transformation.

But here we were.

Five days since she'd tasted human blood. Five days since she fought and only half won, five days since I'd killed for her.

I'd do it again, over and over, if that is what she required.

I'd kill for her, die for her.

But it wasn't me that was dying. It was her. And not for the first time since I'd done it, I wondered if I made a terrible, unfathomable mistake.

* * *

"You need to leave me," she whispered in the dark. We were lying on the bed facing each other, our bodies mimicking one another. She placed her hand on mine and squeezed. Her other hand brushed over my exposed cheek, lingering under my eyes.

The thought of Bella and my separation created an ache in me that rivaled that of my death and burning. But we both knew that if we were together, they would be able to use me against her. Aro hadn't again, _yet_, but it was only a matter of time-only a matter of more days before I felt Janes power coursing through me again. Bella stood a better chance if we were apart. Unfortunately, she had it very backwards.

"Do you really think I could possibly leave you here? If anyone should go, it should be you. I can't get away without them finding me. You can go, there would be no trace," I told her. I reached up and brushed down her temple and over her chin to her lips. "You'd get away, Bella."

"So they could torture you to bring me back? I know the _second_ they realized I was gone, you'd be at their mercy. My god, Edward, they might even _kill_ you to try and get me to come back. I couldn't leave you. _No way."_

She lowered her eyes so that I could no longer see them anymore. Even that kind of separation was too much for me.

"I would feel that, you know," she said, softly. The air in the small space between us seemed to surge with the weight of our conversation. "Even if I wasn't with you. The moment they took your life, I would _know_ it."

I imagined a world where we were apart, where they had her, and I was powerless to stop them from exerting their control over her. I imagined myself far away from her, where I couldn't guess or know or see what she was going through. My head hurt, the splintering pain shooting to every part of me, simply at the thought. And I knew, without any doubt, that I would feel the same about her that she felt about me. No matter where I was in the world I would know it if Bella wasn't in it anymore.

She was quiet for a while, her forehead scrunched up in deep thought, her eyes closed, her chest rising and falling with desperate breath.

Out of nowhere, like a dream that I hadn't had, like a thought, I saw my Bella.

_She was weary, her body slumped and beaten to exhaustion, and thirsty, dark sunken bruises under her blood-red eyes. It was as if I were watching her from a distance, and floating over her in the air, and living inside her body with her, all at the same time._

_She was hiding in the shadows under the great clock in the city's square, her eyes on the ground, her hands tightly entwined, twisting and pulling and maybe praying. Sunlight was trying to touch her, reaching for her, just to her toes. And the humans in the bright mid-day sunlit square had no idea that she was there waiting, on the cusp of something great or terrifying or both._

I was afraid for the humans. Was that why I was seeing this almost-memory? Did I fear that, despite the fact that she said she wanted nothing more to do with human blood, she would still go after it, do anything to get it if she was broken enough? Was my subconscious telling me something?

_No, that wasn't it. She didn't want them-I could see that much. She was like summer, still so lovely despite her ragged appearance, but desolate and lonely and carrying the weight of too much. Still the woman I loved, but somehow apart. She was just a broken husk of what had once housed my only love. From her eyes I could tell that she was resolute and regretful and afraid._

_And she didn't quite look like my Bella, but just a little bit reversed, like oneself, when they were looking in the mirror._

_And then, I thought I could hear the tenor of her sweet, quiet mind._

_The only way..._

_She stepped out in the sunlight, her body radiant. And then..._

One second we were lying on the bed side by side. The next, I had her pinned against the wall, her arms above her head grasped in my hands. Despite the position she was in, I held her loosely, pushing into her with my hips so that she couldn't move. She was not afraid of me—she had no reason to be. She set her jaw and looked up at me purposefully, challenging me. For some reason, she seemed to understand why I was holding her this way, why my eyes burned red hot in a way that had nothing to do with the blood we'd consumed.

"You _saw_," she whispered, more in awe of it all than even I had had the chance to be. I hadn't analyzed it, didn't fully understand, and it wasn't until now that I realized it wasn't my own thought that had brought us to this point, but _hers. _I'd acted upon instinct, from what I thought were images brought on by my own subconscious. I just then realized, I must have read _her_ thoughts.

"How?" My mouth tried to make out more words, but I didn't hear the sound of them. The shock of the moment, of the way I had pounced upon her, of the fire that always burned between us, rattled in the air and caused me pause.

Of all the times to _finally_ hear what she kept locked away in her mind.

"Are you going to let me go?"

I still held her against the wall, her hands still bound tightly in mine, and she was still at my mercy. The miraculousness of the moment was turned bitter by the fact that I'd captured her and attacked her.

But still, it didn't _matter_. I would never and could never hurt her, and I would marvel at the fact that _finally_ I'd heard her mind. Later. Now, the most important thing I could have possibly imparted upon her was the fact that I knew her intentions-I saw every earth-demolishing moment of it-and I _would not_ allow it.

The first thing I'd seen in her mind, maybe the last, was _not_ the reason why she sometimes looked at me so peculiarly. It was _not_ a memory or a hope or a dream that she held close to her chest and that I would do anything to grant her. I _didn't_ see how she felt about me, or the reason why she accepted everything in our life so easily. _No_, it was a vision of just how far Bella would go to save me, to release me from the grasp of the Volturi. I saw her standing under the clock tower, waiting for the sun to reach the very top of the sky. In Bella's thought, she removed the cloak she wore so that she stood only dressed in the barest of clothing, so that all of her perfect skin would be accessible to the sun. And then, in the crowd full of humans, she would step out and expose her true nature to them. It would be too fast, and the Volturi would take care of her, disposing of her quickly. And then, in her mind, I would be set free to go on, the restraint that held me to them no longer _alive_.

"Don't you _dare_ think that again!" I growled in her ear, my body pressing further into her with my fury. The idea that she would sacrifice herself for my freedom was dizzying. My stomach rolled, and though I knew it to be an impossibility, I tried to stop myself from retching. Even now, remembering the mental image I'd seen, my vision blurred. I felt like I was falling, even though I could still feel her hands locked in mine, still feel the heat radiating off of her. She did not waiver in her resolve, and she used her body to push back into mine like a petulant child.

"It's the _only_ way, Edward," she spat, sounding more angry at me than I knew she was. She had so much that caused her this rage, so many things for which she had a right to lash out- for being forced into our marble-covered corner, for being used and manipulated and caged, for being discovered in her private plan to free me. She was at the end of her rope, her thoughts no longer rational. She wanted an end.

But she had no right to sacrifice what I held so dear. She breathed deeply, misplaced fire roaring through her.

"They will not let me go, and you don't belong here!" She freed one of her hand and reached up to stroke the dark shadows underneath my crimson red eyes. "_I_ did this to you," she whispered.

"I will _not_ let you do this!" I screamed, unable to let go of my own fear. She looked down, broke the contact with my eyes that was grounding me. Every bit of me was made to protect her, and here she wanted to throw everything away to save me. She did not understand what that would do to me. It leveled me; it _infuriated_ me. My body heaved with ragged breath against her. She pulled her eyes up to mine and a new determination sparkled in them. She raised her chin defiantly.

"What will you do to _stop_ me?"

I gripped her hands tighter, and jammed my knee against the wall between her thighs. She took a deep breath. Her breasts pushed against my own chest, and she finally had the sense to look almost ashamed. How could she threaten me with this? Didn't she understand what it would do to me to know that she was no more?

"If you do this," I growled, "I _will_ follow you. I will come back, and I will follow right in your footsteps. Because I will _not_ exist in a world where you don't."

I let her hands fall to her sides and ran my fingers through my hair, grasping and pulling so hard it very nearly hurt. She slid down to the ground and sobbed into her hands. I wanted to stay angry-angry that she thought that was even an option, angry that she'd even consider it, angry that we were even here in the first place-but I couldn't, not with her on the floor crying.

I knelt down in front of her and ran my hands up and down her arms in soothing circles, all the fury gone, all the agony of the memory burned effectively into my skull.

"Edward, there is no end to this," she said through her arid tears. "Everyday is the same, and I feel like we are in the twilight zone, spiraling in some other dimension we won't ever get out of. It's like every bad dream I've ever had and I have no idea how to wake from it."

She folded her arms over her bent knees and rested her cheek on her arms.

"It's the worst thing that you're here with me-that all this is because of me and you are suffering because of it-but it's also the best thing, and I don't know how to justify the two. If I didn't exist, then you wouldn't be here with me. I regret it and I don't, all at once."

Her words were punctuated by hiccups and her quivering voice.

"I don't," I told her. Her eyes rose up slowly to meet my gaze. "I don't regret it. I know that is surprising, coming from me. I've told you all along that I was sorry, but I'm not sorry that you are with me, Bella. I'm not sorry that I found you that night of the crash, and I'm not sorry that everything happened to bring you to me. I'm not even sorry that we are here, even though I really wish we weren't. My regret isn't for you, but the person I see in myself. My regret is for all the ways that I feel like I've failed you.

"But even so," I continued, "I'm not sorry for bringing you into my life. How could I regret the best thing that ever happened to me?"

She looked up at me and her eyes widened. She gasped softly.

"_I'm_ the best thing that has ever happened to you?" she asked softly.

"Of course," I told her. I ran my fingers down her cheek, trailing over where the tears that she'd been trying so hard to cry would have been. "You've changed me, Bella, in ways I can't even begin to tell you. If you didn't exist, I couldn't either."

She looked down, as if she were stealing herself to something.

"So, I guess separation is not an option," she said.

"No, separation is _definitely_ not an option."

"And you heard me? Thinking about how I could-"

"Yes," I interrupted, unable to let her remind me of the idea of ending her life. "I don't know how. I should try and call Carlisle."

It was a strange moment, this conversation. It was the most words we'd spoken in days, the most normal we'd attempted to converse. I was going to call Carlisle; she and I determined that we'd stick together, again; she was no longer going to attempt this _suicide_. _At what point had this become our _normal? _When had we arrived here, at this place that forced this to be the normality of our lives?_

I pulled out my phone only to realize that I had no more signal. It had been like that over the last few days, the signal coming and going, always at the most inappropriate moment. I didn't know if it was deliberate or not-or perhaps I was only being paranoid. We were in an ancient castle, after all.

I sighed, and pulled her to her feet, wrapping my arms all the way around her shoulders.

"You can't call him," she surmised.

"No," I told her, exasperated by the fact that it had been too many days since I'd spoken to Carlisle, too. He would be worried, his mind likely running through the long list of bad possibilities. And for the most part, he would be right. At least he had Alice, watching, monitoring. For not the first time since Bella drank blood, I wondered if they knew-if Alice had seen.

And how Carlisle felt, knowing he would have to look at my bloodied eyes again and forgive me.

Again.

Perhaps we truly were on our own here, blind and fumbling. The miraculous thought I'd seen from her haunted me still. It always would, something I would have with me until I perished. I pulled her to me and grounded myself in the fact that she was here, she was alive, and I'd stopped her train of thought for now.

"If you were stuck on a deserted island, what would you bring with you?" she whispered into my neck. Once again, she knew so much, and kept it all inside her, stewing it deep beneath the surface. She, too, wondered if we were truly all alone.

"You," I told her.

* * *

Something significant changed since we were last in the room with Aro, surrounded and enclosed by him and his guards. I don't know at what point Bella's resolve had seemed to twist and turn, and perhaps it was even because we now knew it was possible for me to hear her thoughts, but she was not the same as she'd been. She was still harboring enough guilt to bring a war-hardened man to his knees, and I could see that she was still uncertain and frightened and tenuous about the state of things, but there was more, something that seemed to simmer beneath the surface of her skin and through her bones and to the tips of her fingers. As we walked out to meet Aro again, both of us gearing up to face whatever threat he had for us that day, she even looked different. Her eyes were not as empty as they had been through the previous days, her face not as grave. It was as if, knowing that she would not be able to offer up her life without me following, she had moved on to the next phase of her own plans. Just like Aro, perhaps she decided that it was time for another approach.

"Edward and Bella," Aro said happily, "my treasured friends. Here we are again, hmm?" He was especially jovial, his mind less clouded with anger than it had been in the previous few days. Perhaps, if I'd not had the ability to read his thoughts, I would think that he was planing to give us a bit of freedom from the never-ending pull and tug, but I could hear quite clearly what his intent for us that day was.

Jane and Alec and Demetri stood at their usual spots to his left, awaiting the command that Aro was planning on giving. Renata was there, and Caius, and Marcus this time. He'd been absent for many of the proceedings since the slaughter, and I was surprised to see him there. His body had seemed weak the last time he'd been beside Aro in the turret, his mind burdened with the past and the present and the future, as if all of this was too much for him too. Marcus watched me-Bella-with hawk-like eyes and wary, wistful thoughts.

After centuries of Aro's games and manipulations and fanciful darkness, Marcus accepted it as second nature, but still... He was wavering in his own mind, like a great debate was happening. He was tired-of life, of torture, of all of _this_. Accepting it all was easy, like second nature now, but still he didn't enjoy the dry, muddied taste all of this left in his mouth.

_This will not be a good day_, he thought.

Jane was overly excited for Aro's plans, her mind bubbling with energy. Not only did he intent to use her and allow her to utilized her gift on me, but he was planning on throwing her brother in the mix as well. I'd anticipated it for some time, and I was surprised that Aro hadn't commanded him to use his powers yet. Where Jane could ignite, Alec could completely numb, weaken and destroy-not simply bodily, but in will, too. And while he truly believed that Bella would be immune to him, Aro knew that I would most assuredly _not_ be. If he could not break her by hurting me, perhaps he could break her when I felt nothing. No love, no air, no pounding in my chest where I could have sworn my heart now beat again for her. Nothing could prepare me for the intense pain and pressure of Jane's gift-it was new again each time, each like a brand new kind of agony. I tried anyway, tried to prepare myself before each visit before Aro. But Alec? I feared him most of all.

The idea that I wouldn't feel anything for Bella while he held me captive was like a blackness my mind wouldn't even imagine.

"So, I suppose I have to ask you again, Bella, if you will consider my request?" Aro said.

"If you feel you must," she said. I heard the bite in her tone, the way she spat back at him, the rigidity in her stance and the way she ground her teeth.

"And _will_ you?" He said it with a kind of hope, as if the possibility of it were more real since the last question. Did he hope that, with each passing day, she would grow more tired of, more impatient with, the game and simply give in? I wondered how many times-if ever-he'd been told _no_. Had _anyone _ever said no to Aro of Volterra? Had he ever whittled away at another, asked them over and over again to join them, or had he just killed them for their insubordinance-for their arrogance?

No, Aro had never been told no like this before, so many times it was making him crazy. He obsessed over it, thought about it constantly in solitude of his private chambers. I could see from the brief, telling flashes of his mind that, when he was alone, he was consumed, his vast mind analyzing and searching and wondering. He was raging and serene, laughing to himself and screaming at the walls. He was turning madder each times she denied him, seeing in shades of red and talking to himself. And it felt endless to him too, a concept that had never frightened him before. Perhaps that is why he was trying to test her with the same things over and over. Did Aro think that perhaps, he was stuck in a vicious cycle too, one that would be broken if only it was repeated enough?

Bella rolled her eyes and shook her head. And like he had before, Aro set about making her change her mind. As he had before, he signaled to Jane, who stepped forward and smiled sickly at me. I'd heard the very thought before, the way she enjoyed my pain, as if the loss of my sanity fueled her insanity. I felt the pain, and the electricity, and the burning, and the tingly almost-asleep agony, like every other time that Aro sent her to torture me.

But then, nothing was the same.

Like pictures going in and out of an old television set, I flashed between pain and madness and cool clarity and serenity. In and out, over and over again, I could feel nothing and then everything and then nothing again. Back and forth, faster than the blink of an eye, the marble room lost focus and my mind was clouded with the pain rippling like currents, but then sweeping back to reality with intensity, narrowing and clearing and sharpening.

And all around me was the sound of Bella, her voice loud and angry and strong, until there was no more pain. My eyes focused once again, and I realized that Bella was beside me, screaming like a gat gust of wind. Her eyes were wild and for just a moment after I returned, it reminded me of when she was desperate and standing over me with venom dripping from her mouth. But then, this Bella was not craving blood, but restitution and vengeance and the peace of our meadow and a future we didn't know if we'd ever have.

The flashing was gone now, and I remained in the present. The room no longer blurred in pain. I felt like I was in the eye of a great storm. The air between Bella and I was clear and serene, but around us, circling like a vortex, there was chaos. Nothing visible still, but I could feel the energy that was around me, keeping me close to her and with her. Her eyes were unfocused and wide, and there was no sound coming from her lips now, but she was crouched and her hands were balled tightly at her side.

This Bella was like a fire, burning hot and brilliant. She was angry, and in her rage, she was blocking me too, her supposed shield pulling me in and protecting me from Jane right along with her.

Jane's mouth fell open as she tried to concentrate on me, trying to bring me to the floor with her gift. It only took a moment before she gave up. She screamed in defeat, throwing her hands in the air and stomping her feet in childish tantrum.

The rest of the room was awe-struck, quiet and fearful. In their years, they'd seen many things, but this was almost new. Alec and Demetri watched on, one with petulance and one with desire and obsession. Caius' anger toward Aro's fascination with us grew, and Marcus tried desperately to hide his smile.

I looked over at Bella to find her watching me too, a look of pure confusion on her face. She staggered a little and let down her guard, and like a bubble had been all around me, I felt her power fall away from me. I was sure then that she had no idea what she was doing or how.

"Amazing!" Aro shouted, jumping to his feet and coming down the stairs toward us. His mind was racing, ingesting and cataloging and planning with the new knowledge that Bella's gift could extend to another. It was obvious to him that she was a shield, and a powerful one at that, he surmised. But there was so much more.

"Just as I've known all along!" he whooped, feeling something that resembled joy but was so much darker, so much more sinister. He hissed through his teeth and clenched his fists to contain it all. "I _knew_ you would be magnificent!"

It all fell into place for me then, like pieces of a puzzle that I'd never known existed, never known I'd needed to hunt for. Tiny fragments of memories, and images, and details were in Aro's head, swirling like they were caught in Dorothy's tornado-and it suddenly all came crashing to the earth and falling about me. It had all been there in his mind, in Demetri's, and Alec's, in Jacob Black's, in Charlie Swan's. I'd had it all before me, little moments with jagged edges and jutting fragments, but no one had let me have the full picture-_Bella_ hadn't let me have the full picture. But Aro was not hiding the details anymore from me and I now understood more than I ever had before.

About _why_ Bella was the way she was, and _why_ she accepted everything with such grace-why she let me _love_ her. And why she didn't scream in terror at her waking.

And why she'd asked me to save her.

_She'd known_. Before I even returned to find her dying in a car crash by the side of the road, Bella had known what I was. As a mere human girl, Bella Swan knew that I was a vampire.

They had been watching her, this quietly inquisitive young woman who asked too many questions and sought to many answers to things she had no business wondering about. Aro let me see all of it now, his mind buzzing with the way that they had found her, sought her, acquired her. He'd been so careful until now, keeping these pieces on the edge of his mind, guarding them like a clever scavenger, hoarding them and protecting them from me. But he was overwhelmed now, excited that she could do more than he ever imagined, because deep down, he had wondered if there wasn't more to her than just a mental shield all along.

He had thought that of her when she had still been breathing.

The Volturi had their hands in everything-they watched everything, saw everything, put themselves in positions to know everything, like when someone was getting too close. A website here, a forum there. Search engines constantly filtering and funneling towards them so that they always knew who was looking at what. And when someone gets too close, asks just the right questions, they step in to see if it is more than just a passing fancy-to see if it runs deeper than just a teenage, curious phase of black leather and pop culture, of finding their peculiar place in a world full of bullies and beauty queens.

Books borrowed from libraries, purchased from online retail stores-microfiches and ancient tomes and curious research for a little girl who moved around too much. And too much insight. IP addresses that turn into to real addresses, and impromptu trips to Washington State.

On a fishing expedition. Or a hunting expedition.

But then, they don't _normally_ find someone who Demetri can't track.

Aro smiled at me, letting me absorb all of the information that he was now letting me piece together. Of course Aro had tried to hide all of this from me, tried to keep me from knowing how deeply his desire for her talent ran-of how _long_ he'd been watching her and waiting for her.

Because I had been the one to throw a wrench into his plan. Unknowingly, but, still.

For months, Aro had been watching her. It started small, only a hit there, a hit here. It was standard protocol, a way for Aro to know more than what he could glean from visitors mind. The Volturi saw it as their duty, thier rightful position as the enforcers of the vampire world. Aro watched his kingdom, overseeing all that tried to touch it. And when Bella Swan, new student of Forks High School, they'd written it off as a normalcy, just another lonely human teen who watched to many bad horror movies and simply wanted to be part of the perceived taboo that vampires usually conjured.

But the more Bella asked questions, the more it was obvious in Volterra that they needed to take the next step. Aro sent Demetri on a mission that was meant to end her searching for good, by whatever means necessary. But rather than simply destroying her or her will, he learned quickly that Bella was different. When Demetri returned, his tail between his legs and very confused, with the knowledge that he wouldn't be able to track her, Aro began to take notice of my girl, my little human who had been trying to figure out what we were. Of course Aro wanted to know more, to see what he could glean from her latent talents. Aro wanted her, and he wanted to be the one to take her human life-to be her maker, her sire, so she would love him the way that Jane and Alec loved him, so that she would serve him without question and with total devotion. He sent Alec, with the hope that he could numb her-_of course_ he could, she was only a silly human girl, _after all_-and Santiago and Felix in case she was immune to Alec in the way that she was immune to Demetri...

But Alec and Aro's brutes had been too late. Just one day earlier, she wouldn't have been driving on the 101. If he was just a twelve hours sooner in sending them, they would have caught her, coming home from school, or before she drove out to Port Angeles that evening. And if _I_ hadn't decided to come home that way, maybe he would have never been able to bring her to Aro at all.

My mind whirled with the knowledge. The pieces all fit, just the way they were meant too, but still, the picture was too unclear, unfocused and hazy. I could see the truth in Aro's mind, very real memories that Aro had taken from all of the guard: the earth beneath Bella's window, wet and muddy, where Demetri stood and stared up at her nighttime-dark room as she lay sleeping and taunting him with her supposed shield; the mouse pointer that hovered in the middle of the screen, as Heidi tracked her Internet research remotely. The moment when Alec returned with out Bella, where Jane cowered out other fear for her brother, whose neck was wrapped tightly in Aro's shaking fingers.

I saw it from all of their perspective, each one of them knowing Aro's commands, but none of them truly understanding what he was searching for in this girl. No one knew how much she meant to him, even then. It all had happened, but I still could not wrap my mind around it.

Because I didn't understand _why_.

I stood my ground, taking all of it in. The room was quiet, the only sound the echoing of subterranean water that dripped from the grate in the marble circle. All this time, all those moments that I tried to comfort her and apologize for introducing her to this life, and she'd already known what I was before it even started.

_'Edward,' _she'd said, as she lay surrounded by chaos and blood and burning. '_Edward, save me."_

I turned to her. Her mind was blank to me again, as it had been only moments after I saw her suicide attempt earlier, so I could not hear the words that her mind was creating. She was beautiful, standing there in week-old, tattered clothes, her eyebrows pulled together and her soft pink bottom lip tugged askew in between her top teeth. She didn't see what I'd seen in Aro's memories, didn't know what I now knew of her past. She didn't know that things had just suddenly changed between us, that I had more than I knew what to do with, that I had so many questions for her. So her eyebrows were furrowed in question for my silence, her teeth torturing her lips in the way that she always did when she worried. I knew what those lips felt like on mine, what her hands felt like pulling at the hair on the nape of my neck. I knew what the sound of her voice was, and the way her laugh rippled up my spine.

But I didn't really _know_ anything. Not really.

"You _knew_," I whispered. It took her a second-just one-and then her eyes widened and her mouth fell open in a little gasp.

"I-I..." She began to stutter in a way that made me wish I hadn't missed her human life. But then I missed so much, hadn't I? It had been-_what_?-no more than a few months? _Fifty-one days to be exact._ And what did I know? Nothing. I knew nothing. She'd lived eighteen years before me, and I had only just realized I knew nothing about what she had loved or had wanted or even had known about before I turned her.

What was it that she most feared? Had she had many friends? Did she wish that her life had turned out different? Had she been afraid of the dark when she was a little girl? What was her favorite food, or who was her favorite teacher? What had she wanted to be when she grew up, where had she most wanted to go? Had she ever been kissed before me?

Had she ever been in _love_?

I began to doubt it all, her standing there in the great castle turret, worrying her non-human lip. My chest tightened painfully.

Aro interrupted my thoughts with his own.

_Do you see now? Do you see how you hold her back? She was meant to be one of us. And you don't even know all there is to know. You think she _loves_ you? No, Edward. She was only trying to get from point A to point B. You just happened to be the ticket there._

Aro, without even touching me, knew that I knew nothing, and he knew my inner weakness, the thing that really could break me. She was here, and I was thankful for that every moment, but Aro knew that I didn't tell her I loved her because I was so afraid she wouldn't say it back. He knew the things that haunted me in my sleeplessness, the thing that had all the power to destroy me.

Id never dreamed of hearing her words of love for me, never even considered that it was a possibility from her. But the hope was slipping out of my fingers now, falling at my feet and dragging me down. In our time together, she'd softened me to the rejection I just assumed would come when she saw the truth of what I was. She'd thawed my cold protection, shattered my defenses with her acceptance and patience and goodness. Had she only accepted my affection because she had no other choice? I closed my eyes and breathed in, grounding myself. One moment and then the next.

Survival was key.

Aro watched me curiously. I saw myself standing there, so exposed. He hoped that it would drive a wedge between us. It hadn't always been his plan, but now that he was seeing it play out before him, it gave him hope that soon this whole, messy business of coercion would fall behind him.

Easily, like falling. That's how he saw it now. If he couldn't break us, he planned to let us break each other.

Bella hadn't told me the whole truth about her life, but then, had I even asked? I'd been happy to just go on as if it didn't matter, in our own little bubble of my own creation, and I'd easily ignored the fact that she knew my name, and asked me to save her when clearly I was slobbering all over her dying body, and that she accepted everything so easily.

Of course Aro hoped that my views would change in light of my new knowledge, that I would turn on her or abandon her or that I would simply give her up.

Stupid vampire...didn't he know that it was already too late for me, and that I was already all in?

* * *

The sunlight shone through the too-high, too-small window, elongating and stretching over the bed. Bella sat in it's path, her face covered by a long drape of her hair, which caught the light and made it glow with strands of reds like fire, and golds, and shiny black, all tucked and twined into her mahogany. Aro sent us away again, letting us both stew in these new revelations. We walked back in silence, the _clip-clop _of our footfalls the only noise between us. It had stretched on and on, and she'd done nothing, said nothing, as she twisted her fingers in her lap on the edge of the ridiculous bed. I watched her, wanting and not wanting to begin the discussion that we needed to have. A few times, it looked as though she meant to speak, her lips forming too-silent words and her forehead pulling together.

But she seemed to keep changing her mind.

Silence hung between us like a curtain, her on one side, me on the other. And this felt more devastating than being alone, or being in Volterra, or never going back home.

I finally sighed, too impatient and selfish to let her internalize any more. The gentleman in me wished to give her time, let her control all of it, but the child in me only wanted answers, even if they ruined me.

"You knew," I said softly from across the room. I tried to keep the fear out of my voice, or the accusation, because I wasn't accusing her of anything, though I _was_ truly afraid. Like an injured dove, she'd seemed to tuck herself safely together, and I'd been hesitant to even approach her, as if nearness and sudden movement might startle her into flight. Too much had happened in the previous few days-she'd been rattled too much, pushed too far, been battered and bruised and broken to the point of insanity-and now, with knowledge that she had kept secrets from me, I worried that perhaps this was the final straw.

For her. I'd discovered long ago that it truly didn't matter what she did to _me_, as long as I would still be allowed to love her.

I'd always known she had secrets. I'd known that from the very beginning, and I'd not pressed her for more. Even at Jasper's warnings, I'd not asked her for the answers to the peculiar questions that had come up.

She finally looked up, looked at me for the first time since we were in the turret, since she realized that I now knew she had knowledge of vampires long before I told her. There was so much desperation in her eyes-and perhaps fear, too?-that I had to grip the arm of the lounger where I was sitting. My fingers dug into the plush fabric, tearing at the upholstery until it popped and groaned at the seams, as I tried to ground myself. I didn't understand how this could affect her so, how she could worry herself so much over the fact that she hid this from me, and the sadness that gripped her also commanded me. But then, I didn't know how much more there was that I _still _didn't know.

I remembered the way that she acted with me when she had first woken, how easily she took to being like us. I remembered the way she stood up for our life, how she seemed to ask me for it before I even realized that she had. I remembered the way she had looked in Jacob's memories: sad, broken, anxious-so much the same as now, and still so different. What more was there that she wasn't telling me?

_"_You knew what I was, didn't you? That night, when you begged me to save you...you knew what I was. How long?" I asked. She hesitated, wringing her hands and biting her lip again, and I could tell that answering me was about the last thing she wanted to do, as if giving me answers was somehow the worst thing she might _ever_ do.

She seemed to steel herself as she closed her eyes and breath deeply.

"A few months, I guess," she whispered. "I don't know for sure the moment when I realized."

She'd answered my question, certainly, though it did nothing to give me any real answers. There were so many that I had yet to discover from her. _How? Why? Why didn't you tell me? What was so bad that you couldn't _tell_ me? _I was desperate for it, any and all of it. Instead, I let the silence linger between us, hovering there like an interloper whose company we were only just tolerating. Out of propriety. Out of necessity.

Finally, I heard her softly sigh.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she said, in a tone that sounded so dejected and foreign. She'd never sounded like that, never used the tone with me, even when we were at our lowest point. It sounded as if this was the ending to something, rather than the very beginning. I couldn't tolerate the distance anymore. I rushed to her, using all my vampire speed to close the gap between us as fast as I could, tipping the chair back from my exit from it so that it crashed and splintered. I may have even surprised her when I took her fingers from her lap and twisted my own with hers.

"For _what_?" I asked, with more desperation than I'd intended. I craved her words-not apologies, but her _words_. I would take anything, I was thirsty for it. "_Tell_ me."

"For lying to you," she said. She avoided my eyes again, and I tugged on her hands to get her to look up. She didn't. She watched our hands together instead, and when I squeezed her fingers, she didn't squeeze them back. I watched her retreat into herself again, slipping and sliding further and further down the black hole. I couldn't lose her like that again.

This was worse than when she had drunk the blood and was searching herself. At least then I understood the reason why. I felt alone again, not because she was running to find something-herself or sanity or an end-but because it felt like she was running _away_ from me.

"_Bella," _I whined, and even to my own ears, I sounded too needy, too reliant on the words that I felt desperate to hear from her. "_Please_, tell me."

"I'm afraid you won't like what I have to say. I'm afraid..." she sighed sadly. "I'm _afraid_."

I transferred both of her hands to one of mine, and with my free hand I tilted her chin. I was nearly crawling out of my skin, wishing she would simply talk to me. But I hoped she couldn't see that in my eyes, and that I was doing a good enough job of hiding my own fear. I leaned over and put my lips at her ears.

"Try me," I whispered, offering a smile that I wasn't sure was convincing enough.

Was there anything she could say to me that would make me love her any less? _No_, I already knew there was not.

She still fumbled, and I realized at that moment that, if I didn't ask her for the exact things I wanted to know, she would never tell me. Something about the hidden truths that she'd been keeping locked away frightened her more than anything we'd faced-more than the monster that lived in her, more than the clawing memories of human blood, more than Aro himself. I didn't know why, exactly, but I could see that she feared what _I_ would do if I knew these mysteries.

I almost didn't ask her, just to save her from her quiet careful fear, just so we could go back to how it was before all of this-blissfully unaware, where we were together and where she let me love her just so, where there wasn't this distance standing between us. We'd come so far. What was one more secret? But then, we would never be able to go back to when I didn't know, not really.

"Bella," I said, finding her eyes and forcing her to stay with me. "Please tell me. Did you know about our kind before you moved to Forks?"

She shook her head.

"No," she said. Her voice was small. "I didn't know before I came to live with Charlie."

"Tell me how you figured it out," I coaxed. She looked away. "I promise-I _promise_, Bella-whatever you say, it won't change me, or you, or how much you mean to me. I just... I need to know."

For the first time, Bella didn't fully trust me. She wasn't sure I was telling her the truth. She was wary and guarded and protective. She bit her lip and warred with her instincts, her eyes so unsure and frightened. But we were at an impasse, and unless she moved us forward, we would go no further, feel no more, or ever get out. I wanted to kiss away the fear and anguish and hurt that she was holding on to from this secret, and I knew that no matter what she said, it really wouldn't change the way I needed her. After a beat, she nodded.

"I didn't know when I came to Forks," she started. "I guess a part of me never ruled it out-the supernatural. I mean, there are a lot of things that I don't understand but everyone _says_ is true, so I never really thought it was an impossibility, the idea of other beings or magic or even a god. I always thought that there was so much more to the world that we couldn't necessarily see, but I didn't know about _vampires, _exactly. I didn't know about _you_."

This was progress, this hint about her. She was telling me about herself, a tiny glimpse into my Bella as a human, a little fragment of what she was like-open, honest, accepting, a romantic, even though she would never admit to it. Perhaps, when she was all alone in her bed at night, she would hope for something like magic to be real. Lonely people thought of those things, people who were dying, or not really living, those who maybe weren't happy in their own skin. I heard it a lot, people who wished for fantasy to escape their own reality. It was human nature, and gives them something to grasp on tightly to rather than floundering. Had my Bella been like that, worried and wondering and grasping on to anything that turned out to be true?

"But I came to live with my dad, and things just felt _different_. I didn't plan on going looking for anything in this world, but it got to a point where those answers just made more sense than things I'd known all my life."

She sighed loudly, and turned away from me. It took all my will not to turn her back to me, force her eyes to mine. She'd yet to reveal anything that gave me any understanding.

"When I started out in all of this," she finally continued, "it was just something I felt compelled to do. I don't know what I expected, but the further and further I delved into it all-the more I felt like I understood-the more I worried that I was losing my mind."

She was telling me so much, I was sure of it. But _I_ didn't understand. She was talking around me, dancing around the secret that I knew she still harbored. Where had it all began, this hunting expedition? She had been _searching_ for something, actively trying to find the answers. At least, that is what I understood from Aro's mind and the minds of the Volturi who'd been a part of her retrieval. But _why_? It was as if she were speaking in riddles to me, teasing me with answers to arbitrary questions.

"Bella, why did you even _try_ to find out all of this? I know from what Aro showed me that you researched our kind-to a very precise and intuitive point, apparently-but _why_? What made you want to? Why would you even try?"

She steeled herself, closed her eyes for a moment, and turned back to me. I was taken aback by the look in her eyes-intense, solemn, and breathtakingly vulnerable. She was wary and open as a small child, fearful but willing, as if she'd long ago accepted some sort of miserable fate. I wanted to pull her into my chest and reassure her, make her see that none of it mattered. Only here and now.

"Because of _you_," she whispered.

"_Me_?" If I'd have had air in my lungs, it would have all left me in a whoosh. She sat here, in this room with me now, all because of the things she'd done as a human girl. All the researching, and questioning, and delving she'd done-likely innocently-she'd done because of _me_?

"I don't understand."

Her eyes were watching me, so much raw emotion in them that spanned so much: sorrow, regret, nervousness and hesitation, all rolled into one small young woman. She worried for my reaction, the admission that our presence here was somehow related to our brief but earth-shattering encounter. And I had to wonder at why that was. In the silence that stretched between us, I had time to ponder what my presence would stir in her to set her on this path.

Was she trying to protect herself from this life all along, only to have it thrust upon her anyway? Had I, in bringing her into my family and making her like me, doomed her to the thing that she feared most as a human? Had she known and was trying to protect herself? Is _that_ why she feared my reaction now? Or was there more? I reached up and brushed a stray hair away from her cheekbone. She closed her eyes and leaned into my touch, and again, it almost didn't matter-none of it.

I could have tried to forget her confession, tried to put it behind us. I wanted to let her keep her secrets, if it would mean that the turmoil in her would settle again.

But it never would, not really. I knew that we were at a precipice, and if I was going to jump it, I would have to close my eyes and simply leap. And hope she was waiting on the other side.

Or, perhaps it was her that needed the leap of faith.

"Help me understand, Bella," I whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I can't explain it, Edward. Growing up, I never felt..._perfectly right..._in my own skin. Not wrong, just not quite right. But when I saw you for that first time, and the way you looked at me-it held me, like I couldn't escape that one small moment where you first entered my life-like it was really important. I was never going to forget it. I knew that the second it happened and even though it was silly, just a random encounter, I couldn't shake how it made me feel. Not just some guy looking at some girl. And then you went away, and I still couldn't shake it. I was consumed."

She took a quick intake of breath and continued.

"At first, I was angry, when you didn't come back. Which was ridiculous, really, because I didn't even _know_ you, and I shouldn't have taken it personally that you were absent from school. I went through this whole jumble of emotions: I wondered if you were ill or hurt, and that made me worry for you, or if you moved away, which made me feel bad. But then, your siblings were in school, and I just kept waiting for you to show back up at class so I could tell you off."

She laughed softly to herself and I smiled at the sound. It felt like forever ago that I saw her laugh.

"I was so _angry_ at you-for taking off after you acted that way, for being so rude, for not being there so that I could _tell _you how rude you were...and most shocking, for leaving _me_. I kept thinking to myself, over and over, _'This is so stupid, why am I so concerned with the fact that this random guy isn't here_?' I took it personally, and I didn't really understand _why_. But in a way, I knew something wasn't right. I tried to push you away, to forget about that day, but I couldn't. I kept seeing you, your face and your eyes, and it wasn't like when you haven't seen someone for a while where you forget what, exactly, they look like," she said. "It was like, when you are looking at a photo. Everything was so clear. Like it is for me now."

_She was thinking of me while I was gone?_ Was it like how _I_ was thinking of _her_? Then, I'd thought I had obsessed over her because of the call of her blood, of the way I couldn't read her mind. I, too, was angry and frustrated and confused by the power she had over me. I _agonized_ over the idea that I was agonizing over this inconsequential meeting. But I realized now that it was so much more than that. I saw her, too, in my head-her face and her chocolate brown eyes, the bow of her lips and the long slender expanse of her neck. I imagined her while I was away, wondered what she was doing at that moment-and it was more than he fact that her blood sang to me.

"I dreamt about you," she whispered, a small smile playing on her lips at the hazy memory. "And everything was so _clear_. I'd wake up, and it had felt so real. I couldn't shake it. I'd look around the room to see if you were there, watching me sleep. Because it felt like you had been-it felt like you had been there with me."

She looked up to gauge my reaction. Her confessions were not what I had expected, and yet, they gave me more hope than I could have ever expected them to. She had dreamt of me, thought of me, obsessed over my absence. And I knew that if I'd had the ability to dream that way while I was away from her, she would have haunted me that way as well. I would have been as consumed by her in sleep as I was in waking. I suddenly mourned not being able to sleep, to dream of her that way. What could we _do_ in our dreams? I wondered if, in her dreams, she craved me the way that I had always craved her.

"You don't know how it affects me to hear you say that," I told her, tracing my fingertips down the side of her face. She sighed again, but I think it was more from relief-relief that I wasn't running at her confession. What would she think if I told her the way that _I _thought of her while I was away from her? It was so much more, and I had been so desperately unaware at that time.

"Really?"

"Yes, Bella," I said, finally feeling the pressure on my chest ease. "But I still don't understand why you began to research vampires. Surely you didn't just _assume _I was a vampire? That's a long stretch to make, I think."

She looked worried again for a second, stilling and tightening against my hands, her body all coiled. But then, in a moment of resolve, she relaxed again.

"You're right," she said. "I don't really understand it all myself-at least _why_ I felt the way I did. When you were away, I felt like I was sick, like I was missing a vital part of me. And I was doing everything I could just to make it to the next day. I walked into biology everyday, wondering if you would be there, and when you weren't, _everyday_, another piece of me sort of fell away. I think I was imploding, little by little. And I was grasping at straws trying to understand why. So I started analyzing, looking at everything, to the point it became an obsession."

I understood. When I wasn't near her, I felt like a piece of _me_ was missing. But the fact that she felt that way as a human was amazing, and hypnotic. My body buzzed, leaning into her, thirsting for her in a way that I'd never thirsted for her blood.

"It started with a story that Jake told me, one night when I was visiting him at the reservation. He mentioned something that resonated with me, and then I had this horrible dream about it, and when I woke up, it was like a lightbulb turned on, like that weird moment when you first wake up that your dream makes more sense than reality."

I wished I could remember those times, the hazy alternate reality where your dream self understands more than your alive, breathing self. I would have dreamed of Bella, and it would have made me want to be a man that she would have been proud of. But I had not dreamt for so long, I couldn't remember what it was like.

"Your family was beautiful-_you_ were beautiful-and they weren't around in the sun. Ever." She laughed to herself, somewhat sadly. "I re-read Dracula, I watched the movies at first-all the ones I could think of-and I know that is nothing like what it's really like, but it didn't deter me. I think it just pushed me on, urging me to find out the real truth, and I researched it to the point that I could barely focus on anything else. It just made more sense than anything else-you and your family as vampires was easier to understand than anything that I knew was real. At least, in my own head, it made more sense."

I snorted softly, hearing her talk about her early methods of research. She made it seem like it was just a natural leap for her, one point to the next? Was it so easy? Was it so easy to understand what we were, or was there more to it than that? I'd always thought she was special-_knew_ she was special-but there was so much more evidence of that now. She was so much more special as a human, too. And maybe she had been more attuned to this life than I'd ever even imagined. Maybe, in a strange, grotesque way, she was even _meant_ for it.

"Edward, I felt like I was dying inside," she choked. "At least believing that you were part of some other, totally separate world made me think there was some semblance of order. It _hurt_, and I had no idea why, and I couldn't make it go away no matter how hard I tried. Believing that you were a vampire was like... _relief_, at least a little. I wasn't like you, and I didn't belong with you in your world, so that was something I could learn to accept. But the fact that you were gone felt so personal."

I pulled her into my arms and she snuggled into me. This was what she had been so frightened of, these feelings inside her that she hadn't been able to explain.

"Jacob told you about us," I said, feeling a pang in my heart. My chest instantly tightened and pulled at me, admonishing me for asking her about him. I remembered the way he grieved over her, the fact that he still loved her despite what she was. There had been a real connection between them, one that I didn't understand. Even now, I wondered if in another circumstance, they wouldn't remain friends somehow.

"Yes," she answered. "But he didn't believe any of it at the time."

She snorted girlishly.

"I guess that's changed," she snarked.

"He cares for you," I admitted, though the words felt like ash on my tongue. "Perhaps he was trying to protect you."

She whirled in my arms, her eyes wide and worried. She leaned up and wrapped her fingers in my hair.

"I know," she said softly, "that Jacob thinks he loves me. I _tried_ with him. At first, I thought I was just being a dumb girl, obsessing over a guy who was elusive and dangerous and beautiful-but _Jacob_ was beautiful too. And warm and good, and so I tried-to make everyone happy, to make my father and Jake happy.

"But it wasn't _right_," she whispered. "In another time, in another world, I could have loved Jake. But me, in _this_ world? I couldn't-I _can't_. I tried, and when I did I felt like my chest and my heart were ripping in two. Like I was betraying a very piece of myself."

I sighed with relief, unwilling to let it mean too much. I wanted to, but what if I was misunderstanding what she was saying? I'd shielded myself for too long to let go so easily. When I didn't respond, she turned and settled against me again.

"Tell me about the night I found you," I whispered into her hair. I knew this was important, too. I kissed her hair, felt the tactile soft strands against my lips, holding me firmly to my place on the earth. A piece of the puzzle. "You begged me to save you, didn't you?"

"The night of the car accident, my dad made me go to that party in Port Angeles. I'd not been eating, or sleeping well, or doing anything at all, really. He told me to go do something 'normal,' and asked me if I knew about anything going on that would be fun. So I told him about the party that I'd heard some of the girls whispering about in the locker room that Friday."

I felt her sigh deeply, the weight of all of this on her tiny shoulders. She was remembering that moment in her life, where she made an excuse. She was remembering the pain of telling her father goodbye in the form of a manufactured homework assignment and knowing that he was suffering in a way that no parent should have to suffer. I squeezed her tightly as she shook softly, whispering _shhh's_ into her temple.

"I lied to him," she breathed. "I told him that it was for a few of my 'friends' from school, and that their parents would be there. But, you know, I think he was grasping at straws too-because he'd been so worried about me, and he just accepted whatever I told him-because it didn't matter that it was a city away, or that I didn't really know anyone that was going to be there. I wondered if he knew that all along, and was just relieved that I wasn't sitting around staring at a wall. I went because it was something I thought would make him happy, and I stared at the wall there instead, letting people party and drink and dance all around me. I was so unhappy there, like a part of me was pulling me back to Forks. So I waited until the last person was drunk and passed out, and I left. I never even spoke to anyone."

She turned in my arms again. Her face was soft and her eyes were so sad, and she pulled herself up and grasped my face in her hands. Her little body trembled where I was still holding her close. She licked her lips and leaned into me, and I held on to her so tightly, because I was afraid she might dissipate if I didn't.

"Do you know what the last thing I was thinking, Edward, as the semi truck was coming at me?" She asked, almost begged. I couldn't know, though I wished I had. I wished I had her last coherent thought in my mind, to have known at least a little piece of her human life, to have suffered something with her there in that life too. I felt like I had failed her again, so long ago when I hadn't returned. What if I had come back immediately? What if I'd have come back right away, to find her alive? Would she have found out about me anyway? Would I have been able to protect her from Aro, from Demetri and Alec when they came looking? Would she have let me love her-because I know that I _would_ have-and would she have wanted _me_?

"No, Bella," I whispered, so overcome with her confessions and the depth of her emotions at the moment. She was so strong and yet so trembling and vulnerable. She was hesitant but brave, and passionate and eager.

"I was thinking," she said, leaning up and pressing her lips to mine, '_I'm never going to see _him_ again._' I didn't think about my dad, or my mom, or the fact that my life was ending-in fact, maybe a piece of me was relieved, like '_thank god, at least it will be over_.' But I _did _grieve for you, and never seeing you again. And then I did, as I was lying there, and I thought I was where I needed to be. You were there, and it felt _so_ right."

Her lips stopped their nearly-there brushing when she stopped talking, but she kissed me, full and warm against my own, so willing and open. I held her more tightly than I should have. And I was overwhelmed and breaking, out of unbelief and sweet relief and sobering gratitude. And she held me together, her arms around me and her lips on me, and it was like she knew that I couldn't handle all of it. She still held me tight as I broke away from her.

"Why did you not want to tell me?" I asked, my voice shaking. "Why was it so difficult for you to say these things to me? Why were you so afraid?"

"It's not an easy thing to tell someone that they are the only reason you exist."

"I know," I whispered softly, brushing the hair away from her face. There were no tears, again, because she was not capable. "Because I haven't been telling _you_ that."

"I thought you'd want nothing to do with me after you found out all this," she said, her voice stuck with emotion. "I thought you'd run away from me, that you'd _leave_ me again. It's the thing that I fear the most. Is it too much? Is all of this too much?"

"No," I told her, unable to hold back my own emotion. It was joy and pain and regret, all at once. "It's _everything_."

"I've tried so hard not to, but I can't stop. I _love_ you," she whispered. My heart clenched so tightly in my chest, like it was being squeezed into submission-like it was _her _tiny hand gripping it-I thought it might burst. The words that I'd held back out of fear were falling from _her_ lips, and I thought, for just a moment, I _was _finally in a dream.

"I love you so much it hurts," she whimpered. "It's the best and worst kind of thing, but no matter how I try, I can't stop the way I feel like you're part of me. I never want you to go away again-I couldn't _survive_ it. Please, don't leave me, Edward. Please, _please,_ don't leave me."

She sobbed softly against me, placing her lips against mine again. Her eyes were closed. I kissed her eyelids and her temples and her throat just below her ear.

"Shh," I whispered, willing her to calm-for _me _to calm-enough to tell her everything. "You're so much... _braver_ than I am. I _love_ you, Bella. _God_, I love you. More than I have any right to, but I'm not going anywhere. I belong to you, in every way. I _love_ you."

The words had echoed in my head so many times I couldn't even count. They'd seeped into the crevices, meandered through each one of the membranes, caked and clouded my pores, and I'd never said them to her. I was afraid to, because even though I understood the mated bond, I never in my wildest dreams imagined I'd have it, and even if I did, I didn't think I deserved it with Bella.

_I-Love-Yous _felt different once they passed your lips. They felt more real, more permanent, more important, as if they could never be erased. So much more frightening. But so much more powerful and potent and so, so much sweeter.

She whimpered and shook, soft little hiccups coming from her throat. It was desperate and needy in a way it had never been before-sweet and simmering and like a drowning man gasping for air.

There was so much more we needed to talk about, to say to one another-so many more things to tell each other, about our lives before the other, about our wants and hopes and dreams-but at the moment, all we needed to do was _stop talking_. All of that would come later. I would find out all her secrets and she mine.

We had as long as we could make eternity last.

For the moment no more words were necessary. I needed to hold her and kiss her and just breath her in, and she needed to hold me, if for nothing more than to just know the other existed and was going nowhere. I wanted to kiss and love all her pain and sadness away.

I kissed her harder, pulling her up against me with a hungry intensity, insatiable and greedy, and her voice caught in her throat, little sobs all stuck between us. I pulled at her, and suddenly, all the ways that we had touched in the past was not enough. There was no ease, no sweetness in the kiss as there had been before. There was no innocence, but need and anger and pain and devastation. We were grasping onto what little we could, and as I already told her, it was everything.

She crawled into my lap, clawing and climbing and eking even further into me, and her legs wrapped around my hips, and suddenly there was too much between us- too much space, too much depth, too much clothing.

I wanted to make love to her, to show her with my body how much a part of me she was. I'd lusted after her before, craved her, wanted her in this way, but never so acutely. It was less want and more need, like being one with her was as necessary as breathing for a human, or quenching one's thirst.

Her lips melded with mine, and the electricity that always existed between us seemed to ignite me. She was panting quietly, as was I. My hands couldn't get enough of her, her soft flesh under my palms just barely not enough to satisfy my desires. I ran my fingers up her arms and over the length of her neck, and through her hair. I couldn't pull her near enough.

I wanted to be inside her-not just sex, but I wanted to live in her, be her breath and sustenance and venom-and I wanted her to be inside me, too. I wanted her flesh against me, to feel her the way that she was meant to be against me, to feel her skin as it shared its heat with mine. I wanted her to feel it, really feel, the fact that she was my mate.

Because she _was. _I would never doubt it again.

Her fate was twisted and twined with mine.

She felt it too, because she pulled away, just enough that I could speak, her lips dancing over mine. Our eyes met as I tugged at the offending material of her shirt that separated us.

"This needs to-" I started.

"-come off," she finished breathlessly. She placed her hands over mine, squeezing my fingers to grip the hem of her shirt, and together, pulled it up over her head. It fell away from my hands, on the floor beside the bed. She reached for my shirt, pulling it up in the same way and exposing my belly and chest until it was gone and replaced with her hands all over me instead. Over my ribcage, down my stomach, everywhere but not nearly enough. I could feel the burning heat of her body flush against mine.

I pulled her hair to the side, lifting it away and holding against her head in a messy ball that fell through my fingers. I kissed her neck, sucking at the tender flesh there, pulling it in with a pop, twirling my tongue and hearing her moan. She ran her fingers over the edge of my pants, and my stomach muscles twitched with pleasure. Her fingers trailed through the hair that ran down the center of my body, over my ribs, scratching my nipples, upward, and then over my shoulders.

I kissed over her cheek and down her jaw and her neck again and to her smooth, bare shoulders-creating a trail with my lips to calm myself. My body was aching for her, needing her in a way that made her blood feel insignificant. Like the steady, hypnotic rhythm of a drum, I was pulsing to her beat.

"So beautiful," I murmured against the top of her shoulder. I revered her here, at this small part of her body, this seemingly insignificant portion of her anatomy- even her shoulder turned me on. She was so electric, so warm and real in my arms. So alive.

I splayed my fingers over her shoulder blades and the back of her arms and down through her fingers. She closed her eyes, letting me touch her, feeling the way my fingers teased her. She moaned softly. It only spurred me on. I was out of my head, dizzy from her nearness and her sensuality. She was breathtaking.

I wanted her in a way I'd never imagined possible. The way she felt against me, her body soft and delicate, hard and full all at the same time, was driving me crazy. I felt like I was a drunk man, stumbling and tripping over himself to get to her, my mind weakened by the desires of my body.

Between us, I was already ready for her. I was hard and wanting, my body pulsing like a heart beat to get to her. Had I not been a vampire, I wondered if i'd have been able to still the urges, the way her body was calling like a siren to me. My instincts to devour her body were heady, coating the air and making me sway.

I kissed her beneath her ear, loving the way she grasped at me, pulling and urging me. Fire spread through me wherever her hands were-in my hair, grasping and tugging, over the muscles of my shoulders and lower back, clawing at me to find more purchase.

And I knew, that in no time at all, I would not be able to stop the progression of my need for her. We were at a line, ripping and arching and nearly tumbling over it. Soon, we would be too far, and there would be no going back.

The monster growled and spit at me as I pulled my lips away from her delicate flesh. I placed one more kiss on her naked collarbone, and found her eyes. They were rich and deep and churning. She was nearly a drunk as I.

"Bella, if you don't want this, just tell me," I said softly. She shook her head quickly back and forth, as if she were dispelling something from her mind, shaking something free. It halted me.

"You said you belong too me in every way. Belong to me _this_ way, Edward. Show me how much you love me. Make me yours in this way, too."

"I've never done this," I told her. I couldn't look into her eyes. I focused on the curve of her neck, the way her body rose and fell with too-heavy breaths. She didn't need to, but still she was breathless from our kissing and touching and needing. Like she was trying to breath it all in but it just wasn't enough. I was nervous, not because I didn't know that this was right-this was more _right _than anything had ever been before. But I worried that in all my book knowledge, I wouldn't be enough for her. My god, this beautiful woman deserved so much pleasure. I'd never put anything to practical application.

"Neither have I," she said softly, tilting my head to look at her for once. Her eyes were so clear and focused, and ready and willing. "It doesn't _matter_."

She shifted, and I knew she could feel my need for her, pressing against the warmest part of her. She arched and gasped and pressed herself back against me meeting my eyes with such power it made my head spin. She was drowsy, delirious off the burning arousal that filled the air between us, but her eyes told me she was sure-clear in this, and sensually in control. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to my jaw, and then the corner of my lips.

"Make love to me," she purred against my lips.

In another time, in another place, perhaps I would have stopped this, slowed it to protect her heart or her soul or her body, but here in this place, where there was nothing but ruin all around us, I would not deny her anything, regardless of the state of our souls. How could this be wrong? How could this be a sacrificial indignation to her soul? She was my mate-my body _already_ belonged to her.

I slowed the dangerous roll we were on, the train that was speeding full throttle toward chaos, forcing myself to savor each moment. The feel of her fingers laced through my hair, the sweet wetness of her lips on mine, the way that her tongue peeked between our lips and danced with mine. I focused on the feel of the mattress beneath my knees as I bent her over and laid her down on the red duvet, and the bright and wild look in her wide, cranberry eyes.

I kissed her softly and slowly, the apple of her cheeks and the curve of her upper lips, her earlobe, her temple and her closed eyelids as she sighed deeply and breathed in. This was slower, gentler, but not lacking passion. Like we were rolling on our own ocean, sliding with waves of our own creation. She wanted my love, not just my sex-my passion was more than just the physical manifestation of the connection. The emotional was so much more poignant. She wrapped me up inside her arms and twisted her legs with mine so that I was stuck to her.

Beneath me, she squirmed and shimmied, arching herself into me so that her breasts pushed against me, my pecks, my sternum. She was wearing that bra again-the white one with the satin and lace that had gotten so sopping wet while I washed her, but I wasn't concentrating on the bra, but the texture of it as it brushed against my too-sensitive nipples, the way it filled with her delicate-but-perfect breasts, the way it peaked in the centers with the evidence of her own arousal. I ran my palm down her cheeks and her neck and her collarbone and to her chest. She hissed when my fingertips grazed the peak of her right breast.

I wanted to touch her flesh, feel the full roundness of her against my palm and my chest, where my skin already tingled for her.

She sat up pushing me away, and for just a moment, I thought I had pushed her too much, expected too much. My chest constricted infinitesimally, until I noticed her reaching around to her back. In what was fast even in my vampire opinion, she'd single-handedly unclasped her bra. It fell away from her as she peeled it off herself.

She was magnificent. Her breasts bounced gently as she moved to my lap. Perhaps I was dumbfounded-perhaps I was stilled by the fact that she was actually bare in front of me, because she crawled to me and perched herself in my lap, wrapping herself around me, and I didn't move. I'd imagined seeing Bella bare before me so many times, but in all my imagination, I couldn't have known that she was so lovely, the way that her tiny ribcage held her so buoyantly, the way that her body sloped and arched and curved so perfectly. She kissed me, pressing every bit of her naked skin against every bit of mine. I splayed my hands against the expanse of her back, reveling in the places where I'd only felt fabric before.

I let Bella lead, and she was so willing to do so. It wasn't long before this wasn't enough for her, not enough naked flesh, not enough contact, or rocking or teasing or desperate pleasure...just not enough. She groaned in what sounded like frustration and pushed me down. Her hands were hard on my chest, and she spread her fingers over the muscles there and kneaded me. My head was at the wrong end of the bed, and she was above me, pinning my hips with hers. She rocked against me, rolling herself against where I wanted her with such insanity, where my body screamed to fit itself to her. I rocked against her, letting her ride the pulsing hardness between us, with almost-uncontrollable energy. I held her hips, squeezing her and guiding her because my hands _were_ uncontrollable.

She moaned softly, closing her eyes to the ceiling. Seeing Bella nearly bare and rocking above me was nothing short of the most beautiful thing I'd ever experienced. I reached up and cupped her breasts, feeling the peaks of them tighten and tense and elongate. She whimpered as her eyes shot down and locked onto mine.

"Oh, Edward," she sighed, all breathy and aching and girlish, like it was hurting her not to have more. I hissed, the combination of her heat and my name and the dangerous sensuality in her voice almost too much for me.

"My god, Bella...my _love_. You're so beautiful...oh, _dear god_, you're so beautiful," I whispered. She leaned down and kissed me-hungry and slowly, needy and gentle, greedy and impatient and so giving, new and completely at home, this felt more right than anything I'd ever known. I felt more _me_ than I ever had breathing as a human, or drinking human blood, or hunting in the forest.

"I need more, Edward. Please," she begged.

I lifted her again, placing her head gently against the mound of pillows at the head of the bed. Her hair fanned out against the reds and blacks of the fabric. I leaned into her, my lips dancing with hers to the hypnotic thrumming in my ears. Slowly, I worked my way down, moving against her like liquid, trailing my tongue and lips and teeth down her body-over her chin and into the delicate dip in the center of her throat, between her breasts and over each of them. I kissed her nipples, the now-tight little nubs, and she whispered incoherent words to the sky. She tasted so good, warm and sweet like sun and air, and I could have lingered on her nipples, licking and sucking at them, for the rest of time.

She moaned deep in her throat, and the sound of it shot straight down my belly, through my belly button into my rock-hard length. God, the feeling was both amazing and painful at the same time. I'd never imagined it was possible for me to be so excited, my body so ready for her-aching and weeping and urging me on like a chant. But then, my _mind_ was, my _heart. _Why wouldn't my body react in the same way?

I looked up her body and into her eyes, only to find her looking at we with as much desire and wanton abandon as I was feeling. Her eyes were hooded with sultry desire, her lips parted so that I could feel her shallow breaths tickling my forehead over and over. Her eyelashes made shadows over her cheeks as they fluttered shut. I smiled against her skin as she ran her fingers through my hair and down over the side of my face, her eyebrows pulling together.

I moved down, kissing her abdomen, dipping my tongue into her belly button because it was too hard to resist not, teasing the skin just above her pants with little pecks all over her belly. She grunted, frustrated, as I smiled against her skin. I enjoyed the smooth strong lines of her belly, the strong but soft womanly roundness of her abdomen. She squirmed at my play, the halt that stopped me right before I revealed her. But I needed the slowness, to ground myself.

I could smell her, the way she ached for me. I'd been privy to many men's desirous thoughts about women. I knew what turned them on, what caused them erratic need and mind numbing pleasure. Through the years, through others' minds, I'd seen and heard and experienced my fair share of what it was like for a man to be so close to a woman, so tempted by her arousal, to smell her scent and feel her heat. And I'd never _fully_ understood. I'd never known. Bella was hot and musky, sweet and more lovely than anything I'd ever seen in anyone else's head before. This was for _me_. The thought sent me into a tailspin.

My fingers danced at her waistband. I looked up again to find her watching me, her bottom lip between her teeth and her forehead scrunched together as if she were pained.

"May I?" I asked her, more out of decency than any real wonder. I could tell how badly she wanted this. It was very nearly as badly as I did.

"Yes," she moaned.

I popped the button of her pants and peeled the clothing down her leg slowly, so achingly slowly, revealing soft, untouched skin inch by inch. I moved down her body with the fabric in my hands, kissing her hip, then her thigh, and the inside of her knee, the curving flesh of her calf and the arch of her foot. She was so exquisite, watching me kiss down her body with her half-closed eyes and soft, shallow and tremulous intakes of breath. Her fingers were spread and her palms pushed into the bedspread, as if it was the only thing keeping her where she was.

"Edward," she whispered. Her voice shook with need. "Please."

I tossed her pants to the side, adding to the growing pile of clothing and climbed up her, kissing my way up her other leg. I passed where she was hot and wet and womanly, unable to stifle the growl that rose in my throat. Instinct bubbled in me, unbidden, and I had to clench my fists and my jaw in order to maintain control. _Mine, _my body growled. In my pants, I twitched. I had to fight down the urge to kiss her there too, to place my lips and tongue and teeth on her right there, where, even through her panties, I could tell that the bundle of nerves there was tender and swollen.

Her eyes were bright and wide and I leaned over her, watching my fingers as they danced across her perfect skin. She ran her fingers up the side of my face.

"Edward," she sighed again, twisting her little hands in my hair. The sound of my name falling from her lips, for no other purpose than to simply breath it and out of her desire, caused my chest to swell, my heart to tumble, my groin to twitch again. The feelings inside me felt foreign but still so natural, as if my need for her was born with me. There had never been anyone who had caused this ache in me, this intensity of desire-there never would be again.

_Bella_ was the one that reached down an undid my pants. _She_ was the one that pushed down her own panties, leaving them beside the bed. _Bella_ ran her hands down my thighs like I had done to her, and brushed her palm over the top of where I wanted her, causing me to arch up off the bed. _Bella_ was the one who finally undressed me, made me naked like her, so that there was nothing that could separate us. _Bella_ pressed and pulled and took my hand and led me.

I lifted her into my arms, sat her in my lap. She wrapped her arms around my neck, our bodies bare and warm, creating fireworks of friction. Her breasts pressed against me, tickling me and teasing me with barely-there strokes. I kissed her softly, roughly. I licked and sucked and tormented her, making her whimper and moan, her words dissipating into nonsense and ramble. She slid herself against me, where I throbbed and pulsed, her silky slickness coating the hardness between us.

She was burning, too-hot fire that threatened to be consumed in my arms. But, god, for my life I couldn't let her go. Her body trembled as I continued to kiss her deeply, our tongues dancing, while her soft pink flesh rubbed against me, her little nub that was now all wet with her own slickness, tender and driving her wild. Her voice turned high, and I knew that the tremulous friction against her most sensitive spot was nudging her closer to the edge. I wanted to push her, watch her face and her mouth and her eyes as she tumbled. For me.

I didn't care if I fell with her or not-_her _ecstasy was the only thing that mattered to me-though I was tripping over myself too, trying to maintain balance. She was driving me mad, more insane than I could have ever been tantalized by her blood, or by the friction of my own hand. I'd not known-never anticipated-that it would feel like this with her against me, a sensitive quivering that constricted and tormented me. And I was not yet even inside her. How much more would it be when she was all around me, holding me and squeezing me and coaxing me with her body? A little like dying, I thought.

No, all that mattered at this moment was her pleasure. She was so close-I could tell by the way that she was whimpering, her legs shaking and tightening around my hips. She was simpering short-sylabled words-oh's and ah's and sexy little uh's. She was breathtaking. I leaned down to kiss her pointed little nipple, but she stopped me.

"I need you, Edward. I want you inside me," she said.

I stilled, suddenly frightened. I wanted to, _needed to, _so badly that I thought I might burst. My body was so coiled that I imagined if her hands weren't on me and her legs wrapped around me, I might spin out of control like a top. But while I wanted to give her everything, I'd never known such intensity, such ungodly pleasure as this, and I wasn't even orgasming yet. What if I hurt her? What if it wasn't enough for her?

She leaned back and took my face between her hands, gently stroking with her thumbs.

"I love you," she said, kissing me. "Don't over-think this. It's where you belong. You are my _mate_."

There was so much sincerity in her voice, as she tried to calm my worries that she must have easily seen on my face, that I couldn't help but let all my doubts fall away. It was nearly as easy as falling in love with her, this sure feeling as it swelled in my chest. This _was _right, more real and natural and right than anything had ever been-ever.

Her hot, wet, '_please_' against the shell of my ear cemented the faith I had in this. It proved to me that my solitary purpose for being on the earth was to please and pleasure her. I knew, in that moment, that all of this-my human life, and the illness that nearly took me, Carlisle and my vampiric burning, and all my years alone-all of it had been so that I could meet her. So that I could love her.

I shifted her in my arms, lifted her slightly, placing her up and over me. The very tip of me found her heat easily, and I held her there, hovering above me just on the precipice. It was already so much more. She watched between us, to my length just pressing against the soft hot pink of her beneath a dainty swirl of dark curls, and moaned loudly deep in her throat, wiggling herself against me as if to urge me on. She was impatient and crazed and nearly-weeping.

I pressed into her slowly, feeling her stretch around me, loving the way she just barely fit me. She contained me and melded to me. Inch by tortuous inch. She gasped and clutched onto me tighter, and I felt her squeeze me with her hands while she squeezed me tightly with the muscles deep inside her.

It was too much, so much pleasure and heat and friction against me that I had to fight to control my cumming. I was so unprepared for it, in the tingling jolts of pleasure that shot through my shaft, just from the small movement of entering her. Had I not been a vampire, I'd have already lost it. I buried my head against her neck, pressed my teeth into her just a little, as I focused on her arms around me and the small of her back where my hand was on her, and her hair as it brushed my shoulder. Anything to keep me from focusing on how fucking amazing it felt to be in her.

I looked up quickly at the sound of her gasp, only to find her eyes closed as she trembled with pleasure. That was nothing more glorious than Bella in my lap, hanging on tight and rocking with me, whispering my name in her pleasure. Her teeth bit down on her lip and her hands clawed at me. I leaned forward and absorbed her moans with my mouth, mixing them with my own.

I was home with her naked in my arms. The push and pull grew, blossoming between us like life on fast forward. Inching, inching, needing, loving. I could feel the line, so much more than I even thought possible.

She rocked against me, our hips meeting each other, and the aching and the electric currents grew brighter as they pulsed down and through me, touching further and further around my back and up my spine and down around again to the place where we were joined.

It grew frantic, fast, and unbelievably more hot. I was afraid I might break, or break her, or break the connection between us, from the way that I simply couldn't get enough. We were wild. Fast. Wet. Warm. We moaned and sighed. I whispered her name in reverence, over and over, because my worship of her was not enough. Each little noise pulled at me more than the next, broke me, battered me...healed me.

And then there was nothing but light. Like dancing in a dark field of fireflies, or a quiet rain through the canopy trees that echoed over the solace there. Like cool keys under my fingertips and music lilting through the air, a sweet lullaby that was every good thing in the world. It was like swimming in the center of the ocean and running over the mountaintops where the air was too thin, kicking up soft powder in my wake. It was like drinking deeply from a pulsing vein, like feeling life slip through my fingers. It was out-running light, and feeling the lightning as it ripped apart the oak, branch by branch, deep down into the root and the clay and the rock beneath. There was deep pleasure, blinding agony, immense joy and desperate fear. Fire tore up my spine, through my chest cavity and through my penis and the sack below.

And like time seemed to still, there was a moment of weightlessness. Everything around us stopped, hung in the air like bubbles. I _saw_ the pleasure and the excitement, bursts of light shooting off like fireworks in a cloudless sky.

But it was not just my own.

I saw me, like I was looking at a mirror watching myself come with my mate. I saw the world from her eyes, gentle memories and quiet touches that made her ache for me when we were both too foolish and frightened to recognize. I saw the love between us, like a mist that slithered and wrapped around us, holding us tightly as it had always meant to. I saw a bond, two bright blue and silver lines that twisted together like a well-made rope, connecting her to me and me to her. I saw her faerie-light orgasm, her shooting and sparking ecstasy. And at that very moment, I could see everything in her that she'd never let me before, the true nature of her gift.

I saw the way my Bella's mind worked. She kept everything so tight to her, like a frightened mother clutching her infant close. She protected herself with her talent, guarded her heart and her mind and her body.

It was everything she needed at just the right time. And she could manipulate it.

Bella could be anything she needed to be at any time. Bella's gift was _more_ than a shield. _So _much more.

Bella's gift was everything and everywhere all at once, in any form she needed. It could shield her, and guide her, tell her the future or let her read minds-she only had to let it.

Bella cried out, her body arching. I kissed her then, took her joy and pleasure and swallowed them. And I sobbed, at what we had, and what we may have lost, and what I now knew.

Bella relaxed against me, snuggled into me in utter contentment. My ability to see inside her head was gone for now, but I was still too excited to still. I held her close, closing my eyes and kissing her temple as my body seemed to understand there was so much more between us than it could even hold.

I held her against me, my whole world in this one little, perfect body. She lay against me, unaware. She was so content, and I closed my eyes and soaked this moment in, loving that she was not just every single thing that _I_ needed, but that she was everything that she needed as well. Except for me. I knew she needed me.

We were so much stronger together. We couldn't exist without the other. I was the only one that could have ever found out the truth of her powers.

I was always meant to find her. My lovely chameleon.

"Bella," I whispered into her hair. "I _love_ you, so much... and I know _exactly_ what your gift is."

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**End Notes:**

Thank you so much for reading. You guys and your patience and your sweet words mean the world to me. I do not have an exact time frame for chapter 24, but expect me to go back to posting every 1.5 to 2 weeks.

I hope this chapter answered some of your earlier questions from the beginning of the story.

Bella's talent: We'll get into that more, obviously, but in case I hypnotized you with the yummy loving and the pretty words, here it is: Bella is like a chameleon-that's the best way I know how to describe her. Her gift evolved differently as a human because of how she had to protect herself while E was gone. She only knows how to shield (hense why no one can get to her) right now, but she'll also be able to adapt as she learns how. Like Edward said, she'll be able to project, and read minds, and maybe more...if there is someone who can help her understand the talent. Edward is the only one that could find all this out about her, because he's the only one her body can trust fully...because she is his mate.

Think any of this is going to come in handy? ;) She's still young, though, so that will take time.

Now, we move forward... I think you are going to like this hardened, sexed-up, fiesty Bella. Let's hope she figures some new parlor tricks, huh? Love you all!


	24. Chapter 24: Sorry To Burst Your Bubble

**Author's Note:**

So, _so sorry_. I know it's been ages since my last post, and I am pretty sure that I told you guys we were going back to the regular update schedule. *_Sigh_* Between one temperamental, MIA muse, and the fact that I had to shuffle some chapters, it made me disgruntled. Thank goodness the chapter finally settled itself into place.

Thank you to all of you that have reviewed and favorited and read. Thanks for keeping on this adventure with me. Thanks for your patience when I leave you hanging. Thanks to my sweet husband for putting up with mushy, smexy chapter contents and picking out my chapter name. :)

Anywho, on to the chapter...

**Chapter 24 Playlist Song: Love Song, by 311 (Part 1); Set Fire to the Rain, by Adele (Part 2)**

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 24: So Sorry to Burst Your Bubble**

Bella's lips were turned up softly at the corners, her eyes lazy and almost sleepy, half closed and dreary but still shining. Her hair was fanned out over the pillow and her body was limp and relaxed, humming with the energy that had only moments before sung between us. She'd nearly melted out of my arms on to the mattress.

I ran the back of my fingers up the inside of her calf, over her bent knee and up her thigh, which was lulled to the side. I was waiting for her reaction to everything, to _anything_: to the lovemaking, to our coming back down off the high, to my telling her that I knew her gift, inside and out.

"Bella," I coax-whispered. She finally looked up at me, smiled brilliantly, and reached over to me. I was perched up on my elbow next to her, looking down at her, and I couldn't help the way my heart seemed to pitter-patter at the hungry look in her eyes at her name on my lips. I sighed when she reached around my back, pulled herself close along the length of me, and kissed my peck.

"_Bel_-la," I sung, as if she were a small child, not listening. But she wasn't. She was trying to drag me into her again, pull and tug at me with her wiles. It was working, but I needed her to hear what I was saying.

"Hmmm?" she said against me absentmindedly, as she kissed my neck and my chest and my collarbone.

"Do you know what I just told you?"

"You love me?" she guessed, mumbling and still loving my body. I chuckled as she dove into trying to tempt me again, head first and quite eagerly. Her teeth nipped at my skin and her lips were relentless, and her hands-her hands were meandering, distracting, toying. She was already ready for more, already wanting me and urging me into my own wanting.

"Yes," I told her, gently pulling her away and forcing her to look at me, secretly enjoying how angry she was that I stopped her loving of me. "I love you. So, so much, my lovely, naughty girl. But I _also_ said that I know what your gift is."

I waited, watching her with what I figured was the stupidest grin. It was like Christmas morning, giddiness and barely-contained emotion, a child's excitement of unknown treasures, waiting for her to truly hear me. It only took her a second before the hazy look on her face from our lovemaking faded and her eyes focused. She sat up and perched on her knees. We were both still naked, and I would be lying to say that I didn't watch her, moving before me. I was momentarily distracted by the swell of her breasts, the curve of her hip, her long, strong legs that came together at her...

"_What_? Oh, god, Edward. _What_?"

She pounced on me, covering me with her body, and held me down at my shoulders. She pinned me, her strength so much greater than mine. Her hair created a curtain around us. She was smiling, in wonder and excitement and unbelief. Her eyes were bright and full of life, frantically searching mine for what I'd seen in her mind. I chuckled at the energy, the light in her again, and I was caught up in her excitement so that I felt a little on the weight lift.

"Tell me," she whispered insistently. Her lips were curved and coy.

She let me up and allowed me to sit with her. We were still so close, our bodies angled at each other so that her thighs and her hip were pressed against mine. We were facing opposite ends of the bed, her feet at the pillows, but our chests were close. I could hold her and touch her all I wanted, look at her and feel her and kiss her like this. I was overcome by her nearness, by the very fact that I was hers and she was mine, and I'd just loved her, body and soul and mind. I reached up and brushed my fingers over her ribs and up over the curve of her breast, around her nipple once and then up her neck until I was brushing her cheek and pulling her hair away from her face. She gasped at my touch and her eyes fluttered close. I kissed her, slowly and sensually, and she accepted it, even though I had left her waiting for my words. I had left her teetering at the edge, but it didn't seem to matter.

"You're incredible," I sighed against her lips. "Bella, you are not just a shield. You can do that, but someday you might be able to read minds and see the future and whatever else you want. I don't really understand it, love, but you are capable of having the ultimate power in any form you want."

She had so much potential in her, an unharnessed power that stirred within her. How had I missed all of it, ever? Certainly, it was obvious to me now, like I could see her gift radiating out of her. It was why I couldn't see into her head-she was protecting her mind from me-and why Demetri couldn't track her-she was protecting her whereabouts. All of it was so clear. Her eyebrows knit together in between her eyes as she absorbed this, and she shook her head.

"How is that possible?" she whispered. "I thought Eleazar said I was a shield, that he _saw_ it."

"Eleazar made an assumption because he _couldn't_ see. I'm not sure, but I think that he assumed you as a shield, because at that moment, you _were._ I think that your talent has manifested as a shield because it's so natural to protect yourself. But you have the potential for so much more," I whispered, swept up in her and her gift and the power in her. She was mine. I was hers. "I'm such a lucky, completely blessed and bewildered man."

Her eyes softened and she smiled warmly at me.

"I think you've got that wrong," she said. She leaned forward and kissed me tenderly on the lips, a slow caress that melted and burned all at the same time. "It's so..."

"Much," I finished for her. And it was. Not just her gift, but her and me and this place and this room. And this bed and this bubble that we were now in. But I wasn't afraid anymore that she would run, skittish from me, or that I wouldn't be enough to contain her. It wasn't _too _much, but it was still so overwhelming. So amazingly, scream-from-the-mountain-tops overwhelming.

"How did you know? How did you see?" she asked, laying me down and pressing her cheek and her body and her hands into me.

"You let me," I told her. "I don't know that there is anyone else in the world that could have stumbled along your gifts. You don't think you have to shield yourself from me anymore. You were open, vunerable. You let me have that piece of you, too."

I kissed her nose and she wriggled against me, making me groan and close my eyes.

"I belong with you," she whispered.

"You belong with me," I told her, matter-of-factly.

"I love you," she breathed. "God, I will _never _get sick of telling you that."

"I _hope_ not!"

I couldn't help the jovial laugh that left my lips. And I didn't want to. It was wrong that here, in this place, is where I finally told her that I loved her and that she said those words to me, where we made love for the first time, and where I saw her mind and learned the true nature of the gift. But at the moment, all of the other things fell away. I almost forgot that Bella was still suffering through some guilt, or that Aro wanted us to be his pawns-that we were prisoners. I almost forgot that we were being manipulated, and that our lives were very much in danger.

All that mattered was just this, this giant thing between us, that held us and pressed us together and kept us from falling.

"You are so beautiful," I whispered against her forehead. "Inside and out, whole or broken. But always mine."

Bella was quiet for a bit, and I could tell by the gentle, contemplative look on her face that she was thinking-about me and her and the predicament we were in and using her gift. I just watched her and waited, enjoying watching the things I couldn't hear in her head play out on her face.

"Edward, do you really think I can do these things? Do you really think that is what my power is?"

"I _know_ it," I told her, pressing my forehead against hers.

"And you think my gift might help us," she said softly. "Help us get out of here."

I sighed. It seemed that the world always came back around, always woke us with a fervent shake. I _had_ hoped that, planned on that, but it was an unfair situation. She'd only just learned about her gift, and now we were expecting her to wield it against the ancient vampires that kept us. But she was our greatest hope-our _only_ hope-of ever seeing our family and home again. We'd exhausted all other possibilities. If, for just a moment, she could control her gift in some way-_any _way-we might have a shot. But _what, _and _how, _I didn't know. She reached over and touched my cheek, sensing the war within me. Her smile, the gentle understanding her eyes, grounded me.

"We'll need to play with it, test it, see what you can do with it," I told her. "But keep it quiet so that Aro can't stop you. I don't know what we'll be able to accomplish."

She thought for a minute, then smiled slyly. Her eyebrows rose.

"_Play_, huh?"

She stalked me, her words touching me as deftly as her fingers could. And suddenly, we were swept up in each other again. I was ready for her, and by the feral look in her eyes, where she was watching me knowingly and smiled at me secretively, I could see that she was ready too. She was willing to push all of the heaviness aside for the bond that we, for too, too long, denied.

"Yeah," I told her, sweeping her around in my arms and pinning her to the mattress. I kissed her hard, liking the way she pulled at me, needing me in a heady, ready way. "_Later_."

* * *

It was hot and desperate and different than the first time had been. We were already naked, and she was still sticky and slick from our lovemaking before. I didn't need to pull her clothes off and toss them to the floor, or struggle to get her bare fast enough. She was there and eager and ready. Had I not been a vampire, it would have been too fast. Had I been a human man, perhaps I wouldn't have been able to love her the way I wanted to-I wouldn't have been _so _ready for her again. But I _was_ ready again, and she for me, despite that I'd taken her virginity, and despite that it was still as altering and intense. As we collapsed back on the bed, it was different but no less meaningful.

My second time with Bella was grasping hands and urgent kisses. It was frantic and fast and all about a need so great that we couldn't touch quickly enough, couldn't be joined too much. I had to get at her, and she at me, so that all that mattered was the rapid touching and pawing and tasting and loving. She was too far away, and not close enough. And our pleasure was less blossoming and more exploding, over and over and over again, one after the other like we were falling over each other.

We giggled when our teeth crashed together. My eyes rolled back into my head when she scratched her nails down my back with the fierceness she housed inside herself. I laid her on the bed and covered her with my body, holding her arms above her head against the pillows so that I could feel her breasts bounce against me and so that she was my captive. She wrapped her legs around me to keep me on top of her. There was hardly any words between the grunts and moans and wild passion. It was stimulating and carnal, and more like instinct and animal need.

But it was no less meaningful and spectacular. Especially watching her come apart beneath me, watching her eyes and her mouth and feeling her muscles constrict against me in every sort of delicious way.

Now we were laying, our bodies under the covers. We didn't need the blankets for warmth, but it was nice to be beneath the cool material with her, our legs twisted around the sheets together, feeling the dichotomy of her smooth skin and the textured crisscross of the fabric. I leaned up above her, pressing myself against her, and she reached up with her pinned arm and ran one finger down my lip and over my chin.

"Kiss me," she whisper-begged. And I did, because it was a given, this request that I was too happy to oblige. It was long and lingering, like we were both savoring it, learning the other with our tongues and teeth and tastebuds.

And that was enough for a while, for just a few minutes once our bodies had settled and our lips had stilled, but soon the world fell around us again, settled on the bed and the blankets and our shoulders like ash. We both knew it, that moment where we could no longer exist in the bubble that we'd created with our passion. Outside the door, there were still guards that were making sure we didn't escape. Outside, there was marble and iron and a pit of seeping blood. Outside, somewhere, was Aro. They had heard it all, though it had not been Demetri at watch, something I was thankful of. There was no doubt that they knew about Bella and I, but Demetri hadn't been standing outside the door, listening intently.

I am sure that it was because of Aro that this was the case. Aro knew of Demetri's obsession with Bella, of his desire to take and acquire and abuse, and he didn't indulge him. Aro pitied him, was repulsed by his sick desire to hurt and fuck and take her-to control her with his body because he could not possess her with his mind. She eluded him with her thoughts, and he wanted to capture her with his hands and body and the dangerous thing between his legs. And Aro despised Demetri for it...because Aro believed Bella was _his_ to have and no one else's, in any way.

Aro hated _me_ for what we'd just done, I was sure, but I was thankful for this one small thing that he had done by keeping Demetri away from our chambers.

It was something, about the only thing Aro had allowed us.

But this would anger him, I thought, like nothing else had yet. He had expected us to be divided.

"This won't go over well," I told her. She nodded and breathed deeply, accepting it all like the warrior she was.

"I don't know what I need to do," she said softly. Her voice was a little forlorn, but it was not what it had been when she was suffering from guilt, or when she was thinking of ending her

life. She was at a loss, a runner who had no idea where her greatest race started.

"I know," I told her, kissing her forehead. "But we'll figure it out together."

We rose to dress then, an act that felt like sacrilege. I said as much and she laughed, and the sound shot straight through me, piercing my heart and landing so much lower, and I suddenly craved so much more again. It was dizzying, this spinning desire that I had for her, that swept me in like a tidal wave and forced me to want her so badly. All-consuming, delirious lust clouded me, made me flip from responsibility to tossing all our clothes away and being naked until Armageddon. I forgot that we were in peril, that we had work to do. I had to fight to not rip the clothes out of her hands and take her again. I watched her unabashedly, loving the soft curves of her, the strength in her shoulders and the way that her back arched and sloped with long grace to the curve of her bottom. She had beautiful legs, strong and toned and long. I stilled from pulling my shirt over my head and watched her slide her panties up her legs, bending gracefully and giving me and alluring view of her from the back. She wiggled them up in to place, and in an instant I was behind her, my clothing forgotten, pushing the hair off her shoulder and kissing the soft place between her chin and her shoulder. It was as if my body was my commander, my head swirled with my need for her, to the point that our conversation had all but been forgotten.

She closed her eyes and leaned into me and her mouth dropped open with a soft little gasp. Her arms snaked up around my neck, allowing me full access. I was so overwhelmed by her, by her touch, by the feel of her in my arms, open and eager.

I wrapped one arm around her waist, holding her tightly to me. My other hand found her breasts, brushing over her lightly until she moaned low in her throat. It was a cruel, satisfying tease. I wanted her to fall apart in my arms again, shatter like crystal, a feeling more intense than my own orgasms. Her hands left my neck and shadowed mine over her body.

I touched her, my most perfect treasure, all flawless skin and soft woman. She gasped and breathed as my fingertips danced over her-down the center of her, over her belly and the tops of her thighs, feather-light touches that ghosted over her skin until I found her hot and wet again beneath her panties.

I would never tire of my name falling from her lips with breathless need, or the feel of her body, vibrating beneath me. I wanted her as if I'd never had her before, when we'd only just finished. Twice.

And I could have stayed that way-forever, if she'd let me. I could have made my home inside her, buried deep within her, surrounded by everything that was Bella, breathing her and living nothing but her.

But my mind-my mercurial mind that couldn't seem to focus-suddenly remembered where we were and what we were doing, and that as alone as we wished we were, we _weren't_. We were in this place surrounded by evil, and if I wanted her forever, we needed to find a way out of this pit. _I _needed to focus. I chastised myself for tempting her, for forgetting any semblance of order, for teasing and testing her when we didn't have the luxury to pleasure each other any longer.

But it was, as always, _her _choice. It would have to be.

"You're so perfect," I mumbled against her neck. "and if you _want, _I can slide these down."

I let my hands drift slowly down her body, slipped my index fingers in the waistband of her panties and gently stroked the taut skin against her hip bones. She whimpered.

"I could make love to you until the end of days," I whispered in her ear. "Touch you. Taste you. Take you, and I would love every second of it. But I don't want to spend my last moments on this earth with you _here_."

She sighed a long, low breath, and her head lulled forward as her shoulders sagged. She turned in my arms. I smiled down at the disgruntled expression on her face. I felt it too, this feeling that we'd been denied.

"Sorry," I chuckled, kissing the furrow in her brow. She leaned into me, rested her forehead against my lips as if I were holding her up like that.

"You're mean," she sighed.

"You're beautiful," I said, kissing her lips. "And mine. And when you and I are home, we won't surface for _weeks_."

We both dressed quietly, facing the opposite directions. I found it necessary, averting my eyes, because it was the only way that I could focus enough to pull on my own pants or put on my shirt. I could smell her, the evidence of our sex in the air still, and I could feel her, so near, but it helped not to _see _her, looking so delicious. When I was sure she was clothed, I turned. Despite the fact that the world was crumbling around us, I couldn't help smiling at her. She was soft, and serene, and her hair was knotted and rumpled. She came up to me and slid her hands up my chest, and I just held her, wrapping her up in my arms and rocking her from side to side. There was nothing sexual about it, only comforting and grounding.

She was so much more than my sexual partner. I knew that now, saw what I'd been to foolish to see all along.

We made the bed, and we sat down on it and faced one another. Bella crossed her legs in front of her, and placed her palms on her knees. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, and without my asking, she tried to ground herself and find her gift. I watched her, willing something utterly magnificent.

I'd seen it, buried deep within her. It was there, like a little flicker of candle light inside of her, a spark that could start a forest fire if she let it. She had so much potential but it was tangled and hidden, as if years of unuse had made it overgrown and confined and patinated. And I knew, as strong and gifted as she was, she would be able to do everything I thought she could, reach the very boundaries of what was possible. She only had to figure out how.

But if I was being completely honest, I had really no idea how to help her do it. I had seen what her gift was and how very far she might be able to stretch it, but I didn't know the first thing about helping her do it. And perhaps, just a small piece of me had lied to her about how far I'd be able to take her. Perhaps I'd stretched the truth, telling her that we could figure it all out together. I couldn't even see into her mind consistently.

I had to trust she'd find the strength and focus inside herself to manipulate her gift.

And she needed to, because we were getting too close to the edge.

"You really think this is possible?" she said. I could hear the excitement in her voice, the way it rose at the end just a little in a musical lilt. "You think that I might be able to help get us out of here?"

I was counting on it, unfortunately. I was placing all my trust in this, all my hope. It was unfair of me, to ask this of her and put all of this on her tiny shoulders and expect her to stand through it all. But we had run out of other options. _I _certainly wasn't helpful in all of this. My usefulness had run its course.

Soon-too, too soon-Aro would realize that too. If he hadn't already.

I hesitated, not sure what it would do to her to know what I was thinking. I determined that if she was to succeed, she'd have to know what was really at stake.

"Bella," I said, still unsure if I was doing the right thing, "I think that you _are_ our way out of here. I do. And I have faith in you. I don't want to put pressure on you."

Her eyebrows rose.

"But..." she encouraged, knowing that there was more to this, more that I needed to tell her, and that it wouldn't necessarily be good.

I hesitated again.

"But, we are running out of time."

She laughed unhumorously and rolled her eyes.

"Edward, there is nothing more he can do that will make me join him. I will _never_ join the guard."

I reached over and took her hand, stroking the top of her knuckles with my thumb. I was so proud of her in this moment, so proud of the fact that she never considered Aro's requests, even because of me. She was stronger than I would be. I turned her hand over and kissed her palm, and pressed it against my cheek and closed my eyes, just feeling her fingers against my jaw. I wanted her to stay this way always, no matter what: sure, grounded, powerful in her goodness...even if I wasn't with her to see it. Because, even if Bella learned how to utilize the power inside her, or was able to fight back somehow, there was no guarantee that she could shield _me_. The most important thing for me was to have her survive.

_She had to survive_.

"I know," I whispered, bringing her fingers to my lips. "Promise me that will never change. Promise me you will never stop trying."

I opened my eyes to see her brow furrowed, her eyes watching me with calculation. It broke me a little.

"Why are you saying this to me?" she said, and her voice broke, just a bit. "Why are you telling me this, like you aren't going to be around to see it. Shouldn't you be _happy_, Edward, knowing I can do so much more than we thought?"

I hadn't meant for it to turn this way, for our intended practicing of her talent to become morose, but I knew that it was make it or break it time. I knew that the whole castle knew of our lovemaking, of our connection. I knew that Aro would no longer expect us to turn on one another, that we were as bound as two mates could be. Aro would no longer expect me to bring her down-he would be looking at other ways to bring her down.

And he would use me as leverage. Again.

But this time, she might not be able to stop him.

"Bella," I said slowly, "I don't want you to lose focus, and I know you can do everything Ive seen. You _can._ But we have to be prepared for the fact that Aro will no longer hesitate to take every step to get you."

I could tell she was still confused.

"Bella," I said, "Aro will try and read me now. And when he _does_, I can't hide _anything._"

It took her only a moment. She sat still for just a second before her eyes widened and her mouth fell open in a soft gasp.

"Oh, Edward," she sighed.

And I knew she understood what I was saying, at least enough that she understood how little time we had left. Aro would read me to get to her, and he would see it all: that we were connected, that I could see her in a way that no one else could because of that, and that I _had_ seen her that way. He would know about the wolves, about our past, and about what she was potentially capable of. And he would likely know better than me how to tap into all of that, to break her.

Aro would see all of her and render me completely useless. And to get to her, Aro might very well dispose of me.

As I'd always known, I would be Bella's breaking point. Aro would no longer torture me, because if I was gone, Bella wouldn't have anything left. And I was no longer necessarily.

Aro would have everything he needed in Bella.

She was on the edge. I pulled her into my arms and she held on tightly. I was sorry I had turned our earlier loving into this, this pain and worry she was now experiencing. She let me hold her for a while, but then she pulled away.

He eyes were blazing, full of determination.

"I am _not_ going to let him into your head," she said. "Let's do this."

I was thankful in that moment, to whomever was guiding the universe, that she'd been given to me and only me. How had I gotten so lucky to have her as mine? Who had deemed me fit enough to pair me with her? She was certainly greater than me, my better half, and superior in so many ways.

"Bella, there's no guarantee that-" I started, but she interrupted me.

"You said that I have whatever gift I need, when I need it. Well, I _need_ to protect you. I _need_ to keep you safe from him, to keep your mind safe from his. Because if it's a matter of survival, Edward, I need_ you_. More than blood. More than anything."

She was so sure, so brave and grounded and miraculous, that I smiled at her again, a love-struck teenager like I'd never been before.

"I love you," I told her. No truer words had ever left my lips. How had I let it go so long without saying it to her?

"So, let's do this," she repeated.

It was hard not to agree with her, to get swept up in her. To get washed away and drowned in her.

"Your talent is wide-reaching," I told her, and she listened intently with her eyes closed and a furious look on her face. "And I _think_ that you can manipulate it when you need it. You are intuitively able to block me and everyone else, so you don't have to think about it. What does it feel like when you do other things."

"I don't know," she said. "It sort of just happens. Like I'm willing it, this energy that I feel."

"Okay, so you will it. Try focusing on something specific," I told her. "Try reading my mind."

She closed her eyes. There was a stillness in her, a still-hopeful calm that she was focusing through herself. And I waited, I waited for her to tell me that I was thinking of the scarlet of her eyes and the memories of our lovemaking, and how badly I wanted to repeat it all in the meadow, under the clear Washington midnight, or in the sunlight where every inch of her would glitter. But seconds ticked by, and her face changed slowly, from soft and concentrated, to frustrated, to angry and saddened and full of doubt.

Her eyes opened, and I knew that focusing in that way had not allowed her to see inside my head. I tried to keep my face unchanged and unaffected. Inside, a piece of me broke and fell away, as if it would have been so easy.

"Don't worry," I whispered. "We'll try again."

And we did, over and over. We tried. _She _tried, with everything she had, to the point of impossible exhaustion. In every way I could think to teach her, we tried to hone her gift. And it wasn't just reading minds-it was her physical shield that she'd used when the wolves were upon us, and the way she contained me, and predicting the future and feeling my emotions. And most of all, it was pulling me into her, surrounding me with her talent and enclosing me so that I was as protected as she was.

Because that would be the key, I thought, to getting out from Aro's clutches. She'd _have_ to shield me.

But none of it worked, no matter what we tried. There was maybe a flicker, the feeling of safe and happy and whole, surrounding me. But that could have been my own hope, holding out for one last moment, or my desire for her gift to work. Like the ringing of ones ears, or the tingle up their spine, perhaps I was tricking myself into feeling her gift. I wanted it so badly-for her, for me, for our future.

I could hear the vampires outside the door, their pedestrian thoughts, their sick distractions with Bella and me. There wasn't a moment when their thoughts went away. I was hoping, if she could pull me in, that I might not hear them the same way, but their thoughts were still clear in my mind. Demetri came and went from his perch beside the massive iron door, and still I could hear from his own thoughts that he was waiting and wondering, hoping that we'd get naked and that he'd be able to listen in with sick satsifacton. He could track me-his ability never left me, no matter how hard Bella tried to make it so.

Over and over, she closed her eyes and searched herself. She sat still and quiet. She paced and pulled at her hair. She scrunched up her eyes and focused all her energy from within herself, willing something..._anything_. She stomped her foot and breathed through her nose. And when all my encouragement wasn't enough, she sank down the side of the bed and put her head in her hands in frustration.

I slid down beside her and pulled her into my arms as she cried angry, frustrated sobs into her hands. And suddenly, I was traveling back days, when she was so far away from me, stumbling and still not quite mine. I kissed her hair and she let me love her, hold her, protect her from herself. After a while, I lifted her in my arms and put her on the bed. She stilled and looked up at me, stroking down my cheek.

"Why can't I do it?" she asked. She was disappointed and afraid and sorry.

I smiled down at her, because I was still so proud of her-still so sure that this was everything, that she was everything to me-and because I didn't want her to see the fear in me, the desperation in my eyes.

"Bella, you're not infallible," I told her gently. "You're a newborn, and we've only just realized that multiple abilities could be possible. I know your frightened, love, but I think you are asking too much of yourself. _I'm_ asking too much of you. I'm sorry for that."

She watched me for a long while. Her eyes roamed my face, searching me, or memorizing me, or simply savoring the moment. I was doing the same, and when our eyes would meet, each time there would be something surprising lingering there: wonder, love, faith, fear.

She'd learned so much about herself in the last few days. She was a woman, a glorious woman, and she was capable of failure. She could fall, and then she could soar, and she could do it over and over again like a bird with a broken wing. She was sexy and intelligent, but still a little lost, and that was okay. And most importantly, she was a survivor.

"Marry me," she whispered. It was a little like a question, like a sort-of proposal, but not really, because there was no wonder in the two words. She didn't _ask,_ because there is no point in _asking _something when you already know what the answer would be.

It wasn't what it was supposed to be, of course. It was supposed to be _me_, down on one knee, a sparking rock in my hand, or on a plush pillow, or in a glass of champagne. We were supposed to be smiling and she was supposed to throw herself in my arms so I could spin her and hear her laughter or dry her tears. But then, we didn't drink champagne, and she couldn't shed tears.

It was sadder than it should have been, as if it was an ending, rather than a happy beginning. But still, there was no real question in it.

Only honest reality.

"You want to marry me," I said. There was no real question there, either, though her words _had_ caught me off guard.

"Yes. I used to believe that marriage was a waste, that it meant nothing but a piece of paper. It can be dissolved, and forgotten, and broken, and even if two people _thought_ that it was the right thing once, that it can change and suddenly it was never right at all," she said. "I didn't think it was worth it to say the words, if you didn't really believe them in the first place."

She stroked her nose down mine, and I pulled her closer.

"But?"

"But," she continued, "now, I know it's not possible for me to _be_ without you. I'm not afraid of loving you, of saying those words, of promising all those things, because it's impossible for me to ever be without you. I know I'll never be lying, it will never change, the way I feel about you, because it's who I am. A part of me. I can't _not_ be with you, for the rest of my life. And I want to be yours in every sense: your lover, your friend, _and_ your wife."

My heart beat, just a little. I breathed in air, just a minuscule amount, because my lungs needed it, just for a moment. And for a second in time, I was living and breathing and perfectly at peace, everything I needed for survival right there in my arms.

I reached over and fingered the long drapery on the bed. The smooth material felt soft in my hand, but fragile. Easily, I tore a piece of it away, a long thin strand of satiny crimson, the same color as Bella's eyes. She watched me carefully as I looped it between my fingers and twisted it so that it made an imperfect, loose oval. I brought her left hand to my lips and kissed each pad of her fingertips, her knuckles, and then her palm. I kissed the back of her fingers, closing my eyes and savoring this moment. And then I kissed the ring finger there. When I opened my eyes, I slipped the red fabric loop around that finger, twirling it around a few more times and tying it off.

"I will love you and protect you and cherish you for all the days that I have left on this earth," I told her. "and when we get home, I will put a real ring there. When we get _home_. I promise."

She wrapped me in her arms, shielding me-not with her gift, but with her love. I could feel this power in her, radiating out of her.

She was afraid, and desolate, and desperate. But now we both had something that much more to live for. To survive for.

Me and my fragile, silent survivor.

For a long time, I just lay there in her arms, her wrapped up all around me, savoring these moments, because we didn't know if they would be our last. But we were stronger that way, more solidified than a thousand armies. I had to believe that was enough. Because there was nothing else than that.

"When we get home," I finally said, "You know Alice will be all over planning this wedding. You should be afraid of that more than anything."

She laughed, something I didn't know she was capable of still.

"I am," she sighed. "It doesn't matter. It's worth the torture."

Her words were not lost on me.

We returned to stillness, to quiet fear and solemn joy, both of us in our own heads, separate but still the same. There was so much there, so much gone, so much left to be found.

"Oh, and Edward?" she said softly. I looked up into her eyes, all glassy and full of something unknown. "I _won't_ let him into your mind."

* * *

"You reek of each other!" Aro hissed. He chuckled angrily, as if he suddenly realized how absurd this all was. In a moment of clarity, Aro realized what a fool he'd been all along not to see it, to have deluded himself into thinking that these childish games would work on her.

We were back before him, and Aro was not pleased. It was as I had predicted: Aro knew of our connection, of our lovemaking, of our bond. Like me, he'd realized that Bella was, in fact, bound to me by a force that he could not see. Marcus did not see her bond to me because it was invisible, and twisted securely around mine. Chelsea could not break the bond with me or manipulate Bella away from me, not because one didn't exist, but because hers was so tightly twined with mine that it could never be severed, like it was soldered to mine irrevocably.

And Aro knew, that if he didn't separate us physically, he'd never have her.

So that is where we stood, in the grand, gloroius turret of the Volturi, surrounded by Aro and his minions, with Marcus, and Caius and those whom I had never seen before, with this audience that Aro had called together to witness this.

_My demise_.

This was my execution day.

The excitement was palpable. Jane was licking her lips and Caius was rubbing his hands. Demetri was both on edge and full of energy, his body vibrating with the knowledge that Bella knew of carnal pleasure and that I would no longer be around to offer it to her. Marcus was anxious and regretful and still so resigned, unwilling to step between Aro and his intended results. The wives swayed like willow trees in the wind, lulled from the viciousness in the room. And the no-names, those that were there as witnesses, waited and wondered and feared and hummed, called upon vampires who could tell the world about what was to happen there that day.

This was my trial, my judgement, all in one.

The proceedings were set. Aro would read my mind. He _hoped _I would put up a fight. He _hoped_ I would say something that would give evidence to my treason. He _hoped_ when he read my mind, they would all believe him when he said I was guilty of the most heinous of vampire crimes.

And like the witch trials, that would be evidence enough to all those in attendance that I deserved my own death, that I'd practically _begged_ for it. Thats what the witnesses would hear, anyway. And that's what they'd tell everyone else that asked.

And then Bella would be free. Who better than Aro to nurture her loss, and protect her from it ever happening again?

Aro _really_ didn't know my Bella.

Aro laughed at my mind reading.

"I am _so_ clever, aren't I," he said. "You know, I _never_ imagined it would be this tortuous, young Edward. I never imagined it would be so _grueling_. But then, our Bella has continued to surprise me."

"You have underestimated her, Aro," I said. "She won't join you. You and your regime are not what she's destined for."

For just a moment, I was in Aro's mind, transported back with him to a time long ago, when Aro was a young vampire. He'd seen this kind of devotion before, felt the sincerity of a bond like ours. And it frightened him again, this idea that love could be stronger than _him._

_Didyme,_ his mind echoed_. _I stilled and listened more closely than I ever had before. It was a startling revelation to see that Bella and I had not been the first that he'd tried to break of love. But then, his previous attempt had been so much easier on him. He'd destroyed his own beloved sister to keep Marcus loyal to him. Of _course_ he'd easily do the same to Bella and I. Nothing was more important to Aro than his power.

_"Didyme?" _I repeated, knowing what this would mean to say it out loud. This was _Aro's_ secret, the one that he had keep hidden and tucked away for so long it felt almost like a dream. His sister's name echoed around the marble curved walls, and reached everyone's ears.

Marcus leaned forward at the sound of his lover's name. In an instant, he was broken by the memories, nearly crippled by them. He was reliving that time too, when he had loved and lost and suffered. He'd allowed the numbness that Corin offered, because then, he'd thought there was no other choice, because he was too weak. And now, the sound of her name, strung letters that he'd not heard in lifetimes, was crushing him again.

I looked over at him, taking the opportunity to hurt Aro.

"This is the same," I whispered. Marcus' eyes were so clear, so focused, as I'd not seen them before. His chin fell, and he rose a little higher, as if getting closer to me would make it that much more clear to him. His mind was already questioning it, the reason why Aro was thinking of his murdered sister and Marcus' lost love, and how all the pieces could possibly fit together. And then they _did._

Aro's rage was so great, his throne cracked as he stood. He rushed at me, got so close I could see the layers of his filmy skin, smell the scent of death that permitted his hide and hair and clothes. Bella tensed beside me, because she knew that this was it, that this was the moment that we'd worried and wondered over and practiced for. Her hand gripped at mine as Aro hovered, the temperature rising all around him.

"You are an idiot!" he screamed. "You continue this worthless pursuit, for what!? For _love_!? For your _death_! And once you are gone, I will take her and break her, in every way possible!"

He looked over at Demetri, and I knew what he would go so far as to allow. I knew how far he would truly go to hurt her, to break her spirit, if she proved to need more breaking. It sickened me, but I trusted that Bella would stay strong. She was so much more capable than that. And I prayed, for what was likely only the second time in my life.

_Please protect her when I cannot. Please watch her and keep her strong._

I looked into Aro's eyes and smiled, a strangely dark and sinister feeling permeating me. I hated this man- this _thing _that was no longer man- and if he destroyed me, I knew that she would destroy him. He would fall to her. It would give me pleasure to watch him suffer at _her _hands.

Aro reached out his hand. It hovered in the air between us as if we were moving in slow motion, as if we we suspended in this moment. Slowly, slowly, his fingers got nearer, and I knew that soon, none of the secrecy, none of the clever tricks we'd played would matter. Soon, in less than a moment of human time, Aro would have all the ammunition to destroy us. He'd have Bella's power, he'd have the wolves, he'd have my desperate love and my fears and my weaknesses.

I braced myself. I readied. I looked back an the one thing that had redeemed me and broke me and surfaced me again. She watched me and shook her head and bit her lip while I mouthed to her that I loved her.

His hand was cold and clammy and felt like paper that had soaked and dried and turned brittle in the sunlight. His grip was tight and affirmative and sure.

But it slackened minutely...

When he realized that _my_ mind was black as night and empty to him like a cavernous hole.

Like Bella's.

A smile crept up on my face slowly, as each second passed. He let go and grasped again, squeezing tightly to the point that it could have hurt. He shook my hand with the rage in him. His mouth gaped and snarled into his anger. I could feel the way his fury boiled in him as he continued to release and grab at my hand over and over, so bewildered and unaware and angry.

Bella's eyes were closed tightly, and she was concentrating very hard. I could see how desperately she was focused on keeping Aro out of my head. She was focusing her energy into her power, a power that until now she hadn't really truly grasped. It seemed that I had truly been correct in my understanding of Bella's talent. It was there to protect her, and it would work for her when she really _needed_ it-what she needed, _when_ she needed it.

And maybe not really any other time.

Her body was shaking with the strength that she was channeling, her little hands balled into fists at her sides.

And I could feel it, this thing she was doing. It was like being wrapped in a warm blanket, like being sheltered from a rainstorm, like being coiled in someone's arms and guarded and shielded by someone stronger and larger than yourself. I could feel it as tangibly as if it was made of metal or cotton or flesh.

Aro looked between us, his eyes narrowing.

"What is this?" he hissed through his teeth, low and threatening.

"You know what it is," I told him. I walked over to Bella and slipped my fingers down over her arm and then her wrist and then through her fingers. I felt the little red loop around her finger. Her eyes were still closed and she startled at my touch, but only for a moment. She kept her eyes closed and focused, breathing a steady rhythm in and out to ground herself. The shield didn't budge. "You know. So Let. It. Go."

He roared, and Bella's eyes popped open. She grasped my hand tightly for a moment and I felt her shield slip off from around me like a silk cloth. The memory of it still lingered on my mind, on my skin, but it was gone now. We were vulnerable.

"This game is done. I don't care of your value. I will end you," he said to me. Aro was done with all of this: the daily back and forth, the banter, the hardly-polite conversation. None of it mattered to him anymore. He didn't care that I could read minds, or that I was his way to bring Bella to him. He was weary and ready for it all to end, for me to quiver and quake at the hands of his guards. He wanted my to fear for my life and fear for Bella and fear for the vampires we left behind. He wanted my last vision to be watching Bella watch me die. He signaled into the air, a silent exchange that let his guard know that he was allowing them what they'd all craved since we arrived.

The room all moved at once, a still and silent portrait, coming alive and leaping to action that they'd long denied themselves. Bella gasped softly beside me and squeezed my hand tightly, so tightly as if to keep me to her. Felix, Santiago, and Demetri moved toward us, sneers and acceptance and hatred on their faces like masks that they'd slipped on. Marcus rose and Caius clapped and reclined. Renata shielded Aro and the wives purred as Corin covered them with h talent. Jane stood on her tiptoes and Alec crossed his arms and Heidi sighed at the loss of my life.

And Aro clenched his hands in front of him and smiled, a victory so close.

I pushed Bella back and away from me as I crouched to an attack position, but she held fast to my hand, tethering to me with newborn strength that I didn't possess. I tried to remove her, get her away from me. I couldn't let her get caught in the crossfire. I'd promised her that day that I'd love her forever, and that I would take care of her, and that I'd marry her. I hadn't intended to lie to her. I hadn't intended to tell her untruths, but I had intended to _not_ tell her the whole truth: that I wouldn't let her go before me, that I would see her face last of all the things I did in this world, and that when we were at the end, I would put myself in the way of danger.

I hadn't actually expected it to come so quickly.

I looked back at her to tell her how much I loved her, how much I'd never anticipated her but was grateful for her, that she made my feeble life worth living, even like this, but she was not looking at me.

That she _was _my lover, my best friend, and my wife, even though we'd not made it official.

What I saw terrified me more than my end.

Bella's eyes were wide and wild, black as pitch and bottomless, her whole iris like a vortex. She was trembling, focused on a spot too far off in the distance, I worried that she was gone again, to the place where she wandered, full of dead and snarled trees, mud and death and shadows of her own self-that she was retreating because she knew I would die, here and at her feet. She held my hand so tightly it was crushing me, and she didn't relax when I said her name. And then she let go of me, closed her frightening dark eyes, tilted her face to the top of the turret, and put her hands out in front of her, her palms open and exposed.

One moment.

Two.

It was bright, so bright it lit the room up, white and hot and like it was full of nothing but light-no air, no bodies, nothing but white, unbearable light. Like the flash had swallowed all of the mass in it, and consumed it, a greedy hungry thing. I shielded my eyes with the crook of my arm, because it hurt to look at it, this whiteness that surrounded me and clouded everything that had existed.

I thought, for just a moment, I was somewhere else entirely.

There wasn't any noise, no thoughts that I could grasp on to. It stayed that way for nearly three seconds, void like the surface of the sun but not burning, to bright for even a vampire to see. And then it subsided, like a lightning flash, sweeping and strong, pulled back in to it's source... to the little vampire whose eyes were softening and whose body was relaxing beside me.

There was calm, stillness that felt almost serene.

All around us, bodies were strewn, lying prone and disoriented. They were all alive, but like exhaustion had succumbed them, or like the wind had blown them over, they were struggling to get up, to understand what had happened. Only Bella and I still stood, in the center of the recess, the grate below us. Aro was on the steps, his face to the ceiling, and he groaned as if he were as old as he truly was. I could hear his thoughts, all of their thoughts, again. They were stopped, pressed, flipped. Bella had stopped them. Floored them.

I'd seen this before, though not like this. There had been no light, no frightening Bella, but once, when the wolves were running at us, this had happened too. Then, Bella had propelled the others back, like they had bumped into a wall and were tossed. Only now it was so much more, so much more driven.

She'd constructed a shield, one that protected her and me. And she'd bounced them all away from it, knocked them down and laid them out as if they were nothing more than rag dolls, cast aside by a willful child all done with her play. Like her force had simply blown them over, Bella had protected me, herself, our future.

Soon they would get up. They were alive, unhurt, regaining semblance, finding themselves after what I could only define as magic. _Bella._ Soon, it would be like none of it had happened. I grasped Bella's hand and tugged. She was still, hands still raised, and looking around us in bewilderment.

He eyes met mine, clear and ready and willing. And in that look, I knew that we were given the opportunity we'd been waiting for. It might be the only one, ever.

"_Run_," I whispered.

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**End Notes: **

Yay! They are _running_! And Aro's been knocked on his ass.

I'd love to hear your thoughts, hypotheses, ect. if you are so inclined.

No promises about the next update, because I apparently suck at keeping virtual promises, but I'll try not to make you wait too long. Leaving you on the edge of your seat, and all. There are already words set to pages. :)

About 6 chapters left!

Thanks again for reading. You guys really make it all worthwhile.


	25. Chapter 25: Run Run As Fast As You Can

**Author's Note:**

Hi all! I am thoroughly convinced at this point that I live in some other dimensional time warp where time flies about a thousand times faster than it should. Sigh.

Anyway, sorry that I made you wait. Again. Thanks for the encouragement to those who sent me messages, and don't worry! I'm finishing the story! It's well on the way. Only 5 chapters left, including the epi. I'm so excited!

My hope is to be done with the story (and posted) by the time the last installment of the movies is out, so I am thinking you won't have to wait to long. So far, I'm on track. :)

**Recap: **Bella and Edward finally made love. Edward was allowed a quick peek at Bella's talent, and tried to help her control it. No such luck, this erratic gift she has is a _pain_. Aro planned to kill Edward to take him out of Bella's equation, and Edward got a glimpse into Aro's long-buried memories to see how he killed Didyme to keep Marcus. Bella's powers struck just when she needed them, knocking the Volturi on their asses. Woohoo. And Edward said "_run_."

A note on Marcus, because some people were confused: Marcus didn't _know_ from what Edward said that Aro killed Didyme. But he _did know_ that Aro planned to kill Edward to keep Bella, and he didn't have all the details about his lover's death. So, Edward planted the seed of doubt, and allowed Marcus to realize that there was more to the story- sacrifice one to keep the other. There is definitely more to it.

**Chapter 25 Playlist Song: _Viva la Vida, _Coldplay**

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 25: Run, Run As Fast As You Can, You Can't Catch Me, I'm a Warred and Wounded Man**

_Th'rump-th'rump_. _Th'rump-th'rump_.

Pounding, the incessant, steady rhythm of feet on ground. Too, too fast for the human ear. Too, too quiet to cause them concern.

My mind was racing as quickly as my feet. The plan had not been fully thought out, I realized, as Bella and I wound our way through the aged castle and then the long sewer system beneath the city, and now, as we were racing to exit the way we'd come in so long ago. It wasn't wise, I realized, fleeing without a plan this way.

A smart man would have waited, bided his time, not acted on impulses and magic and hope and foolishness. A smart man would have sat down and poured over a map, discussed the options, and made sure that the one person who truly mattered most to him would have a sure-fire way of making it out alive. But I was not a smart man-I was a battered and broken man-so I leapt at the opportunity as it presented itself, and now I was trying desperately to figure out what to do next. One foot, then the other.

Bella was beside me, stride for stride. She hadn't spoken, hadn't asked questions. She didn't hesitate when I changed directions, moving about the sewers with only my vampiric sense of direction, and the memories of coming through. I assumed that she knew what had happened back in the turret-that it was _her_ who had ultimately freed us-though she likely didn't understand it at all. _I_ didn't understand it, but I knew what it was. It was Bella, through and through. Just Bella.

It was daylight outside, late in the afternoon. Every now and then we would pass like a flash under a city grate and Bella would send a wayward beam of light off her skin, bouncing for a blink before it would dissipate. I was listening-for footfalls behind us, for human thoughts about sparkling grates, for Bella's growl as she leapt up and out at a human out of thirst.

But it didn't come. There were no following guards yet. We were moving too quickly for humans to really notice anything, or for me to get a relevant lock on any of their thoughts. And Bella was to busy concentrating on moving and listening and _something_ else to feel the burn in her throat. At least, that is what I hoped for, that she was not suffering. Like a whisper, we passed below their feet.

We emerged from the tunnel which we'd only just entered nine days before. It felt like it had been years. Dark blackness made way to dusty light, and we both breathed in and out as I pushed the iron gate open at the tunnels entrance. I grabbed Bella's hand, listening to the puff of air as it left her, wondering if she hadn't breathed at all since we'd gone in the dark and desolate tunnel that led to the turret. That would have explained some of her control.

Though fear can make anything possible.

The tiny church on the outskirts of Volterra was cool, almost as cool as the tunnel had been, the air clouded with dust particles that drifted through the sunlight as it sneaked in through slatted and shattered windows. There was no one there, but I hadn't assumed there would be. It was eerily empty, as it had been when we'd arrived, a ghost of what it had once been. Priests had long ago forfeited their pledges to this sanctuary, and it's only parishioners were both dead and back under the turret.

"We're out," she said softly, unbelievably. Maybe, like me, she never thought it would actually happen. Maybe, like me, she was counting every step as if it were our last. I was waiting to be ambushed, assaulted. Stopped.

"Come on," I said, tugging at her just a little. We couldn't move quickly enough. There would never be enough time, no matter how fast we ran, no matter how many steps we took.

We emerged into the courtyard, all overgrown, twisted and green, dancing with shadows along the ivy walls. I was met with a surprising image in my mind, one that haunted me and teased me and tormented me with how unabashedly inconvenient it was at the moment. I saw a vision of Bella there, like a shimmering ghost, covered in a long white gown and a braid of ivy and daisies twisted like a crown through her hair. It would have been a pretty place to marry her, a place that, before now could have been enchanting. As It stood now, it was the mouth to the belly of hell and it's vines and serenity were lost to me.

How many other things had we lost along the way?

We crossed the air field. Aro's plane stood, poised and ready for its next takeoff. I'd pondered this, the idea of commandeering it. It would have been fast, so much quicker than Aro could have run or sent someome after us, or even chartered another jet. Aro's money and influence and control was so far reaching, but with the craft, we could have outrun him. We could have avoided humans. Aro likely would follow, but I knew he _himself _wouldn't try to track us on foot. Too pedestrian for the ancient vampire. Taking his plane would slow him, surely.

But I didn't have an approved flight plan, and the plane was not inconspicuous. It was big, and gaudy, not like a small jet would be. There was airspace to consider, too many eyes on us, an aircraft in unauthorized territory, too many questions and not nearly enough logical answers- not to mention an ability to track us that left me on edge, though I knew he had Demetri anyway.

Though the plane would get us away fast, it wasn't our ticket out of here. But it wasn't going to be Aro's either.

"Can you fly it?" Bella asked. We were standing beside the plane now, shrouded by the long silhouette on the grassy strip. I was wasting too much time, deciding what to do. There was so much more than myself to consider. I looked down at her, watched her for what was less than a moment in time, less than a second for us, but still enough.

Her clothes were dirty and a little worn, but her face was clear, her eyes shining from the run and the fear and the excitement of escaping. There was determination there, and wonder, that I might be able to fly a plane, a feat which she never imagined or tried to comprehend before, perhaps. But there was also trust, pure and unadulterated trust in me. Trust that this path I was leading her on was the right one, and she was all in no matter where or how I took her.

If I was alone, I would go on foot, lead Aro away from Carlisle, and Esme, and Forks. I would take him to the furthest ends of the earth, and I would outrun him, because I would do what ever it took to keep all of them safe. I would do it forever if its what it took, spend my days apart, just to protect what was left. I would keep them away from her, if she was with them. I would not let them anticipate any of my next moves. And for a moment, I considered sending her home, sending her back without me, so that Demetri and Aro and everyone who wanted Bella would follow _me _far away from her. But it hurt me too much to think of never seeing her again, and I knew that I wasn't strong enough for that. I _should have been, _but I wasn't. I breathed in the air around us, letting my body take it all in.

"Of course," I scoffed, causing her lips to quirk with amusement.

"That's sexy," she said. I never thought I might see her eyes dance with such mischief again.

"I'll fly you anywhere you want to go," I told her. "Later. But I think that _this_ plane would serve us better firmly rooted on the ground."

Shaking my head in amazement of her, I pulled out my phone and turned it on, willing the screen to load. Bars. Finally.

I pressed and held the "5" button. It rang for only a moment, a single bling, before the line clicked and connected.

"Edward," Rose said through the speaker. "What the _hell_?"

Her words were harsh, but the tone of her voice told me all the things she would never say out loud to me: _we've been so worried, you haven't called, when will you be back? Hurry. _I smiled at the sound of my sisters voice. I'd never let my thoughts wander to the possibility that I'd never see her again, or any of them, but it was always there, lingering just out of focus, while Aro was making his threats and holding us hostage. Now, hearing her emotion and knowing of her very real worry-my sister that pushed me the hardest and tested my patience more than we agreed-it gave me hope and even more resolve. I had to see her, _all of them,_ again someday.

"Rose," I told her fondly. "I need your help."

"Of _course_ you do. You're a pompous ass that could have used _all_ of our help a _long time_ ago." This was the lecture portion of our conversation, the part where she told me how angry she was that I hadn't let her or the rest of our family stand at my side and fight _with_ me. Fortunately, Rosalie was the _only _one I could have called that would let it be at that, and because of who she was, she let go of the anger and the emotion just as quickly as it had bubbled up out of her. She sighed. "What do you need?"

"I need you to help me disable Aro's plane."

* * *

With Rosalie's guidance, her extensive knowledge of all things mechanical, and her ability to push the worry down and away for the task at hand, Bella and I had quickly managed to ground the plane, at least for a while. By the time Aro or any of the guard realized what we'd done to it, we'd have bought ourselves a good head start.

I finished closing the hatch to the engine and leapt down to the ground beside where Bella had already landed, the phone still clenched in my hand.

"Will the pilot be able to tell from the read on the instruments?" I asked.

"No," Rose said through the line. "I had you bypass the gauges. It should just fail to start-no sensors, no indicators. They'll figure it out eventually, if they have half a brain between them, but it should take some time."

"Thanks for you're help," I told her, looking back at the church. The work had taken at least four minutes.

"Yeah, yeah," she snorted. There was a pause. "Edward, are you coming home?"

From here, in this desolate place that was meant to be beautiful, in this place that had stripped us of some innocence, Rose sounded like a small child. Here, where I couldn't see her, where I could only listen to her voice through the slight static of the cell, I might have forgotten that she was strong and sarcastic and perceivably impenetrable. But she wasn't. None of us were.

I had been able to hear my family members in the background, milling about while Rose and I worked together for the first time in many years. I knew that Esme was terrified, beside herself. I knew that Jasper was strategizing and Emmett wanted to throw punches. Alice was watching for us. So far, the future was hazy. I also knew Carlisle wanted to speak to me.

And I couldn't tell my sister that I didn't want to hurt her anymore, that I wouldn't bring my indiscretions home.

"Put Carlisle on please," I whispered.

There was a long pause when he got on the phone. I could feel the weight that still rest on his shoulders, even through the line, even thousands of miles away. We didn't have the luxury of time, not even a little, but I let this moment rest, let us simmer in it.

"Edward," he breathed.

"Carlisle, we're out," I told him. He already knew this, of course, but it felt like it was important for _me_ to tell him. I needed him to hear those words from _my_ lips, to know from me that we weren't in Aro's castle or his bedroom-turned-prison anymore. I also wanted him to know we'd accomplished this-even if it was _just_ this-because I didn't know when I'd see him again.

"I know," he sighed. "My prayers have been answered. What are you planning?"

"We've disabled the plane," I told him, looking back over my shoulder at the little church that felt so far away. It was still, the only movement where the wind caught the leaves and send them tossing. I expected to see the Volturi emerging from the chapel, spilling out and hunting us like wolves. But they never came, to the point that it was eerie.

"Aro won't let this rest, Edward," he told me. His voice was strained. There was so much he wasn't saying, so much that neither of us was.

"Carlisle, we're going to run. I don't know when Aro will follow, and how close behind us he is. We might have hours. We might have minutes. But I won't bring it to you, I promise. I think we might try to head north first, try to-"

"No, Edward," Carlisle interrupted. I could almost see his face, the hard line of his jaw, and the determination in his eyes. "_No_. It was a _mistake_ for me to let you fight this battle-a battle that isn't yours, that started a long time ago. That started with _me."_

"I can't bring this to you!" I told him sharply. I should have known my father would blame himself, that he would take it all on himself. I inherited that from him, though we shared only his venom. Really, though, I had no one to blame but myself. "He will expect that. You need to get out of there, while there is still time."

"Where will I go, son?" he said softly. There was a kind of resolve in him. "Where can I go, where can I take Esme and Alice and Jasper, that Aro will not find me? I will not leave them, and I will not leave the people of Forks-Bella's father, for example-to be scapegoats for his anger with me. No, this is the only way. And you _are_ my own. You will be here, with me, with your family."

There was a long pause, a hesitation on his end, but not because he wasn't sure.

"Come _home_, Edward," Carlisle said. "_Come home_."

* * *

Bella's hand was firmly in mine, gently squeezing, as if to assure me that she was still with me. Off the landing strip, in a small shed-turned-hangar, was exactly what I was looking for. The sunlight crept through the slats in the wooden frame of the building, casting uneven rays over the piece of machinery.

"A helicopter," Bella said. She looked at me with what was likely question.

"Let's hope it's well maintained," I told her. It _looked_ as if it was, air-ready and waiting to take to the skies. In theory, it wasn't much different than stealing the plane. One was _supposed to_ have an approved flight plan, but it would be much easier to lie low in a small helicopter, rather than Aro's ostentatious plane. In the bright afternoon daylight, we could stay high out of reach, keeping humans from seeing us, and keeping Bella from _killing_ humans. Plus, I could land it just about anywhere, drop it off and leave it somewhere. Which is exactly what I intended to do.

A lever on the wall caused the roof to open, allowing us access to the crisp, blue sky.

I motioned for Bella to get into the cockpit and I climbed in as well. She watched me while I checked the instruments. As I expected, the chopper was well-maintained and fueled, and the irony was not lost on me that Aro would use this piece of equipment for a similar reason as I was about to: stealth.

A plane would be faster, of course. We could go a much longer distance without having to refuel. And, if need be, the craft could fit more people than this little two-person helicopter. But the airplane was not surreptitious and it was hardly as maneuverable as this would be. This helicopter was meant for surprise. I hoped I could surprise Aro.

Bella belted herself into the seat. I smiled. I wouldn't let us fall. Not now.

"We won't be able to get home in this," she said. She was fully aware that we wouldn't make it over the ocean in the small chopper. Fortunately, that was never my intent.

I placated Carlisle, told him we'd be home. And for the most part, I was not lying to him. It was my goal to make it there. But we _would_ be followed, of that I had no doubt. He would track us and hunt us, and he would try to bring us back. No doubt Demetri would be on our trail. If not now, soon.

I hoped that by delaying, meandering, changing route, I might make him think we _weren't_ going home. I needed to protect them the only way they would let me.

"We'll fly north first," I told her, watching her out of the corner of my eye. I still wanted to keep Aro guessing as long as I could. "Once we've flown long enough to deplete the helicopter, well leave it and go on foot. It will only be a temporary distraction, but hopefully It will be enough to make Demetri follow, and to think we are staying away."

"Demetri can't follow us," she said. "He can't track _you_, Edward."

She took me by surprise.

"You're _blocking_ him?" I couldn't keep the wonder out of my voice, the hope, the fear, the unbelief.

"I'm pretty sure," she said. Her brow crinkled softly, as if she were concentrating very, very hard. "I _feel_ like you are connected with me that way, at least. I'm trying to keep him out."

"Have you been blocking him since we ran?"

She nodded. "I _think_ so."

My mouth was hanging open, looking over at my lovely girl, whose heart and body and soul was wholly mine.

"Are you sure?"

She smiled, a sad little smile.

"No, because I _never_ know what I'm doing, or _how_ I'm doing it, or why," she said. "But I _feel_ you, like you are snug against me, wrapped up tight with me, and totally in the same world as I am. I've hardly been thinking of anything else, besides hiding you. So I think I _am_."

I leaned over and kissed her soundly on the lips, before flipping all the switches and starting the blades moving above us, circling and whooping loudly.

"Will you ever cease to amaze me?"

"Let's fly and hope we see," she said seriously, watching me through her lashes.

Indeed.

* * *

Bella's hand was twisted in mine again, our feet flying over the ground. It was nearly morning now, and we'd been traveling for hours from where we'd left the helicopter, near a secluded village outside of Hamburg resting in the shade of an aging, oak tree.

The night had shrouded us, let us move easily without being seen in the deep, dark, stillness. The only movement was us, speeding over the earth. The tiny helicopter lights had blipped on and off in the sunset sky, and we'd flown untouched and uninterrupted. The craft had had enough finally, and I'd left it in a little field. It would be an interesting surprise for whichever German farmer found it in the morning.

Once the helicopter could take us no further, we'd gone on foot, an easy trek through the countryside, Bella's hand firmly in mine.

We were headed south again, traveling along the borders, from country to country. My intent was to throw Demetri, and consequently, Aro, off of our trail in the only way I knew how. If Demetri thought that we were going north, perhaps he would not try to follow us south again. If he couldnt follow a straight path, perhaps he wouldn't surmise that we were going back home to Forks. That was all conjecture, though. With his gift, perhaps he'd just track us, no matter how many times we spun ourselves around.

Though, the tiniest part of me was banking on Bella's gift actually working, too.

With just the littlest bit of hope. Even if it was only sporadically, maybe it was enough.

It was foolish to assume that Bella did, indeed, have a handle on keeping Demetri's gift at bay. Her talent was still too erratic, and she still had no idea how it worked. It would have been so much easier, though, to trust it. I wouldn't have been constantly looking over my shoulder.

We had no need to rest, but when we neared the most western tip of Switzerland, curving around Lake Geneva, I halted her. We were at the base of the alps, shrouded by it, the faintest hint of sunlight just beginning to peak up over the rise of the mount. It made Bella's skin look luminous, pretty and radiant.

"We're stopping?" she asked. There was no worry in her voice, just quiet trust, almost as if we were sightseeing, taking a moment in a casual meander down the sidewalk, and I had stopped her to browse a storefront window. And for a moment, I wished that was what we were doing, living our lives with no care of who might see us and what they might do if they caught up to us.

I wanted to love her like a normal man, spoil her and pamper her and let her take advantage of me in every way. I wanted to kiss her without worry that we would be hunted, found. I wanted to amble with her, take my time and concentrate on the way her hand felt in mine, rather than the direction and speed in which we were traveling. I wanted to show her the world at a human's pace, not fleeing and flying and fighting to survive, but finding.

I nodded at her, tilting my eyes to the crystal, cool sky. It was going to be a bright and cloudless day.

"We'll head northwest again, into France and up towards Le Havre. Well charter some transportation there. But we can't do that now, not with the sun coming up. We have, maybe, another hour before we run the risk of being seen."

I saw worry flash in her eyes, and so I reached up and stroked the side of her face. There was more that frightened her than just Aro. There was the threat of humans.

"Is your shield still holding as far as you can tell?"

She nodded, but it didn't seem to diminish her fears, fears that I hadn't witnessed in her until that moment. Perhaps I was over-anticipating her abilities, her strength and her willpower over her thirst. Or maybe she feared for me more than I understood, feared that her gift wasn't keeping me close.

"I don't _know_ that I'm even doing anything, though, Edward. What if I'm _not?"_

I pulled her against me, tight to me, and wrapped my arms around her. It felt like so long ago-_was it years?_-that I had taken her into my arms, held her, kissed her, loved her with my body for the first time. Her arms connected around me in the back, and it was like being somewhere warm and safe and easy. I rested my chin on the top of her head, and when I couldn't hold back any longer, I tilted her back and kissed her lips, softly, and slowly, and what I hoped was reassuringly.

"I know," I whispered. "I know that you are frightened. But we have no choice but to wait. There is no way to ensure against the sunlight right now. Not on foot. I want to leave as little of a paper trail as possible. No cars, no planes. Aro can find us that way. He has so much sway."

She leaned up and kissed me again, sighing through my lips.

"You're right."

"I trust Rose to have disabled that plane. It's all we can do. If Aro wants to leave Volterra to come after us, then we need to keep as low a profile as we can. We cant risk using a credit card or giving names right now. All those other things are out of our hands now. Besides, we'll do what we can-move as fast and as far as we can. And right now, I really need to get you out of those clothes."

Her eyes widened, glittering with something hot and needy and surprised. Her mouth fell open, just a little. I chuckled at the look on her face at what my intended words did to her, a tantalizing mix of excitement and embarrassment and desire.

"My naughty little love," I whispered against her lips, and despite the fact that we were running for our lives, despite the fact that I was more afraid than I'd ever tell her and that I had no real order or faith in what the future would bring, I smiled. "That's not what I meant."

She looked confused and perhaps a little disappointed.

"We need to change, get ourselves covered as much as we can, in case we are able to move in the daylight," I told her, still excited that she wished I was being suggestive. "We may need to blend, and right now we don't. We are both in need of some new attire."

We were filthy.

"Oh."

"But maybe later," I teased, leading her to the nearest small town.

* * *

I spent the morning and most of the afternoon looking out the window of our small, stolen room in Nantua, watching and listening for signs that we'd been found and cornered.

Bella had admonished me firmly when I'd swiped the key from the cleaning staff and sealed us both inside for the duration of the day.

The sunlight had sparkled through the trees in the high mountain air and off the lake to the north, teasing me and taunting me with the fact that we weren't running still, weren't almost home.

Bella spent it quietly tucked on the still-made bed. She was concentrating, I could tell, working more diligently and harder than she ever had before to hide me, protect me.

I let her be, mostly because I needed her to succeed as much as _she_ needed it. That, and I didn't have much to say.

What could you say to the most important person in your life, when everything you'd done had made them an escaped fugitive?

_I'm sorry? _Again? She deserved so much better than this, so much more than I'd given her so far.

It had been easier to stop the apologies from leaving my lips when we were stuck, because it was what she asked of me, and then, I would have flown to the moon if she'd have asked it of me. But now, we were running, and I felt like it was all in vain. In the quiet of the room, with her eyes squeezed tight and her hands clenched in desperation to keep me close to her shield, apologies felt easy and natural. I, without a plan, and with one single focus, was leading us all on a wild goose chase. What happened to us when we were caught?

I had no reception to my cell phone, here in the high air and in the shade of the scaling mountain peaks of the Alps all around us. I wanted to call Carlisle, connect with him again, just to let him know where we were and that we were still alive, and that we _were_ making our round-about way back to him and the rest of the family. But even that was a risk. I didn't now how, but I imagined that it would be possible for Aro to track us that way too, and even as I was wandering about the room trying to pick up a signal, I decided to switch my phone off.

What if the last time I spoke to him was truly the last? What if he didn't answer because he couldn't get to the phone, because he was being held just as we were? What if he knew where we were and then Aro found us through him? I hoped I was making the right choices.

Better safe than have Aro make us sorry. I prayed Aro wasn't already there, making _Carlisle _sorry. I was losing hope with each degree, every turn we took, with every second that the sun took to descend.

The sun was finally beginning to set, casting shadows over the lowest peaks of the mountains, and igniting the world in subtle burgundies and warm golds and ripe peaches. I breathed a sigh of relief, even though it was far from enough, and turned around and looked at my love.

Bella was washed and redressed in the clothes I'd stolen from one of the small boutiques on the main thoroughfare of the tiny town. Her skin was white-pink again, clean and tight and shimmering from the muted sunlight coming in through the gauzy drapes over the window. She'd pulled her hair back off her face into a tight ponytail in the center of her scalp-she'd been thankful to have it finally pulled back, she'd said.

The tight, hooded black sweatshirt was zipped over a plain white tee and fit her well, hugged her in all the right places. She was wearing a matching pair of black yoga pants, ones that she'd requested I get her, citing a need for comfort and movability. She still _thought_ like a human, still acted like one, even though she hadn't been able to come with me because there were too many people around. As it was, even in the confines of our secluded room, with few tourists and only the cleaning lady in the adjacent rooms, she could smell them and it was driving her crazy, burning her throat with tantalizing fire.

I hadn't been worried until now, had barely even thought about her thirst, as we traveled through the countryside where everyone was sleeping. But now, we'd need to travel through towns, places where even late at night the world might be awake and alert and causing her temptations. I'd have to avoid Paris, I decided. It was dangerous to be here.

She was scrunching her brow so tightly, if she hadn't have been undead, I'd have worried about her popping a vein. As if she could sense me, she looked up.

"It's time to go," I said softly, unable to fully keep my voice neutral and without fondness. I knew that I needed to focus us both-one of the only reasons I hadn't striped her and loved her the moment we were inside. She steeled herself and nodded with resolve.

"Okay," she said. She closed her eyes and held her breath, reaching out to me with her fingers so that I could hold her tightly and keep her from attacking humans who might be between the room and our route. She was strong and courageous and so much better with this than Id ever anticipated. "Let's go."

Thus ending our fleeting moments of solitude without peace.

* * *

The rain was coming down where we were in heavy droplets that splattered our bodies audibly, even despite the velocity that we moved. For the most part, it was easy to dodge them, and if we weren't running now out of necessity, perhaps we'd make a game of it. I could have imagined us playing that way at one point, trying to out-maneuver one another to stay the driest, laughing and collapsing into each other—but not anymore. There were no more thoughts of games or playfulness. That time for us had passed like the landscape passed us now, hazy and long behind us. This was not lightness and joy. This was fear and desperation and instinct. The dark shadows circled around us like ghouls.

Running silently had given us even more focus, though now my mind was consumed. Each moment intensified the feelings of dread. I wouldn't tell her how terrified I was, how my heart hurt at the idea that even though we were closing the distance between this place and our family, my spirit was growing wearier. With each passing moment, minute, hour we were lessening our chances of ever reaching home. It was only a matter of time.

We'd been running in the black of night for a little over two hours now, running since the brink of nightfall, moving over the land with deliberate haste. I couldn't pinpoint our exact location at the moment, though I knew we were very near Portugal. Even in their sleep, I could hear the varying dialects as we passed by each still and silent home. At the last moment, just as we neared Paris, I had altered our course. We could see the Eiffel Tower in the mist, and I tried to avoid the look in Bella's eyes as she stared at it with wistfulness. I wouldn't be able to give her that, either. My compass was the need to get further and further away from the belly of hell and all that it held. I decided it would be better, safer, to keep zig-zagging, keep moving as long as we could.

Aro's hand was far reaching, and if anyone had seen us in France, an new country would offer us more protection. My heart raced at the knowledge that we were nearing the coast, and that meant a certain amount more freedom—peace. Only one direction to attack from. All I could focus on was getting out into the open water.

I wasn't used to feeling so helpless, at least not since all of this-since her. My ability had always awarded me the upper hand, but it was of no use to us now. There was no one to hear at the moment, no one to tell us through their thoughts what was to come, save for a few forlorn dreamers that whispered over my subconscious in flashes and then disappeared in the blink of an eye. There was only the knowledge that they _might_ be following us—they _might_ be coming to take from me the only thing that had ever truly mattered.

Her hand was in mine, as our legs ghosted over the unfamiliar terrain. I'd taken it when we started out of Le Bugue, pulling her up from her crouched position beside me as we hid in the shadows like thieves. We'd _had_ to hide, and I hadn't anticipated it, but I was quietly and guiltily thankful for the quick contact, the touch of her as I held her still and unbreathing. She hadn't been prepared for the onslaught of human scent, and she clung to me, begging me with her body and her hands on me to protect her-again. She'd not loosened her grip on me since. Hell, she'd never loosened her grip on me. From the moment I met her, she'd held me so tightly I could barely reason, and she hadn't relented her hold. She never _would_. I was forever captive to her.

I glanced at her briefly and frowned. I wished that it was under different circumstances that we were running together. I imagined her, running beside me in the forest near Forks, or up in Denali, free and laughing, teasing me. But there was no laughter now. At one point, she had been so light. Now she was like a shell of her former self. I only saw the spark of life in her when she was beneath me, and I was in her, willing her to understand what my ministrations on her body meant: that she had _all_ of me.

I watched her carefully as Spain's landscape passed us by, all the fear and weight of the world resting on her tiny shoulders, and all I could think of was how badly I wished I could take it all away from her. She'd absolved me of all my sins already, so many times, but all I could think of was that I'd done this to her. I was the cause of all of her sadness and all of her happiness at the same time. She was the cause of mine.

_I'd_ changed her, and damned her to this life. _I'd_ taken away all her hope for an Eden. _I'd_ pushed myself on her and brought her to their den, and now we were running for our lives. We were running for our freedom. We were running for the future that neither of us knew if we had a right to hope for.

But we'd also found each other there, in the depths of despairing. I had no doubt that everything I was, I was for her- and she for me. Like two pieces of the same person, we were always meant to be together. It is why she had come to Forks, and why I had come back again. It is why there was a treaty so many years before, as if the universe was leading me to that place, in anticipation for her arrival. It's why it always felt like home.

I was nothing without her.

She was dirty again, rain and sand and mud marring her creamy white skin all over. Her clothes were worn and wrinkled already. There was a rip in her pants along her knee where she'd caught a branch, enticing me with the promise of her long legs underneath. Even like that, I could only see her perfection. Her long mahogany hair was tied back, but sopping wet from the downpour, and twisted around itself in knots, from the wind whipping through it.

My heart pang at the thought of this beautiful creature beside me being considered anything less than a goddess. She was flawlessness, powerful and fierce. Her superiority eked from her, and I had lowered her, made her like me. I ached knowing that, despite it all, she'd never leave me. I'd done nothing to merit the right to her. But still, she had brought me up, too. I was a better man, because I belonged to her. I _needed_ her.

Near a small grouping of rocks, I halted abruptly. Her hand tightened in mine the moment she realized that I was no longer moving and she spun around. Her body crashed into mine from the momentum, and I wrapped my arms around her, immediately steadying her. Her surprise was evident on her face as I gripped her firmly to keep her from toppling us both, and she questioned me fearfully with her eyes. She waited for me to tell her that they were near, but it didn't come. Her arms wound around me instinctually so that our bodies were pressed against each other tightly. Her breasts heaved against me in anticipation and trepidation. Her eyes were wild and fire-red as she gazed into mine. She surrendered to me.

I pulled her into me, grasping the back of her head and tilting her mouth up so that I could put it on mine. She did not hesitate to engage me, and her arms tightened around me in understanding of my actions. Our tongues danced together hungrily, fighting the other for dominance. I didn't know what it was, whether it was the fear and desperation, or the way that she felt in my arms, or the way that her eyes burned with need—or the fact that I knew this might be the last opportunity that we had for this—but I had to kiss her. I had to love her. I _had _to _have _her.

I grasped at her with abandon, tugging and pulling her as close as I could. The only sounds were our needy gasps and moans as we nipped and lapped and groped one another in the darkness. I pawed at her, winding my fists tightly in the nape of her disheveled hair, and pulled it free so that it fell between my fingers in wet twists. My hand stroked down her back forcefully until I grabbed her tight round ass and squeezed, and I lifted her up, giving me access to her whole body. I wanted to touch her and feel her and be with her. She wrapped her legs around my waist, bouncing slightly as my straining erection met her hot, wet core. I moaned, knowing that she was already ready for me, and she gasped as she felt the pressure against her sensitive flesh. Even in our clothes, we quivered at the intensity of our touch. Our lips never wavered from each other and I tasted her sweet venom on my tongue through her breathy moans.

We toppled to the ground, clawing at one another. I rolled her over, devouring her neck as I tried to retain enough concentration to remove her clothing carefully. We needed to redress at some point.

I tried to contain myself, remembering the situation we were in—we were running, we were escaping, we were _fighting_ for our _lives_. I had restrained my want for her back at the hotel-why could I not now? But all I could think, and feel, and _know_, was that the beautiful creature beneath me was mine. I had to show her that _she _was the reason I was running in the first place: I was running to save her from the nightmare I had caused her, to give us something more.

I was about to remove her shirt, snaking my hands up her sides and lifting to reveal the delicious pale skin beneath, when I suddenly froze. There, off in the distance, was the sound of rushing wind. It was the sound of feverish running. I heard a missed step and the tumbling of earth and rock beneath labored footfalls. Behind us was the sound of _pursuit_.

It had been a night and a day and then darkness again since we'd left Volterra. What I didn't know was that while we'd left the land of Hades and travelled back up the River Styx towards home, the nightmare was only beginning. Hell was on our heels, and it was not so far behind us.

We were being followed. And they were close.

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**End Notes: **Thank you for reading, so _so much! _Until Chapter 26, my friends. Lots of love and appreciation.


	26. Chapter 26: Save the Date

**Author's Note:**

Hey, all! Thank you for the kind words from the last chapter. I love hearing all your theories about the pursuit. I hope I can still surprise you! ;) We'll see, huh? Not much more to say, accept...enjoy! This chapter is one of my personal favorites. Hope it's one of yours.

Oh, and Happy Election day to my USA readers! Go vote! ;)

**Chapter 26 Playlist Song: Love Remains the Same, Gavin Rossdale**

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 26: Name the Time and the Place, Save the Date**

Bella stilled beside me, noticing the look on my face.

"They are coming," I told her. Without my direction, she crouched and growled, ready. There was no outrunning this now. Whomever it was, they were too close, too near our heels to allow us to get away. We were trapped.

There was only one. I could only hear a single set of footfalls across the murky ground. The earth was wet, and their feet sunk just a little with each step. Perhaps it was Demetri, and Bella had over-anticipated her gift. Maybe _I_ had. Well _obviously_. We had been hunted, tracked, found, hadn't we?

I looked over at my lover, poised and ready. Our assailant-to-be was so close now, I could almost make out the wake of his mind, the rhythm and cadence, despite the fact that he wasn't thinking much. Definitely a _he_. But I still took a moment to watch her, truly look at the only thing that could ever have been worth all of this. I wished that our time hadn't been wasted, that I'd have stayed in Forks so many months ago, that I could have married her. I wanted to give her the universe, my lovely girl who'd not had long enough, in _either _life.

"I love you," I told her, because I reasoned I might not get another chance to ever do it again. Who knew what we were facing? Again.

I would go down fighting, just to get the chance.

The vampire was close now. Just a moment away. Less, less.

I tried to read his mind again, capture a hint as to what he would do with us when he caught up, but he was preoccupied, gauging the distance from puddle to puddle, making a game out of keeping up while avoiding rain and mud and sinking earth. His voice was unrecognizable, someone I didn't know and hadn't heard before. Not Demetri, or Aro, or Jane. This was no Volturi I knew.

Still, he was on a mission.

I leapt at him through the rain, launched myself in the direction that we'd just come. Too fast for human or animal, I took him by surprise, tackled him and halted him and sent him sprawling back into a puddle with a resounding crack that may have been thunder to a human ears. My body threw him, and together, we sailed over the wet dirt-clay so that we sank into it, so deeply that we were in the ground up to my shoulders, the rain water pooling around us.

The vampire was bigger than me, but I'd taken him by surprise, and he was at a disadvantage, his reflexes unprepared and therefore slower than mine. I took the opportunity and my leverage to pin him with my hips. My hands found his throat and I squeezed.

"Who are you and what do you want?!" I shouted. The rain was falling in sheets now, creating a curtain around us as if to shroud us from the rest of the world. I was fine with that, buried in the mud and blanketed in darkness, so that I could kill him more silently and with no regret. My rage was blinding, so much so that all I saw was my hands wrapped around his throat, and the surprised look on his face, and the rain drops splattering the ground around his head. Nothing else existed, save Bella and this.

He didn't answer me, not right away. His eyes were wide, still-surprised globes that held so many questions about my attack. His mind was confused, wary, and I realized then that he had never anticipated an attack on my part, nor had he been aware there could be trouble on my end. This was not what he had imagined in our meeting, when he finally caught up to me. He saw it so much differently than this, and his eyes recognized my anger more than I could. In his mind, I didn't look like myself; I was more demon than man, more desperate than anything else, and more ready for vengeance. I was vile, holding him there, a man on the edge. He recognized me, from somewhere I couldn't quite pinpoint, but not from a physical memory. He knew of my talents, but we had never met.

"Edward." Bella came beside me, and said my name. Her voice was haunting, as natural as breathing had once been, but it sounded far away, lost in the rain and my own cloud of hatred, and herself. She stood over my shoulder and said my name softly, and his eyes darted to her for a moment. There was recognition there too. Her hands were out, cautiously balancing in the space between us, as if I were a skittish animal she wished not to frighten. In the vampires mind, her name echoed like a wonder._ It's her_, he thought. It only caused me to tighten my grip on his neck.

"Answer me!" I roared. His eyes connected to mine, and his mind spoke directly to me.

_Can't very well answer you when you're crushing my windpipe, now can I?_

His eyebrows rose in askance. It startled me, though it shouldn't have. If he was sent after us, then he would know the details of my gift, and maybe Bella's too. He would have been told, at least as much as he needed to succeed. But there was something about the tone of his thoughts, and the simple and slow way he talked- not as if he were worried about being discovered, but as if he was curious himself. I don't know what made me release him, whether it was his lazy, old-fashioned drawl, or the way his body settled into my hold and relinquished control, but I realized that while I still couldn't trust him, I needed answers, and he couldn't give them buried in the mud.

I released him with a huff, pressing down on his jugular just a fraction too hard as I rose.

"No, I suppose not," I allowed, with resentment. I kneeled over the deep trench we'd made and allowed his the room to rise, all the while wondering if I'd done the right thing. My body was on alert, and I remained ready, just in case it had been a misstep. He made a show of getting up and stretching, rubbing his neck with his palm and cricking his neck.

"So its true then," he said, chuckling unamusingly at the fact that I could hear his thoughts. He knew enough, it seemed, about my gift, but not anything he actually believed. Hearing about it, as it were, was different than experiencing for himself.

This vampire was not Volturi, of that I was now positive, though he _had_ been following us. But his interest didn't seem to be acquisition, or even bounty hunting, but strange curiosity. In his mind, I saw one of the many conversations in which our names came up, prisoners of Aro for our talents.

"What do you want?" I yelled at him. My words were not kind, my tone unrelenting. I was becoming impatient, mostly because I could hear his thoughts and they still weren't giving me any real answers. I needed to know who this man was and what he was looking for. And why. My voice wasn't as strong as I would have liked it to be, drown out by the rain falling around us. I wanted to scream at him and deafen him with the rage inside of me-not necessarily at him, but at everything. But he stood still, didn't move toward me or try to attack. I was so desperately angry, both from the fear that his arrival had caused in me and for the danger he brought to Bella. He'd seen us, and that was a threat to us. I was teetering. I didn't trust him, this vampire that knew of our plight with Aro and had been on our heels, it seemed, for some time. "Why are you following us?"

There could have been many reasons for it. Perhaps he would try to return us to Volterra. The world was full of indecent vampires who wanted a reward from our presumed monarchy, to forever be in their good graces. Or to protect their own interests. Maybe he would tell the Volturi he had seen us, tell them where we were.

He stood up tall, arched his back and stretched again, as if my attack had made his aging bones tight and aching. His sandy blond hair was deepened and matted from the rain, pulled back into a low tail, and he wore a long, travelers trench coat. He had a straight jaw, but warm, red-blood eyes, and when he smiled-which he was doing now at me, out of the corner of his mouth-his eyes crinkled just a little bit at the corners.

"He really did do a number on you, didn't he?" He was thinking again of an evening, in a dark corner of a tavern, of a hushed conversation of abduction and torture and manipulation. _Ours_.

He reached forward through the rain and held out his hand.

"Name's Garrett," he said.

I looked at his hand stretched and unwavering between us, a signal of a man offering a greeting to another. For what could have been as long as an hour or as short as a breath, I looked at it. When he had been a man, this man had toiled. His hands were large and used. Though his venom had healed his physical wounds, his fingers were just a little crooked and deformed from ages of working with them, just by the smallest of fractions. He watched me and he watched his hand and he watched Bella over me shoulder as she came to stand beside me, very patiently waiting.

"I'm Bella," she said from beside me. "And this is Edward. But you still haven't said why you were following us."

"Yeah," he said, looking at the ground a bit sheepishly. "Sorry that I ambushed you. Likely wasn't wise to follow you unannounced, but I was just trying to keep up. You both are faster than me."

He took a minute to really look us over, and I could hear from his mind that he was surprised we were alive and still running. Not from this, this run that we were making, of course. But from Aro, and from his torture, and from his mind games. He wondered how we'd outlasted Aro and his minions' manipulations-he looked over Bella, held her in higher regard, this little newborn that was escaping Aro's clutches. I wasn't sure if he was thinking any of this for _my_ benefit, or if he was already unconscious of the fact that I could hear his thoughts, but hearing him gave me more insight, though it wasn't enough for me.

"There were rumors," he continued. "Heard through the undead grapevine that Aro was holding some hostages. Two vampires that had talents that he wanted. No surprise there. But then I heard that they'd escaped. Thought I would see if I could track you down-see for myself."

This was legitimate enough for him, enough of an explanation. But it wasn't for me. It didn't make me trust him, as genuine as his mind seemed.

"So you thought you'd track us, take us back to him," I hissed. I growled low in my throat, and Bella placed her hand on my arm and squeezed gently. Garrett put his hands up.

"Hey, now. No ill will intended. Aro can take his throne and sit on it, for all I care. He's manipulative, and I bow down to no man that will take advantage of those he deems below him. It goes against my grain."

Garrett remembered a time long ago, one that was fuzzy and full of human uncertainty. He'd been of the Revolution, a militia man that had spent the greater part of his living, adult life fighting oppression and tyranny and injustice. I saw his memory, him standing on a battlefield of dead and dying men-not like in the movies, where the men had no discernible features, all limp limbs and faces unrecognizable, but _real_ men, men whose names he knew-their broken bodies bloody and assaulted, their eyes open and empty.

He'd seen real war, real suffering because one group used leverage against another. And he was intolerant of it. To a fault.

"_No_ man-vampire or not-should own anyone. Doesn't matter who you are. Humans have made that mistake too many times in the years I've been alive. Seems Aro's adopted the philosophy."

This Garrett was definitely genuine. He definitely didn't have any love for Volterra. But I still didn't know if we could trust him. If I could trust the life of _my Bella_ with him.

"So what _do_ you want?"

"I know Carlisle," he said, looking more boyish than the tall lanky man that he was. "Well, I know _of_ him at least. We met in passing once, briefly, a long time ago. And I heard you were his family. I thought I could help. I don't like Aro or his methods."

Through his eyes, I could see how incredulous I looked, how my eyebrow was arched, unconvinced.

"And, you know," he coughed. "I was a little bit interested in this crazy lifestyle you lead. Thought I might check out the northern Pacific coast."

Garrett, this nomad that had no tie to us, or any real fellowship with us, wanted to help. Well, at least that is what he _said_. I almost told him to leave, to return to where he'd come from. But truthfully, there was a real, unfathomable danger that was sure to follow. If Garrett could find us, then Aro _would, _and soon. He could have had his minions at our heels already.

Eventually, he'd get to us. And we would need all the help we could get-all the support-if we even wanted to survive. Plus, he obviously knew more about the situation than I expected. Perhaps his eyes and ears and experience could serve us well.

But if I was being honest with myself, I was frightened. This nomad found us, just from rumors and hearsay. Aro's abilities surely outweighed that of this vampire's. How could I protect Bella from Aro when I couldn't even hide her from _Garrett_. Either Bella _was_ blocking Demetri, or Aro had more planned than simply following us and bringing us back. He could have caught us by now, obviously. But he hadn't.

And I _had_ to keep Bella safe, even if it meant my own demise. That was my greatest goal.

We were wasting time. I ran my hands through my hair and sighed. I took a moment to look back at Bella. She was drenched, soaked through. Her long hair that not long ago I'd pulled from her ponytail was hanging straight down her face, water cascading down the slope of her nose and through her eyelashes. Even sopping wet and fearful, there was nothing I wanted more than her. Her eyes were so clear. She nodded.

"We are going to run," I said, turning back to our new companion. "Keep up. If you don't, I wont wait. I have to much to lose to wait for you. And I'll be listening for betrayal. I'll kill you if I have to."

"I wouldn't expect anything less," he said.

I took Bella's hand and we started to run.

And I didn't look back to see if he was following us.

* * *

The private flight out of Lisbon was the safest and easiest option-sheltered, untraceable, solitary-and a much better option than I would have otherwise had. With Garrett's help and connections, we'd managed to charter a private jet to get us to Miami. It hurt me to say it, but we were fortunate to have his assistance. Garrett's pilot buddy was happy to do it for us, both cheaply and very discreetly and we were able to leave Portugal within a few hours of arriving. It would have been risky to use a credit card of my own to get Bella and I a commercial flight, too traceable and predicable and...bright. I vowed to return the favor to Garrett for his assistance. It was a matter of principle.

We'd lost time, spending the day at the hotel out of the sun, and then running into Garrett. Aro might have already been in Forks. I shuddered to think what he would do to my family once he got there. I only hoped that Alice was able to see any incoming danger, and that they wouldn't be foolish enough to wait for me if he was coming.

In the air, I turned on my phone again. There were three missed calls-two from Carlisle, and one from Rose-and corresponding messages. Carlisle was checking up, and then letting us know that they were preparing everyone for our arrival. I breathed a sigh of relief that Aro, at least at the point he left the message, had not arrived. Rose wanted to gloat about the plane, I think. I also had a cryptic text from alice.

_Colby, Kansas_

_302 N Court Ave_

_Fri, Nov. 18_

_11:47 PM_

That was all there was, just that. No explanation. I was used to this kind of thing from Alice-over the years, I'd learned to accept these things with grace. But this baffled me. I told Bella as much.

"I wouldn't bet against Alice," she said with a smirk. And we decided, that if it is what Alice suggested, we'd be there, at that place, at that time.

Garrett, to his credit, had kept up with us. He'd kept quiet and allowed us to run in front of him. Bella looked back over her shoulder now and then to make sure he was still with us, but I already knew that because of his thoughts, so I didn't bother.

In hearing him from the inside, though, I was able to learn more about him. He was a nomad by nature, spending his days looking for all the things that he hadn't seen in his life. He loved the unknown, wanted adventure, sought justice. He'd been hanging about in an Irish pub, watching the world go by, when he'd first gotten wind of us. It seemed that some of those that had been in the turret that day had been spreading rumors-perhaps that was what Aro wanted, to make us an example. Over the course of our time in Volterra, while we were losing track of everything that wasn't stone and gore and imprisonment, vampires all over seemed to be learning of our plight. Some of them laughed at it, two young and petulant vampires who refused to drink human blood had been captured. There were so many that aligned with Aro in his beliefs, that we were above the human race, and that it was better to be on his side than against him. There were many that couldn't care less. Regardless, it seemed that we were quite the topic of conversation. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, especially now that we were trying to hide.

But then word got out that we had escaped from Aro, and of what Bella had done with her amazing and terrifying ability. Garrett had been in France when he heard, and then, by chance, we were so near.

In hearing his thoughts through our run, I learned what his true character was like. Bella was taking the opportunity _now_, sitting in the enclosed airplane. She was quizzing and prodding him about his life, the details of his history, the things he'd seen in all the ages he'd been alive. She made him laugh with her fire and inquisitiveness, and in turn, he asked her about her skills.

"You're something," he told her. "I've never seen anything quite like you. Close, but not quite."

"You've seen someone like me before," she asked, sitting up and leaning in. I perked up my ears too, listening more intently. "You've seen someone with a talent like mine?"

"No, not exactly. He wasn't truly able to manipulate it as far as you can. He could shield himself and others, and throw off a little light show here and there. Not as extensive as yours, though. Aro wanted him, too."

This was interesting. I didn't know about this vampire Garrett spoke of. Aro had never thought of him.

"What happened to him?" Bella asked.

"He didn't want to be anyone's pawn," he said simply. "He took his own life. He had help. He didn't want to belong to Aro."

"I know the feeling," she whispered.

My chest caved, and my heart hurt, at this idea of my Bella ending her own life because she couldn't be his minion. All over again, I was falling, tilting and reaching and flailing to try to gain some semblance of peace, seeing her again in her own vision of her ultimate separation from me. I grasped the armrest next to me and bent it as I held on, five perfectly formed finger imprints left in my wake.

"Doesn't it bother you," she asked softly after a long time, "to take another life? To drink a persons blood and watch them die?"

"I suppose I never looked at it the way you and yours do-at least in that it's not a _necessity_. I mean, it's a matter of survival for our kind. I'm a survivor," Garrett said. "Though I do see that _you're_ still living, despite, so perhaps I'd do well to at least attempt it your way."

He glanced over at me, this man that was monopolizing my love. I scowled. Hell knew that if we were alone in this plane, in the darkness here with the shades all pulled and the pilot occupied, I would have been loving her. He laughed at me, the way my arms were crossed and my brow was furrowed.

"I've seen a lot of things in my day," Garrett said, "but you two are something worth talking about."

For a long while we were all silent, lost in our own thoughts-me, lost in both Garrett's and mine.

"What was it like?" he finally said.

It was Bella who answered him, her voice hollow and wispy, like she was living it all over again.

"Like _not_ surviving."

* * *

I stood staring up at the dark building, unsure if I was correct. The street was deserted, the only sound the traffic far away from us, on a highway not far from where we were, and the occasional night animal movement in he darkness. All the windows on the tall office building were black. There were no cars in the adjacent lot. For all we could tell, there was nothing of interest in it.

"Are you _sure_ this is it?" Garrett asked.

I was. _302 North Court Avenue. _Just as Alice had texted. I was tempted to call her.

My phone read _11:46,_ a minute before the time she had texted. I was about to press and hold her speed dial when another text popped.

_Really?! God, Edward, just go in! Back left door. _

Another, just as my phone's clock turned over to the next minute:

_Now._

I smiled at my sister's flair for the dramatic. She couldn't just tell me. It always had to be a production, a show, an evidence of the power that damned her in her human life. We made our way around the side of the building, the only indicator that we were in the right spot the address on the side of the building in large, rounded font... and Alice. The door was propped, a wooden wedge stuck under it, just a little. I hazarded a glance back at Bella and stepped in. Her hand was laced in mine, her fingers tightly bound around my own fingers.

The hallway in front of us stretched on, doors staggered on either side of it. The hall was dark and unlit, but in front of us, an office door sat ajar, light spilling out from it onto the floor. I could hear the whir of a vacuum, and the brush, brush of the spinning rotation as it glided over the thin, institutional pile. In her head, an older Latino woman was singing a pop song that was apparently popular on the radio. I didn't know it. The lyrics were a little bit wrong and muddled, but from her voice in her head I could tell that she had a lovely singing voice. She started to hum as she moved the vacuum back and forth.

An older man sat at the long oak desk, fiddling with stacks of paperwork. I could clearly see in his mind, the crucial clarity of it, despite his presumed age. He was waiting, glancing at the clock, wondering if we'd actually show up. Doubting it, from the absurdity of it and the precision of it all. He was thinking of Jasper, and of the strange request he'd received from his phone call today. Both of them were vampires.

Bella was tense beside me, grasping at my hand like her lifeline. We were bathed in the light of the office now, standing in the doorway. The vacuum shut down, winding painfully.

"Well, I'll be damned," the vampire said in a low and booming voice. "You are Edward and Bella then?"

I nodded.

"We are."

"Jasper said I should expect you," he said. "Well, his _wife_, anyway. Talent like that is scary. Marta will be a witness, and I see you have another."

My heart both plummeted and soared. I'd never imagined, though I should have known that Alice would be involved one way or another.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"For what?" Bella said. She couldn't see into their minds. She didn't know that this was all we ever wanted, but not _nearly_ enough. Never enough.

The older vampire laughed and walked around the desk.

"For your wedding, of course."

* * *

This was not the way I had imagined our wedding the multitude of times that it had played out in my head. We were not with the midst of our family, supported and loved the way my brothers and sisters had been. There was no scent of roses and lilies in the air. No music played for us as she descended a staircase to me and our waiting guests. I did not wear a tuxedo, and I did not wait anxiously to see her for the first time, my eyes laying sight of the most beautiful creature that heaven and earth could imagine. There were no sentimental vows in which I told her how much she'd changed me, or how my being belonged to her in every way possible. She was not dressed in the most exquisite of silks. I had no ring to give her that would sparkle on her finger, and she had nothing for me.

There would be no joyous celebration where we gathered with those that we loved. I would not whisk her away to some remote island where we worshiped each other endlessly, sparkling together in the sunlight. I would not pull her into my arms and carry her over the threshold. These things were not meant for us, as we stood at the judge that my sister had arranged for us and said our prescribed vows in the presence of our new, hardly loved-one companion and a maid that had been cleaning the offices in the quiet and deserted midnight building, the both of us dirty and worn.

But as I stood beside her, this woman who had become my entire existence, I thanked the heavens regardless. She was mine, in every sense of the word, our souls intertwined and whole. I had imagined the feeling thousands of times before, but it did not compare to the way it actually felt to know that I was forever hers, and she was forever mine, and only mine. However long that meant.

I did not twirl her around the dance floor for all to see, to the music that danced in the night air. There was no stringed orchestra, no Chopin or Debussy. But we _did_ dance. To the music of our raspy breath, filling the dark room. To the sound of my name on her lips. The soft grunts and panting pleas as I showed her that she was my world. The rhythm of our bodies as she gave herself to me _was_ our dance, the feeling of her against all of me, and the echoing cry as I filled her completely. That was our dance, and it was the only one we would get. I had not been able to give her everything, but I would give her all of me. I already had, in every sense of the word.

And finally, no one-not Aro, not mankind, not God himself-would take her from me.

* * *

"We have to go," I whispered into her hair.

Bella and I were alone still, naked, cuddled beneath forever-stained and threadbare sheets in a dive motel outside Colby. Her leg was thrown over my hip, and I held her to me, regretting the words as they left my lips.

This was our honeymoon, and the time was running short. I'd brought her here because I _needed _her. In a completely senseless and selfish way, I'd needed her-my _wife._ The sound of the word in my head was both foreign and perfectly natural, so full of joy and yet so weary of desperation.

I laced her fingers through mine, kissed each one of them as they rested against my knuckles. I nuzzled her hair, all twisted and knotted from our journey and from lying beneath me in the bed, from being tangled in my fingers. She smelled of rain and earth and beautiful Bella, full of worry and joy and calm and turmoil. All at once.

"I know," she sighed. Her voice was full of regret. It had only been an hour since we'd stumbled into the room, our lips pressed together with violent needy fury. It felt like so long ago that I had loved her, that I had let her love me with her body-our wedding night had been an absolute necessity. But we needed to go, continue fleeing for our lives, and our families', and now Garrett's.

I was thankful for his companionship, though I'd likely never tell him. I was also thankful that he found a preoccupation for an hour.

Despite the fact that we both knew that our time was up, however, neither one of us moved to get up. We stayed that way for a few minutes more, tidy limbs and bodies, pressed as tightly as they would allow. I would have melted into her if it was possible, combined us even more into one, physical homogenous body that couldn't be separated.

I felt Bella shift a little. She rose up above me so that she was looking into my eyes.

_She was my wife._

"Edward, I'm scared," she said softly, worrying her bottom lip.

I reached up and stroked my fingers up her cheek. She was mine. Only. Fully.

"Bella, you know I would never let anything happen to you. I promise, I'll do everything possible to protect you."

"No, I'm not afraid of that," she said, rolling her eyes at me just a little.

"Well, what is it then?"

She closed her eyes and breathed, in and out. In and out. Her lip was all pouted now, full and soft and pretty. But she was not happy, not blushing like a new bride should be. She was radiant, but burdened by the weight of her crimes and mine, full of life but still dead-passionate but hesitant to give any more of herself, lest she give up the last piece. I was that piece to her, perhaps her very last one.

"What if…" she started, and paused with regret. "What if this is _it_? What if you and I don't get a happily ever after? What if, after _all_ this, we don't get an anniversary? What If we don't get a honeymoon, or get to travel together? What if the rest of our lives together—_'till death do us part—_is _right_ now?"

She sighed and finally opened her eyes and looked at me. I leaned up and kissed her and ignored the pain in her heart and mine. Her eyes would not cry tears, but I almost felt her phantom trails down her cheeks with my fingertips.

"What if I took your future away from you?" she breathed.

My Bella. My beautiful wife. If she only knew.

I hadn't been _living_ until I lived for _her_.

"Then it was worth it," I said, kissing her again. "I can't tell you what the future will bring, how long we'll get this for. But I'd rather have five minutes with you as my wife than five lifetimes without you. If this is all we get? Well, then it was everything. _You_ are everything to me, Bella. You are my future, no matter when it ends. I will follow you wherever you go, even if that means to hell and back again."

"I love you," she said.

"I love _you,_" I told her. "Besides, I _will_ make love to you in the sunlight on some remote island where no one can touch us. Those fuckers be damned if they think they're going to stop _me_ from doing _that_!"

She giggled. I kissed her one final time, ran my fingers up her body, dancing a waltz with them over her skin. Reluctantly, we both rose, and then dressed.

Before I closed the motel room door behind us, I took a final look at our marriage bed, the sheets tangled where we'd mussed them with our bodies and our lovemaking. I would never forget it. It was where my life truly began.

* * *

The sunlight was rising over the hill. Despite the crisp coolness in the air, birds were chittering. I ran here once, back to this place I thought I'd had to escape from-because of her. I knew nothing then about escaping.

_Now_ I knew. _Now_ I knew what it meant to go home, to be where I truly belonged, with the one I belonged _with_. Now I understood what love, what acceptance, what sacrifice was. Before, I was deluded-I'd had no idea.

Carlisle was the first to us. He ran, literally sprinted as fast as he could, when he saw us coming, smelled our scent-all bleached out with mud and dirt and death. The others were not far behind, but he was first. No one could keep up with him-not Emmett with his strength, or Alice with her small quickness, or Esme or Rose. No one could run as fast as Carlisle to us.

He crashed into us. We sank to the ground, the three of us huddled as if the cold was too much for us, and we sank to our knees together in a heap. And Carlisle cried, both because Bella and I were together and because he didn't think he'd ever see us again, as Garrett looked on awkwardly.

Soon, we were in the middle of a group, the bottom of a pile of undead bodies, that never seemed to stop, and I wondered how I had ever left them in the first place. How had I _ever _left them?

And then I looked up. The wolves were there, so many more than when we'd left. There were vampires that I knew-Tanya and Eleazar and Jasper's old friend Peter-and those that I didn't, too many faces to try and follow right now. Not when the only ones I cared about at the moment were wrapped all around me.

Still, there were so many vampires, so many so that I didn't understand.

I looked at Carlisle in askance. He clasped the back of my neck and shook me a little, his mind almost to weary and weak and full of joy that he couldn't answer.

"Welcome home, son," he whispered. "_Welcome home_."

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**End Notes: **

Thank you for reading! Each one of you that has gone on this journey with me has a special place in my heart, new and old readers, those who lost hope and gained it back again! Let me know what you think if you get the chance.

See you in Chapter 27, soon.


	27. Chapter 27: A Little Bit Like Ending

**Author's Note:**

Thank you so much for the response to the last chapter. We are so close, folks. So, SO close. Hang on with me. Little bit of enlightenment in this chapter.

**Chapter 27 Playlist Songs: The Call, by Regina Spektor (Part 1); Love Song, by 311 (Part 2/ Ending)**

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine.

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**Chapter 27: A Little Bit Like Ending**

The first thing I did-after the pile of vampires covering had actually released us- was run up to the third story of the house to my room. Esme had put everything back just where it had been, just as it was supposed to be. I knew she would, because it felt so silly now to have tried to leave. Even with Bella's transformation, this was home.

I should have wanted to ask Carlisle questions, find out who all these vampires were, ask what the state of readiness was... form a plan. I should have wanted to prepare, face the fact that we would fight Aro here, in our home, surrounded by comrades. I should have wanted to tell our story, give the many that were waiting for us some kind of hope, or understanding, or inspiration. I should have wanted to lead them, as only I could because of what Bella and I had been through-I should have wanted it all, for retribution, for justice. But my first concern was the little box on the bedside table, all weathered and nearly broken and full of all that I had left of my human life. Bella followed me up and stood in the doorway, just as I knew she would.

I turned around and held out my mothers ring, showing her what I had been so eager to retrieve. She smiled softly at me, a warm and knowing and loving kind of look. I walked over to her where she waited for me and took her hand and slipped the ring on her finger. Then I kissed her knuckles and her wrist and finally her lips.

"Welcome home, Mrs. Masen-Cullen," I whispered. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing so peacefully, and I wanted to believe it was because of my love for her or because of her new name. "I'm sorry that you didn't have this on your finger sooner, and that it wasn't the first thing to grace it."

"No more apologies," she said, brushing over my forehead with the back of her fingers and running over my ear. "It's just as it was always meant to be."

Alice appeared in the doorway behind Bella then, bouncing up and down on the balls of her little feet, unnaturally quicker than a human. The rest of our family members and guests were allowing us a few moments to ourselves-just the two of us, to steady ourselves for what was waiting for us again once our moment was over, what would all come back to us and overwhelm us again-but Alice was too eager, too excited, too full of worry and love, that she couldn't wait another moment to be part of _us_ again. We'd all been apart too long, and our distance was already too terrifying. She was thinking about so much: the future, the present, the short past that she'd not been a part of. She regretted just another separation between us and them.

"I cant believe I missed your wedding," she pouted, mostly for Bella's sake. As her sister, Alice had wanted to be the one to dress her and fix her hair, and help her plan and decorate. She'd wanted to whittle our day out of her own mind and perfect the future that she saw there. It was a part of her personality-not egotistical as some might think, but out of love and selfless giving and joy for her sister-that Alice wanted to make everything perfect.

But she never saw that perfect wedding day in her mind, and she regret it, as if it was a flaw in her gift. As if that day had been in there, somewhere deep and buried, but she'd missed it somehow. I wasn't so sure it ever was, not like she'd hoped.

We'd just let her go, escaped the massive reunion down on the lawn, but I reached over anyway and wrapped my arms around my sister. I needed the contact as much as she. For two vampires who lived in their own head so much of the time, it was funny that we both wanted the physical affirmation of each other's presence.

"It was _because_ of you that we are married now. You _were_ there, Alice."

She smiled up at me and we were joined then by the rest of the family. for just a blink, a small part of me was irritated, because I'd waited so long to have Bella alone in peace, but I willed myself to remember how badly I'd missed them all, how much I worried that we'd never share moments like this. It seemed as if they, too, couldn't handle anymore separation from us. Our moment alone was dissolved, and if I thought Bella and I would have any peace now, any quiet, I was wrong.

Carlisle wanted to see me again with his own eyes, his heart aching from the time that we'd been gone and now with our being back and alive, though he could feel my presence in the house, even two flights below. Esme wanted to look at Bella, gauge the woman she'd become, check on her to see that she was truly okay after everything we'd been through. Emmett wanted the connection back to me and to Bella, because he was feeling as if we'd lost something in all of this-as if we'd changed and he could no longer be himself around us. Jasper was readying the next step, eager to plan and formulate and discuss the best strategy for the difficulties to come. He wanted to know everything about Bella's gift, and all the details pertaining to our escape and our imprisonment. Rose wanted to know what we had gone through-not out of curiosity, but out of anger and guilt-and tell Bella how sorry she was for ever doubting her. Bella _was_ her sister now, unendingly.

I looked at all of them, their eyes focused on us as if they couldn't believe we were actually here. There were so many questions, so many regrets.

"There will be time for all of that," I told them, looking between each of them in turn, "but now we need to figure out what to do. You can start by telling me what all of _that_ is."

I pointed to the floor, down towards the direction of the living room where thirty-some vampires were chattering and speculating and thinking to themselves about our return and what that might mean. It seemed, in our absence, a new sort of alliance had formed, and it was mostly because of us. They'd been there to see our arrival, and since then the din in my head had been nearly too much. It was all-consuming. I hadn't been prepared for it, and was only just beginning to sort it all out.

Outside, too, were more wolves than I could have ever imagined. In the time that we'd been gone, it seemed that the pack had exploded. It had only been two weeks.

"That was Alice," Carlisle said, almost sheepishly, nodding to my sister. His thoughts reflected how surprised her insistence at searching out allies had been. Especially since she'd _not_ had a vision of it. "We are fortunate that she'd been able to help us prepare, at least as far as this. We weren't sure when you'd be back, and we thought it was best to plan for the worst outcome."

Alice's mind was a swirl of activity, visions that she'd used and discarded and put in tidy piles in her brain. There was so much, so much so that I didn't think I could keep up with all of it. She saw us surviving, and not; winning and prevailing, and then falling at the hands of the Volturi and their guard. She saw the eight of us standing alone, and then in the next moment, we were surrounded by all of those who waited below us, standing at our shoulders and waiting for the Volturi to come, vampires and wolves alike. She saw the six of them, _without_ Bella and I, standing and waiting, with grim faces and determined scowls-ones of anger and resentment and sadness that simmered-waiting for the Volturi to emerge and come to them. With us already gone from this world.

Which they _would _do, regardless. The Volturi would definitely come.

"So you got us reinforcements," I surmised. "You knew we'd bring them on our tails."

For a moment, I felt such immense guilt for my decision to come back to them after our escape that I very nearly swayed. But Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed, and I was back again, back to the moment we were in.

_They would have come regardless, son._

"No," Alice said, looking at her shoes. "I didn't _know_ you'd be home. I didn't know that for sure, but we had to do something. We couldn't sit and do _nothing_."

I'd thought that the things I was seeing in Alice's mind were memories, a collection of things Alice had seen based on the decisions Bella and I had made, or even Aro.

But that wasn't it at all.

There was no crystal clear vision in Alice's arsenal, I realized then. She hadn't known that we would decide to come home, that we would escape. Even her vision that she had of our wedding was hazy, as she was showing me now. Alice didn't see what our outcome would be to all of this, who would win and who would loose. She didn't know what our future held, as many times as anyone made a decision. And she hadn't been able to see anything about _our_ fate when we were in Volterra, not one little bit. It was as if we were shrouded.

Alice couldn't see Bella's fate, or in turn, mine.

I looked over at Bella.

"Because of her?" I asked, and Alice nodded.

"I think so. I'm starting to believe it more and more."

"That is our theory, anyway," Jasper said. He was holding Alice's hand and rubbing soft circles on it, as if she needed the calming. I saw how hard it had been for her, from Jasper's mind, how uncertain she'd been through all of this. This was new territory for Alice.

"She blocks you too," I said softly, realizing that Bella's gift had been keeping Alice out. This whole time, Alice hadn't been able to see Bella: as a human, as a vampire, and now as my mate and wife.

"I think the only reason I can see her sometimes is because of _you_," Alice said. "It's why I didn't see her discovering us, or becoming a vampire. Until you decided to come home the route you did, and you encountered her on the road, she never even came up on my radar. If you wouldn't have, I never would have noticed her, even if she was a vampire some other way. I think her future is _so_ twisted with yours that when I can see you, I can see a part of her, at least the part that is tied with you. But not always. I mean, I loose _you_ sometimes too. You're fate _is_ hers."

It made more sense now than I ever imagined it could. I looked down at Bella. She was tucked into my arms, and I couldn't remember her moving to me during our family conversation, wrapping up beneath me, safely. I couldn't remember that moment, but it was what was right, like a natural thing for her to be touching me at all times, the only way I felt truly whole. I already _knew_ that Bella's fate was connected to mine, not from some existential force, but because there would be nowhere she would go that I wouldn't follow. She and I were connected, and I think we always had been, even before either of us knew it.

I was meant to find her, in just this way.

"If you couldn't see the outcome to all of this," I asked, "why are there dozens of vampires waiting for us in our living room?"

"Call it a woman's intuition," Alice sighed. Esme reached over and squeezed her hand. "A gut feeling. I still don't see a steady resolution, even with you home."

"So, we are flying blind here," I said.

"Yes," Carlisle said sadly, "we are. We figured, eventually, they would come. One way or another."

With or without Bella and I. _That's _what he meant.

* * *

I was bombarded the moment our feet hit the landing, both by thoughts and bodies. Tanya and Kate threw their arms around both Bella and I, hugging us tightly. I stiffened, but to Bella's credit, she took it in stride.

"We are so glad you are alive," Kate said, kissing my cheek before both her and Tanya let go. She took Bella's hands in her own and squeezed, giving her a wink and a genuine smile. "We hear congratulations are in order too."

For a moment, I felt the pull of jealousy, tugging at my brain, from the sisterly kiss that Kate planted. But it was not from Tanya or even Bella that I felt it, but from across the room. My eyes locked with Garrett's and he looked away as quickly as his vampire ability would allow, thinking of trivial things over and over, like the color of the carpet and his boots' laces. It caused me a moment of pause, this fleeting feeling of want that was new but still so familiar. Interesting.

"Thank you for being here," I told them both, as the rest of the Denali clan came to greet us in the same way. Eleazar scrutinized her as Carmen wrapped Bella up in her arms like a surrogate mother, whispering Spanish endearments in gratitude for our return. They all knew about the suffering that she'd felt at Aro's hands-they'd been there since right after we left-and they were thankful for our survival, even if we were not who we'd been when we'd left.

I shook Eleazar's hand, and looked out over their shoulders to all the eyes behind them. There was so much energy in the room, so many questions that needed to be asked and answered, so many minds to convince and nerves to settle. I walked into the middle of the room and let my eyes train on all the faces that were new, and all those I knew from memories, both mine and my families'.

We were introduced, by our family and by our friends, to those that had come to help us. There were different reasons for their involvement: a loyalty to Carlisle, or Jasper; a hatred of the Volturi; some came because they wanted to see it, be a witness to it all, a sick curiosity; some came for selfish reasons, or because they simply didn't believe the rumors about Aro and about us. But they were there, and they had come to know our our family in the days that we'd been gone. And all of this became more than what it had been to each of them when they arrived.

There was a quiet respect among all of them, a mutual determination in each of them that staggered me and that connected all of us. Some of them had become friends, some were only tolerating each others company. Some wanted peace, and others turmoil, in the wake of whatever would happen here. But they all were willing to stand: to witness, to survey, to frighten... to fight, if thats what it took.

Some had come and gone. There had been visitors who had come to see, but who were not willing to stay and die for a cause that had nothing to do with them. This was the natural way for those of our kind. The world around them shifted-it was how the order of things worked when time meant little-and their lives were _watching_ everything change around them like spectators. I saw these other vampires in our guests' and families' memories, those that had not wanted to be part of all of this.

These were the ones who were left: the Cullen family, now again eight; the Denali clan, five. There was Garrett, and Jasper's old friend Peter, his mate Charlotte, and their companions Alexa and Samuel; there were a handful of nomads-Alistair, Makenna and her mate Charles, Mary, and Randall and Timothy and Sarah, who had come because they had heard the rumors; Carlisle's old friend Siobhan brought her coven, Liam and Maggie; there were vampires from Egypt, an ancient coven of four; The Romanians came, both old rulers who wished for nothing more than the demise of the Volturi; Zafrina, Senna, and Kachiri were there, having agreed to come only because it was Carlisle doing the asking.

Thirty-seven in total. Thirty-seven vampires to stand against the whole of the Volturi guard, a force to be reckoned with, even with potentially fewer numbers. Their talents gave them the advantage, even if we would have had thrice as many standing behind us.

My heart soared and swelled at the sight of all of them there-at their willingness for us, for our family, and for the injustice of Aro's rule-but then plummeted to the ground in desperation, knowing that, while we may have had more bodies, we were no match for Aro and his collection of talents.

We told our story, the long, drawn out drama of it, both Bella and I, and they listened, soaking it all in to varying degrees. It didn't matter why they stayed-just that they _did_. Even after all of it-Aro's torture, the fact that Bella had no control over her talent, the fact that in some ways we'd failed-they stayed, not a single one of them rising to leave. It was enough. But not even close to enough at the same time.

"Thank you for being here, for staying, no matter your reasons," I said to the crowd. "But the fight will come. There is no way Aro will sit back and let this rest. We've made a fool of him, I think. Made a mess."

"Aro can kiss our arses," Liam shouted. A few vampires chuckled and whooped and hollered in agreement.

"We may not survive," I told them honestly. My voice sounded far away.

"We've been living a long time," Garrett said, thinking of all the things he wished he hadn't seen in his life. "If I am going to end, it might as well be taking down some of Aro's goons. Assholes."

Siobhan came up and placed her hand on my arm. She smiled warmly at me, and then at Bella, and winked at Carlisle.

"We've already _heard_ this all, _a leanbh_. All the warnings and apologies and stories about how this could go. We are here anyway, with the knowledge we might not do anything else after."

"We are grateful," I told her.

"We all are," Carlisle added.

"Besides," Siobhan added, "We are waiting around for a reception after. Can't miss that. Little Alice has promised it will be worth our while."

* * *

The leaves crunched beneath my feet, all dead and fallen and matted-broken from patrols and hunting groups and the pack. Jacob was in front of me a ways, his paws making the earth shake just a little. He was in wolf form, both because he couldn't look me in the eyes, standing as a man, and because he wanted the support of his pack, as we talked away from the house.

I left Bella there, in the large group of vampires who were doing everything they could to help her with her gift. It was interesting to listen to them all, their reservations and excitement about the potential of her talents. _What she could be! _some of them thought-and then there were others, more cynical ones, who thought it was such a waste.

Tomorrow, she and her temperamental and frightening gift could be gone.

She'd very nearly run to Jacob Black when she'd seen him finally, rushed to him like the girl that she had once been. I could hear in his thoughts how much he still loved her, still wanted her to be that warm-blooded, breathing girl that he knew. He remembered her that way, and for just a second, she was not a vampire or my mate. She was 98.6 degrees and still slept at night. It didn't bother me as much now, seeing her through his eyes, even with the haze of love that covered it- of _course_ he loved her. How could he not?

But at the last moment, he'd shied away from her vampire strength and her speed as she became clear to him again, and his pack had growled at her advances because they didn't understand that it was out of affection that she ran to him. And so she froze, a meter away from him with her hands outstretched.

He loved her, but he didn't really want her to touch him. Not anymore, not like that. It was too much for his heart to bear.

There would never be that affection between them again, never hugs around his neck or caresses of rusty fur. That was not meant for him and her. He had buried her weeks ago, and the only thing that keep him near was the bittersweet memories of his love for her and his obligation to his people. He was happy to see her, but only to a point.

And as she realized this, I watched her face to see her mourn the lost relationship that had once been so important to them both. She'd been naive before, thinking they could be what they had been before. At that moment, she realized that she couldn't. I watched them both break a little more. It hurt me, even though the breaking of her heart was for him.

She didn't ask to come along, when I told her that I needed to talk to Jacob Black and his pack. She only kissed me and told me to hurry back to her.

Jacob stopped ahead of me, and looked of his hairy shoulder, bringing me back to the task at hand.

_Can't you keep up, bloodsucker?_

I laughed, both from the irony of it, and because I could hear his distain in his voice as it mixed with quiet reverence. He knew-had heard from sitting on the edge of the house, waiting-that we'd survived, that we knew of Bella's gift and how it almost-worked, that she'd endured so much suffering. He knew that it was the both of us together that had brought us home. That I had been the reason she returned, and she, me. That she was my mate and my non-blushing bride.

"Thank you," I told him, letting him know that I understood what it was for him to be here, waiting for a threat to my family.

_I'm not doing it for you,_ he thought.

"I know," I said. "You are protecting the land, the people of Forks."

He nodded and thought about his reservation and all of the inhabitants, and Bella's father.

"And you are doing it for _her_," I said softly. I was pushing him, edging him, and he bristled. "So thank you."

_She's not my duty to protect anymore, _he thought, and his mind peaked with hurt that radiated from the center of his chest.

"No," I admitted. "She is not. But since she is _mine_, I still owe you my gratitude."

I no longer wanted to kill him, but I _am_ a man, and she _was _mine.

We were at an impasse, he and I. I no longer felt the sting of jealousy towards him as I had before I knew she was my mate-Bella was mine in every way. I no longer wanted to tear him apart for the way he remembered her, because she wasn't that girl anymore. She was changed, for better or for worse, she was not Jacob's Bella Swan, girl who wasn't right in her own skin. She was _my _Bella, woman who could fight and survive, and who just _was_. Radiant and dangerous and broken-pieced-back-together. We would have been fighting for two different people entirely. I had no fight left for him anymore, nor he for me.

One was gone, the other a grander, greater replacement.

"We are facing a greater threat than you can ever imagine," I told him, sensing a parallel shift in him. He know longer wanted to be reminded of Bella and all her changes-as woman, wife, warrior.

_I've gathered that,_ he snarked. The wolves were listening intently. _Tell us._

And so I did. I told him about Jane and her pain, and Alec and his mist, and Demetri's desire to possess Bella's body and soul. I told him of Felix's strength, and Santiago's quiet, hidden intelligence that he would use against us. I told him about Renata and the way she protected Aro, and of Marcus' ability to see the bonds in people-how Chelsea could tear them away like crepe paper ribbon. And I told them about Caius and his disgusting lust for torture and Aro's hatred of my father and of us, and the way that he disguised himself as something he was not.

_They don't know about us? _he finally questioned, after I was done.

"No," I told him. "We didn't let him know about you and the pack."

He thought about it for a while, let the pack mull it over. They'd been as prepped as much as Carlisle could, prepared to defend their homes and their land from these intruders. They'd been warned and cautioned and educated by my father and my siblings. And they'd been patient as more vampires arrived, causing more and more shifts in their young men and women. There was some distention among them, those that feared this new threat and didn't want to face it for those that were meant to be their enemies-for _us._

But it was Jacob's choice, so when he nodded, and accepted it, they had no choice but to follow.

Because even though she was gone, he wouldn't ever let Bella die again if he could prevent it.

"Thank you," I whispered to this furry man-child who was planning on helping keep my love alive. He ignored me.

"They will not be expecting you," I said, "but they will not be merciful. There is a chance that you will lose some."

_We know the risk. We have a plan. We are prepared._

I gave him that moment, believed him as much as I was able, though I wasn't positive that he truly understood the dangers. I didn't know if even _I_ knew the dangers. There were so many uncertainties, and already I was practical bout our chances. We walked back in silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts-of love, of loss, and of redemption. I had mine; he had his.

"I'll tell you one thing," I told him, as the house came into view. Bella's head shot in our direction at our arrival. She smiled softly at me for just a fraction of a moment before casting her eyes away from Jacob in regret. "They wont know what to make of you."

_Good, _he thought, staring at Bella with his own kind of regret.

_Maybe we are exactly what you need._

* * *

We had until dawn. The Volturi were coming then, a decision that had nothing to do with Bella and I, so Alice could see it. She was delighted at he return of her gift, though it didn't help us for the morning. She knew _when _they would come, but not what would happen once they arrived. Carlisle was right, though. they'd have come whether we were there or not. We'd only beat them here by a day, not even. They were coming, and no vision of Alice's could change it. It was written in stone-hard, agonizing stone.

Despite, the "Motley Crew"-as Emmett was now calling our mismatched group-were in jovial spirits. As I had earlier surmised, new bonds had formed, even throughout the day. Garrett had written off all need for any kind of payback on my part for the trip here and his assistance, now fully consumed with Kate. I'd watched them for a while, as they sat talking and laughing to only each other, glad that I could have helped bring him to her, even though it was not any of my doing, but the universe, and though it might have been short-lived. Everyone deserved to feel love, even just a little. Even for just a moment. I'd never understood before.

The rest of them were joking, and telling stories of their exploits, and fighting and teasing the wolves, who were giving it right back. And for a moment, it didn't feel like the world was ending. It felt like there was hope, even if it was temporary.

It was dark, the moon was full, but that wasn't stopping anyone. We weren't settling. Perhaps, we were just all trying to forget that the daylight might mean our demise. It was supposed to be cloudy tomorrow, the sun cast over like a dream.

Bella was up in my room. She wasn't part of the revelry anymore. She'd retired to the solitude of the house long ago, too tired or burdened or overwhelmed to stay on the lawn. She'd made her way to each of our family members, showed them her love and thankfulness, each in the way that would mean the most to them-Esme as her now-mother, Alice as her sister soulmate, Emmett as her big brother, Carlisle as the father who'd taken the role that she missed the most, and as the man who'd shaped me. Then, she greeted the new faces, thanked them for everything that they were willing too risk.

But now she was taking the time for herself, and for me. And I couldn't leave her waiting any longer.

I made my way inside the house, taking in every detail-the lighting as it bounced off the walls, the flowers that Esme had placed because it was how she dealt with her own turmoil, the books that Carlisle and Jasper poured over for the weeks we were gone. I measured each step, carefully felt the padding beneath my feet on each rise.

Bella was siting on the floor of my room, her legs tucked underneath her. She was looking through the album that Esme had given her, when she'd asked for it earlier. It felt like a century ago that we had looked at it together in the quiet of the afternoon sun, flipping thorough photos of days gone by. She looked up and smiled at me when I came in and sat down next to her, but it didn't touch her eyes.

"So many memories," she whispered. "So much that you can't see, just from photographs."

I didn't say anything, but sat closely next to her, letting her look and linger as I surrounded her with my presence. I knew there was more to this than just the photographs.

"I never really pictured my life in terms of future," she said softly, "never imagined what could have been. I never thought, '_Gosh, I'd like to be married and have a family, and take family photos together._'"

Her voice broke a little. She turned to me, discarding he album and climbing into my lap, wrapping herself around me.

"It's not enough, Edward," she whispered, and the air caught in her throat. I pulled her to me and held her there, as much as I could and as tightly as I was able. It was likely the first time that I didn't misinterpret her words, that I didn't think she was criticizing the life we'd suddenly made together. Because she _wasn't._ It just _wasn't_ enough.

"It's not enough," she cried again. "I want years and decades and centuries. I want to dance with you in the moonlight and kiss you on every continent. I want you to make love to me in the mountains and in the ocean and in the middle of a blizzard. And I want a family-yours and mine and ours. I want to grow old with you, even though no one will ever know we are doing it. _Until dawn_ is not long enough."

I kissed her softly, let her know with my lips that I wanted that too, that "until dawn" wasn't enough for me either.

"There will be more," I told her, and I wondered if I wasn't lying to her, just a little. "Maybe not here, maybe not like this. But _some_where else. Somewhere completely different. No one can separate you from me, Bella. I belong _to_ you, _with_ you, _because_ of you."

She looked up at me, and I could see how weary she was. I could see it in her eyes, I could see it in her lips and fingers and in the rise of her chest. All day, she'd been trying to perfect her gift, trying but not succeeding with it, no matter who tried to help her. We'd been so lucky in the past, but who knew if the luck could hold out. There was no guarantee that her gift would protect us anymore. Maybe it wasn't meant to. And she knew that as surely as I did. Hope only lasted so long, until it ran dry like a well that wasn't replenished.

"There is _no_where, in this universe or the next," I whispered against her lips, "That can keep me from being with you. You are as much a part of me as my own mind and soul. You _are_ my soul, Bella."

I kissed her with parted lips and tactile tongues, loving the way that she melted into me, just one more piece of evidence that it was so true.

"Love me," she wept.

And since there was nothing I would deny her no matter what was happening outside our door, I kissed her. I stripped her of her clothes, and in the dark, I loved her, slowly, gently, but soundly. The moonlight shown in through the tall windows, bathing us in the subtle shadows of nighttime, making her skin glow radiant white-pink. She swallowed up my sighs and moans as I swallowed hers, because we couldn't be further apart than we were in those hours before the sun rose, totally and fully aligned and connected-our lips and hands and chests and hips, all joined and unyielding. I loved her as much as my body would allow.

As if I were loving her for the last time.

Darkness lightened, the sky turned a hazy, muted gray, all overcast. We rose from the floor and dressed, pulling on clothes as slowly as time would allow. We didn't speak but we never stopped touching either. She and I would not lose that physical connection.

Beneath us, the mood had turned, shifted slightly from electrified energy to acceptance, determination. There were few words spoken, even between mates, replaced with careful touches and reassurances. Hushed conversations among small groups floated like the wind over the lawn. It was as if we were trying to maintain the quiet peace as much as possible, the carefully-crafted stillness of the morning, as if a word might shatter it, break it before it's time.

We gathered on the lawn, waiting, watching the trees, as the sun rose somewhere far away, just before our horizon, somewhere behind milky white clouds and rain. The earth smelled of newness, but the air was dank. Bella's hand was twisted tightly in mine, where I knew it would stay until we had no other choice.

In the shadows on the edge of the forest, too far for a human to see, a lone figure emerged. The crowd tensed, readying themselves for what they surmised was the first scout sent to take us down. He walked slowly, one step in front of the other, a determined, resentful gait.

Because I could hear him, in his mind that was racing and questioning and thinking, I knew what his intentions were. I smiled to myself. Carlisle stepped forward and shielded Esme, but I put my hand on his shoulder to steady him. I shook my head at his questioning glare.

Slowly, I walked forward, and Bella with me. We left the rest of them behind. She knew, too, somehow. I knew it, though we hadn't exchanged words. Like an envoy, two sides in parlay to gamble the battle at hand, meeting in the middle, we approached. But that was not what this was. This was a man who'd lost it all, and he needed a reason to fight.

If for no other reason than to die.

I extended my hand, already knowing what was in his mind, what was in what was left of his heart. And I nodded at him, because there was no other place where he could be on this day. His own bonds were broken, and they aligned with anyone that wasn't with Aro.

"Marcus," I whispered. "Welcome."

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**End Notes: **

Are you like, "WHAT?! WHAAAATTT?!" =D Let me know what you think if you are so inclined. Thanks for reading, love you all. Next chapter to post soon. We are so close.


	28. Chapter 28: Breaking Down, Broken Arrow

**Author's Note:**

Thank you so much for all amazing responses to the last chapter! I am blown away, and no matter what I say, it's not enough to thank all of you for being excited with me and reading with anticipation... No pressure or anything, though. _Jeesh!_ I hope it lives up to the expectations.

Just a heads up, there's some gore. Lets get ready to rumble, shall we?

**Chapter 28 Playlist Song: _Uninvited, _by Alanis Morissette (Part 1); _Come Undone_, by Duran Duran (Part 2)**

**Disclaimer: **All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended. The plot for Entwined is mine. Badass Bella and her kick-ass talent is mine. =)

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**Chapter 28: Breaking Down, Broken Arrow**

Dawn broke in misty, muted grey all over the field that we framed. Clouds blocked out the sunlight that rose from the eastern sky and let loose a constant wetness that was not quite rain. It was like existing underwater, breathing in droplets of miniature molecules that hung like crystals all around us in the already-damp air.

We waited, all of us watching the tree line where Marcus had emerged, quiet. Had we all needed oxygen, our breaths would have been held until we could not longer exist without opening and gulping. As it was, though, only the wolves—too-young boys and girls that had no idea what was to come from the east—struggled with their anxiety, pawed the ground with impatience and whimpered at the churning in their furry bellies.

There had been discontent when Marcus had come. We walked back together, Bella and Marcus and me, and the vampires had grown cautious and the wolves nearly revolted. I didn't blame them, of course—this was one of _them _who joined our ranks, our enemy, and one of them whom Bella and I had told them about. But I could see into his mind, and I could read the pure regret in him, the desperate agony of loss and betrayal, the way that his tie was severed from his murderous ex-brother. There was no alliance there any longer, regardless of their past.

Marcus' robes were dirtier than I'd ever imagined a Volturi's clothes could be, muddied from travel and rumpled from sitting so long and arriving here. His skin was still so pale and papery, like tissue, and his eyes were more dead than I'd ever seen, even as he had sat with disinterest on his throne in Volterra. But there was still a spark of fire in them, the look of a man who was crazy from his loss, who had no one and nothing left to live for.

Carlisle was the first to step forward, accept Marcus' arm as if he was a frail old man—which he _was_, of course—but only after I assured him with my eyes that he should and could. He didn't question my decision, even in his mind, though he had every right. This was _his _home and _his _family, and I'd already done so many things wrong. But he trusted me, because he was my father.

"Marcus," he said, clasping his hand and pulling him in to what was now our fold. "We can't tell you how much it means that you are here. Welcome, brother."

Marcus' eyes glossed over for a moment, and I realized then that it had been so long since the ancient vampire had felt any real emotion. Aro had kept him numb for so long he'd forgotten what it was like. My father's hand on his was like burning fire and shattering cold to him, a broken man that had been senseless for centuries, who was only just beginning to feel again. This was too much for him. He stared at his hand like it was a foreign body, which I supposed it was, and his mind wobbled back and forth between despair to unbelief to resoluteness to joy at being accepted somewhere else that wasn't malevolent and cold stone-walled.

He nodded at Carlisle, but didn't say anything.

The rest of our group was slow to accept his presence, because they didn't know what we did and didn't see the genuine alignment with our side.

But then, they didn't understand how _much_ Marcus had lost since Bella and I had left him with Aro and his history of lies.

They didn't know that he would rather die than see Aro live any longer with his crimes on his sleeve like a scarlet letter.

So there we all stood, surrounded like the mist by our fears and doubts and anxiousness. Bella was at my right side, tethered to me. I could feel her ring in the space between my ring finger and my pinkie, and it grounded me. She was still and serene, listening like the rest of us. Waiting.

Beside her was Marcus, watching and waiting, too. Carlisle was on my left, and then Esme, and then Alice and Jasper and Emmett and Rose, and behind us were the rest of those who were brave enough to stay. The wolves were at the back, sunk low into the long, wet grass and the mud, waiting until they were given the signal—until they could surprise our enemies.

It felt like the end, like the last stand.

"It won't be long now," Marcus said, his slow lazy drawl still managing to sound as if he were imprisoned by Corin's numbing power.

Marcus had given me more information, about the time between now and when Bella and I had escaped. Though Marcus had been preoccupied and consumed with discovering the truth of Didyme's death, he knew the basics of what Aro had been planning. He hadn't pursued us right away, mainly because he was arrogant, and hadn't felt it necessary to chase us down. Aro never expected us to elude him for long, because he had all his acquired talents and all of his brute force and all of his collected fear. _No one could escape me_, he reasoned. He was too old and too feared to hunt and pursue and make haste.

Demetri could not track us—Bella's power had held us steady and safe for the most part—but he was in no hurry to come find us regardless. Aro planned to attack our home right from the start, a tactical move that would hit us where it hurt us most, whether we were there or not. He wanted Carlisle to pay, because he chose a life that was not Aro's and because he was more than content in it. and he wanted me to pay, for having Bella and creating her and then not giving her to him. It would either have been _us _he was attacking, or it would bring us to him again. Either way, he felt no rush, no time clipping at his heels. Not after centuries of having his way.

And in the end, he fully _intended_ to have his way—to take Bella back with him after he'd destroyed all of us.

He took his time. Just as I had wondered, he collected his minions, organized his travel plans, simmered in his anger until there was nothing left but to hunt us down and make us suffer.

And he was now coming, to Forks, to my family, and to all of us waiting for redemption and retribution.

Five thousand beats of a human heart. The earth very nearly began to wake. The sun rose higher, still invisible to us, but shielding it's eyes in careful disinterest, casting shadows through the wet morning. I closed my eyes and breathed in, feeling the weight of the moisture in the air as it coated my useless lungs, my tongue, and my teeth. I felt Bella's hand in mine, noted her presence as more than just a body beside me, but as though she was just an extension of my own. I listened to all of their thoughts—Garrett, who knew that this could be his last stand, but did so out of his own obligation to the human life he'd once lived and to Kate, whose hand was now in his; and the one called Benjamin, who surveyed the rocks around the field and the water hanging in the air and the fire that he could conjure with careful patience and consideration—and I pushed it away so all that was left was my father's and my mother's and my brothers' and sisters'.

But not my love's, because she was still so quiet to me.

She wasn't even trying to block Demetri anymore.

"Let them come," she whispered against the still and steady morning.

Let them come, indeed.

* * *

The fog was thick along the tree line, but we could all still see them as they emerged from the shadows. They were like shadows themselves, all dark and fluid and inhuman. They hardly made a sound, but the world was so still around them as they moved—as if all the creatures around had held their breath as they passed by them— that it was almost as if we could hear every movement: of their cloaks and their feet on the ground, and their aggression.

I could hear them all in my head, even from so far away.

The din in my skull was nearly deafening, full of hatred and blinding fury and fear and readiness and impatience. The approaching group was full of purpose, a uniform objective that stemmed only from Aro. They were angry and full of murderous vengeance—for having to have come all this way for one foolish girl, for having been made fools of themselves—but they didn't waver, because their free will was gone and their goal was visible in front of them.

_Spare the girl, _they'd been ordered. _Destroy the rest that stood in her way._

We were not like them, not fully united, because we were fighting for different things, though we still wanted the same freedoms. We were one force, but not. We were like-minded, but would never really be. We all wanted the same outcome, but we were not together on how to get there. And in the end, we wanted to live, but not for the same reasons. At least we were allowed to _have_ our own reasons, though. That alone made it enough.

The vampires behind me were anxious and wondering, strong and steady, and eager for all of it to start. We'd spent too many minutes, hours, days, lifetimes waiting for this, and now it was happening. To my right, Bella faced the emerging group and didn't waver, but her hand squeezed mine tightly as if to say, _I'm here. I'm ready. I'm frightened._

Carlisle was praying for a peaceful resolution, praying that he didn't lose us when he'd only just gotten us back. And there was Esme, who was already itching to level those that had caused so much turmoil in her family. Jasper was thinking tactically and Alice was searching, always searching, and Rose was angry and Emmett was too eager. And all the others had their own fears and wants and prayers and anger boiling inside them against the black-cloaked army of devils that were marching slowly toward us.

Marcus was blank and thinking of everything, all at once. His ancient mind was so, so tired. Marcus had nothing left but to fight. His reasons were not ours, but still felt familiar. His reasons were so much like mine it frightened me._ Is he who _I_ would be, _I wondered, _if I lose her today?_

I could not follow that train of thought any more, and so I listened to those around us to avoid listening to my own fears.

The wolves couldn't see them yet, their bellies hovering just over the ground, but they could smell the new vampires and it took all their restraint to heel and contain their assault, to calm their beating hearts and curb the whimpering in their throats that threatened their plan. The youngest of them inched forward, and struggled to tame their excitement. Foolish pups.

Across the tall grasses of the field that ran between the Cullen house and the creek-bed and the tree line—long, dead blades that crackled when the wind blew through them—shadows stretched like Death—too long and dark as nightmares, too reaching, angled crookedly and menacingly— with each measured footstep. Their movement was so controlled and precise and slow, that time seemed to stand still in the space between us.

One foot and then the other brought Aro closer to Bella, and it caused the hair on my arms and the back of my neck to stand tall.

We had no idea what would happen, and we were putting so much on her shoulders. I wished I could take it all away from her. But I couldn't. It was our lot in this life together. She was our greatest hope.

Aro was at the front, their leader, and Caius was a his right. Behind them was the whole guard and their mates and so many whose names I didn't know and whose faces I'd not seen but in a brief moment in Alice's mind. There were dozens of them, vampires from all over who'd been lied to and who'd been threatened and who had come out of allegiance to a fake king and kingdom. And they wavered now, in their decision to stand behind Aro, seeing all of us here waiting.

We knew they were coming—both Alice and I had seen it when she knew the Volturi would be coming at dawn—but it didn't stop the quick tremor that ran through our whole group at the sight of them. We'd prepared them for this, but no matter what, they'd never have been ready for the actual sight of them, black-robed and solid like a wall, loyal to a madman's whims. The Volturi numbered forty-eight, so close to our numbers but still so many more because of the talents that Aro had. My heart fell, listening to the shaking subconciences behind me, as little pebbles of hope fell away from them. The blackness stopped, one-hundred yards in front of us and stood there as the silence pierced the air, and the raucous turmoil of all of their minds blanketed me in my own kind of chaos.

"Well look at this," Aro said. Despite the watery haze and the distance between us, he didn't need to raise his voice. He was smiling. I could see the glint off his too-white teeth and his rice-paper skin, and it looked as if he glowed in the muted light of the barely-there morning. "Am I interrupting a _party_?"

He laughed, but it was not full of mirth, but vengeful hatred for everything. He already knew why there were so many there with us, and he despised me for it—_Carlisle _for it—because we didn't need to command anyone to join us as he did. And if I didn't know Aro better, perhaps I could have mistaken his intensity for a hint of fear, seeing so many that might stand in front of him beside us and against him. But Aro did not fear us. He looked at Alec and then Jane and smiled with real, giddy pleasure.

"And Marcus, my brother!" Aro snorted. "You didn't tell me you had other plans today. I've missed you in our little traveling entourage."

Marcus' chest tightened, and I swam in the memories of his Didyme, times when he hadn't been so weak and used. His body did not mimic the pain that seemed to radiate from the center of him. He felt betrayal, but not really from Aro anymore—that part of him had already accepted this—but from _himself_ for not seeing the truth for so long and for allowing it and for staying.

"You do not want me standing with you, Aro," he drawled, so devoid of life that I wondered if he would truly be of help us at all in the end, or if he would simply die from his broken-heartedness. "It would not be beneficial for either of us."

"Because of Didyme?!" He laughed, and it stung at Marcus' arms and legs and in his skull. "She was weak! I did you a favor!"

"And I will see one done to you, by the end of this day!" Marcus said, through his gritted teeth and burning venom.

Aro contemplated this for a moment. He did not take the threat to heart, of course, but for a very brief moment, _he _hurt at the fact that Marcus was not standing beside him. Aro pitied him, but he'd stood at his side for so long, Aro missed his presence. But not enough to stop, or to keep from killing him, if that's what it came to. He even thought of Marcus' head, separated from his body, and accepted it.

"Enough of this! You know what I've come for," he said, his face contorted into a grimace. Of course I knew what he wanted. We all did. Her name was permeating his very pores, eking out of his mind like a sieve. He had no intention of leaving this place without her. "Give me the girl, and we'll leave quietly."

Lies. So many lies. Is this the world that he lived in, because he had been the only one to see the whole truth for so long?

I was so angry, so full of fury that I could barely see my hand in front of me from the blindness it caused. Carlisle reached forward and placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed just a little. It focused me enough to allow a growl. I sank low and pulled Bella with me. Her fingers tightened.

"She is staying with us, Aro," Carlisle said. "You've wasted the trip." My father was so brave to push at Aro, to tease him and make him the butt of a joke. I smiled, despite the hostility that coursed through Aro and through me.

Aro laughed, placing his powdered hand on his belly and throwing his head back.

"Really?" he guffawed and scoffed. "Really, Carlisle? You don't seem to understand things, do you? If you don't send her to me, I will _destroy you_."

"Then we will go down together, Aro," Carlisle whispered.

Aro was so angry at my father's hushed words that he screamed. His body wracked with electricity, a surge that stemmed from the deepest part of his dead heart. And all around him, his guard and his witnesses and his puppets buzzed with the energy that came out of him. His loathing and animosity seemed to breathe with life and it ignited them.

Alec was calm with quiet acceptance. Renata, too, standing guard by her master, and Chelsea, who was ready to act and sever ties with the flick of a wrist. But Jane, and Demetri, and Caius and so many more all stirred and sparked and couldn't sit still with anticipation and greed for death. They wanted to pounce at us, were nearly crazy with it, and though none of them, save Caius, would speak against Aro, they all ached to attack, to stop the banter and set fire to the field in front of them and splatter it with our bodies.

The wolves rose up then, bringing themselves to full height behind us. I smiled as the Volturi shirked away from them, these massive wolves that were obviously supernatural in nature. Aro's eyes widened. A small handful of the witnesses left, turned around and exited the way they came, unwilling to put their lives in the hands of even Aro. Jane's chest heaved with confusion as she looked from the wolves to her master. Caius trembled with fear, fear that he disguised well as disgust, but I could hear the thrumming in his mind that was like a human heartbeat, intense and numbing. He very nearly shook.

"Treason!" Aro shouted above the developing murmur of the crowd around him, who no longer remained silent. For just a second, just a blink of an eye, there was dissension. But Aro roared again and quieted them. "Do you see? How they align themselves with our natural enemies?"

As if he needed to prove his reasons. As if he cared anymore about justice or propriety or formality.

"Kill them," he whispered, nodding to Alec. "Kill them all."

I looked over at Bella, and she looked at me. Our hands were slotted together, tightly, palm-to-palm, just as every other couple that was behind us: Carlisle and Esme, and Rose and Em, and Garrett and Kate and Carmen and Eleazar. Twisted and twined and unwilling to let go.

Bella closed her eyes tightly, so tightly that her face contorted. She gripped my hand so forcefully that a few weeks ago, with her newborn strength, she might have crushed the stone-like bones in it. Her lips parted, and she breathed, deep inhalations that drew watery droplets into her.

Alec advanced slowly, his hand in front of him. Like a milky mist, his power seeped over the earth in front of him, a silky fog that blanketed the grass and the earth, and leveled at his ankles.

_Succumb_, his mind whispered. _Sleep. Die._

I watched with wide eyes as each blade of grass wilted under Alec's power. Tiny shoots that were trying to survive the wet Washington winter, gave up and browned. Small beetles that twitched in the field fell the moment the mist touched them. The dew dried and the wind stilled and stopped its churning.

And I watched helpless as it drew nearer.

Bella was shielding. I could feel it wrapped around me tightly, holding me to her and her erratic talent. I knew that she would not let me go, would not let Alec's mist assault me, just as surely as I knew that her hand was in mine. But the others were not yet surrounded by her gift.

"Watch out!" I yelled.

But what could I do to protect all of them? What could I say that would calm the fear that bellied in them? It was only Bella that could protect them, and Alice could see nothing of whether or not Bella would be able to in the moments before the mist reached us. I couldn't offer them guarantees or solace or even help.

We backed away, just a little. I pulled Bella with me, as she kept her eyes closed and her lips open and breathy. But there was no where to go where Alec's power could not touch us.

_Stay strong,_ my father thought. _Stay strong, son. Believe._

The mist touched my feet. It swirled around the toes of my boots, and Bella's. It tugged at me, and for a moment, I was almost sleepy, like I could have wanted to lie down and close my eyes, but it passed faster than a blink, in less than a breath. The feeling fell away from me, snapped back like a tightly wound string, and in the end, I had more energy and resolve than before. The mist swayed around me, passed me and Bella, and reached out to the others like a grasping, quivering hand. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I looked at Aro, at the whites of his eyes and the blood in his pupils and the smile on his sadistic face, and I heard in his mind that he knew this was how it would work. He knew that Bella would innately protect me, and he knew that she and I would be the only ones left alert and attentive to his devastation. I hated that he could put me in this position again, a man watching while he made those I love suffer. This had been his plan all along, to make me watch this. I could have fought, because I was immune as long as Bella was my shield, but it would mean leaving her undefended and alone. And he knew I would not do that. It was the two of us against the whole army of Aro's.

I watched out of the corner of my eye, as Charlotte fell. Jane was holding her hand out, crushing Peter's mate from the inside with her mind. Peter, next to her, did not move, did not blink. There was nothing he could do, stuck in his place by Alec's mist. He didn't even know, didn't even feel or think or realize that his love was suffering. He didn't even care, because he had no care left in him. Their minds were all blank.

"Bella!" I yelled, because it was the only thing I could think to do. She was shielding me, pushing back on Alec's power and keeping me safe, but she was not keeping the rest of them safe. Her talent had not spread any further than me, and I didn't understand, because I needed her to shield them. I _needed _it, and so did she. And her talent wasn't working when she needed it, like it was supposed to. Her talent was failing. The rest of them had succumbed to his talent and were immovable and unprotected.

Alice and Jasper and my father, Esme and Emmett and Rose—and all the rest of our group—were still and blank, like their bodies no longer housed anything. Bella was protecting me, because her hand was in mine, but she was not protecting the rest of them, and the Volturi were drawing closer. Bella was supposed to shield us. That had been the plan all along. The plan was failing before it even began.

"Bella!" I yelled again. Her eyes were closed tightly and her lips were moving but not making noise. Her lips spoke a silent language I didn't know as Charlotte continued to writhe in pain, the only one of them who was feeling anything. But she didn't really know that she was suffering from inside her brain. I could feel it, though, almost more than her. She screamed in reaction and shook in its intensity.

Jane's head tilted from side to side, enjoying the way that Charlotte's body twitched and contorted on the ground. I was alone in the world, watching as Bella chanted and Charlotte unknowingly tried to die.

Aro walked forward and stood in front of me. His cape swirled around him dramatically as he walked, and I felt it brush up against my legs. His toes were nearly touching mine as he placed his hand on my shoulder. I braced myself for the onslaught of my memories, for the rushing between us, but it never came. Bella still held me firmly. I tensed at his touch.

He looked over at Bella longingly, smitten with her even as she was keeping him out of my mind, and it churned my belly and brought bile to my throat. Even now, like this, he saw nothing but an acquisition. When his eyes met mine he smiled.

"So easy," he whispered, leaning in. "So easy to take her. You should have stayed, spared all their lives. Perhaps I'll let you live with all the guilt."

I prayed, because I knew I could not take all of them on by myself. I could not defend her, chanting and focusing as she was, all alone in this sea of dead bodies. I could not stop him from taking her away, and I knew that he was toying with me, because he would not let me live even if he thought I would suffer because of it. He would take her and he would kill me.

I prayed for my family, in final thanks for giving them to me, even though it was only recently that I realized how much I wanted and needed them. I prayed for Bella, that she would find peace even without me. I prayed for those who stood with us and never should have. I closed my eyes and waited for death, and my heart fell because I'd failed her again, over and over again. Even before I'd tried, I failed her.

But, then, for a moment, there was a flickering. For a second, I could hear them again, all connected to me. Dozens of half-thoughts flashed in my cranium, like a deep and deliberate breath. Just one, final shutter. I glanced at Bella out of the corner of my eye. Her brow was furrowed and she was still, focusing on some far off place inside herself.

I thought perhaps I'd imagined it, that I'd dreamt this up in one last-ditch effort, one memory of what I was unwilling to fully give up. I thought that maybe, this was what finally dying was like—-hope that would never actually come. But then it happened again, like a series of pictures that nearly had no shape. I heard thoughts that moments ago had been silent. Bella's face changed as she recognized what she was doing. It felt different to her, I could tell. It felt different to me as well, through the shield that she was stretching over me.

And then it happened again, longer this time, and I couldn't help the smirk that I gave Aro, or the sigh that I released, because I couldn't believe I'd ever doubted her. She was in it now, and she was waiting for me, holding it back until the perfect time. Aro didn't know yet, and I delighted in telling him.

"Did you ever think," I said, leaning in as he had done to me, "that you don't know _every_thing? That you underestimate even her?"

Alec fell back as his mist fell away. It swooped back into him like a vacuum, teetering him with the force of it, at the same time that the world and his victims woke around him. Bella's power surged, like a too-bright lightbulb. I didn't understand it all at the time, didn't put two and two together, even in my vampire mind, until much later. I didn't realize until after, after all the dust had settled, that Bella was not in control of her power as much as I thought, that this was something new and frightening and miraculous that she was doing. Alec's eyes widened, and before I could read his thoughts, his head was detached from his body, held high in the air by Peter, whose face was contorted in his feral scream.

The world seemed to pause, suspended as if the earth's rotation itself had stopped. Jane's hands fell to her side and she screeched and Charlotte fell to the ground, her body almost exhausted from the abuse. Alec's body remained upright as the vampires, both ours and theirs, looked on, startled. It was surreal, as if we'd all just _imagined_ that Peter was still screaming with Alec's small head grasped by his hair in his hand, his shouts echoing around us. Aro was no longer looking at me or at Bella, but at the boy who he'd wanted and cured and used for so long, as his body fell in a heap at his feet. Jane fell on her knees next to the body, and screamed again and again, wailing.

I backed away, pulled Bella with me into the middle of our group. Peter dropped Alec's head and rushed to pick Charlotte up and pulled her to his side.

The field erupted in chaos, blanketed in fury. Ours. Theirs. Aro's.

Vampire against vampire, once-men and once-woman against one another. The wolves bounded into the fray, their massive bodies knocking vampires to the side. The wolves collective thoughts were scattered and confused, but they recognized the fact that they were free to attack now, and they leapt in with zeal and youthful ignorance. Aro fell back, fully shielded by Renata and the rest of the Volturi guard, as the fight broke out in the middle, mashing the good and the bad, the demons and the fur and the innocent all together in pandemonium.

I continued to pull Bella back, holding her against me and shielding her from the fight around her. Her eyes were open now, wide and wondering at what she did. She'd had so much control in that moment, but still had no idea how she wielded it. My family followed back as we moved, surrounded us to protect her too.

"Whatever you do, protect Bella!" I shouted, a command that they'd already agreed upon in their minds. They all knew, even unseeing as they were, that Bella had protected me, had protected them all to rid them of Alec. I turned her and held her hands. "You need to try to keep shielding. Pull them in again."

Bella shook her head in reluctance, as if she had no idea how to replicate what had just happened, but there was not time. All around us, the fight was dancing towards us. I could hear them all, the resounding cracks of limb against limb, the feverish thoughts as their movements were met and deflected. As they gained the upper hand and then lost it, over and over.

Aro sent the unnamed vampires forward, mixing into the throng and fighting those who I knew. Bodies crashing around them, our friends and loved ones fought for our survival. I saw as Felix reached down and picked up Jane off the ground where she still sat, nearly catatonic, in her suffering, as mayhem hooked and spun and kicked around her. The Volturi regrouped after the loss of one of their own, and circled around Aro as if he was worth protecting.

So many faces. So much fury and rage and fight. It was all too much, as I watched bodies fall and felt their minds go blank in my own. I saw them falter before they even saw it themselves. I regretted it, every move that brought down our numbers, because it was because of one man's selfishness and manipulations, and it never had to be this way. But at the same time, there was no other way than this.

Charles, the nomad, was the first of our side to fall, but he would not be the last. A short, red-headed vampire took him out, tackled him after their too-quick tussle. He was bigger than her, but she was quicker, and he swung at her and missed her. She sprang up into the air, and kicked, sending his knee the wrong way six inches too far, bent the incorrect direction, and when he fell in an agonizing heap over himself, she leapt and took his head and separated it from his shoulders. I winced, and tried to block out the memory of his last unfinished thought.

I kept them in the corner of my mind, monitoring the mental tones of my loved ones and allies, against those of the Volturi, but it was Bella who I watched. Little battles were happening all over, just like this—one-on-ones that would leave a crumpled body in their wake—but I could not afford to listen to them all and I could not go to each of them and help. I couldn't worry for all of those out there, or even for my family, because I didn't have the luxury of it. There was no time for worry or regret or even guilt. I had to protect Bella. Aro was fighting now too, fully engaged in our imminent demise. He'd been only momentarily stunned from Alec's quick death. Like me, he'd underestimated Bella. Like me, he never expected her to shake him. Alec was gone because we'd both underestimated. And more were dying because we'd let it get too far.

And my love was enemy number one.

A nomad roared in front of me, searching out Bella on Aro's command. I swayed in front of him, hopping from foot to foot. He was strong, taller than me and more muscled, like Emmett. But he was slower of mind, and his movements were not as quick as they traveled through his cerebrum to his limbs. His eyes darted from me to Bella just after his mind planned his attack at her, and I spun around him and ripped at his shoulder with my teeth. It left a gaping wound in him, shiny-silvery from my venom, and his arm dangled limply at his side. While he was distracted, I kicked in his ribcage. Jacob ran by at that moment and finished him. Our eyes met and I heard the necessary camaraderie in his thoughts.

I'd finished one, but they came again and again, unrelenting.

We were fairly evenly matched, each side. I looked around at all the faces, all the bodies as they tossed about and tried to gain the upper hand, faces of those I loved and hated and those whom I was only just beginning to like. Bella was focusing her energy, but would it be enough? In the end, would it be enough to change all of this, to make it all worth it? Already there were so many empty bodies where thoughts had once been. They fell away from me like whispers.

My family was holding their own, of that much I was sure. I _was_ watching out for them, occasionally searching out through the muddied thoughts of the mass, just to make sure they were still alive. Each time, I feared what I would find. Carlisle and Esme were next to Bella and me, both of them unwilling to stray too far from her, battling one of those whose name I didn't know. Carlisle held him, managed to pin his arms, and Esme put her hands on the side of his head. She pressed her foot against his gut and pulled, and his body fell under her feet. And then another came, and another, and they began this morbid dance over and over again, watching out for us and each other.

Alice was toying with Chelsea, playing with her while Jasper flanked her and protected her back. Alice was quick and had the advantage of her gift, but Chelsea was very old and battle-ready. They circled each other, stepping feet over feet. Alice sprung, leapt at her throat. It was mate against mate, as Afton parried with Jasper, a revolution of four bodies like careful synchronization. Chelsea could not break them, as much as she tried. Their bond was too strong, and even as Chelsea was darting away from Alice, trying not to think of her next move, she was trying to sever them. In the end, though, it was Alice who severed _her, _catching her in a moment of frustration with her venom and fangs at her neck. Alice tore at her, and Afton cried out in agony at the loss of his mate. Her eyes went blank and she fell to her knees.

Bonds that had been so strong for centuries snapped like too-taut wires with Chelsea's death. Aro cried out across the field at his sudden loss.

I looked out over the fight, and watched as a half a dozen vampires fled to the tree line. Movement caught the corner of my eye, and I saw a sight I never before imagined possible. Marcus was fighting Caius, and while Caius had more hand-to-hand experience, he was arrogant and slightly thrown by the fact that it was Marcus who was his opponent. Despite the lifetimes of numbness, Marcus was holding his own, meeting him throw for throw. They connected again and again, sending thunder crashes through the sky, a flurry of black cloaks whipping around them. I didn't know how long it would last, this impasse between the two once-rulers.

Benjamin had lit a fire, and the air was burning black-ashen and putrid, filling the sky with the remains of the fallen, both ours and theirs. Because we were not immune. We'd already lost so many.

In the middle of the field, two, small wolves lay unbreathing and broken, while another lay beside them and whimpered her laments. Garrett's left arm was no longer attached to him, and Tanya was on the ground, left for dead for another kill. Amun was dead, burned already on the pyre, and Kebi was far from here, already fleeing in grief. Jane had recovered and was on a mission of vengeance, causing pain while the others came behind and destroyed them. I listened as they fell, those that had stood behind us—Senna and Mary and the wolf called Paul—and my head hurt. This was because of me, and the guilt pricked at my eyes where no tears could fall.

I saw Jane coming at us, her eyes and mind focusing solely on Bella. White rage like her talent filled her head, and it was directed at Bella, only at Bella._ This is because of_ her, Jane thought, her mind consumed with the memories of Alec's death. _She will suffer and die and then I will kill all of them_. Jane could not hurt me with her power, not with Bella wrapped all around me, but I still had a moment of doubt, a flicker of fear for my mate. What if I couldn't stop Jane from getting to her?

I saw the plan that formed in her head and I hunched low and growled.

Felix attacked my left, while Demetri came at Bella from the right. I leapt in front of her, anticipating his movement toward her, knocking him back with my elbow. They had been sent by the little blonde-haired demon, placed here to distract me from protecting Bella and her unsuccessful attempts at shielding everyone. Bella was trying so hard, but all the movement was too much for her. She couldn't focus enough to keep us all in at once, and we were moving too much to protect each of our friends. Like a static radio signal, there were moments when it was so clear—where she could protect one or two of us—but it would not last. She couldn't hold anyone besides me for a steady amount of time, and her knees sometimes buckled from the devastation of it. It was like grasping at air, trying to hold it when all it wanted was to fly away.

Felix grabbed me and threw me to the earth, and the ground caved, just a little. The grass was matted where we were, and my back muddied as my head hit. He held me down and I struggled, unable to get up back to Bella. Demetri meandered over to her, whose eyes were wide and terrified at my compromised position on the ground. I could see the panic in her eyes for me, but her hesitation only lasted a moment, because then she growled and launched herself at him, leaping and taking his head between her hands. He hadn't expected her to defend herself, because he still imagined her prone and delicate.

But she was not delicate, not like he hoped she would be. Demetri had wanted to possess and hurt and abuse her because he couldn't track her. But he had not anticipated that she was stronger than a girl-woman, a flower waiting to be unfurled. He did not know that he had helped make her a monster, helped harden and temper her. He had been foolish, too consumed with consuming her, to see that she could rip him apart from the inside out.

In a too-easy movement, she ripped his head away, and then his arms and then his legs. she pushed her hand into his chest and pulled out his dark heart. And she stood over what was left of him, his pieces untraceable.

"Fuck. You," she said.

It only took Felix a moment to release me and step away. She held her hand out to me. My mouth was hanging open, and she looked away.

"Too much?" she whispered, her eyes on the ground where the pieces of Demetri lay. I leaned over, took her chin between my fingers, and kissed her quickly, unable to tell her how proud of her I was, how terrified of her, and how thankful I was for her, all at once.

"Incredible," I whispered. This had been _her_ kill, her rite.

But our moment was not long. I heard the agonizing screaming of my brother before I heard Rose's yell for me. Jane had Emmett, was holding him up with her power. His body was contorted, standing still but shaking as though he was coursing with electrical current. The pain in his head was so familiar, but still so distant, but I remembered it for myself, all blinding heat and stinging numbness all at the same time.

"Bella!" Rose said, pleading with her in a desperate attempt to coerce her talent. I tried to rush at Jane, but Santiago was suddenly there, pulling me back and holding my throat. I cursed under my breath, because I hadn't been fast enough, hadn't been ready for him to come at me. I turned and fought him, hitting him in the head as he blocked another punch.

Rose rushed in front of Bella, took my place where I couldn't be. I hoped I could tell her someday, what that movement meant to me, but she was thinking of protecting Bella at all costs, helping her block Emmett from Jane's power. It didn't matter, either way. She'd protected Bella.

Above us, the sky had lightened. Tiny, white-yellow beams of light shattered through the thinning clouds. In patches, the field began to sparkle and scatter light. Had there not been so much death and blackening decay, it might have been beautiful. But this was far from pretty or radiant. Still, despite the billowing ashen smoke that the wind swept away, sunlight shifted over us.

Jane continued to torture Emmett, shocking him over and over again with white fire, as I struggled under Santiago's age and brute strength. He held my throat, slowly crushing my windpipe with his fingertips. I wanted to yell at Rose to stay where she was despite what Jane did, but I couldn't. I kicked at him, as he lifted me higher and higher. I heard Rose's terrified, silent pleas—her begging to Bella and me and God and Jane—but Jane laughed at her.

"Get _out_ of the way," she said evenly, "or I will burn you like I am burning your idiot husband."

Rose screamed and crouched to leap, but then Emmett fell to the ground with a _thud. _For a moment, Rose and Jane both stilled. Jane looked at her hands, confused, and tried again.

Santiago's grip faltered, his hands dropping me for a fraction of a second. It was enough.

Jane's hands tensed to induce pain again, and Emmett anticipated the pain again, but it didn't come.

His mind whispered, _Bella, _because he thought she was shielding him, but there was no feeling of being wrapped up, no protective clarity in his mind like what was always in my mind when Bella shielded me.

All around me, I heard them as they staggered. The venom that had swelled at the attack dissipated, pulled back over their teeth with a retching burn. Their bodies, usually so unrelenting and sure, faltered. Their hearts leapt inside the confines of their chests, shuttered. Their lungs took in breath on their own, without reason, without premeditation.

Above, the clouds shifted and bathed the field in warm light.

And no one sparkled.

The field breathed, and gasped and groaned as bodies became pained. My ears rang with blood, pumping through dozens of long-dead hearts.

Santiago dropped me because he was not strong enough anymore. Jane tripped. Garrett screamed at his now-red-bloodied and missing arm. I heard Tanya groan far away and gasp for air that her crushed lungs required. Kate could not stun. My father sought me out with his mind and a tear slipped down his cheek. Caius threw up the bloody contents of his stomach. Alice couldn't see anything clearly, besides what a human's eyes could pick up.

Bella had turned them human, stripped them all of their ancient curse— the good and the bad. They were terrified, searching, stumbling mortal. Chaos filled their minds, panic stirred them. They could die, all of them.

Jane and Santiago. And _Aro. _

Rosalie was quick to understand, quicker than most. She rose up and snorted, and in Jane's befuddled mind, I saw her smile from in front of Bella. She straightened and stretched and balled her fists, cracking long-rested tendons and ligaments, and she walked toward her—not as gracefully as Rose once would have, but still fluid like a woman on a mission. Rose towered over the little useless girl, pulled her hand back and laughed.

"Oh, it's on bitch!" And then Rose hit her, swallowing up the pain in her own fists as she bloodied Jane's face, over and over again until you couldn't tell that she was once highly-feared and unnaturally powerful. Or a girl.

Like the wolves collective mind, the vampires seemed to sigh and groan and whimper in understanding, one right after the other, not nearly as fast as they once would have.

_Human._

I looked over at Bella. Her eyes were open wide and glazed over, brilliant white. She had no pupils any longer, and when our eyes met, she was not looking _at_ me, but somewhere far away. She had risen, up on her tiptoes, and her body bent upward at an impossible angle. Her hands were lifted, little balls that shook, and her lips were moving faster than any of them could follow. She was clenching her fingers into her palm with fury, and her body sparkled under the imposing sun, not like little prisms, but like the light was coming right out of her from the inside—out of her eye sockets and wrists, like she was cut and was bleeding fire. She was radiant and I could still feel her, still feel her power all around me.

I'd never been so afraid, and so aware, and so sure of anything. I quaked.

I could still read all of their thoughts, all the confusion and pain and fleeing power. I could still sense the distant noises of the forest, and smell the sunlight and the creek miles away. I could see all the way past this place, deep into the darkness that was not touched by sunlight yet. I couldn't cry, and I didn't need to breath, and the rushing pulses all around me thrummed in my teeth like a drum, calling to me.

_Lub-dub, blood, _their tired veins whispered to me, chanting like a mantra.

I still craved blood, and I still craved vengeance, and I wanted to destroy everything the way that my kind was meant to.

And across the field, I looked at Aro. Our eyes connected, mine still blood-red, and his milky brown. And I smiled.

I was behind him, faster than he could comprehend. When I wrapped my fingers through his black hair, he could not read my wants and desires and all of my moments. His eyes were wide and frightened, but it did not cause me pause as I placed my hands over his ears and felt his heartbeat in my palms.

I could see Bella across the field. The vampires separated between us, those that were left of the Volturi on one side, and those that were left of us on the other. They parted like the great Red Sea, dragging those that needed it with their weak, human muscles. There was so much fear and emptiness and regret, but I fed off of it. I paused and watched her for what was no time for the rest of them, but felt like an eternity for me. She was glowing, shattering the light as it hit her out of the clear sky, the only one besides me who could throw it that way.

This was all because of her. For her.

It was all worth every movement, every moment, every mistake.

"Aro," I said, leaning down and making him shake with real fear. "So easy. So easy to take you. You could have spared all of this. But I will _not_ let you live with your guilt."

I had expected so much, had wondered what Aro—terrifying, menacing Aro, who commanded murder and tortured for pleasure—would be thinking in his final moments. With all he had seen and with all the memories that he had consumed and manipulated and discarded, I expected it to be grandiose and haunting.

But Aro's thoughts were not poetic in this last and final moment. They were no what I had hoped for after all the torture and all of the angst. He was nothing, no better than any other man. He was desperate and afraid and he was grasping at shallow breathes like he'd relied on them all his life. Aro's last moment was pathetic.

My hands twisted. His body tore like paper.

Bella's eyes softened, and our gazes connected. They turned from terrible white to softening red. I didn't need to speak to tell her of my love, because I think, at that moment, she could hear inside _my_ mind.

_I love you_, I thought.

_I love you_, she mouthed. The field began to shimmer again as Bella released them all from their human entrapments with flickering uncertainty, from her blinding power and gruesome gift. Mortality had only been temporary, exactly what Bella had needed, when she had needed it.

And then the wolves descended, sweeping up the mess with their fangs and their duty to their people and their alliance with us because of one, once-human girl.

* * *

The field was stained red, splattered with the remnants of the vampires-turned-momentarity-human, and with the blood from the fallen and injured wolves. The pack had survived, outlived more than I thought they could. They lost only five, but it was still too much.

It was all too much.

Once the wolves had finished their ripping and tearing and blood-letting, they backed away and mourned their lost ones, leaving us to deal with the repercussions of the last half an hour. That was all it had taken to flip our worlds on their ends, to change everything. There was a new world emerging through the sun-splatter clouds, but we couldn't comprehend it all. We couldn't see it yet, not when everything was blood-spattered and choked with loss.

It was in silence that we washed away the mess that was left. Those that could—whose limbs were all intact and functional— picked up the Volturi remains, tossing them onto the growing tower of flames at the corner of the clearing. There were lifeless eyes and grimaces, flesh torn and mutilated. And so much regret and relief and victory all at once.

There were those that mourned: McKenna and Timothy for their mates, and Benjamin and Tia for Amun and for Kebi. Zafrina and Kachiri put their heads together and wailed for Senna, whose body they knew was already gone. We'd lost Alexa and Mary and Samuel. They were gone, burning black already in the morning light.

I took Bella in my arms, kissed her and cried with her, sinking down into each other on the ground as we held on and wept. I was so proud and so relieved, but so sorry, so struck with the heavy grief that rested in my chest for all that was now gone, all the wounds that would never heal. All I could do was hold her. All I could focus on was the feel of her in my arms and the relief that she was still here with me, and the featherlight kisses that she pressed against my neck and eyelids and lips as she wept.

It was a long time before we noticed the group around us, rejoined everyone else's reality.

But Aro was dead, his body broken and ash. I wished it had been Bella's hands that had ripped his head from his body, but she'd been there right with me. It was _because_ of her that he was gone. And he would never come for her again.

We had lost loved ones and brethren, but the Volturi had been _devastated_. They would not recover. Only a handful remained. No one with talents was left standing on their side—Caius, but the Romanians had already left to go find him; Felix, because he'd fled in terror of Bella's gift. Perhaps more, along with some of Aro's witnesses. But the reign of the Volturi was done.

A flicker of hope still remained, even through the agony of our losses. A remnant of joy peaked through the heavy weight of grief. Inside, there was still a sense of victory.

Bella and I watched from our spot on the ground as Garret sought out his arm. When he found it, he held it above his head as Kate cheered. They laughed, and Bella buried her face in my neck to stifle her inappropriate giggles. I held her tight, feeling her shake, and couldn't help it when I laughed with her, because it was a release. I needed it, as wrong as it was.

Alice ran to us and wrapped her little arms around us, piling onto the ground with us. It knocked us over and toppled us, and our laughter spread to her and then to Jasper. Alice kissed her cheek and thanked Bella for giving her one human moment that she could remember. Rose and Emmett joined us then. He bent down and picked up Bella like a well-loved rag doll, spinning her and laughing with her as she fake-beat him with her little fists. Rose threw herself at her husband and spun with them, wrapping Bella up in her own gratitude. I knew that it would not be tense between them again. That had died away when they stood together in battle.

All around us, in the midst of the carnage, little victory celebrations were igniting—between lovers and between friends, and between families that had not been separated, and between those that needed someone to lean on, because they had lost too much.

Endings and new beginnings, all in one place.

We walked up to my father, and my mother. Bella was in my arms, pulled close to me, where I would never let her leave again. Esme kissed us both, and Carlisle squeezed too tight, but not nearly tight enough. They stood beside a broken and weakened body, slumped down in exhaustion. It made me smile to see him there, still alive.

"Marcus," my father said, offering him his arm to help him stand. "You are alive."

"Yes," Marcus said, nodding, but there was no sense of victory for him. There was no hope or promise of what the future held. He was already looking into it, knowing what it would bring.

"Stay with us," Carlisle offered, and Esme was quick to nod and place her hand on his sleeve, which was ripped away and tattered from the battle. He smiled down at her in regretful thanks.

"Thank you," Marcus said. "I am grateful, but my place is not here."

He looked off wistfully into the trees, thinking of how much he'd lost. For less than a moment, he considered their offer, but it would never work. His heart was already gone, far away and resolved. I mourned him. Alice's mind flickered and we shared a look. I nodded, knowing what his heart had long ago decided for him, but he'd never been able to act upon until now.

He hoped today had been enough—that today, he'd done enough penance. He was banking on it.

He clasped my fathers shoulder and kissed Esme's hand. He stroked down Bella's cheek and took my palm in his, already knowing that I knew what his intentions were. He didn't hide them from me. What would have been the point? With his talent, the bond between Bella and I glowed amber, pulsing like a living, breathing being. It hurt him, but gave him even more resolve. There had to be a bond still left for him. He hoped he could find it again. Slowly, like a man who had nothing left here, he released me.

_Protect her,_ he thought_. Cherish every second. Never let her go. _

Slowly, he waked toward the direction of the trees, alone in a world that no longer held him there. His mind was gone, his hope reaching out in front of him to the unknown. I let Carlisle believe he went away to wander the earth, but I knew he was going to follow the wolves, beg them to end it all_. _

I let him go, meet Didyme in whatever world waited for him, knowing that I would do the same if I was in his shoes.

_Never let her go_, I thought. _Never let her go. Alone._

Never again.

We are entwined.

_._

_._

_._

_**End Notes:**_

...the end... **JUST KIDDING! **Close, but not quite. This chapter was too heavy, don't you think? Where's the love? Where's the gooeiness!? Where is the sexing?! No, this is not _quite _the end.

I hope the fight scared you, surprised you, made you sad but still fulfilled all your hopes and wishes too. It was one of the hardest ones to write, because there was **so** much, but also one of the best, because you guys had so much excitement for it.

But isn't Bella IN-FRICKIN-CREDIBLE!? I want to be her when I grow up!

Thank you all so, SO much, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for hanging in there for this, and for celebrating when Bella ripped out Demetri's heart (Come on, you know you fist-pumped). Thanks for being so excited for this chapter and for your amazing reviews. It's overwhelming. I'm humbled.

A special thanks to my hubby (Yep, he's still in it with me), who's been waiting for this chapter with more anticipation than even you guys. He picked the title... and Bella's epic moment (there were a few options). Yep... he's a keeper. I know.

One chapter and an epi left! :D I'm sure there will be some questions. I'll try to address them collectively, in the author's note for chapter 29, but if you just can't wait, message me!

Enjoy the BD Release. :D

Until next time! Mwah!


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